Trusty Hogs - Ep55. JAMIE D'SOUZA / Siblings, Squirrels & SAD Lamps

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

Jamie D’Souza joins the Hogs this week for super fun chat and expert problem solving as always. Jamie is a brilliant comedian who’s star is quickly ascending, so we’re very glad to have him along to the pig sty after his fabulous Edinburgh Fringe debut!FOLLOW JAMIE: @JamieIsAJokeThank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Janinna Bautista / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Eddie Doyle / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes  / Sarah & Molly  / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie Chivers / Graham Marsh / Emily Gee / Amy O'RiordanWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello. Hello, welcome to episode 55. Fumfimpsage of Trusty Hogg. The podcast will we tell you about our lives. I'm Katyn. She's Helen and we're going to do just that. And then we are going to answer your listener problem. Did you breathe during that sentence? No, it was hard.

That was incredible. Thank you. No breath was taken. Everyone goes like, is your podcast on double speed? And I'm like, no, we are. We're just, it's hard to speak slowly. We like caffeine. Welcome to episode 504.

We love caffeine. And if you're still here, thanks for joining us. Through the fog, step for the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give me your promise. Problems and they will solve them Or maybe they won't And that's your problem They'll have guests

And Andrew White On the tech Oh It's Helen and Catherine As the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not Right, do you want to get straight into it?

Look, it's not Halloween yet It's not Halloween yet I'm happy to talk about the season I'm happy to talk about October. I'm happy to talk about how dark it's getting. I'm not happy to hear spooky stories, Halloween fucking ghost stories. I'll do it with you next week.

I'm happy to engage next week. But that's not what people are here for. It's spooky season. It's spooky season. We're not American. Pocus Pocus 2 is on Disney Plus. It's spooky season. It's been out for ages.

I don't know why all of a sudden you're being the woman who's like, oh God forbid we do something not exactly on the day, despite the fact an hour ago we were walking around together and you went, oh, I'm just doing some spring cleaning this week. I was saying to you that I was doing an autumnal spring clean, which I know is out of season, I know that,

but ultimately it's been a long year, Helen. Okay, okay. Should we do like a little compliment circle because I feel like this has got nasty? Yeah, well, two seconds ago you said that I had to do Halloween whenever you said I did because my hair is red, as if that made any sense to... You're in costume all time.

Excuse me? You're in the costume of like a, what they called, the dance with the river dance you're in river dance costume are you in a column like a go on go on

are you dressed up as L from legally blonde yeah probably I was gonna say how he dressed up as a colonialist but I said columnist instead and it really got lost

oh my god I'd be such a good columnist wouldn't you be so good I do like a Marley in me style one but instead of having a dog I'll have Saneal and I'll be like

this week with Soneil and also chicken dyed bouncing isn't quite the story that Marley was Why would you bring that up? I'm sorry Okay, okay. Complement. No, stop. No, no crying this week. I swear to God. Not again. Last week was too much. Behave yourself. Your eyes are fucking dry. I can see there's no tears. August 13. 20, 20,000. I can't? Chicken died bouncing. Was it August 13th? Yeah, it was my birthday because you ruined. Was it 2021? Yes, he made it all about it. It was no way that wasn't linked. This is your first episode. Go back. We are diving straight in, by the way.

Yeah. Can we do a compliment circle because I do actually have a lot of hatred towards you right now. Right, hold hands, hold hands. Your nails look amazing. Thank you. It was a manicure, but I had to trim it because gay, but thank you. It held up. Your nails are incredible. Your spirit is strong.

Spirit. Ooh. No, no. No. Helen. And your temperament, be it untamed, tis a joy to be around. being proposed to you the first time by Mr. Darcy. It's like, despite your personality,

I can bury you, shall we bear each other? I would fucking love to have my nipples hanging out like that, getting out of the water. Oh my God, that would be so exciting. The original male privilege. Okay, here's... Say thank you for my compliment. Thank you for my compliment.

I will take one now. Don't look like it's hard to think of one. Despite... Despite... Despite. Despite... That's not a compliment. Despite, in spite.

of no no you start with you're actually very charming no not actually you're very charming I'm charming and I find it hard not to laugh around you and your eyes are lovely today and honestly you and black it's a great look and that tight t-shirt makes your tits really focused and um with a focus and as you know I love your tits so does that all that do thank you so thank you so much I feel seen. I love you. And M, you're really cool. Yeah, Em, you're real cool.

Is that cool enough for you? You cool? Yeah, that's fine, thanks. Okay. Don't fucking talk to me, don't say anything nice. One ghost story then. No, no, no, no, that's the opposite of what we agreed. Can I just be one?

No, no, it's not time. Next week, you'll have your time to shine. But this is my first time in life I feel confident with ghost stories. Helen, next week. Next week. I'll do three. I'll bring your freaking torch. You can put it under your chin.

We'll turn the lights off. You can go to. town. Are you fucking kidding? No, by all means, when it's seasonally appropriate, I will get into it. Can you bring, um, like an Irish ghost story with you? Like a, like a fable from De Moors. Not Moore, what do you have? Wicklow, Wicklow, Wicklow.

Wicklow mountains? Where they, where, where does, um, Hilary's fan go in Piers, I love you? Sweet Jesus. Um, I'm going to bring you an Irish folklore story next week. Maybe an Irish scary story ghost story, but we're not going to do the accent. And, uh, oh, I'll tell you about banshees maybe. All right, that's next week. to Bansche Labyrinth, the venue.

No, about actual banshees, maybe next week. What are banshees? We'll talk about it next. The way you get-less, you cannot entrap me in Halloween. Now, focus. Here's what's happening. It's the, like, it's honestly the third week of October, so I think about what we really need to talk about is Halloween is.

No, it's not. Look at me. That's the fourth week. Here's the thing, though. Here's the thing is, I feel like, I don't know about you, but I have been, because obviously it's gotten darker, the days I've gotten shorter. there's a cost of living crisis

the beautiful leafy leaves have turned to sludge I find this part of the year quite hard to like it's quite sad I get real sad Do you get sad? I do but I've

Have you got a sad lamp? Yeah of course I've got a sad lamp I should maybe get I don't have a sad lamp No I was just asking people on Twitter but I think I should get one How did I miss this? Yeah 100% get a saddab

I've got one Which I would recommend If you're feeling anxious as well So it's brightness light So you get that sort of like hit at the serotonin blah blah but it's also got an infrared setting which is really good for like the wind

down at the end of the day it's sort of like it feels weird because your room is like bathed in this like cave of wonders red but like I mean it was placebo I don't give a shit is that loamy it's no I can't remember the name of it I'll look at it when I get home it's really good but I'm actually

thriving with the leafy sludge because I've got new friends in my garden who I've got a slug collection now Oh, that's disgusting. And so I was struggling with the spiders. Yeah, but they're leopard slugs. I had to Google them because they were poisonous. Why are you saying it like it's a good thing?

