Trusty Hogs - Ep45. RHYS NICHOLSON / Gifts, Granite & Gynaecology

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

Superstar Drag Race Down Under judge & brilliant comedian Rhys Nicholson joins us from the Edinburgh Fringe for the first ever Hogs on tour...As seen on Netflix!Follow Rhys: @RhysNicholson*SEE US IN EDINBURGH*Thank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Kierah Leach / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes  / Sarah & Molly  / Alex Pugh / Josie W / AmyWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello and welcome to episode 45 of Trustee Hogs. We are coming to you from the Edinburgh Fringe. Helen's in a grump because I clapped for the camera before she got to. It's not fair. It's like when you're standing at a traffic light and you're like, it's my turn to press the button. You clapped last time. Yeah, but I'm a good clapper.

What was wrong with my clap? No, it was really good. Thank you. Welcome to episode 45 of. trusty hogs. My name's Helen Bauer. This is Catherine Boehart. We're going to talk about our amazing lives, how we thrive, how we move, how we travel, how we live. And then we're going to solve your problems with our amazing guest, Rhys Nicholson. Through the fog, step for the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems

and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Catherine And the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not My gosh, Rees is so cool They're a judge on Drag Race Down Under They were in Montreal when I was in Montreal

So we'll wait to talk about Montreal with them Although, Helen You've got a gift for me Well obviously because you did what? I asked you for a gift And then text me several times making sure I'd gotten you a goof. Well, I don't want to like, that, right, come on, let's be reasonable here. Okay, here's what I know about you, Helen, is that, um, first of all, you've done because I know who likes magnets.

Second of all, I haven't spoken to you about your trips away, you actually do more cultural stuff than I expected. Thank you. So I brought you two fundamental pieces of Canadian culture. Oh my God. Okay, go. The first is in magnet form. As you all, have always made the effort for Andrew and I to buy what I can describe as the ugliest fridge magnets I've ever seen. Andrew likes them. I endeavored to do the same for you. Oh my God, I love it! Oh my God! Okay, it's a fridge magnet of a hockey player, an ice hockey player,

and it says, Canada. Isn't it hideous? Oh, my God, I love it. I'll put it on my Instagram. Hold on that camera. I don't know if they can see. Oh, this one up here. Okay.

But I'll put it on my Instagram. It's so beautiful. Oh, my God. So, Neil's going to, oh, my God, $7.99. Can you tell me how much that is in pounds? Seven Canadian dollars 99, just so I know. Oh, and it's so. proper Canadian because it's made in China. Yay!

Five pounds 13. Five pounds 13, not bad. I actually bought you something else as well. These I saw in the airport and I was like, I can't knock at them. They are Canadian moose droppings. They're chocolate covered almonds, but they're called Canadian moose droppings. I thought they were so funny.

Do you like? Oh my God. I mean, I don't know. I assume yes. There's no way I won't like this. They're funny, right? And it's like, Yeah, the bit is that they're poo. Oh my God, that's so funny. Do you remember that thing that was like going around at Christmas time for like a couple of years where you'd get like a reindeer and you pushed it down and a jelly bean popped out of his ass? And it was like a little brown jelly bean. All the cool kids had it.

Brown jelly beans? Is there a brown jelly bean? It was when chocolate was like having a boom. Do you remember when like Woolworth's was selling rest in peace when Woolworth's the shop was selling a thing called chocolate moose and it was a cuddly toy of a. a moose that smelled like chocolate. Emma Black had one. It was amazing. Oh, wow.

I did not know that. Oh, my God. Are they okay? No, no, you keep them. They're really good. You promise? How much were they? None of your business.

Jesus. Oh, my God. And it's actually from Canada. Yeah. And it's in French. Yeah. Amanda's a chocolate. Oli.

Beautiful. You're happy. I'm really happy. I love them both. That was so easy. I was so glad. Okay. Good.

This is amazing. Happy Canada Day to you. Is it today? No. Oh, right. That would be amazing. Although I don't fucking know. Probably not.

Catherine, I love it so much. I do good. I can't wait for us to talk about your Montreal experience of race. It was something. But I'm proud of you for doing it. Yes. Thank you. Anyone who follows Catherine on Twitter and Instagram knows Catherine had a rocky ride.

Did she lean into the drama and enjoy it on some level? I think yes. Oh, my God. You're not wrong. As a friend, was I said. supportive a bit you sent me those memes there we go oh yeah he sent you cute little animals yeah yeah yeah which was almost as good as talking to me it's the only thing that can help the situation is did you want to talk to me or did you want that little fat seal I liked the

seal yeah let's give it a seal of approval we're gonna hate you you loved that look at I liked it fine. It was fine. Oh my God. Because I want to go to Canada one year. I hope you will. You will. I hope I get to go.

You will. But then I want to go with you. I'd like that too. Because then you can show me around. Yeah. And I can get us a table at the exterior. And I can get us a table at the interior. Okay.

Is that a table inside or outside? Yeah. Yes. I learned so much friends. I learned so much friends. Beautifully so. Yeah, stunning. I think it's all right.

My French is like, I can do the whole like, bonjour, sa va, it's all right, I can do the, I wouldre, and I can do the national anthem. I can't see what else you'd need. I lose, off. No, no, no, no, he's doing it. Don't he's doing it.

I'm genuinely impressed. Is that correct? Yeah, Treviour wasn't. I might have made it up. It's definitely worth checking. We'll take it. We'll take it. Thank you.

Come on. Merci. Oh, Trebien. Trébien. Oh, look at you, so much. Actually, I'm surprising myself right now. Yeah, very good at French. Now let's do Urdu.

Mostum at Jahanahana. What? Hey. Why do you know Urdu? Because when I worked and accessorize when I was like 18. That's not a logical conclusion. Because when I worked and exacerbized when I was 18 on Oxford Street, and one of my best friends there was the security guard called Nourman.

and he taught me Urdu Ha Wow Which means yes Okay, wow Fascinate Are you sure? Are you sure it means yes

Or it's just not something men say When you speak No, it's right, it's right He taught me it was really sweet Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It means okay Okay

If you say so I mean I don't know Helen I'm just feeling very smart right now Well you have a massive revelation That we're saving for the patrons But honestly I'm so excited to ask about it a day We have to resist the urge

So instead I'm going to tell you that I've begun training for a half marathon. I know you hate this chest. No, I'm actually here for it. I know you'll hate. Okay, fine. You and Chloe pets. Myself and Chloe pets. Honestly, I agreed to it ages ago when I was running more often and when frankly I felt better about my life choices. And I was like, yes, I can do this.

