Trusty Hogs - Ep32. AMY ANNETTE / Jokes, Jugs & Judith Butler

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

Join us for another week of chaos and fun with Helen, Catherine, and this week's guest: Amy Annette!Amy Annette is a co-editor and contributor to I Call Myself a Feminist, and has featured on the Reasons To Be Cheerful and Evil Genius Podcasts.Thank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary FoxPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Kierah Leach / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes / Caitlyn Lyth / Sarah & Molly / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Sarah & Adam / Oliver JagoWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome to episode 32 of Trusty Hogs. We're going to tell you all about us and then we're going to have a guest and they're going to tell us all about them and then we're going to listen to your problems and we're going to hear all about you. And then we're going to say thank you and have a good life and we'll never meet again. We can't wait. We can't wait. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Oh my God.

I know. That one actually. Do you hurt your neck? I don't think I hurt my neck, but is it the soft palate? Yeah. It vibrated in a way that I was. I've never felt before and I feel like

I've dislodged something. It looked like you were cricking your neck in the process. I was like, oh God, she's going to hurt herself. Do you want to check?

No, I don't want to see it. I don't want to close your mouth. Close your mouth. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah. You're going to give me your problems

and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the table. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs or maybe no

Oh my god, I think some hummus just came out of the mouth Oh, Jesus! Or a tooth, no hummus. Oh, for fuck it! You know, that happens to people that just be living their life and a tooth will fall out. That's not true, Alan. No, it does, it does.

Yeah, but it shouldn't. You know that, you understand that? It shouldn't. I know, I know it shouldn't, but like, oh, a poem on going notification. Okay, pay attention. phone on silent, phone on silent, isn't there a play mode? Thank you, Helen. How you been?

What you've been up to? I have something to tell you. I vaguely know what you're going to tell me because you just mentioned it before this. I'm going to say this. I love you and I want us to get along this week in this episode. If anyone listening who's new, we are actually friends. Yeah. Oh my God.

I love you so much. We're really good friends. Oh my God. So recently I got asked in an interview how our dynamic works. And I was like, oh, because we love each other. And honestly, the interviewer was like, um right no but like had no like why do you think that you're like you're like personas work together and i was like because we trust each other because we're friends and they're like

ah and i was like no we can only say the horrible things we say to each other because there's a love they're friends yeah but everyone's like oh i wonder how they got put together because they don't have the same agent it's like no one put us together yeah we hang out oh my god if anybody said the shit you say to me and i didn't love them why would i'm about to say some more shit to you. Oh, no doubt, but also there's a trust there. Like, we believe, like, we believe the other person has... Anyway, people don't like it. Regardless, um, apparently

you can't abuse your friends in public without everyone thinking you're not really friends. I know. Um, you have clearly started, you've got um, let's say a new lease of life compared to last week. Yeah. I feel like maybe the kombucha we spoke about and the extras has worked out for you. I'm having another. Yeah, because you've got a problem. I do

think that you go through phases, like a teenage girl, trying to find her personality. Okay. You're not going to like what I have to say. What's, go on. What's the new joie de vivre? What's that phrase?

I've gotten, do you mean, um... Your new sang. Yeah, but do you mean, uh, raise on death? Okay. Bless you. No. I'm, I hate myself.

Okay. Um, so the, I'm, I've gotten really into class pass where you buy credits and then you can go to like any gym class in your area and it means that you don't get bored and you don't get stuck going to the same routine in the gym because I always end up not using my gym membership so I quit my gym membership because it was costing me too much money.

Then I do class pass. I can do it in any city I go to for a tour but also means like I can change my routine all the time. So you the other day I did a class a spin class that was Coachella themed at cycle, spelled Picycle. Wait, wait, spell it? Spell it. P-Cycle. It's P-S-Y-C-L-E cycle.

And I had the best time... It was taught by a woman called Veroni. What, rich American girls on M-G-M-G-A on bikes? She was rich an American. Honestly, she was... I love Kanye West. She no cocaine, but she learned, like, everyone's name, and I loved her so much. I felt so supportive, but that's not the point.

What I got really into is this class called Reshape at One Rebel. Reshape. Oh, my God. Okay. So you do, like, it's like a hit class where you go from cardio to weights, but the cardio is all done on a treadmill. Okay. Helen, I go there at 7.30 in the morning.

I get up at 6.50 in the morning and I go to this place and I get a protein shake afterwards. I have to stop doing that. I cannot wait for this phase to end. Oh, Jesus Christ. All the endorphin she's getting now. You imagine two weeks' time. I'll be like, oh, fuck. I'm 100% putting on weight from all the protein shakes.

I'm eating it. Yeah, well, live your life. Yeah. fine but um more importantly i i it makes me high like i i always have gotten a lot of endorphins from exercise but this class something about it you know what it is they don't mention anything about weight loss they don't make anything about body type for an hour a woman tells you how fucking strong you are and i come out being like i'm a machine i am a goddess i can start my obviously by noon i need a now you're walking across a busy road in london putting your hand out to

stop a car at four feet. But not today. I really am and then by noon every time I need a nap because it's way too early a start from my lifestyle. Is it the sort of high where you're like I should not go out with a card with this high because I will buy everything I say? Oh 100%. I can't bring my wallet. Of course I can't bring my wallet. It's the kind of thing where I'm like maybe I'll jog home. Like it's crazy. Yeah, I'm crazy after it. And then I immediately get tuckered out and need a nap. But I love them so much. So is it the endorphins but also a woman telling you that you're like, you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

It's actually more of that. It is the endorphins, but honestly, in adulthood, you do not get people telling you what a brilliant girl you are for an hour every day. You just don't have that. And this woman just tells me

I'm so strong. I look amazing. My form is amazing. I'm getting so fit right now. I'm challenging myself. I'm pushing myself. I'm going beyond my limits. I walk ahead and I'm like,

I can be anything. I actually want this too. I didn't realize I wanted this. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous. So if I showed up and did like, like, let's say, like, my fitness is very low at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I showed up did really badly, would they still be like, you can do anything?

Yes. They'll be like, Helen, good for you. This is your hour. I'm going to shit myself on the treadmill and they'll be like, she can do anything. Look at her shitting. Look at Helen on the treadmill, shit and everyone, look at Helen. No, nobody looks at each other. It's in the dark.

That's my favourite part. It's in the dark. They have like club lighting. Club lighting and amazing music. And somebody's just like, just. do your, what your best is. Forget everyone else. This is about you. This is your hour, your time, your life,

your fitness. And you don't look at each other. You genuinely don't. You know, you genuinely don't. People can't breathe, so they're like busy just being like, oh, my life, my hour, my fitness. And at the end of it, do all say something nice to the lady that's run the class? Yeah, she stands at the door and she's like,

great work. Hey, you were great today. Hey, well done. Hi again. But do you give her something? I always say thank you so much. Or, I reckon she needs it back. Yeah, no, for sure. Or else I'll be like, you kicked my ass today. Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

It's so fun. Imagine how tired she is by the end of the day of telling all these fucking average women that they're doing amazing. Like, not you. Not you. But also, I'm the most average woman in this class. These women have been going their whole lives. They're obviously like addicted. This woman spends her whole day, like, screaming a women like how amazing they are, how brilliant they are.

Well, they can't breathe and they're like clearly not doing that well, maybe. Yeah, fair. And then at the end of the class, they'll just go, thank you. Instead of going like, no, you're the hero. Yeah, that's true. Like, we only compliment to receive compliments back, right? Yeah, that's fair. Oh, that's fair.

Your dress is nice. You actually do look beautiful today. I do! You look like sleeping beauty. This blue, this blue, love it on you. The blonde hair, gorgeous. Big-you-go. I'm glad you're thriving.