But they're not. And they're... I wish you weren't scratching yourself while you said they're not poisonous. They got a bit of extra. But they're not from putting a slug on me. I don't touch them. But I feel like, you know when you step on a snail or a slug and you feel it and you're like, oh God.

And then your brain goes, oh God, you're probably a mummy or daddy. Or you've got kids who've got mouths to feed. and then I've seen loads of baby slugs recently. So like, yes, we have different brains. Mine goes, ow, my shoes. I know, but since having snails as part of my family through my sister, through the connection of the snails that like I, nieces and nephews, I'd assume at this point.

Curry, donkey, Helen and... You're calling those your nieces and nephews. I don't know what my connection is exactly. Nises, probably. Neasas, yeah, my nieces. Yeah. So because they're in the family now, I see these slugs and I'm like, oh, God, I owe you so much.

Wow. So I am actually having a nice time because I've got new friends. Oh my God, I just heard that out loud. Yeah, that was really depressed. You were like, I'm not sad because I have no slug friends. I'm actually, I think I'm in a depression. I think you might be in a depression. I was crying last week, this week.

Oh my God, I'm in a depression. You said it's fine because you have the slug collection in your garden. Oh my God. Antonil was like, you're taking your vitamin D supplements? And I was like, no. Oh my God. You okay? I mean, clearly it is working because I don't even realize I'm depressed.

I guess it's only that. Am I crying now? Yes, you're weeping. Wait, do you think, do you have this every single time at this time of year? Oh yeah, it's so predictable. It's not like, I don't think I had clocked it

and I don't know that I'm like, I have like sads or whatever, but it definitely is like a, oh God, it's hard to get up in the morning. It's hard to not want to just stay in the evening, especially because we work in the evening and it's that thing of like it gets dark and then you have to get yourself out

and look, we do it and it's fine. And I do get, but what my point actually was going to be before you got into that really depressing story about slugs I didn't realize it was sad. I wanted to talk about things that are nice to do this time of you that you can't really do other times of the year

and usually when I say this people are like they get to curl up in the evening in front of the TV and it's like no we can't do that we can't do that that's not part of our lives because of our jobs. Blankets. But like I want to like try to revel in the things so I have a pumpkin-scented candle. Delicious.

How is that not Halloween chat? Delicious. Can you police this at this point? Hey look at me. Pumpkins are a food that it's are seasonal. Halloween is a thing that is seasonal. Pumpkin risotto?

Mm-mm-mm. Yummy. Anyway, pumpkin pie? I don't mind if I do. Yeah, yeah. That's a really good thing to discuss. If you've got mental health problems, no stress.

Buy a pumpkin candle. No, I'm not saying that I'm saying I'm trying to look at the positives. We are not getting on today, my love. We are, you know what? Anyone who's writing a doctor or anything on toxic female friendships, this should be your fucking thesis study.

No, I'm going to start. writing a doctorate and toxic female friendships. Don't you have to do your undergrad first? Why are you like this today? Right, M, I'm sorry, but we're going back into the compliment circle. Hands out. Hands out. Hands out.

Right. It can't be physical this time. It's got to be emotional and mental. Catherine. Helen. I love how much you put everyone in your life and they're happy. before anything else in the world. I think it's so generous and so kind and so loving and sweet.

And I hate that when someone does something lovely for you, you're like, why? Like when I just gave you that gin and you freaked out. But that is because I think that you are a giver. And not a receiver. But I hope you receive that compliment and tuck it away in your heart. Go.

thank you for my compliment you're welcome look at me you're doing your bits on me now literally said it and I was like why am I doing my bet um Helen yes I think you're infinitely smarter than you think you are and I think your capacity to retain every piece of information you've ever learned is profoundly impressive and I learn from you all the time

I can't imagine this is good podcast listening What have you learned from me So many things. Stonewall. Well, that's not how that conversation went. What a banshee is. What a banshee is. And I think that you light up every room you walk into.

Thank you so much. You know how I could light on this podcast? Halloween chat. No, I'm joking. Pumpkin candle, 100% a great thing. Blankets, you can sit under blankets. Blankies are very important. I do think it's hot water bottle time, baby.

Oh, my God, yes, is. Are you doing the thing yet where you, like, put it in your bed and then go to bed, two hours later, into a hot beddy. No, but I want to do that now. Me and Emma Black used to do it for each other. All the time, I'm sure I spoke about it, but when Sunil moved in, he went,

oh, I don't fucking do that, you fucking loser. And it's like, I am so used to living with a female friend who's like, well, if you're in first, then we do hot water bottle in your bed, and then vice versa, and Emma's hot water bottle was called Rupert, and it was a bunny. That's so cute. No, I haven't done that yet, but I have,

I did, the other day I had a really bad period, So I did just walk around with one tucked into my pajama bottoms. You know, just like full pregnancy mode. It was gorgeous. No, you're right. It's fully that season. It's also hot chocolate season. Like, I'm in.

I am like. I have multiple flavors in. Losing my mind. Yeah. I'm really having a good time. The old velvitizer is living in its best life. Working it's, yeah, working overtime. It really is.

It's having a great one. What a season. What's your best combie so far? Because I've bought some oat milk and almond milk and I'm sort of playing around trying to figure it out. I only do it with oat milk. Maybe I should. should be, I think, you know what I wish I bought, actually?

You haven't done the coconut milk chocolate yet and having a bounty? No, but you don't know, oh, that sounds amazing. Highly recommend. Oh, that sounds amazing. That sounds so good. Wait, but you're just doing regular, you just oat milk with the sashes. Well, she said, as we sat here, I thought, God, last year I did do it with hazelnut. Oh, fuck me.

Hazelnut milk, chucky porridge with a Ferrero Roche crushed on top. Now, that is a 6 a.m. start to the day. That is the start to your day. Good morning. Your bowels are fucking awake. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Why do your breakfast always involve

Like an actual Like proper chocolate You like put like chocolate from chocolate boxes in Like not just like some dark chocolate from the Like you're like or chocolate drops You're like no full like actual chocolate Like that's mad And every time we mention chucky porridge on this podcast

I get a message from someone on Instagram being like Can we have the recipe for chucky porridge So we'll do it again Recipe for chucky porridge Porridge For Chucky porridge Porridge Make Porridge! Make Porridge!

