Trusty Hogs - Ep48. DAVID O'DOHERTY / Road Safety, Sex Ed & Saddam Hussein

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

The legendary David O'Doherty joins us for our final fringe chat as we discuss his illustrious family tree; comedian rivalries, and exorcisms...Follow David: @PhlaimeauxThank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Kierah Leach / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes  / Sarah & Molly  / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie ChiversWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to episode 48 of trusty hogs. I'm Catherine Bowhart and I'm Helen Bauer. There we go. This is obviously a podcast about our perfect lives. There are no issues there. We're fine. And we're still coming to you from the old Edinburgh Fringe. Catherine had a mental breakdown.

Let's do the show! Through the fog, step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will see. of them or maybe they won't and that's your problem they'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech

oh it's Helen and Catherine has the trusty hogs trust the trusty hogs or maybe not Let's do the show! Not what happened That is like Can I explain?

Yeah I committed at the start of this I was like You know what I'm going to do is I'm know, like, post every day on the internet about how I'm going to do something for my mental health. Turns out, that gave me a big mental stress, actually. I was like, it's just like another thing I had to do every day. And then I also had to be happy. And then I also had to post about it.

And I also had to be on the internet. And it was actually just causing me a lot of stress. Who could have seen this coming, you guys? Everyone. Everyone saw it coming. And now people keep tweeting me being like, should we be worried that the mental fringe isn't happening anymore? Catherine, what do you need? And I'm like, I need to be left alone.

I will say this. Obviously, if anyone listening to this, we are now back in London, we're not still at the Edinburgh Fringe, but we saw we'd squeeze in another episode while we were up here just so we can get another really cool international guest. As far as your mental fringe goes,

everyone thought, that's a choice. Everyone, but it's also hard to say to someone who is doing active steps for their mental health. That's really rude. That's a choice. It's rude. I believed in you. That's really rude.

What do you mean they were like, as in like they were mocked? No one was mocking you, just all in our own heads. Okay. I feel like comedians only have those thoughts out last. I feel like you're telling me that I'm being bullied. Okay, let's stop this. Do you want to take a minute?

I feel like you're really sad. No, are people actually just mocked? No, they weren't. I was saying in a jokey way, but I feel like I said it wrong. Snows taking it to your heart. Ellen's bullying me on the podcast. Oh, wait, are we actually doing this? Yeah.

I thought I was like take a minute as in like being deadly serious. What, you can fake cry, but I can't fit. Yes! I was like, Catherine, no one is talking about you, but I was worried you believe that. That's horrible. Every single episode is just you being like, poor Helen, poor Catherine. What about poor Catherine? The bottom of your world just fell out then.

Fair play. Fair play. Thank you. I thought you genuinely thought everyone was mocking you. I could not give a fuck with anybody. joking way and then I freak the fuck out. It's important to stress I care what four people think of me. Which four?

You. And? My mama. And? Sister. Georgie. Oh, Georgie, yeah. And... And, sister. And myself. Aw. Nice. That's a really good four.

Really close the circle. There are other people who like will always love me so I don't have to worry about that as much. Like my brother and my sister and my friend Karen. I love Karen. Yeah, there's like not even reason for me to worry about that because Like, I could kill someone and Karen would be like, deserved it. You're a good person.

You're a good person. Everyone. You worry about my love for you going. No, like, as in I would like take a question. No, no, you worry about the love. You should. Sure, yeah. I think it seems pretty conditional.

A couple more shit. We weren't really friends until I started giving you work every week. You don't think I was your friend before. This is the worst. I hate Edinburgh. I hate it. We are all. the worst versions of ourselves.

I'm not proud of this. I hate myself right now. No. No, don't you dare. Don't you dare. Don't you dare? Don't you can't turn the tables. Don't you dare? No one's banging.

Poor fat Helen. You keep trying to make this a thing and it's not a thing. It is a thing. Poor fat Helen is not a single tear in her eyes so she can fuck off. Poor fat Helen has cried all the tears. She can. I think you need to put context for poor fat Helen because you told us this off the podcast. Whoops, daisies.

Okay. So, poor, fat Helen. Okay, so obviously poor Helen is the cute thing I do for attention, which now apparently everyone can do and use against me, which I think is fucking bullshit. But I was walking with some comedians and loads of people ran ahead of me. And then I turned to Heidi Regan and went, oh, poor fat Helen. And she laughed because it's funny.

And then now I'm chasing that dragon. Like an absolute scagged. I cannot stop. And then I was at dinner with like Nick Ellery, Eddie, Will, Ania. We went to this, like, really good noodle place. What's the cold? I don't know. It's like above a shop.

No, thank you. And you wouldn't, but it's like so good. But what's it called? I can't remember. Okay. You know, RICO recommended it to Nick. Okay. All right.

I'll check it out. We'll ask you, RICO. Basically. And then everyone's food arrived, but mine hadn't arrived. And I went, poor fat Helen. And I got a response again because it's so funny. So I said to my new agent, I was like, can we refer to me as poor fat Helen from now onward? She got very upset, didn't like it.

Why? But then, I don't know, people don't want to say poor fat Helen without me doing a context. Can I tell you my moment of The Fringe? Yeah. So after we bombed real hard at our own gig, gigless, and then you had that, like, we had that awkward moment where you were realizing it on stage that somebody had been stabbed who you just made. And there was a whole thing. Thank you, Catherine. My favorite moment of the fringe goes to, we brought on the next gig.

