Trusty Hogs - Ep53. ANIA MAGLIANO / Boxing, Box Dyes, & Bircher Muesli

Episode Date: October 6, 2022

Riddle me this: who's the perfect guest to kick off year two of Hogs? Why it's only the brilliant Ania Magliano!! Enjoy this chat on muesli, Lindsay Lohan, haircuts, and, unfortunately, a lot of riddles...FOLLOW ANIA: @aniamaglianoThank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Eddie Doyle / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes  / Sarah & Molly  / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie Chivers / Graham Marsh / Emily GeeWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm ready, Andrew. Catherine's playing on her phone though. I'm ready. Catherine's playing on a phone. Catherine's playing on a phone. I'm ready. What are you doing? You're such a tattletel, aren't you?

I just, I really like it when Catherine's not as prepared as I am. You're here, but you're playing on your phone. And it's really pleasing for me when I can be like, oh, Catherine's not ready. And it's very pleasing. Hello and welcome to episode 53 of trusty hogs. Woo-hoo! No, I'm very good. That was so big.

That was so awful. And you were like, I'm so ready. Catherine's not ready. Hello. Let's not start on a fight. Let's not. Just say, I'm sorry and I wasn't as prepared as you today, Helen. Just say it.

It's lovely to see you. Say I'm sorry and I wasn't as prepared as you today, Helen. Okay. Take a minute. There we go. Gosh, can you believe I wasn't as prepared as you today, Helen? Thank you. That's definitely true and happened.

That felt really good. Welcome to episode 50. Three of trusty hogs. Welcome to 53. Through the fog. No, stop. They heard it. We have a recording of that.

We have a recording that does that. Yeah. Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah. You're going to give them your problems and they will solve them. Or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew.

on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Catherine And the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not So this is a podcast where we talk about our lives And then we have a guest on And they help us solve your problem

And also, let's be honest We're all friends here It's a diary. It's literally a living diary for us It's a time capsule That I'm not sure I want to be dug up again No one's doing Facebook anymore It's the new Facebook

memories. Yes, except we're more like the moms who just joined. Yes. Like, hey, everyone want a picture of my meal and it's like, oh, sweet. So ones who creep out every November 11th to post a picture of them with a poppy, like, emoji thing on the corner. You just keep sharing the dogs that have been found in Arkansas.

And it's like, come on. You follow those two? Well, we can't tell, but it's my mom. She lives in Dublin. She doesn't I mean, like, the stuff don't find the dog. Particularly when when they find them or like, you know, those videos where it's like really gnarly. They're called like the dodo, most of the videos from a company called the dodo, aren't they? And the dog is like really gnarly and gross

and then it gets a makeover. And it's like, okay, this dog is like, you know what I mean? Like, that's a nice dog. That's a nice dog. Goodness. I haven't been aware of any of this. But who knew?

There you go. Very exciting. All I get is like really bang average bakes. Like, especially because it's bake off at the minute. Bang average bake. Oh, I'm just seeing loads of women being like, made this for Tuesday. Like, I don't think it was worth a photo.

Wait, you're friends of people on Facebook who bake every, I know you bake every week for bake off because you're, because you're that sort of gay. A fun gal. A fun gal. A fun gal. That's a nice way of putting it. Not every Tuesday, but whenever I can, I will, but it's usually good. No one's saying it's not good, Catherine. Yeah, I'm saying it's good.

But what sort of bakes have you seen recently online that I've upset you? Just the kind that luck dropped, but apparently haven't been. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, did an accident happen? Is your oven up too high? Oh, no, you're proud of it. Okay, that's fine. I think we've got different algorithms.

Yeah, I think so too. Like, I watch a lot of, like, lads put in Mentos into Coke in a bath tub they're sitting like a lot of watermelons being dropped from trampolines. Oh no, I occasionally get men like with those machines that make them feel like they're going through late. Yes! The 10th machine

test! Not a tens machine, but yeah, that's about it and it's like I really don't think you're a brave boy. Listen should we start this podcast? I'm ready. Oh, we're in. I'm ready. It's happening. Can I tell you what I've been doing though? Oh, you're going to... Okay. I have a new obsession, everyone.

Okay, interesting because you all tell me that I have too many obsessions and that they're too fleeting so I hope this one's gonna be one you're committing okay my obsessions are never fleeting they do stick around for a long time puzzling was like two years and I have taken a breakboning because

Sunil Patel has made it clear that it is not the puzzling table because he keeps using everything so that's not what it's for that was a bad sentence I kind of got it you knew what I mean? Yeah I got it yeah she's having your coffee I had two coffees already and a peppermint tea

oh my goodness you're caffeinated since And I made Burscha Musilie last night Tell me about that So you made Musher last night after a gig I don't know if it's Musley actually Maybe just Bercia What's the difference in Britscher and Musley? I don't know

Andrew But wait Was it from a recipe book? No, I used to work in a cafe on South Bank When I was like 19 And we did these like breakfast pots Where you pour like oats into a bowl And then you soak it in apple juice

And then you mix in yogurt Like really heavy Greek yogurt and then he started and then I also so yesterday I had that thing where you've got like a meeting in town and then you have to like wait around for your gig I went to planet organic I will be respected whoa I will be respected whoa okay I'm surprised I let you in spent 10 pounds on bathsops and a full on breakdown you got done nice and then spent like eight pounds on peacons gorgeous gorgeous because I had a yogurt recently they're so good I'm making good Picampi, do you want me to make it for you?

Yes. Oh my God, I'd love to. No. It would be, well, okay. No. I'm busy now. Doing the podcast. You do it for Helen next week.

Yeah, I'd love to actually. I really would. That'll be really nice. It's from the Women's Institute cookbook, which I hate myself for having. I'm not proud. I will not be respected, actually. That's so unbrand for you. I was given it as a gift of a book of four of them when I was like 17.

Someone was like, she'll like the women's industry. I've got, I've got, I do. Bero books. They're like old school English cooking. Okay, right. beer oh and it's like this is how you make pastry is everything just pastry and that like horrible mush stuff that with the meat what's it called uh patte no no i don't think like what do you mean like is it dumplings or something no i mean it's a lot of rissol is it not a patte

what's a rissol what is a meat patty from back in the day yeah okay grim oh birchum musli has them fresh fruit by the way compared to normal musli which is dry fruit oh gosh okay I actually had an apple sliced up with it. Right, so tell me, so tell me what's in it? So it's just oats soaked in apple juice with yoghut and honey. Okay, all that bit that you just described. Yeah, and then I put it into a glass. Wow, fancy.

Like a drinking glass. Don't mind if we do, yeah. In front of Sunil Patan. He was like, that's amazing. And I was like, yep, covered it with tinfoil. Right. And then this morning, I chopped up pecan nuts. Yeah.

Sliced up an apple and I had it all together. That sounds delicious. I'm sorry. I've hit a new level of person. Yeah, who are you being right now? I don't know, but I'm worried I'm going to be dangerously thin within a month. She's wintering well. She's wintering well.

I'm just really proud of myself for getting back and making it. I'm so impressed. I'm so impressed. Seriously, to spend 20 pounds and planet organic. It is just like a grated apple and some yogurt, is it? Well, it was sliced. It wasn't grated. Okay, but you just mix up some already like prepared piece.

It's not you're not baking anything or. Why are you yell at Helen? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was just checking in. So are we saying that that's your new obsession? No, I'm just saying like I'm a new person because I went to Planet Organic once. I get it. That actually has happened to me a few times. When you go in it and you think, oh, I'll be one of these people

because everyone else in there is different. I have pistachio butter from there. I don't know what I'm going to use it for, but my God, I feel every time I see it in my cupboard, I think, God, I'm classy. I'm doing well. What a girl. What a girl.

