Trusty Hogs - Ep54. SEAN MCLOUGHLIN / Marathons, Magnets & Mean Omelette

Episode Date: October 13, 2022

Sean McLoughlin joins us for another super fun episode fresh from filming Live at the Apollo and ahead of his national tour! He’s a stand-up star and the perfect guest to field a comedy writing problem, as well as discussions on omelettes, running, and rhinos...FOLLOW SEAN: @SeanMcLoughlinThank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Eddie Doyle / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes  / Sarah & Molly  / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie Chivers / Graham Marsh / Emily GeeWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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50 extra episodes in your inbox, wherever it works. For a five for a month. For a five for a month. Do it. Join us. Fog, step for the trusty hogs, yeah, you're gonna give them your problems and they will solve them, or maybe they won't, and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech.

Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs, trust the trusty hogs, or maybe not. Hello, welcome. Yes, welcome to episode 54 of Trustee Hogs. I, Catherine, I'm very excited to be here. Helen is also here and feeling devastated. Devastated because she hasn't had the most ideal start of the day. Miserable.

And consequently she is the saddest woman in the world. I was the saddest woman in the world. I thought I was the saddest woman in the world. And then you broke it to me that someone who I thought was amazing died. Can I just say, I did not do. Okay, so look, hello, welcome to episode 54. This is an episode where we tell you about our lives. we answer your listener.

Stop crying. Everyone dies in the end. And I know that. It is true. But basically, I've just been to Derry. I was trying to tell Helen about my beautiful holiday, went to Derry, was there for work, but also a gorgeous day in the city.

He did a walking tour, Helen was like, I've been to Derry. I did the walking tour, the lovely man called Martin. And I was like, oh. So there's a plaque where the walking tour starts because Martin, who runs the company, I think has died. Oh, God.

But Tony really mentions him at the start of the chat. His name's on the back of the jackets. His wife and son run the company. his memory lives on. He was so full of life in 2011. Well, it's now 2022. Do you know what I'm saying? I went to Derry and I had a walking tour

with a group of friends from a lovely man called Martin and he died. Listen, Tony still does a great tour. Tony gives great tour. It's no bother. You think it's my fault? No, how would that be your fault?

Do you think maybe this isn't about you? No, I can't fathom that. I feel like it's not. Stop crying, Helen. Helen. Helen. Yeah. Many men you've met in your life are dead now.

No! Oh God, it's been so awful this morning. I was at Manchester train station and you know they have that statue outside of the train station of all the men coming back from the war and they're all blind and they've had a horrible time. I love those men are all dead. They're old.

Every Santa whose lap you've sat on, dead. Dead. Anyone who's granddad you met in primary school, dead. Catherine. They're all dead. But I brought you a gift from Derry! No, stop crying and I'll give you the gift. Stop crying and I'll give you the gift.

Take a breath. Take a breath. Wait, to you hear what's actually happened to Northern Ireland. Oh, my gosh. Why no? Again. No one's ever died there. Everything's fine.

I brought you this gift. No, they did Sunday, bloody Sunday. You don't even know what that means. It's about how annoying a Sunday is. I knew you were doing portrait. I knew you were doing part of it. Fuck, you didn't even pay attention to Martin's walking to her. Wipe your eyes.

Wipe your bloody eyes. I brought you this from Daring. Thank you. It's a magnet. I know, it's a magnet. Oh my God. Isn't it a good one? Christ, sure.

A cheeky cream finger is just heaven, Sister Michael. I fucking love it. I love it. Isn't it good? Yeah. Don't you cry. Don't you cry. Don't you cry.

Don't you cry. Who else would have liked it? Martin. would have loved it. Martin would have loved it. I'll tell you what, the tour now, as opposed to 2011, is largely about how, I don't know if you know this, but in Derry, they shot Dairy Girls. Is that mainly the tour? It's the main guest of the tour. Also, Tony's son had himself dated into Dean Coyle, but Tony couldn't talk about it. He could not talk about it. Shut the fuck up.

He was willing to answer, no questions, but he brought it up. So it's like, well, Tony, who started this? How many times do you drop it into conversation and then go, but no questions? Genuinely three. And also brought up Dairy Girls so many times. But anyway, there's your Magnet. I love it. Em, over here. Hi, Em. Hi.

You got me a present. Em? Em went on holiday. Where'd you go, Em? I went to Sicily. Ooh, Sicily. Helen doesn't care how your holiday was. I do.

How was it? It was really nice. It was great. Lovely. Helen thinks you've gotten her a gift. You did. You said you got me a gift. Do you want to come over and get it?

Yes. Go on. Off you go. She doesn't care at all to ask a single question. Did you have a nice time? Oh, I have such a nice time. Sick. Sick.

What is it? What is it? Okay, it needs some explanation. It's like canoli is the food of Sicily. This is like an actual canola that got dipped in resin and is preserved forever. Wait, there's food inside of the resin. Yeah, it's real. No, don't try to eat it.

Don't how to eat it. It's so good. It's so good. Did not try to eat that. It does not taste good. That's amazing. That's actually so much. That's the best magnet that's ever been on this podcast.

Catherine Helen Do you want to open up more about the marathon I need to tell you about it so we have to stop

calling a marathon I did a half marathon yesterday The marathon that you ran I did a half marathon yesterday The rumor has it We won the marathon

For a hundred miles So yeah No we Chloe and I did the Half marathon Through the Royal Parks Yesterday for St. Mungos

And I couldn't have done it with anybody else actually truly oh my god this is so funny at mile 11 i was really flagging like really flagging oh my god mile 11 i had 9 11 no mile 11 at mile 11 oh my god it's always on your mind at mile 11 i was like oh i need to walk for a second and you're never going to be chloe goes katherine think about helen bower and princess die we're doing it for them will you buy the memorial fountain maybe oh maybe that's what she said it that would make more sense which park were you in We were by the Peter Pan in High Park

So close to the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain I thought she just ran out of it Did you not do the things on the floor The Princess Diana Walk? It makes sense as to why she ran I was like what a random thing But I do feel more inspired now So yeah

Honestly to God it was hell It was hell You ran for dying Helen Yeah here's the thing though What I realised about a half marathon Because like a couple weeks ago We did 10 miles together And that was fine

But something happens A it's like the adrenaline The fear the pressure of other people The hype the excitement It's all a bit much. The bibs, the bibs. The bibs. But also, at the start, you're waiting.

So you're, like, piled into this, like, section where you're ready to start. And, honest to God, everything around you is the most depressing sight you've ever seen. Because, so some of them are funny, right? Like, we saw this woman who just had stroke written across the shirt. You're like, that's hilarious. Underneath it said, like, foundation, but in tiny. Stroke. And you're like, oh, God, this is terrifying.