Put chocky in it and stir. Chucky porridge. It is insane to me the amount of times I had to type that out for one of you. You're smart than that. And if you're not smart enough to follow that, stop listening. You're not welcome. I will say this. It's fucking great that it's porridge season.

I love porridge. You are such a porridge. I actually love porridge so much. I have it in summer anyway, but it's so nice to do like cinnamon in apple, cinnamon and pear. I've been doing banana and hazelnut and a little bit of Nutella sometimes. That's a chucky porridge.

That qualifies as a chocky porridge. I did PBJ the other morning. Wait, peanut butter and jelly? That's interesting. And really? Great, it's great. Well, sort of peanut butter. You can't go crunchy.

Oh, I go crunchy. I like the texture. I like the texture, but you can do smooth. You can do smooth and then I did raspberry jam with some fresh raspberries. Oh, fuck me up. This thing, your porridge. I think mine is more fun,

but yours is leveled up. Yeah, I do do fruit. I'll be honest with you. I don't know why. Even being your friend and knowing you for so many years, when you talk about food, I still picture you at home eating

and cooking like Nigella Lawson. Like, Catherine takes her bite of her breakfast, but she's all made her push-up bra and she's like, hmm. And it's like, no, she's just wandering around from like in between one of her two baths of a morning. I do tend to,

I tend to cook in very few clothes with my apron on because I don't like to get my clothes dirty No, yeah So it's fun to be a little bit Oh, it's fun

Why you have aprons If you gotta wear clothes I know, right? That's what the pubs are for To protect your genitals Pubes are there for splash You think I have pubs? No, no, I mean either

I mean either Wait, you've none No, we'll do the extras We'll do it the extras You have to pay for that info Remind us in the extras Please, M, that the question was, do we or do we not have pubes?

Yes, we'll be discussing in the extras. What are we doing with our pubes this season, ladies? Yes, it is. The winter cometh. What else is going? Jeans, I'm wearing jeans again. I haven't worn them in age. Oh, can you also remind me I've got a very upsetting picture

to show Catherine of the hairs on the back of my thigh? What? I don't want to see that. No, no, you do. I don't. I don't. I didn't. And even, even they were like,

Whoa. I'm not sure, baby. Not a bit much. That's a bit much. It was a bit much. Okay, so hot chucky, porridge, blankets, hot water bottles. Yes. Always the favourite one.

Pushing people into piles of leaves, ideally that you know. I think that's a good one. I'm really enjoying taking the dog on walks because she loves the leaves. Doggy and leaving. She loves the leaves. And also I really enjoying bringing nuts to the park, which I feed the squirrels. Wait, you are. I got my coats out.

What London are you living in? where you're going for a walk with a borrow my doggie dokey playing in the leaves and then handing a woolnought to a squirrel. Not on the same walk because the dog chases the squirrels, no. I either take the dog on a leafy walk

or when I'm going to the park by myself because I got my winter coats out and I found a pack that I had of fruit and nuts in there that I used to bring to the park and I reminded me. No, no, no, just like actual just fruit and nut.

It doesn't always have to have chocolate involved and I take it to the park and I feed the squirrels and they love it. I just don't think. No, I just, I've never, like. On your morning walk? I mean, I like feeding the parakeets in St. James's Park.

Yeah, gorge. Like, are you breaking an apple and holding up and hanging out with the green birds? Like, everyone I tell this to, acts like I'm joking. But yeah, I take nuts to the park. Because you're not a Disney princess. Well, that's the day. Also, Catherine, me and Chloe Pets once were in Crystal Palace Park, and we saw a man trying to feed a squirrel, it latched onto his finger.

And he, like, swung it around. Like, it was biting his. finger. What? Squirrels aren't like they're rodents. You had to go to the hospital, I'm sure. It's a rat.

It's a rat. You shouldn't do that. No, I, no, I feed them so that there's not as far away from me and they just take it and then run away. And then she goes, ah, ah. And then it runs up and there's a plat in her hair. And she's like, stop touching me. Does nobody feed the...

No one, no one does, apart from like absolute freaks. I know, I'm not feeding the birds. I'm not feeding the birds, I'm not crazy. Why is feeding the birds freaky? It's feeding the birds more normal. Feeding the birds more. Eating the mark is so normal. It's a song.

But have you ever seen squirrels get like an almond or a cashew something they haven't had before? They freak out. They're like, this is a nut. This is delicious. No, no. You're wrong. You're wrong.

I think this is genuinely odd and I'm genuinely weird that I'm on the side of this. I will then put the nuts down for them because I don't want the rabies clutching. But relax. Come feed me nuts if you want to feed something nuts. I think you're good. Okay, I think other autumn things you can do

Okay. Go on. Ice skating. Ice skating is not for me. I'm very risk-averse. What I am loving, back into the season of, don't we ever go in the summer, but I'm loving being back at the cinema.

Oh, it's a nice time of year to go to the cinema, isn't it? Have you aged? It's cold out. 20 years. To be honest with you, from an hour ago. No, I'm just saying it's a fun time to go to the cinema because it's all, like, it's all cozy and nice. No?

Okay. What the fuck is happening? Cheeseboards? Cheeseboards are back, babe. Cheeseboards? Is that young? Are you listening to this crap? Okay, yeah, cheeseboards. I don't really... I'm not first about cheeseboards. But like...

Okay. Okay. I was just saying. No, no, I'm sorry. You need this. You need this more than I do, clearly. No, I'm just trying to give you all at home and I... Cheeseboards. Pumpkin candles. Movies.

What's your favorite movie at the moment? What have you watched? I feel judged by you and actually, I don't think that this feels like a safe space anymore. So listen, why do you tell me what your autumnal recommendations are? Fuck Helen Bauer. Our guest is here. Please, welcome to the podcast.

Jamie DeSuzza! Hey, Helen, are you going on tour? I'm going on tour. Tell me more. Thank you so much for everyone who's already come to. Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberystwyth, Norwich, Bristol, Bristol and Manchester. It's been real. Thank you for my gifties as well.