But yeah, so obviously, like, I don't know how long this, you know, my obsessions are like. Two weeks. I used to be a woman who, I was an evangelist about Hello Fresh now. I'm an evangelist about Class Pass. Hit me up if you want a link. And, um, walk my doggy.com, borrow my doggy. Yeah, phase. I do have phase.

That one's nearly repeated out, which is brilliant. No, I'm still quizzing. Yeah, of course you are, but now you're getting into class pass. You're right. You're right. Let's bring on the new thing. You're so right. Do you remember when it was a message today to me and all your other friends to be like,

let's do something mad? Do you want to go here? Do you want to do this? Yeah, that's true. I am very keen. I can't wait for the art gallery phase, which is coming up at some point. It's never coming. It's never coming.

You say it's not coming. You'll be surprised. No, I've agreed to do a half marathon with Chloe Pets. But can I tell you a secret while they're not here? Yeah. I don't want to. I don't want to. It seems really hard.

And like you have to train for longer than four weeks. No, but you can walk. You can walk a marathon. There's no rules. I remember fighting inside about the London Marathon. You can walk it. Okay. Do you think Chloe's going to be training?

No way. Okay, great. Okay, that's really comforting. Where is? I'm also confident you're already much, much, much. I haven't run in months. Yeah, I've seen Catherine walk and lose breath. That's true, but I can also run, but I haven't been running for a while.

But I've been doing these running classes, so I don't know. Do you want to like have me recorded for you and Chloe when you're running along to be like, you're perfect? That would be amazing. You can do anything. And then every fifth one would be like, run your fucking stupid whore. Yes, I love it. Why are you such dumb bitches? You agreed to this.

Why did you agree to this fucking new? Yeah, that's a good idea. You've got to run fast because everyone hates you. Yeah. That's perfect. That's actually exactly what I mean. I don't care what anyone says.

I think you guys are quite funny. I think that's what, you know what it is? I think what I like about the classes, which I think what I would like about that is, when you're self-employed, you have to self-motivate a lot of the time. Yeah. Oh, God.

But for an hour, you know, three times a week, somebody else just tells me what to do. I don't have to make a decision. And I love it. That is such a good point I fucking love it. That's what I think you liked about Hello Fresh as well. Yeah, exactly. No decision. Is I didn't give you any like choices as far as like how much to make?

How's what you do? How are you preparing for? Like what you do? How long it takes to make it? It's like, this is what you do. This is what you're getting. That's so true. That's why I hate when the rules are confusing at quizzes. It's like, just tell me the rules and I'll stick to the rules. You're so wise. Interesting. Please send me messages about what you think Catherine's new phases are and I'll tell you if she's already done them. Legit The Curly Girl method phase Remember that?

I'm still doing that No, okay Anyone watching on YouTube knows that still thriving The reason that I'm My hair is like this Is because I did that TV job But I honestly

I'm still doing the curly girl The Kylie Girl method And actually my hair is better Than it has been Health-wise I just wanted to be long again But it will be Anywho

I'm looking forward to the goth phase No I did that in my jeans place We always fall back I'm gonna go back into my Avalovine phase And start wearing ties everywhere I love that for you But I never don't have to tie it so it was always elasticated from Claire's accessories.

The love of God. And then a boy would pull on it and make me cry. I'll show you a head of tired. Thank you. No, I won't learn. Tell me, you have had a big week too. I had a funeral. Did you do the double act?

No. Did I speak about this on the fuck? Yeah, you said you and your mom were going to do a duo. So basically, if anyone who doesn't know, my mum's cousin died, rest in peace, David. Sorry, David. Sorry, David. Sorry, I think I'm a better place, better place. Do you believe in that?

It's from Blythe, Newcastle. Oh, better place. Literally anywhere to be better. Okay, fine. And he asked if me and my mom would do the eulogies, right? So you've already got awkward. I'm sorry to say. The Irish love death, but it makes you panic.

Why? I love death. I just never heard anyone say. It doesn't matter if I don't believe in heaven anywhere. Like the ground is better than flying. Jesus Christ, Blythe must be bad. Okay, go on. The only time I've had Blythe outside of my family is on the join the army adverts where they're like,

my name's Dave, a name from Bleeve. Okay, yeah. That's the idea. That's the only way... Born in Blythe, made a misogynist in the army. Oh, yeah, made a misogynist in the Navy. So number one, David, we don't understand his life story. I think I spoke about this last time.

Like, it's a mystery. He might have worked for MI5 or MI6, but we can't tell. He disappeared for many years. Or neither? And then, or neither. So we were hoping that someone would show up at the funeral, like in a black suit, like men in black style. Oh.

And then just sit down. And then we'd all know if it was true or not. But nothing like that happened. Nothing. And then my cousin was like, oh, he'll come with like a blankie machine. like a blankie, blankie Where they sort of scrap your memory But we don't think it happened

Okay My mom and me were both asked to do the eulogies So she, she did the eulogy Eulogy, the life one You know when you like say like Oh, they were like This is what they were like And like blah blah blah

Okay What other kind of eulogy is there, Helen? So, oh the Helen eulogies This is my second eulogy Okay So my first eulogy I crushed Of course

But it was like it was tricky Because his mum was there crying And it just sort of like distracted the vibes do you know what I mean But like I still did well I still did well I just feel selfish

And that eulogy was very comfortable Because not comfortable It's always fucking horrible But it was for a close friend And I knew his friends So I knew most of the congregation Right Okay fine you knew what the audience was

The room was set up right We knew the vibe I knew what I was doing And I was it wasn't a religious ceremony Anyway So I was on after someone else Who like said some like lovely words So blah blah

So this one in a church Oh wow Lots of people I don't know Old Grey Jordy It's very confused crowd very hard crowd not like no one was there to see me

wow that's weird they were 100% there for coffin oh definitely for the coffin because the eyes kept from going to the coffin when I was talking and I was close to coffin but not so close because you never want to like be the one that tips it that's no of course yeah you got be very careful you did a coffin at the funeral no matter how good you're set when or eulogy all they will talk about is the fact the coffin

tipped over it's true this is a comedy will always trump you so I will say this obviously in comedy like there are certain acts that are harder to follow like people always find music really stressful to follow and like magic you know sure so I went on after a tearful tribute a poem and a Bible verse

oh for Fox say so the the carcophony of fucks going through my mind at this point yeah now David wanted a funny eulogy tribute thing oh that's why he asked you he won't and my mom as well he was like I want it to be like a celebration I want to be funny he had one rule

don't refer to me as a good man like right i don't know but like that was whatever it's your funeral your day you do what you want the thing is just because he wanted that doesn't mean that that's what the crowd want but i feel like i've got to appease crowd and coffin so i'm sort of like between coffin and crowd number one i'm not used to going on i'm going to call it stage i'm pretty sure as a pulpit an altar or a pulpit either way probably a pulpit on the altar and i had to get up to silence no one clapped you on my no one was clapping Wow. My siblings were blocking me in the pew

and I had to get past them and I knocked off two of the fucking what are they called order of services as I went and everyone was just like and I was like, oh-ho-oh. So I had like a really big Indian the night before and I was like, oh-woh-law.

Like trying to get up. And me and some of my cousins had talked about it because like David went at a funny funeral and David was like, like, I'm big boy. Okay. Big boy.