But most of the T-shirts, like, you're looking around. And, like, someone to the left is, like, got a picture of their dad and it's like in loving memory of Dan what a great and it's like all the reasons he's great and you're like don't read the teeth like hell honestly god

at one point I was like Chloe look at me don't read that t-shirt do not look at that look at me don't look at don't read the t-shirt there's like signs of women who've passed and like their children running for them and like a grandmother's running for like just like our men running for their friend

for prostate cancer and just like oh my god everything's just like too much and then you're like don't read that so then you look over here and this woman's lost your child so she's like she's doing it for like angels you're like oh my god This is hell.

For angels. But like an angels aside or so it's like, oh, it's like for like babies. And you're like, oh my God, this is genuinely, this is like every. Like you're supposed to be like amped up to run and you're just like, good Lord. The world is so sad and depressing and this is so bleak. You're actually at that point you're like hoping for just a generic cancer t-shirt because you're like, that could be anyone. Do you know what I mean? One and two of us.

One and two of us. Just give me a cancer tea. That'll be fine. And then they're like, ready? And you're like, oh God, the world is so tragic. Oh, and the rhinos are tying. Cool. let's go

and they're like start and you're like it's so depressing but then you start and there are like women in their 80s there were two women

so it had to be octogenarians in in these like running scorts honest to God they were divine their names were Val like it's like they had like shorts under these skirts they were so cute netbook one was called Val

one was called Jan I think and they had a lot And you're just like, well, if Val's giving it a go, I better move my butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just, it was a lot, a lot to process, actually, I thought, a bit much. And we went to the Peter Pan statue. Yeah, we did all the rural parks. And it was good, but it's the environment's very intense.

And then also, you are like running in waves, which is totally fair because obviously some people are phenomenal. But it does mean that because it loops a lot, a lot of the time you're on mile six. and you see people on mile 11 and you're like, oh my god like fuck you yeah, it's just like good for you but fuck you it's not my distance is what I've learned it's not my distance ahead of I'm glad I did it

and the charity really kept me going but I don't want to run 10K and then realize I have 11 to go I want to run 10K how's that a half marathon oh yeah it's 21K wait what's a marathon 42 kilometers 26 miles

no yeah that's how kilometers and miles work yeah Bloody hell It's 13 miles Right So you're like The thing is

I want to run 10K And have someone Tell me well done God I wish I was in London I could have given you my phone I would have got so many Pokemon points The thing is 10K is

That is so I would have hatched like Five eggs And Pokemon Go with that If I just popped it in your bra It's the first I've ever run And I'm glad I did it But I would never do it again

Chloe's already signed up For another half I'm good What I've learned from it Is 10 is my day Wait Chloe got the bug Chloe's like I'm so glad I know

That I get so depressed at mile nine. I'm like, I'm so glad I never have to do that again. She's like, that's good intel for the next run. I'm like, 10 is my distance. 10 is my distance. I love a 10. 10 I can cut my time down. 10 I can feel smug enough that I've done a good long run, but I don't need

to be going further than that. I think you should do the full marathon next year. Absolutely not. I'd really truly, it's not for me. I think it's for you. No, it's not. It's really not. What's the Great North Run? Is that a full marathon? I don't know. Do that one. My cousin, Sophie, who he spoke about

in last week's episode, the one that texts me being like, who's Catherine fucking. She once did a marathon or the Great North Run. And she went up to Newcastle to do it. And she was staying with some of our family who, like, were the big boys, right? And the night before, they were like, so we're ordering a Chinese,

but like northern Chinese, not southern Chinese. So chicken balls, chips and everything fried. Just incredible. And she was like being polite and eating it. And then in the morning, she was like, I just need like a big thing of oats, right? Like loads of porridge. And they'd already started frying the bread.

No. And then she was doing the run. She'd been training for for ages. And then she got overtaken by three people in gorilla suits. No. And she was like, yeah, my life's sober. There's nothing worth of being overtaken by anyone in an animal costume. We were running behind a rhino.

We ran behind a rhino for so long. It was so annoying. So I will say this. So I went to A&E the night before. Yeah. Which was ridiculous because basically I'd had this really horrific stomach pain for three days. Basically, I went to hospital. Then Catherine had.

to go to hospital with a pain at the top of your tummy. I've only been to A&E twice in my life. I don't know why I bothered. I should have just called my GP. But basically I had this horrific. Because it's fun. I had this chronic pain. I don't find it fun.

I had this chronic pain for three days. And my friend was like, you got to, my friend. My friend was like, you got to call 1-1. So I called 1-1-1. And I feel like 1-1 always they go to A&A. Don't they? No, they told me not to go before. Oh, they were like, you got to go to A&E.

So it's like, they were like, you got to go the next 20 minutes. And I was like, are you kidding? So I was like, I'm not doing that. But then the person I was with was like, you are doing that. And I was like, I don't want to do that. I know. And so we went and they took bloods and urine or whatever and did tests.

But then I'd been waiting for two and a half hours. And then they were like, cool, that's your bloods and urine's taken. So we're just going to, you just need to, we're going to leave this thing in your arm, this like. Can you la? Sure. Yeah. And just, it'll be about four hours.

I was like, no, take it out. I'm going home. I have a half, it was that was at almost midnight. and I had the half marathon I had to be up at seven I was like take it out and I said You are really afraid of being late

aren't you? No, what I am afraid of is I'd raised all that money and people had I wouldn't have done a half marathon if it was just like just me the next morning But I would have let you keep the money

No, it's not for me I'm not keeping the money It's for St Mungos No, but you keep the money to give to St Mungos But I was just like Ah this is just silly So I said to the nurse

I'm going to half marathon in the morning and she seemed fine with it So I was like grand we're going But then we did go home And it had been a long time in A&A, so I did have a McDonald's at midnight the night before. I think we were supposed to carbload the night before a big run, aren't you? I was supposed to have McDonald's at midnight when you're getting...

Yes! Yes! What'd you order? What'd you go? Well, I'm allergic to most of it, so just chips and spright and I had some mozzarella. I would jet on the mozzarella sticks with the tomato dipping sauce. I actually just, I just dip them in barbecue. I prefer it that way. And then I got some gluten-free bread and I made a chip buddy with the McDonald's chips. You know what you're doing. I'm doing.

You're not a moron. I'm fucking proud of you. If I hadn't had the stomach my stomach pain and the half marathon, I would have got a milkshake, but that felt like risky business. I'd probably have gotten chocolate. Chucky.

Yeah. Chucky milky. I love a chocolate milkshake from McDonald's. My God, the nostalgia of it all. So good. But you listen, it was terrible prep. And I got there with what Chloe Pets described as a bad attitude.

Which I... You got bad attitude by Chloe. We self-motivate in different ways, right? I started a half marathon like, look, this will be dog shit, we're going to be bad, it's going to be bad, let's just get out over with. All we have to do is get to the next mile. That would not have been Chloe's perspective. Chloe is telling people in the Portalukyu that she's going to run so fast, she's going to cause a tornado. Yes, Chloe!

