Trusty Hogs - Ep52. ONE YEAR SPECIAL!

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

One whole year of Hogs! And to celebrate our 1st Hogiversary, Helen’s planned a special surprise featuring linguistic challenges, cookie eating, and one of the strangest audio experiences on the show to date…Thank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Eddie Doyle / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes  / Sarah & Molly  / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie Chivers / Graham MarshWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and t-shirts. Warning, bombas are so absurdly comfortable you may throw out all your other clothes. Sorry, do we legally have to say that? No, this is just how I talk, and I really love my bombas. They do feel that good, and they do good, too. One item purchased equals one item donated. To feel good and do good, go to bombus.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout.

Hey, folks, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's hard for me to believe we're talking about back-to-school, but whether you're thinking lunchboxes or nourishing dinners, Whole Foods Market is the place to shop, and their high standards allow you to shop with confidence. Their house brand, 365 by Whole Foods Market, has everything you need for quick and convenient breakfast, lunches, and dinners from oatmeal to trail mix to wild fish sticks. Explore the many ways you can save on Back-to-School foods at Whole Foods Market. Welcome to episode 52 of trusty hogs. My name is heaven-bound. We're still really good at this. Christ a lie.

That was good. That was good. I actually thought that was... Welcome to the podcast. Catherine cry. One year in and we can absolutely lip-sink with each other for the opening. That was incredible. Wow.

Catherine cry. Why can we never do it? Stop and stop crying. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah. You're going to give them your problems and they will solve them. Or maybe they won't and that's your problem.

They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's hell. Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs. Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not. Welcome to episode 52 of trusty hogs. We've been doing this for a year. We still can't speak in tandem. And honestly, I think we should stop trying and that's fine.

But today. But today. We will be learning. Well, let's talk about it. Before you tell me what's happening today, I just need to remind everyone that on the six-monthly episode, Helen got to plan the guest. It's the only time she ever does any admin

and she booked a psychic. Did I hate it? Not as much as I thought I would. you know what, I'm open today. We're on episode 52. We've been doing this for a year. You've booked the guest today. I don't know what's going on.

You know I don't love losing control to it. Please tell me what the plan is so that we maybe have time to change it in the next eight minutes. First of all, I know we went through our year in the extras for our patrons. So thank you so much for our patrons. We just did a recap of the podcast for the last year. And honestly, if you're not a patron, you should go on there just for that. It was real fun. It was so much fun.

Do you want to say, happy a year anniversary? Happy year anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy on the birthday. Oh, actually, would you like a little surprise? Yes. Is that what was in that box? What is that? I knew there was something in there for us.

Who's it from? The thing is, I've given my parents' address to so many people. I know. I'm not actually sure who this is from. It could be from one of our executive producers, Mary Fox. It could be... It's the middle of people. It's the millies cooking.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I'll read you the no. But I'm not. I'm gluten intolerant. Shut up. I'm not. I'll read you the note.

Contains wheat, milk, soy, egg, is that gluten? Yes, but it's okay. I eat all those things. To Helen, Catherine, Emma and Andrew. Congrats for making 52 wonderful episodes. If Helen has another bloody sigh, Catherine has permission to eat her quarter. I don't.

Oh my God, it's mine. This is so cute. And we don't know who it's from. No, we'll find it. They'll tell us messages who it's from. Messages, messages, messages. Oh my God, that's amazing. It says oink

Happy Anniversary Happy first hug a birthday That's incredible Oh my I take a picture of that So yeah thank you Who said this amazing cookie Really appreciate

It looks amazing Oh my god it's chalky Are you opening it already You're opening it already It's double chock round single layer Double Chalk round That's honestly the best icing I've ever seen Oh my God

Catherine you can have the box I'll have the cookie Also by the way do not worry that I'm sorry that I'm the one who's tricky And also it's so fucking amazing Helen taste it taste it taste it as good Is it good as a good You're gonna bring it home

Have later Me and Andrew will share it with me now Yeah yeah yeah also I've got Emma Black coming over tonight Heaven So me and Emma Black can eat it Actually that's amazing thank you so much Oh my God we're so fucking lucky

We're so spoiled We really are. We've got gifts for each other. Please do put your name on anything because we really appreciate it and we want to thank you properly. We want to know who it's from. We want to send you nudes.

This is such a cool gift. I'm not sending nudes. I'll send you a nude. I'm not sending nudes. Me and Andrew will send you nude. That is a whole other Patreon level that I don't think you can afford. No, people are back on.

It's going to cost more than a cookie. It's going to ask. Yeah. Not for Helen, but for mine. I took those like nudes again the other day when you're like, oh, I'm not taking a nude but I felt like I had like a cyst or something. So, you know, when you're, like, taking a picture of, like, you're like, what, like, what do they call it?

Oh, my God, it's my dad. It's my dad. He never calls me. Whoa. Michael? Hi, Helen. I just, I felt you up to see how you are. Oh, my God.

I'm doing a podcast, but I'm good. And that is like, wow. Thank you for calling. Yeah. Are you impressed? Are you impressed by my sensitivity? No, because when I was in hospital, you just said. Do you know they've got red squirrels in Poland?

Were you impressed by that? No! No one was! Oh, my friend Catherine was impressed. Hi, I was so impressed. I didn't know. They had them. I thought they were extinct, Michael. Hello there.

Hello. You used to do an impression of an Irish accent. Fucking sick, Dad. Okay, I'll call you. Oh, hi, Marie. How are you? Very well. Excellent.