I genuinely very much appreciate it, including the artwork that makes Catherine incredibly upset. It's anxiety-provoking. Don't. It's beautiful. I am still on tour for the rest of the month. I am going to Birmingham, Brighton, Cambridge, Nottingham, Oxford, Leeds,

York, Liverpool, Leicester, Newcastle, Berlin, London, and then Maidenhead at the end because we had to move it. So definitely, definitely come for the big final end of the tour, 18th of November, midweek in Maidenhead. It's going to be fucking popping. But we do have a full week at the Soyr Theatre in London

and my mother's coming to one of them so you have to come and see if you can get a glimpse of the Ambaugh School of Drama herself. It's such a good show. It's such a good show. It's such a good show. It's such a good show.

It's a lovely show. It's moving. You know what? It's really, really funny. Just come. Thank you. Welcome to Trusty Hall. Welcome, please.

We're in. You have to help us. It's starting. We hate each other today. We're kind of fighting. I'm sorry. I don't know if you're the child of divorce, but it should be this. No?

Well, it's your first experience. Yeah, yeah. Here you go. We've got two sisters now? Yes. What do you think divorces? No, but you can. No, you have two sisters.

Yeah, yeah. I just think, Jamie, you're a very lovely, very funny stand-comedian. Thank you. You've found yourself in the middle of, of what I can only describe as the bitch fight of the century. It's PMSing time. Everybody's having a bad day and we're taking it out on each other. And actually, listen, how old are your siblings?

Where are you in the lineup? I've got, so I've got an older sister who's two years older. And I've got, so she's 29, 927. And I've got a younger sister who Helen met once. I love her. She was 18. Little Hannah. She was lush.

She was fucking lush. She was nine years younger than you? Yeah. Hello, Hannah. but um yeah what's that we all have the Hannah in our family hi Hannah

we were all expecting you but can you then picture us as I'll be I'll probably be the big sister because Catherine's quite immature today I'm the eldest in my family I'm obviously going to be the eldest in this dynamic okay so all we're saying is like whatever awful moments you found yourself in

between two sisters when you were younger you're now in it again right I'm the eldest of three my brothers a middle child what's it like being the brother of two sisters it's yeah it's not great why well older sister elder sister has started recently doing clowning which is very much my turn not that i do clowning i just stand still and tell one line that's close enough to my world right whoa my little sister little hannah he meant it's funnier than me oh even worse of you fucking kidding that's really first of all i thought you'd be more ashamed of the older sister doing clowning rather than like worried

She was too close in herodry. But the younger one's funnier than you? I think so. It's what people seem to say. I think so. People keep saying it. No, Catherine, she was funny. She was quick.

And she was very hungover. She was on a low airpoint. You were really low. And she was still like fucking. You have to think a lot to get a hangover at 18. She okay. Wow. Well, we were doing Reading and I got a free ticket.

So I thought, obviously, I'm not a teenager. So I don't actually want to be at a Reading Festival. Very grateful to be there. But like, yeah. Thank you. I was 31 and I had a lovely time. So I don't know why this is what I'm coming from. But I thought like 18, you know, that's like,

I got a ticket from my little sister and then she hated it because she was just, she was, she was, yeah, yeah. She was in a 10, everyone was really young, everyone else was 18. Yeah, yeah. She was merely 17 men. She couldn't keep up with the 18 year. Oh my God, that's so funny. And then that's the thing, because we were doing the gig on the Sunday.

We got to sort of shepherd her backstage and there was like a sofa and some hummus. Yeah. that she refused to acknowledge that her brother was really cool because he had his own cabin backstage. That's so funny. Because she was not going to let him have it. But you can tell that she was also like 100% messaging people of being like, I'm backstage.

I got 100% tell that she was loving it. Just eating snacks in the trailers. I know about it. My brother's got two sisters and I think he thrived with it. Yeah, my kid. But he does flinch when either of us come close to him. Like still, he's like, because I think he should suffer because he treated us so badly there were periods that he would like do really like use his words a very manipulative

boy ted actually very manipulative boy i remember he would do this thing where like mum would be like right i will give you a pound ted if you tidy your room and then i wouldn't hear that and then he'd go like helen i'll give you 20 p if you tied my room and i was like 20 p what and he's like and i'll double it if you do everything else um i want you to do for a day and i'd be like oh my god amazing i don't mind I'll tidy for 40p but then I'd tidy the room it would take like 20 minutes or something and then the rest of the day he owned me so he would make me stand up and then he'd push me on the ground

but I had to get back like burpees but with violence and then I'd eventually cry and quit and he'd be like well you've got to pay the quitting fee so then I'd have to give him 50p and then he walks away £1.50 with a tidy room with just a tired arm and I'm just ruined I'm in ribbon. Have you considered that You could have made different choices.

I was so little. How much old was he? I was like 14. He was 16? 14. 14. I was fully. I was like,

what the hell? I was the oldest trick of the comedy book. I still just fell for it. He's not. He said. We were like, 14! I would say genuinely my brother did well from having two sisters because he,

no, because he's so good at talking to women. Like, he's really capable in all those, in spaces that are like, female heavy he's so good at it and he's like funny he's emotionally articulate

oh that's not translated to me none no that's not what you got from look at it I don't think it's just like as expressive as I get genuinely it's I've never like you are English too though so that's going to kind of counterbalance

some of the emotional articulation yeah that's true what do you think you did learn from having two sisters what did I learn emotional maturity yeah emotional maturity trying to think what people do that.

What should I have learned from my sister? I guess some TV programs that they watch that I wouldn't have watched. Wait, what were you watching? My eldest sister got me into ballet when I was like three. Whoa. I then fell out of ballet

when I went to school and it became like less socially acceptable which I guess is a shame. Oh, that's not really good. You want to be a ballet ballet? Yeah. Yeah, it's a shame, isn't it? Did you do it outside of school

or do you just like watching? Yeah, look. I can do good toes, bad toes, still. Sorry, I mean, that's not really. I believe it's good toes, naughty toes as well, is it? I'll show you. Good time. No,

no, that's naughty to then. Good time. Very nice. And then the teacher would be like, amazing, Helen, you're the lead in Coppelia. And I'd be like, that's the ballet.

Wow. I'm sorry that you lost out on that. That's because of patriarchal norms in school. It's a real bad story. You grew up watching like Gilmore girls and Buffy one of those boys, what are you? No, but I did watch some,

I'm trying to think with my sister, like the Princess Diaries. I think I've watched that a few times. The movie? I think so. Without Hathaway? Maybe. The seminal piece of cinema that was...

Is it good? Is it good? Genovia. What do we... Mia Thermopolis Rinaldi. I just mean... Mia! Is there a scene where they're eating some soup and it's got a G in it or something?

