Trusty Hogs - Ep68. CRIZARDS / Debt, Dazzles & Vitamin D

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Comedy double act Crizards join us this week ahead of their Soho Theatre show all about cowboys and break ups. Meanwhile, Helen is back from Disney with some Princess drama (not Diana this time!), Catherine has been to Paris, and we help a listener (barely) with budgeting...FOLLOW CRIZARDS: @CrizardsThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Eddie Doyle / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes / Sarah & Molly / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie Chivers / Graham Marsh / Emily Gee / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie WebWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer @CatherineBohart @StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Download today. Hello! The year is 1968, and it's episode 68 of Trustee Hodge. The year is 2023. 20th, 3. Okay. Happy January. To all of you, little hoggies.

My name's Catherine Boehart. And she's Helen Bauer. And we are doing a podcast where we talk about ourselves. Why won't you try to do it nice and light? I am genuinely trying. I am jet-lacked. Hello, welcome to January 2023, episode 68. She's Helen Bauer.

I'm Catherine Bower. This is our podcast where, frankly, we pretend our lives are going better than they are so that then you feel bad. We have to help you with your little problems, but ultimately we're all in this shit together. Hello. I'm thriving. Through the fog, step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem.

They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty. Hugs, trust the trusty hogs, or maybe not. Welcome to trusty hogs. Hi! Right, what the fuck? No, no, no. What the fuck were you doing going to a football match yesterday?

There is no sex that is good enough to make you stand in the cold in January for a football match and then to have the audacity to say to all of us, me, M and Andrew this morning, I had the perfect day. I had a perfect day. No. Can I tell you for why? Okay, explain why. right first of all You had a hot line about it

and you I'm so sorry yesterday was my accent so bad no first of all yesterday was the first day I got

fun on my fucking face for what feels like five month so that that was good also in essence

we were late for the football so we rocked up we were like 10 minutes late we watched half an hour football

which to me is just when was women's football just checking out lesbians yeah both on and off the pit very exciting

that feels very derivative then we what I would just say that feels very derivative I feel like we should be

watching them for their sport and not their boobies. Do you mean objectifying? What's derivative then? It means like you're like copying something from something else. Like if it's derivative like your comedy is derivative from like somebody else that would be you copying

them. Do you mean? Not Amy Schumer. No, I didn't want to say and listen I stopped at the end of the sentence and allowed you to fill in. And the thing is... Okay

that feels very objectifying Catherine. Yeah for sure and listen I do it to the men as well. So I really do. But then every lesbian I knew was there, I couldn't move for lesbians being there. Even though lesbians I didn't run into, were messaging me, Chloe Petz, being like, we're here.

Well, actually Chloe Pets didn't message me. Oh, the cock did. So, Chloe, yeah. So what, like, East London Lesbian Central? East London Lesbian Central. A ladies football. Obviously. And then, and then I went straight to Friends House and played Articulate, and we won. Okay, that's more of a Catherine book. I can see why that's the perfect day, because

there's competition, there's a win and there's words like right it was like check out hot lesbians get a bit of fun on my face now let's do the real business of playing a proper sport articulate off of you and it was joyful and joyous and I had a lovely day that's a nice day actually I just can't believe you went to the football and thrived I know and also like can we talk about me having a Sunday that was wholesome and a day off and I went to bed at like 10 bm and I was so I was really lovely there's no reason for me to be feeling as sad as I am and yet here we find ourselves why is January kicking my ass I know I Know this.

I know this. It's kicking my asshole. It's, right. Physically, the, yeah, it's kicking you in the asshole. It's kicking my asshole, rectum bum. There's God's puts up your anus. It won't stop kicking my blood hole. The toe's stuck.

It's in me. Yeah. It's in me. Yeah. There's January's toes in my rectum. Why is my poo not coming out? Oh, no. It's coming out my mouth.

January. January is blocking the way. Right. You are lacking in vitamins very significantly because you haven't received. And I know you got like, 30 minutes of sunlight on your face or whatever. It's not the same. It's so important to have sunlight.

I would recommend a blood test. And I love that I'm in control of this, because I've had so many mental breakdowns around this time of year that I've only figured it out like three years ago. Question? Go for it. Can you just ask for a blood test?

You can if you're like significantly struggling with your mental health in January, which, no doctor, but you in a bad way, girl. Catherine said. And I usually arrive crying. And Catherine was like, no, no, no. And I was like, oh, look who's in a miserable mood. I tried to do that thing when I was like, can we not talk about me?

But that's so unusual for me that everyone was like, what? And then I was like, also my first instinct was to sing, I just can't wait to be king from the Lion King to cheer you up. And you just started a conversation with them. I did. It was quite cold, actually. Yeah, no, I can still be with it. You can get a blood test when you're really struggling with mental health.