And then Chloe has given me no wiggle room to get out of it, by the way. Like, it's absolutely fully in. Yeah. Runs all the time. And so I went for my first like training run with them. We're going to do a long. one every week here in Edinburgh and um bloody hell i was it's so annoying because i used to be a much better runner and i'll pick it up again it won't take long but fucking hell i hate hate hate hate being the

worst at something and i really was just like trodling along behind them but you're like and their legs are a lot longer than mine it's important to stress yeah but there's also more to lift well because they're taller yeah yeah so whenever some goes like oh it's really hard to walk with you because you you take longer steps and it's like yeah but i'm lifting a lot more than you are so it all balances out in the end. Okay, fine. I was just slower than Chloe Pets and I didn't like it. You're not very fit or good at running. Say it. Just say it. I'm not fit and I'm not good at running.

I mean, I ran the five miles. I'm not fit and I'm not good at running. I'm not good at running as I was but we did. You're a fucking failure! We did five miles. It was fine. Would it help for your self-esteem if I came on the run? No, it's fine. I'm just so hay fever as well. I'm so loud as well. I'm behind like I got to a gig at Edinburgh last night The Best of the Fest and the Mound And I was like walking there

And I was like fucking sweaty already Just so hot just come out of the show This entire city seems to go uphill, it's insane And I arrived to the venue and the show had already started I was still on time Yeah Yeah yeah But whatever

And I got there and I was like Where is it? And I was like don't you fucking tell me it's up those steps And it was this lovely 18 year old girl It was like You've just got to go up You um you do have to go up

and you could tell she was like looking at my body for a mobility issue trying to figure out whether she needed to get someone to help me and I was like

look I smoke I'm obese I've just had a cab like you can't do this to me I like how you lean on the O of Obes I've never heard of pronounce that way

Obes Obes What is it? Is obese? No it's obese No it's not obvious No it's not obvious nor is it

But I would say obese But it's just the way you say it's like obese I'm obese I'm obese I'm not a beast exactly

I'm obese could that be a thing I loved it is that what it's based off the word obese is it based off beast no no there's no there's no there's no

I think that's worth searching that would be fucking that is that's fucking wild but it's not that that would be amazing etymology of obese please Andrew coming right up

what's etymology the origin of a word it comes from the Latin a dare to eat and then ob meaning completely so to have

completely eaten abyss that's awesome I don't know that I love that she eats completely she eats completely she finished it

she did a great job I love that that's incredible that's quite good I like that oh from now I want to people say like oh do you

what word do you use to describe your body I'd be like to have completely eaten yes to have finished food she's a finisher no one can say she's not I'm a finisher I am so good at finishing stuff

I'm going to refer to you as complete yeah mind body soul mind body soul she's complete and my highest intellectual level I'll ever get to so what else can we talk about entomology is the study of intemology

is a study of intemology yeah thank you Andrew didn't want to come oh fuck off how about we all just fuck off for a second oh my god I'm listening to I know I keep recommending podcasts

on our own podcast, but I just listen to a really good podcast. What one? It's called The Baron of Botox. Here we go. Really fascinating. Who's the Baron of Botox? It's about a man who like basically started the celebrity trend of specific

facial treatments, but it's also about like a German man. No, an American man, but it's also about like I guess it's about a study of beauty where it comes from what we think of it, why we think think of it how it changes and also like whether or not plastic surgery and and acts like that are oppressive and it's really made me think I'm really enjoying it I remember reading the beauty

myth yeah and it's sort of like that sort of idea or sort of like are we being kept like it's sort of like there's so many different angles on beauty for women as far as standards go because like part of it is like is it trying to keep us like poorer because we've got so much more money we've got to put into this industry like is it like how much placebo effect do you? is it that if I have this, I will be better, I will be more confident, which is the one part that I really fully understand. So I remember even from the age of like 11 being like, if I don't have this miss sporty eye shadow, I am fucking nothing. Oh my God. And also there's like really fascinating theories. So like one was that there's like a happiness to, like there's a happiness

theory about Botox, which is that like if you've limited your facial movements to a degree, you can't make such expressively sad emotions. And so when you look in your face, at your face and it's not sullen, you tend to feel happier consequently. What? But then there was a counterpoint which was like nah, this is entirely oppressive of women's emotions, so you suppress women's emotions and consequently, consequently they're what, like...

I know, but more of that, please. Female emotions are, I'm mad, I'm sorry. I know, it's just, it's just fascinating and it really made me think about things that I hadn't thought about before, and it was just like an interesting insight. That's really interesting. I think when you said Baron of Botox, I was thinking like a German Baron.

No. And sort of like, you know, like in chitty chitty bang bang you know the the baron of the castle where the child catcher keeps all the kids in the basement i don't think i've seen that film in like a hundred years you're my little quitchy face and you're my tazoo if a person doing my Botox did that to me i'd be so happy i'll be like yes i am yes i put the needle in we're and ochoo cho cho cho i love it that's so cute yes please why doesn't my doctor do that talk to you and sing to me i'll come and sing I'll come to the procedure. Oh my God, that would be so nice.

Honestly, it was so weird. I was talking about Botox the other day. Are you holding your tiddies right now? Yeah, because, so obviously in last week's episode, before we can watch Fringe. Stop pushing them together. It's distracting. I can't listen to you. I said that I was going to be having a boiled egg in my bra.

Oh, my God. This is incredible. Every day for Fringe. I have done it. It's so disgusting. It's so disgusting. But you do what you do. You move.

But it's also meant that like, it's the, right. I'm on stage. I'm sweating. Yeah. I'm wet under my boobs. Yeah. Within like 30 minutes of the show. But I'm also like half like cooking an egg.

I did think about what you said Andrew about the parboiling. It's just too much of a risk. It's just the risk of the yolk. That's fucking gross. Why won't you think about what I said, which was clinging film? But I've had loads of weird advice from you about what I'm wearing on stage because the first day of Edinburgh, I ripped my dress at the arsehole. And like, you know, you weren't thinking that was a good move.