Yeah! Is there... The Genovia! You buy a pair of socks, that's two socks. buy a pair of Bombas socks, that's four socks. Because one purchased is one donated. Sox are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters. So when you buy a pair of super comfortable Bombas socks, you're also donating a pair. Bombas customers have powered over 150 million donations. So Bombas would like to thank you 150 million times, but we only have like 30 seconds. Go to Bombas.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout. Pair soup. Is that what it is? Yeah.

This is all coming back to me now. And even more. Julie Andrews. Behind the scenes gossip on that scene from the film. Oh my God. Anne Hathaway as Princess Amelia Minuet Renaudi Femopoulos, I think that's a full name, is wearing a purple, like, jacket over a purple dress. Right.

Which is based off Princess Victoria's dress, who is the Crown Princess of Sweden. And she wore it the same summer they were filming. She wore it? Whoa. She wore it? She wore it? She wore it? She wore it?

She wore it? War. Yeah. Like... She wore it. W-O-R-E. Close, though. Walled it.

Ward it. Yeah, because it's in the past. She wore it. She wore it. No, she wore it. I've got a point. You know what? You've embarrassed you.

What's happened there, Catherine, is you've embarrassed yourself. You've made it. Warn it, warn it. She'd warn it or she wore it. She'd warn it. She'd warn it. She wore it. Look, I feel.

the brother energy from him right now we both looked at him and you didn't know where to look so you went down yeah it's just a submissive boy that's what you learned from your sister's submission yeah whipped into shape from a young age yeah did you watch legally blonde um i think i might have seen a bit of it i'm really bad with films though yeah i'm concerned now that your education around film is poor charlie's angels no i've genuinely seen like i know it's like people like yeah i don't watch any films but like the only film i've really seen that i've like loved was chicken run which to be Fair, is a good film.

And we were talking about this yesterday. Well, yeah. It's an absolute classic. It's one of the best, I think it's literally the best film ever. Oh my God. So, Chloe Pett said, which I think is true, it stands the test of time. It does. Absolutely.

And you know that there's a chicken run too coming in 2020. I'm well excited. Is there? Dawn of the Nugget. Dawn of the Nucket. No, that's not the name of the film. Dawn of the Nugget. How did you not know this?

No one seems to know, but it's been like, there's been controversy and everything around the Hastings. It's been so excited. What's the controversy? Well, where's Gibson? Is he in it? Is he not? Julia being too old by the park was a serious. Oh, come on. She's in, but like there was an actual conversation about that. Get fucked.

Oh, is she in now? Yeah, I think so. Good to hear. Oh, yeah. Happy about that. I know, I know. Do you know what the storyline is? I can't still be on the... Nick Mohamed's in? Yeah, I think Ramesh. Ramesh is in, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big comedy chub. Just too, sorry, I do, I love chicken

run, so let's not get angry with Helen. Just as a little reminder, because it's been a little bit of a while. So the film ends and it's no longer a pie farmer. It's an egg farm, right? No, it went from egg to pie. Yeah, but the end of the film, they'd gone back to the pie. No, they're not even on the farm. They build a plane and they fly out, and then they end up living in a field.

Oh, they find a field. Yeah. Oh, my God. Now you can remember something you can remember a movie when it's about chickens, huh? Absolutely. When it's about women. I love the chicken rung. Because that's the one with the Scottish chicken

that does all the science. And then who plays the American chicken, the rooster? That's Tom, no. Is that? Mel Gibson, yeah. Mel Gibson is in it? No, he's not in number two. That's our point.

But what we were saying yesterday is that there have to be some queer. There presumably have to be some queer chickens this time, right? In that female heaviest space, we were saying? Like, there's no way there's no. You say like when it's a film about women, but that's got like so many female, like strong female characters in it.

You're willing to watch a film about women if they're chicken. Only if they're animated chickens. Hey now. Let me just end my cartoon. Those chicks are all women. Wait, what's the name? Nugget.

Nugget. The dawn of the nugget. They can't be turning them into nuggets, can they? That would be awful. I reckon someone's trying. I reckon it's obviously. Yeah. It's definitely nugget related.

Spoiler. Oh my God. Okay, I'm excited for this. This is a really good time to be alive. because Inside Out are doing a sequel as well. What? Did you hear this? So I've not cried in like 10 years because I can't.

But then I watched that film and I was welling up. Are you okay, Jamie? No. No, I'm fine, but I can't like. So you've watched Chicken Run and Inside Out? Yeah. Citizen Kane? No.

I mean, I hate it. Bridge over the River Kwai. I'm just going to name Classics. Little women. Yes. There we go. I have seen that. Which one?

The new one. Nice. Okay. Yeah, yeah, it was good. With Sir Sharonan, I would highly recommend the Winona Ryder. The original one. Oh, my God. I don't think it's the OJ, but it's one of my OJs.

So you don't like films. Do you read a lot? No. What's you doing with your time, Jamie? What's up to? I actually, I know what he does with his time. What's he do? I have spent some time with Chelsea Backby recently.

Oh, no. And apparently you've got really into pranking. No, just my friend. Oh, yeah, did she tell you about the pranks? She just told me you're pranking at the moment. And I went, I would like. You're pranking like it's 2004. Yeah.

No, but we do nice pranks. We're not like jackass. What are nice pranks? We made a fake podcast. I'm going to say about that. Who was that nice for? She went, Jamie's really into pranking. And then I was like, I'll talk to him about it.

Because pranking can be one of two things. Either you're going for like a really fun whimsy phase or you're having a breakdown and you just need to act out like a child. And I wanted to see if I could figure it out. I think it might be the latter. Okay. One prank we did is. You know, Mark Bittlestone?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he's my mate. I was emceeing a gig, and he was turning up late. Uh-huh. So I told the audience that every time he did a joke, someone should just whisper really loudly that they've heard another comic do that bit before. Oh, that's a real.

It's a nice, prank. How is that nice? No, it's not nice. But he's my mate. He must have had a breakdown on the stage. So he did his first bit, which I'll be honest, was about being a gay orphan. And then someone just whispered by like, James A. Caster does that. Oh, yeah, Ake has to speak a bit about being a gay outfit.

Oh my God. One really good prank, but two, if the metric is nice. Oh, lovely cool. Have you ever been pranked on stage? No, that's horrible. I've had it once. I don't know what happened. I don't want that.