Oh, I don't know what sound I just made. We neither, but I'll clip that up. Don't worry. Got it out. um so fuck you glottal stop fuck you

I'm so tired that's staying in I'm sorry I'm sorry I think of the fake crying everything's staying in this is a no edit this is a no edit episode

we'll see how I goes it's a no edit episode but my favorite moment of the fringe is when I got offstage and I came by the time to the back and your agent was just that they're going all I could hear was yes i think what might be good is if you just put um if you just get BBC news app on your phone and then get alerts

what my lack of awareness for the world is now taken over into my job that my agent had to be like so what i do is on BBC news it gives me a push on notification when something significant happened so you just know oh my god it was so funny i was like no it's a no edit episode that snort stays in Oh, I love, I'm super into it. But I was like, oh my God, finally, there's someone to help me. There's two of us now. Yeah, I think I've chosen my new, because my agent quit for anyone who doesn't know,

so I had to find a new agent. She was exhausted. She was so tired. She was so tired. It's a lot, it's a lot. She's like 24, but you'd never know it. She's going on holiday with me in January, though, my old agent. Oh, God.

We go skied together. It'd be really nice. but now I've got a new agent but I found myself and lovely Irish mamie like Catherine Yeah you did You literally found as close to me

As close to me as you could get They went to the same college I was like this is perfect We all went for a meeting together And Catherine and your agent We're literally just like sharing college stories Uny Uny

And we were just all like What the fuck is this Just uni for people who are British I was so good in that meeting You were awful in that meeting Everybody stopped taking notes every time you spoke So we had like a trusty Hogs meeting Because we're like trying to sort of like

find a way that we can sort of like expand the podcast but also like still have us sort of like doing it and leading it and obviously that means we started going to meetings together which is so weird sorry you made it sound like we'll sometimes have other people leading it first a a meeting leading it b we'll always be hosting we're just trying to we're just trying to get more listeners but the meeting was so good because we were talking about like oh would we ever be able to like sponsored ads for anyone so i said yes Disneyland at the thought park and every time i made a suggestion everyone stopped writing in their notepad Unclick the pen.

That poor man, we were just like, we could do moon cups, we could do dildos, we could do puzzles, we could do puzzles. You could see him being like, are puzzles? Are puzzles? I don't think so. I just don't think I've ever had a jigsaw puzzle advertised on a podcast before. I wonder why. Yeah, well, no, you say that, but podcasts are for like, is like the new radio. So why can't jigsaws be for the radio people?

That makes sense. Yeah, okay, fair, yeah, fair. Andrew actually said to me after the meeting finished, didn't you? You went, I thought your suggestions were actually. she really good because I was like we could go to like to her face I thought and I thought the Disney one was good you think somebody's going to pay us to go to Disneyland I think you can get to that yeah you're boggs hogs please please message us please message us and say yes I would listen to a road trip like Helen Helen can I tell you something this week um M was making

clips and she was like any notes on the clips and I was like oh it'd be real cool if there was one where I was talking and then M was like oh that's I would love to but I'm I can't because there's no clips where Helen's not shouting over you and truly she was so right and I was like oh that can and then just now I was like and ha and and um I just I guess it just takes me back to poor Catherine poor fat Catherine Poor fat Catherine. Catherine, Catherine, Catherine, Catherine, Catherine, Catherine, Catherine. You tell them why you want to go to Disneyland.

I don't want to go to Disneyland. I don't want to go. I would never go to Disneyland with you, and I don't want to go. I'm good, thanks. Poor Fat Helen. I suppose it's good that poor fat Catherine and poor fat Helen don't go together because we might not be able to go on Riding together. I don't want to go.

No space. No space. Oh my God. Yeah, so the mental health thing, I think I stopped. I wanted to say something about that than I thought I shouldn't. Oh, go on, be mean. No, it wasn't mean. It was just that I knew it stopped being good for your mental health on day nine.

What was day nine? Because you called me and you started scheduling your mental health. I'm like, do you, can you do something with me on the 21st? She wrote me in the morning and went, hi, so I'm now scheduling my mental health wellness. And I was like, it's too early. I had like a wheat of bics in my mouth. I was very confused.

I went, okay. And she went, so would it be good for your brain to go to the Chihuahua Cafe at 9am on the 21st? I was like, Catherine, I'm gone. You start scheduling wellness. And I knew, I knew that moment, it's over. It's over. Also, because she scheduled a palm reading.

And if you would do that for your mental health. I know, but then you're starting to take my mental health into consideration because of yours. But I will say bringing you joy gives me weird joy. Weird joy. Yeah, I really kind of... Because you love Helen. Also, you're just so expressive and effusive and I could never be that excited about anything. So I just think, well, I'll let you be excited and then I live vicariously.

It's very sweet. Poor fat, half one. Also... Does Fat Andrew want to say anything? Oh, but my friend Abby Clark, friend of the podcast, went to the Choir Cafe. One of the show I was bruising. in legally blonde I met this bruiser

about four years ago Oh you have You told me about this I have and they do frame it in a way that is misleading No offence to our cafe But they do say She was bruiser in legally blonde

And then they mutter under their breath In the Scottish touring production And I feel like that has to be Surely the original bruises He's gone now, long gone Oh guys Guys Stop that.

Every dog we liked growing up is dead. What's wrong with the pair of you? You have to be, you have to face these things straight on. How's your mental health in? Catherine? She's not scheduling anymore. Well, no, it's going fine. Everything's fine.

I will say a low, low was, I was asked to write this article for the eye on breakups during pandemics. So I obviously didn't want to write about that. So I sort of like circumnavigated and talked about all the kinds of regular. I'd heard about on my tour because that was quite a useful thing

for perspective and also very funny and they added a tagline they had a headline fine which in of itself was like okay it was like it was like can laughter even dry the tears of a clown or something

and then they put in like a Google stock image of a sad clown beside a photo of my actual face so it's me and this graphic And truly that was when I was like No amount of taking pictures at the fudge factory can fix this Are you looking it up Andrew?