It was only not a purpose. What was that supposed for? What weird advice have I given you Other than like maybe Get another dress Don't just wear the same one Every night

If you don't If you don't want people To see your asshole Yeah But I want them to Okay fine It's a rip from the universe But now it works in the show

Now it does I didn't know That you already written lines for it But then we were saying like Oh like how do we get These boobs to be a bit drier And then someone suggested Botox and I was like

That is actually an option You can Botox your tits So they're not so sweaty But you're not gonna do that To keep an egg dry Why won't you just use Gling film? But I just don't think maybe this could be my new thing. Like, I'll be the egg girl.

Like, even when this show is over, I might just always walk around with an egg in my tent. No, please don't. And become the egg girl. And then my fucking venue staff at fucking Pleasant. Shout out to, like, Lorna and the crew. But after my first show there, and I bonded with them really well, right? I went to tech and I was like, guys,

I know exactly what's happening here because I was at Tech for Pleasants like in 2009. So it's like, okay, we're on the same page. We're all in love with each other. And then did my first show. show really nice crowd went really well excited to do my second show the one that you came to I loved it and they came up to me before the show and they went we've got a problem and I was like

oh here we bloody go what's happened too many people want to get in again and they said they had a discussion the night before because they thought there was a leakage in the drain so they went through the prop room and they figured out it was my back because

I had another boiled egg in there that I hadn't used you you're keeping them in I was. I was keeping one, but it's like half covered. It's okay. Helen, you're in a pack of shoes. Helen, Helen. And they were like, you can't keep a boiled egg in our menu. Helen, one, obviously, two. Are you not keeping them in the fucking fridge? Well, I mean, you eat these. You eat these. You bite into something. It's protein. You have, you must refrigerate cocked egg. Yeah, that's what they said as well. Yeah, that's weird that you thought that too. I feel sick. Why have you said that? That makes me feel nauseous. What are you thinking? So I were just thinking like, oh, I'll keep a boiled egg at the venue for, you know, when you need a boiled egg. And but then it turns out like... Those venues are notoriously hot. Yeah, really hot, really hot, yeah.

What's wrong with you? But chickens, you know, chickens live in like Africa and hot places, you know, where eggs get really hot. They're not keeping cooked boiled eggs inside of themselves. No, they're not, I suppose, are they? No, they're not. But either way, now I don't keep an egg at the venue. I actually did leave one night yesterday. No, hey!

But I think I covered it better. Why are you carrying more than the one you need? Just in cases. Just in case I don't find an egg before my show starts. I feel sick. You're disgusting. I'm not disgusting. You are.

You're disgusting. Oh, my God, no. You're disgusting. But it's just, it's only me. You're a gross, dirty girl. Other people have to use that venue and that changing room. The staff, the children who are underpaid as it is there, have to come and tell you, please not to stink out their workplace.

It's a shame because we were really getting on. And now they're like, here comes the egg girl. Before that, they'll be like, no, she was here. Like, what? It's just amazing how quickly I go from thinking I'm their favorite to being their problem. You know? Like, I was like, these guys love me. we're in a troop together

and then all of a sudden they're like, right, you smell like a drain. I'm very unhappy. Shall we bring on our guests? I think we should. I feel like I'm really upset. I don't feel well. Do you want a moose dropping?

No, I don't want a poo related food right now. Okay, let's talk about how you thrived at Montreal with Reese Nicholson. we have some new executive producers. No, we do. Thank you so much to Guy Goodman, Simon Moors, Janina Bautista, Mary Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Harke-Dacon, and Oliver Jago.

Welcome to this day. So nice of you. Oh, my God, we really are so grateful. I read the producers. I read the producers. Hey, guys, you're so good. Okay, producers, coming at you thick and fast, we're fucking grateful as sure.

Richard Bicknell, Earl, Richard Bowled, Neil Redman, Victoria Hutchinson, Emma Wilton, Karen, and David Bull, Harold Van Dyke. who came to my show, fucking, this is so weird. Tim and Dom came as well. Kira Leach in America, fair play to Kira, David Walker, Rachel R. Anthony Conway, Sadie Cashmore,

Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Joe Homes, Sarah and Molly, Alex Pugh, Josie W and Amy. Thank you all so much. You're so good to us. They're just the best. The best. If you haven't joined our producers list, get on it. What are you waiting for?

There's so many benefits. Join us, join us. Join us. Join us. Here we go. Hello, Rhys Nicholson's here. It's Rhys Nicholson with the coolest men from French Canada. Yes, because we were in Montreal together. And wasn't much more French than you were expecting?

Oh my God, they lead with the French in attitude as much as language. I don't know if you've been to Montreal, but those people are rude. Wait, so talk me through this. You arrive in Montreal, biggest gigs of your lives, super excited. excited. What? Let me just stop you there. No, is it is, isn't it?

I'm going to stop you there. First of all, I tried to arrive in Montreal. I got to the airport, was randomly allocated standby. Yeah. Then had to queue for eight hours. I didn't get on the plane. So then I queued for two hours there, didn't get on the plane. Did you not know this?

No. It's so funny. No, I did say. And no, I didn't. No, actually, in fact, whenever we were together, we were just complimenting each other's outfits. And then I, I had to wait in a cue to change my flight for six hours.

And then I got on the next flight. So I was on my feet. And then when I arrived in Canada, I'd been awake for 23 hours. And then they had forgotten my luggage. Oh, no. I would say you made that dress work very well for a full week. That one dress. It's like that episode of The Simpsons where Marge just has to redo the same thing.

And I always feel for Europeans because, I know, look, let's not talk about it. but because in Australia, we're used to everything taking a very long time to get everywhere. Whereas Europeans, as soon as they're like, and I had to wait for an hour, or like not wait, but like travel anywhere, like everywhere for us is at least three and a half hours.

So I feel, I'm very, well, do you know how big, our country is like the size of America? Yeah, you have to fly across it. It's not the size, it's like the size of Texas, isn't it? No, no, it's the size of America. Why? We just have no one there. Yeah, it's going to say,

There's just loads of it that doesn't have people. Oh, the, um, Cuberpidi. You're so close. No, but like the people that, the desert and then they've got the flies everywhere and the opal farms. They do, no, I know. I've watched an instant hotel. A pretty incredible boiled out of all Australia.

That is kind of like, yeah, yeah, the people and opals. We are, I would say we are the only people kind of, really championing opals. Something I would say the ugliest stone in the world. Yeah, not great. Have you heard of granite? Yeah, no, but that looks nice on a kitchen bench. I was going to say, you can do a candor top. Even an opal bench should be like, oh, boy.