No, my new obsession, I think you're going to be absolutely charmed by this is riddling. Huh? I. What is that? Riddles. Like, just people reading you riddles. Oh, I thought you were riddled with something

And I was like, no God, this was inevitable I think I'm going to become I'll be getting into a riddle there The worst thing is, if I got riddled with something It wouldn't be like a sexy STI It'd be like worms Do you remember when kids were younger And they like have worms and their shit?

I always wanted worms in a way Because I thought it would make me really thin You never got worms? No, I thought it would make me really thin Is worms a riddling issue? I thought it was like a tape room No, no, no, worms Can you be riddled with a worm though?

Do you not know what? I'll show your picture. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I said, no, Helen, tell us about the riddling. Do you want to get some riddles up for you guys? Yes, I've got one or two for Catherine now. But no, you get some more up as well. Just so you know, I'm already on riddles.com, so I've already done all of them. Can I just say that I don't love riddles? Why not? Do you like cryptic crosswords?

No, I'm really bad at them. And as you know, I don't like to do things I'm bad at. But it's a combination of a joke and a puzzle. Yeah, I don't really like puzzles or jokes. It's the worst form of a joke, though What's the worst form of a thing? Sometimes magicians try to have banter, don't they? Oh God, does that count? No, listen, not to me.

Go on. We know you love magician. Sorry, Helen. Thank you, Catherine. Okay, what has a head, a tail is brown, and has no legs. This took me. Yeah, a penny, that's correct. That took me two hours on a train to Liverpool, on a train to Liverpool, two hours before I press show answer.

No, it didn't. It didn't even get there. I had to just look at it. Are you joking? You're joking. No. You're a smart woman. You're lying.

I know I'm smart. Okay. How about this one? This one I got immediately. Okay. David's father has three sons. Snap, crackle and. David.

David. David, correct. David's father has three sons. Snap, crackle and. I didn't pay attention. You're right. You're right. You're right. Well done. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday? A long weekend. No. I knew this one. It's not a long weekend. You've got three days. Can I name three consecutive days? But you can't use the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I got this one because I think I heard it at school. Is it like Christmas Eve, Christmas? this day, boxing.

No, but very good. And I'd still give that a correct answer. That's pretty good. Do you want to know the answer? Easter weekend. It's a show that was short-lived on Comedy Central that you were on an episode of. Wow.

Yesterday, today and the day before. Yesterday and tomorrow for the same thing. Okay, fine, fine, fine. Andrew, give us one to both try and solve together. Okay, I'll just get one up. I do think a long weekend's pretty good. It is, but it wasn't... That's just technically a correct answer.

Can I... You got it wrong. let it go. But only because there's seemingly no points for the correct answers that are, that they didn't think of. She's got her pub quiz face again.

I would love us to all go to a pub quiz. Can I just ask? Did I tell you about in Ibita when I was at a restaurant? Sorry, Andrew. I was in Ibiza. I was at a restaurant. This waiter was flirting with these two women on the table across from us, right?

So he's like doing this like quiz with them. He's like, they're like, oh, where are you from? And he's like, I'll give you three guesses. And they are like, well, we're in Spain. So Spain. and he's like no and they were like Portugal

and they were like no and they're like oh you're like oh you're like Italian and he was like no okay I'll give you

one more clue we don't speak Spanish but we are of a like but you might think that we do and we are

it's South America and I was like Brazil exactly right exactly so these girls are like America

Argentina Argentina hot And I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake. So after about guess five, and he's like, I'll give you one more guess because they're hot, right, fine. Yeah. And I had at that point had quite a lot of sparkling sangria.

So at a certain point, I was just like, can I guess? What? Into that table? And the girls were like, yes. But he was like, well, no, that's not really the point. Yeah, yeah, I'm flossing. You're a toad and I wasn't talking to you. And I'm like, it's obviously Brazil.

And he's like, yeah. and then was so annoyed that I ruined this evening. What a fun ruiner. It's obviously Brazil. I support that because that guy is like, that's the pale sweating Irish girl with humility in her hair. Just so you know it's Brazil. But the girls were like, how did you get it?

And I was like, do you want to drink? No. Oh, that would have been so good if you stolen the girls from here. Just the absolute inability to go along with a sexy vibe, like an absolute. Then he was like, okay, I'll give you one more. comes over to our table at which point my friends Karen and Leanne are like

lucky you fucking brought it on us great thanks so much and I was like I'll take the question and he was like it was such a self-centered quiz he was like what's my favourite animal and you know when you just meet a man who thinks he's cookey

so I was like giraffe and he was like yes and I was like are we done and he was like I'm gonna think of another one and then he went away

then he came back and he was like what am I scared of and Leanne was like oh spiders and he was like whoa and then we were trapped in this quiz

it was endless Endless. It was just, God, really, there's no, what I'll say is no good deed goes unpunished. He sounds charming. He had a very performative moustache. Do you know what I'm saying? He sounded like a perfect fit for these ladies. I can't believe you stole them away.

Sorry. They would have had a great time being like ignorant as shit. It's like, what's in Brazil nuts? And then they don't laugh for ages and start clapping, but when like, you know, when you clap so you can show off your tips. Yeah, yeah. They were relatively flat-gested women. I feel like he'd have made the non-s joke.

Ew. Hey, shut off. Oh, my God. Andrew, have I told you about in Edinburgh? Sorry, you are going to tell a story and I'm definitely going to let you. But you know how in Edinburgh I was... Oh, I know what you're going to say. I was having like a little flirt with somebody.

I was pissed. Okay. Helen was there. I was really drunk. Look at my chit. And then this person's like, I'm in there excellent. And then Helen's like, I'll put them on everyone's head around the table. That was funny.

No, you encouraged that. That was fun. That was fun. That was fun. Okay. And Helen's like... Didn't want to do. Aren't big tits the best? Aren't big tits the most important thing?

Aren't the size of tits the most? Isn't it? Aren't my huge tits the best? And I was like, I'm not sure size is everything, but at this point the person trying to appease hell and had gone so far in that they were like, nope, big tits are the best. And then honestly it ruined my evening. Catherine got so upset.

Well, because you were forcing the person. But I also had to spend like 20 minutes going around a table of people, most of whom I don't really know that well, dropping my tit on their head. Every lesbian at that table had the best night of them. Oh yeah, the lesbians were losing their mind. It was exclusively lesbians.

But there was a couple of very, nervous straight men. There were. Were there? There were a couple. There were a couple. There were a couple. I was like, did we talk to any straight men?

Was that really subtle? I would check on the record. Okay. You should set up a stool at Pride. Just be like have a tit dropped on your head. Five pound of, £5 a pound of drop. Oh, that'd be gorgeous.

It wouldn't that be me like making a profit from Pride as a straight woman? I think they would have mine. I'm not going to donate as charity. It's my tit. I'm going to put it into getting a surgery to keep them up high. The lesbians would support that I.

I'm sure. Oh, you guys are the best. You know, we're very sweet to you. And can I have my widow now? Yes. Oh my God. Okay, Catherine, Catherine, Catherine, I know you want to do, should we do like a buzzing sound?

Oh, I don't care about this at all. You can have it. Okay, I'll have it. I win. Okay. Not if you're not competing. Kind of like this tits thing. I'm not competing with you, so I don't lose.

I don't think contestants are out to speak to each other. Oh. Okay. Oh, okay. So we are playing. All right, let's go. Okay. I mean, I don't know.

This comes across on audio, but the tension in the room is really ramped up. So, what travels around the world but stays in a corner? Fly, bird, sun, moon, stars, baby from day dancing. If that's not the answer, I'll be furious. Is it none of those? No, it's none of those. Milk away, astronaut. I'd love to see your mastermind.

stays in a corner let's think about this okay okay so it travels around crisps why are crisps I'm thinking about corners and the crisp squares

doesn't make any sense okay should we have a little breath for a second okay so it goes around goes around the world yeah but stays in a corner

yeah what goes around the world people astronauts chips planes um birds dolphins

it's on an axis what else goes around cars trains planes oh I already said cars. I'd already said cars. I actually don't know. Nomads. A stamp. It's a stamp.