Oh, good. You drank a lot of vodka and behave well Oh good So he just got drunk on holiday Did he? Yeah Yeah

Anyway, leave it because you're on your podcast Whenever you Okay Okay, I'll call you later Okay

Bye, bye Bye, bye Did you get all of that? All of it Did you get all of that? Yes, I got all of it That was everything Whoa

That's like The fifth time in my life He's called me Well, no wonder You're very rude to him The fifth? you're a very reason to me he took it in his stride

yeah he's easy to he was quite patient with what was frankly quite a lot of abstinence from you me yeah I thought so are you serious I thought he seemed like a nice guy I love his girlfriend as well she drank quite a lot of vodka but they still saved well

but he still behaved well don't you I don't worry hell and your daddy behind one oh no I love her I love how she's so iconic. Listen, that was adorable. Are you impressed by my sensitivity? God, this episode has it all a gift from a stranger.

Please tell us who it was. Call from your daddy. Don't mind if we do. He did my accent better than you can, which leads us, actually, you know what we're doing to take, don't you? I have an inkling. I have an inkling because ages ago you said that maybe,

are you, just tell me. And also, this person did approach. us the other day. Yeah so I gathered at the party that maybe this would be happening. Right. I think I mentioned this ages ago that I thought this would be a fun thing to do. And I thought we'd all forgotten about it. I never forget anything you say. So, it haunts me forever. And ever and ever. I have booked us a dialect coach. Oh my God. Why? So we can learn to do impressions of each other.

Yes! But I can already do you. No, you can't. Apparently my accent is very difficult, she said. Your accent is really difficult, I agree. Apparently, very, very difficult. Because I thought I just had generic Southern, but apparently it is a little bit more tricky. It is really tricky. And I'm going to learn how to do an impression of you.

And we're going to properly learn. Great. I can't wait for that. That sounds like fun and not at all, like an hour of torture. No, this is so good for us, because I'm sick of being told my impressions aren't good. They are shit. Your firm, Brady one was amazing.

There we go. Yes. Her fern is great. My Helen's okay. Helen's Catherine is dog shit. She's from Armagh, I think. She's like very Northern Irish. Give us a blast, Helen.

Hi, I'm Katrin, Bo. Oh, no, it's different today. It's different today. I pronounce- Oh, hey, I'm Katran. I pronounce my THs. Katrin. Catherine.

Catherine. I pronounce my T-Athron. Catherine. Catherine. You know what? The dialect coach couldn't have come sitting in off. Let's get her in here. Yay!

What's her name? Sarah. Sarah. Yes, I'm really excited. I knew you'd love... Do you know why? Because it's like school. Oh my God, could one of us do better?

Great, let's go. Of course. Welcome to the pod. Sarah! Yay! Yay! Woo! Oh my God!

It's me. It's Helen and I'm going to my first tour ever. Oh my God! It feels so weird. Like even though I know I said I was going to do it ages ago, I'm now like, oh my God, I'm actually going on tour. Tell them where you go. So many places.

Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberystwyth, Maidenhead, Norwich, Bristol, Manchester, Birmingham, Shrewsbury, Brighton, Cambridge, Nottingham, Oxford, Leeds, York, Liverpool, Leicester, Newcastle, Berlin. London Soho Theatre. Bloody hell, no excuses. No excuses. I saw that show in Edinburgh. I'm going to go see it again in Soho. It's so fucking good. She's a genius. She doesn't need a microphone, but she is good. It's good. It's funny. It's loud. lovely time. All the tickets are on my website at helenbauer.com. UK under live. Please come join me on tour and please bring people with you

because it's my first tour and it'd be really awkward if it's just me and one half. Only four and five star reviews. God, I guess it's actually really fucking good. No, I got a three and a half. So talk. Okay, yeah, only four and five dollar reviews.

Only four and five star reviews. We love her. I did get a three and a half from one guy and he literally did not understand the show and he was like, women were crying. I didn't get it.

It's a good review Thank you so much for listening to my advert You come see baby Helen Poor little Helen She's only four Poor fat Helen See you there Hi

Oh my god I'm actually freaking out when starting It's so excited And you're still eating a cookie It's crazy Oh my god Hi welcome Thank you very much

Thanks for having me Oh my God! She'll shout the whole time. No, I won't. I won't. Unless you shout, in which case I'll be learning how to do an impression. I don't, but she does shed. I'm so sorry. No, that's fine.

I've got my prep. Yeah, okay, cool. You've heard the product. I don't know where that came from, Sarah. I loved it. I loved it. Sarah. For the listener.

For the listener. Nope. Okay. I was going to say, how long we go? Thank you. It's bad, right? It's bad. It's bad.

Listen, I'm not. I'm a coach, I'm positive, but I'm not going to start with the bad. Right, because that would be rude. It would be rude. But speaking up, for the listener, you're a coach. What do you do? Let's tell them. So I'm a dialect coach, is the official term, but I find that people don't know what I do if I say that.

So accent coach maybe is. Gosh, that's cool. The more. That's cool. Where'd you like to do that? At different universities, I guess. The Harry Enfield School of Refression. Yay.

You've been. It's great. It's so. That's where I like. You got in? I wish that was a thing. It's where I learned how to do my queen. Ready?

Please. Oh. Come on. That's lovely stuff. That's very, very good. That's lovely stuff. We think. We don't know.

We don't know. We don't know that's what. Show me the body. Show me the body. This is such a shift from she's already dead that you've been doing for months. Yeah, exactly. Have you been doing that for months? I know a lot.

Yeah. I thought she died last Christmas. Yeah. the rumor about the people making merch already. Correct. But then obviously it was the Jubilee, Plattie Jub. So it could have just been Plattie Jub's merch, you know, but people thought it might

be death merch. Ah, uh, uh. Still death merch. Right. They've already got the designs for the King Child's coin. Come on. Don't you're going to say the King Charles coffin? I was like whoa. And the designs for that, just like my mummies. Whatever she had I want. That's a good impression too.