I was, this is literally just like a month ago. Wait, were you affecting his, like, how he was being seen at this club? Oh, it was just like a new, it was like a new material night, so it's fine. Okay, cool. Can you imagine if you were, like, auditioning for some club and someone's, I'd be like, yeah oh my god you'd a hundred percent be like

what was that no it's not no it's oh yeah that prank would not have last along with me if anyone even breathes

oh really yeah what you say yeah he did that he had he laid into this guy because so the second one

so we start off it's genuinely a very funny comic yeah oh great very lovely boys feels a bit of material though

though oh no no loads is my iPad yeah yeah yeah so the second person he did another bit

which wasn't even a new bit but then someone went oh i've seen joe lice it do that bit and then the guy he said it was another comic who'd booked him for his night before oh i was like you see me do this bit before you book me why not tell me that before you book me why not tell me that on stage his face went bright red and the third one was joe pasquale he's done that a bit before joe per squirely yeah i think at that point he realized it might be a prank and then he found out we had a nice little hug on stage and he found it very funny so he wasn't we know Never take it too far.

I think it's quite funny, actually. That is too far. That's too far. You're not a pranky person though. Yeah, some people just aren't into pranks and that's, we wouldn't prank them. I would be furious. Yeah. I've only been pranked on stage once and this was just literally a couple of weeks ago.

I don't know whether I said this in the podcast already. It was my, you know what? So I went to Oslo, obviously, and then I went to the hospital. But I did one gig there, one gig. Yeah. And it was the first night. And obviously the whole show is in Norwegian, the whole show, apart from when I. I speak.

At latter. Yeah. At Lotto. Lotto. Lotto. Lotto. And so the guy was bringing me on and like I found out afterwards.

But so like it was just a normal night, right? A lovely club gig where they just like clap and the comedian goes on. But he clearly said to them, the next act is English. They're going to be speaking English. They have no idea what's going on right now so we can do whatever we want. So when I call their name, I want you all to lose your minds and stand up.

Which obviously means that I'm at the back of the room going, okay well first night first time in it like every time you're gig in a new country always like god god knows god knows this is going to work or like maybe their most famous comedian has a bit that's really similar to this like everything goes through your mind that's awful and then i'm walking up and they're all losing their mind to the point where i'm like oh god did he just say like sarah silverman or something do you know what i mean we're like i don't know like are they like i'm going to oh am i going to walk on and they're going to be like we were we we we thought it was amy schumery serious but then like and then i do the gig and i was like on stage being like oh my god thank you

thank you so much because I had arrived and they were all still clapping and I was like oh my God maybe maybe they've all seen my clip on live with the Apollo

or something it must have just I must be really big here and I was like oh my God it was so weird and I almost had anything at the airport

when I landed and you think I would have mentioned if I was famous here so I'm like oh my God thank you you can sit down thank you so much

I did my set and luckily went good but they must have all been like oh she did I genuinely thought that was for her because I did not pick up on the matter. How would you think otherwise? Yeah.

So I was like, oh, and at the end of the kick, I was like, oh my God, like, what did you say to them before I went on? And he was like, oh, I just said it'd be really funny if we all stood up and you had no idea what's happening. But I'd never seen anyone take it that way. And I was like, I'll kill myself.

And then coincidentally, next day, got a viral infection at the top of my stomach and couldn't go back. And I was like, you know what, I was fucking saved. Their only experience of me is this English girl arrived, did a gig, thought she was really famous, left and then never returned to the club again. Sort of beautiful karma to that prankster

because now it looks like he bullied you out of the workplace. I'd be like, I hope he messaged you and was like, sorry, is this because of the standing ovation? Not why I messaged him. But I'm really sorry, I'm not going to be down to. But the worst thing is, like, even knowing that they'd been told to do it, I was still like,

felt really good. Yeah, no, no doubt, no doubt. It's like when you find out when you're little that like someone was told to invite you to their birthday party and you're supposed to be embarrassed, you're like, still got the party, right, though. I'm not going to feel like any fucking. Yeah, the pity invites.

Yeah, yeah. You still get cake. You still get cake. You get cake. You still that. Can I hear another prank? Do you have any others? Or are they all too shameful?

No, no. I'm not ashamed of any of them. You're not doing clings. film on the toilet you're jane no that's you're in your 20s now i don't want you doing that my boy but um what yeah that is great no i would it yeah i yeah i don't you're doing that too no i don't like any i don't like any jokes that are about toilet stuff genuinely i can't i get disgusted so easily correct i stuff like so i could never do a prank correct on the lines of that so if i start talking about anal worms stop it stop it stop it

Yeah, okay, well. I've done that before. Maybe I could understanding this, people. But what other pranks? I made a fake, this might be too like comedy and everything. I made a fake podcast with, it sounds like they're all about Mark. Actually, a lot of them are. Are you secretly in love with Mark?

He is, but let's let the audience cover up that. We won't do it. Okay. Yeah, maybe I should tell him before. Oh, just send him this podcast. Mark, he loves you. Hi, Mark. Hey, Mark.

Hey, Mark, Mark, you're right. Hi, Mark, you're all right? You're not emoting, can you? This is the man he loves most in the world, a passionate love. Hey, Mark, you're all right? Hello. Do you want to say hi to your sisters as well? You're all right?

He just did a thumbs up for the women he's shared a uterus with. Okay, go on? Yeah, yeah. I assume. No, you're around, you're around, eggs are around, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's true. What practice? So we made...

Crazy presumptuous as me, actually. I made a fake podcast. called Eyes on the Industry. Did you see this? And it was, can I show your picture? Yes, I... Did you see this? No, I didn't...

Was that you? Yeah, that was me. I swear I heard about this podcast. Was that real? No, it's real that I made it. Can I show you a picture? Can I get my phone out? Of course.

Yeah, obviously. Why are you looking at me like for permission? Because I thought you were in charge. I obviously am, correct. But it was the fear. I'm raising my C. Fear with which she was like... I don't like you and Catherine

gets seen as the main one. So if anyone just listening and not watching on you. I have raised my seat 10 inches. To be clear, it's not that I'm the main one. You occupy the most time and space, but I'm obviously in charge of the situation. You can just feel you like it'll never be effective

because I'm in charge. Oh, my God. So this is the pocket, so it's called Eyes on the Industry podcast. Can we show the... Oh, absolutely, yeah. Oh, my God. Steve Bennett, who's a reviewer for Chortle and Mark Bittleston with guest, Molly McGinnis.

