Trusty Hogs - Ep51. LEO REICH / Ibiza, Infections & Icons

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Fresh from his award-nominated debut Fringe run, we welcome the brilliant Leo Reich! A style icon to many London lesbians, and a very funny comedian, we chat to Leo about all things rooftop kisses, parental relationships, and the late Queen…Follow Leo: @leo_reichThank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Kierah Leach / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes  / Sarah & Molly  / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie ChiversWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You buy a pair of socks, that's two socks. You buy a pair of Bomba socks, that's four socks. Because one purchased is one donated. Sox are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters. So when you buy a pair of super comfortable Bomba socks, you're also donating a pair. Bombas customers have powered over 150 million donations. So Bombas would like to thank you 150 million times, but we only have like 30 seconds. Go to Bombas.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase.

That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout. Hello, welcome to trusty hogs episode 51 and fuck me. We got a lot to tell you there are some parish. I cannot believe you're smiling right now. I'm so happy. The funeral is happening about 100 meters away. Oh, right, yeah. We are in mourning.

We is a big word. We are in mourning. Your queen died. She died without any answers. I don't know her. As to what happened to Diana. We know what happened to Diana. She killed her.

Yeah, we know. A murder is dead. She should have made a bedside confess. I I don't why do we need that we know the facts I need it I know it we don't need it we know it okay that's fair we've never needed it we've known it to be three fuck the old hag yeah I mean fuck the system good morning it's trusty hugs um hey wait hold on you're sending any we're sharing an email from whom from the BBC sounds team just just let us know if you're going to cover the queen's death at all in any of your episodes just flag it up for

us are you serious I don't acknowledge her as a queen so a lady died A thief even. She has all my money. A thief. A murdering thief died. And we will be acknowledging it. Are you going? No, you're here with me. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs.

Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine And if the trusty hogs

Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not Wait, weren't you tempted by the queue? Dude, I'm Irish. We don't need to have this conversation. This whole country is so fucking weird to me. I mean, honest to God, just fucking find a guy who can get rid of snakes and worship that, you weirdos.

Listen. St. Patrick! Yes! Just be normal for God's sake. Jesus. be normal. Hey, listen, I'm looking my, I'm only four t-shirt with Helen's face on. Amin I cute?

It's great. I love it. She's modeling it. I can't believe it because I'm going to be five next year. No, you're not. I am. Helen, that would require gross. Perpetually four. That would require gross. I'm growing. Your tits don't count. Okay. I'm going to do an intro to this because I feel like it's already gone too far. What has happened in the last

seven days? Hang on. First of all, this is episode 51. It's incredibly hard to focus because A, your tits look great, but also you have a giant toothpaste stain that looks a lot like a cum stain. And it's very hard to focus, actually. Any other big-breasted women will agree that it is very difficult to brush your teeth. Sure, but you know what I wouldn't attest to you that it's that difficult to get the toothpaste out or change your outfit. I was in a wash. I'm going to wash it for you at lunch.

Listen, it's episode 51. This is Trustee Hogs. It's a podcast where Helen Bauer and I, Catherine Bowhart, talk about our beautiful lives together. and then we help you solve all your problems because you send in your sad, sad stories but we're thrilled to hear them. Now here's the thing. We have some parish announcements.

You ready for it? Yes. Are you going to be respectful? Yes. Okay, because there's a lot to cover. So much to cover. Oh my God. Parish announcement number one.

Helen was in hospital. Of course she was in hospital because she went to also the same week I did live at the Apollo, which would be a parish announcement, but Helen stole my fucking thunder. Of course you did. Parish announcement number two,

we will get to it. Let's really dig in because my God, I have some issues because it really also stole my thunder on the night of Apollo. But guess what? Andrew's boyfriend. Fucking gorgeous.

Yeah, obviously. No, no, no, you don't know. I've met him like several times. No, you don't know. There was that like progression of an outfit changed through the whole evening on my night of Apollo. It's rude. Parish announcement number two is that race is rude.

Sorry if we're not naming them. Parish announcement number three. You did live at the Apollo. I can't believe that one came first. I mean, and I understand little Helen in hospital. But, like, three, you did life at the Apollo. I did life at the Apollo, and it was terrifying. Oh, you crashed.

Four, you went to Ibiza. Oh, four, I went to Ibiza before Apollo, so there's so much to say. Oh, God, should we just, and then five, I guess. Queenie died. Queenie died. She ain't no queen. And we now got a king, baby. I don't have a king.

I have a king. I don't have a king. I have a king, and his name is Andrew. Aw. Prince. Could you imagine if they skip to Prince Andrew? Just King Pito, let's go. King, Knott's King, Knott's king.

Finally, as if none of them have been nonses over the years. Yeah, true story. It's like, come on. Yeah, we should look at the ages of Henry the Ape's wives. I bet one of them was like 10. Yeah, or we could just be like the queen married her cousin. What?

When? What do you mean? No, second cousin, no? Oh, my bad. Second cousin's chill. Don't be a, Rudy Giuliani married his second cousin. It's not a big deal. Our arbisher.

morals. What? Hey, good morning. Hello. How are you? Dead. Okay, so let's talk. I don't know what you want to do.

Where to start? Okay, should I, can I, should I just, I'm going to talk first. You go first. I'm going to say that we came back from Edinburgh. Before Edinburgh, I signed out, I got live at the Apollo, which was so insane. My, my agent called me. I was in the bath. She texted, she called on it.

And I was like, I didn't answer because I was in the bath. And then she texted me. Do you always talk on the phone in the bath? I know, but not to Hannah. Not to Hannah. I can't be nude if I'm going to get in trouble. Not that she, I'm ever in trouble, but... You actively call me in the bar.

Yeah, because I like to do my phone calls from there. I'm sploishing and chatting. It's nice. Annie, I don't video call. You won't let me. And then I, um, even though I look adorable. Do it next time. Let's have a look.

Okay, fine. I'll screen shut the fuck out there. Don't you dare. And that's why we'll never do it. But I, um, I got this call and I was like, no, I'm not going to answer. I'm too vulnerable in the bath. So then she texted me was like, call me. I have news.

And then I was like, oh! So I called her back. and she was like, do you want to do live with the Apollo? And I was like, do you want to do live at the Apollo? I know. I was like, okay.

It's so exciting. And then I know, it was so exciting and then I was one of the first ones booked so then I couldn't tell anybody and then I went to Edinburgh. You told us immediately. Okay, I told you,

but you're my, you're my person. You're my wife. Come on. I was so happy for you. My wife, my life, I got to tell you. And then I had to go to Edinburgh

and act like, everything was fun. Yeah. And then, um, And then I was just like, I honestly don't think I've eaten properly in about a month and a half because I was so physically nervous, which is so weird. I've never had that kind of reaction to a gig. Like, I really couldn't see before.

And a gig that you've done before, you've done that stage. I know, I've done that room, but I don't know. I was shocked by my physical reaction to it. Like I just, it was just so, it just felt so. You say you weren't eating properly, but I saw you drinking many in espresso martini and having many a Thai meal in Edinburgh. Yeah, no. rank gloves.

I didn't say it wasn't but that's liquid calories isn't it I'm not saying I wasn't imbibing calories or that

I was trying not to I'm just saying I found my body very nervous and then the gig came around and Brittany

found me a beautiful dress and gorgeous shoes green shoes and you did look fucking slamming thank you darling and then it was so nice because my family

couldn't come but my gorgeous friends I know you were away but so many it was so funny so I went in and the other

were like, God, I have so many guests and one of them was like, yeah, I have six. And then Sekeesa was like, yeah, I have 12 and I was like, I've invited 25 people. That's what I was thinking. When you were listing it on the morning you were filming, I was like, fuck me. She is gone to town.

I'm Irish and I'm 34 and unmarried. This was my wedding day, baby girl. I was inviting everyone. So I invited everyone and it meant that I was terrified for the gig. I don't know how people do that and aren't like it's sick. Oh, I think everyone's black husband.