Oh, very nice. That's very good. Yeah. I see that. I get it. Yeah. That's very good. There's more here, but that was quite painful, so I won't read them. What do you mean? No. One more for Little Helen. I better get one. Jesus. Come on. Think easy. Stamp is very good, though, isn't it?

It's good. Nice, right? Yeah, think, think easy, Andrew. Okay. All right. What gets wetter as it dries? Towel! Correct. I knew that one already. Okay.

That was on the hundred best riddles.com. Why does it get wetter as it dries? Because you're drying. Oh, very nice. Yeah, very nice, very nice. She likes it now. One more, more, more, more, more, one more, and then I'll stop. What can you put in a bucket to make it weigh less?

Brick, water, way less. A hole. Yes. A hole. No, there you go. You're so fucking thick! You didn't get any of them. Yes, I definitely didn't know that.

I'd wasn't that. Thick piece of shirt. Thug, I'm sick. Comphoran. I'm just, no, it's not a good nickname and I regret. Okay. Holdy handy. Okay.

Holdy handy. You can tell Helen something if you want. Can you tell I'm in a happy mood? You actually can't hurt me at the minute. I'm like really impenetrable. Okay, well, let's show her that picture of worms, Andrew. Well, no, thank you. I'm good.

Thank you very much. That's fine. Thank you so much. You're having a great time of life at the moment. I actually feel pretty good about myself. It's because you're thriving. Yeah, I'm being kind to myself. I'm taking care of myself.

A lot of baths for Catherine at the moment. I'm having a lot of fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And do we talk about your cousin's text message? I was like, I'm happy on the podcast. And Helen's cousin texted was like, who's she fuck it? And I'll never.

just immediately like shout out hi sophie i know you're listening you're very nosy we love you you sophie you're a very nosy woman this is my cousin who i shared a bed with for a year oh god that's the saddest story actually no we were in a bed together for six months but we like shared a twin room after that i just thought it was it was a year um yeah literally the podcast comes out and it's like obviously katherine's like super happy and then i haven't even responded yet yesterday 8 53 a m so just after recording message who was Catherine banging. Just that

I love that she didn't assume it was like recording the Apollo or going on holiday No, she's got to be getting laid Who's she fucking? But also we love family members listening So if any other cousins are out there listening to us Let us know. But also if my cousins are listening to us, don't ask who I'm fucking

No, your cousin should know who you're fucking No. I share everything I share a life with my cousin. Yeah, you share a bet. I share a bet. I don't know my cousin's that well. You should share a bed with them. You get to know someone really quickly. No, thank you. No, I'm good. Thanks so much though. But you haven't seen Sophie. She's fucking fair. Oh, I'd share her bed with Sophie. Yeah, yeah. She's gorgeous. It is an option. Yeah. I mean, she's married. She's a kid, but she's like open-minded. I didn't find it up. Cool. I would love that

if you were part of my family. And a fair for Sophie? If you, no, just like, just part of my family if you came on family events. I would love to. That'd be really nice, wouldn't it? What might me? What is a, about our family event like just before Catherine commits to that? well i think i know what it's like and i'm still willing to go for helen a lot of passive aggression and the material yeah of god you get a whole show out of that a lot of being hit by my sister oh she's not gonna hit me she had a lovely chat with chloe patsy the other night wouldn't hit me she'd hit you no she would she wouldn't she wouldn't she's very persistent um helen do we want to talk about how you're in a tv show

no what you're in a tv show you're in a daisy may cooper tv show And you're going to not talk about it? No, because Marianne's snails. I want to show you them instead. You're really bad at promo. I'm in a TV show called Am I Being Unreasonable? And I play a girl in the shop. Oh my God.

That's amazing. And you're really lucky. And that's like, we can't wait to watch you act. Yeah, it was really good because when I was filming it is actually when I first found the flapjackery. And I feel like since then it has been life changing for all of us. I agree. But also, can we talk? Is this like your first major acting role?

It's definitely not a major role. I'm just in a couple of episodes. It's in a major TV show. It's not a major show. I'm just in a couple of episodes. You're in more than one episode. Yeah. Hell and that's insane.

I think they cut out my big fight scene though. Yeah, but you're in a show that Daisy May Cooper wrote. Yeah. Is producing. It's starring in and you're in more than one episode. And the hotel was next to the flapjackery and Wells. You're so bad at being a TV star. You're a star of screen.

I'm a star of stage and screen. Stage and screen. Stage and screen. All episodes are available on BBC Eye Player. That's so. Cool, cool. My name's Lauren. Oh, my God.

And I eat, and I'm eating, I eat in every scene. Yes. And my mouth has opened the entire time. Was that in the script? Or did you just keep bringing flap jacks on the chair? They were just like, trying to take food away from me. I was like, no. We're filming.

But it was like a proper director who directed like Dracula for the BBC. And I was like, oh. So I don't think I'll be in the next season. I don't think that's true and I'm very proud of you. I'm proud of you. Can I show you the snails though now? If you must. I must.

Okay. So this is pancake having her last, her last boiled egg. Not last. She's not dead yet, but like... Her most recent. Her most recent boiled egg. Any ballad egg can be the last boiled egg. The snails are fucking thriving.

Unfortunately, it looks like Helen will not make it. You've said that before. You've been wrong. No, she's alive again, but she's just, she's not growing. And the others have grown so much that there's just nothing going on with it. It's just sad, isn't it? What do you mean? It's so it's the same size and all the snails have got really massive?

Like Gollum, curry and donkey are getting big. girl at Gollum still small. I forgot those of the names, sorry. Aren't they absurd? Aren't they absurd? Is curry like a spicy guy? Curry's fine. I'm not fuss about curry.

Donkey's a big boy. Yeah? Like, yeah. She's, she's, how big? She's got a shell. Give us indication and also a measurement because obviously some of the people are listening audio. So Helen is like the size of my thumb.

Yeah. Curry and donkey are like, they could fill my palm at this point. Wow. Wow. Not fill it, but like sizable on it. Sizable on it. You mean like they themselves feel it, not like they could feel it, like something gross. Huh.

Huh? I mean like, they're the size of your palm. They're big. Okay. Like I could put my hand around it. My brain assumes the worst now. I mean, I think that's fair though. And then Gollum is little like Helen, but Helen's a littleist because she's not eating properly.

Marianne's worried. Okay. Yeah. We're a bit nervous. This is a redemption thing there. earlier you assumed very nicely of Helen that she was talking about tapeworms and she was talking about much worse worms

you're right I really do see the best in her when I can I know she there's no way that she went through childhood not having nits or worms so I know you I had neither I don't know what you mean worms as in like in your bum like when a dog has worms I'll have anger a picture

I never had worms and why they're really common that I didn't have it didn't have nits didn't you why can't people accept this you know I saw it tweet thread recently. I think some people just are predisposed to not get nits. Oh, fascinating. Yeah. Whereas people are predisposed to not believe me when I say, I've never had nits.

Sorry, but I didn't. Any worms in your gut will eventually pass out on your pee. There are worms in your gut. And the doctors... What worms? Where have they come from, though? Why are they in my gut? Worms, they're just worms. What worms? Not Earth worms. Worms and humans. Some types of worms can infect people.

Some can be caught in the UK and others are caught abroad. Most worm infections are not serious and can easily be treated with medicine. Almost every week we have a comment on our Patreon or on Twitter or something. I was eating. Where somebody says, I don't know why I start eating when I listen to. How you can catch worms? I hate.