Like he wants, I mean I know you've told you this, but like he once ain't so many. cream eggs in the 90s and they did a cream egg promotion that if you eat this many cream eggs we'll send you like a lifetime supply of cream eggs him and his mom ate so many more cream eggs they made them bespoke bags what as well as a lifetime supply of cream eggs like they both didn't stand for the last like 10 years lifetime supply look like how many will we talking oh well let's put like this it'll be a lifetime supply for your average person but for them it was a week

okay so how many are we talking like 20 a day oh yeah like yeah like just scrambling them in the morning yeah like living the dream incredible they oh god their house was the best to visit when we when we were younger it was the best to visit because it's like any they had two fridges one just for cans like for tinnies so just like pop just constantly like god forbid we drink water there what it was honestly my mum always used to like be like oh god we've got to go to davids i don't know if i can face it and i'd be like in the car like rocking back and forth like it's happening last time i went up there they um we had fish and chips at 11 a m oh yes and it was my first experience of celebrity this one this is like i just i like no maybe not my first because i'd been doing stand-up for a while

but like like first proper celebrity i went into the fish and chip shop in blythe with david who was there everyone knew him he was a celebrity and it was amazing we had fish chips bit buddies at 11 a.m. Then I had a massive ice cream and monkey blood. And then went back to theirs and two hours later it was time for tea which meant that we got

keesh each. We each got a keesh. Like a four keesh. That's incredible. Incredible eating. We used to have a joke because they always wanted to go buffet. And obviously when someone's like super plus size you have to call a head in advance to ask about so the chairs have like

don't have sideys. Do you know what I mean? For like accessibility. Okay. So we'd call up in advance and my mom would like be the one calling and be like, they're a big pair because we had, my mom had a fear that we'd arrive at like the Chinese buffet and there would just be like the teenagers that were the weekends like running out the back door like, we've got a 619 for everything.

There's not enough. So then I was like, oh, I should tell all these stories for the eulogy. And me and my cousins. You told all of these stories. No, no, because the vibe was weird. But then my, because he wanted a funny eulogy. And then my cousins were saying in the morning, we were workshopping it at the pre-wake.

And they were like, oh, like, I was like, I was thinking about starting with a round of applause, which I did do, but I did it for the coffin. Nice. But I was going to do, it was going to start with, like, let's give a round of applause to the pool bearers for really putting a shift in today. That was going to be the opener.

And then because David's mom, my aunt's Lillian died two months ago, We were going to say, at least they had a warm-up with Lillian, so they were stretched out. And that was like, our warm-up, and we were like, this is going to, this is going to kill. This is going to kill. But the vibe was so weird. I couldn't do it. Like, I couldn't bring myself to do the joke. You didn't do it.

So I said I went up and I was like, oh, it's very quiet in here. Let's have a round of applause for the coffin. Not for David. For the coffin. The coffin. I found it. Please tell me it went okay. I won them round

Oh God No I did I did I told some lovely I did a bit I was like So like David never married And I was like Oh like when people don't marry

They say oh they're usually Married to their Job But David was married To sending illegal DVDs to his cousin And I was like okay That got them on side And then I found out afterwards

There was like an agreement Between David's mate Bev And the vicar that if I went too far the vicar would cough and then she'd create something to get me off but no one told me that

but nothing happened apparently and the vicar said after I left but for anyone who doesn't know Helen's actually a stand-up comedian from live at the Apollo that's amazing that reminds me

that coughing system reminds me of my dad once did mass with this bishop I think who whenever he felt like the so that's right it was he was doing mass with a priest and one of the eulogies

was going on too long and in the priest mind. So when there was a breath taken, the priest just went hallelujah, that'll do you? Hallelujah, that'll do you? Can we start doing that to each other? And I just think it's incredible. Like, what a phrase.

But yeah, my dad was like, what? You can't just cut, oh, we're just cutting him off? Okay. And I was like, why was it going on too long? He was talking about his wife too much. And it was like his wife, his wife had died and they were like, that'll do. We get the gist. Hallelujah. Okay, mine was a very quick eulogy.

Hallelujah. That'll do. Fucking amazing. Absolutely incredible. Shall we bring on our guests? We should do our guest. I just feel like it's nice for us to have a proper catch up. No, I agree. I agree.

So I'm thriving at funerals and you're thriving at phases. Excuse you. It's not a phase. I'm committed to pass up. Oh no, you're right. This is lifelong. I will be at Reshape on Tuesday morning. Now, are you ready for her guest?

Um, am I? You are. I do. I love her. I love her. Please welcome to trusty hogs, the incredible. Amy and the next. Hello and welcome to our guest

Amy Annette Hello Amy Annette Your titty's done I just found out I'm a different size To what I am How do you mean? So this isn't the right bra size for me So Helen's boobs have grown

Had an online bra fitting And she's sad because Online No I wasn't It worked Honestly I was surprised as well No. Tech can only go so far. Please.

It was incredible. I need a lady called Susan's hands on my bosom, awkwardly cold thingsies. I had a woman called Katie go, hold your tits down and swing them at the camera. I went like this. Then she went, you're a J. No. And I went, what? And then I told my friend Francis, who's like one of my best mate.

And she cried because she was like, but you're H for Helen. But I've always been H for Helen, but I'm wearing the wrong side. But I think J for Jugs is lovely. Jay for jokes. Jay for jokes. Joke Jokes. I love it. But now I've learned so much about... What's your back size? I thought I was a 40, but I'm a 38. Oh, so you've gone down on the back, bigger on the cup?

So I was doing 48 towards the end. You're doing 48 H and now you're doing... 38. No, 40. No, 40. Thank God. Whoa. How big do they go back in? Thank God. I was like, you need to get back on life.

It's not worked out. No, I basically, because I was for boobing a lot. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I thought that was just because my boobs were, like, very expressive. No, but they did this gorgeous thing where they sent Helen, because now she's an influencer. Ah, yeah. They sent her some free bras.

Oh, my God, they're so expensive. Oh, my God. It was, literally, they just contacted me. Who's they? It was, uh, Kirby K. Incredible. Thank you, Kirby K. Thank you, Kirby K.

Thank you. Oh, niceest message being like, hey, we liked your pilot. What the fuck? A pilot. We noticed you've got massive tits. I was like, I do, I do have massive tits. I love the idea of like someone creeping on like BBC comedy being like, who's got the tits for this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

At the nicest and they were like, look, it's a Zoom meeting, but we can do sizing on Zoom. And I was like, you know what, no fucking, I've never done it before. Yeah. New opportunity. They sent me, okay, I haven't told you this. So they sent me a selection of bras and sort of that. They're all amazing. Yeah, they're beautiful.

Obviously, I am still going through a slight adjustment period because I haven't worn a wire in, eight years. Oh my god, it has a wire. Wait, so you were doing wireless before? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. How are they staying up? Amy, were they? This is the thing. Were they? My shoulders have not

your densing them now here from where my tits pull down. I saw an osteopath once who was like you, I see a lot of women your age with bosoms of your thighs, which you found very awkward to get out, but he was like you all have a hunch from shame walking, not wanting to walk with a straight back because all the straight back is to be like

quite perky. You feel like your peak up. Exactly. this. Exactly this. So he was like, that's your shame hump and you need to get over yourself. That's awful. We were just saying that on the extras last week, weren't we? Like, I'm growing my shame hump. Yes, Gourgeois. That's so sad.

This, wait for this. Tell me. Completely revelation. Revolutionary and revelatory. Oh my God, my vocabulary has been improving like no one's fucking business recently. I know. Have you been reading a book again? Yes. I know. I knew it. I knew. Which one? I'm reading. I just finished

Murakami after dark. Oh my God. 101 pages. Oh my God. That's how you know it's good, but it's over 200 pages. Big book. But I basically, she said, I'm going to send you a sleep bra. And I went, what the fuck's this?

She was like, tell me honest, tell me true. When you turn over in bed, do your tits slap and does it hurt? I was like, yeah, everyone's tits slap and doesn't hurt. No. She was like, you should not be suffering. Oh my God. And I was like, I'm suffering. I didn't even know.

Because like, if I turn, if I don't hold them when you're sleepy. The round of applause. Yeah, you get like a round of applause. Clap, clap. What? And it's really easy to get your tits stuck under an arm. So every time you turn, you've got to rearrange yourself. Ow.

Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. So what's a sleep bra? Incredible. So obviously, unwired. Sure. But it's got little things that go here. Between the clivage.

That keep them in place. Not restrictive. It's incredible. I turn now and it's just the sound of the bed struggling. Gorgeous. But not my boobies. And it's a real, like, I think Sunil is probably sleeping better because of it. I think that would be quite triggering for me, though, because I remember.

reading Jerry Hallowell's autobiography age, I would say I was maybe 16 maybe younger. That you should always wear a bra at night and she always, her mother told her didn't have a nice mother to wear a bra so that her boobs would never be saggy. So from the age of 16 she wore a wired bra to sleep. And then of course after reading it I was like well I guess I must do this. And then we all injured

our back and like you know have like permanent scars under the book. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's also like that age of not having proper bras. Like I've only just got my proper bras. But also as if I needed to do it, I I don't have any tits now. They've grown since then. But God bless Jerry. Howell. Neither does she.

I know, exactly. She has more than me, but that's saying something. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't her, like, I guess actually, I was about to say it wasn't her main feature. Sorry, it was truly her main feature. The dress, the tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The board. Yeah. So, take it back, Jerry. I understand where your trauma came from. But it's just crazy. I get it. It's crazy. Yeah.

But seriously, the sleep bra. Yeah. I would, I would 100% look into it, babe. Just for the experience. And I know when you're saying, like you got like a trauma of like wearing a bra to bed. Yeah. It didn't even feel like a bra.

It does just feel like a sports top kind of thing? Yeah, but to the point where I'm like, I guarantee I'll be wearing this just as my everyday bra now. There it is. Like, no way. But that was my experience in the lockdown. I got into sports bras. Yeah.

And I suddenly was like, well, why don't I wear anything else? Yeah. But it's really quick. Like, I've never spoken about this. But like, with sports bras, the sweat is insane for me. Like, actually wet. And they're always like, we're breathable. But it's not.

I think maybe because I'm getting them all from Berlin. I get them from Rossman. like the super cheap like extra out extra large one yeah you want to go breathable but i'm wet i'm really wet when i wake up because i'll see i'm a hashtag sweaty girl very much my identity so i assume that that was me these sweaty girl updates on instagram more than i can say my new content i was ashamed of my sweat and then i thought no way this is content oh no you really branded it and by the way as a person who sweats more because of her medication i i feel it so hard not even just in the summertime it applies to me all year round girl i had this big number

Antidepressants make a lot of people sweat, by the way. That's interesting I have on antidepressant. Me too. That could be part of it. Is it a specific antidepressant? No, it's a side effect of a lot of them, especially night sweats. Yeah, night sweatsets I knew about. But I've been a sweaty girl, I would say, all of my life.

Pre-antidepressants, post-antidpressants. She's a wet baby. I'm a wet baby. A shining star. Shining star. And I used to know, I used to want to get in on the glow, you know, I'm reclaiming sweaty. Yeah, I'm a sweaty girl. Yeah, Gory, don't mind it.

I'll share it. but I do find that I went into a pub the other day so a friend hadn't seen for a very long time I went oh guys I'm sorry I'm really sweaty and she said you always say that when you went to the room oh rude that's really rude let them go yeah I really want to say her name but I shan't

no but let her go because she is in the comedy industry and I do want to be booked by her for other things but I was like yeah it's called charm okay yeah also we all have an opener yeah exactly it's mine is I'm really sweaty guys it's a catchphrase is what's it's like a tick holding your boobs yeah yeah yeah also walking into a room like hey he he boom yeah mine is sorry I'm like this we all do something yeah that's just that's just the

way it is no yours is a hundred percent even if you're already there you've been there with a group of people and you've all got full drinks now can I get anyone anything can I get anyone everything is everything all right no I can get you one because I'm going up short I'm going to the bar now like oh I can get you well I just go around I just get around in and then she just comes back and it's like, no one needs tap water, we're all having a great now. She's like, but sure, we've got to stay hydrated. And crisp. It's like your plants that are

constantly being watered and preened. Come on. Oh my God, Chris. I love a round of crisps at a bar. I just think everybody wants them. Nobody ever is disappointed you brought some crisps over. It's so chic. Yeah. And then you open it up to share. Oh my God. If you ever see Catherine in the wild, she'd be doing a million trips to the bar and back.

We're just random bits involved people. She doesn't really know, but wants to like her. And it works. It really does. I love paying for stuff. Really helps. Really help. Yeah.

But you're well? I'm well. Yes, I saw you guys yesterday at your gig. I know that's so weird because it's like we were thriving yesterday and now we're thriving today. I know. I'm very good at Giglitz. Oh, please. That's a crush day.

It was so fun. My God, on a Sunday night to have so many cool, amazing audience members. Oh, very good. A lot of them are very lucky. We're fucking great. We're very lucky. I have a question. Tell me.

You are a comedy producer. Yes. In of your own right. Yes. And then you also do stand-off. Yeah, it's gross, isn't it? No, it's not, but my question is you actually, like, write new material and seem to

improve, which is not something I would do if I also enjoyed my day job. Oh, you get the motivation for both. That's so interesting. I mean, they feel connected. Good. They do feel connected. You just slipped off the table, didn't you? I'm so stressed. Helen! You were going to let it go. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. My brain even went, oh, Amy just had a mistake there. It didn't even make a sound. Like, I really nailed it in an audio capacity. but I did slip off the table like a sort of nervous child like oh god I'm here I'm trying to fit in I'm trying to fit in

because my nails I've had them painted I can make you feel better I was doing a tour show in Bristol the other day and I went to laying against the wall so I put my hand out to touch it and then I kept putting my hand out and I kept putting my hand out turns out my peripheral vision betrayed me

it was much further away and did you find it no so I almost fell and then I was like oh god did you guys see me did they were all like yeah yeah no we also you know it's actually quite a bit further away

where then you thought it was. On stage? And they were charmed? No, because my persona on stage is, shall we say, a patronising. So when I'm then... No, we were there last night. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when I'm then, like, diminish my own ego in any way. Sure, you're so high-staking. Whereas when I do that, everyone's like, make sense. I actually lost a pair of sunglasses yesterday. Full. Four.

Just going to fall over. Oh, she's shit herself. Oh, there's pretty coming out. Just pouring down my leg. I broke my sunglasses and went to the gig yesterday. So I did that thing where I got on the cheek. but I forgot to put my head in before the door's closed.

Like, you know, when you get on the tube and it's like quite busy so you're standing by the door and I was by the door and I was like looking out, looking down the platformy being like, oh, like blah blah and then I heard the beep beep

beep and I was like oh beep beep in my head like oh beep beep and then I went and my sunglasses and then I turned around like ha ha ha ha ha and there was only one woman going ha ha ha ha ha and I was like Was she also quite tall? No, actually but I think she was just sort of like

I can't let this girl laugh by herself Oh sure, kind of. Yeah, but I was glad because I managed to get it in and get stuck going through the tunnel. We're still there. Sunglasses are now like one hand, what's it called? Arm? One arm can go on and one arm is like that. So even after that you couldn't show Amy some kindness

when she did a tiny slip off the table. No kindness. Well, I think that is kindness for Helen. Oh, okay. Well, I return to my question. Oh, how do I do both? What a question. That's a modern woman.

I know. How do you have it all, Amy Annette? Thank you for asking. I do want to boast. It is quite similar. I think also, as you both know, when you're making stuff with lots of other people when you have a lot of gatekeepers, decision makers

and you're like, I love this idea, this comedy show must be made. But then they're like, we love it. Could it be set in Scotland? And you're like, well, we should probably get a Scottish person to write that show. This show is based in London. Big time. I don't know how to tell this lady that she should suddenly write.