Oh my God, my knees were going. I could hear my heartbeat. When I first went out, I was speaking so brressily that I was like, take a fucking minute. I cannot wait to see this clip. And then I did the gig. I left out a bit as you always do and like forgot a tag or whatever one was like beating myself up. But then I went to the pub afterwards where all my friends were and everyone was so gorgeous and nice, except Andrew and his boyfriend. And it was so supportive and lovely except Andrew and his boyfriend because everyone was like,

oh my God, you're great. Have you seen Andrew's boyfriend? And I was like, I'm sorry, we're not going to talk about me for like five seconds. Andrew, let's get into it. What was boyfriend wearing? Oh my God, it was like there were reveals. So first of all, I'm sorry, I'm going to interrupt. There was a bodysuit under a jacket.

The jacket was divine. The jacket came off. There was the body suit. The bodysuit on zips, so we were getting increasingly more chest torso. Oh my God. Also, he's stunning. Yeah, he is. So bear this in mind, Tim and Dom of Gigla's fame drove with Andrata from Birmingham to see the show.

Jesus Christ, amazing. All they could talk about was how hot Andrew's boy. boyfriend was. I was like, cool, just did live at the Apollo. I got nothing. And then I saw Andrew's boyfriend and I was like, it's a lot of process. And that was the whole evening and we had so much fun. I just love that there were like people there from Giglis. Like it just goes to show that we have completely bland the lines on this podcast as to a listener and a friend. No, but can I tell you, the Jesbians came to you and I'll tell you what. So basically when I realized my family couldn't come, I really wanted people in the room who have supported me and

who liked my comedy. That's really nice. I know that sounds cringe, but I just, like, I knew that they would, and they did. And they were really kind, and it felt, like, kind of magic to have them there. And I really appreciated them coming. And so, yeah. Half when? They were, like, the Jesbians were, like, proud aunties.

It was amazing. And then all my, like, best friends, except you and Chloe Pets were away, which is totally fine. And we had the loveliest time. She says totally fine. It's totally fine. Listen, it's fine. They're like, people do Apollo all the time. And, um, no, it's fine.

Me and Chloe are totally cut out for a while now. No, you're not. I can feel it. We are. We are. I have to run this. Oh my God. Also,

I'm running this half marathon with Chloe pets. Of course. For which I have trained in no way. I sponsored. Thank you so much. Thank you to everyone who's sponsored. We've already hit our target. You guys are amazing.

I knew you were going to crush it. So great, but it doesn't mean to have to do it now. It's going to be the slowest half marathon that's ever been run. But I'll finish it. And I'm talking very fast, but I'm very happy and very happy. Because you're happy and excited. And you should be because it's like a really.

big thing. Yeah. Like for anyone who doesn't know, like, out, like, in comedy in the UK, Apollo is, like, one of our biggest things you can do. Like, I think it's just, it's that. Like, that is the iconic one. It's the thing we've all been watching as well for a year. You see the clips over the years.

It's also been going since me and Catherine, like, before we started doing stand-up, like, we grew up watching it. Like, the first woman on it ever was Joan Collins. Like, it's just, sorry, Joan Rivers. I was like, John Collins. No, she's great, but she was not on it. No, she's great, but she was not on it. No, no.

Who have I got wrong? Actress? Girl care, lots of husband. Footballers' wives. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes, yes, she should go on it. Was she on it this year? No, but they should book.

They should book. They should. But I think it's amazing and you should be so proud of yourself. Now Helen's news. I was just going to say it's a really nice kind of like circular moment because one of our first episodes

we were discussing Helen's Apollo recording almost a year ago. Literally, Catherine recorded it the day after I recorded mine to the year. I was September 14th, you were 15th. Comedy gal. How mad is that? It's mad that we met on a, we met on a balcony at a gig,

well, in a gig where we were both doing a new act competition. But was recorded? Which was recorded because it was the BBC New Comedy Awards. Back in the day they used to put them straight on the radio. And we met and like literally no one else in the room was speaking to us because we were the only women and because I think... We were also the only two smoking. Yeah.

Hey, no, no, Mom, I wasn't. Oh, yeah, me neither. Me neither. I don't know. And I smell kind of nervous. I'm sorry, Mom. And when she's horny. Fuck off. And then, um, you're not wrong. And then, uh, we went out to the balcony and we bonded and that's how he became friends. And now look at us. And then you got on a coach.

Yeah, I got on the night bus home. You got a night bus home and I got a lift with my uncle back to his and then went to Bristol airport back to Germany. and I was like, that car was really nice. We did, we used to, I used to do so many night megabuses because I couldn't afford hotels. There was so, there was such a long time where I used to wait in casinos for my, lower the cinemas.

Casinos, whatever would be open so that you'd be safe before the bus. And now, hey, look. And I just don't think a casino is that safe. No, I agree. So all over the UK, we've got casinos, but the really cheap ones where like there's just one person working there are called casinos and they are incredible.

It's safer than waiting on the street. if you're a woman and you're waiting for the 2 a.m. I don't know. Depends on where on the street. Outside Hamleys, you're laughing. But it's not open at that area. Oh, I just think of everything in London safe at the moment because of the queue. Well, I wasn't in London.

We were in Wales, weren't we? Did you hear about the queue though? No, no, no, we don't have time. We won't go into that then. We haven't got into that then. We haven't got time. We'll tell you on, okay, we'll do it in the extras. Awful stuff in the queue.

Okay, so then you, um, while this was happening, you were in Oslo. You rang me on the day. It was really funny. Helen gave me the best pep talk ever. She was like, nobody watches it. Just all you have to do

is get a hot photo. That's the only thing people will see. I do believe that as well. I will say that with TV appearances, all you need is a nice picture of you in front of the sign. And no one gives a shit. It's true.

So I was like, because you were worried about your set and I was like, all you've got to do is smell at a photo shoot and you know how to do a photo shoot. You can crush it. You got your outfit and I was like, she's got this.

You could go on stage, shit yourself and ride around on it. And they'd be like, fine. Do you know what I was going to fall over because I wore heels. Crazy, I can't believe. Big heels.

I just think it just shows how much of a boss you are that you wore heels. Thanks, babe, thanks. I slid out on trainers. I wish I had. It was crazy, but also when Britt tells me

to wear something, I wear it. Okay, so then, you're in the meantime in Oslo. Cut to Helen. Hi. That's like the subtitle for this podcast, isn't it? Trustee Hoggs, cut to Helen.

It really is. It's our tagline. Cut to Helen. Helen talking about Helen What happened to Helen Helen Helen Poor Helen Poor little Helen Poor little Helen

That's new She was only little And I was so on the 14th I flew to Oslo And I was like this will be really nice I was going to go to the Viking Museum I was going to see Edvard Munches The Scream

Did you do this? And hang out with a friend and do gigs Did you do the Viking Museum? Nope Let me tell you they really really slide over a few details. Oh, the raping and pillaging. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They kind of keep the pillaging. That's the best bitch. Keep the pillaging, but that's really it. Okay, so go on. So I get to Oslo and everything's fine. I do my first gig, really lovely stuff. Amazing club, Lotto. Loved it, big fan.

It's great, isn't it? Gorgeous, just gorgeous. And the Noritanax are really lovely. So nice, and I'm like, can't wait to see you guys every night this week. This is going to be a great week. Next morning, I wake up. I have a breakfast, buff. A buffet mistake.

Big mistake. We don't know what that happens. I can't believe you've been undone by a breakfast. I honestly, livid. Because it was a good one as well. So I was like, I'm going to enjoy this this week.

This is going to be a great week for hell on a buffet. And then rung you on my way to Edvard Munch's gallery. I remember you were like, there's one famous picture. It's going to take me two seconds. Yeah, yeah. And it took me a lot longer than that.