I missed it, go on. Just like mummies. Yeah. Yeah. good. We're good. We're warming up. What's your coaching philosophy?

Philosophy. Wow. Huge questions. Sorry. Really straight in. The coaching philosophy is that everyone can make progress. And you don't always want to strive for perfection immediately. But don't think, lots of people go, I just can't do accents.

I would say I'm really bad with an English accent, actually. Really? Well, we'll see. That's fine. I can do every accent. Yeah. Why am I here? What do you want?

Scouse? Yeah, please. Or it's like fucking bullshit. I'm from forking Liverpool. Okay. I mean, lots of promises out there. None of these have been terrible. Thank you.

Really, really good. Yep. Amazing. I don't believe that your English is about. Okay, sorry, please. Go on with that one. Try to spread it out of it there, but no, no, please. Oh, hello there.

How are you? Great, yeah. Where in Scotland is that from? Aberdeen. Lovely, love. All right, yeah. Okay, so, what are we doing today? So, I've been invited in to get you to be able to sound a little bit more.

like each other. A hundred percent perfect impression of each other. So if my research is correct, which I hope it is, otherwise this could be interesting. Catherine, you're going to be sounding a little bit more like you're from fleet via first two years of life in London. Correct, correct. The two most formative years.

Yeah, exactly. When you can't even speak. And then we're going to be getting Helen to sound like you're from the outskirts of Dublin. Yeah, correct? To the northwest. Very nice. Yeah, North West, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Exactly. This is research, baby. Whoa. Do you think you have a strong accent? No. Good. Because I was just, I was just like, because when you were like, I was like, do a Dublin accent, but I don't have a double an accent. You have a very light accent, which we can go for.

Really? Yeah. Oh, I've, like. Are you fucking kidding? I have a light lilt. You think that's really strong? No, I mean, I can understand her. You're always, but like.

No, but you're always doing it with like, you do either Northern Irish when you do me or you do a heavy Dublin accent that. it has potential that we're talking to speaking in coaching terms but you like drop your THs and stuff that I don't do because there you go whereas I don't yeah I don't

that's not how I say and listen we can try what I've got with a couple of variations we can try and amp it up a bit so that it's like more Dublin but what I will say is I do try my best to do a good Catherine accent

but I personally feel that when Catherine does me which she does do a lot, it's just screaming. It's not really screaming. It's not really screaming. It's very hard to do you unless I'm saying, I'm hurling.

It's hard. It's hard. But, like, you know, volume is a technical aspect to speech sometimes, especially when you're doing a, especially when you're doing a, an actual impression, you know? Amplitude is a technical term.

So it's amplitude, baby. So it's, get on board. It's amplitude, babe. Get on board, babe. It's not a board, babe. It's not a bit. bad thing to shout. There we go.

So we're going to be learning how to do like a phrase of each other. Yeah. So, oh my God, have you chosen the phrase? Yes. Have you guys chosen it together?

No. No. So what I've done lies is I've come up with the phrase each which is sort of an amalgamation of things you've previously said on the episode.

I just picked a couple of random ones. So if you hate it, you only have yourselves to blame. True. Yeah. It's important that we get seen. Right. Yeah.

You see each other for who you are. And because that's going to, you know, accent an identity and it's strictly linked. So this should feel really personal. I'm a boy sexual Catholic. Really good. Not even close. Really good. Not even close.

Would you like to go one at a time or would you like to do a little couple of words each and take it in turn? One a time. I think one at a time. Full spotlight focus. Yeah. Okay. Going to flip a coin? Oh, she's dying to go versus letters.

Okay. Okay. Actually, my entire process will be easier because she'll have gotten it out of her system. Yeah. Best that you, you know what I mean? Should I, like, put, like, red dye in my hair really quickly? I don't... Yeah, for the viewer rather than the listener, yeah.

Might it make you feel better? Andrew, can you put on like a wig for me in post? No. Thank you. Is that possible? I don't know. It is, but I will not be doing it. Okay.

Not with this skill set and funding, actually. Off you go. Okay. Okay. So, what you're going to be saying is... He's just on the first word. No, I didn't. Did you not?

I'm just fascinated to hear what it is. Shut up Helen. Obviously, this isn't the accent. Otherwise, I should be fired from all my jobs. Shut up, Helen. Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. Fascinating.

Do you feel so? Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. God, you have turned into such an optimist over this last year. Goodness me. Yeah. Yeah, the second I'm getting laid,

I'm like, everything is possible, actually. The world is a great play. Helen, have you heard of alcohol and rooftop? But this was taken from, like, as I say, an amalgamation of a few episodes. So it was like continued positivity. Wow. And philosophy, you know? Yeah.

That's actually really nice. Really nice. Things are looking up for Boehart. Hey. Short up, Helen. Okay. So you're doing a really good thing. Okay.

So what you've changed is the oh. Oh. Yeah? So that is a correct observation. You're leaning in pretty heavy for what Catherine does. so could you say shut up Helen Shut up Helen Shut up Helen

Really nice So just ease off it You're going to be Oh Oh Yeah so instead Just breathe a little lighter Make a little gentle kiss shape

With your mouth like a Oh Shut up Helen And then just add a bit of breath Shut up Helen Sureapelan Really nice So it might sound a bit sexy

We're going to go a bit sexy She is sexy Because Dublin has a lot more Like breath behind it than your accent in terms of like a continuous flow of breath. Why am I not breathing? Huh?

So because we'll talk about your accent in a bit, but we want to add like plenty of breath to what you're doing. She's a breathy little bit. Okay. Short of Helen. And then you're going to use the same sound again in ultimately. Ultimately. Ultimately.