And often they find that you're like significantly lacking in a vitamin. And you know the vitamin D supplements, the ones you can buy, off the shelf. They're good but they are like 20,000 unit pills which makes such a difference. Oh really? If your brain, and it's just like a quick prescription, you can also get a spray that goes straight into your bloodstream which is

fucking sick. And I find that makes such a difference. Is this spray prescription as well? No, I don't know. Holland and Barrett, bitch. Okay, can we go there after? Yeah, we can go there afterwards. Okay, but anyway, I'm fine and you went to the actual... If Andrew cared about us, he'd probably go now. Wow, that's quite...

Andrew, you go to Oxford Street and by Helen and Catherine Vitam. Yeah, because Catherine's very sad. Look at the state of her. Look at the state of her. Look at her. I can smell her from here. I haven't watched it as like nine days.

She's in a bad way. Hey, that's nine days. Yeah, my hair really does look like fire when it's dirty. Hey, here's the thing. I think Andrew does a job when we're doing the podcast. Like, I think he does actually stop. What's sitting there pressing his buttons. Yeah, well, you don't put it like that.

I can mute your mic. No, no, not again. So, okay, so you went to the source and got some vitamin D. So I thrived. And I don't mean you got fucked. I mean you went to Florida. Flowrider! How was it?

How was it? It was everything in the entire world. Wait, hang on. Do you get it? I know. The artist Flowriders from Florida, Flowrider. I know. I remember when I first found this out.

It was about 10 years ago. What? Wow. How derivative of you. No, still, no. No, because you're copying me not knowing 10 years ago, no? Kind of real stretch. Okay.

Bless you. Wow. Oh, wow. But he weren't there. Oh, not that I saw. Okay. So. Sorry, okay, I'm back with you.

That's, we're always learning. We're always learning. I went to Florida and then I went to Nashville. No, I did not see Brianna de Jesus from teen mom in Florida. And no, I did not see Macy book out from Teen Mum OG in Tennessee. That's a shame. It, they don't, they just wander around. It'd be hard to recognise Macy now.

She's like, we all changed, really changed it up, hasn't she? Absolutely not. You could totally recognise her by her husband Taylor or Bentley or the kids, Jade and Maverick. Wait, which husband is which? She doesn't have two husbands. No, Taylor. Okay, what about Ben, who's Bentley the son?

Her son, with Ryan. Ryan, I was trying to figure out Ryan's name. You are not a Teen Moji fan, baby. I did way better there than anybody expected behave yourself. Come on. Okay. I went to the magical kingdom. to Epcot

to Disney's Animal Kingdom otherwise known as Dak to the kids in the know was up and I also went to Hollywood Studios and then I went to Nashville and then we came back to Florida and we had one night to Phil

and we stayed in somewhere when we arrived there was water all over the floor and a bloody rag and I went you know what we stay because I've seen the Florida project and it's good to see both sides

of the state I was enchanted we went to Walgreens and we got khakis for dinner and I'm going to locked the door twice and I was like, I'm thriving. Okay. Taki's the Crisps. Yes. For dinner. Yes.

They were more foiego. Like tacos. Spicy and sweet. Crisps. They're all kind of round crisps. Yeah, Gwyneth didn't like it. Why would you stay in a place that's flooded with blood on the floor? Because I was enchanted. You were hoping something bad would happen to you so you'd have a story.

Well, we, you weren't bad. I was like, Catherine would not let me stay here. You were trash. That's like, that is comedians. in 101 it's like I don't have a boyfriend and I haven't had a recent trauma so I'm going to say we stay in case somebody tries to be mean to me and then that's an entire Edinburgh premise let's go well Gwyneth had booked it and it was called monumental movie land and I was like that sounds monumental so like let's do it and she's like I don't know why it's like half the price of everywhere else and I was like I don't know either but maybe you just found a bargain and then we arrived and it's like oh I know why this is not good heavy lean on the men but let me tell you everything Okay, we arrive in Disney World Okay, oh that wasn't you telling me everything? No! Okay, we're getting into it.

We arrived at Disney World first day. On the 5th of January, flew in. Right, right, right. The morning of the 6th, I booked us into a Winnie the Pooh breakfast buffet at Crystal Palace at 8.30 a.m. Charming, okay. 8.30 a.m. Yes, well, it's good to get in early for breakfast

because then you get more time with the characters. Is everything honey themed? No. What? What do you mean honey themed? Oh, like Winnie the Pooh. No, that's his food. We mustn't eat it. Right, okay.

Yeah. Oh, fair enough. Had a coffee from a woman who'd worked there for 26 years, and boy, did she look every 26, although 26 years. Oh, my dad. Like, she'd worked there. Wow. I met all the Winnie the Pooh characters. Wasn't there a Disney Worker Strike just after you left?