Good. I got sick as fuck. You got so sick. My stomach was like cramping quite early on in the day. And I was like, what's happening? happening i've already had my period so i just assumed it was like a double bonus month or something yeah and then it wasn't and i was like i feel really sick managed to get back to the hotel and was like

really like sweating and in pain i met up with panilla holland who's like a comedian who used to be here but now she's in norway the nicest woman ever i ran into her running when we were i was running with cloy pets when we were training no way i think training the only run we actually did we saw prenella on but anyway go on she's the best i said to her I was like, I feel really sick. We had a Schulerbrot thing, which is like a cake, because I was like, I still won it, though. Oh, yeah, come on.

That was my undoing. Absolutely. I got back to the hotel, and then I just, I vomited for like 36 hours straight. And I was so sick and so dehydrated and just got really, really ill. And I was like crying because I was like, oh my God. I hate that you didn't call me. I never get sick. Well, you were doing Apollo, so I didn't want to call you.

I know, but I hate it. So I thought it best not to tell. Catherine so I run Then you let me find out on an Instagram story That was a mistake Hospital gown She's like in hospital and I was like What the fuck is going on?

I was like oh god It finally happened She didn't know she was pregnant Here we go Don't that's what I thought I was like oh fucking hell I'm having a baby on a toilet I'm having a baby on a toilet

That's why I was like for fuck's sake What kid do I have to look after Because I wasn't I wasn't even getting The fun through poisoning diarrhoea I was just getting the vomiting So then I called the travel Thank God I've got travel insurance So I called Francis and I was like

I'm so sick and she was like I'm only six And I was like I'm four So we were just both crying and panicking together So then I was like I'll call Heidi and Kat Right Fucking smart as shit And they went no you need to talk to a doctor there Who can like examine you

So I called up a doctor and I cried On the phone saying I was really scared and alone And they went You need to call an ambulance and I went I'm not being fobbed off with that right Because I know what happens it's in an ambulance and they send you a bill for two million pounds and I was like I'm not fucking doing it so so I got in a cab I think so okay I'm pretty sure so then I got in a cab and I went to the emergency room and I just cried my eyes out and then I vomited up everything again in front of them because I had a sip of water because I was trying to hydrate myself because everything I read was hydrate every time I hydrated I got more dehydrated and I was getting very confused they gave me three drippies whoa do you have bruises not really oh they did a good job well done there they did a really good job like nothing really is it that's good that means they found

the vein well they found vainy really good yeah and um doctors are really nice yeah and then they put me on the gastro ward which was just me and really old Norwegian women nice it was incredible and they were all like oh hi hi hi and I was like what's up and they were like oh to start and I was like oh tooth the dark and just pretending because they all think I'm norwegians they look Norwegian right and they didn't have a room for me so I have had to be in the corridor, but this really nice, cooey door, and this really nice man made a little booth around me. And this Norwegian man kept him coming up and going like, blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, I don't understand. He was like, well, and he was like, I feel really sorry for you. And I was like, oh, I'm going to cry more now. I actually am devastated that I wasn't too scared of me. And then I was like just by myself all night crying. And it really bad pain. I'm so mad if I'd known I'd have gotten on a blog. And then I was really, really thick.

And then I messaged Pernillo and she came. and then she came again the next day. She doesn't even know you that well. She doesn't even know me that well. That's so nice. And then she came again the next day and she ate the food that was just for the patient. We need to send her a gift.

I said thank you. We need to send her a gift. Okay. I think we should have her on the podcast next time because she said that I was being really weird. I was like, apparently I was like screaming all the doctors like, don't judge me because I'm English. I didn't vote for Brexit.

I'm one of the good ones. Incredible. Incredible. Just screaming. I got a rectal exam. My first anal. Baby's first anal? Finally.

Baby's first anal? Honestly, the nurse came in at one point. What did they use? Let's be about four in the morning. Fingy, yeah. No, why? Why?

You didn't have any diarrhea? I need to take some more bloods and I was like, no problem. I was like, and she was like, has there been any blood in your stool? And I was like, I'm telling you now, I have not shit since Wednesday morning. Right. And she was like, there's got to be something in there. And I was like, I'm telling you, nothing is up there. and she went, I'm checking.

And I was like, hmm, okay. And then she came back with a lubed up finger and she went, turn over. Gloves? Glovee, maybe glovies. I'm sure gloves. I was too much pain to look. So I bent over and my bed.

I like turned over even and pulled my train. And I had my first anal experience. How was it for you? She told me to relax and then she didn't tell me again so I'm assuming I was incredibly relaxed. Can you tell me? Very welcoming asshole. How was it for you?

I honestly. don't even know if she got anything out. No, I didn't, I wasn't asking if she got anything out. I was like, was it okay? Was it painful? Are you all right? I don't actually know. You felt nothing? I was so sick. Whoa.

I mean, I was so sick to the point where like I hadn't eaten anything. Oh, my darling. And they sell chocolate covered crisps in Norway. Yeah, indeed. Yeah. Yeah. Let's not get into it. Yeah.

Let's not. What happened? Are you okay? You're okay now? I don't know if I'll ever make it out again. Oh, baby. It was awful. Are you eating again?

Yeah. Good. Well done. And you're all right? Tell the people at home you're all right. I'm going to survive, we think. And I told Sunil because Sanil, I'd message Francis and then I messaged Sanil being like heads up.

I'm in hospital, but everything's fine. But I've told Francis as well, just so two people knew. So I was like, happens if I die in hospital and then like no one's there to sort anything out. Don't say that again. I hate that. And then never. But then you know, you get worried.

I don't know what they're saying. And I'm also really saying. And fucking call me. If you're like thinking I might die, fucking call me. What's wrong with you? You were doing Apollo way. I wasn't doing Apollo the whole time.

I did 20 minutes. You could have called me. I just don't think it's appropriate. The next day you could have called. No, you were celebrating. No, I want you to call me in future. Okay. Ew.

Gastro ward. I'm on the gastro ward still. Helen, no, you're not. Don't burp up. A lot of women farting around me. Helen. It was absolutely. It was like my dream war.

Helen. Yeah. Apologize people for burping in their podcast. Sorry, I'm sick. No, you're not still sick, you're fine. I'm fine now. Say sorry. Zoe!

Okay, this is the best reaction. So I messaged my family being like, just a heads up. I got bad foods poisoning or some sore of virus, but spent the last day in hospital, all good, blood and CT all clear. Now just sipping drinks, all okay. To my family WhatsApp group, just because I was like, maybe I'll put a picture on Instagram, so they don't see it, like blah, blah, blah. And then my mom's saying, oh, my God, darling, are you still in Oslo? Are you on your own? And my brother said, oh, sounds rough.

And I went, no, no, honestly, it's all good. And then my sister said, you know mom cooked a crumble with coconut without realizing she's stupid. Immediately and a picture of a cat running around like absolute madness. My mom's allergic to coconut. And then 10 hours later, my dad, just catching up with the news. Hope you are feeling better. Looks like you are, looks like you are tribally today. don't know what that means.

No, no idea. Tripoli today. Okay, and then never knew there were red squirrels in Poland. Wow. Same breath, same message. Wow. And a video of a red squirrel he saw in Poland

is with his girlfriend in Poland. And then the next day, a picture of him in Poland saying, are you feeling better? Behave. That's it. That is it. No call from any of them. What the fuck?

Nothing. Just, do you know, there's a red squirrels in Poland? I mean, do they are very rare. You need that? Who gives the shit? You're doing the world's in hospital. I didn't know, but they are quite rare. Yeah.

They've got Red Squirrels all over Germany. It's not like he's never seen a Red Squirrel before. Who gives a shit? I could have been dying. I wasn't. I didn't make it clear in the message. Yeah, the Red Squirrels are dying. For anyone with an autistic dad, I see you, I hear you.