Really nice. And then that's all the us we've got. So shut up Helen. Short up Helen. Ultimately. Ultimately. Ultimately. And then try and say this as you think Catherine would say it and we'll work for that.

The world. Not terrible. is my oyster we get to Devin so great every time we get to Devin so fast

I think this is harsh I think you're doing a really good job and also Devin has what you need to do which is the Ars right so you have to do an R oyster but again

you're just thinking strong which is fine and Catherine doesn't lean into the R's as much as you would think why don't you what's the fear? The world is your oyster?

The world is your oyster? Much better. So what I want you to do is try and lighten the earth. Yeah. So can you give us that? The world is my oyster. Ultimately the world is my oyster.

Really, really nice. Ultimately the word is my oyster. Really good. We can take the breath in this sort of serial killer I've spent out of it in a second. So can you add a little bit more encouraging?

Can you add a little bit more colour? Color. Ultimately, the word is my oyster. Okay, and don't be afraid to move your lips a bit more. More, okay. Ultimately, the world is my oyster.

Okay, add that lip round it back in at the start. I'm having a panic attack. No, no, you're doing so great. No, I'm doing really good. Ultimately, the world is my oyster. Okay, so then add that little kiss shape back and shut up Helen. Shut up Helen, ultimately the word is my oyster.

Okay, oh. Ultimately, the word is my oyster. Really nice to keep the kiss shape. Ultimately. Shut up Helen. ultimately the world is my oyster okay slow down ultimately the world is my oyster

ultimately the world is my oyster okay slow down again like imagine you're trying to really like she is talking to you and it's like it's not weird spell it out into your voice okay ultimately the word is my oyster okay we're going to add some more colour in

we're going to get to the end of the sentence and then add some more kind of life into the whole thing oh my god okay so now shut up Helen this is I know sometimes I've heard you do this and sometimes you haven't. But how do you say this word? An anything. Okay, so where me and you would say, like, eh, like the start of egg, anything.

Catherine goes a bit more, ah, anything. Because she's wrong. Because she's different to us. Yeah. Wrong. Well, we're in England, so it's wrong. Okay, so we're going to drop the D here and we're going, instead of going, and anything, we're going to go, an anything. And anything.

And anything. So pretend it's an a. Anything. So literally read the. That's there. Ah. An anything. Huh?

There's like the name Annie. Like the start of Annie. An anything. But that's and. Yeah, but just say it like, N. No D. N.

And anything. Anything. Okay. And then you've got... Anything is possible right now. Great. So your instincts are so right. You're just doing it all too far.

You're just doing it all wrong. All too much. I'm over excited. No, you're doing so great. So the possible... Feed back for Helen's life. instincts are right it's just all too much

and it's good honestly another philosophy question you go too far without it being offensive if possible and then you reel it back in you have to go too far to get comfortable with it

and then you make it natural everyone tries to make it natural first and it's too much yeah I don't know why we're saying I'm too far when Catherine literally spends her whole time to impress me

I've got a yeast infection oh you know so here when you lost Can you see that you would go, paw. Oh, oh, like you've got your lips around a bottle. Sure. I know, I always want to say, paw.

But that's what you would do. Anything. And then you want to do what you did, which is lose, pa, possible. Is possible. Yeah? Possible. And then Catherine doesn't do this very strong at all. You want to go, right now.

That's what you want to do. But we're just going to go right. Right. Now. Now. Now. So your instincts right? now.

Now. So can you imagine you're going to say next? Ne. Now? So just say ne. Ne? No. You're going to say neck or next.

Ne? Nah. And then just bring you next to that kiss again. No. Now. Now. Can you put it at the front of the mouth? Now.

Now. So. Shut up. Shut up, Helen. Ultimately, the world is my oyster. And. And. And.

Anything is possible right, right now. I didn't know you were learning to read today as well. It has that effect on everyone. Maybe I take it away. Should we just do it a little bit? No! You're doing so good. So, now I want you to do it with accent stuff.

Helen, no hitting, Helen. She started it. She hit me mentally. So you've got the key shape so you know that it's got to be Shut up Shut up Ultimately

Ultimately So with the little kiss Ultimately Ultimately Ultimately And then you know you've got it You've got it As long as you get the oh

A bit of encouragement Sorry From everything Thank you You did say encouragement very well Thank you very much So World

Keep it really soft Like you're trying to whisper World World World And then oyster Oyster Oyster

It's just a tiny R in the end Oyster Lovely And then An anything And anything But just an An anything

An anything Is possible Is possible Right now Right now So you're just easing off Can you feel calmer I can actually

I feel more like More like My dad's a deacon Like I'm getting it I'm going to assume That's a thing Yeah Okay great

Otherwise you had me stumped So do you want to try I love debating. Right. Nice. So now we're going to add a little bit more of Catherine's like

excitement and colour, yeah? So Catherine tends to go up quite a lot. She does. Yeah. So don't be afraid to get a bit excited with it, but think about like pontificate and a bit like, ultimately the world is my oyster.

And anything is possible right now. Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. much better, yeah? So now, can you just do a thought to try and really get your pitch up because your pitch is quite low? Yeah, well, I'm a baritone.

Can you do it like a thought? You're a baritone. I don't know. She's got the certificate. I'm a baritone. Can you kind of go, like you're not sure about something? Are you?

Am I pontificating or am I unsure, Sarah? Which characters I'm anticipating or am I sure, Sarah? Voices are very personal. I'm used to getting this feedback. So can you try like a I'm not sure I'm not sure

Okay so then Find the difference So you're willing to go up She's so angry So can we get a bit of so like Ultimately the world is my oyster Ultimately the world is my oyster And anything is possible right now

So much better Yeah And then we're gonna just try and tweak that Now What am I doing wrong? So you're going No Yeah.