Yeah, yeah I want to see this is amazing That's why I kind of stopped doing the mental health fringe thing Because I was like I was like you know what I think I'm just gonna drink Actually I think I'm just gonna drink

Because apparently even when you try to be chipper There's no But there's no getting away from it here There is no getting away You try and spend time by yourself to make sure you're like rest and everything like that

but then you feel lonely and you feel like everyone's having fun without you and then possibly having more fun because you're not there which is a weird trick your brain plays but then when you are out and about you feel maybe sometimes I'm welcome in places like people don't actually want me here so you don't really know what to be if you go see a show you feel bad because you're not talking to people or resting but if you don't see a show you feel rude because you haven't gone to see them it's like whatever you do is wrong apart from binging

you know you're right there's a lot you can't do you can't like you can't really exercise because there's so much compulsive very walking here that you're like exhausted already. That's enough. Yeah. On top of which you can't really flirt with anybody because everybody here is people you work with. So you can't do that and you shouldn't. Fine. And then it's like

you can't go for a quiet anything because literally everywhere is full of people who know you. Yeah, it's not ideal. It's not ideal. God, we're such fucking moan bags. This is an artistic festival we have volunteered to do ourselves. We're paying to do it. It's not like, we're having a great time.

I actually have been having, this last week, I've had a lot of fun. When I stopped with the mental health stuff and just started having fun. I'm just loving the your message from like when we first started doing this podcast is now. Like, when I stopped trying to take care of myself and start drinking, I guess everything was better. And you know what? Helen's advice is always right. Put everyone in a well. No, I do.

Don't take care of yourselves, drink and binge and put everyone in a while. No, I just like, at this festival, I have not been letting myself have some fun. And for once I've been letting myself have a little bit of fun. make some silly choices about like going to bed on time and like maybe having too many drinks of caffeine in the evening and honestly I've been having a nice time I've been seeing my friends you're seeing your friends and our guest just arrived what I cannot tell you how lucky we are to have this man here this is like a big deal guest I'm losing my mind everyone please for trusty hogs welcome David O'Darkey

Thank you so much to all of our executive producers Guy Goodman, Simon Moore, Zina Bautista, Mary Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Harkay Deacon And all of us. We met her! Oh my gosh, she's such lovely curls, so supportive. And Oliver Jago. Do you want to read the producers? Producers! Thank you so much to Richard Bicknell, L, Richard Bold, Neil Redman,

Victoria Hutchinson, Emma Walton, Karen and David Bull, Harold Van Dyke, Kira Leach, Jim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel R. Anthony Conway, Siddy Cashmore, Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Joe Holmes, Sarah and Molly, Alex Pugh, Josie W, Amy, Ria Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page. How? Oh my God, it is so weird seeing all these names and how many people's, like, faces I've seen over this last couple of movies. They've really supported us during the Friends. Thank you so much. I saw like Emma yesterday with her parents. Yeah. And then I saw, yep, like Sarah Harkadiekin, obviously, L's been up. Truly, thank you so much for supporting us. Thank you for supporting our live shows, for supporting the podcast.

And hey, if you're not a producer yet, why the hell not? Come on. Join us for five pounds a month. Come on. Come on. Over. Every single week. And to be honest, that's where we tell all of our secrets.

Thanks, Bohart. It's so nice to be here. Honestly, a privilege to have you in the studio. That's too much. No, I mean it, with all of my heart, an honor, truly a divine moment for me. I love you so much. I love your show so much. I went to see it, loved it. Also, I was obsessed with you when I was very young. Yeah, this is the problem, the very young thing.

I would see Emily Wilson's show the other night. It's an incredible show about how she was on X Factor. Really? She tries to explain what 1999 was like to be in the audience, and I was like, oh, the first year I came to Edinburgh. all my life landmarks since that age are here I also think you're a legend

thank you very much Alan you're welcome happy birthday to you thank you so much this must cease when did this start 2020 so for two years David O'Darge has been saying happy birthday to you most days

weekly yeah I just thought it was a funny thing to do I think I once retweeted something that Tell him was like, I'm doing this gig, or maybe it was when Gigliss was on. Yeah, it was your birthday gig, right. Yeah. So I said, happy birthday to you, and it got quite a big response. So then I just continued to keep saying, happy birthday.

Until, like, diminishing returns. Sure, but technically, I feel we all have a birthday to celebrate the next one or the last one. So can you not just take it as a... I always get excited whenever you said happy birthday. I'm like, oh my God, is it? Like, because you never know, you know what I mean? Because you lose track of dates sometimes. Yeah, assume we're not doing gifts with this regular.

No, I've never got a gift. I just get like a tweet or a message or an Instagram. Let me tell you a great trick. If you ever want to wish someone, happy birthday and make it really special, just go to YouTube and put in Happy Birthday Helen or the person's name and you'll generally find, you know, an American family singing an acropella version of a song called

Happy Birthday, Helen. And there's no shortage of these kind of videos to just... That's amazing. I think you did send me one of those. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, thank you. Happy birthday to you too.

Happy birthday. When is your birthday? To all the listeners, just before Christmas. You're a Christmas baby, like Jesus. I'm a Jimiraquarius, I think. Oh, you are from the 90s. Virtual insanity is my star sign. I would love it if that was a star.

I'm an Ares. I wish you could see Helen's face right now because she's genuinely trying to laugh along, which is also furious that astrology's not being taken seriously. She's like, cool. But also, I'm a fire sign. I want to join in, but I also want us to be respectful of the religion.

Yeah, exactly. Right? Catherine's also a fire sign. Thanks for having me on the podcast. So you've been doing Edinburgh since 1999? In 1999, I, oh, let's get this beef out of the way. Okay, please. So in 1999, I came here.