Why did you keep saying Workers' Strike? But wasn't there? Andrew, could you please Google that? Disney World. No, they were very happy. No, it's awful working in Disney. The pay is really low in Disneyland. No, I don't think so.

They were loving it. Disneyland. Disneyland. It's Disney World. It's Disney World. Disney World, it's different. Disneyland. The workers all get treated really well.

Disney World. Sorry, okay. So, go on. I went on every ride. The only downside of Disney World is I could not meet a princess and it go well. Like, I'm putting it out there.

Bell's a fucking bitch. No, I'm sorry. Gwyneth filmed this and it was on your Instagram but it seemed like you were the problem. I went in to hug her and she went. Yeah, but you're... Like I was. going to hurt her. I understand she's a

petite woman and I've got a bigger frame and it might seem threatening. But I was so smiling. You pound it over there with your like heavy flat feet. You breathe really heavily. I've got a condition I breathe through my mouth. Yeah. And like your eyes needed too much. They meet kids who are dying all the time. Yeah, but those kids don't look at them like they're aroused. You looked aroused

and like you might like steal them. It's like a kidnapper vibe. I wasn't around. You're obviously aroused when you go in there. You are. It's the only time. It's really weird. I don't like it and I didn't like watching it actually. Are you serious? You think that's on me? I felt like you were the problem. I was excited. But that's also bad. Like you can't be

that excited. She shouldn't have shut it away from me. I paid my entrance. I deserve a cuddle. I deserve a cuddle. Yeah, but I think even saying that, right, no one normal's like walks into someone's workspace and says, I deserve a cuddle. I do it all the time, all the time. Yeah, and people have asked you to stuff going to their workplaces. I just think it's an intense.

vibe. Okay, well then I make Sleeping Beauty, who was a fucking cunt. I... What, Bell's a bitch and Sleeping Beauty's a cunt? Here we go. Stephen Beauty's a victim. She's been absolutely harangued her whole life by people. She didn't want it, she shouldn't have put a finger on that needle. I'm sorry, I'm anti-princess. I'm anti-princess now. I like Tigger. I like Winnie the Pooh. I like Eeyore. I like pigler. I like any character you can't see their face. I, the princesses can go fuck themselves. Stuck up fucking bitches. Do you not think that under the mask they've also giving you the same face?

No, they were enchanted by me. I could feel it. I could feel it. It's right. Sleep of Beauty, I'd had a bad meet with the princess and I was like, this one's going to be different, right? So I really... She's had a lot of non-consensual touch.

You coming in is not going to make her feel safe. Fuck off! I'm just saying, Sleeping Beauty has had a tough life and then here comes you. You know what I deserve a cuddle? All three of you have lost your Gifties now because of Catherine's attitude.

And it's a shame that as her friend, I have to yell at home, and she's in this mental health state, but you can be fucking put in a corner Oh, you look so cute, though. Thank you. You get your gift. I give me your gift.

Okay. Sorry, Helen. You're okay. You don't feel well. You don't feel well. Didn't your gift now? No, come on. Okay.

So Sleeping Beauty, I was like, staying to all these Americans in the queue, or Yankees. What's up, local culture? And I was like, oh, I really want to meet a princess and how it go well. So I met Sleeping Beauty. And I was like, oh, I just really want to have a princess hug

that doesn't feel like super awkward. And I was like, can we give it a go? And she went, we can try. Ah! She is a bitch. Okay, take it back. We can't change. You can fucking try harder.

Try harder. I've flown a long way to be here. Cuddle me. Did you say that? No. You get, they're so beautiful. Did you say something about like how your mom didn't hug you enough or something? No, I don't think so.

Did your eyes? I panicked. You said it with your eyes though. I, yeah, probably. Yeah. It's hard to meet a character whose face you can see and not freak out. We should have practiced more. before I went.

Yeah, because that's so fair. It was easier when they were in a distance or in a parade and you could just be like, Pocahontas, you're amazing. But like, if I was face to face with her, I'd be like, I don't know what to say. It's like star-struck. Sorry about the appropriation maybe or...

What appropriate. Oh, in Pocahontas, right. I thought you might think of beauty and I was like, come on that. No, yeah, Pocahontas. Oh, she had an awful time of it. Yeah, no, for sure. For you.

Gravesend. Terrible stuff. Hey, listen, I know, the worst thing that's going to happen to a person is to go to gravesend. Are you ready for your gifty? I think so, but wait a second. I have questions. About Nashville.

About the whole experience. Okay, yes. Did Gwyneth enjoy it? Yes, I'm sick of people asking this. Did she? Okay. We were getting like daily messages from Soneil being like, how's Gwyneth doing? Is Gwyneth okay?