And even though we know that the reaction isn't going to be what we think it's going to be, it is still always going to be a bit mental. It's always worse than you hope. That's mad. Yeah, no, that's all over the show, Michael. Oh dear. Do you know there's the red squirrels? in Poland.

It's a good fact. I can barely breathe. You fucking kidding me. Isn't that just from all the smoking? Yeah, the smoking. I didn't smoke either. That's how sick I was. Whoa, you got it. That's good. I didn't smoke. I didn't eat. When they told me I could eat after my CT scan. They were like, you can't eat or drink anything. So they thought they might have to do an

operation. And I was like, I don't know what that's for. But I didn't want to ask, right? So then they were like, you can go and eat something now. So I went to the dining room, just me and all the old ladies were like piss hanging out of them was so good they were so nice they were so smiling at me do you mean catapid

is that what it's called oh that makes way I was like why would be piss hanging out of the head does that even worse that makes way all of them just walking around with bags of piss

and I was walking around with my drip and Panilla was loving it she was like look at your drip and I was like I know that's amazing that's amazing so much fun

so and then I got home I got home I got home and I still felt a bit sick And then I wanted to watch Married at first sight but Sunil had watched it all without me Which is unkind

But Emma Black's going to come over tonight Tomorrow No you're not Yes I am unveiled Don't I'm going to name for it as well Unveiled I'm all dying I know

Fuckabola that's the one That's the one So you go on and talk about it With Vogue Williams I'm so excited I'm so excited Oh my God our podcast rival Well, no, the one we're aiming for

The goal The trendsetter I thought we were aiming for Joe Rogan Isn't that like the biggest podcast in the world You have said some stuff That if it came out of Joe Rogan's mouth Would make some of that Actually, if bogs out of people would be like

What the fuck? But Joe, know that makes sense So Jesus Christ Yeah, I'm really excited That's tomorrow And then the last thing to say Is that I did post Edinburgh

I went to Can't believe you're going on unfailed I'm sorry, that is like, my Apollo. I know, my sweet. No, but like, Apollo was your Apollo. No, but I would delete Apollo to be on unveiled. Yeah, okay, fair. Wow, you can't believe this.

The fee is not the same. And then... What is it? One free marriage? Leave only. And then, can you imagine finally? Don't. And then we, I saw after Edinburgh, I did like six days of gigging in a row because I needed to work in 20.

And then I went to Ibiza with my friends. fucking I forgot about this is how bad it this is like how much has happened to a Wes Anderson themed hotel which I booked in a dark point remember that because I booked it because I was so sad and I was like I need to go on a holiday and I don't have a girlfriend and my friends

were like we'll go with you to her yeah doesn't matter like so we just booked it in my bleakness and so went to this beautiful you don't need a partner to go on holiday I know but I didn't want to go by myself that's really bleak no exactly I'm not saying you need a partner but I needed somebody I was like

So they're like, we'll go on holiday with you, fuck's sake. So good. I thought we were going to the quiet part of I be the, nope. But we had such a good time. We went salsa dancing on a roof. We went to a super club. We went, I danced. I had a great time.

I also got food poisoning day two. Yeah, but like not hospitalised. No, not hospitalised. So not really. Not really then. No, just like staying in bed for the day. So not proper. Throwing up.

Not proper. And the whole kitten caboodle. And then. You get diarrhea. I'm not going to talk about it. And then. Helen's sure No

Catherine had a frothy coffee coming I'm her asshole To someone want a frappuccino Oh god No she can't finish that drink What would she say that She can Is her asshole

Oh Oh androm Can you see the eyes? Yeah What does I do wrong Was it the asshole reference Helen We talked about my asshole

Okay I'll be quiet Helen Can I have my gift Helen I'm so okay You do not deserve a gift now I'm going to

give it to you but I'm going to say first of all before I do what do we never talk about Catherine's poo there you go I brought you a gift don't make that mistake again that actually made me really unhappy oh my god very sombre tone today and not just because of the funeral

I literally we can hear the funeral happening outside that's what's so disturbing and that was what upset at her Giftings Gifties! Gifties! Gifties! Serve these? Yes no I don't deserve it, but I've been so well. Okay, fine.

Oh, dear, poor Helen. There's two things in here. Poor Helen. One is a gift I bought you. Yes. Wait. Okay. Wait.

This is, but there's a best. And then Karen got me one too. My best friend Karen at home sent you one because from one best friend to the other. Yeah, I love Karen. I know. So, this is from me. She's a snatcher. She is a snatcher.

Oh. Oh my fucking God. Do you love it? It's even got a piercing like yours. Oh my God. Wait, I'm going to put this on my Instagram the day this goes up. That's amazing. This is incredible.

This is incredible. It's a bridge magnet of a giant rack with a pierced nipple and it says Ibith on her chest. Show the camera. What's the number on the back? Show the camera. No, you got to go into, it's titties with nipple pierce. It's incredible. It says Ibiza, it's got a lizard on it.

It's got four, five roses, two really pronounced nipples and a pierce. this is the best gift of my life. It's like it was designed for Helen. When I saw it, when I saw it, I was like, and then also, then I had to take it to this, like, really uncomfortable man. Like, he didn't sell all the fucking boob magnets. He acted like, I was the weirder. I was like, you're selling them.

But then he was like, it was so tense. But there you go. So Neil is going to fucking bust his nut when I bring this home. I guarantee tomorrow morning I'll wake up and he's just wanking in the kitchen. Losing his absolute mind over that. I cannot, number one, you knew I would love it, but I'm just so proud of you for picking it up and buying it. Thank you.

Because I bet there was an internal monologue of dignity in your brain about being like this. The Anne was like, you should get that for hell. And I was like, fair enough. It is the right thing to do. Did you get yourself one? No, obviously not. Jesus Christ. Andrew.

I'm so happy for you having. I love it. And there's a number on the back. Giant rack. There you go. What happens if we call it? I don't know, my love. That's for you to find out.

Oh my God. Are you ready for? Are you ready for? Another gift, another gift. Ready for a much more dignified gifts from Karen? Yes. Yes. She sends you these.

Oh my God. It's an anklet with an H on it. Isn't it so cute? Isn't it so cute? Is it too? Is it good? It's a golden Pokemon card. It's a Charazard.

Yeah. Fuego esplosivo. La Mada atro. Oh my God. Did she do good? I can tell you what that is. That is fire blast. Mm-hmm.

I think Lamada Astrid. Maybe that. What's, can I see? It's a golden Pokemon card of a Charazard. That's really cool. I cannot believe this is the best day of my life. Are you having a good time? Oh my God, and the anklet?

Yeah, it's cute, right? I want to wear it. I want you to wear it. I thought it was such a cute choice. Oh my God, I love it with an H on it. For her royal highness. No. For her royal highness.

For a ha-ha, we got you, murderer. Nice. Thanks. Where's, wait. Can I wear it as a bracelet? bracelet. I think you could. Do you want me to do it for you? Yeah. No one's stopping you. I'm not going to tell anybody. It's actually really cute. I'm not. I love all my gifts. I'm so glad I think I thought you might. Oh my God. Karen, thank you so much. That's really nice. That's actually really cute. The H. Don't mind if we do. I'm beautiful. Catherine, I didn't get you anything from What's like? Because I was in hospital.

Mm-hmm. I was in a hospital. They don't have a gift shop in the airport? They did, but I was... Honestly, Helen, I can't tell you how much I don't want another ugly fucking magnet, so we're good. I know, but if I got you that, you'd be over the moon. I wouldn't.

I don't want that in my house. Not even for, like, fun. I hate having it in my house while I waited to bring it to you. Oh, I want to send it to snail, but I also feel like it's not the right thing after you sent that message. No, I should leave it, shouldn't I? Yeah, let him respond first, and then if he behaves appropriately, he can get a picture of the tits.