No, let's not. Touching objects or surfaces with worm eggs on them. So clearly we just had worm eggs and fleet. Touching soil or swallowing water or food with wormwags in wormwags in it. Worm eggs in it, mainly a risk in parts of the world without modern toilets or sewage systems. But Flea famously has good sewage systems. and your dad looked after them. I hate everything.

Walking barefoot on soil containing worms. Walking barefoot, you can get it through the feet. What are you doing? Through your feet. Through your feet, apparently. Eating raw, uncooked beef, pork, fresh fish containing baby worms. I actually really want this to stop. Can we stop, please?

That's enough, no, thank you, Helen. God, I shouldn't have had this. My mum should have been taking better care of us, really. Subject change. Yes, please. Catherine's upset again, Andrew. I don't like it. I mean, I'm quite upset.

Please, can people write under the YouTube comments if you had worms? I don't think people will be forthcoming with this before. I will. I don't want to know. No, thanks. It shows a childhood spent traveling. It shows your worldly. It shows you're worldly. It shows you're worldly.

It sounds like neglect. It does sound like neglect. Reading that now, it makes me feel like my dad did not clean himself when he got home from the sewage works. Yeah, that probably would be what happened there. Oh, God, I hate it. I'm not coming on a family event. What is it, Andrew? So when Helen's congratulations on your new role, that's fantastic.

Thank you very much. She's an actor. What is the strangest role or strangest audition you've ever gone up for? I recently had to read for a lesbian who'd been dumped who was unscrewing a decorative dildo from her wall. So like she's weeping, having serious dialogue and also simultaneously trying to remove this dildo from her wall. And you got the part? I didn't get the part. I actually know, well, no, A, I don't know.

why I didn't get it, but I would have a strong feeling. It had something to do with the fact that I just had a little bit too much Botox just before I did it. So you're crying, but there's nothing, nothing happening. I'm crying, but like only on the bottom half of my face. It's like, it's like, real housewives when they've clearly

like been at the weekend and they've got themselves frozen. They're like, like, I was held a gunpoint and it's like, what? You're sure? No, because I have spoken to my doctor since he's so great. And he was like, yeah, you react quite strongly to it, so we'll just do a tiny bit less. And I did look like, yeah, it was a lot. I wouldn't have cast me either.

This girl only acts with her chin. What's happening? But you were a very good actor. You're kind. You're very talented. I've done a self-tape with you before. Thanks, pal. With you?

No, I read in the other part or something. Oh, cool. I've done a couple of, like, like, adverts for, like, thick hairdress. like nice nice stuff like that but I've honestly done like six auditions my entire career yeah this was one of them oh my goodness what a great hit right yeah do we want to say how I actually got this role no yeah yeah I was trying to work out with you forgotten about how it actually happened I did have to audition twice as well for this part so I was I was working with a producer who was making the show on a different thing and I was talking about him

I thought that Helen would be great for it. We were drinking at the Soho Theatre. No, that's before that. No way. Yeah, so I was like, Helen would be amazing. And then I was like, but specifically Helen and Daisy, I'd love to see in a room together. I remember, I was like, I wish that they would meet.

Like, they feel like they'd be so similar. And then we were out drinking. And we went into the Soho Theater and we saw the same producer who's wonderful. And Daisy and I was like, you have to meet Daisy. And you were like, no, I can't. I couldn't. I hate meeting people. I hate meeting them just randomly.

I was like. Get the fuck over you. I went out for two cigarettes to avoid it because Catherine was like, I'm going to go say hello and I was like, I can't. I was like, of course you must, you have to, you will. No.

Anyway, when they met, it was electric. Like, it was honestly, I mean, and by the way, Daisy May Cooper said that if she was gay, she would totally fuck me, which was very exciting. And she said it repeatedly and it meant the world. She said she wanted to come on the podcast as well.

I need to chase up on that. Oh my God, we'd love to have her. I know. She also said that I was too pretty to be funny, which feels rude, but I loved it. But the point is the story's about Helen, which is that they immediately obviously were Helen and Daisy at the same time at each other.

And everyone else just sort of fell into the background. And then I was like, don't you think Helen would be amazing for this? And people was like, of course she would be. And then Daisy was like, well, let's just do the scene now. And then you guys improvved the scene. She auditioned you. I didn't even know they were doing a project. I didn't know she had another description.

I filmed this audition. So I drunkly like improvved with her in the bar. I filmed it obviously. And Catherine filmed it like a stage mom, sent me the message next day being like, you contact your agent right now. Yeah. And you were like, no, I want. And I was like, you're going to say this to your agent. Your agent's going to get in touch.

What happened? Oh, did you get the part? Oh, are you welcome? So I had to message my agent being like, um, so I got, um, how do I got drunk last night and I was at the show theater and I met a producer who I think this is their first name. And I think I auditioned for something, but I don't know. Um, she was like, okay, what's the project called? Like where are they? who's the casting an associate and I was like I don't know it's got Daisy May Cooper in it

I was all it was I told you the production and then we got the audition and then you got the audition and then you fucking got the part babe and I'm a star yes he's a star dog I will to be fair I genuinely I know you're a good agent you find it hard to believe I do actually only want success for you do you really to a point when even when I'm like nah you're like you are gayer you could be the next batwoman you know the women on um the bat woman i think we've got to you could be the first bat woman i'm not doing myself a disservice here by saying that's never going to happen and we have to let that one go i'm not climbing a wall helen helen they'll have a stunt double to do that is i imagine it will be like you can smoke well the stunt double

does it come on don't they famously not have plus size stunt doubles and that's why rebel wilson had to do the silks herself a pitch perfect too i don't really that doesn't sound right that's what i heard Surely they have... On a TikTok video, I think. Oh, wow. That's why I had on TikTok video. Also, I imagine in your Batwoman, it would be like the 60s Adam West version, and they'll just be like walking along a wall that's laid down flat.

Do you get that from now? Boom. I love that so much. I'd love to see you do a really camp Batwoman. That'll be great. Yes, I get the reference. I don't get the reference. Okay, you know what, Ellen?

I believe in you. And there's... Disney films. I'm just saying things I know about. I know. Do we have, like... Go on. Oh, no.

just there's not no nothing no go on just gonna say I found a really lovely video on YouTube when I wasn't riddling in the last couple of days I hate the phrase I hated what's the riddling when you said it's two hours a man rides into a hotel on Friday stays with three nights and rides out on a Friday

correct yeah I found it in the bud ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Andrew's the anti-widdler he's the auntie riddler no I was going to say I found the best YouTube video ever but then I realised

there's something that's interesting. It's interesting for Andrew but not for, oh sorry, I've gone off my riddle website to look at worms. When you are riddling

so when you when I riddle stop saying riddling it feels like fiddling yourself but here's a good one here's a good one I got this one right

Catherine you live in a one story house made entirely of redwood what colour would the stairs be there's no stairs correct

boom it feels good doesn't it how is that A riddle. My question is, when you were on the train trying to work out that coin one. To Liverpool, yeah.

And you said it took two hours. Yeah. Well, two hours 16. Okay. So I got on it and I looked at it and then I arrived in Liverpool, Lime Street. So when you look at the riddle, you go, oh, and then do you just sit there for two hours 16 going,

uh, uh, that's just how she breathes, Andrew. You know, Sunil now does impressions of me walking around the flat to me. Like, he'll just walk down the corridor going like,

huh, ha, ha. Wow. How are you fucking brick? No, I think I was trying to just think about it, but then you know when your brain goes down different avenues of thought and you get confused. That was mainly what was happening.

Right. Yeah. Right. And then you're like playing a game when you're phone and they're like, oh, the riddle! And then you get back into it. One more and then we'll introduce our guest. I don't want one more.