Finally. I won the Channel 4 So You Think You're Funny Newcomer competition We know it well The runner up was 16 year old Josie Long I was 22

And then Oh my gosh She almost beat you And she was Oh no She won the BBC New Comedy Awards Which was

And get this It was broadcast On BBC 1 With Bob Monkhouse As the host Like Bob Monkhouse Who did comedy In the 1950s

Like these shots of him After the Second World War Somehow I get in At the end That's how Oh, my God, that is. But it was the live, the final was live broadcast. It was broadcast as a one-hour TV spectacular.

So is your beef with Bob or Josie? No, the beef is. So to this day, Josie brings up that she beat me in the BBC new comedy awards. Great, great. And it says that I've never gotten over it. So she did a feature interview with The Times just before this festival, and they used that as the pool quote. I beat David O'Darney and he's never gotten over it. So let me say.

right here on TH that I beat Joseph so get this get the group and I understand you also beat

her and something else the group that that I crushed with my manly palms your comedy lulls

O'Dahardy wins runner up long other people that year Jimmy Carr what's he doing he's taking

his name off the Wikipedia as one of the losers of us no no so good

it's not there and everyone else's name is there. Allegedly. Amazing. You can go into Wikipedia and you can see all the edits that have been done so you can check. I'll show you. Russell Howard was in that. Andy Zaltzman. Juliet Cowan.

Yeah, every single person went on to be a pro. Oh, God, you're so old. So, oh my goodness. Yeah, there were no mobile phones. That's crazy. Had to rewind videos before you brought them back to the show. What? What?

Oh my God. I remember that, though. Do you remember? I remember a winding videos. At the van, three videos for three nights for three pounds. It's a good deal. It's a good deal. No, I've got a brother and a sister, so we get a video each.

Do you have three separate video machines? No, we'd have to wait. How would you decide the order of them that you watch them? Me first. And then I'd let my brother and sister fight it out. And then I'd cry that they bullied me to my parents. Can you think of a single movie that the three of you would have watched together? Go on.

Yeah. One movie. that me and my brother, we've got three very different vibes. Explain to David. He needs to understand. Okay, so my big brother's two. We're all very close to nature. A big brother's two years older than me. I love Ted. I think he's great.

He does a lot of political activism. Now out of jail. Shout out to Ted Bauer. Wee. Freedom at last. He used to working with Donald's in Brixton, but he got fired because he tried to stand and make a protest about workers' rights. And now he's trying to do education

unions with the headmasters and head mistresses of Britain. We love Ted, but very different to me. And my little sister's... I almost prefer him. Everyone prefers Ted. Helen truly hates workers' rights. Go on.

I get the song. You know, like there's power in a union, power in the land. Sit on Starbucks, though, Alan. Take a good gulp of that and continue. And then my little sister is two years younger than me. She's also autistic and has a very low mental age, as she would only ever rent Thumbelina and watch it on repeat. I loved Thumbelina.

Whereas I was very much like, little women with Renona Ryder. Yes. So good. Like very posy with my films. And I think my brother was more like, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings. He loved watching Battlestar Galactica and like Star Warsy stuff.

Jesus. So you really didn't have any common ground. We had no common ground, apart from blood. Oh, yeah. Which we would do and like, like. First love the movie. Oh, okay. The, okay, this brings me to my first major topic.

Okay. Oh my God. I love that you're the host now. Welcome to David, chat with me, David Adherty. First major topic, let's hear it. I went to see Rapunzel, a student production of Rapunzel three days ago

with a four-year-old. Yes. Wow. How was it? And they obviously, so she knew Rapunzel from Tangled. Yeah, of course. Which they obviously couldn't get the rights for or anything to do. Now, she's going to have, grow up with a very confusing idea of theater because she'd seen beauty in the

Beast a few days before they couldn't get the rights for that but they'd written other songs no stop it I am setting the table for a big party and she's just like what let us be your host be your host be your host yeah yeah what are you talking about was this kid like having the weirdest trip was she like did I come up in the wrong place yes that every to her theater is when you have a memory of a book or a cherished movie and then you absolutely ruin it so this was based

on the frickin' brother's grim tale of Raponels are you joking? Wendishen I love that. Gaille Yeah Turbo Titten monkey Ash Gail Geil So that's, I worked in Germany

one summer and with a cool German guy and I'd say Gile meaning cool and he would say turbo titan guile which literally means horny turbotits cool

wow that's very disgusting and then monkey turbo tits cool often so this was one of the spookiest narratives ever there's an awful lot of witches in it who keep pointing at Rapunzel's belly

and being like and I will kill one of the children that resides in here what I don't know version, this is amazing. I'm bouncing a four-year-old on my knee who's like, can we go now? I was in the round, so I was like, we can't go. We have to stay until the end.

So in fairness to this version of Rapunzel, she had her hair at a bag, it was rope, it was fine, there was no tower, they used a stool for a tower. It's the theatre. This was all fine. She got into it as the thing went along. In fairness, the magic of theatre. And then at the very end, Rapunzel goes, I'll be in a, anyone's photo if they want in the car park

and I thought we might be scarpering and Leonie is like we're going to the car park I need a photo with Raponzo. So I have a very cute fan pick of Rapalzel with a

four year old. Question I assume on everyone's mind. You know the kid yeah? What's the relation? The kid to go back to the as everything does in my life, Catherine, to go back to the 1999 Channel 4, so you think is... Are you serious? The child

belongs to the person I defeated in that comedy competition, Josie Long. Oh my God! No! Josie does her show, and Josie's partner has another show, and some days there's a clash. You have to look after their kid to prove you're over it when you're clearly not over it. And Leonie and I

have lived together in the fringe in the past, and she's one of those people that she's like, all right, David, let's go. and we go around the city and every time we see a Josie picture like a poster for her show it's quite a useful thing because she's like where's my mommy and I'll be like

there at a giant A1 poster and she goes over and whispers to the poster and then waves at it yeah she doesn't miss her mom anymore that's too cute I can't handle it how would you tell us that this far into the fringe I'm going to cry so cute so if you're ever babysitting

and I was the other day It looks like it might be a struggling issue All you have to do is cover the city You're in with posters of the child's parents I was literally with Sarah Barnes kid the other day Going on a Pokemon, hon But outside the context of Edinburgh Fringe That just makes the kid think their parents are missing

Or like the dictators Of that's huge Saddam Hussein picture Popular heroes What the hell No one refers to Saddam Hussein in conversation anymore That was impressive Now that is a throwback as well David's very old.