Yeah. As if you're going to say like, like an Irish person. Like maybe an Irish person from somewhere that I've never heard of. He's a game on. No. No. Oh, you're thinking Northern like, no.

Yeah. Okay. So we just want to come down a little bit. It is Northern Ireland, though. No. It's in the north. No. Behaviself, it's not.

No. But it is. No. If you were to split it into. No. If you're going to split it into. Okay. Which we tried.

So, I'm just going to sidestep. Yeah, fair. So as if you're going to say, fair. Fair, nice. So as if you're going to say, nah, neck. Neck. And just stop yourself before. Nah.

Now. You're doing the whole word. So, nah. Nau. Now. Now. So, slow it down. Ne' ow.

Can you see you're adding an a? Ne'au. Just go. Neau. Neau. No. No. No.

No. Instead of wanting to go now. Now. No. no no now now now now there you go yeah now so if you say now in slow motion no now yeah say it together now you want to go yeah can you feel the difference now no no i do feel the difference she feels the difference okay so now regroup anything anything possible right now great and so what you can add anything you just do a so what you might want to do because the start

very typical when people are doing general Irish just to go like anything or anything. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it's more that Catherine doesn't do it at all, but it's sometimes that people use it against the teeth like a th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-ha. Like anything. But people tend to go anything, which is too far. It's like

anything. Yeah, so just, but for Catherine just a normal. Anything. Anything. Anything. That's it. So you don't have to change. Anything is possible right now. Now. Now. Yeah, lovely. And can you feel that in general if you just think you use quiet and this is not meant to be i feel like everyone takes voices like personally oh my i'm actually really easygoing we're chill we're fine we feel pretty good about it i can take him katherine takes everything so personally i'm super easy going i'm easy

breezy beautiful cover girl so i can see that thank you thank you that's a really good vibe to have for this accent there yeah imagine your easy breezy cover girl katherine yeah try it vocally my voice She's got OCD perfectionism. She's so highly strong. My voice, not my personality. Okay. Yeah. So imagine you're like Miss World, cover girl. They're not the same thing, but we can do it.

And think of that sing-song. Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. Much better. Yeah? Right now. No. Getting a bit more of a nod of approval. So that's the only one that's thrown you.

It is. So it's just because you want to, you know what it feels like in your mouth. So you want to go, oh. Now. No. No. No. Go sideways instead of down.

No. Now. That now. Yeah. So think sideways. You have a lot of up and down in your voice. You make a lot of space. Thank you. This is one for you.

So Helen talks a little bit like there's a really big round object in her mouth at all times. I'm a hungry girl. So you want to lose that. And imagine there's like a little bit less space above the tongue. So now. Do you have a cleft lip or something? No, I just have a small. mouth.

Oh. No, it's an accent. Dick, Dick, no. And I never need anything in there. So that's it. Just, no. Now. Now.

Now. There you go. Just a bit smaller, sideways. No. No. No. Really nice. No.

Can we hear it from Catherine? Yeah. And can you give us like a lot of like personality, a lot of like find a specific situation. Oh, let's say I just talked by your asshole. No. Shut up Helen. Ultimately. the world is my oyster

and anything is possible right now. Can you give it that same about the do-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-do lots of up and down in there. That was a lot of up and down. Yeah, there is a lot of up and down there. You are very bouncy. Very bouncy.

Bless you. Like the fiddly-diddly D-Irish. It's not classic, isn't it? You say it's not a stereotype, but it is. I have to be very careful about stereotypes that I agree with. Okay, yeah. I mean, that's bad, that's fair, that's fair, that's fair.

I agree. Yeah. I'm not going to be. I agree too. I want to be agreeing to right now. Okay. Give it to me more time. Shut up Helen.

Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. Shut up Helen. Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. So much better. Yeah? Why better?

So the only thing is just keep that little kiss ultimately. Ultimately. Yeah? And don't be afraid of making all the noises. Catherine doesn't drop a lot of stuff. shut up Helen ultimately the world is my oyster

and anything is possible right now so much better we can revisit I feel mad when I'm saying it will feel mad it's so weird it's so weird it's so weird it is so weird it is so weird

and then one little thing and again it's not everyone gets offended at the word nasal but nasal is just a quality of some accents no she's like a citizen's character yeah which is the nasal one bar Lisa? Mudge? Mudge.

That seems like that. Oh man. Oh man. Showed up, hell and ultimately the word is my oyster and anything is possible right now. That's the best you've done actually. I'm sorry I didn't say Mudge right at the beginning. It would have just said that's a lot of time.

I just feel like I'm not in it properly yet. So now, if you think about saying it all through a very tiny trunk in the middle of your nose. Like Sir Sharonan. That's a good person to think. She's not actually Dublin, but she has quite a lot of Dublin sounds. Yeah?

So think about that. I want to do the accent you're doing. That's very good. But now I'm not doing particularly, Catherine, you know? I'm just doing a more surcharon. She sounds like Sercheron. And still closer to me than...

You're doing great. So great. Now. Now. Now. No. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now.

Now. Like you're going to go overdo it and go now. Now. And then just take the now. Now. Yeah? You're doing it a little bit like a, mew. Like a, I want that.

No. Like airy. No. No. No. Now. Now. Now.

Now. It must be such a strange audio experience. Are you having it like that? Yeah. Exactly. I think people will be trying to do it at home. That's what I think of. A hundred percent guarantee.

Everyone right now has been like, now, no, no. No, because, actually, no, I was going to tell us, we don't have time from my story. I'm just going to say that the person I'm seeing was like, I really want to work on your accent, so this is good for me. And I was like, do you know what I don't want? It's for you to work on my accent.