I haven't read these ones yet. I haven't read the single one so far. What seven letter word is spelled the same way backwards and forwards? actually that's a really hard one isn't it is this a fact rather than a riddle I don't know this doesn't feel like a riddle actually it's race car that's a bit boring isn't it how can you leave a room

oh that's cool you don't see a palindrome that's seven often oh yeah that is cool that is cool this is crazy coincidence somebody sent us a palindrome recently on Twitter what trusty hogs yeah somebody sent us a trusty hawk's palindrome really yeah genuinely I couldn't believe it when you just brought that up.

It's a, no, it's not really a riddle as if you just tell us what it is. Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog. Is the same backwards as it is forwards. Someone tagged us in that. I hate that. I'm a lasagna hog. Go hang a salami.

Go hang a salami feels like a phrase I could say, actually. Go hang a salami. You said the first bit and then you say I'm a lasagna hog. Okay. Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog. Dissar. Okay.

One more. More. One more. One more. Helen. Helen. Keep on back for Ania. Helen. You've already said one more several times. Put your phone down. Andrew has a gift for us. Let's distract you with something else shiny. Put that down. Do we find out who sent us the cookie? No, I still don't know. Oh no, but I ate that. So far.

Did you mystery cookie send her? Identify yourself. Please message us. And then give us a gift. Give us a gift. This is from Gemma. Someone got to grab me. Someone got to open. No, it's not. No, it's not traditional that Catherine opens. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah, what's in the corner but goes around the world. It's a Commonwealth game stamp from Birmingham. How gorgeous.

Oh, my God, they're from Birmingham. Oh, that's nice. So this is a gift. This is a gift. Who was? Oh, my God. From whom? Gemma.

I'll just get her own Instagram up. Hi, Gemma. How do we know Gemma? Gemma is a fan of the podcast. I love Gemma. An artist and a printmaker. And it is Prince of Soho Theater. Oh, my God.

You remind you of the times and fun you've had at Soho Theater. Oh, my God. This is. Oh, my God. Me auditioning. Gonding. Dear Catherine and Helen, hope you enjoy these prints of Soho Theater.

We do love the podcast, Jamma. P.S. Good look on tour, Helen. Well, thank you, Gemma. We'll be booking tickets. And congrats on Live at the Apollo, Catherine. Wow. Oh, my God.

Wow. This is amazing. Okay, so it's Gemma Curtis. Wildwater Art Store. I genuinely, genuinely love this. Oh, great. So look at Wildwater Art Store on Etsy. Gemma this is fucking amazing

So gorgeous And also I love the color of the sign Also I have no art for my flat at the minute I'm actually going to spend Sunday trying to look for some I'm going to put this up to the next to the Tony Soprano print I'm going to put it up next to my grass market and Edinburgh print Oh yes that'll be really nice I absolutely love this

Gemma thank you so much Oh my god I love art I can't believe somebody made this I can I love gifts That's Gemma wow that's really amazing So, because it's got space on it, is it a colour in? No, don't colour in, please. Gemma, please tweet us and let us know if it's a colour in.

That looks like a colour in. No, Helen's. You live really near, you can walk that home. No, but I have to go to the comedy store. You get to go home first. No. Yes. Yes, you do.

Welcome to our guest today is Anya Magliano. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. Thank you, Gemma. Thank you, Gemma. Welcome to the podcast, The Incredible, the Gorgeous, the very funny. Anya Magliano. She better be ready to riddle.

That could be a new thing. Are you ready to riddle? Are you ready to riddle? Do you not encourage this shit? Do you genuinely not like the riddles? You like it a little bit, don't you? You're like trick questions. No.

Anya McLeano. Oh my God. It's me. It's Helen and I'm going on my first tour ever. Oh my God. God, it feels so weird. Like, even though I know I said I was going to do it ages ago, I'm now like, oh my God, I'm actually going on tour.

Tell them where you're going. So many places. Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberystwyth, Maidenhead, Norwich, Bristol, Manchester, Birmingham, Shrewsbury, Brighton, Cambridge, Nottingham, Oxford, Leeds, York, Liverpool, Leicester, Newcastle, Berlin, London Soho Theatre. Bloody hell, no excuses getting by... No excuses. I saw that show in Edinburgh.

I'm going to go see it again in Soho. It's so fucking good. She's a genius. She doesn't need a microphone, but she is good. It's good. It's funny. It's loud. You'll have a lovely time. All the tickets are on my website at helenbauer.com.uk. Underlife, please come join me on tour and please bring people with you because it's my first tour and it'd be really awkward if it's just me and one heart. Only four and five star reviews. God, I guess it's actually really very good. No, I got a three and a half. So talk. Okay, you're only four and five dollar reviews. Annie Magwiano, everybody. Hello!

Anya, welcome to the riddler. Helen's new obsession is riddling and it means that she likes to give you a riddle and then you have to be like this is on. Do you remember the beginning of my riddling obsession the night of Eddie Hare's birthday and I spent like two hours asking everyone riddles at the table and then I sort of let go of it.

My riddling is now back. Two hours, isn't that one riddle for you, Helen? I was the riddler of the group. I was asking the riddles. Is it just riddles that you've googled? You're not writing your own. No, no, no. She's no capacity. No, but I should write my own riddles.

You should write your own riddles, Helen. Yeah, actually, why don't you do that and come back to us when you've written them? No, we'll do a couple now for fun. We'll do a couple now for fun. A couple. Yeah, are you ready? You can have one. One? Annia's got a lot to say, and it's not all about your riddles.

It can't be seen, can't be felt, can't be heard, and can't be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills and empty holes. it fills, it comes first and follows after, ends life and kills laughter. What is it? Is it some sort of gas? Nope.

Is it like a... There's a gas within it? There's air? No. Helium? It's not helium. It's not helium. Not atmosphere, no, but that's quite good actually.

But atmosphere doesn't kill laughter. I can if it's the wrong atmosphere. Um The riddle Can't be smell It lies behind Okay It can't be seen

Can't be felt Can't be heard And can't be smelt Silence Mm-mm Okay It lies behind stars And underhills

It's not good Because it's not right It is good It was wrong And empties Natural thinking Yes She doesn't like

She doesn't like I don't know What actual thinking is Helen works In absolutes Yeah Thank you Felt like a compliment

And empty holes it fills It comes first and follows after Soil Ends life and kills laughter Soil Yeah, it ends life Because you get buried in it The answer is

Men No, Cameron Comes first It goes something in a Gills laughter That's nice actually Fills holes Oh my God

That should be the answer Can't be felt Can't be heard Is it? Is it? I can't hear them Okay the answer is You can't even see them

The answer is, the dark. The shark. Oh, I tried to read it off your phone. Why does the dark end laughter? The dark ends laughing. The dark, maybe a really dark joke can kill laughter. That's a bad riddle. Can you downvote it?

I agree. You can't actually downvote it. I've downvoted it. You happy now? What does a snowman like to eat for breakfast? No, this is a cracker joke at this point, surely. Yeah. Frosted flakes!

That's not a riddle. It's just a critical. Helen, this part's over. Look in my face. I am somebody. Look in my back. Does my time mean nothing to you? The answer is, no.

Oh, phony gone. Come on, behave yourself. Look at Anya. Have a nice time. Sorry, Anya. You've had an amazing Edinburgh. Thank you. You're doing Soho Theatre.

Is it sold out? It's sold out. It's sold out. My God. My God. My God. Holy shit. Sold out. Because the show's amazing.

I'm good. I just felt a drop of sweat drip out of my bra. Oh, lovely. To what open is your bra? I don't. Oh, that's warm. Out here. Down the bottom.

Because. Damp, feel the damp. Was it from the riddling or from the... Oh, I think it was from the riddle. Okay, it wasn't the swift turn to your career. It's the most I've used my brain ever. Yeah. No, no.