Okay, that's fair. Also, we haven't even discussed the queen yet, because I found out in a very odd way. I don't want to discuss the queen. I think we should do it with our guest. Okay, fine. Because we've got the most amazing guest. He has the most incredible guest. I love him. What an unbelievable

Edinburgh this guy's had. What an incredibly sweet angelie is. What a style icon. What a funny, funny boy. Are we ready? What a show. What a showman. Are we ready? Let's bring him on. I think I'm ready. It's the incredible Leo Rike. I went to hospital. Hi!

Hi. Leo, right. Leo's here! Oh my God. Can I tell you the most wonderful story about Leo, please? And Leo wasn't even there. This weekend I was at a footballer's birthday party. Because you're going through a confusing time.

No, because I'm going to fuck off. I'm just hanging out with a lot of lesbians. No, you're transitioning from bisexual to lesbians. No, I'm not. You're transitioning. I'm not. I'm not transitioning. Wait, stop the press.

Catherine's hanging out with a lot of lesbians. Who saw it coming? It's so mad. No, but I'm really like going back into my youth. So anyway, this is like... We're still insisting on being the most fan. That's the best place to be fam. I'm like a shiny decoration.

They all get very excited. I love that. I want to come now. I'd be the most. Speaking of, hey, fuck you. Second most. So we were at, I was at this party and this woman was wearing this amazing top. And I was like, gorgeous top.

And she was like, thank you so much. And then the lesbian beside me was like, Leo Reich has that top. What? Yeah, it's the one that's like the, like, the body type black with the, like, detailing. Do you know what I'm talking? Do you think you wore it to a gig? It's like...

No, it's your show outfit. My show outfit? The misbehaved one. Oh my God, that's so funny. Okay, so it's like, Leah Reich has that. And then everyone... Okay, Leo Rike doesn't have it. That's Leo Rite's outfit.

I know. I know. So then pause, hold the presses. So then that's what was the next sentence that came out of another lesbian's mouth that was like, like, Leo made that outfit. And then, and then the lesbians on this entire balcony all turn in and like the following top that Leo Reich has, I want. What about this over that Leo Reich has? I want.

Then one of them was like, I asked him about a top and he sent it to me and it was like a hundred and seventy pounds and it's like, I'm not that expensive. I'm not that cute. Like I don't deserve it. I remember that. Leo Wright deserves it, but I don't deserve it. Are you fucking kidding me? Endlessly about how fit you are and how good your clothes were and how they all kind of

of their style icon. And I was like, but also my dress is cute, right? This is so nice. On some level, this is so nice, but I'm also really realizing that the only people who find me attractive are lesbians and straight men.

I think you're fair. That the only... And Helen, great. Yeah, great. Helen thinks I'm fair. Wow. What a ride that would. I'm sitting in an absolute shift

and you know I fucking would. You know I would. Okay, I'm swooning. I'm gonna fucking tear you. I'm gonna fucking tear you. Actually, I do like that. That's nice. That's nice.

And also the last time I saw you, We were on a rooftop. We were on a rooftop and it was like 9 a.m. But actually it was like midnight. No, I think it was like 3 a.m. Okay. Is this post-Ogars? Yeah.

Yes. So we all- Classic. I slunk off. Okay. You got in a taxi because you couldn't walk to the club. I know because I'm not. It was a 20 minute walk.

It was wearing a heel. It was a 50 minute walk. It was a minute. I was rabid. I was absolutely rabid the whole evening. I was so excited. I was so listen. So listen, we went to Olga Cox 30th birthday.

It was great. It was great. It was. sexy goth themed everyone looked fucking incredible it turns out that should always be the theme I think I'll just dress accordingly

everyone looked fit then we went to this pub afterwards and then the pub was sort of dead so we were like let's go to this roof so we went to the roof but then I took us it the wrong way in the taxi so we went like that was so fun huge divergence through Central

wait so you got in the taxi with Catherine I got in the taxi with Catherine so I said no to this taxi That is so fair enough but as I'm getting into the taxi I'm having a conversation with some like just some random guy that I met in the smoking area

like literally had been having it for like four minutes yeah and he was like where are you going and I was like I'm going to a friend's roof and he was like oh that sounds really cool and I was like you should come so then this guy gets in this taxi and because such is the power of Leo right it's a moment

it's a moment I'm behind them in this car being like what's happening this guy's gorgeous I know also because it's the wrong way we're going on a full tour of London like absolutely like open top bus I don't want to have Uber that didn't... Oh my God! I can't even...

No, you don't need to answer you. No, don't chance for her. That's why you got me on the pod. Just slip it in. Oh, I spent so much money on the Uber. No, it was my fault. Everyone waits for me to jump in and go, I know, I'll transfer you, I'll transfer it.

It was my stupidity. Trust me, Catherine fucked up and it feels good for me. No, it was so my bad, but I take it in the wrong address, you think. I know, you're apologetic as well. It was really funny. So then we get to this roof and then, it's like, four lesbians and, Leo and this boy, and we are all like, we've like basically pulled up our chairs.

We're like, is it going to happen? Are you going to kiss? It's so funny as well, because he's like, I really come into my own when someone is like really quite like somber and pretentious. Yeah. Oh, he had both going on. I really hope that he doesn't listen to this. Why would he? He's not going to.

What I mean? Why would he? Well, when I say what he was like, you will realize. Yeah. So, so serious. Yeah, very serious. So, so serious. And he was like, talking about, like, like, just various.

Oh, no. European art films in the scene. I pretend I'd seen every single one. Like, every single one, he'd be like, have you seen Marianne's Wish? The 1963 Paul Schrader film by blah like that. And I'd be like, yeah, I love the shots. And he'd be like, I love the shots as well, also.

But even your example sounds more like a hallmark movie than a French art of Marianne's Wish. She's dying. She's dying and her mom so sad about it. Oh, but then you get to say like, oh, no, no, no. It's actually really amazing. It's just a bad translation. Snap's for that.

Did you come back on and do a lesson at some point? This is my special skill is to effortlessly sound really pretension. It was gorgeous. So I was there, but then Leo's agent and indeed yours was there too and when we wanted to talk about them we were just kind of squelga,

we were just speak in Irish and she's a Guelgur so she's fluent and she was as drunk as I was so she was speaking so fast and in Irish. Don't make out because you're drunk. I signed with this agent at the beginning of Fringe and every time me and my agent tried to have a meeting

or like anything because we just started working together at Fringe it's mad Catherine would appear out of nowhere and the two of them would just go in like a two-hour chat-a-thon about Dublin and the Emerald Orias it was insane

and then they get to the end of the long conversation they've had totally in Irish and be like don't worry it's not about you I don't think I don't what I can tell you who it is about

I will tell you who it is about it was it was about about you and then we got to the rooftop and then it was like will they won't they let's watch very closely

and then it became this person couldn't have seemed more straight though no to me like agreed but I was still hopeful for you I was like Leo can do it

and then we all went downstairs on purpose and the next thing I know this guy is like running down the stairs like Cinderella it's like it's 12 and I was like

where are you going man and he's like I gotta go I gotta go meet my friends and I was like okay so nice to meet you I lied through my teeth and then It's actually been a very odd vibe

And then I met you and I was like Did you kiss on your head? And I was like, we kiss And then the whole The room full of lesbians erupt like Yeah! We did! We cut one man! Well, it was kind of nice

Because I didn't kiss one single person The entire Edinburgh Finch Festival That we'd just been to when that happened. But you were like, well, you were busy storming it. I was so annoyed. I was absolutely livid about it the whole time. I was going around to literally everyone being like

anyone, do you know anyone I can kiss? Can you find me some of guess? I would have grown people. Why didn't you ask me? But what? Also, I know. Like, we're talking Turks. Do you know what the worst part is?

The worst part is I know that Leo did kiss somebody, but it's just discounting them because they're a lesbian. Oh, that's so true. No, I had fun, fun friend kisses with people. Where it's like I kissed them on the mouth and it's like, oh, nice. But like, not like a romantic. No, it's not like you find me hot, so you've kissed me.