He's a old-school driver. Like Saddam Hussein. Yeah, Saddam Hussein came to see my trinch show in 2003. Oh, when he was a great guy. He loved to laugh. Before you young people cancelled him for whatever he was. What did you do, isn't it? The young people.

I absolutely loved your show. Have you been enjoying doing it? Yeah, I've been very much enjoying. I live with Rose Matafayo. So good. And we have a very nice time, lounging around. If you've been doing it since 1999, how do you, because you always seem genuinely ecstatic and excited when you get on stage

and like as excited as, and you work as hard on your shows when you really, let's be honest, this stage could absolutely phone it in. Hey. How do you stay so excited and ambitious about it? I do love doing it. I definitely, and then in Ireland, we had a pandemic. Oh, that really?

Yeah. Which one? The potato famine. The, uh, I knew you were going to do. That was an epidemic. It really. Was it not? I think it was a famine.

It was a famine. What? Yeah. You about a famine and epidemic is like a big problem. So I think you think you have some expertise in the potato famine. You know I have expertise on it. The Irish Wax Work Museum version of. Now, you also know that I do know a lot about.

this you know I know my rebel songs don't sing them yes I do know that you know them and also because I went to the museum so in the this is what I think of with the Irish waxworks museum so there's a I've never been to it I'm so sorry but my friends have been to it and they

take a waxwork of your hand yes I did it with Alison Spittle she got one done so it was two grown-ups and they were a couple at the time and so one did the proverbial oh how do we describe that like a fist with an oak a wank shape

and the other did the pointy finger going into the wank shape because there were a couple it was actually quite a beautiful thing in two different coat yeah but get this so I

I had a sort of a trophy cabinet in my house and nothing to put in it I bought it in a joke shop so I put it in it and then because you thought you'd get the BBC New Comedy Award

Winter still saving that space yeah maybe winter became spring and spring became summer and that relationship didn't work out. And the way my house is, the light sort of comes through the window into the summer and it hit the trophy cabinet and I arrived back one day

and the finger peen going into the hand vaj had just melted into a pile at the bottom. Yeah, but it was... That's beautiful. It was very beautiful. I'm sorry, that is beautiful. I wish you'd taken a picture of it every single day and a picture of them every single day as their relationship with it

because that would be an amazing modernity. Oh, like when you see pictures of people like the like problems with crack cocaine or whatever. Remember those pictures at school where it's like this is you on like the first day of crack but this is you one year into crack? Yes. Yeah, like the exact same thing.

We're on the same page. Yeah, it's flowing. We had, I remember a guy called Duncan came into our school to tell us not to become alcoholics. Was he a guarder? He was not a guarder. He was an A.A. A.A. A. Oh, yeah, sure.

And I remember, this is terribly bad. I remember him saying, it got so bad once. I woke up in a hotel room and I didn't know, I rang down to reception, not knowing what language the receptionist would speak. And remember, as a 14-year-old going, this is one of the best things. It's a really fucking amazing. It's like, you were in a city, but you didn't know where in the world.

Like, come on. That sounds so cool. In my school, we had these people who, like, are the religious against alcohol. whole called their group called pioneers in Ireland and you would take a vow to become a pioneer and you would constantly get a badge right and like but it would always be some man who came in who was like devoid of even an awareness of joy and he'd wander in and he'd tell you about every night he'd ruined for everyone else by not having any fun and then he was like but the main thing is god will be really happy about it and truly it was like the inverse of that where it was

like, I never want to be you. I wasn't drinking at that stage, but it made me want to. Did you, Bohart, did you take the pledge? The pledge? I did indeed. So to the listeners, when you do your confirmation, when you're 10 or 11, oh, is that when you marry Jesus, when all the young girls marry Jesus? No, that's the communion.

That's the communion. You're already married. This is more like you're renewing your vows. You're 11 now. It's time to renew your vows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a point. Fucking creepy is shit. Yes, pump this up a notch.

There's a point in it where the bishop goes, anyone who would like to remain in abstinent from alcohol until they're 18. I don't know if it's stand up now or if it's just promise the Lord you will not drink. Yeah. Yeah. Remember Darrow Breeden used to have a joke which was what religion makes liars out of 11 year olds. Pretty much everyone within three years. I stuck to the pledge.

Did you? Didn't drink if we're 18? Wow. Yeah. First kiss at 19, maybe. She's a cool dude You can't drink or kiss Oh no that part

I just added myself Oh my God You added on extra rules No no My personality made it such Like what is the question No nobody wanted to kiss me I don't think we had anyone at our school

Come in to talk about alcohol or drugs But we did have We had a couple's day Where like a couple's day Where different couples come in and talk about their relationships I know I still think this is weird

It was like a PSHE day Like personal social health education day and then we had couples coming in and I remember like there was like a really old couple there was someone who like got divorced and like new relationship like step parents and then there was a couple who were young and they cheated on each other but still remain together because they openly discussed it I remember thinking like fair fucking play for you for coming in in front of a room for 13 year olds being like I cheat on him she cheated on me who gives a shit that's very different it's very modern that's like I can't the closest thing to a couple's day we had is

sometimes a nun and a priest would come in and that'd be it. Like truly that'd be it. What are you talking about? I remember we had sex ed in our school and there was a genuinely like absolutely fury filled parent teacher meeting

beforehand where three or four the parents had decided that it was completely inappropriate that they teach us thought like we might have periods and my mom was like my mom honestly loved every second of it. I even remember being 11 and her coming in and being like, let me tell you the tea.