Because of the volume and the complicated question, it's like a trick question and then somebody's screaming at you. So it's like an escape room. It's really hostile, actually. Don't worry. That's not on you. I'm pretty sure, and you're sweating. because you just came from boxing

and I'm pretty sure it's nothing to do with me. Well, I did boxing at midday today and I'm still sweating from it. He's had a four and a half hour break. Where'd you go boxing? I just went to this class in Shoreditch. One rebel?

No. Which one? You don't have to say, you go there often. I don't want to say. It's my secret class. Yes, because you got that hairdo based on the girl from there.

Yes. Oh. Wait, what? Oh my God. This is my favorite story. Please. Sorry, I don't want to tell out of your behalf. Yeah, this is like the most emblematic story

I think of my person. It's just perfectly. Baudu's who I am. I went to this boxing class. It's like Thai boxing, which I've done before, and then I stopped doing it, and then I started doing it again.

So I was this new class near, like, Clapton area. And I, there was a girl there who was so good. And she was so good. And she had jet kind of black hair. She was cool, too, right? Yeah, she was so cool. Jet black hair. And then the two front strands of her hair were bright red,

and she had bright red boxing gloves. In red. Like a sort of like anime, like an animated character. But so that is like a character. like a character or like thing marvelly yeah yeah and so i saw her and on the way home from that class i bought um hair dark no because you're not her but i could have been no all it required was one simple change i agree i'm with you i totally understand yeah so and so and because my hair is naturally brown i had to bleach it and then do the red and um it did not look uh good

we've all watched enough Brad Mondo videos to know that you do need a professional Yeah it was a sort of thing He would be rolling in his grave Yeah he was dead He's not dead He will live forever So hang on

So you die it Do you then have to go back to the class and see Well then I was like It's actually so obvious what I've done And even if it had Then after you died it you figured That might be obvious Yeah

I was in like a haze of like The endorphins of the boxing Thinking like life is good I can do whatever I want Oh it's that moment Like we all know that moment When you're like this will change it And it was kind of the same part of the hair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the frontal lobe. It goes straight to the brain. So then I did it. And then also was like, not only does this, it looks bad. It's obvious what I've done. Even if it had worked,

it would still be obvious what I've done. I'm not even good at boxing. And then that night I actually had to go on a date as well. Amia. It was really bad. Oh my God. Did the day go well? Obviously not.

No, that was the last date of that. That would be. Collection. That's the shame. How many have you had was it going well until the day? So it wasn't like I could have pretended, oh, this is what it's always been like. It was like clearly something has happened

between first date and this. Oh my God. How did you explain it away? I think I don't know it. I think I could have told the truth because there's no fake explanation for that. No, no, no. The amount of like mental leaks you have to do it.

Oh my God, there is. I was cast in a part and a play. And then two weeks later, oh, the play got cancelled because someone got found out to be a sexual crepe, but I can't say what the project was. Like a million things. Oh, I was helping out with this children's charity where they needed someone who looked like this person and I was like, you know what, I'll do it.

I am so good at lying. You message me next time. I'll give you a lie. I'm like Phoebe and friends. Can I have a lie now? Yeah, what do you want to lie about? What do you get out of? Why I'm sweating out of my breast.

Oh my God, easy. Anything to do with the body. It's a medical thing, but I don't want to discuss it. Okay, great. Nice. Easy. Do you think I went to hospital and I was like bullshit?

I dressed up in a costume and took a picture because I wasn't getting enough attention. Because I did Apollo that week. That's what happened there. That's what happened there. You've got to think about these things ahead, Ania. It's all about the pictures.

But can we talk about your hair now? Because it looks stunning. Thank you. It's really great. It was you were, you pushed me along the path to it. I did. We had a conversation in the last week of the fringe.

I'm always like, go on doing it. That's good because I think there's potential to game keep. That club, isn't there? Yes, there very much is. because no she's not trying to be me I'm not trying to be. No but is this your idea? Oh no and he was like Shall I go a bit redder and I was like absolutely

Look at those gorgeous eyes you could definitely pull it off Thank you. You do look good It's a revelation you look incredible Thank you Do you ever feel like part of you Trying to get women to dye their hair red Is a tiny part of the child And you wanting to recreate the parent trap

With Lindsay Lohan So you can have a moment with someone When you go My birthday is November 13 me too yes and then you hold hands and you go

you know that moment when is your birthday August 13th but they touch hands and they go because their hands feel exactly the same I cannot believe

I wasn't cast in that but that's fine it's one of the best you were too young at that point I wasn't exactly the right age your Lindsay Lohan's age I'm pretty sure

we're very close well for herself no no one even contacted me can you believe can you believe you were a chubby little thing running around concila like how are they going

to get in contact with you I really love to body shame kid, me. You're not Hollywood, are you? I was the only kid who looked, who's ever looked pregnant. So cute, though. As a baby, I looked like I was laboring at all. So cute. Really, so not even like evenly distributed over the body.

No, you know, well, like, a lot of, to be fair, the pregnancy was also in my face. So it was forcing the eyes to close, which is a shame. But a little tummy on little Catherine. Oh, huge, belly. She was second trimestering the whole time. Listen, what's going on with you? Are you well?

Are you happy? Are you excited about comedy? Are you feeling like tired after Edinburgh? I know I am. I feel good. No, I feel okay. You don't talk about it? I feel, no, no, it's fine to talk about it.

I just was like, I had this whole crisis. Is this a normal thing to happen after Edinburgh? Yes. I applied to like work in a primary school. No. What? What? And then like very quickly was like, when they offered me an interview, I was like, oh, sorry, I can't do this because I'm not a teacher.

What job at a primary school? Just sort of principal. principle. No, I applied to go to primary school. No, Anya, that is bad because most of them when they have it in Edinburgh like you've had, like a sellout run, great reviews. They then quit doing day jobs. Yeah, why are you trying to get one? Why did you go

the other way? I got, I was like, um, what are you doing? I need to do something meaningful with my life. Hey, yeah. Charity work. What? No, I was going to say, read tarot cards on a bus for people. Worn women who look like they're going to go die their friend.

Yes. Just stand by bottled dye in boots and say, are you sure? Yeah, like a bodyguard. That's such a good job for me. Are you sure? But it would only take one thing for me to turn around and be like, okay.

I'm in the right place. No, no. If you like have a tattooed in your arm, like no hair dye for Anya. Yes. And then you stand there in the super drug or boots. That's a lovely idea by the Clare rolls and just sort of be like back off.

Back off. He's not worth it. Is everything okay at home? Well, you say that. But then this is like every haircut or hair dye I've had has been bad apart from this one so now I'm like maybe I've cracked it

but don't you think that part of it was when we were talking about whether or not I need to go red we were also talking about how you were going to get a haircut straight after

Ed and I was like absolutely not yeah you put me down for that diet by all means but there will be no cutting I when I got like when my last serious breakup happened

I had to put myself on a six month band yeah you nearly went pixie and I still got a crud you nearly went pixie I know she did curly fringe that was the

and I still like six months later it was like my curly fringe seems like a good idea I wasn't able for that but we tried I love No your calip fringe was fire as well It was just very

It was a big change Huge Joyce It's also actually quite high maintenance Massively I thought it would be It's so But you're also very young I don't feel like I liked anything I did with my hair

Until I was like 28 How old are you? 14 14 14 14 And you still haven't been to primary school I'm thick as fuck

Maybe you should go actually It explains the decisions about it Do you want to do a couple More riddles to see if you're smart or not Have I told you about the really bad haircut I had right before my birthday? I spoke about it at some gigs. Yes, I've been at those gigs, but you haven't told us specifically that's here it? Well, I had this.

It was at the curly hairdresser and they cut off so much of my hair. First of all, he said, I know this story and I'm actually upset here. Yeah. And then we opened with I can sort this out. Yeah. Fuck you, man. Yeah. Fuck you.