Yeah. Okay, I'm just going to take this very personally because my dad once went on a trip. He works in sewage, and he went to visit a sewage farm in Australia. And he came back, and it was like the first time we ever brought me a gift, and it was an opal, and you think that's an ugly stone. Yeah. Wow. I stand by it.

I would say he scraped it from the bottom of the sewage place. Shout out to Michael. Thanks, Michael. I wouldn't say they were the biggest gigs of our lives because actually what you do is like perform to groups of people and you maybe there's industry in. Are they watching? Who's to say? I think it's the most stressful gigs.

It's very stressful, very stressful. But the one that I was there, the big one for my trip that I'd gone for, was the thing I was there for that they were going to film, that I picked out a cute outfit for, that we'd practice the set for, that we had to send our set in advance for. It was going to be very exciting in a roomfall of 800 people. Here we go, four minutes to go on. Reese is hosting.

And then this sound comes on and Reese starts dancing because it's like, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, who, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, wow, turns out that is the Canadian fire alarm, which are very danceable. Yeah, it's got some real traction in it. It was like a house fire, but like house music fire. Yeah, indeed, indeed. And then we were like, lull, this will be a drill, but not a great time.

You're going to unnerve the audience. And then the people who work there are like, you got to go. But you still, I think we were still even, so we're like backstage in a very nice theater. Like I think I'd literally just made a joke as well. Like, I reckon we cancel the show. Yeah.

Just like everyone, everyone always makes a little joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You walk out and you tell everyone, look, it's a real bad audience out there. I think we just cancel it. Yeah. When in fact, it was a very nice audience that we shouldn't have canceled.

But it's the banter, it's all. We're having fun. I'd have laughed. The worst part is like, Reese James was. saying, and it's so true, like, which gig have you ever done where you haven't slightly wished there would be a fire before? You know what I mean? Or, like, you had

a minor accident. But, like, talk to me about this fire, because I feel like fire is used very loosely. Oh, we start to go down the stairs and there is black water coming out from under doors as we try to get past. No, water. No, no, no, no, like, it's in. It was black water. It was black sludge. It was like, kind of, like, horror movies. Oh! Also, you can smell

the smoke, and also, and you get outside, and there are three fire brigades. Oh, my God, do people die? So I'm dead. Nobody died, chill out. But here's the thing is, do you remember what the Canadians were like outside? Soutalore. Rood? No, I don't know. No, there was like one less French and more Canadian woman who just kept making the most earnest announcements.

So like every, you remember? So like every 20 minutes she would be like, it has been a privilege to guide you through this process. Thank you so much for hanging in there. I just cannot tell you how much we value you being here, waiting for this, attempting to stick with us. And you'll be like, we're just standing on this. drinking. But you know what? It worked.

Like, I really was like, we are the real star. Yes. I was rooting for her. She kept telling us how good we all looked and all the acts were like,

you're so right. We do. My agent, bless her and your husband immediately, fiance, immediately went and bought booze. So that really helped.

Hannah was pouring out Prosecco. Kairn was handing out beers. That was, I would say though, that was a move on your agent because my cat and my agent

and Kair and my partner went into a boo shop. Like, as Australians, we just spotted a boo shop. I'm like, Well, we're not going into that show. Let's get drunk. Yeah.

We didn't look properly and just kind of got some, like, felses and beers. Your boozy agent wandersy and just picks up four bottles of Prosecco and walks out. Oh, shit. Wait, but do you know by this point the gig is 100% not happening that evening? No, but you need to understand, Helen. At this point, I'd traveled forever to get to somewhere without my case. I'd be wearing the same clothes for multiple days. I know.

You were really sad on the phone. We've been through her. We'd been through her. She was so. sad and it was so funny. Because it's like, what's going to happen? Do you know what I mean? There's nothing we can do.

You've got no clothes. We've been through hair and makeup and then the building goes on fire. I didn't really care if we were getting back in or not. I was like, give me the alcohol, please. That sounds like a book title, we've been through hair and makeup and now it's on fire is absolutely an autobiography. Oh my God. It's like one of those ones that like Posh Spice was releasing when she was in her

transitionary period. Yes. Yes. And then Jimmy Carr let me on his gig. be fair, which was nice because when I a building burned down, he was like, the British acts can come and do, and all of a sudden I was like, I'm not Irish, I'll come.

So, no, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But just the British acts. No, he, like, he didn't have space for everybody. So he's like the ones he knew on, which was very nice. That's nice. And did a gig with Neil Brennan, Tommy Tiernan, Jimmy Carr, and

fucking Mark Maron stood on the side of the state. And like, it felt like Dragon's Den. I was just like, I don't even know if the gig went Well, I'd spend the whole time being like, huh, Papa? Is that right, Papa? It was so stressful. Did you talk to people, though?

Did both of you talk to the famous people, the proper famous people, not your level famous people, the intense famous people? Yeah, though, I did a few gigs. Like, this is the weird thing about the festival, is that you end up being, because you got a run-in, like, we did a run-in set, like, where you, for your gala's and stuff like that, and, like, Pete Holmes was there? Like, like, a practice set, like a warm-up set at a different gig. Before, like, a televite, like, you know, because the gala's, I kind of, like,

they're the size of Live at the Apollo, like that type of level. And so you are, like, I did the Mark Maron Gala, and so you kind of on a weird gig backstage. And you, it's the strangest mix of people. Yeah, like Pete Holmes, and then you'll just be walking down the street. My weirdest spotting, and you see her around this festival

as well, like in Edinburgh, was like Caroline Ray. Oh, she was everywhere. She was everywhere. Aunt Hilda from... I couldn't get a lift without seeing her. I was like, oh, my God. And she said, well, because she was driving the car, but she found... Exactly like...

I meant elevator. You're so Australian. Go on. Oh, yeah, of course. Um, the... Or you're just Irish. Good. Really good.

She did, thank. That was really good. That was a lovely comeback, that. Or you're just Irish and just, yeah. I'm sorry, it's early. Don't mind her. Go on. But she sounds exactly like Caroline Ray.

You know, like you... Like, she sounds like someone doing an impression of Cala. She really does. If anyone who doesn't know Caroline Ray is, you do. she is from Sabrina the Teenage Wedge. And she's an amazing standard. She's like really good.

Really fucking good. That kind of like it's that thing. I think it used to happen a lot in the 90s where good alternative comedians would just get a job on a sitcom and that chain. And so you only like, you know, Kathy Griffin is a weird example. Or all those kind of like Spin City people. Yeah.