A weekly look, the inner workings of the comedy industry. A biweekly look. A biweekly. Fiveweekly, that's so fun. Can you see it him? That's so funny. This is so comedy, inside comedy. Yeah, but what we do is we'd get Molly to share it on our story, but hide it from Mark.

So basically Mark was the last person to know that he had this podcast and we got Finlay to do it. We've got Alex Kitson to do it, Millie Haswell. Oh my God. She is so funny. Millie Haswell. Oh, yeah, she's great. I gave her the other day for the first time she was incredible. If you're at home and you're like, wait what?

this is like, imagine Annie, a comedian like pairing up with a reviewer who savages, you know, all of the other members of the industry as is his job, but like not always if you're good, like, well, if he thinks you're good, that's not the case. But my point is like for a, like a relatively new comedian

to have a podcast with a very established review, which seems to just be like I guess I assume slagging off the industry as I presume you would assume it to be. And that seems... A professional graphic of them being the co-host of this podcast. I've had it shared by several comedian saying professional you're welcome

comedians would be like hey yeah well someone messaged mark being like hey like are you booking for guests at the moment that feels for a bit like this oh I don't want to say you better tell me after you better tell us after I'll tell you after and it's like I remember a while ago yeah yeah I'll get you on yeah what the fuck babe we do it together we do it together book us both yeah the crossover episode nice Can we do it now because I'm on tour? Yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Ages ago, there was like, right, do you remember when, like, people would sort of like, back in the day, I'm not going to say the word because it's like an abhorrent thing to say, but like people would take someone's Facebook and they'd log in and they'd do a status. And it was called, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we're in the blanks. And it was like a really common thing to do. And then there was like a little period, I'd say Edinburgh, 2018 and 2019, when comedians do the other than Twitters. Oh, no. Like people, someone would leave their phone on a table. They'd be drunk late in the courtyard and they'd post something.

And there were some mad ones about like, like, people like chucking out reviewers or like, I pulled all my shows because no one's coming. I'm used to say anyway. Oh my God. But the best one was one of like, it was a couple that had been together for years. I'll tell you who they are afterwards. You don't know already. And they like put up a message being like, look, we've broken up.

But like, I don't want to say exactly why, but it's not good. what they've done. I'm moving on. I just want everyone to know. But it insinuing. That's evil. That's not a prank. That's like libel.

But I read it and I was like, oh my God. This is insane. Because it's like you only see these things like once in a lifetime, right? It's like when I'm Judith one who wants to be a millionaire. And you just knew you were in, you were living a moment. Yeah, it's so true.

But it's also like, the problem is, like recently, another couple in comedy did break up and put up a joint status on Twitter. Yes. But they actually had broken up and everyone was like, lo, I imagine. And in my head, I was like, pah! That's funny.

And it was like, oh no, they did. They did. Oh, that one I got. That one I got. I didn't get that. I was just like, lulled. And then I was like, oh no, they did. They actually, oh my God, they are really.

Maybe it's because you guys don't have such high emotional intelligence as I do that chicken run is the film that bestates with both of you most and I genuinely I love chicken run. Did I say most? Did I say I was trying to relate to you right you have been a fucking gray day cunt all day so far today and apps I'm sorry Jamie but since before you got here I had to make a give me compliment we're queer calling me a cunt is not an insult is it not gray day cunt that's of anything I'm putting that on my hand You have a shitty asshole

But you don't wipe You've got a worst shitty asshole It has to be plausible Okay Your bath has a hair in it That you didn't see When you wiped it down this morning Your bath has a straight hair in

You missed it You didn't look properly If I did I check I check Can I tell you a really gross thing? Oh my God Always tell me a gross thing No you're staying

I think you'll find this gross And you might not find it as gross Based on what you do I can tell already This is my friend She Go home She has a screen protector on her phone

and she has a hair stuck underneath it and she's been using her phone for like a year and it's got one hair just between the screen and the screen how's that take it off

and get the hair out and put it back on again Are you serious? What's gross about that? What's she keeping it for? It's just disgusting. She like handed me on phone to like Google something

and I like threw it out of my hand and like wretched Oh my God I thought the story was going to be and she has alopecia I thought that was going to be like the mystery was like and where does it come

Just fucking rank, just fucking change it. Just like literally take it out. It's hair. It's one hair. Take it out. Take it out. It's trapped in her phone forever. Just take it out.

It's not trapped in her phone. You just pull off. I used to have a screen protector on this. But she hasn't pulled it off. It's been there for ages. Yeah, but it's just a hair, isn't it? But why is it there? Because hair is every, there's hair everywhere here.

Inside your phone. No, no, no, no, no. How is that a problem? You're disgusting. You guys are freaks. Hey, and the world is a hard place for people like you. really yeah how do you get on my shoulders are so high yeah I don't want to stop it oh really really actually not good for me that's not good for you um we should do an

enlist their problem because I think we finally oh no I've got a great thing to say about worms we don't want to hear it no no no oh that's a prank I did once do you want to hear another prank yeah I once got a kinder egg toy took the toy out Kinder egg toy babe yeah put a worm inside it closed it back up gave it to my friend and went you can have you can have you can have a toy and he opened it I'm not listening. And he's up in the air and it landed on it. That's a good one.

I'm going to stony that one to nail later. I don't like it. I don't like it. It's over? Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.

No, I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm actually really glad you came because before this we were just discussing. It's nice to walk through leaves and feed. Catherine feeds her squirrels nuts in the parks. Oh, lovely. No, don't.

Okay. Yeah. Isn't it nice to be the squirrels? Yeah. Well, I've never done it. Okay. this is the worst do we have a listener problem

I'll solve this one I tell you now I can solve a problem back on how do you solve a problem like Maria there you go very nice focus how do you hold a moon beam in your hand

Helen you're pretty what's wrong with you I don't know. What did you have at lunch? Was it a lemonade? You were with me. But you had a large coffee and then a lemonade. Is that what you had?

I went to the Mumbai Street Kitchen and they had Limca, which is a really lovely, like, lemonade, very sugary drink from India. Yeah, you're not allowed to have that again. And I never see Limca. Limca's never anywhere. I thought I had a limka.

That might be it. I don't know if they've got sugar taxes in India that control how much sugar goes into something. I reckon no. I think no as well. Have you ever had an Indian suite? Yeah, I go to have gem on? Oh my God, just one of them in instant diabetes.

Sunil started buying packs of them at home. You're not allowed to do any of that. And he's basically just two balls in this fat of melted sugar. And because Sunil has no energy ever. Like, even after that, he's like, do you go for a walk? A walk? Okay. Take a breath.