We're in the slowest group, by the way. The slowest group you can be in. And we did it in under two and a half, and I'm happy with that. That's good, no? That's fine. it's not great but it's fine I think it's good that's all we wanted

we just wanted to not be over 230 we were like in our heads so once we overcame that they have it's so cool they have like people who run at a specific pace pace keepers so once you get to the 230 people you're like bye you suckers

and then you really want to stay marginally ahead of them to feel like it's gonna be okay that's really nice yeah I don't think you're supposed to shout bye you fuckers out middle age women who are trying their best actually in memory of my father fuck you bitch

run faster were there people like holding water buttles out like this. Holding cups out. There were loads of people cheering. There were loads. Oh my God. There was one man. He was my favorite. There were loads of people like cheering for their moms, cheering for their partners cheering for like the charities. The charities did a gorgeous St. Mungas were like really supportive when we got to them.

There was a woman who recognized it as us at another charity and she was so supportive. There were lots of lovely people and they were bands playing brass bands. It was really cool. Brass bands. Running. But no, just playing by the. Oh. But there was this one man who was stood and he was like proper like old school. Cockney and he was like, That's my go. That's my

go. And he was like, he was in his 50s, she was in her 50s and he was like, go one more go! And I was like, oh my actual, but he was like so proud and so like, that's my girl. And I was like, I actually made me teary at Mile 7. I was like, he was like

so, he looked at he was like, he was just like so like, that's my girl, I see her and I'm so proud of her and she's so impressive. And honestly, like we were all going, frankly, so slowly. and it was just he was so hyped and it was so cute and that was gorgeous

and at the end Chloe took my hand down we sprinted in my head we sprinted towards the end you jumped you leaped you pirouettes marginally faster and also I saw Andrew 600 metres out because Andrew's dad was running it so I saw Andrew before he saw me

so I was like Andrew and Andrew and the squeal was enough to get me to the end little squeal from Andrew so literally all I wanted to say was thanks to anyone who sponsored us I won't be doing it again so don't worry, I won't be asking you again. But there's still time to find our link on GoFundMe if you want, but no pressure.

Obviously, there is no pressure, but thank you for anyone who did. But it would be really nice, you know what I mean? It would be really nice. It's like run really far. Thank you so much. And then Em was at the finish line. And she looked glowing, glowing. And then we all went for a roast.

I saw this. I was like, that looks like a good roasty. It was a really fucking bang average roast. Oh no. average roast but you know what we ate it like it was fucking manna yeah yeah yeah we'd run 13.1 miles and we deserved it

but not a full marathon though Catherine no as established poor Catherine thank you for your support at this difficult time and I think let's just remember that all of those amazing people running will die at some point because we all die and the world's a horrible place wow you're really dark today should we bring on our guest

yeah not with this at it stop crying about Martin we're bringing on Sean ready everyone please welcome to the hogs pod It's Sean McLaughlin. Sean McLaughlin. Hey, Helen, are you going on tour? I'm going on tour. I'm on tour. Tell me more.

Thank you so much for everyone who's already come to. Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberyst, with Norwich, Bristol, Bristol and Manchester. It's been real. Thank you for my gifties as well. I genuinely very much appreciate it, including the artwork that makes Catherine incredibly upset. It's anxiety. It's beautiful. I am still on tour for the rest of the month.

I am going to Birmingham, Brighton, Cambridge, Nottingham, Oxford, Leeds, York, Liverpool, Leicester, Newcastle, Berlin, London and then Maidenhead at the end, because we had to move it. So definitely, definitely come for the big final end of the tour, 18th of November, midweek in Maidenhead. It's going to be fucking popping. But we do have a full week at the Sore Theatre in London and my mother's coming to one of them, so you have to come and see if you can get a good. glimpse of the Ambao School of Drama herself. It's such a good show. It's such a good show. It's such a good show.

Oh, it's so... It's a lovely show. Good. It is moving. You know what? It's really, really funny. Just come, thank you. Hello, thank you so much for listening to the podcast.

If you love it and you'd like some more free extra episodes with every single week, then why not support us on Patreon? where you get just that and you also get all the back catalogue of our extra episodes where there's 54 at your disposal or there's 55 at your disposal or there's more than 50 at your disposal There's a lot of episodes at your disposal

it starts at just £3 a month 5 pounds a month gives you access to every single episode we've ever recorded Yeah loads of perks on Patreon there if you want to go have a look So many perks and also makes us feel so warm on the inside It really helps us make the podcast genuinely It's what keeps us going

It's what makes it happen And we couldn't be more appreciative But also I think it's really worth the old I think it's worth the money because it's like the price of a coffee and you get so much content. It's a price of an omelet. And let's be honest,

we sell ourselves out really on the Patreon section, don't we? We tell all of our secrets. That's where all of the sex chat is. Too much. Yeah, you think we overshare on the podcast if you want to know what's actually happening and let's be honest who we're fucking.

Then just join the Patreon, I'd say. Join the Patreon. Thank you. Go on. That's very cool. I had a canoli the other day that was, it was a different outer. It was like, is it peanut brittle?

Is that what they call it? Shut up. Cafe Bruno, Soho, quality omelets at affordable prices. And then a canoly. That's the short McLaughlin experience. How is the canoly? Canoli was, it was actually a bit much.

But it was, if you know what you're getting into, it's good. My local coffee shop does them with the gluten-free ones are like Florentines on the outside. The one opposite of you? No, just up to the two doors. is up and it's a bit much too, I'd say. Delicious, but it's like you want a small bite of sweet. You don't want to like fucking break your teeth sweet.

Yeah, that's it. I have a question, not colline-related. Have we started, by the way? Oh, 100%. Genuinely. Welcome, Jean-McGlock, yeah, sure, man. Define affordable omelette. Because I would love to know where parameters are with this and include toppings and extras.

What's enough affordable omelet to you, my man? I think if you're charging more than 10 pounds an omelette, you're in no man's land. That's madness. That doesn't happen. It's happening. No, it's not happening. Where is that happening? Excuse me?

Look, we're not all living in your metropolitan bubble, okay? Some of us, get out there. Our point is, of course, you're not charging more than a 10. It's happening. This is Britain in 2022. There are people, go to Soho. Sorry, go to Soho. I didn't want to get this hard too early on it.

You are raising your voice at me, sir. And I just said, define affordable omelet. And you went, not all of them are living in your metropolitan bubble, your fat bitches. And that came out of nowhere as far as good terms. And it was weird because we are saying they should be less than a 10. And you're eating your omelets at the Ivy? What's happening? I'm going to be honest with you.

I didn't know we'd started filming yet. I didn't know we'd start recording. My plan was to have an airwaves gum before because I'm very worried I've got coffee breath. But we all have coffee breath. I've got omelet breath. I actually did pay for an omelette this morning. It is on the mind. How much was it?