Put off you go. No, no. I don't want that. That sounds like hell to me. I'll send them the link to this. Absolutely not. Okay. So, the last thing,

and then maybe we can have a go the other round is try that little nasality and keep the balance because you're tending to keep it quite on one level and go sexy and one like that. That's fine. I'm panicking, so. It's sexy when I'm panicked as well. Don't worry about it.

That's actually point me. You get sexy when you're panicked? Yeah. This is good. Should we hold hands? Okay, let's do it. Channel Catherine. God, you both have such dry hands.

I feel so clammy. Oh. Oh, it's dry a compliment? I think for hands? I think she went non-wet. She's got wet hair. I'm like... Do we release hands?

It's actually making me very stressed. No. You guys are about calming Helen. Yeah, nice. It was a real boundary there. I didn't make me feel calm. Catherine threw me away. Okay.

You've got this. I've got a trunk on my face. Okay. So we're going to go, so think about going, shh, and being all gentle, but bouncy, and then a little bit nasal through the front of the nose. Yeah? Mm-hmm. You've got it. Can you do it? You can.

Shut up! Okay. Shut up, Helen. Ultimately, the word is my oyster and anything is possible right now. Okay, slow it down one more time. Shut up, Helen. Shut up, Helen. Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. now. Really, really, really good.

I went too far on the right. I know I did. But it's fine. It's fine. You've got so much closer than it was. It's so much closer than it was. And now you're listening to the right things when you're hearing it live. It's a crazy accent.

Is that the takeaway? No, the takeaway is that you've got a little trunk you're speaking through because you're super nasal. And you're also really breathy with your kissy faces and your ooh. And also that you've got a tiny little mouth. I've got a little mouth and a little nose shrunk. A little mouth and a little trunk. We'll see what happens the other way around.

I honestly, thank you so much. I do think I'm getting closer. Can I just, can I make one statement? Yes. As a starting point for this. Yeah, yeah. Unlike Helen, I have never claimed to be able to do her accent. I can't.

I can only, I can't do English accents, to be honest with you. I think you can. I'm not very good of them. I can maybe do a bit of Essex, but not really. And honestly, it makes me feel stressed. Okay. So this is involuntary. I'll play along, but I can only really do it when she's shouting.

Okay. We can add a bit of shouting, as I told you. The volume's fine. Also, the sentence I've given you is quite suits a little shout. So what you're going to be saying is Helen. Again, this is created from things that have been said. Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my pyjamas in glitter glue. Oh, I'm so cute.

I am so fucking For a really fat six foot one Wanking 31 year old I am fucking adorable But also you didn't even say that in the baby voice That was just you and that was just grown up Yeah Mommy

Not exactly Mommy Just really quickly What do you think of my four year old voice I think it's cute Thank you I think it's scarily addictive If you're around it all the time

Isn't it hard I mean I haven't listened to It's creepy and gross And you suddenly find yourself doing it You don't like it. Did you ever, because you do it a bit? Did you ever want to do it? No, never.

Suddenly you're four. She'd have seen her walking around anywhere, I've been like, I had a good showy today. I did not say showy. Yeah, and Andrew does too. But when you do the four, it goes a little bit in New York. Four. Four.

Like, I'm four. Yeah, I'm four. I'm four. I'm four. I'm four. Next year. Next year. That's nice.

And my friend Francis of the six, but now she's seven. Oh, what is the next? I don't love it. I don't love it. Love it. Okay. Come on. Can I hear Helen say it?

Of course you can. Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my pajamas and glitter glue. Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my pajamas. Pajamas and glitter glue. Great. So what you've got really well is the... Don't say glitter glue like that. How do you say glitter glue?

Glitter glue. Glitter glue. So much better. So what you've got really well is the pace and the rhythm. And rather than your... She went to drama school. Rather than your... and I can read

I've been able to read the whole time I've actually been able to read the whole time you don't need this so Helen Bowers the British

Leo Michelle what does that mean you're a fucking bitch go on oh right you know what that means Leah Michelle from glue oh that

she can't read recently yeah she can't read yeah it came out listen we don't have time

yeah it turns titled actors don't get a great education go on oh I see oh no

it's all that scandal anyway not to get into that someone Checking my lad that played gloop. Google it, Andrew. Google it, we'll put it in the extras. So what you've got really well is the pace.

They're like where your voice is a bit more lilting and you kind of breathe a lot through it as we're trying to get Helen to just kind of smooth it out a bit. Here there's quite a lot of attack and so you're going to make it choppier and increase the pace a bit. Okay. So that was really good. Now, it's again a technical term.

Okay. Glottal attack. Oh, yeah, it's a glottal attack. Glottal attack and really loud. both technical terms right great so first thing we want to do which was the opposite of what Helen had to do is take out the ours that me and Helen don't say in our accents okay so in the words where where you would say like where you've got to just go where and can you feel your tongue wants to go where yeah just go where hold

it and then don't do anything else where and get used to your tongue not doing it can you feel it want to pull back whoa Yeah, that's the, so that's the main shift. Say it? Where? To where? Where. Where?

Oh my God, what is wrong with us? And if you look at Catherine's tongue, you can literally see it when to go like, where. Yeah, what's the thing? I'm going to choke on my own job. The best way to do it is to, when you're not used to cutting the ars of things, is to do it like you're talking to someone, like you're trying to make someone feel really stupid and just freeze and be like, what do you want to wear? And not let your tongue shift back.

Okay, what do you want to wear? Ah, it's hard. That sounds good. You're panicking, you're just not doing it. What do you want to wear? Where? Yeah. That's good.

Good, right? Is it? Yes. You're so hard. Where? Anything you do different will feel odd, so it doesn't mean it's wrong. Probably means you're getting closer. No, it's right in this country.