You understand. It's awkward. There's lots of, and I have a lot of empathy for them as someone who's been in a sort of similar-ish role. You have so many fact is so many, essentially you're trying to get people to invest in your product, right? You're a young entrepreneur. It's Dragon's Den. It's Dragon's Den, but TV,

which is, of course, a TV show itself, so it's very much. Oh, is it now? Yeah, you ever seen it? No, I just thought the Dragon's Den was the beginning of Harry Potter number four when they wait for the Dragons Come out of the Den. Yes, no turfs, but the truth is. Oh no, there's in both Dragon's Den and Indy Den. Yes. Indie den.

Is that? Which one's turfy? Well, now I can't say it, because I don't know if we're going to get sued. Okay, we'll bleep it out. And actually, they will soon. Yeah, they will. So, let's just say, let's just know it. Anyway, it's going to be anywhere, but Dragon's Day. You're selling things, you're selling projects.

You're trying to get people to invest in this idea that it's like this beautiful thing you really care about. And so that, and, you know, when it works, it's wonderful. It's so exciting. You get the money. You get to make something. But then often you believe in something, it doesn't get made. Fine. That's just the nature of the game.

Yeah. But in stand-up, you have an idea. You can try it that night. Yeah. And that's what I always say about why it's the best job. Yeah. Because it's like, if whatever state I'm in, I can just deal with that live that evening. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, you shouldn't do that every night. Every night. No matter what. A little thing called therapy. Yeah. Oh, I also do that now. We talked about that on the extra.

She's just done one session. Oh, how is it? Well, this is, um, it's going back into therapy, but this is my first time doing it, not in crisis. I see. So it's really odd going into therapy being like, I don't have a fire to put out right now, but just sort of general chat. But we've only had one session.

So we did the first session, which is like the getting to know each. other. Oh yeah, the old one where you sort of like, you sort of say things. I don't know if this is important, but you know it's massively important. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, you know when you're like, do you ever have the thing where you're like, okay, I don't have a fire to put out? This is amazing. Like, look, no fires in front of me. And then the therapist is like, have you looked at them just a little bit behind you? It seems to be a, there's a smoking actually, there's actually a lot of smoke. It's actually, the house, the house is on fire. You're like, oh, God damn. No, nothing. So don't worry. They'll find a way to make their money.

Oh, yeah. They'll trick you. Why am I being like, you're in the pocket of big, of big therapy? I don't know. Big therapy. Yeah. Oh dear. I don't want to retread any ground that you've done in the extras, but what kind of therapy is it?

Is it? No, we don't know. Yeah. No, no, it's fine. It's basically like we've just done one session. I don't know the official name. I can't remember. It's definitely a more like artistic and sort of like, what does altruistic mean?

Giving. No. It's sort of like, we're trying like to like to think about. the subconscious. Holistic. Holistic. Maybe a bit holistic. It's very different

to what I've done before where I just sort of CVT talking therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was the fire putting out one. But then the first minute therapy it was like that year when I wasn't on the right

like antidepressants. Like I had the unfortunate thing of like not going on the right one like a year in a bit. Yeah. And like. That's tough. Yeah.

So it was like that was very tricky. And this one I probably should ask I shouldn't I. I'm sure it's going to be good though. I can't remember the words. But also that's such a big thing to bring up

because actually I didn't I'm quite understand how awful that was, but for a month there, I got my antidepressants, like, increased. Yeah. And it made me feel so bad. Yeah, it makes you feel worse, for sure. Like, all the things that you're on it for.

But not just, like, like, the worst I think I've ever felt out of nowhere. It was just, like, it was honestly dreadful. And I was like, I don't know if I can cope with this. Like, I was really finding life hard. Yeah. And I spoke to my doctor again, and I was like, I feel crazy. Like, I feel mad. And he, I don't know.

was just like okay before you come off them could you try taking them at night instead of the morning yeah made it a big difference I'm a new woman really

and I was just like oh I was really going to give up on this but actually it's helpful I'm just like saying I guess what I'm saying is correctly prescribed antidepressants much better than

incorrectly prescribed and you should and you should feedback constantly 100% that's the thing I think I left it so long to go antidepressants

that by the time I was on them I wasn't a very good advocate for myself so I was like Like we were on the wrong. So I started on satalopram and got on them still really miserable. But instead of me being like they don't feel right, so I never done them before, we'd then double the dosage.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went to 20, then we went to 30. Then we went to 40. But each time we were of dosage, we've got to stay on it for six weeks, see if it has a hit. So then that was like, I don't know, like how many months, sort of like going through that. And then you've got to come off them to then start. We went on to Venlovoxine.

And then we've got to go up to the highest prescription of that. But it wasn't working. but I didn't know if I was just not doing well, or if they weren't working. And also we don't have a lot of... Hello. She's a happy baby.

She's into that. She's a very happy hippo. She's a very happy hippo all of a sudden. And you look at it. You're glowing. But I do think it's important to have these conversations because I remember when I first started thinking about going one, I was like,

I got a few friends on them, but I don't know the specifics. Like I think in America they're much more, obviously they're much more medicated. They talk about it a lot more. But they just have a much better casual understanding of what it means to be on a drug and how it might affect you

whereas I agree the first time I went on it I was like oh well I am a piece of shit right I knew I was and this drug has only made it more clear yeah if it's the wrong drug for me or am I just the wrong person and it's so and then because like you're really low particularly when you're on the wrong antidepressant it's so hard to

advocate for yourself and go I think you've picked the wrong one for me whereas like I know more about the birth control pill which I obviously am not on anymore because like many learn anything you're like oh shit You're like, I want to have my own personality, please. Yeah. But for a long time, I remember all my pals suddenly knew everything there was to know about the various different ones.

You know, obviously because we were young women in the naughties. It was all about how much weight gain you had. But, you know, at least we were talking about it. At least we were shamed. We were discussing. We were fucking disgusting. We were saying, like, my belly is bloated, not I feel crazy. But that's okay.

Yep. That's the first steps. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my God, you really fit in here. What a joy. By the way, we've never had a guest before who's brought their own talking points in case. we've run out of things to say. I mean, I know you both quite well.

I genuinely find it offensive, though. Me too. I'm so offended. But also in the evening. You said it's feminism facts, and I genuinely believe I do need to learn more about feminism. Oh, everyone agrees. Yeah.

Okay, Catherine. Oh, everyone agrees. Ask me anything about feminism, and I'll give him my best shot to answer. Okay, what's the difference between the second? Germaine Greer. No. Next question.

You must say second way. I'll say the difference between the second and third wave and actually, she kind of nailed it. She kind of nailed it. I cannot believe that worked out for me. They're really fucking dead. It really, one more question. Oh, what's the difference between Jermaine Greer?

Body hair. And Judith Bosn-Botler, you're kind of right. Oh, my God. Can all feminism just be distilled? Let's send the podcast and burn our bros. No, you got them for free. Don't burn, haven't we? Oh, yeah, you're right.

Not this one. This one's from Sweden. Not a night-time one. Thank you. But, no, you're so interesting. Can all feminism be, like, drilled down to Jermaine Greer and body hair? Yeah. that now.

I mean, maybe it can. So much you tell you to tell you to further. Can you teach me something else? These are not really facts about feminism, insomuch as they are depressing facts about women. And you brought them here because you think we seem too happy? No, I don't know what happened. I guess I'm just an, I'm an over preparer.

Okay, here's what it is. Okay, I'm an over preparer slash I had this notebook in my back and I realized it on the way here. So I don't want you to think that I was like, the two most talkative people I've ever met in my life will ever run out of anything to say. Not the two most talkable people. I listened to your podcast with Amy Gladhill, who might be one of the funniest

women in the world. She's so funny. And a full stop, the funniest woman in the world. So funny. And at one point, she told you to be quiet. It made me laugh so much. But I was just like, I was like, I was prepared. I was like, if I don't get to say anything, I'll go one fact out.