Because it was like, it wasn't like curling properly, which. Yeah, but that's just means it needs a trim. It's a little on health. healthy it's getting frizzy or dry maybe it's usually it's because it's too dry he goes i can sort this out and then and then he kept and then he was cutting and i was like oh this is short um and then at the end he said this will look really good in three months and then i went into the westfield in stratford and sat in the loo for 40 minutes i didn't even cry i was like in like i was in like a fugue state oh god it was bad it'll be good in three months go fucking those are the sort of haircuts

that you don't expect to encounter an adulthood because like you know when you're younger like you don't really have a hairdresser like our hairdresser that we had with my mum's friend Chris in her garage yeah and I've had my hair cut by women called Kim in my kitchen so many. Yeah but they're not actually like

they're probably not a qualification they just did their son once and it looked okay at the school gate and everyone was like well I guess she's the local hairdresser now so I would go in with and I would take it quite seriously my hair when I was younger

because I watched like I just wanted to be like everyone on the Disney channel right so I would constantly be taking pictures from like Ms. Magazine of it was long for a while yeah but I wanted to be married Kate and Ashley I had a twin thing when I was younger

still do so sue me and I just really loved it felt sexual didn't it feel sexual feels so sexual but I couldn't tell if you wanted to be in it and fuck your twin or fuck I wanted to be a twin really badly so like Lindsay Lohan in the parent trap Mary Kay and Ashley were like

fucking everything so cool because they're so different because Mary Kate basketball Ashley, fashion. Yeah. What the fuck? Could they be more different? Such defined personalities.

Save Mary Cape, sure. They've got a lot in common as well, like DNA and a dad. Yeah. So like a lot, a lot crosses over. Sister, sister, there's another great one. Oh my God, Tia and Demira.

So good. They really are different though because Tamira has a mom. But I, really. Yeah. See, Damira, Maui. I don't know who that is. Who is that?

Sister sister? Sister sister. Singing. How much time is dear? no I can't believe you don't know what I don't I'll Google oh wait this is an age thing it's an age thing Nickelodeon baby baby that's what just happened we never had we never had any channels other than these guys my aunt says yes thank you and there's Roger the neighbor hey Roger hey Roger okay you don't know the reference and we don't have enough time with

Anya to waste some of our iconic twins basically the premise of the whole show is that they are twins but they one went with the mom one with the dad and then they get reconnected in like Fast episode. That must be the only plot you can do with twins. Single parents. They were both adopted. Oh, yeah, I've got confused of parents. The parents get together.

The parents, it's a will they won't they? It's a will they won't they? You've got a lot to look forward to. But spoiler, they do. Isn't it all on Netflix now? Shut up, is it? I think it is. Wouldry watch?

It's so nice to see you guys come together or something. It is. It is on Netflix. It's very rare. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Everything a bit of it.

Can I don't want to. I'm an adult. Were they, were they dressing alike just out? of coincidence or after they met did they start dressing alike. They started dressing alike because they met but they already had a similar vibe.

They have a similar style. Hey, okay, let's talk about because they're twins. Anya's doing so that people can't buy tickets to. Oh no, I wanted to hear about who your ideal twin would be. I'll incorporate that

into my next dog. Thank you. Catherine. Oh, we'd have such a nice time. We would, but what? I don't really understand like a twin. We have to be quite different.

No, just who would your ideal twin be? You're a sporty twin and I'm the girly twin And we're still both cute with curls and red hair. Yes, I like it. Let's get a treatment to written now. Two bisexual twins? What? Don't mind if we do.

I think that's a category on something. It's already a category on something. I've definitely seen that show. Oh, God, I hate you. Two bisexual twins. While we have Anya, why don't we have her help us solve a problem? Would you help us solve a problem? Oh, I'd love to.

Fantastic. Great. Time flies. It really does. I thought we had like 20 more minutes of twin chat, but we don't. We've run out of time. We've run out of time for the twin chats

I think you should watch sister sister and then come back on the podcast. Okay, I'll do that. That sounds fair actually. I'll do my homework next time. Oh my God, the scenes where they're trying to find

their birth mother with the... Catherine? The graffiti? When they wear the dresses that they shop up, at least had made them by hand to the prom? You have a roller coaster

ahead of you. Spoiler. I will say this. I do know it, but not quite as well as Catherine. I loved it. I wouldn't say I watched every episode. it was just when it was on.

Like, I wasn't like... But then I always forget about how different we were at school. Everything falls apart. We try to do something nice. But we're still best friend. Let's solve the problem. Let's solve the problem. Triplets.

I'll come back next week with red curly hair. One of the gang, one of the gang. You'd actually look incredible as a redhead because of those eyes. You would look incredible. Like a bright red. No one needs... I would be doing a disservice to the redheaded movement if I dyed my hair red

because like they're stereotypical like oh she's a fiery one she's fiery I'm quite fiery if I had my hair red I'd be like buying into the stereotype no but that's why I have to keep my hair red also I'm only blonde because it gives me the bimbo dumb slant my hair's starting to go brown but I'd already develop too defensive personality to keep it if you're a brunette you're just a bitch I have to be a redhead

yeah yeah yeah yeah would you ever go blonde ew no I'm not having a breakdown I've done it I've done it all look at my freckles like you cannot be a blonde with this many freckles So Neil's hair has gone blonde in some places, and it's really funny. That is... Has it? Yeah.

Because, you know, he dyed his beard and hair for, like, that filming thing. Yeah. And then, like, obviously, since living with me, he's gone really grey, because it's stressed or something. And... I wonder why. But he's, like, used my... I think I'm going grey in this podcast. Why?

I know! Why? I'm too having a nice time, sister. But then he used my shampoo, so he's got, like, little blonde streaks. It's really funny. Point it out. It'll kill him. Oh, my God.

I can't wait to. All right, let's hear the problem. Yes. Can I just carry out the problems, but wait. Because sometimes I spring harrowing ones on you by mistake. It's because what happens is I sit here enjoying the show and then you're like, problem, and I have to immediately skim through our entire inbox to try and find something, and sometimes I get it wrong. Okay. This one I think is all right.

Okay. Okay. We can't be sure, though. This is from A. Hi, A. Anya. Hello. Hello. Hello.

I am a woman in my 20s and I have been out to my friends as demisexual for a few years now. Pause. What's demisexual? Demisexual, I believe, is where you don't form, you can't have sexual attraction to someone without having formed a romantic connection and a meaningful, deep connection with him. Oh, I get that. I find it really hard to, like, come if I'm not, like, genuinely, like, very invested in the person. Okay. I'm, I'm not sure where it sits on the spectrum of sexuality, and I don't wish to judge or make any statements, but I think it just means you're not, not, no, it doesn't just mean, I think it means you certainly wouldn't be into things like. one-night stands. I don't know if it's... Is it a sexuality?

I'm true. Um, good question. I, um, I don't know. It unfolds more. A, do you know we are ignorant to this at the moment, but we will do our best. I think you are right. It's definitely about meaningful relationships. Meaningful relationship. Not that the others aren't, no, it's about a depth of feeling that needs to be developed

as a precursor to sex. Yes, okay, good. Oh, um. We're not going to say that other things aren't meaningful. Of course. Uh, I mostly still feel that label is accurate, but I've recently been coming to terms of the fact that I experienced some level of a, a sexual attraction to women, and actually more so than men.

But the confusion is, I feel nothing romantically for women. I'm romantically attracted to men, God knows why, which can lead to wanting a sexual relationship with them, whereas I can want a sexual relationship with a woman right away, but never want a romantic relationship with them, while overall still experiencing much lower levels of sexual attraction to anyone than an alosexual person would. Persian?

And what does that term mean? Persian. It's like a Persian person. It's a really bold man. People who are alosexual are those that experience sexual attraction to others. Yes. So, yeah. I've lost where I was now.