Oh my God. Like she was like, we don't like this lady, we don't like this lady, we don't like this lady. But yeah, there was like a walkout situation where they settled on, we would have sex ed, but there would be an invitation to walk out at the beginning. So like these three kids with real lame moms had to be like, let us know what they said after you.

Take notes. No! And they were put in a different room with like silences on their ears, just like rocking back and forward until it's done. Not quite. Awful. Well, they should have taken a very very much. to the Lord

that they wouldn't have their periods to their regime but I think a good Christian girl would one of the key things of growing up in Ireland was that it really

equipped you with cynicism from a very early age as in that was because I had proud on my mother's a Protestant and my father's a jazz musician which is even worse

and so they're both just making up their own rules are they well the whole thing was the priest would be like and remember it's Friday tomorrow

so you should all eat fish you'll give him fish a mom would be like absolutely and then would just get in the car with me and be like, we were going to be totally. Like it was just very clear that this was just a bullshit exercise that you're not

which is why when the whole thing collapsed so quickly no one was remotely surprised. Did you eat fish on a Friday? Yeah. Did you eat fish on a Friday? Well, predominantly yeah. But also my family are like, I think quite Catholic as things go. Yeah. You know, my dad's,

a member of the clergy. Yes. Now, he wasn't when I was growing up, but we generally did. And I have to say, no complaints from me, I absolutely love Smoked Haddock. That was my name. Smoked Haddock. Had a bit of smoked Haddock every Friday. Because what 11-year-old doesn't love going home?

Smoked Haggit on a Friday night before she reaffirms her pledge to God. The problem with a lot of Catholicism, sorry, we're going off on our Catholicism tangent now. It just makes me feel better because I am learning a lot about Ireland because I feel like, I am, I'm, like, becoming Irish. It always became an argument about these insignificant. So, like a classic argument would be, uh, sorry father, we should have fish in a Friday. Yes.

Do prawns count as fish? And I'd be like, yes. What about Paialla if it has chorizo in us? Yeah. I don't know. Shut up, boys. We just got rice. What's the question?

Constantly bargaining with the Lord. Like, if I have a cod liver oil. actual, can I go KFC? Exactly. So good. Did you go to an old boy school? Yeah. Oh my God, that's my idea of hell.

Was it hard? Yeah, I hated it. That's horrific. I'm so sorry. It's fine. It probably led to some... So my dad was a piano. My dad is a piano player.

My dad is so cool. So my father is this jazz musician in Ireland where he spent his whole life working in these incredible tunes and flying to L.A. and making an album. No one knows any of his work, but he wrote the song that you have to learn in school about how to cross the road remember one look for a safe place do don't worry stop and wait

yeah he wrote the safe cross code and so that would be the thing at a birthday party dad would have been working on some orchestral piece for six trumpets and I'd ever be like do this do the cross the road song

I want to hear the cross the road song can you send me a link to it yeah the problem with it is I remember at the time everyone's a critic everyone's a critic the British cross the road song was really simple.

When you're walking down the street, mind your head and watch your feet. If you don't stay alert, you could end up getting hurt. You've got to stop and think and you'll be king of the road. Really? Yeah, that was our one.

I mean, the problem is she hasn't broached the tough issue of crossing the road, which is why Helen just walked around her own block. For years and nearest. Would this be, it's been broadcast on RTE1 from 50. Would this sit? Oh, I play it. It's sung by Brendan Grace, who was the jungle priest from Father Ted.

No. Sorry, I've got to, because there's a YouTube adverts, but I'll get it up. It's a seven point road crossing. Seven point? Yeah. Here we go. A thorough jazz musician. I think this would be a bit.

This is so cool. Your dad's back. No, the court. One, two, three, six, that's four, five. Here we go. One, two, three, four, five, six, six, our course. So this is Brendan Grace singing this. Remember, look for a safe place.

Two. Don't hurry, stop and wait. I mean, this is a sort of bangers. What's a lot of better? This is a lot of things. Shish are learning. Keep watching. That's the safe cross code.

That is a lot better. That is a lot better. That is a banger. Yeah. That is a banger. That was amazing. It's, yeah, so that was my father. What was it like growing up with him?

That must be amazing. Well, what was cool was, so my father was a musical director of the Late Late Show, which is like the longest running TV show. Fuck off. Yeah, I know what it is. Are you fucking kidding? Yeah, so, but this was in the 70s when you just played. So get this, on the same month in 1972,

my dad played with Fred Astaire and Bob Marley on that show. Because the local band just sat in with whoever the musicians were. so yeah this was it was definitely a showbiz kind of a family but it was the dirty end it was the non-glamour end of showbiz I think which is to go back to why do I like doing this

I really like the nuts and bolts of putting a show together and I'm still absolutely delighted that people want to come to see okay good call back to the initial question but I swear to God everyone in Ireland you do all know each other and everyone knows a celebrity because Ireland's so small like every other person is famous and we call Ireland I literally only just found out

that Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland just Ireland Ireland yeah

I don't even know Ireland Ireland okay so close for me though that very good Helen because I just found out my friend and yours

Neil O'Rourke who we all know but for years his great uncle was a two-term president of Ireland which one I don't know

what wow great uncle his mum's uncle was the president Island twice you know I wonder what era must be Patrick Hillary maybe I don't know very oh he does look a bit like Patrick Hillary the I literally found this out yesterday that's crazy I'll find out such such hub numbers but everyone is like like Neil O'Rourke that's crazy mad hey um do we have what's the name of your great grand uncle I want I want to Google him love

you yeah so so this so my great grandparents were revolutionaries like around the I'm an establishment of the, Yeah, well it was the original IRA It was called the IRB then which is the Irish Republican Brotherhood which is the secret organization And so my great grandmother was this sort of famous person

who organized the women's movement and she was called Kitty O'Dard She's got a great Wikipedia page Wow! Does it say where she came in the BBC New Comedy Award? She was unplaced. Oh no, no! Apparently she was very funny.