I will say this. Gwyneth put a brave face on it. On the early morning, get up at 8 a.m. You're in the park until close four days in a row. Like, she lost the use of her feet by the end of it. That was her step count every day. About 28,000. Holy shipples.

Here's my second question. Apart from Miss Queen, it's okay. What's the best thing you ate? In Disney? Yeah. Oh my God. Okay, there were these cheeseburger spring rolls that were like literally incredible.

Wait a second. I need to go back. Spring rolls that have cheeseburgers inside of them. Cheeseburger spring rolls and it tastes like a Madonna's cheeseburger. And that was moi tasty. Moi tasty. We would also like to apologize for the appropriation.

Moy, isn't that very? I think... I think also the spring roll cheeseburger. Oh, no, it's fusion. It's Asian fusion. Bless you. But yeah, I can see what you did there. Asian fusion food.

Third question, thank you. I had a Mickey Waffle with... It's not colonialism, it's fusion. Oh, the best... Northern Ireland? Fusion. I, okay, I had a lot of snacks. I was really tripling down on them.

Okay, tell me. I'd say best sweet thing I had was a doll whip, float. which was like a rum, like pineapple juice drink with pineapple dollwhip on top. What's doll whip? Like pineapple ice cream, but like very pineapple. It was incredible.

Okay, fuck, that sounds amazing. I loved it. Okay, that actually sounded really good. And in the, like, African Pavilion at Animal Kingdom, they had this, like, corn on the cob on a barbecue with spices all over it. And they'd been dipped in butter. That was life-changing.

I had that and then went on a safari. That sounds phenomenal. A group of zebras is called it. called a dazzle. Any other questions? Please hit me up. That doesn't feel true. It's true. A dazzle of zebras. Is that what the man it was driving the truck said? Andrew. The workers haven't striped yet. They are just in union discussions. No, they're not. They love it. Because of the poor paying conditions. And because of the English women who keep visiting and screaming at them. Okay. And then hug me, but don't, right, don't, don't, don't wince at least. When you go into hug a princess, they shouldn't go.

So, like, give me an embrace. Can I just say that you push me and hit me so often that I do kind of go to defensive when you go to hug me too. That's different. You've got experience of me. Right, okay. What the fuck does the bell doesn't know me for madam? It's actually called a dazzle.

What? I wonder if it's related to dazzle camouflage as well. I don't think it is because he would have told me. In World War II, they like painted warships, zebra stripes so that it wouldn't show up on like radar or be seen easy. Whoa, we are learning. It's not all just a raffle. A group of giraff was called a tower.

What? Tower of giraffe. Check up, check up. What? Check up, check it. I learned a lot. This is the thing about Disney. And a murder of crows.

That's true. But you don't really see those on safari. It's a tower of giraffes. Thank you very much. A group of hogs is called. Um, podcast. Callum and Catherine. Trustee.

What is it called? What's a group of hugs? System, Wi-Fi's just being slow. Oh. I thought you said a system, and I'll say a system of hogs. That doesn't feel right. A tower of drama doesn't make any sense either, but I know it does, because they tower. That's all I got you, I got it.

Because they tower. A drift or a drove. A drift of hogs. A drift of hogs. Cool. I like both of those, actually. Hey, no, my third question, please. And I, okay, go on.

What was your best ride? Ah! By that I do mean, did you get fucked in the US of A? Oh, no, I didn't. Okay, but best ride? No. I don't think I wanked the entire holiday. Well, because you were making winners hang out with you every single time that I should hope you didn't.

We were so tired. She was there the whole time, I'm glad to hear. You didn't wank at any point. You know, there's always a shower break where one person goes to the shower and you quickly rub one out on the bed. Don't make out that that's like me being a freak. No, hang on. I thought it would make sense to me if you said you were going into the shower, locking the door and having the wank in there.

It does not make any sense to me that you are like, I should be done by the time she gets back. I'll just start on the bed. But she was in the room, she'll never to be walked back into. Different beds, though, so. Yeah, but she's going to walk back into that room, right? And I'll be there going, how was your shower? How was your shower?

Sorry, just running eyes. Hair all over the place. Paul's still playing in the background. Did you have a shower? Do you like to get me a princess? I hate you. Do you like to go me, Belle? I hate you.

Okay. Gwen is fine! I'm sick of saying it. She had a lovely time. Okay. She fucking loved it. And we went to Nashville and she fucking loved that as well. She loved all of it.

Do you see any good country music? I saw a man do a cover of Baby Got Back. So no. And so, Best ride, Rise of Resistance or Guardians of the Galaxy? Tell me. Okay. Guardians of the Galaxy is the best roller coaster I've ever been on. Also, like, brand, brand new.