Just keep seeing the word sex. Allo sexual. Allo sexual. Thank you. I would like to explore my sexuality with women, but I really don't want to ever make another woman feel like I'm just using her as an experiment, which I know is a common thing that queer women can experience. I'm thoroughly confused and very anxious. about the whole thing. I've never been in a relationship with

anyone, largely due to various different reasons that meant I missed out on typical awkward coming of age experiences. So a bit more established now in later life, wants to experiment with their sexuality but doesn't want to use a woman or be perceived to be using somebody to do that. What are your thoughts? I've got it. Oh, Helen's got it? You don't want to use a woman. Helen's got it.

Helen's got it. Here we go. Ooper realistic sex dolls. And then you can just like, play around with that because then Dole doesn't have feelings really unless it's one of those really good AI ones in which case they might do so definitely be kind

It feels like an expensive option Oh you can get like body pillows and stuff as well It's just like the shape of a woman in a pillow and just have fun with that Okay You can make a hole in anything and a holes a goal It feels like it's sorted but do you maybe want to have some input anyway on you?

I don't know if I have the answer Okay, unlike Helen Yeah I mean obviously And listen how could we know The obvious one's been in the end of the day What is a problem if not a riddle Oh, okay. The riddler strikes again.

Please email your riddles to trusty hogs at Gmail. Please send more riddles then. Anya? I don't know the answer, but I really definitely recognise that experience of anxiety, of being like, oh God, I don't really know what the right words are to be using. And also, like, I think there's so much when you're, like, embarking on a new sexual experience with a gender or a gender identity that you haven't. one with there's so much because like there's like the nerves of the actual experience and then

there's all the like ripple effects of like what does this mean for my sexuality what does this mean for my like it goes out in such a thing where it's like it's very easy especially if you have like an anxious disposition to be like oh there's so many levels of this I think it's very okay to be anxious about it and I don't think that reflects on the validity of the feelings at all um really well put thank you I don't think it made any sense no it actually I I followed it, so it definitely did. I think I would also, I think I, I think two things. One, I think it's fair to say that you can have experiences sexually without them being

definitional of you. Oh, yeah. In the same way that I think we would be like, gay women aren't not gay if they've had sex with a man because they wanted to, they had to check if it was like, or it circumstantially happened and they did have feelings that one year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, first of all, I'd say like, any experience you have doesn't have to be like defining. Or let's say you're a straight woman who spent three years during her youth, making out

exclusively with women at parties. Yeah, sure. Sure, it was because you thought the boys wanted it. But still, did you enjoy it? Yes. Okay. Not quite what I was saying. So close, though. We're on the same page.

We're all on the same page. I also wonder if you'd agree with this, but I guess my feeling is like, don't be afraid to afford other adult women agency. And by that I mean, provided you have clarity and are honest from the outset, namely, I like to say,

I don't want to date women, or maybe don't say, I don't want to date women, but I'm not looking to date you. Shout it in the street. I don't want to date women. But like, I don't want to date you. I am open to a sexual experience with you. Then they have the full information

at which point they can make a decision about themselves because I'd be pretty willing to bet you're not the only woman who would like to just have sex with women. That is so true. Whether it's because they're discovering their sexuality or because of the place they are in their life or because of what they want or need at the time, I think like if you are frank and kind,

then people can make their own choices. They can. This happens in Pretty Little Liars all the times. Like, PLL, you know, pretty little liars. No, no, we know pretty little liars. We're queer. They just, you know, if you, oh, is it a gay show? They're a gay.

Emily's gay. Yeah, Emily's a gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's legally a gay show. And Allison, rest in peace. Legally gay. Rest in peace. Whoa, spoilers. I was one of my early, like, fuck, she's fit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one who died. Allison. Yeah. We have the same bus. A. Oh, because I would find, I find the other one which sex here. Emily?

Yeah. I like Aria having sex with her teacher. No, that's such a grim story. It's a grim story line. I just watched season one. Like, it's very fresh in my mind. I had something to say. Yeah, I think you did about this specific incident.

Oh, I had something to say about pretty little liars. Go on. Yes, I think when I first slept with a woman, we were both doing that and neither of us said anything. We weren't like doing that as in we weren't. We were figuring out where the clip was together. We were on a beautiful mission of discovery. No, I think we weren't like, oh, we don't want to date, but I think we were both new to it,

but neither of us said it. And I think it made each of us more anxious because we didn't think that about the other person. It's only now in retrospect that I'm like, oh, that's clearly what was going on. We were both just really scared and nervous. But then you're like, oh, God, I'm probably doing it. I'm doing this terribly.

They know everything. They know. And it's like, also, I think I don't, I think all my. relationship with like sex in general just changed when I read a book about sex and was like oh right which one did you read come as you are yes it's a great one it's so good oh what's that one about it's a yeah and about how it works and desire and and tapping into your own and and like reframing certain ways people talk about sex to be like oh like the the language is wrong yeah

like the actual feelings are normal okay I want to read this It's so good. It's really good. Come as yours. Is this spell C-U-M? No. Oh, that's a shame. It's such a shame that a book that had such a profound impact on my life has a pun as the title.

Yeah, it really is. I really wish it did it. No, but we're all there with you. It's fine. The first, that was the second most influential. The first was when I was 16, I read Hot Sex by Tracy Cox. Now the Daily Male Sex. Oh.

No. What a fall from Grace. I know, but it had two articles in it, like in the book written, well-time pieces written by sex workers on How to Give Head which at 16 having never had sex wouldn't have sex for another three years it felt like too much information

But weren't you told at school about like keeping your thumb in your hand and squeezing down so like blocks your gag reflex like a second? I've never heard that in my life yeah shout to the teachers at Courtmore no this is the pre-low lines

you squeeze down like that with your thumb inside and it like blocks your gag reflex for a second I did hear that but not from a teacher Not from a teacher, no, from the students. Okay, sorry. Being banterous. I hope that isn't what people take away from this episode. I really hope it is, actually.

If you left here with a newfound love of riddle and like constantly trying to stop your gag reflex just so you can try and deep throw it without chucking up on the stomach. Spoiler alert, you will still throw up on the stomach. It doesn't work that well. Okay, we were kind of hoping that they take away that like women have agency and you should read come as you are. Yeah. And also just like, I think it's okay. I think I definitely think the feeling when you're, when you haven't figured it out is the assumption that

everyone else has because you feel like alone but it's actually like there will be a hundred other people are you the first guest who's given better advice than me no i think jay did pretty well did she not i think this is pretty damn good this is very good this is too twin okay well three great advice someone is knocking at our dot we've run over we've run over we've got to say thank you so much sorry oh my gosh okay so um annie magliano you're a joy i love watching you do stand-up Nobody doesn't like you. You have your own thing going and it's great. People can see you where.

We don't know. You're going to release some new dates maybe. I've got one. It's out. What is it? It came out. It went on sale today. What's it called?

Where is it? Lester Square Theatre. Ah, it's a big one. Yes. Great. Friday, 11th of November. 9.30pm. Get your tickets.

We'll be there. Oh, do your two minutes silence at 11 a.m. And then wait. Wait nine hours and then go see Annie Magliano. I really want to come. I'm going to be there. Have you not seen it yet? No, I'm dying.

Oh my God, it's so good. Okay, great. I'll be there for that. Everyone should definitely go. Anya will have all her details on her Instagram and her Twitter. Just follow at Anya Mag. But we will also link her and everything that we post about this. Also, you'll see me in the audience, but don't get confused, just because we're twins.

It's not my show. It's an issue. They'll think it's a mirror in the audience. It's just crazy bands, guys. And then the second thing to say is where can people follow you? At Anya Mags on Twitter. At Anya Magliano on Instagram. God, she's good.

Are you TikTok? And at Ania Magliano on TikTok as well. Very nice. And you can follow her at Boxing somewhere in Clapton. No. Something to think about. Thank you so much, Anya. Bye.

We've got to go. Thank you.