Oh, no. Oh, I hate that. We're trash. We need to work on a bell. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to read you to fill. I've read you to Phil than I didn't mean to. No, we're trash.

No, you're gorgeous. hosts you came here thinking that there's a chance you wouldn't get to say anything so if you were going to get to say one thing yeah it would be it best be important i need to get this message out to the world that's horrible katherine we're going to be silent okay amy no no way too much mary amy forget the facts how are you oh my god thank you for asking i'm fine uh i felt mad this morning and i had some coffee and then i thought okay i still feel mad so then i had some more coffee and then on the way here i thought still feeling a little crazy so i thought you're not I was going to sell that, this coffee right here.

Oh my God. So actually, I do need you to be filling the silence because my body is processing a huge amount of caffeine. So really quickly, not to be the person like victim blames. That says double shot. Oh my God. Amy. To espresso. Have you had any water?

No. You're a fucking moron. I'm not in control of my life. I don't know that. You say I have many jobs. Yes. Amy's not wearing any trousers. I'm not wearing trousers.

I'm not wearing these pants for two days. You've got to drink some water. What color is your pee? Baraka colors. It's the color of the snow thing. Oh my God. That's not bad, actually. No, it is bad.

I've got orange before. You've got orange. I've gone dark orange. No. Green. Guys, stop it. I once urinated, and it smelled like 20 guys have been peeing on my toilet for about five years. The urine smell was insane from my tiny baby urethra.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. You just think, where did that come from? Where did that send? a diagnosis of diabetes because for a while I was like why does it smell so sweet? Oh my God. I once did a shit that was literally like oil coming out

of me. Stop it, Helen, no stop it. I'm not looking like hot oil. I looked it up and it was that my body had had so many fatty foods for a good period of time. It has to process it out. Your liver could cook. My body just went, we can't actually deal with the soil so we're just going to send it all out of the back passage. God bless your bod. God bless my bod. I gave birth to an oil bug. I once went to a house

party with it for some, I think it was Halloween. They put food coloring in the dye. But no one realized that it would make their pee black for a week people went to hospital they didn't realize they didn't realize it was terrible guys that was honestly

horrific and I hate this every second Amy you seem really wise and sage do you want to give us one of your depressing facts and then we'll solve a problem yeah it's actually a quiz

oh my god I love a quiz I mean no one's not just Catherine does you're just surprised us with a quiz I'm surprising you with a little quiche. One second. Do you want to explain how you're going to act during this or do you want just to go for it? Andrew was in ribbons

after the patron episode. The issue with Andrew was that he tried to give us a quiz whilst simultaneously changing the rules and the parameters of the question. I've met Andrew. He said it up. He's a cagey boy.

No, he didn't. The stuff was changing. I don't mind if you ask me a question but as long as the rules that you've said in place apply their arms. She wants to know she's got a buzzer sound and she wants to know with it. I just don't want a fucking soft touch

who's like, oh well, Helen's loose. who's actually going to have a point. Oh, yeah, disgusting. Yeah, come on. And also, it's good to have feedback before I do the quiz because I can incorporate this. Right?

Right. Imagine if I done it the other way around. We're ready. Okay, a bit of fun. So, in check. She didn't set out the parameters. That's exactly what you said. Well, one might be...

Do we buzz in or are you asking one of us each? I'm sorry, I've taken... Oh, I guess that's true. Wow. Sorry, no, no, no. Oh, my God. You know so many words. And now, you know, you know,

care about rules. Who are you? She's keeping your plan for line. I will, don't you look at the answers. Oh my gosh. Germain Greer. Body hair. I will let you both answer.

And then I'll tell you which one is right. Okay. You can both say the same answer if you like. Wonderful. Okay. Okay. In check. I've got to do my question voice.

My Susie Dent voice. I love it. In check. She's a cute. Isn't she? No. I liked it. She's kind of cute.

I'm losing confidence in this impression. No, you got it. Oh my God. named her up. I know, named her up. She'll pass me. She'll pass me.

No, that's not me in her. Okay. In check is the term for unmarried women under the age of 25, A. Leftovers.

B. Old Virgin. C. Over the calendar, e.g. Over 30. Or D. Christmas cakes.

Because after the 25th, no one wants to eat them. I know this. Oh, do you? Go on, Helen. Do you? Oh, interesting. Let her tell us why.

Please. No! No! No, I understand now why you just said that. In Japan, it's Christmas cake. And I know that, because you said it on stage, and I was listening. Okay, amazing. In Czech. I am going to say, leftovers, because it's the only one of the options.

I remember, beep, beep. Good answer. Okay. The Czech don't seem so conservative or sexist that they would still be saying some of these. 30 feels like the modern answer. So you want to say over the calendar.

Yeah. E.G. You're both wrong. No, I want, want, won't. No, my bit is. It's Old Virgin. Jesus. Now, obviously, this is like a sort of an aphorism and idiom,

so it translates into Old Virgin. But don't worry, guys. The other answers are other countries. Yay! Leftovers is China. Shout to China. Christmas cakes after the 25th, Northern Eastern, Japan, as he said.

And over the calendar, e.g. over 30, the Philippines. Oh, look at them. I've been to the Philippines too, and I still didn't know that. Fascinating. So you're still sexual to them. God bless. Wow. But of course, we have like spinster.

You know, we have our own versions of this. Most countries do. That's so true. We're all to blame. And I also love the phrase spinster. Me too. It's just great, isn't it? There's a queer night.

There's a queer night in Dublin called spinster. And I just think that's such a great night. Great word. Okay. Now, what is the... No, I'll end with that one because it's depressing and fun. A.A. feminist comedy. In the UK, what year did banks start letting women get bank accounts without their husband's approval? Oh, my God.

I know this one. It was after the First World War because no one... or the men had died and the women needed their own bank accounts. So 19, I'm going to say. So, so wrong, but so well argued. Oh, God. Can I guess? Yes, please. I'm going to guess that it was much more...

You can go decayed, if you like. Well, you can do it too. You did it. 1940. Okay. Still wrong. 50. Wrong war now.

60. I'd have said... Yeah, I'd have said it was closer to the 60s or 70s. I'm going to say... 70s? It is 70s. Yeah! It was 1975.

Fucking hell. Get your own bank account. Get your own bank account without your husband having to sign to... true it to be proved. How about if you didn't have a husband? Oh my God. How about if you didn't have a husband? You had a better life.

But no banking. But I think weekly you could get a banking out once you were married. Oh shit. Also, I don't have the exact date. So I won't put this as part of the quiz, of course, which we're mocking as we go. But it's like in the 90s that women's tax,

when if you were married and you had a job, your tax automatically was submitted with your husband. But if you weren't married, you could just spit it on your own. Don't get married. Madness, isn't that. Okay, final cue. This is my one chance to at least draw. This is the redemption round. Okay.

Who is the oldest of the Disney princesses? This is my question. A, Cinderella, B, Snow White, or C, Aurora, aka A. Sleeping Beauty. One moment. Are we referring to Schneevechen and like the original princesses in the Grims? Or are we referring to Disney and Disney? Sorry, no, we are in the Walt Disney universe here. Okay. Options again, please.

Okay, thank you. Who of these Disney princesses is the oldest? I believe it was Prince I. Prince I. No, because it comes from the Greek, so it's Princesses. You're a fucking cunt. It goes A, Cinderella, B, Snow White, C, Aurora. Helen.

Snow White was 13. Aurora, it was her 16th birthday. that was taking her into the city being taken by Flora Fauna and Meriwether that she would have been 15 for the first section of the film 16 for the second section of the film

Cinderella Ashputtel in the original language obviously My answer is Cinderella One moment, one moment please I also believe Cinderella You're both correct

Yes! Right when they're No, but like, because I staged you there, because I stayed you there. Winner of the quiz. I win the quiz. But incredible Disney Orange. Redemption round. Absolutely redemption round for Helen Bauer.