Yeah, apparently she was because she wrote books. Because the way that a lot of the revolutionaries made money in the 1920s was they kind of wrote books about their experience of the revolutionary period and she would just write the book for you. And yes, so she was like a ghostwriter for them. A legend. Anyway, what's amazing is, so that was my great-grandparents and then their children, which is my grandfather was one of them,

it was a group of wild people who did wild things in Ireland in the 1930. but one of them was Fehan O'Darty, Father Fehan Fehan Fehan, F-E-I-C-H-A-N I think I-N on the I-N

Sorry, did you just correct the Irishman? I'll go on the Wikipedia Let's get the impression to a minimum You spell it whatever you want, David, in our language. Do you know what he did in Ireland from the 1960s till his death in 1988 he was Ireland's official exorcist? Fuck all!

Did we have an exorcist? Yeah, we did. There was, like, Rome had an official appointed exorcist in every country. He was, he was like a psychologist. So I think... I don't think he was. I think he would go off in the middle of the night and people would be having what we'd now call episodes or breakdowns or whatever.

And he would be able to help them a little bit. Well, theoretically, that's what he was doing. Oh, my God, it's like, watch the Mave Higgins film about exorcisms of Ireland. Extraordinary. So good. It's so funny. But, like, I am obsessive. with this.

Did he go around, do the exorcism and then the family the next day would give him tea and say thank you so much there's someone down the road we're not sure about

kind of I think that was because it works on word of mouth that's the exact same as fringe exorcisms you don't honestly it is a word of mouth industry you've got a lot in common

with Fahan yeah I did oh that's you think I people coming to my show are the act of laughter is demons leaving their body 110% I never thought about it

It's either demons living your body or power, because I do believe Monster Zink has a point, and that laughter makes power. So it's both of those two things. So it's an exorcism power, and then because it's word of mouthfe, because it's like, how would an exorcist get their start, right?

Because it's tricky. Someone has to lie for you at first ago, he did a really good job at mine. Imagine the Bauer's all getting their separate videos out, and Helen insisting it's Monster Zink again, and then she delivers her one-hour lecture afterwards, her TED talk on how the monsters are in fact

contemporary exorcist. Sully is like Uncle Fahen. Oh my God, that's incredible. You are on his own Wikipedia page. Whoa. Fahian's grandson is the comedian David O'Dottie. There you go.

I wish you guys would stop trying to say the name. Fahan. Please stop it. Fahian over here and Fahan over here. No, they're both wrong. Here's my question is, I know we need to do a listener problem, but David's kind of brought his own podcast, and I know

that you made. I'm so sorry. No, no, it's wonderful, but I know you wanted to make your first, clearly pre-planned point, but did you have other things you wanted to get to before we did the listener problem, or do you feel you've covered your...

I feel my major topics at the fringe so far have been Rapunzel. Yeah. We've definitely dealt with that. Fascinating Aida. So they're in the room before me. Okay. And I just, I love them.

So they're like, in the era of no musical comment, they were doing it in the 70s and I love them so much Have you been to see the show? Yeah, it's one of the most incredible shows I've ever seen So I meet them every night afterwards They're, I think two of them are in their 70s

They just can tell you what it was like in the 1974 fringe You know, like that oh I love this I love this I strongly advise people to go and see it Okay, wow We will. Sorry, that's a... They're going to clash with me, unfortunately.

That's such a great show. Fascinating Aida. Yes. Okay. Any further significant points? I don't think I... If I have another one, I'll just come out with us. I will say for anyone who's not a friend who wants to be fascinated the idiot.

They often do Lester Square Theatre, if I've got this right. I think they do pop down quite a bit. Yeah. And they've got loads on mine as well. There's loads on online as well. All right. Great. Are you ready for a listener problem?

Are you feeling wise? You feeling helpful? I really. I'm very much enjoying this. Thank you very. I haven't ruined your podcast. Are you kidding? You're that's such an Irish thing to be like,

I've been a lovely guest and I've had a little bit of a chat. And now I'm apologising for being here actually and I'm very sorry that I've taken up your time. No, we wanted you here. You're one of the few men we've had on. It's a thrill. Can I just say I really think you should do who do you think you are as a TV show?

Oh yeah, you'd be great. Except the problem is I kind of know who I am. No, no, no, there'll be more. Yes. It'd be fun if they found something that just shook everything about you. You were like, oh my God. Yeah. You had one uncle who's done nothing

and is the most boring man at him. There'll be someone there There's an introduction Literally no one in Ireland knows him Yeah Who? Do you think you are gone? This is from H.

Hi H! I'm in the same-sex relationship with my girlfriend And we'll be celebrating For a lovely years together In August 22 To celebrate this, we've planned a weekend at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

Brackets, we're coming to see both of your shows on the weekend of the 20th Thank you. We've already seen you, thank you so much. Thank you for coming. This time has gone out. Sorry if we were mean to you. H and other walked out of both of your shows.