And so you only know them for that. But yeah, she's a really good comedian. Very good. So it was good. Could save everyone because I made a mean joke about Caroline Ray and we fixed it. Yeah, nice. And also really quickly, did you.

Did you meet her though? Did you like meet Sabrina's? Yeah, met her. And she was very nice. Nice. Oh my God. So cool. Do you know, I think the Americans are very good at being met as famous people.

And by that I mean like, there was one time we were, we were waiting to film in the smaller venue. And I was, I saw that Fortune Feimster, Feimster, Feimster, Feimster, Feimster, Feimster, Feimster, Feimster, okay, was in the next room. And so. And so was Nicole By. and I adore both like so much and in both cases I was just like fuck it when the hell am I ever going to be in a corridor with these people again yeah so I went in I just said hey sorry to interrupt I'm a big fan I'm doing the show next and I just wanted to say hello and I would never usually good for you and both of them because Americans are like if you meet a famous British person

they're like oh god sorry no sorry did I sorry did I introduce myself to you so like do you want me to take a photo of you this is crazy I'm sorry for bothering you and you like no I approached you and with Americans they're like of course you'll want to meet me yeah do you want to get a photo like I've been asked by American comedians if I want to get a photo me too and every time I'm like yes me yeah she probably do but they're just so lovely and Nicole Beyer in particular was so nice oh my God it's so nice to me I think and those are two particular people I know fortune a little bit and both both her and I don't know Nicole Byer at all but like to be they're almost like shocked that it's going so well like you know

That's mad. But not, but as in, like, they know that they're good and everything. But, you know, I think we're, also, that festival, and this is going to make me sound like such a douche, but that festival, because we're all there, we've all been picked to be there. So there is this kind of understanding of no one's shit. Yeah.

Like, so you can talk to someone, you're not going to be like, oh, are they going to try and get a gig out of me? Like, it's not like Edinburgh. Oh, my, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you looking at me? It's not like Edinburgh. Speaking of, we're at the bloody Edinburgh Festival. How's it going?

We're only one, are we four or five days in. No, don't say that. We surely have been here 10 days. Yeah. I've been here a full week. Have we been here? How many days is it? Oh God, I started on Thursday.

It's only Monday for fuck sake. But I would say there is a, like, nothing like a global health crisis to really make people want to, like, appreciate it. People are kind of really into it. Yeah, that's true. The, like, the audiences are lovely. I think the audiences are lovely. I think there's a kindness amongst the comics that started to go.

towards the end of it. Like, people are a bit more gentle with each other than I remember them being. That's fair. Well, you say that. Like, I showed up at Helen's door the other day just to give her some flowers and your entire...

Sorry, what? Thank you. That's what is. Thank you. We were, like, freaking out, like, what's Helen done? Is she sick? Like, what's Catherine doing to get out of her?

I would have thought I'd turned into a ghost or something and this was like... This is what I mean, though. My friends thought we had a fight. And she was like coming round to bring me a gift. She's not going to be the one to bring the flowers in that situation. I wouldn't fucking bring him. I'm not bringing him.

She apologises like Tracy Beaker, who I don't know if you have that reference point, but she'll come in to. I know the name. Yeah, she'll just come in and be like, sorry! Oh, yeah. And then you have to either accept her. It's from my heart. Sorry, I can tell.

No, but that's my point was going to be that her flat of comedians reacted like you did, which was like, is she dying? Why? Why are you being weird? And I was like, so we're being fragile, but are being kind to do it, but not so kind that we don't find. like actual earnestness to be disgusting well it was right okay good gossip to go around the festival though you've got like a terminal illness and everyone should come she would love that don't even

she would love it don't even if you would if you would don't think i haven't thought about that before but you have if you have a terminal illness it always goes hand in hand with extreme weight loss and i'm not willing to do the second part what of that there are other ways there are ones which ones which ones help me then secret ones there are wheelchair ones you can do wheelchair ones wheelchair ones wheelchair ones They're not terminal illnesses But imagine sticking up at like I could just see M being like Have to edit that it

No you don't Say you get diagnosed As something halfway through the fringe You know how people put up their stars Or like reviews on a poster Just popping up like Bail cancer Yeah

Or like One last time This show must close Oh my God That would so get people in You're right Oh my God I'm doing it

It's doing it? Okay, don't release as part of the episode. Oh, this part of the episode isn't being released. No, it would be amazing. Helen Bauer in Madam Goodkitt one last time, and then in brackets, bowel cancer. One last time without feeling. Oh, very good. You know what?

That would be great because I reckon they'd have to give me an extra show in the Pleasant Scrant. And you just, and you don't go and people just sit in the silence and remember you. Oh, gosh. That is so amazing. To have your added show in like a big room be your memorial service. Yes. I would smash that gig. Can I lead it?

No, no, no, no. It's my memorial service. Yeah, but I can lead the moment of silence. No, I would like, oh my God. No, I know, I know what I want. Not you. It's going to be the musical of making a murderer. One of the two musicals about making a murder that's happening at the print of the year.

This festival's fucked. I love it. I am so in love with it. Anyone can come here That's just a fact But they don't know that everywhere Don't say that Because when I like started in Germany

And then I went back once So I warm up for my first hour at Fringe And I was like I'm going to Edinburgh Fringe And the whole like crowd applauded me Like I'd like done something really good By going to French And I was like I'm in a free Fringe It is I when I would do the festival

As a younger person I would be very very down early on You see this thing And this is so toxic I would search, I would go on the fringe website and I would search in the browse show's area, the word cancelled. And then I would just scroll through the graveyard of people that had to cancel their runs before the show started.

No! Is that even an option of search? Is that a thing you can still do? You can still do that. What did that give you? I mean, I know it would give me, but what did that give you? It gave me like, well, at least I got here. Like, you know, because sometimes, because it's the most open,

he's in, because it's the most. Are you searching this right now? Unbelievable. So it's like people who like, maybe they lost a parent or maybe they ran out of money. Not so much that. I mean, sometimes the most disappointing thing is you look at it's a very famous person because they got a big job or something like, shit, this is what I came here for.

But sometimes it's like, because it is the most open festival in the world, it'll be like, you know, there's those venues that are like two miles away and anyone, and it'll be like, Susan's giving it a go. And it's just like a lady who's trying stand up for the first time and she's just gone through a divorce. Yes, Susan. About a week before finally one of her stepkids has gone, don't do this, Susan.