Do you know that I'm like an adult Disney fan, like beyond at a Disney fan? I do not. 13. Yeah, I'm obsessed of adult Disney fan. Snow White was 13. She's a baby. Literally a baby. Cinderella 19.

Oh, wow. Good to know. Of age. So that's a good one if you're going to choose your faith. Yeah, Snow White. I have her is 14, but I can accept 13. That was an excellent. Excellent clear.

And this is the kind of feminist comedy that I love to bring. We're not laughing. We're Furious. I can't believe. Oh my God. I was nearly so smart. And I feel like I'm just smart. No, you did good. You were very impressive.

Can I have another Disney question, please? I don't have them anymore. Amy, that was so good. Rang applause for Amy who brought her own entertainment. Thank you. That's a gal who didn't have friends in school. Can I ask you both a question now? Can I ask you both a question now?

Yes, please. We have to solve a problem. Go on. Okay. No, go on. What's my current bra size? J. 38J. Both correct.

There be more free bras, please. I'd love a free bra. Oh, yes. All of us. Oh, don't waste your bras on me. No, no. I can guess if you're happy. I'll shake.

No, no, she doesn't. If you don't mind you touching. Oh, you haven't asked. Oh, incredible. No, I, I sat up straight, which is the international sign for, touch my person. Yeah? Yeah, and you're a 38 too.

You're a 38G. Yes, I am. Oh my God, she's so good at it. How does she do it every time? That's my one skill. You should work in a bar shop. I'm sorry, your career is going well, but you've got to take this talent. Isn't that amazing?

We've done three guests so far. I've got them all right. Really? You can do it with everyone. This is the thing. I have to fund off. There's no, I can look and get vaguely shows. Sure, sure.

Because yours is really, you've got the heft under. Yeah. You've got a like. And I'm not where. not wearing an underwear today. No, but this is a bra that... She's never once asked to do me. Your breasts are wonderfully, like, out.

God bless. So, like, you've got to go under. But, yeah, thank you very much. Enjoy. And that is the real redemption round. Let me know if you need a resizing ever. Yeah. Do not...

Just squeeze randomly. Jesus. We've been here before. We've been here before. You have. Congratulations. Thank you. You're any to solve a problem of a listener?

I would love to. Please. Em, tell us. What a great guest. We've never had a quiz brought to us before. That was thrilling. It's because I'm an exact van diagram between your two energies. and I won't need to realize that.

Don't make out you're not more of me than you are, Catherine. Do not try a me. I knew what outro is meant. Okay. And the level of organisation. Yeah, come on. Handwritten quiz. Don't mind if we do.

Got here on time. Have you seen her nails? They're perfect and they match your shirt. Thank you. Come on. Thank you. Come on. All right.

And we're ready. They're quite chipped. Hi, guys. I'm not sure if this would be a suitable question to ask Catherine and Helen on the show. It's a bit lighthearted. But the last episode really got me thinking about something that happened a few years ago. Oh. March 2019, me and my fiancé

having a few nights down in London for a concert and West End show, The Lion King. Fucking thick! On our last night, we were staying in the travel lodge in Wembley. On entering, we noticed the place had a strange vibe, which I assumed had been caused by the building soaking up to disappointment of England fans staying over there over the years.

Gorgeous. Nevertheless, we checked in and decided to have a nice cup of tea. I picked up the kettle and noticed a semi-dried brown patch of water underneath. No, what? No. I put kettle to the sink and tipped up the kettle to the sink and tipped it up and some brown liquid poured out really good wash in the sink

but couldn't get rid of the brown stuff. Needless to say we decided against having a cupper and instead I ventured out for a takeaway. You didn't go to reception and complain? Apparently not. A bit later on we had a nice bath each to brush our teeth. Thank you for saying each. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. We checked out the next morning and left for home but for the past three years I've always wondered what that brown liquid was and then I listened to episode 26 of Trusty Hogs where Helen mentioned the story of the dead body in the hotel water tank. Yeah.

This leaves me with two questions for you guys. Did we potentially bathe and brush our teeth in dead body water? And should I phone the travel lodge and advise them to check their water tank in case? Whoa. Amazing. Whoa. Also, what a Catherine energy to hold on to one stain for three years. Excuse me.

First of all, yes, that part. But nothing else about that was Catherine Energy, because the first thing that would have happened if I'd gotten there would have been a call to reception to tell them that my room was filthy. I need a different room and a brand new kettle I'd like if we see it take it out of the box please

and there's no fucking way to have it bathed in the same situation if anything like anything does resemble and you bring your own sheets of course it's a travel lot yeah you don't travel with sheets

Catherine pillowcases just a pillowcase right more therapy more therapy please that's fucking bad I don't think that's crazy a pillowcase isn't crazy I bring one pillowcase

it's so small smaller than a pant yeah Trouser. Trouser. You have not seen my band. I bring a pillowcase. Just a pillowcase. Just in case.

A little pillowcase. I should do that when I got a pink eye in Lester. What's the name of that terrifying hotel where they found the lady in the water tank? In L.A. What? The, oh, yes, documentary of it on Netflix. And I cannot remember it now. Yeah, they found women in water.

But it's actually very common. If you drink out of the... No, stop it. No. Well, David Odorty has material about realizing that he had dead mice in water tank because they were de-hote. As he showered in the... You have to wrecked your water tank.

Brush his tea. And I've stayed over his place, but disgusting. Non-sexual, non-sexual should clarify. As a friend, I was travelling in Dublin. But do brush your teeth with bottled water in hotels, is what I've... No, you're fine. It's good bacteria. It's just a bit of body.

It's just a bit of body. The estimation is that she's wondering whether or not there was body part. My first thought was obviously poo. Can I know? It wasn't for me. Can I make a couple of assumptions here? This person does not live around hard. water.

There we go. I've put it out there. They've come from a soft water area. People do not fully understand kettle lime scale. Limescale's not brown. No, no, no. When it's left there and unused, it rust.

Yeah, that's also true. It does. Okay, but the other thing to say is it didn't seem like if you had a bath, two baths in fact and nothing murky came out of that, it's probably fine. It's kettle. It's kettle rust.

And when in doubt, taste it. No, what? No. When in doubt, no. No. You pop your fingee, you lick your fingee, pop bingy in and lick Fingy again.

It's not my dad would do it. It doesn't matter how it gets in your mouth. Don't put it in your mouth. I agree. Oh, you know what? The best I'd test anything. Pop it in your mouth. No.

Not sure if he's a right guy for you. Pop it in your mouth. You'll know within a minute. Helen. No. That's so wrong. I'm telling, honestly, I'm not trying to like make this better. As someone who does stay, we obviously all stay a lot of hotels.

And I complain to reception a lot of a day. I obviously like, it's not ideal to drink rust. But in general, in hard water areas that London is very hard water. And I know this, my dad works in sewage. Oh. Okay. Yeah, but that's why you could. They should have gotten a new one from reception.

That's why you should know, don't taste it. You could have asked for any one from reception. But also, I'd say rust, have a little taste. It'll probably taste like a period, very irony. And I think that's just sort of like, oh. And remember the rules? Germain Greer. Germain Greer.

Everyone should taste their own blood. And I have. You know what it tasted of? Blood. Nothing exciting. Wow. Very disappointed a little 12 year old talent. But I think she assumed it would taste like blood.

But the blood tasted, what, a rusty kettle? Yeah, well, my blood is very, like, pennyish. Like that smell of like when you've had like coins in your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate you. Catherine's really upset. I just at my core. Do you want to talk about face masks and candles?