It was £7.90 came with chips. Santa Salad. Now that's different. That's not just an omelet. That's a meal. Where are we having that? Some sort of cafe? Some sort of cafe.

Cantee? It was a cafe. I won't name. I'm not going to name my sauces. No. And that's not a cafe. That's a calf. A cafe does not serve an omelette with chips and salad.

Right. A calf serves omelet chips and salad. This is a very good distinction. I agree with you. Thank you. This was a place where, and I go there a lot. Yeah. But this is my sort of treat to myself.

Because that's, you know, a man of the people. I go. there, I sit in the corner, and then it has a little stack of Mars bars, and you can buy those as well. Now, a cafe, would you go near. The French don't have a stack of Mars bars? Good Lord! Well, the difference between a cafe and a cafe is,

a cafe, if you ask for ketchup, they'll bring it to you in a ramekin. In a calf, you never have to ask, because it's there. Yeah, you're so right. Your access to your condiments is free. And it's in a sachet, and it's made by company that no longer exists. And it tastes exclusively of vinegar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, hi, how are you?

It's great to see you. Thank you for having me. I've got another omelette. thing. Okay. You're rolling it up and this is your punishment. Honestly, I go out for omelets maybe three times a week. It's becoming a problem. I'm a massive omelet fan.

My, I live a vegan household. My wife is vegan. So I live very vegan. We don't have any meat or dairy products in the home. So my treat is once in a while. One in a while, three a week. Three a week, Sean, my gosh. It is increasingly becoming a habit.

I am sweating now. You're actually having a panic. I'm getting the egg sweats. I don't stop crying, though, so that's good. This is a good stamp. Come on, okay. I got up for an omelet. So that's why I went to Cafe Bruno.

Hence the, was the Canoley chat on air as well? Oh, probably. Yeah. So it all comes full circle. If you want, I can take you on an omelette tour. I mean, I don't want to talk about walking tours now based on what's happened. I've been to the most famous omelet shop in the world. Where?

It is in somewhere in India. I want to say Jaipur or Jodpur, maybe. And there's a man who just does omelets. and they are incredible. How come we've never heard? Incredible. Because I haven't told you about it before and you're not very well travelled.

How about that? How about that? I've seen egg slut in Soho. Don't think that name's necessary. I think it is. That's what they call me actually. I think it's a bit... It's a bit much actually.

Because the chickens are slut because they're not getting fertilised and they're just enjoying sex for no fertilisation and that makes them slutty. It feels like you don't know... And they're an egg slut. My secret is I don't... I don't eat an egg.

from a chicken that's had sex, they must have made love. And there is a distinction, and I can taste the difference. You can taste the feeling. I'm an omelet hack for anyone. As someone who worked at hotel breakfast buffets, I can tell you now, they will make you an omelette. It is part of their job. They don't have it on a little plaque because usually the servers, myself included and hide it, because

it's annoying to take your omelot order and go to the kitchen and bring it to you. But we will make you a boast, but Beesburg omelette at most, like, mid-range. hotels onwards upwards upwards yeah really absolute fact you know I make my own omit I make a mean omit I would say really yeah how's it mean

it's just I just add a little spite at the end yeah yeah yeah fuck you here you go yeah that's good as you serve all your meals yeah you're welcome and then you go well I'll do the dishes Catherine then she's like you won't do them right she's not wrong

she's not wrong I also make a good frittata which is different I think that's got potato in it no yeah and often like feta and lots of deliciousness. Now, what is the difference between a frittata, real talk, and a Spanish omelet? I can ask Siri. But generally, doesn't a Spanish omit

generally have, like, roasted potatoes with lots of fried onion, whereas a frittata tends to be more like cheese base? Okay, that's good to know. In my head. Part of me feels it was Spanish omelette, and then someone went, I believe it's originally called a frittata. It's like the Barcelona, Barcelona.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just like that it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. That cunt's got involved. There we go. There we go. One's just got a little more cunt in. But I liked the fried onion explanation.

I felt like you were grabbing at it, but you said it was such conviction that Sean was like, actually, yeah. I don't know. There might be an onion thing. But there's like a lot of shalada in a Spanish omelet. Whereas in a frittata, I don't necessarily do as much. Interesting. What is the frittata's nation of origin? It's fine.

It's got to be Spain. It's got to be Spain. I think I'm making this distinction purely based on like deliciously Ella. And it feels like she's not the authentic Spanish voice. Deliciously Ella. from the protein balls in the supermarket. You know it. She's doing well for herself.

She is. She is doing well. That girl's living on egg white omelets. Oh, God. Really? Don't you think? No, you need the yolk for the flavour. I agree.

Another little omelet hack for you. How often do you find yourself? I've hungover. I don't even if I'm hungry, which is how I know it feels. Why are you hung over? Because I went out on Saturday night and I'm now on my mid-30s

and so it's never end. It's Monday. Yep, yip-bib-bib-bib-bib. That's two days. Monday the 10th of October, you went out on Saturday. 8th of October. That's correct. Wait.

How many drinks did you have? Where'd you go? I didn't even have that many drinks. I don't drink much anymore. Oh, for fuck, they. And then I went out... You live in an all-vegan household. You barely drink.

It's awful. How many drinks did you have on Saturday? Oh, God, this is going to be a really depressing answer. No, do you know what? I had... Shandy. And half a packet of wine gubs and too many eggs in the omelette. I had...

I reckon I had five pints. That's a lot. That's a... And I switched to water because we went afterwards. went to like a club you switched to order at the club at the club and i found out after my second soda water that my they've been putting vodka in them okay that's who's they my friends who i was with oh okay cool i was like is they the staff or they they as your wife you're trying to get me drunk guys uh where is this place that you went club what club did you go to i don't know man it was really

weird we went i did a tour show i'm on tour uh in brighton okay Sean is on tour remember that we'll plug in the end, but Sean's on tour. With the lads. Eating eggs all around the world. Did. I'm eating eggs. I've eaten omelets in four of the cities that I've been on tour. That is not a joke.

I didn't know this was like a thing thing. I thought it was just a random. It's actually only, I'm only now realizing it is. You're the omelette guy. I'm the onet boy. I'm the egg slap. Yeah, you are the egg. Okay, so come on.

I am the egg slat. You were in Brighton. In Brighton. Went out for just some pint. Actually, do you know, with who? With. With fellow Brighton. comedians.

Oh, Alex? Alex, wasn't there. Oh, Alex, I love. I play Pokemon Go with him every day. Alex. Alex. Alex, who? Patrick.

Oh, nice. Who I went to school with? We used to sit next to each other in Matt. Yes, of course you did. Okay. Angela Barnes. Oh, gorgeous. Gorgeous.