So, like, obviously it's going to be amazing. It's so smooth. You sit on it. There's one of five different songs they play as you go around. I got, gum and everybody, do that conga. You can't control yourself very longer. And you start and you're sitting on the ride. It's actually quite catchy that.

And it's very good. Very good. Bron from Once Upon a Bronn said it's her number three favorite song on the ride. And that one of your video blogger adults, 50 people? Yes, once upon a braon. Yeah. She's a lesbian. There we go, Emma's happy.

Don't just point at him. She's a lesbian. Don't point out. Don't point at him and say she's a lesbian. Dopp it. You know. Yeah. Anyway, it's just an amazing roller coaster.

I really recommend going on it. And Rise of the Resistance, I'm not a massive Star Wars person, as displayed by the fact for a full day, my Instagram stories were just me walking around Star Wars land saying, live long and prosper. Me and Gwyneth thought it'd be really funny to ask. We were like, we had to wait for a ride for a person.

bit and I was like, do you want to just ask men who are wearing full-on Jedi robes to take pictures of us doing this? Like the Star Wars finger thing and we thought it was really funny but, okay, Star Trek, it was the same thing isn't it? No, but it's funny because of the joke I get it, no, yeah.

It's funny because you were doing the wrong kind of the thing in Star Trek thing in Star Wars land, yeah. That was the joke, yeah. And then but then we'd ask them to do it and a lot of very upset men with full on lightsabers. No. Oh no! No! No! Really?

And then we were just like... Wait, men were kicking off because you were doing fingering wrong? Because it's about time, am I right? But Rise of the Resistance is life-changing. It was so good. And I went on the Ratatooie ride in the Little Mermaid Ride

and I saw a fireworks show. You all I just scream we're making the noise on the Little Mermaid ride? We didn't scream on the Little Mermaid ride because it's a gentle ride. Oh, I do. And also, here's one thing that I didn't expect. Okay.

You got what I, because she lost her voice. Thanks Andrew. Fine. Forget it. Oh yeah. You've never seen The Little Mermaid. You what? Sorry for the benefit of the listener M. Just when I've never seen The Little Mermaid you fucking bitches. Why would you say that? Well I guess I should know she lost her voice because it's also like a folklore tale Yeah. It's a what?

It's a book by Hans Christian Anderson. All right. But sorry, why can't you? What haven't you seen it? What were you watching as a child? And me and Catherine are going to see a show tonight but you come to mine afterwards. And we'll watch them together. Okay. Have you watched any Disney films. Robin Hood. Oh yeah, of course.

We've been over there. That's the only one. You've just lost your gift. You've just lost your gift. Wow. Fascinating. Okay, so I... Gifty time.

Well, no, speaking of gifts, before we get into it. You did buy me a gift from Paris. Oh, no, I forgot. My point is this. She's furious. I'm honestly calm about it. You're struggling with your mental health.

You don't have to remember to bring me a gift. I'm really sorry. Despite the fact I called you and asked you to remember even though I was in America. Uh-huh. Also, so many comments. on your Instagram and Twitter were just like

oh good Helen Gifty time were they actually and you still didn't remember it pisses me up one time right I was with my brother

and my girlfriend and I remember this in the Christmas section in the Christmas shop walking along and someone's like oh amazing

watch you get Helen I'm like I'm on my own time I'm spending my I earned my money for me I'm just like so good

losing the shops with my brother but I go you are buying hell in something though right what is it come on show me okay you've all got gifties right i've learned from my mistakes maggies maybe not the route to go and the maggies that were there were tacky i just realized what i wanted to be what do you want it to be a key ring ah is that key okay one of you always say you wanted i need a key ring and it it reminds me of those really

enchanting shrek ones that you bought me with my letter on it does i have a seat This is actually a good gift That I will use I know I genuinely crushed it I've never been more proud of myself Okay close your eyes For your hand out Oh I don't

Don't touch me with your fingers though Okay I'll drop it Yeah I'll give you your Can I open? Yes Whoa Oh my God

This is so cute Cinderella Cinderella Aren't they beautiful We're gonna take a picture And put it on our Instagram So make sure you follow Trusty hugs

on Instagram. Do you love it? Aren't they classy? Ellen, I genuinely. I know. Actually, let me be clear, the first time ever enjoyed this gift you bought me. You know why? Because you

were really happy for me to get that Shrek H. I just love it. And you were like, it's very practical and it's a little bit of whimsy, but it's still useful. I love this. Woohoo. Also, it's going to be thoughtful because you know how I always am letting my girlfriends move in, so it's nice to just have my own key. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no.

No, no. Yay! No, you actually, you really didn't get anything from Paris. I can't look out as a joke or not. So I didn't, and I don't, I'm sorry. That's insane to me. But can I say, I say, can I explain?