You've got a random friend of that. Oh, maybe it was. It was kind of that, but in a way where you're like, we're friends who are both, it's so gorgeous. You're thriving? I'm sorry. I was trying. I was like, what can make this even better would be a lovely kiss? And then he had a kiss.

And then I had a kiss. That's so funny because I was very similarly minded. I won't get into details, but what I will say is that until week three of the fringe, I was also fuming. I was like, hello. Then you really made up for him those last night days. Yeah, it is. Holy fucking shit. Who knew you could scissor in the courtyard?

Who knew? I'm sorry, is it a job fair? Is it an arts festival? Or is it, let's see who can get scissored and fucking fingerband to absolute hell whilst the guardian fucking reviewer walks past? Review that! How about you, that'll that be progressive? Review that.

Interesting. Wow, I give you an inch and you will take a fucking mile. We're not talking about this and then I bring up a mind of an inch. You gave me an inch. Thank you, absolute state of the two of you. Like teenagers. Yeah, it was really nice, though. Like teenagers.

Okay, we were... In retrospect, it was nice. At the time, I was like, I see one more person. Snogging in the courtyard, I'm gonna kill someone. Selly A.B. was like, this is only acceptable because you're so well-dressed. She's like, if you looked any worse, it should be fucking vile. Yeah, that's true.

That is true. You both, like, neither of you were, like, sweaty, disgusting in Edinburgh. Edinburgh, like, so Edinburgh's split into, like, the comedians who were, like, thriving and glowing from the energy of it. And then the other half of us who were just, like, constantly, like, there's like a syphilis thing going on. Yeah. Always a bit damp. Like, nothing's quite dry. There's a bit of an egg smell. Yeah. The skin is yellowing. You had an egg in your bra. It wasn't a bit of an egg smell. It was a distinct.

I had an egg smell. But. You had an egg in my brow every day. The reveal at the end of her show is that she would take out of the egg out. I haven't seen the show. Yeah. I haven't seen the show. Well, you've just ruined it. Oh. But you've just ruined it. I have not been able to see your show

because I can't get a fucking ticket can I come to Sowell? I know it's sold out I know it's sold out Why? Should I do this? This is what they do in like Joe Rogan, isn't it?

It really is. I don't think. What's he going to say? What's he going to say? Oh, no, don't stretch it. They're prattas, baby, don't stretch them. Are they? They're so nice.

Where are yours from? They're from a knockoff glasses, shop online and they cost $12, $5.50. And they look a fucking gorge. Thank you. And I think this is. Exactly the kind of glasses they wear on Joe Rogan as well. I think so, too.

Slightly winged, uh, Zara-esque. If we're talking about Joe Rogan, I feel like we should first talk about our queen before we talk about our king. Okay? I have no queen, we've talked about it, but your queen died. I know.

Can I tell you what happened when I found out about the queen? I was in Maidenhead. Of course you were in the royal borough. That's already a bad day. By wins the castle. Okay. Don't be respectful of my home camp, please please. please be respectful of my people

okay I'm from Hampshire I will be respected okay okay okay we are in mourning I am in mourning because we didn't get answers about the Muslim baby and the murder we're each picking our own way right I arrive at my gig and I'm doing tour support for who? Jess Foster King gorgeous

lovely night lovely night I arrive there I go to the bar to order some food a girl I knew as a teenager is working behind the bar we are really getting a blow by blow at this And also, sorry. You're doing a 20 minute set to open for Jess not far from London

and you're ordering food. Yeah. Are we getting a full meal? The queen is on her death death. I'm a comfort eater. What did you order? I was waiting for the confession to come in. I wanted to get a tijin, but they'd run out.

So I got chips. Where was this gig? Norden Farms are center. Wow. A tajin. Jesus Christ. And then? Not from Harrod.

No, I mean, just not. No, no. Stop, stop. Stop, stop. Agreed. Let's cut this, let's cut this bit out. What'd you do next? What'd you do next?

It's already good. I cut everything, Helen's first. No, no, it was me. Just cut the dodi bit. Go on. Oh, the dody bit was my favorite bit. That was my fault. Okay, we'll just leave say cut the dody bit in.

Yeah. So you thought the, yeah, so you thought you were ordering it to Jean. In honor of Dodey. No. I basically, they'd come around and they'd been like, oh my God, do you want to do the gig? Because the queen's sick. And I was like, yeah, we're fucking doing the gig.

the gig and Jess was like, oh no, no, and I was like, we're doing the gig. Not that it's my choice, but it felt like it was. And then they were like, we've got, um, they said to the people at the bar, they were like, oh, we're going to do an announcement, like a practice announcement for like, what happens if the queen does die. Uh-huh. Because we've got an announcement, we've got to play because like a government owned, like, whatever.

And I was like, okay. And then like two minutes later, it played. And all these women in the bar started crying and burning and burn. No. And I was there with Jess and with this girl I know Rosie. And I was like, it's, it's a, it's a practice. It's a practice. not actually dead.

So I was like, we were all gathered together. I had my phone out. I filmed us going like, it's not real. It's not real. It's a woman crying. Oh my God. Because I was like, they should say it's a practice announcement. This is so ridiculous.

I didn't say it's a practice announcement. It's not real. It's not real. I'm looking at people like, no, nah, nah, no. And I'm laughing. And I'm doing hysteria. And it was real. No.

Oh my God. Oh my God. And then you do the show? And then we do the show. And I took a couple of missteps and that. absolutely did not realize that people who because I was like yeah people really care

people who are coming out still to see the show they won't care right oh they do in the Royal Barra yeah of course they do they were having absolutely none of my shit whereas last night I gigged in Bristol

the place where they tear down statues don't mind if we do and they were so with me we had to do the countdown I had to be so basically I was opening this show Fin Taylor could only do five minutes because we had exactly 25 minutes

till the moment of silence I would... Oh, it's nice to give that opportunity to an open spot. Isn't it not? The five to start, five to start, yeah. And so he does five to host

and then I go on and we're doing basically a countdown to the moment of silence. Celebration. And then we... She's a grandmother. But it was the opposite whereas I couldn't go far enough.

These people were like, wouldn't you hate her so much. So real, real opposite ends of the spectrum. Well, that's exactly why I've always said this ever since I was born don't do comedy in a maidenhead. I said that. No, because I'm going back to Maidenh

What are you doing? No. I just feel really comfortable in the home county. Yeah, that's right. Always have, always will. Do they take to you? They take to you.

Regardless, they do it to Gino, the bars. One of us. It's surprising. Isn't it mad? I know. But that's why I wanted to order it. Here's my question, Leo. Yeah.

You had the most amazing Soho. No, run in Edinburgh. And then your Soho Run is already sold out. And you won't get me a ticket, which seems to be. No, I absolutely will get a ticket. It's a much. I'm going to ask Breed in Irish. Yeah.

And I cannot wait to say, I cannot wait. Quino, what of a turkid place? But, and then my question is this. Are you going on tour? What's your, what are you doing? I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't know really want, I don't know.

I actually don't know. There is no, I feel like you panicked that. I am panicking about it in general. Yeah, but if you tour, you tour. If you don't, you don't, I didn't tour my first show. You toured your first show, no? Yeah, you should do a couple days, a few little days? Maybe.

Your little days. Where are you doing your... So you're doing how long at Soho? Two weeks of Soho. You're going to extend or do a bigger room? There might be a big room thing coming. Coming up. That's my guy.

Wembley Arena. Wembley Arena. The studio at Wembley Arena. 54th Theatre. Black box. Trust. It's going to be great. I'm really excited about the room.

The Fringe. Loved it. I love the... I love the... Edinburgh Fringe Festival and I was going around beaming and everyone was like, you, I'm going to kill you. No, I had a lovely time to do. Did you? I did. Although I maybe I had a bad time of the first three because I don't remember. It really picked up for you at the end. I think also like you were going into Fringe in like a really good space. I've done a tour. You'd also like you knew you had Apollo.