Take a breath. Ooh, I'm very excited. We're going to do a new problem, focus. Make some more warder, please. Not DJ me. I can, you can, you can. My ward, oh, it's... Yeah, we've got some, okay.

My chair went back down again. I didn't think it was working. Okay, sorry. Okay, this is from Elle. Hi, Elle. Hey, Trusty Hogs. Just want to say thank you for the podcast and the many laughs on long and tiring days.

You're welcome. I've recently taken up competing in powerlifting these last couple of months. Fucking yes! Nice. And have been told I have the chance of qualifying for nationals in November. Oh, my God. Is that like regionals and pitch path at that sort of like level?

Yeah, I would assume so. Sick. But I'm finding it really difficult when everyone around me is telling me not to do it and saying I'm mad doing it, as I travel from Essex to London five times a week after an eight-hour workday. I find it especially difficult as I'm currently living back at home as I've just dropped out of uni and I'm being constantly asked what I'm planning on doing and have no idea. Lifting staff. I was wondering how I'm meant to keep doing.

it when it feels like everyone's telling me not to. What the hell do you hear our reaction? Oh my God. Yeah, I just really want to like... She must be hard as nails. Yeah. Who's having to go at her? Who's wrong with your fucking people around you? Yeah, that's insane.

Look, here's the only question that matters, Elle. Do you want to do it? Because if you want to do it, it's so cool, it's so impressive. It takes such commitment to take such hard work. It's so badass. Fucking do it. And bear in mind that your living situation is not permanent,

but your sense of self is and your identity is and your ambition and hobbies are and also maybe have a word with the people around you and say this is really important to me what would be lovely is if their concern is

that seems really hard for you you explain the only thing that's making it harder is the lack of support and then you ask them to respect your commitment to something that's fine that's what it is because when someone goes like oh you've dropped out of uni

and you know you're living back at home and all you're doing is going to London and picking up pieces of metal And it's like, yeah, because it makes me fucking happy and I'm good at it. It's like, why are you making it sound like something? Do you know what I mean? Like I know.

I'm because I'm the best in the country. I'm not just good at it. I'm the best in the fucking country. Yeah. And it takes massive commitment, training, probably dietary constraints, like lots of like effort. Yeah. And also it's not something that's like women or like,

like, I don't know whether not this person is female, but like whoever it is. It's like, that's not a thing most people can do. Yes. Yeah. It's very exciting. And I think you should, um, ditch everyone in your life.

I think we're doing. Just pick him up. Yeah. Lobbam. Grab machine style. Yeah. Nice. God, we are on fire today, Jamie.

Problem southern wise. Go and watch the first toy story film fans. Yes. He's seen it. He's seen it. Sid and Andy go to Pizza Planet. And the aliens are in the

claw. And you get a big claw. Their claw. And you get the claw to come and pick up all of your friends and family. family, all you all love ones. I like that.

And you dump them in the Irish sea. No, look, here's the thing. The Irish thing. You explain to your family that it matters to you that at the moment when you are feeling adrift, it's giving you a sense of purpose and self. A drift at the Irish sea. Yeah, we're on the same pay.

You know what? And you can't stop the punning. Okay. And you just do what you want. If you don't want to do it, obviously by all means, don't do it. But if you want to do it, then you need to explain to those people

what it means to you at the minute and then ask them to fucking get on board or at the very least. The claw. Say nothing. And if they don't think you'd say, the claw. It's not the claw, guys. But yeah, but a sidebar, can we go back to our initial reaction,

which is what you should be hearing when you say that you do that, which is, wow! That's so cool! Lifting is so cool! Also, follow Jess Foster Q. Fan Brady. These are powerlifting comedians. They're so cool.

And it's so impressive. That's so bad. And Guinness Book of World Records, there's always a page of people who could lift big things on that. Yeah. Yep. Yeah I think it's amazing well done

none of this negative chat that's absolutely nonsense also Essex isn't that far away why are we acting like you're not coming from Yorkshire every day it's fine it's fine

even Yorkshire to London I think's fine no that would be even Scotland that's a two hour six minute journey absolutely fine there's no distance I think that

I've travelled the Irish sea to the Wax Museum you're supposed to the Irish Sea what have you put there I've never been to the Irish Do you think that answers I don't, I think we've answered all of it Yeah, totally

Okay, good Well, in that case Thank you so much for writing in Please know that not all of your problems Will be answered in this style Catherine has been very shrill And we use So sorry

The level of mania Coming out of you today Is so I feel like I'm losing my mind Okay, well here's what we're going to do We're going to turn our attention to our guest, Jamie We're going to say thank you for coming Thank you for having me

Thank you for coming, Jamie We're going to say, hey, Jamie, where can people see you? Do stand-up comedy? Just at gigs and stuff. Do you have a website? I've got Instagram. Right. What's your Instagram?

It's Jamie DeSuza with two A's on the end. How we spell in it? J-A-M-I-E-D-S-O-Z-A. Great. You thought people would struggle with the Jamie part? Yeah. Pretty disrespectful of our audience, Jamie DeSuzza. Pretty disrespectful.

Also, Jamie will be tagged in all of our Instagram and traits about this week's episode of fun. enjoy and benta. And Helen needs to have a time out before the next episode. We can only apologize. We've got a week. You need to take some breath. I know.

Jamie, more importantly, is there anything anybody else would need to know about you? Are you doing a show that you want them to see? No. Do you are, are you on Twitter? I'm on Twitter.

Great. Jamie underscore DeSuzza. Great. My name is spelling just the 1-8. Jamie's very, very funny. Definitely go see him and follow him online. You never know when the next prank's coming. Oh yeah.

Follow me for prank updates. If anyone wants me to do a prank, so me and Mark is setting up a prank clinic. So just message us if you want us to do some pranks. Prank clinic. On a certain person. Can I prank you? No, you can't prank me. Do you want me to prank Helen?

Yeah, we'll be in touch. It would be really great. Thank you so much. Except you and I would be like, it's the most disgusting prank in the world. We put a hair on her bag and she's never noticed. And I'm like, oh, new hair, new hair. A hair dog. Putting it on your phone.

You get a single camera of me. And I'm like, a hair. I look frowning at it and you film me going to my room taking out my hair drawer and turning it making my doll

of many colors. It's a bed for her slug collection. Hell, hell. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. It's been loving to have you here.

Thank you. Thank you, Jamie for coming. Thank you. Jamie, you says everybody. Jamie. Thank you.