Yeah, 100%. You've ruined our four years. Go on. My problem slash dilemma is this. I love stand-up comedy and I'm extremely expressive when I'm at a show. I'm laughing. I'm engaging because I just want whoever I'm watching

to have a good audience. Right. Whilst they bear their soul to us. My girlfriend, on the other hand, sits with dead eyes. Oh, yeah. And acts as if she has no soul, no laughing, but the occasional slight exhale

through her nose. We come out of the show and I'm like, oh, no, you hated it. And she's like, what are you on about? That's had the best time ever. I want to know if it would be acceptable for me to not sit with her at the comedy shows, even though it's our anniversary weekend so that I'm not associated with someone in the crowd who has a face like a slap cast. Wow.

10 out of 10, I hope. I'm trying to think now at the couples in my shows last weekend. Really? Because all I can think about is whether or not the girlfriend makes any sound when she comes. That's wrong. Do you think there's a link between one and the other? There has to be, surely. Like, if you're going to, like, there's a certain type of person who's like, I really want them to know that they're doing a great job.

And there's another kind of person who exhales through their nose and says, are you kidding? That was great. I just can't believe it. To answer the question, 100% split up. Like, smile. Oh, my. You know what they were asking? Split up.

And then the other one just sit in a dark, dank corner where no one can never see you. Oh, you just think split up for the show, don't split up for the whole. I think also maybe split up. But, like, I just think for the show, 100% split up. The face mask is. era was very difficult, I think, for us, because most people aren't very expressive with their eyes. I remember, like, actually asking the audience, can you please be more animated? Because sometimes... Get those eyebrows in all the extra. Yeah. No, we're the see-through mass. That are good

for deaf people. Everyone do that. So I sometimes do it. It's like, if I'm doing it too half-show, sometimes to go into halftime, I'll be like, it's half-time, you're all going to go off and talk about me behind my back. side if this is funny, but I'm going to do it in front of you. I'm going to review the front row. Because in most of the venues we play, you've seen you do this. You can only see about 12 people. And part of your brain is just judging how well the show is going based on their expressions.

Oh, yeah. So this is not uncommon. The concept of the couple where one person is loving it and the other person just needs a vibe makeover. Oh my God. Have you ever been to either of our shows? That's pretty much all straight couples. The woman will be like, man will be like, why?

why it's happening to me right but then you address it and it goes wrong I did that literally like five days ago I was like oh she's really into it and you don't want to be here and he went no I love you I book tickets all this time yes I was like don't smile then because like my dad's never hugged me like you're gonna have to do something do something please try so it is yeah it's a tough one but each of their own like if she is in is in joy I think embrace it I think don't sit apart just sit there so then the performer can live look at the two of you and make a reasoned judgment that this is just one of those wonky couples. Yeah, I would have to say, I think you should sit together for a different reason. I think that you have to spread the cunts out, so I think you want laugh or sad face, laugh for a sad face, laugh or sad face. So I think sip a cider and then maybe try to find a... Are you... No, no, miserable cunts to the back, happy people at the front.

I mean, what Catherine seems to be going for here is a cunt section, whereby all of the misery guts all... But like, how do you pair them off at the start? I'm saying every second, if you know your partner is going to be a dick, then make sure you're sat beside them and then hopefully your friends, if you know, they're... So you're sort of like, guess who in the audience? Yeah. I agree with that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think all the, I want the section, like, cunts at the back. Yeah. Happy, really thick people. Comes to the left of me. People that would laugh at something that's just funny noise. You know? Yeah.

Like, I go like, ooh, and they'll go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like, that sort of level, front row. The problem is you'll have to conduct a sort of X-factor type audition audition beforehand in the corridor, where you stream them into the two. So you go this way, you go this, you know, and you, I want you up those stairs. That's what I'm going to do.

And I reckon I could pick them out just from just like them in the queue. I can tell you who's going to like my show just from looking at them. Have you ever got it wrong though and it's so upsetting? Yes, but in the other way, I have occasionally, I will be honest, I have occasionally profiled audiences because they've been so old, I've thought there's no way they're going to enjoy this. And then they've been absolute sickos and loved every second of it. Like real perverts, actually.

So that was great. I mean, I remember it from the fly. era where I would try and profile people by you can have one not you not and the not use were always people who were like sorry what's your flyer and I'd be like no flyers and just hiding them of my t-shirt then yeah it's for a ghost tour bus it's pretty exorcisms way it's it's the pito ghost bus you wouldn't you wouldn't I would so right on the pito ghost bus you can meet the ghost of peter files gone come on what a ghost bus David, thanks so much for coming in. Wasn't it lovely to have you?

I have terribly enjoyed us. Terribly enjoyed us. We really appreciate it having you. Where can people find the show? Yeah, is it someone just thinks that she doesn't follow David already? Or where can I find you on the internet? Yeah, I am frequently on the internet. And, yeah, so I have a dual career.

I write children's books for the under 12s. And then I tell rude jokes and sweaty rooms to be over 16s. I don't know, I was in that room the other night and you were talking about fleshlights and there was definitely a child beside. I know, it's so hard to talk about fleshlights in a way that 12-year-olds couldn't relate to. Hard to make it family friendly, actually. 12-year-olds relate to flashlights. To the listeners, I was trying to.

Trapped on an island for the first nine months of lockdown with my parents. And I was asking nature to send me a gift. And one day a flashlight washed up on the beach. And that's his story and he's sticking to it. Had seaweed growing in it. Incredible. It's beautiful. But I can find you on at David O'Darty, Twitter, Instagram.

Do you TikTok? You'll find me all those things. No, I think that's, I think that's a big tree farm. I'm 46. Good free. Oh my God. Good for you. Absolutely.

I'm 31 and I don't. I need to catch up. Yeah, you can still. I know, I still need to do it. I know. I haven't got me excuse yet. Soon, though. Soon.

Say thank you to David. Thank you for having you, David. Thank you for having you, David. Thank you for having you, David. David O'Donogne, everybody. I'm sorry for all the bad things men have done in the world. What the fuck? You can't just end our podcast.

No, 100%. Cut it! I'm going to be able to be.