I was going to buy something at Gardiner, which I know is lazy, but I was just like, I'll do my gift shopping there. When we got to Gardiner, there was a terrorist attack. And that's my problem? No. But I just mean like, it wasn't like a shopping line.

So the terrorists took all the magnets. They won. They won, because I didn't get to shop. Oh my God. I think the point is I didn't get to shop and I'm sorry. Don't be sorry. It's okay because I'm going to France tomorrow. Are you?

I will get my own one. Yeah. What are you going for? Skiing! What's happening with you today? I keep blanking it out because it makes no sense. It doesn't fit with my narrative of you in any way to perform. What are you talking about?

So you're going skiing? Yeah. You've never skied before? Never. And you're bringing who again? France. Okay. And they can ski?

Yeah. No, no, they can't ski. Neither are. of us can ski but we can play in snow. So it's absolutely fine. And you're gigging. And I'm doing gigs, yeah. But you're going exclusively with comics who do ski? Apart from

Stephen Bailey. I found out Stephen doesn't ski and Stephen was like, the only thing I want to do is get us in a hot tub and just recreate real housewives moments. And I was like, that I will thrive in. And I got myself a new, oh my God, can I also do this quick shout out? Shopping in America means I can just buy clothes in the shop. God, that shouldn't be a fucking rare

profound thing. It was insane to the point where Gwyneth... That's so annoying. It even has to be a thing, but I'm thrilled he did. It's so annoying. But Gwyneth was like, Gwyneth likes vintage shopping and stuff and in Nashville, there's those of like different really cool vintage shops. And I was like, oh, cool, let's go look around them. And I was like, oh, look around, but there'll be nothing for me there's something. Of course. Because that's always... I got a jumper.

Why? In one of them. Like, I fitted one. I was like, this is insane. That's so nice. And the guy serving me sounded so Southern. Oh, nice. And I was like. And I was like, where are you from? And he went here. And I went, oh, that's a Nashville accent. And he went, no, small town. And I went, okay. That's so nice.

And then I said, I'm from Louisiana. And he said, no, you're not, lady. Yeah, yeah. No one found it as charming as I thought they were. Yeah, I get it. And so what other clothes did you buy when you're there? I bought a swimming costume. And I bought a nice skirt as well. And I bought about 10 different fridge magnets for people.

and shocking, I didn't do it for you. I'm really sorry that I didn't bring you a gift from Paris. I'll bring you a gift from the next. I'm going to Iceland next month. I'll bring you a gift from Iceland. Fridge magnet? Okay. Can I have two?

Yeah. To make up for Paris? Yes, you can. Sick. I'm going to two different parts of Iceland. I'll bring you one from both. One over ten pounds in price. Combined price? They can be over ten pounds? No. It's Iceland. They're going to be over ten pounds.

Okay, thank you very much. Can I have one that looks like a little trance of a little. Troll. Listen, I'll do my best. Okay. Should we bring our guest on? I think we should. I think we should.

I think we should absolutely. But anyone has any more questions about Disney. I know Catherine wants to talk about it over more episodes. So please do send them in to Trustee Hogs. Tell us about your Disney World Adventures. I haven't said that at all. I don't want that. Send in your best stories of meeting princesses or like different characters.

We'd love to hear them. In the extras, we'll talk about what we got for Christmas and how our Christmases was. Spoiler! Hellin' out of terrible day. I was alone. We also have an exciting update. on a problem in the case

Whoa, do we? Yes. Oh, I love an update. Who was the problem? Tell us so that they want to get the patron. It was about a potential upcoming engagement and whether to intend the engagement

or attend Trust Yog's Live. Yes. Oh my God, phenomenal. Okay, great. And please, welcome by wonderful guests. The Christmas! We've been nominated for the National Comedy Awards. The what?

The National Comedy Awards. You just got to go to national comedy awards. comedy awards.commody awards. If you don't know that already, what are you doing? Please vote for us. You must hope for Trustee Hogg so we can go to the event together.

It'll mean everything. Thank you so much. Enjoy the episode. Bye. It's the Christmas. It's the Crimson. Hi, boys. Hello.

You've brought gifts. for us. Yeah. It's no, Helen, you can't they walked in and said we've got gifts.

But can Ediths explain why he has a gift? Okay. I didn't have a gift. Okay. I was leaving my flat. Yes.

And then Shemima, my girlfriend. Shad Shemima, what's that babe? She used to listen to the podcast. Now she finds it too creepy because we hang out. Yeah. What?

She stopped just because we're a friend? Yeah. Because she was like, I know too much. Also because I... I know stuff that I then find out from talking. to helen later and i'll be like oh yeah i know that from your podcast or something so she was like

that's weird i think that adds a layer of excitement also because i create an argument between him and shemima last year for something i said on the podcast it turns out eddie had a full dinner with her and then went out with me i had another dinner i did a double big dinner and she didn't know no it was i think she didn't it wasn't an argument she was just like i had omitted the fact that i had another big dinner after because i was just like it was quite early on yeah you don't need And it was like in Paris, I don't know why, but I was a bit like, I'm not confident enough to explain. Like, yeah, I had two dinners. But then I didn't tell her.