I can keep it. On my watch it's right. On my fucking turf. Let's do my phrase in iron. Okay. And so the other place you've got to do that is cover. Cover. So there's two changes there for you, where you would go not strongly but like cover.

or something similar, then it'll be, you've got the kha. Ker. Now, Helen doesn't go, kha, like really, you, can you say cover? Cover. So it's not really like a hover. It's not as open as like a really strong London accent or Essex or... I'm Hampshire, please. Hampshire, exactly.

Thank you. Thank you. So, kha, but you lose the lips like you did. Kha. And then the. Cover. That's it, yeah. So...

No effort put into my conversation at all. Cover. Cover. Cover. Really nice. And then... Now glitter, sometimes you would drop the T when you first said it was like

Glitter glue. Glitter. Glitter. That's too far. Glitter. That's it. So you've dropped all your hours there. So wear, cover, glitter. Where cover? Glitter. Really, really good. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. Very. Your mouth is doing a thing that makes it look like

here and nightly in love actually you know when she's like I love it I love it I love it glitter cover but why it's so hard is because it sounds quite easy

when you've got it you have to make it look quite effortless so the less you do I make it look effortless you make it look effortless I make it look effortless I make it look effortless wear cover glitter

great so you're giving it a bit of extra breath which you don't need to so can you find that practical attack energy Yeah, cover, glitter. There you go. Wear cover glitter.

Wear cover glitter. Really, really nice. So now you've lost the ars. We've already changed the uh to cover. So one thing you really have to change is that Helen would say. Bath. Bath. Whereas you would say bath normally, yeah.

So bath. Done that one. Barth. Bath. Bath. Barthy. Barthy is what we call her home. Cover.

It's great. Pajamas. Pajamas. Right. Mommy. Mommy. Mummy changes to the same as cover. Mummy.

Mummy. Really nice. Yeah. Mummy. Mommy. No, I'm thinking now about how I say, I'm like getting paranoid. Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my pyjamas in glitter glue. Really good.

It's a little bit more on the sort of. It's Hermione from Harry Potter. Okay. She's pronunciation. A little bit more standard English. Okay, fine. But it's many similar shapes. But it still sounds like you went to school with me.

It's really good. So what you want to do now is think about sort of being less subtle so you don't have to work too hard but allow there to be bite behind it. Okay.

So Helen, yeah, you don't articulate subtly, I wouldn't say. Yeah, it's really easy for you, but you do... What's articulation exactly? I know the game, but... Oh, so. The game articulation.

Yeah, yeah, close enough. She misspoke, don't feel bad. Sorry. Don't feel bad. It's fun. It's fun. I do it all the time. Yeah, no, that's unused.

People fuck up around me all the time. I'm so sorry. It's embarrassing. So in a lot of accents, there's like quite a subtle articulation, and so there's like doing less is more and everything's really small. Oh no, more is more. But you do, you'd be very easy to lip breed in a terrible situation. I am very easy to lip breed in general.

Yeah, yeah. So if we needed you across the room, it would be very easy to. Food simple. Yeah. So maybe try doing it like you're across the room and you're really tired and you want someone to understand what you mean as quickly as possible and you've lost your patience. Mommy, I want to wear my towel.

toes socks in the bath and cover my pyjamas and glitter glue. Great, really good. Now, add on to that. Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my pajamas and glitter glue. Really good.

The wear is very pleasing. So, wear. We're. We're. We're. We're. Uh, in the bath. Does that hurt you to do?

It's quite a strong. Yeah. Now I'm... Vinnie Jones. So now if you find a little bit more of like, less constriction in that. Right. And keep the lowness,

but keep it more like a bit more football chante, a bit more like, oy. Oye. So like, uh, okay. You're like, yeah. Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my paj.

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going to say I was Devon. That was, no, sorry, encourage. That went Australian because you weren't sure and then it went toe socks in the bath. Yeah, it did. Whereas if you just sounded confident, it would sound like heaven. Okay, toes. Why have you said this? Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my pyjamas in glitter glue.

Great. So you've got all the shapes. And when you just keep that connection of imagining that you want to be lipbread and that you're impatient with someone across the room. It's just so un-Irish to be as, like we whisper because you might be listening. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Where's the hiding?

None of that can say. Where is the hiding? Is there no shame? Not in Hampshire, no. And then I say the last change, which you're kind of doing immediately, is in want and socks. Okay, tell me. So for you, it's a bit more wah again, like the possible change. Want.

So this is where you need to put your lips around, like a bottle shape. Oh. Oh. Oh, I make it short. For you, it's a bit lengthy. Want. Mommy, I want to wear my, okay. And then socks.

Sox. So. Oh, oh, want, socks. Yeah? Whereas you want to go, ah, ah. Oh, wait, she's saying out of the back of her throat. So it's more like want and socks. Want, socks.

Which is what you did when we wanted you to say, possible. Yes. That's the reverse. Want, socks. Oh, yeah, mine's all at the front. Imagine that you've had a like bit of potato that's too hot and go like. Okay, Sarah.

Okay, Sarah. Fucking charming. Okay, Sarah. Absolutely charming. I love fucking way! It got racist. It got racist.

Absolutely love that. What's worse? That's crazy to me. What's worse is I didn't realize what happened for about 20 seconds. I use that all the time for this sound. You didn't even realize

when you high-fived me. Andrew, Andrew, can you record me? It was a passive high-fived to be fair. This episode will contain some xenophobia. And some problematic take. on the Irish condition. Don't worry, I said

fiddly diddly deep in the South. If you're Irish and you're assuming, hell, it'll be a problem. Oh, no. It's me. It's all of them. It's all of them. They're exactly here you thought where they were. And they have cold ones as well called tatoes that come in bags. That's why she's upset.