Rob Dunbrell. Laurie Rowan, who used to do comedy. And then a couple of friends of mine live here. A lovely crew. Yeah, it was a great bunch of people. And then we just said, well, let's keep it going. My wife was there for a bit. We love your wife.

She's a great, eh. Sean's the best. She's like, you know when you meet someone's wife, me like, whoa, she's so cool. Yeah, she is. So cool, but so generous. Like anything I say, I'd be like, oh, my garden sucks. And she's like, I'll do it for you. And she would.

But it is crazy. She's so cool. Yeah, she's really good. She's not, but just don't ask her for an omelette. Yeah. Like, she will deprive you of an obelette. And her depriving of it will turn it into a thing in your head. Yeah, clearly you'll pathologize it and then it'll become a compulsion.

And then you'll be paying $12.99 for you. an omelette in Brighton thinking what happened to my life? I have paid $13.50 in... What the fuck? That's in Ballands and Soho, which, you know, it is a more... You love it, that! It is good. I call it balance, but I do love it. Balance.

What do I call it? Balance. Is that what I said? You're freaking out. I'm fucking up. You're in a bad way. I feel like I'm constantly quantum leaping into this conversation. Every 20 seconds, I'm like, all right, where are we?

Balands. Balance is a queer space. They can overcharge for eggs. Is it a queer space? It's not. It is. everything is a queer space? It's not. I'm sorry. Should be like, oh, the lights are like a certain, like,

Hugh. Oh, it's a queer space. First of all. The waitress had short nails. Like, anything, anything is a queer space. First of all, it stays open to five so the drag queens can come for dinner at 3 a.m. Secondly, all of the arts. Because drag queens can't eat by day.

They can't eat. Petrel Station 4 court is also a queer space. Yeah. The smell of petrol? The bathrooms that are easily accessible? Yes, Sean. Yes, it does. Get me a fudge.

Sure thing, madame. I love fudge bars. Not bad, actually. Not bad. Secondly, they're so good. Always last in a selection box, but I will enjoy it. Secondly, all of the art on the walls, have you not noticed? All the staff they are queer, and then all of the art is just sapphic nudity.

Has no one noticed? I didn't know I was being such a great ally. What the fuck? You're not. You're occupying the space eating. You're fucking cruelly omelet. I want the most madly omelet you can get. But I will.

I will pay 13 pounds for it. I will pay. I think they're in the 13 pound region, but Pink pound, baby. It is pink pound. But also, you... Oh, I know we need to move on from the omelette thing. Oh, no, I've got more questions. No, go, go for it. Okay, ideal number of eggs and an omelet, go. Four. The thing is, the answer is four. People always say three. But the thing is, if you order a three egg omelet, most places, they'll give you a four egg omelet. Because three, I don't think three looks big enough. Agreed. It's four. It's four. Have you ever had a quail egg omelet? No. What do you have to have to have? I have. Very tough. Is it like 12?

Yeah, it was like 10X. I don't think I've ever even been with Quayle-A. It was pure madness. I only had them because Ed Knight came to me in Sunil's. What? And said, I didn't want to arrive empty-handed and brought us 12 quail eggs. That is a back of a bad. This is like months ago.

But like really fancy from like a waitress or something. And we were both like, what's happening? Like, are you, like, did you have like a panic attack in the supermarket? Like, are you okay? What the hell? And then I didn't know what to do with it. And Sneer was. I'm over there, fucking stupid, stupid, fucking little leg.

You want to crack each one? Each one? You were the omelet? Yeah, but it was very tough, very rubbery. Oh, that's no good. Can you even buy a quay leg from a stand? I don't think I've ever seen one in a standard supermarket. Nor are I.

Telling you now, there's a little weight trays around the corner from here. Treat yourself. What do you have? To a very tough, well-made omelet. An awful omelet. A chewiest omelet you ever paid for. Okay, see the omelette guy. What else can we do?

There has to be more to Sean. Omelet is such a classic meal, I think, growing up in the I've been waiting for my thing, you know, in comedy. I think we may have just found it, you know, because I don't get to do like, you know, there's Asian shows, gay shows, you know, there's old shows. You be on the gay shows, not even noticing. I know, beyond the bloody gay show, I'm taking them over.

I mean, getting egged and loving it, actually. I want to do badly. It's the only show I want to do badly at. I can be the omit guy. I can do the omelet circuit. I'm worried that it would just be you on the omelet circuit. It'll be great. I'll clean up.

Surely you need a gang, no. No, no, I'll be fine. At the end, I'll do a clocket speech. It deserved everything it got. It deserved everything it got. And it's clean. Are we all high? I'm just so excited for the idea that you're shown next year

might be called Eggslat, and I would just lose my... He's getting the airwaves out. Oh my God, the thing is, in my eyes, an omelet was all... It's fucking weird. Omlet always meant we hadn't shopped. Like, it was end of the week.

You were dregs in. Yeah, you have like half a pepper with a couple of scallions, maybe some mushrooms. What are you going to do? Omlet time. Omelet time. We had that with potato waffles. Yes, yes, yes. If you had a plate of potato waffles, then it was like, and it's fucked up.

I just fucking love a potato waffle sandwich with ketchup on white bread. And mayonnaise. Oh, yes, please. I've never had that. Well, you're, well, you're not Irish. No, I guess not. Neither am I? Neither am I.

Neither am I. Thank God. Potato waffles. I honestly feel like in my childhood, I ate them every day. That can't be true, but I have potato waffles. I still have a pack at home at all times just in case. Potato waffles and spaghetti hoops feel like surely I had those everything. Yeah, yeah.

I think it was that chicken nuggets. Maybe I don't know. Cocktail sausages? Yeah, it was all of that. Potato smileies. I had all of it. Teddy bear meat. Oh, my God, yeah.

It's disgusting. Yeah, yeah. How are we alive? It is interesting, isn't it? It's like. A potato. Waffles are good. That's just mashed potato in a crispy coating shaped like a waffle. With shitloads of salt and is a potato.

Don't think so. I don't think so. I know someone who... And oil. I know someone who lost a lot of weight and got jacked as shit. Who? I can't name them. It's a meal. It's a nail. First rule of Oblick Club is you do not. But they swore by potato waffles as like a way to fill the hunger.

But because it's got holes. Now look, I am not a sign. So if people say things to me, I don't follow on. But that's what he swore by. Whoa. That feels like a bad, protein low, poor system for losing weight. I think it's if you're like hangary or whatever. That sounds thick.

That sounds like a real thick thing to do. But hang on, just to circle back. So you went to a club. Okay. You realized that people were putting drinks in your drink. And you were like, what the hell? I mean, you're to dance. Not to have a good time.

Exactly. What the hell? I went, we were in the pub to 1am and then there was a place we used to go to in Brighton that was always the late night place. Yeah. And it's changed names and we're like, let's just go there. It was the only place that there was no queue. Where'd you go?