And then she was like, why don't you tell me you had another big dinner? I was like, I don't know. I was shy. I was shy. You were nervous. I got shy and nervous. Okay, but so our past previous listener, but no longer listener, savage. But now friend.

Now friend. And that's okay. Okay. Live in your flat is your girlfriend. And she said, are you not going to give them something? She was like you should Thank you Shemima And I said well what

I don't have an And she was like Sometimes people give them chocolate Yeah I love her Sometimes people give them chocolate So give it you fucking freak Oh my god

Yes I love it I love a twirlie I love a twirl Thank you so much Adi I actually You couldn't have pulled a better pair of bars out of your pocket Yeah

I didn't expect them to be in your pocket They're a little warm But that's so nice avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start thumbtack knows home so you don't have to don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is with thumbtack you don't have to be a home pro you just have to hire one you can hire top rated pros seed price estimates and read reviews all on the app download today

it's a really warm please I really thought it was going to come out of the bag yeah no forget that okay thank you so much to Eddie hair chrism number one christen number two at Will Rowland okay so this is my gift my new year's resolution did you bring a gift or are you just making up a gift because Eddie so Eddie message me saying I Shemima told me that and to bring some chocolate well that's that can be from both of us if you know what I've got my own good so basically my resolution is for January I'm not eating any sweeties.

So you haven't made yourself? I haven't made it myself. I spent New Year's. Why? I told you on New Year's. I shouted it at midnight. Yeah. Happy New Year's.

I'm not having any sweets unless I've made it myself! So, I brought you some of the sweet that I've made myself, which essentially what I do. I don't know if I like that. You won't eat it. I'll eat it. Rather than eating chocolate bar, what I do is I melt the chocolate bar. I will melt the chocolate bar. bar, put nuts in it, put it in the freezer. Five minutes later, I'm eating chocolate bar.

But I made it myself. And it's got raisins. Was it like a picnic? You just made a free of nutt bar. Oh, wow. So I think it's nice. But wait, what kind of bar have you melted down? I've melted down a lovely 70% dark chocolate Montezuma's.

Oh, okay. Jesus. Hello. That's actually really nice. That's for me. And this one's for you. I won't it. Thank you so much.

Thank you to the fancy chrisid. Yeah, that is fancy. Fancy chrissid. Should we rate the chrisids? Yes. So I am prioritised nobody having touched my chutz. Yeah. So you're not going to weed that.

No, I might. I'm going to go with my votes for Eddie and you. Thank you so much. I'm going to vote for Will. Yeah. For the explanation. And this is more from Shemima. and it is Eddie.

Interesting. You paid for it, but that's like two for a pound, isn't it? Yeah, but you get like 20% more than she does. Moneywise, from comedy, you get 20% more than it. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. I'm going to say my favorite chrizzard is Will Rowland. I choose Eddie. Okay, thank you to the chrisids. Thank you so much for coming on. Hey, thanks so much for coming in, guys. Very nice to meet, you know.

I've actually got a little gifty for you too as well. So obviously, I don't touch my chocolate. Thank you very much. That's Will's job. I buy people, And you have both given me magnets over the last year, Maggie's, and I appreciate it. I was in Nashville, and I got each of you a Maggie.

They're matching. Wow. No, no, I did. You shouldn't have. I did say I wanted one. No, thank you. Oh, look at these. They're actually amazing.

Because the chrissets play guitars. We play guitar. Do you love it? I love it. They're actually amazing. $6.99. Don't read the price. That's so expensive.

But it's worth it because it's a quality, Maggie. And for the smiles on our face. And plus Will spent like 24 pounds making that job for what he made himself. They're homemade, the homemade. I don't think you can call that like a... Is this why Sunil's doing his no-sugar diet? Is he doing a no-sugar?

Yeah, he does what you guys do because he wants to be... That's lovely, Eddie, yeah. That's very special. Oh, there you go. Senil's gone on a mad diet as well. Has he? Yeah. Is it a mad diet?

Oh, he's going to add calories to a chocolate bar that pre-existed. That feels mad. No, I think it's lovely. Not so good for you. And hey, listen, there's no judgment. Food doesn't have to have a moral value. And it's good. And it's an activity as well.

And it's nice. Do you like it, Helen? I made it for you. Is it nice? No, why? Do you want to change your vote about the favourite quiz? Why isn't it nice? He's made it himself.