They're not all hot. I'm so sorry. Hell. It can be a hot piece of anything. Don't work. She's going to be very gutter. It just air. It just had. This has to be hot. So imagine...

Oh no, we've lost that. I'm not going to even try rectify it. Yep. Okay, I'm going to give this one more go. Yeah. Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath and cover my pyjamas in glitter glue. Great. Just drop that...

Glitter. I say glitter. Glitter. Glitter. Glitter. That absolutely clear. Have the impatience. Glitter glue. It's so hard.

What is... Do one more because you've got it in you. Want to be lip-red? Feel the impatience and just imagine your mouth's working really hard around a sort of golf like a tennis ball in your mouth. Mommy, I want to wear my toe socks in the bath

and cover my pyjamas in glitter glue. Very lovely. That was a lovely glitter glue. Yeah. I don't feel comfortable about it. No. I feel very self-conscious when I do accents in a way that makes me feel like

why don't you just not. I think that's why I like it is because I do feel self-conscious. It feels on the edge. Is it new for you? Whereas I'm like, this is a shame I feel all the time. Why are we heightening it? Yeah.

It's a very exposing thing to do. Horrible. And this situation is very exposing. With the person right there? Yeah. And recording it. Yes. Hell.

That's why I like that so much. Hell. Oh my God, you're so good at your job. Not because we were good, we weren't. You didn't help it all. But so encouraging. Oh, thank you very much. Can I, I want to practice this.

Yeah. Go for it. You can take that page. Oh, I see. Do it now. One more time. You've got it. Thank you.

Shut up, Helen. Ultimately, breathe. Okay. Pretend you're teaching someone else. The shut up was good. This is a really good way. It's a really good method.

Is imagine that you're teaching someone else how to do it and they're really stressed and you're trying to calm them down and show them it's easy. I'm just going to calm you down. Okay? Just stay chill. How do I do it? Shut up Helen. Ultimately, the world is my oyster

and anything is possible right now. Great. Try it one more and enjoy that now. A little bit. Now, because you've not done it for a while, you've made more space in your mouth like you would do. So just make the space a bit smaller and a bit gentler. No.

No. Okay. Shut up Helen. Ultimately, the world is my oyster and anything is possible right now. Much better. No. No.

Hi, no, Brian. Hi, no. Now. It goes a little bit north. You know what? Can I keep this, please? Yeah, of course she can. Oh my God.

Catherine, look, I got Stephen Erie. And he gives Sarah a round of applause. This is a very stressful thing to do. It was a really unique work environment. You did so well. This was honestly hostile and... Partly because of me and my xenophobic. Oh, no.

I feel like, yes. Yes. And we were, I was... I'm like defensive when I'm nervous. I haven't had a nice time. But I feel like you really tried. And that's not on you. Helen has had the day of her life, the time of her life.

We're so grateful to you. I would love to be able to do loads of accents really well. What's your favorite one? The one that I want to do the most. Yeah. Okay. I love the like Brooklyn, New York. Like I'm from Brooklyn.

Yeah, like a gangster. Like I want to do that for sure. No, I only want to do like Caliphate. But so it'd be great if we could be like Whitney and Elsie from the health. That's so fun. But listen, you're amazing. If somebody wants an accent coach, where can they come and find you? They can come to me.

Is this where giving an email address feels very good. If someone is an accent coach. Yeah, I've got an agent. I've got an email address. What do you tell them your agent? I'm with the dialect agency. Dialect agency. Find Sarah there.

What's your surname if they were looking for you? McGuinness. Oh, Sarah McGinnis. And yet still. And yet still. And yet still. It pumps through my veins and the sensitivity is not that. And yet still.

No, but that's Scottish. No, it's Irish. Oh. Did you say Guinness is Scottish? No, Guinness, I know, is Irish, but Muck before a surname is it not, is it Irish? It's not a Mac, it's a Muck. Oh, shit. Sorry.

Oh, my God. It's like both cultural erasure and extreme stereotyping. It's a real heavy thing. Yeah, I know, I hear the and now. It's very different. See? Und. But it's so.

long. She takes so long to say every word. Pass about. Sorry. Pass about. Anything. Anything. Anything. I'm so glad people can find you. You are so great and patient and kind. You are so great and patient and kind.

You are in your own ways. Beautiful students. If you were to pick your favourite student. Oh no. Don't. Catherine, obviously. Catherine, obviously. Look how much you've lit up. I actually didn't mind school today so much when I got praise. I liked it.

Thank you so much. What a joy. What a joy. I really did. I actually had a lovely day now. You're both beautiful. But yeah, so people can come find you. And thank you so much.

Thank you for me. It was a unique experience. Andrew, can we have a photo with Sarah? Of course. Oh my goodness. I want to hold my paper. No! Yes!

Thank you so much to our executive producers Guy Goodman, Simon Moors, Janina Bautista, Mary Fox, Annie Taunner, Sarah Harka Deacon and Oliver Jago. Also a massive thanks for our producers Richard Bicknell, L, Richard Bould, Neil Redmond, Victoria Hutchison, Emma Walton, Karen and David Bull, Harold Van Dyke,

Kirillich, Jim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel R, Anthony Conway, Sadie Cash, Moore, Clare Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Joe Home, Sarah and Molly, Alex Pughes, Joe ZW, Amy, Ria Fink, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Lindsay, Sophie Chivers, and Graham Morris. You're an absolute angel, Helen. No, I just thought that Lindsay didn't even look up. Thank you, everybody. I'm getting this phone call. I'll be back in the second.

That was amazing, wasn't it? That was really funny.