It was called deadwack social. It used to be called Ricky Ticks. And it was notable for being the only place in Brighton that was A, open till 3am every night. And B, had a swing set. Okay. Like an actual, like, in like a park. Yeah, they had like swings there. Sean, were you in another queer space?

I mean, look, I'm looking at it over my... I'm pretty sure my marriage may be an inadvertent queer space. I'm also worried not that he just went to a park. Yeah, me too. And Sean's like, Sean is called Mickey Dick, and he's just in a play park. And Sean's like, it's mad, isn't it? He's a swing set in a club.

Okay, so you went out. Went there, but now it's like, but we went in there. And I thought it would just be like, we'll have one, we'll sort of endure one pint in there. It'll be too loud. You order? I ordered a Diet Coke.

Clever. Mm-hmm. Very, thank you. Because the bubble moves the alcohol around your system faster, so it leaves it quicker. Yeah, I'm the thick one. That's the key thing, isn't it? Facts. Facts.

Is that a fact? It sounds like information from the same guy who said, Waffles are the key to weight loss because of the holes, but sure, go on. Got holes in them. Can't point out. Can't prove that wrong. And it turns out, deadwax social. What a thriving.

It's a hopping. It was thriving. Like punk music. like really cool people. Lively dead wax social. It was lively and we actually went dancing and it was great. And they were playing loads of songs

from like our teenage years and all the youngsters around. I mean we weren't the oldest people there but we were definitely on the older age. Well, you're old enough to say youngsters so we assume really old. Yeah, all the tall. Was it groovy?

It was hot. It was hip and hop in. I tell you the tops were loving it. Those sprogs were really, you know, they were high on their pop and pop and Chris. But it was great. And I said to, I said so, One of my mates.

You know what this place could do with an omelette bar? He'd have fucking loved it. If that place had an omelabar, honestly, I'd be in hotbed or now. You'd live in Brighton. Nosebleed to death. No excitement. You would live in Brighton. I'd go back.

I'd live there. I know. I know. And so it was really fun. And it was the first time I'd been out and I recognised all the songs and all the young people were singing the songs. I was like, isn't it weird that like they were in, I thought that sort of whole, it was like LCD sound system. nice cool shit like that nice but I went to see LCD sounds like this year and that audience is not getting any younger okay it's the same with Abba we believe everyone

knows Abba everyone knows that maybe they are like Abba now yeah I don't think they are lads well clearly they are I think people who went to that club knew what kind of music maybe it was cool people they probably heard I was there I don't know that I said cool people I said people who knew the LCD um back or catalog me one fucking okay The minute I've walked in here, you've been, you're rent-free, well done. You've paid off your mortgage up there, well done. Do you want to look at my fridge magnet again?

You liked that, didn't you? Yeah, I did like it. Were we recording when I sat down? Yeah. This is the most fucking insane, pogg. We're running late today because of the deaf news. I've taken it very badly. I'm really sorry to hear that.

So, you're on tour. What's your show called? It's called Sobe It's. Great. Why is it call that? I don't know. You got to call them something, haven't you? Do indeed. But it's good. It's good stuff.

It's stand-up. I'm really enjoying it. You're an incredible stand-up. What's the show about? It's just, it's literally just stand-up. There's a bit of a theme. There's a bit of a thing. It's got my favourite joke in it. Which is? Well, I've actually seen the final show.

Last time I saw it was a preview in May. And it's one about, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. racist but like it is Rosie Jones does a really good one of it Behave What are you doing for Are you doing London Day?

I'm doing Lessor Square Theatre Yeah you are when Next week When does this go out Thursday? Does it? Yeah

I'm doing it on the 21st of October Oh easy Johnny's so good At stand-up comedy And as always Sean will be tagged in everything On this episode Or all of our things

So like go follow him genuinely The best stand-up in the country Yeah and I think You're one of those stand-ups who I think It must be incredibly annoying for because every stand-up comedian

names you as their favourite stand-up and it's like he's so underrated and it's like he's not underrated people just need to go see Sean more you're so freaking good. Thank you very good. Do you not feel there's like so many of us in your shows I went to see you at Mac Fest and I was in a row of like eight of the comedians. Whenever I go to see you in Edinburgh

it's just a gang of comedians like a bunch of newbies trying not to take notes but you can tell they're like why is it so good I want to work out how it's so good that's very nice to hear but the thing is we're all very very, everyone sees everyone. I don't, I think everyone's no, I won't watch women on stage.

No, no, no, no, I'm absolutely not that decibel, ugh. Whoa. What are women's opinions for an hour being, I don't think so. We can go to our own chance, thanks. I love this podcast. Do you all this studio

needs, a bloody mirror? That's what it needs. I don't get it. I know you, that. Why does it need a mirror? It's hard. To look at yourself in the mirror. To look, why?

Because you said you hate women's opinions. for an hour. Oh, right. Ah, yeah, because I'm a woman. Does she just show? I don't know if their opinions. Because you've never seen it because people don't go see Helen. Now, I go see you. Oh, why?

I went to see Helen do comedy and she did my accent for 15 minutes. So I don't think she should. On stage? Yeah, I panicked. Second day of Edinburgh. Absolutely freaked out. That's like me once. I was panicking on a reviewer in.

Ended up just doing Al Murray's full act for an hour. No. We had a reviewer in that day as well. We did. Five stars. So can't complain. with that. That guy likes me.

I saw Catherine and I think it's because like, oh yeah, I referenced my hometown. I went, does anyone know? I'm from Fleet in Northampton, which usually makes someone goes like, oh, this is a station. And then I can be like, you go, fuck yourself, actually. I have some respect. But Catherine was like, woo, I know Fleet trying to be a supportive friend. And I was like, oh, Catherine.

And then I was like, she's from all. And then she did genuinely stuff on the potato famine. Oh, really? For longer than it needed to be said. But like Alan Partridge's stuff on the potato famine. Like the classic, like, if they're going to afford to emigrate, they could afford to eat in a moderately priced restaurant. Like, all they can afford an omelet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was not, it was not my best moment. No. Sitting next to my now agent who I just signed with like two days before. And I was like, that's my new agent. She's Irish too. Like it went on for some time. That's a bit of, well, that's a bit of fun.

It's a bit of fun. For who? Well, it's a bit of crack. Do you understand that? Oh my God, make an end. A bit of crack. Okay. You should have seen me in Manchester last night.

On fucking board on. guys and they were like I know I'm gonna tell her I fucking love Manchester Manchester oh my God is that what you're doing

going around the like around the country just impersonating people but people are like and then like I finished the show in Manchester last night and the woman who was like

running the venue came around the back and went there's someone that has a sausage roll for you and I went what

and she went I don't that was a stuff they have a sausage roll for you and I was like okay well I'm hungry

obviously It was a woman with a sausage roll. Do you think that people are going to start bringing Sean omelets now at his show? Oh my God. If anyone is going to see Sean's court and is listening to this, 100% take him an omelet. Bring him homemade omelets. Okay.