This is a terrible idea. We've Google mapped it, Susan. It's not even in it. It's in Glasgow, Susan. No, I'll flyer. I would go to that show. I would be so susceptible to that flyer. The saddest ones are school groups, though.

Sometimes there's like a. school group and's like, oh, the funding fell through. Oh, no. It's not bowel cancer. Imagine the whole year, great. Fucking hell. They'd sell out one, they bloody hell. Kids with it.

Jesus Christ. I hope that bit stays in, but the earlier bit gets cut out. So out of nowhere, you've just brought up bowel cancer. That would be the clip. There's no reference. Just like kids with bowel cancer. They'll sell fucking everything out, won't they? The resentment in your voice is insane.

It's like insane. Please tell us what do you do to stay sane here? What do I do? I like, I mean, there's the basic ones, like routine. Oh, do you know, this is in recent years. The boosiest thing my partner, Karen, and I do, is that we join, there's a gym called one spa, no spawn. I go there on my day off, it's so fancy.

Well, say they do, for 150 pounds, you get the whole month. Whoa. And you can go in and you, like, can you use a spa any time? Fuck, oh. $150 pounds. Fuck off. Why am I paying that for a day? Like a freaking pleb.

What am I doing? And so you got, it's like, it's like hot, got hot spa. It's got about four different thorners. All kinds of different. I don't understand it. There's so many different types of shower as well. Yeah. I get confused.

The outdoor pool bed is amazing. It's like this kind of alfresco. Don't look at me. You guys are fucking morons. I don't know. Right. Number one, you're going there. Amazing.

But then you're all fucking talking about it and telling other people about it. And soon enough, you're going to find yourself bathing with like, 200 open micas, I think you're fucking thick of shit. Hey, look. You keep whatever they need to do to get a gig. We'll be paid the name of the spa, please. We're all just comedians in the sauna. Are you now going to go beep out the name up the spa?

Yeah. I do, um, there is something. If you do see other comics there, there is this weird understanding though that no one talks. I agree. Really? Oh, 100%. It's like seeing each other at a sex on premises venue or something.

It's like no one can know. No speaking. Can I go? Yeah. Yeah, but don't talk to us. I want a fucking chat. I've got to go for my wellness. But I go for like a little run just enough to deal with the crepes that I eat at night.

Yeah, sure. Go for a steam. And like it sounds so bougie, but it's just. No, I think it's great. I think when you get to a point that you can afford that, you should take care of yourself. Of course. That's good. I just feel better because there's a millet.

Like people, there's so many light shows. Yeah. Yeah, that's all right. Do you what you got to do? It's similar. I'm doing a fruble day. Do you know what they are? It's like a yogurt.

Oh, yeah. It comes in like a. You might know it as a yo-to-go, like the kangaroo couch. Yeah. So it's like... Primary school people have. Yeah. Yeah.

And adults. And then you basically put your finger at anybody. You just go, like, fucking yogurt. Like, it's like spunk. And then you do catch it in your mouth. I'm doing one of those every day and it's been fucking amazing. Okay. Yeah.

But similar is what I'm saying. I'm just saying, like, I understand. So you're very horny. Ah. Oh, all right. I just like, um, yeah. And it's got a nice. strawberry aftertaste.

Oh, like, okay. I'm just, I thought we were asking everyone what they were doing to stay sane at French. Yep, yeah. So on that. What are you doing? Oh, I'm doing a thing a day. I'm doing this thing called a hashtag mental fringe where I try to do something. Oh, yeah, no, I thought it's really.

Yeah, I'm trying. And actually, it's been really nice because it's reminded me that there's something outside the show every day. Makes me think about something else. M and I actually joined a local group called sink or swim at the beach yesterday. And we went in with them in the ocean. Why not just call it swim? I know that's what I said

That's what I said I was like what an intense name I'm like given an option I know I'm alive yeah honestly we were like okay

and I asked the name just before we went in the water and I was like oh no I've made a terrible mistake but they were so inclusive and so welcoming and nice to us and we went in the sea

and it woke us the hell up swimming swimming is and this is such like we're in our 30s no I know for sure swimming is such like a thing yeah it really helps it really helps the old brain

everyone seems to realize that about 30 I reckon everyone's like, oh, swim it, like, it fits ride its block. It feels weightless. It's good. Your boobs float and it's just magical. We don't have any of that. I do understand what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah. No, it was amazing. And I've been on a 10K with, an 8K with Chloe Pets. I've been on, to the gym with Ruby, Claude, from, from shelf. I've been, what about, what else? Clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, whatever. I went, we went, we got free donuts, I consider it. Oh my God, they're in.

incredible go there by summer hall we've been doing i've been doing stuff um but seeing shows oh my god i've seen so many great shows no i've seen so many great shows and i never see show that i'm making like an effort this i saw pier neveli the other day it was one of the greatest shows i've seen in my life he's so good he's so good at stand-up he's so good at stand-up and i had to do my show i hate that i hate that that's how i saw helens and i was like for fuck saying no it's very good it's very good i spent when katherine was in she laughed or like referenced something in the audience and I was like oh who said that and it was Catherine

and then I spent the next six minutes in an Irish accent just out of panic yeah it was a fucking disaster thank you for coming it was amazing there is a thing that happens if you see a show before your show the risk is that you accidentally be that person a little bit oh that's interesting oh we've all seen people who've watched too much of one person oh yeah no I know what you mean like you will you pick up the energy I remember, like, saw an Australian comedian

called Ann Edmonds, who is having a baby, had a baby with Lord Langford. Hi, Gwen. I saw her once, big listener, Gwen. Our youngest hog. Anne calls her that too.

Anne Edmond, she's got this particular energy where, like, and my whole show after, I saw her, I was just like screaming. Like, she's just got this, like, there's no end to this story, I'm realising. I lost steam. But we shared it at Gwen and that's the main thing.

We've lost steam. What do we do? We lose team, Andrew. We solve a listener problem. Let's solve a listener problem. Let's get the momentum going again. Let's hear it. Sorry, Catherine. Another woman's silent. For the greater good though. For the greater good.