I'd like to talk about people having assertive enough personalities to go down and say there's some skank on my kettle. Yeah, you should have. This is my favourite problem we've ever had. I love this person. The thing I say is I did see a Instagram vid because I'm online where someone was making tea and he put the tea bag in the kettle. He filled the kettle, put the tea bag in the kettle. He was American, of course, flicked it and then like, poor, and this was like a, like the music was like, bah, ba, bah, havin a good day. Like it wasn't like, I'm a crazy person. Oh my God, it was not doing that. That sounds amazing.

It wasn't, it was like, day in the life making my tea, you know, and then I was like, but you put it in the kettle. What are you doing? So it could be that someone made their tea in the kettle itself. Also, George Egg, another comedian. Oh, maybe he was that. He does a lot of stuff where he can make like a full meal in a hotel room using the corby trouser press to do eggs so I'm just saying we don't know what people do when they're alone in their hotel rooms it could be as benign as

making a cup of tea in the kettle but he could also be you know making some sort of like oxo soup situation and I'm crazy for bringing my own pillow I'm crazy how good does that kettle truck sound with a tea bag? I can't look out of which well because but you're to your point quite um because it goes through

a filter at the top right to get rid of the lime scale So you'd be very limescaly. That's true. Also, I used to love like making a pot of tea but with the milk in it. So then I would just pour out a pre-made tea.

You've just made your producer cry. I hope you have happened with that. Oh, she's always crying. She finds us very obsessing to work on. She doesn't enjoy this job, actually. Wait, I am. You put milk in the teapot with the tea. I did when I owned a teapot

and then I think I dropped it. But it was like... Go on. Oh, you're upset again. No, I was just going to tell you that my granddad used to keep old big butter boxes, you know, that you'd get like huge portions of butter in. I know where butter comes from. Like massive butter tubs. Thank you, thank you.

And he would use them for his cereal because he couldn't fit enough cereal in a bowl, given how much he wanted. Shout out. And then he would put loads of sugar over his corn flakes. Yeah. And then he would pour on pre-made tea. What? And is that grandfather still with us? No.

But he lived to like, no. 92. The maliki or hot tea. Hot tea and milk went into the cornflake. You know, it sounds insane, but then you hear about people making like butter coffee. You know, like actually. My friend Barbara does that.

Yeah, people love it. It's just put butter in your coffee. What? It's called Bulletproof coffee. And she, like, she's my friend's mom, but me and Barbara used to work in a cafe together. And you go for coffee with Barbara, she takes like a spoonful of butter.

Yeah, it's very chic, very New York. But, I mean, it sounds like, it sounds like a diarrhea attack to me. But God bless her. But I think I seek out diarrhea attacks. Sure. That's how you know you're living. But what does that achieve?

Empty. Wait a lady. Apparently it tastes nice. Apparently tastes really nice. But you know, and also we drink the coffee that comes from the cat poo. Excuse me? Very famous type of coffee is coming. I think I'm going to say it's Egyptian.

I actually don't know. It comes from a specific type of cat that has Emma's nodding. Yes. Comes from a type of cat and then they make the poo into a coffee. and that's a delicacy. I don't drink. No, one in the world. I would love to try.

The world of the community. No, thank you. Yes, we do. Let's try it. So what I'm trying to say is, you know, I think that does sound insane to me putting tea in your cereal, but maybe if it was done in a sort of bougie way

with a sort of paper menu, I'd be like, yes, please. Yeah. You know? That's the thing. It's marketing. I could sell you anything. Yeah, you could. Shreddies, I'm thinking, very absorbent.

Get real hit. It's caffeine as well as you eat your brecky. No bad thing. Wow. I thought you'd be horrified. And he put so much sugar in. But seriously, the kettle, not a big deal. My favourite problem, ever, because I've actually been able to solve this one.

Taste it, move on. No, don't taste it. That's not our advice. That's my advice, though. And I am I in my own person. Her question was, was it a dead body? No. I don't think so.

Not at a travel lodge. No one's getting murdered and hidden well at a travel lodge. You get murdered at a travel lodge. You're being found by the maid within two hours. Yeah, that's actually solid. That's probably fair. Also, I think the one specifically at Wembley, people are too drunk to murder

do you think just in general I don't think anybody hangs there sober no that's true I just don't think yeah that's not where your body's gonna be not at that hotel but you wouldn't go to the kettle no and I just think like

bodies have a very specific smell but do work on yourself and your own assertiveness and when things like that when you find mystery liquids in your hotel room feel free to say I deserve better

Yeah, okay, well, Catherine's asking you to do something but let's just praise you really quickly for looking in first place. And also, I hope you enjoyed The Lion King. What a great show. The Lion King. What a great show. The only monarchy I believe in. All right.

I just can't wait for my dad to die. That's the song. I just can't wait for my dad. I thought it was a segue. I was having a bit of fun. Thank you, Amy and I. Thank you, Annette. What a great guy you are.

Thank you so much for coming. You speak French. You bring your own quizzes Thank you You're a bit of both of us Yes Equally disapproving of either Truly

Just a great lady Thank you so much for coming It's been watery I mean I can't believe I've seen this online So many times I've heard it in my ears So many times

And now here I am Looking right down the lens You're having a great time What you guys don't know Is Em always produces this naked So it's just It's such a different experience When you're here

That's the one bit you can see A real treat But 50 pounds on Patreon I know No, it could be like 60. Okay. Amy Annette, please tell us. Where can people find you?

Where could they see you? What should they look out for? Oh, wow. That's such a lovely question. And I'm prepared with my answer. Because at the beginning, Catherine said, do you have anything to promote? And I said, no.

And then she told me three or four things I should be talking about. And that's the Helen and me. And I'm going to say there right now. I remember them. You have a wonderful monthly gig. Called the Dog Park. As a Bill Murray.

Tell us a little bit about that, would you? Oh, it's a great game. It's at the dog park. Sorry, it's at Bill. Murray, as you say. I shouldn't have said it. You said it so well. It's the next one is on the 8th of May. And then there's one in June and one in July dates TBC. Great. Look out. Get online. On the 8th of May is going to be Tom Allen, Charlie George and Rosie Jones, a friend of the show. And it's like Rosie Jones.

Yes, of the two, of the duo. And it's really, really jolly fun. Oh my God. Tessa Coates and I do it together. Yes, please. It's new material. It's just, it's great stuff. I have a slightly dormant but you know still listenable podcast called What Women Wanted. It's really good. And what women want is more of What Women Want Yes, two guests here today I don't think my episode ever came out

So I have a lot in the queue What? I love to say two guys Me and Rosie Jones went on it together Yeah, it was jolly and like Amy was like Oh yeah we'll figure out how to release that one edit it. It's been about four years It was just so much fun It was so much fun

I don't know but there was a lot of lot of like touching. Subscribe and you'll get there. Maybe it'll be a Patriorn only. And what else am I doing? Yeah, check me out online, as you say. Yeah, if you follow Trustee Hogs, which you should be, follow Catherine Boehart, follow Helen Bauer, moi.

We. Moi or C. Well, Amy Annette on Instagram and everything. Yeah, go ahead. Come see my diary of a sweaty girl new content series. I'm just really helping the sweaty girls be free. You really are. It's great. It's great.

Anyone that struggles will witness, everywhere apart from puss-puss, then 100% check it out. Unless you do push-were. Did she rule it out? Well, I guess we could do like what I would call a fanny sweat, but I wouldn't do like moisteness due to sexual excitement. Doing an Instagram live, I'd love to know about the specifics between where it becomes like what point is it discharge and what point is it sweat.

Like I've definitely been fascinated. Oh, that's so interesting is discharge the ultimate sweat. I mean, this would be the worst nightmare for you. Yeah, I hate this. For Catherine, but of course. And why is it sometime brown? Oh, no. Thank you, Amy again.

Oh, God. Thank you. Thank you.