I think we might have to... Right, Sean's omelets. All he wants. Let's set some boundaries at some point. He wants you to stick in his show with your smelly little legs, keeping him warm in your clammy hands, and then he wants you to bring him to him at the end. Or would you like the mustard roll.

At the interval, I'll leave. And sometimes people live. You know, people leave gifts and stuff. Yeah. Oh, what's this? It's going to be omel. It's going to be, oh, it's 40 omelets. Some people go like, or quail eggs, or eggs.

Or quail eggs. Easy to get home. That'll be great. Yeah, yeah. That'd be, that'd be perfect. Or even just a local guide to omelets in the area. If I'm traveling, I've got Liverpool, Tunbridge Wells this week. I don't know anything about omelets around there.

I actually think do send Sean omelet recommendations. Yeah. If you look at your tour dates, they're on social media and stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're in one of those towns, obviously you go see Sean. but also sitting in the recommendation of the best omelette in town. I'd rather you only did the second one.

Really? You don't want them to come. You want the omelette recommendation. I'm no interesting doing the show. I'm on tour for the omelets. Final egg question. Yeah, always. Worst omelette you've ever had.

Ooh. I felt it was a bit too personal. I actually did. Here's what you have to... Overstepping the market. Yeah, I know. Here's what you have to know is I'm only getting back into the omelette game

in the last sort of five months. Okay. I had a lot of years out. Bless you. What happened? Thank you. Tommy thing or? No, not Tommy thing.

I was sort of off there. I was trying to be a good husband. Trying to be a good husband. And I remain a good husband. A great husband wouldn't secretly go out for omelets. This morning I left my laptop in the cafe as well. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

That would have been double trouble. My wife had come home. I've lost my laptop. Where was it? I was eating an omelet. What? Did she not know about the omelet? I don't tell her about.

She's going to listen to this probably. Will she? Yeah. Hi, babe. Love you. Hey. I'm sorry, I've been secretly eating omelets for lunch every day for the entire marriage. Did your ring just fall out?

Your ring fell off your wedding, wings. I'm eating omelets tonight. But most people sat there. I'm going to shag a sex world. Crack up the griddle, baby. What's amazing is how much you're avoiding the question as well. What's the worst oven? No, what's amazing is that Sean, the other podcast you're on makes it you think it's normal to say,

Most people are like, I'm going to shag a sex. Most people aren't doing that or saying that or taking their wedding ring off as they declare it to their, like, lads on a pod. I don't know. Most people are like, nope. You don't know what the lads are rickety ticks were like. Rickety tics. What was it called?

Ricky Ticks. It's that I called Deadwack Social. Yeah, I'm going to call it Ricky Ticks. I'm calling it Ricky Ticks. What podcasts have you been doing where you're like, I know what you're expecting you to say? No, I meant more like, you know when you see lads take their wedding ring off and they were like, go on lads, I'm away from the wife. and they do no business no we don't they don't do that do they yeah some boys do that's horrible

well it's like a it's a stereo i know that's a really sad indictment of men and monogamy it is and that's why i was trying to subvert that by saying my idea of that is eating an omelette they're just having banter babe okay it's just ban if you can't handle the banter stop drinking the fanta i don't drink the fucking loser worse omelette take a minute speak your truth um um i just really feel like we should say sorry to your wife oh no i love i love you babe i just occasionally eat an omelet i mean that's it's a free country i don't eat at home the end of the day it's his body it's his choice i don't eat him i don't eat him that often you've had three this week okay worst one worst one um you know i actually know where it is go on it's in a hotel in rottadam and it broke my i this one

broke my fucking heart because i'd stay at this hotel before and it was the first time i'd ever stayed in a hotel with an omelette station oh wow wow wow oh how incredible yeah i mean she was a whiz on that thing oh yeah then i stayed in the same hotel again two years later oh god different person it was not a good omelet what it was not good they didn't it was just a mess it was a mess i think they talk us through it what was wrong it was a cramble well look it was the 15th anniversary of 9-11 so i was in a weird place anyway. Don't give me start on the 15th. The 16th, fine, 14th, great, if anything.

15th. What a fucking day. So I turned up. Oh, my God. Am I allowed to, I didn't know what to say? Do you think Helen hasn't mentioned the anniversary of September 11th on this podcast Multitudinous Times? You're good, go on. Oh, good. We started the episode that came out on September 11th with...

Listen, we don't... Get back to the omelets, please. It was just a shit omelet. It wasn't even omelet. It was like scrambled eggs with a bunch of, like, a couple olives and a pepper and an onion and none of it was cooked. What? And then I had a blueberry muffin and a cry. And I tanked the gig on purpose.

Took it out on the people of Rotterdam. Wow. Good for you, man. Thank you. You also eat a spiteful omelet, it seems. I eat spitefully. Thank you. Thank you. Okay.

Sorry that happened to you. Thank you. Am I being a good guest? You seem like you're having a break here? I honestly don't think. I don't know. I want to tell you, but I don't know. That's not a thing that podcast hosts tend to say, by the way.

I don't know if you're doing well here. Here's what I'd say is I'd say you're being a good guest on the podcast you're on. Have we facilitated a good environment for you to be a good podcast guest? I'd say probably no. Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. It's been pretty egg focused and that's on us as much as it as you. I feel like it's your, you sort of came on off menu and we've just been like, it's been a bit confused.

It's almost like you could say you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. We'll do a list of problem, please, M. Thank you very much. Let's get this guy out of here. Fuck. I don't know. I'm in one of those days where I feel like, well, I must still be on like a plane and asleep or something. It can't really be happening.

Do you want the candle? You're flying home from Rotterdam right now. Help holding a candle? Yeah, what is it? To ground you. It's Dolly Parton. If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain. I'm okay.

Okay. All right. Okay. Ready? Yes. Yes. This one's from Kay. Hi, Kay.

Hi, Kay. Dear Hogs. I hope you're all. Hi, I'm sorry. Hi, Kay. Thank you. Okay, great. I hope you're all well. I'm in the market for some advice,

and I'm hoping my favourite comedians can help. I want to start writing comedy and doing some stand-up. I have notes on my phone, full of content ideas, and I've been adding to it for months. I also have some experience with performing. What I struggle with is actually writing the set. Do you have any advice on how to get started with writing comedy? I've looked at some comedy writing courses,

but my funds are incredibly limited, and I'm currently working as a nanny after graduating from Central School. go to speech and drama. I went there. I went there. Hey. Hey, Kay. Here's what I'd say is I did a stand-up writing course and I think it actually only helped

with like giving me the confidence to perform, which it sounds like you already have. So I don't think that you need to be spending your very low funds on that. I think if you are, if the issue is you're trying to figure out like it sounds like you have too much stuff and you don't know where to start for a set. Yeah. I think just book yourself shitloads of five minutes at open mics where you can and then just try different ones like try as many different ones as you can

as early as you can and also I don't know that I ever wrote a set when I started I sort of just talked and let the audience decide what was good I did the opposite I just talk now and only have bullet points and like never write it out but when I started I wrote it out over prescribed

I was so nervous and I wrote out like full sets but like would sort of like pick something to talk about I say that my first gig I played share believe you've done the microphone from my phone because I ran out of things to say. Didn't we all. Did we all.