It's a short problem. So I'll swing it back around you very quickly. This is from Jay. Hi, Jay. Jay said. What the fuck? Okay. usually both Catherine and I say hi J I'm aware that how that happened

I look like a fucking moron This is say hi Jui Can I just very quickly I'm a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under And there's a new season out at the moment And a lot of drag queens blame the edit on that show I'd like to blame the edit They keep cutting to me

Looking like I have a severe head injury Like they keep every shot of me is just me going like... I'm sorry, I just watched the first episode last night and it is true. That is true. You look like you want a competition to be there. Yeah, like there's a point where I'm in the first episode

bouncing on the chair during the lip sync that looks like, yeah, it's definitely like a radio quiz that I wanted to get through it. Bouncing a little chair. Yeah, I really... And because I'm the only one that, like, Rue and Michelle have been doing this show for obviously a million years,

and I just stand there, just they look at me like just settle down keep your cool okay can you keep your call but after we redo the hi jay and i want you to go hi jay okay let's go um this is from jay hi jay jay says my eldest daughter 17 has just had her heartbroken for the first time as her dad i want to be there for her and not make things worse by saying slash doing the wrong thing. She's off to university in September to the same town as said young man who she still has feelings for. What advice should I give her so she isn't her slash used by the lad and any general advice on how to approach the subject so it isn't all cringe? Much obliged, Jay.

Is it too weird to do a call back to the early episode and tell her to fake a terminal illness so he feels bad and gets back with her? That's not great advice, Helen. Okay, but it's an option. Or as a dad, you've got to kill that man. Yes. Healthy. nice healthy healthy healthy um first of all jay i love you for writing in and asking this question it's so sweet um i look in a way there's nothing right or wrong you can do like i think like you can't fix it you just have to be there for it which is the worst it's the worst thing when you can't fix it because you want to so desperately but also i think you evidently care loads so i imagine that's helping already um my advice

would be treat her better than that man did so that when she spends a summer being treated well she'll be like i don't i'm not going to go back to being treated badly and by that i mean like take her right to do things that she actually likes to do yeah um reminded that she has a whole life like encourage her to invite her friends over reminder that she has a whole life that is not him really do you don't think it's his best if like j fakes a letter from university saying like you've lost your place turns out you're too thick what no so that she can't go that year i'm in two camps here So she can't go that year. So then this guy goes to university

and then she gets to restart her life. No, but I think like part of... It would be a blow. It'd be a blow for the young lass. Granted. She's had her heartbroken for the first time. Then the university says, turns out you're too thick.

Obviously, that's gutting. Does that have to be the wording? Well, I don't know. I wouldn't go to university. I don't have the right letters. Sorry, you didn't get your letters that you needed, the grades. Here's what I would say is,

the first time I had my heartbroken by a boy, I was devastated to the point that I used to cry so much at night that my mom for two weeks left on the floor of my bed Oh my God, I would weep like a howl through the night Like just absolutely I was I've never felt pain like I don't think I felt it since like I really truly It was like someone had died I was so and the reason for that is I was so fucking grateful when he started dating me Because knowing it every time he had any interest he was my first kiss he was my first sexual experience He was my first boyfriend.

And honestly, I was like, this is the only person who's ever going to find me beautiful. And this is all that love ever will be. And my mom stayed with me the whole time. And that really honestly truly heard just being there all the time. She made sure all my favorite food was in. And. And I hope you got fat. Oh, no, I didn't.

I couldn't eat anything. I was so sad. I was so sad. But she really tried. Oh, my God. My dad would. Oh, incredible. My dad would bring me flowers, which I think just like stuff that was important for

to remember that like you can get that from other people and I honestly I did try to get like I tried to get back with him I would okay like go around and like beg because he used to live around the corner and every time my mom and dad would be like we know where you were obviously um but like they would talk through what the best outcome was like if he did take me back how I would actually feel if that like oh my god it's such big feel like I remember oh god it's horrific like I didn't have have, I kissed a bunch of boys, but didn't really have, like, relationship with things and I, but, yeah, like, or, remember, like, just unrequited. Like, I don't reckon since I've had.

But I think it's so much more intense, Ben. I've never had a boyfriend. But I think it softens as you get older. Like, the feeling, because I think it's hormones, right, and it's, like, because you're just so horny, but you don't know what sex is. Yep. And, like, it's just this weird. And that's so nice.

My advice to just Jay specifically is just be prepared also for you to do everything you can and for that to be thrown very hardcore back in your face. But don't take, you know what I mean? You've really got to go in here with a full heart and not expect anything back from your child. Could I do? Don't take it personally when they are cruel to you because the world has ruined their perfect, of like goodness I was awful to my I was one of those kids that was so mean to my parents and so and I think back to it and I still do you ever do that I think we were talking about this the other day

like accidents so accidentally cruel to my parents all the time and purely because I'm like maybe I'm existentially angry at them for bringing me into the world maybe it's like you did this good anger why'd you put me here I didn't ask to be born I wasn't I born in the 70s yeah the best time for gay men yeah Doing the math, that would have been a bad. We'll be direct. Okay, okay, all right. The 50s?

Yes. At least I could have had like a fun secret life. And a nice wife. Yay. Yes. Oh, the 50s would be amazing. I would have thrived. Can I talk directly to Jay's daughter?

Because I think, number one, amazing parents. Incredible. I've had my heart. Can I speak directly to Jane's daughter? As far as I see it, you've got a couple of options. Let's not rule out. Pregnancy scare, let's not, it really drags people back in. Okay, let's not rule out a fake illness, fake family illness.

Let's also not rule out your accommodation falling through on your first day of university and having to move in with them. So you're there all the time, the being there strategy. People call it stalking, but it's not as being there. Have you considered swapping your course you're studying to be on the right course as him? Be desperate, be forceful, make it work. Make him feel guilty. Have anyone ever called you to

like the angel and the devil and someone's shoulder? No, but it checks out. It checks out. But I have wings. But I think these are all like completely managed up terms. No, she seems like a tampon girl to me.

She does. You seem like a self-application like no applicator tampon girl. See, you bet. I've had a moon cup since I was 18. That's right. You're a moon cup girl. That's a long time to have a moon cup.

Just to rewind a day. Choose to vet. But I do have a tampon in right now because I'm on the last day and it's the brown dregs. And it's like, who's filling up a cup with that? The brown dress. Am I right? Am I right? The brown drag.

To Jay's daughter, may she go over her heartbreak and have wonderful fake breakfasties. Can we say one last thing about Jay, which is that like, I think you have to accept that she's going to try to get back with him, but that the world will kick her in the face a few times. I know that sounds really bad. But like, I think to be honest with you, it's being willing to have the conversation of the pain, like being called about the pain as if it's all. happened all over again in October, November, December. Because I think that's the thing. Like right now it's fresh, but also she's going to hold out hope, whether you want or two or not.