Yeah. And that was like a nice little confidence. You had nothing left to prove to these fucking pigs. That's true. My sales were good. I was so lucky. I was so lucky and then you've unto you have you have answer you know the only lucky you know the only early morning

she wakes up knock knock knock um done that's good no so good so hot now do you want to fuck her I did before but now I'm doing

perfect mom it's you there Okay, it's crossing over into hypersexual, which is actually intimidating. Oh, really? It's too intimidating. Keep a little bit of my dad's sister's. Really?

Little mystery. Yeah, it's too much. You're being desperate. You're being desperate. Oh, baby. For your daddy? Yeah. Take it back.

Take it back a bit. How's your relationship with your dad? So nice. Yeah. I have nice. Everything's nice. That's nice. Yeah, it's a really good relationship with my dad.

That's so cute. And also my mom. What? Oh my God. So lucky. Tell me, do you live with them? I live with them. Wait, do you want to get into a good relationship? That's so boring. I know. Well, it is boring. I have nothing to talk about. He lives with them. I live with them. He seems cooler than that. He's not. I think that's an interesting fact about Leo.

That is an interesting. I think that it's fascinating. It's quite cool house. It also explains why he can spend all those money on those gorgeous tops of the lesbians. That's true as well. Yeah, this is great. It is good. Do you have siblings? Do they live at home? My siblings, well, my siblings lived at home until my sister had just gone to university. yesterday. Oh my god, hashtag so proud. I know. She was so nervous. I was crying, crying, crying. I, like,

have a picture of her going off in the car with her teddy bear she's had since she was six. Just clutching it. You didn't want to tell her not to do that? No. What kind of brother are you? I kind of want to see how it goes. I think do it for the... Take it to class. Do it for the story. Do it for the story. I think she'll thrive.

But then she went about an hour after she got there. She sent text the family group chat saying, by the way, I'm slaying university. I was like, okay, I can't think. That was so funny. By the way, I'm slaying university. An hour in. Oh, that's going to be a fault.

That's going to be a fault. Yeah, it's going to be up and down. It's going to be up and down. I love that for her. Me too. I'm so excited. I'm the eldest. I'm the middle, obviously.

Obviously. I'm the middle. Obviously. Really? That explains our energy. It really does. I'm the eldest. Yeah.

That explains your tone. Yeah, it does. And so, who's the eldest? My older brother, Noah, who, gorgeous names. Yeah, he's nice. Noah Leo. End of list.

Ruby. We're talking Jewish here, baby. We're talking Jewish. Jews, Jews. Of course. That makes... Half Jew. Actually, a lot of Jewish people

get annoyed at me because they're like, your mom's not Jewish, so you're not Jewish. And I'm like, okay, let's maybe not talk about the purity of the blood. Yeah, let's not.

That hasn't gone well for us in the past. But also agreed. But also, if you feel it, like, if you are... I feel in my bones, I had a bar mitzvah. You had a bar mitzvah. Uh-huh.

I knew I loved you. It makes sense. All the significant relationships in my life has been with Jews. With Jews, really? Yeah, biggest, longest romantic relationship. My agents are Jew. Wow.

God, there's just a, there's a specific... New podcast, my agents are Jew. My agency is. You got a lot of guests. I can say it. I can't. No, but I'm just saying, because... We love to pull the strings.

I think there's a Catholic, like, Jewish connection that is just so, like, we're so... So, it's gorgeous. Also, it's gorgeous. The German. I'm sorry Sorry Sorry from the German side of me

And sorry from the English side of me Are we forgiven? Water under the bridge You know what? Well, you are much more forgiving than I I just think like let it go Let it go I think cancel culture's gone far enough

Thank you I think in hell We're going to podcast Joe Rogan You're Rogan It's all forgiven It's gone far enough We've been under the rug

So is a Nazi for 10 years. Look what are we going to... He apologised. I love that. It's Leo. Have you seen some of these English podcasters now wearing the sunglasses?

You look so cute in that outfit. I would love... You would slay that outfit. The thing about sometimes actually what I'm wearing now, I like to think that I wear something that a straight person would have worn like 10 years ago

and bullied me in and then I wear it and I like to think that it's sort of queering the idea and everyone else thinks that I'm actually just to have a lot to talk about in therapy. No, reclamation baby.

But surely you'd already queer because you do the Curly Girl method in your... And because I'm queer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought so. Do you...

Queer, interesting. Do you feel like... Oh my God. Is any of your family queer? No. Okay, so only one special boy. I'm the only one special boy. I came out like...

When was I? I came out... 19? 15 years ago? Mm-hmm. In Ireland, to tears, obviously. And concern. And then my sister came out.

like three years ago. I would lose my shit. She came out to flowers in the bisexual colors. No, you're kidding. Okay in the bisexual. Listen, I'm glad we're progressing. I'm glad we're progressing. I'm glad we're going to you walk.

My sister often says actually, well, if she listens to this, she'd be like, she texts me like, don't put me in a box. And I'm like, okay, Harry Styles. Like, honestly, what the fuck? Yeah, it's a little queer baby, but it's also hilarious that you think your sister knows if she's queer when she's just gone to university with her teddy. Let's maybe let her figure some stuff. Oh, is that queer culture now?

It's not, listen, I think she's got some discovering to do. Yeah, there's some anxiety there, and that's, that's, that's queer culture. Ruby's got some learning, didn't you? I got two teddy back. And you're the straightest woman we know. We know this. We know this. We know this.

I'm okay. Yeah. I'm okay. I'm okay and myself. Okay. I feel like it's so weird that we can hear the funeral happening outside. I love it. I like it.

It kind of makes me feel cheering. We need to solve a problem, don't we? We absolutely do. Oh my gosh. You know the premise of the... I know the premise. I know the premise. Okay.

He does his research. The loosest of premises. It's a good premise. The elevator pitch slays. It's so good. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Come on.

This is from C. Hi, C. What's up, Cunt? Oh, whoa. Cause Cee. Yeah, Coo C. All right. Get with it.

With it. Okay. Well, this person you just called Cunt. I'll open their message. I'm 16. Oh, that's a tough start. You know what? I met plenty of cunts for 16.

Oh, they're the cuntiest. They're the cuntiest. The cuntiest. Hi, 16-year-old C. Okay. I'm 16 and I've just got my first ever boyfriend. Congrats. Dump him.

Our relationship got off to a bit of a bad... Did we know the gender of C, not that it matters? I believe C is... We don't know. It's okay. Female, yes. Okay. I'm 16 and I've just got my first boyfriend. Our relationship got off to a bit of a bad start with some communication issues about

what our official label was. And I also wasn't sure if I was really that into him. But... Whoa. That's not a bad start. That's just a sort of fancy my boyfriend or is he my boyfriend? She's 16 just figuring... That's every 16 year.

That's the funny thing I've heard. Okay, wait, we have to hear the whole thing. But we've been dating for about two months now, and I do really like him. He's very kind. Two months in! Yes! He's very kind. And it's always treated me nicely.

We got close mainly over the summer. and we're now back at school. We haven't been back at school for very long, but he hasn't spoken to me at all, and during an activity in class, he got put next to me and very obviously moved away, which caused everyone to look at me

and even laugh a bit. When I asked him about this, he said he didn't notice and he had, and it wasn't anything to do with me. He also said that he just couldn't find the time to hang out with me and that he wasn't going to completely drop his friends for me,

even though I wasn't asking him to. No, no, no, no. I just wouldn't like to be ignored. He also made it clear he was going to talk to me because he doesn't want me he also made it clear he was going to talk to me

because he doesn't want me and my friends to slag him off which makes me feel like he doesn't want to talk to me because he likes me that same night he told me he loved me which was very confusing because I have no idea if he means it or doesn't want me to be mad at him. We still text

all the time but I'm starting to feel like he's a bit embarrassed to me since he's starting to get a bit more popular at school and I don't really know how to handle it. So relationship from the summer carries over into school a bit of an awkward tension in the in school

any advice and thoughts much appreciated much love to see love is an action not a word and that is not love my friend that is give an ugly boy an inch

they will take a mile you knew who was ugly at the start yeah you were like I'm not that into it this guy's treating you terribly and you've got to say goodbye bye bye bye you don't get to treat me like that and also What the literal fuck?