But like, I mean, Catherine's right. The really annoying thing about stand-up is you kind of just have to go to the open mic. Like there's no... Don't you think? Yeah, you just have to do it. I mean, it's really hard and it's awkward. But you just have to do it.

And it's great. And if you've already got like a, if you've graduated from... Central. Central, place like that. That's where Judy Dench went and Catherine Bowhart. Yeah, and they're hilarious.

Yes. Judy's lol. She's lull. She's lulled. That guy. Yeah, just do it. Just write loads. Write loads of stuff.

Go and do it. You just keep doing it. I know it sounds obvious. I'm rereading that book by Stephen King called On Writing. I've never read any of Stephen King's books apart from this. It's so good. It's about how important it is to just why people write, how you write. And all he does is just does it.

He just does it. He just does it. It is a craft. I hate saying that. It is a craft. of craft. I also got told something quite early on.

I don't know if this is useful because it sounds like you've got lots of things you want to talk about but if you're struggling to write like your first set I didn't do this but I wish I had

which is like one of the comics in Berlin told me quite early on it's like well it's your first set so you just need to introduce yourself like if you can't introduce yourself then it's like it's going to be hard to do like material because you kind of need to know your voice so just sort of like

introduce yourself in the funniest way you can I think that's fair I think like the privilege of the first few sets you do is like no one knows you so you get to tell them information like that's obvious about yourself as if it's new and it's exciting and also I just think the best and most relieving thing I realized about my first few sets was that they were always going to be the worst ones I wrote I'm now trying to think about your first sets and I remember one of your first opener and you'd go on stage

and you had like a little dress on yeah and you'd be like can you see can you see my can you see mine I was like this is great I genuinely genuinely like my set was like predominantly based of Can You See My Cunt? It was charming. But also, genuinely, my Cooch, I think was the word I used. You did you use Cooch because it was for a radio thing. Yeah, and my, my... So they couldn't even see us.

No, they couldn't. And also my first set, when I first started standing up, was like two minutes I was working in an office on the nature of like biscuit placement on large... Large boardroom tables and how they, like, created a Hunger Games vibe of us to who would go first. truly it was dog shit but that's the

no that feels like a really signature bohar bear like biscuit placement my point is like it's going to be your worst set so just get out there and say it and then make it the next one will be a little marginally better and then marginally better and it's so annoying because it does take ages but I just think do it

I hope that helps does that help one thing I would definitely say because it may not always seem like it most comedians are really nice most comedy audiences are pretty nice so don't ever everyone, everyone feels that. Yeah.

What you're feeling is so, there is literally no comedian that has not felt like that. Every comedian's done this as well. And they've all done it. Start, but how do I start? And like every comedian you meet,

even if you do have like one of those nights where it doesn't go well, we've all done it multiple times. Oh, and if anyone's a dick about that, that just means they haven't died yet. Oh boy, they're going to learn real fast. Or they have and they don't feel it. We've all seen those ones when they walk off

and they go smashed it. And it's like, you need to go kill yourself right, right now, right now. I would also say try every joke three times and then if it doesn't work throw it away but if it like but I do think give it three times

because sometimes it's in delivery sometimes it's in wording sometimes it's in I did the Irish accent for three days after Catherine was at that show because you just you never know but it just worked less and less

each day yeah and then you hired a lookalike is that right but I do think is there anything more to say on that I think that's really it doesn't it just do

just have to do unfortunately you just kind of have to do it and do it. Oh and you have to win so you think you're funny or you'll be nothing. No, no. Very neat little thing but I think it's very important. No, neither of us did behave. Neither of us did well. No. that I best and we respect you also you are online I've not what a competition to be

like I was invited if you went to a really large omelet here's my question where do people follow you online at Sean McLaughlin on Twitter I can't even remember my Instagram I think is that Sean McLaughlin comedy I'll look it up I mean he's tagged in our stuff

so like great what's your website Sean McLaughlin Comedy.combe fabulous Sean I did have a question I knew I had a question but I was interrupted so long ago you just did live of the Apollo I did that's coming out soon people can check you out on that as well

yeah come watch me on that did you have a great time I did actually it was very nice what you wear I wore who are you wearing I wore a suit

I wore the same suit I always wear which is just a slightly bland dark grey suit lovely and it was very nice pre-show meal pre-show meal

yeah what you get what you get oh because you get to order what you want don't you yeah it's like you laugh me Yeah, it's like the last meal. What did I have?

Because they give you all the... I had all the takeaway menus. I think I just had a Nando's. Did you? Didn't go Leon? Well, the thing is Nanda. I wasn't given that. Oh, I'd have gone that.

Oh, he's angry. What? Was that on the cards? Yeah, I had a Wagamamas. They didn't even give that, but I said, I'm gluten-free and they were like, what do you want? Are you serious?

Yeah. I'd have gone for like a local Mesee platter or something. I was too nervous. I couldn't eat it, so it didn't really matter. I fucking wolfed my... I ate so much, yeah, yeah. I couldn't need you for. I just went Nando

because I never get Nando's apart from in situations like that. I just remembered when I came back from Apollo because I was so hungry because I hadn't eaten because I was so nervous I warmed up myself

and Marks and Spencers pre-made Spanish omelet. Whoa! You could say they were Juvos Rancheras. What? I don't know. I looked at you

and I thought you were going to do a tortilla thing because we were saying Spanish omelet and then she was saying tortilla really, but I was saying Spanish omelette. I don't know what I was going to Okay.

That shouldn't say it. That's some bad stuff. Don't ever make it. So the first conversation you have all day is filmed and recorded. You'll leave an egg on your face and it won't be good. You'll live with three eggs on your face. And you're going to wish they were in a bloody pan. It makes no sense.

Bye me. Hey, Sean McLaughlin, everybody. Thank you to our executive producers, Guy Goodman, Simon Moores, Janina Bautista, Mary Fox, Annie Taunner, Sarah Harke-Degan and Oliver Jago, to absolute legends. A huge thank you to our producers Richard Bicknell L. Richard Bold Neil Redmond Victoria Hutchison

Emma Walton Karen and David Bull Harold Van Dyke Eddie Doyle Tim and Dom David Walker Rachel R Anthony Conway

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Cordelia Rachel Page Helen A Tina Lindsay Sophie Chivers Graham Martin Emily Gee Oh my God about a long list.

You have the heroes. Thank you so much.