And like having that conversation, like, it's still not boring you by then, I think is fundamental. Oh, yeah. And never tell, like, never say get over it. No, no. My mum said on the plus side, you'll lose weight. Don't say that either. Similar experiences.

I would encourage her to, like, when she's ready, do like, group activities in university, like join a team or whatever she can. that means she has friends that are like softball maybe she'll end up being queer oh my god we can but dream hockey also applies in this country yes please uh you got options you got options but hey mainly jay i think if you took the time to write to osloons about your daughter you're doing good the about that you're listening to this podcast i know you're such a nice part that's fine dads are listening dads are listening hey dads that's kate daddies that's crazy oh no no no no no no please don't please don't please don't please don't

don't. It was my dad's 70th birthday yesterday. I called him and he didn't answer and I went, I'm just trying to call to say happy birthday and he went, thank you. And just a reminder, we should all go see the brown dregs at Pleasance this year. Yes, such a good.

Can I tell you? I think I said this all fair, but I just got my coil removed for the first time in 10 years. Well, I had two, don't worry, I didn't even have to be the arm thing? No, I love you so much. It's the whim thing.

Oh, the womb thing. The womb thing. If you watch Teen Mom O.G, the first two seasons they explain everything. It's a sort of nice thing. So I had it taken out. So I haven't had a period in 10 years. So now I'm waiting for one and I feel like a teenager.

Like it's why I'm waiting for my first period. But every time Helen talks about it, it seems terrifying. Like I'm very anxious. I'm thriving with mine. I just, I'm, yeah, arguably I think I've got a bigger womb lining than you. So I'm losing a lot more. I don't think your womb is bigger than mine. I'm a bigger lass.

I don't think that's how. I'm six foot one. I don't think that's how. My womb is large. Okay. He's mostly womb. Okay. You think that's a t.

Wrong. Whom! Fascinating. Even though you didn't get your period, did you still get, and this is just for their listeners like Jay to learn, did you still get the emotional effects of a period? Yeah, I think you still have the hormonal trajectories

that you would have of any month. But yeah. I think, I think, oh my God. No, you did. There's probably some doctors fucking listening and being like, that's wrong. But I think that's right.

I think that's having spoken to my guiney, that is correct. Giney. my guiney yes thank god for guineas by the way i don't have a guiney are we supposed to have a guine i don't know but mine i had to have one because there was a problem with mine yeah yeah anyway the point is i had to go in for like an emergency removal and this and i was going in for an ultra they had to do like ultrasounds and all that's jazz but how boring i was in a lot of pain did you find out the gender uh yeah it was a fucking little bitch

but before she went in this like older indian woman just goes someone couldn't find this last time and I was like no no one can because it had moved yeah and she was like I've got magic fingers I was like love her oh my god this is uh I'm now confused I'm confused lighting up a cigarette after yeah seriously then when she took it out did not expect this she held it up like to my face it was like there it is and I was like no I don't like it I don't keep it no you didn't no I know you didn't know I didn't even want to look at it I was like Jesus is it actually in a coil oh no no oh no Oh my God, so much to learn.

It's like a T-bar. Oh, yeah, okay. I knew about the arm ones. Yeah? What do you know about them? I-U-D, yeah. Yeah, what do you know about them? I think they use them in the Iraq War.

That's IED, but I did the exact same Google a couple of years ago. That's fucking mad. That's an improvised. Funny jokes. Improvised explosive device and they put it in lunchboxes. I know. It's a slow release, right? It's a slow release, right?

Is that what it does? Yeah. Where that seems more of a block thing, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a plug. I use condoms and I pin them for attention. And that's more advice for Jay. Have another daughter start again.

Yes, do it. Get one, they won't leave, Jay. Get one they won't leave. Actually, fuck it. Always having daughters. Cards a whole of the rest of the advice. That should be here. Start again, new daughters.

Let her go. This one's broken now. of Harry and the Henderson. You've got to tell her to leave. Jay, no, Jay, no, Jay. Oh my God. Wow, the only person, crueller than hell and everybody,

it was Ray Snickleson. Oh, God. Yeah. Thank you so much for doing our podcast. That's all right. Thank you. And, hey, Jay, come to my show. Yeah, or mine's about being broken up with.

Oh. Yeah, come on. Mine's about filming our relationship. You've got to plug it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. Where can people find you?

I'm at Underbelly, Ermentrude, it's a lecture theatre. It's going fine. The show's called Reith, Reith. It's a reference to Judy, Judy, Judy. No one is understanding that. I got it. Thank you. I thought it was a reference to education, education, education that Tony Blasbache.

Oh, yeah, you're right. That makes sense. Way more so. That's a strong A to B. Yeah. But I love your poster. I see it everywhere. The bright orange.

Yeah. It's fucking gorgeous. Thank you. And also, Reese's shows are always amazing. I go every year with my friend Georgie. We, um, I, you have some of my favorite. Like, you're an incredible routine writer. I genuinely quote your one about mothers keeping teeth far too often.

Um, you'll have a great time. It's just always a good vibe. And, um, and so they can find you there. What time is your show? 825, one of those weird friends. Lovelty time. And also, where can they find you online? Oh, it's just, uh, on Instagram, Breeze Nicholson.

Um, reasonicleson.com. Um, no one's going there. Come on, don't be silly. But Instagram, Instagram it is, yeah. I will go there because I would like to come to Australia and see the people with the flies. What? The opal?

No, there's a town where they, if they stand outside of fly lands on their face. What? Yeah, there's heaps of flies in Australia. Yeah, but there's a town. It's called Cuba PD. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is it really cool that, Reese?

Yeah. Yes, and I want to go there. Wow. I want to go there and Humpty Do. Oh, my God. I don't know if Humpty Do is a thing. It's in the northern territories. Did you research Australia for this?

No, I watched a reality show with a lot of weirdos on it. There it is. That's our girl. When I was on the bus on the way here, you did follow me on Twitter. And I was like, oh, a bit of research. Helen, come on, do it the night before. Jesus Christ. I was imagining just randomly scrolling. Shut up, shut up.

Who is this? What do they do? Most say, Helen. We've gicked together before. Stand up a show. We still didn't follow them. We can't talk about this on here, but you actually like fucking saved me that day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the story, but we'll do it after this. Okay, okay. Everybody, one more time for Reese Nicholson. Check at the match. Maybe follow them on Twitter. Yeah, but Twitter, it's a been fire. It is.

You're right. You're right. I'm going to be able to be.