How dare he be manipulative and be like, it's fine that I cheat you like a piece of shit because I love you. Fucking do one. This guy is incredible. Yeah. He has learned skills. It's kind of a sleigh.

20 men did not figure out until 25. So number one, fair play to the 16 year old, toxic little cunt, who clearly has not like trained under the game, but has watched itch. Yeah. No one's doing. This 16 year old boy.

might be Prime Minister one day. So seriously, like, take pictures before you dump him. Incredible. Because you might want to do a book. Oh, my God, this morning at some point. This guy is... This guy will be wearing sunglasses in a podcast studio

before the year is out. Yeah, I agree. He's going to do drama A-level, and his final piece will be him doing a monologue about how women don't get him. Yeah. I honestly hate that for you, see? Listen, trust your gut.

I think you know exactly what's going on. I think you know when you wrote that email that that is not okay but enjoy this first toxic relationship yeah when you get to do this first like boyfriend at school thing once like mine was so boring I was like 12 and I got dumped in the canteen on by his friend on behalf of him like and you only get to drag out this drama one my first toxic boyfriend broke up with me via text in a room full of his friends that we were both in and then sent me an email out like having treated me so appallingly about like six months later being like I've actually decided I am in love with you and I remember I was in France

at the time and I sent an email from like an internet cafe that said like lots of capital letters laughing which is insane like I just sound like ha ha ha which is mad now I think of it but then I said I don't think we think love means the same thing oh my god I'm crying bye wow bisexual okay you can see take that do that just like take that email like just be like we clearly define it differently if you think it's treating someone badly I don't think you should even explain. I think, yeah, do it publicly. Do it publicly.

It was so painful in the lunchroom because I had to go back and sit with my friends and be like, yeah, whatever. And we'll do good time. Fuck off. Like, do that to him. What an absolute one.

And first toxic boy? And what? What was your, first toxic boy? Um. Leo is the toxic boy. I'm usually the toxic boy. No.

No. I, first toxic boy, maybe when I was like 12. Yeah. But, but. This is the worst. It's a different vibe. Toxic boy, different vibe, which is more like,

shh, everyone will be very quiet. If you tell anyone this, I'm going to kill you. Oh, fucking. Which actually, now is actually thinking back, wow. Wow, I am sweating. No, I was like this as well, just because your toxic boy is awful to you. By the time I got to A levels, this guy starts cycling around my house and wanting to have sex with me. I think you should humiliate this person.

I think this person needs humiliation. No, but also what you're talking is dissimilar to what this is going through. Just keep it on the DL. Yeah, just like, please don't talk about me with your friends. John Tucker must die. John Tucker must die. John Tucker must die. Watch it.

John Tucker must die him. That's what you do. John Tucker must die him. Watch the whole film and then you get your like three other girls who have been spurned by him at some point. And you make a group. Yeah. And then you ruin his life. I think she might be the first spurned girl because if we just cycle back to the start, it did sound like he wasn't very attractive. Agreed.

I just, I hate to keep coming back to that. that, but that is so important. The state of the lads at my school who had partners. I know. It doesn't matter. I know. Edinburgh fringe vibes.

Can we also just say one thing? Yeah. Too fucking I goes frotting to no one's business. Frotting. We're beautiful. I only just love what frotting is. I know. I don't hear anything from you,

but I will not hear that I didn't look good in. And can I snowball off of that? I won't hear frotting. Yeah. I actually won't hear frotting. But I've only just learned the words. Can we do one thing? Can I just talk to see for a second?

Truly, I felt so unattractive as a kid and teenager that I got to my 20s and was so grateful that anyone would show me any attention or affection that I put up with a lot of bad behavior. Something I'm still trying to un-learn. And what worries me most about your email is that despite not intuitively thinking that this was the right person for you and despite their bad treatment of you now,

what you're holding on to, the sentence that worries me most is like, he was kind to me and I just want to say and I wish somebody had said this to me and I hope that this you can hear me when I say this that is the least

the least someone who you are dating should be to you like the bare minimum is that they be kind to you and when that ceases it doesn't it doesn't buy them more time because they one time were kind to you or for a moment were

that is the least you should be able to expect from somebody that you're giving your time and energy to you're 16 you have shit to do you want to go to school you have your friends you like have your own things to discover you don't spend any time on anyone who thinks it's like for whom you have to be like this one time they were kind to me that's not fucking novel it's the least they could do he got to go you got rumour i think just no i think john tucker must die and also you've got sats to get on with

or whatever you really do it also and like hair to die and more importantly um please message us and tell us what happened yeah we love you and we think you're fucking great and the next person will be better yeah if they're not you'll get rid of them too totally i really want you to break up with him, but I have a horrible feeling you're going to end up at prom together and go to the same university. No. That is a fear.

I've seen many close friends end up in that situation. I'm both going to go to Cardiff. I think my only thing, you must end it, but please don't end it in a way that's like sit down and talk about your feelings, and in a way which is like you,

goodbye. Yeah, I agree. You don't need to talk about it. He doesn't deserve them and he can't be trusted with them. He clearly doesn't care. about them so why would you give them to him to him? Yeah. Bye. Bye. As Catherine said in her famous email when that person said that they were in love with her, bye. Ha ha ha ha ha, bye. Yeah. We think it means

different things, bye. Or wait three years and then give them a blowjob while your mum's downstairs making dinner. I think do both. I think you both. You're not me to lose clothes. I think you both. Probably spad ball or something I'm like. Something I like. Leo Reich. Hey. God, you're a nice guest. Oh, God, it's been a dream. No one has me on their podcast ever.

Isn't that so weird? Is it because you're too cute? I'm too intimidating. Too cute. That's also why I don't get any kisses and the people don't reply to my text. I kiss you. I kiss you. I kiss you.

Wow. That's the worst thing a German has ever done to a Jewish person. And that's including the Holocaust. We got there. Yeah. Back page. This has been Trusty on

Fuck it up Thank you so much for listening Is everyone relaxed I have a lovely evening Please give it up one more time for Leo Rike Woo Leo

You're soho run is sold out So if you want to come see you What do they keep an eye on a website And Instagram or Twitter Keep an eye on my Instagram And I will be posting something soon Something big About a big show

Please come Please come At Leo is tired. Yeah, that's on Twitter. That's me on Twitter. And Leo Reich on Instagram. At Leo under dash Reich. As in Reich.

As in Reich. Yeah. Guys, let Leo know that you would kiss him if you would. Oh yeah. Text me or whatever. DM him. DM me. Please.

I'll DM you later. Please. Okay. You are going through such a whore phase. I'm really happy. I've already kissed Leo. So, wait, is that the one you're denying at Edinburgh? No, that's one of you.

No, that wasn't Edinburgh, it was posted. Oh, yeah. It was I found out somebody else had kissed Leo so that I wanted to do so that I asked and then I did. And then Leo said that I was a better kisser. I did say that. I did say that.

I did say that. It was gorgeous. But I got real soft lips. We both have nice big lips. Yeah, we have very plump lips. You actually do. You've got very plump lips. Thanks.

Yeah, I know. I was in hospital. Goodbye. Bye! Bye! Thank you. With so many options, why choose Arizona State University? For me, the only online option was ASU because of the quality.

Their faculty was really involved with their students and care about your personal journey. The dedication to my personal development from my professors, that's been extremely valuable to me. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university. Online. That's a degree better. Explore more than 350-plus undergraduate, graduate and certificate programs

at ASUonline.asu.asu.edu.