It's so bitter. It's bitter. It's dark chocolate. I love dark chocolate. I love dark chocolate, to be fair. I do love it. I touched it so much. I touched every nut before I for the minute.

Okay, thank you so much to the chrissons. We appreciate it. How are you guys doing? You thriving? Thriving. I'm thriving. I'm surviving. No, here's my question.

You're in a double act? Yeah. Okay. The last double act we had on, we could only get one of them on because they don't like to do PR together. You guys chose to... We had shelf on off there, Brittany. Shelf, my apologies.

Shelf seemed too amped about being in a double act. Do you seem less than enthused about being a double act? Brittany won't act as a double act in public. Really? Really? Yeah, so my question remains, what made you get into a double act? Here we go. It's the love story of all.

It was Will's idea. We did... And you like it. And I like it. And I'm so glad. It was a good idea. It was a good idea. It's like those bignettes in when Harry met Sally.

A man being like, she was the most beautiful girl. And everyone fancied my friend Pauline. Yeah, exactly. But you met a uni, no. We met at university. And then we did a road to play sketch show. We wrote a sketch show.

Crab salad. Crab salad. How do you know that, you love? Helen actually came to see it. My friend Lee Smeek was, is an actress even. We worked together in a cafe. Right. And she was in their sketch show in Edinburgh.

Yeah, we did a university sketch show. But no one wanted to be in it. No students wanted to be in it. No students desperate for any opportunity to act. We wanted to be actors, like begging just for something to do with their day. It was like a new, it's because it was like a new comedy society at the uni that no one really cared about. So it was like the drama society was like the one everyone wanted to be in. Everyone wanted to be in their plays.

Yeah. So when we were like, hey, who wants to come to Edinburgh to do this sketch show we've written? let's get into it what uni was it UCL nice uni you'd expect that to be a good comedy society there we set it up in a way yeah one of them

anyway we couldn't get anyone the point there was like a beating comedy in studio oh for fake you're trying to be a free we were like a comedy startup and like most startups

it went terribly you never hear about the ones that don't go well but let's have it last now it's time but you know casting Cool Pro, you heard of that? Yes.

Yeah, so that's where we met Lee's. Passing called pro is amazing. Have you never heard of it? Wait, you had to hire professional actors. It's like Gumtree directors. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck you're paying out of pocket for people who aren't students at UCL?

We couldn't pay. We couldn't pay. And were they were up front about that. Were they students at UCL? No. No. They were recent, they were recent drama graduates. They were like drama graduates.

Yeah, looking for their big break. They were 47-year-old men. Yeah. Like, yeah, I have us somewhere free. they were people and then and then they we were like hey come to Edinburgh with us we won't touch you we can all live together and then lease was like

no I'm not going to do that I'm going to live with my boyfriend and we're like oh okay but we've actually already signed a lease to rent a flat that includes a bedroom for you and she's like well I can't afford that so then we were Airbnb being out one of the rooms in our Edinburgh flat to a succession of tourists from the far east The producer was so stressed Because he was basically a landlord

As well as producing or failing Edinburgh show We're still really good friends with that Because the guy who was the producer He was 19 And he was just Most of his time was spent organising this Airbnb Dealing with complaints

He's like, hey the shower's not working Could you? A lot of improv in the living room actually He didn't like that very much Did the tourists from the Far East come and see crab salad though they didn't

no they didn't you couldn't even fire the guy it felt like you know we've got two businesses going on we don't want to mix

yeah no don't mix business we got like our property heads on and then of course okay so that was

the first and now you've been many acclaimed shows since yes well last year yeah

yeah and this year hell and this year this will be the year this will be the year yeah and so you are

um And so now you're taking a show to Soho. We're taking our show to Soho Theatre. First time there. We're very excited. And you don't have to lease anybody a room to stay in. You can just do the show. We can do that if we want some extra money.

I think we might be living together. Fabulous. And I lived together with Will last year. Yeah. Oh, please don't talk about Edinburgh this year. It's too far ahead. We have to. We must.

We must. We must talk about it. Okay. So your show this year at Soho Theater is called? It's called Cowboys. Cowboys. And it's on the 26th. to the 28th of January.

At the Soho Theatre. At the Soho Theatre. And what's it about? It's about Cowboys. It's a Cowboys. So it's got lots of songs in it. It's set in the Wild West. Is it a proper Western?

Hmm. It is. It is. I saw it and I felt like I was in Montana. That's how it felt in the crowd. Assembly Garden. It's like, it's in a generic Western setting.

Fabulous. But then we're also ourselves. in bits. Yeah, and we also play ourselves. I can't wait to see it. This is so exciting. It's a great fun show. Did you not see in Edinburgh?

No, I'm so excited. Oh my God, it's so good. Thanks for, well, thanks in advance. And you're going to sing songs? Yeah, there's ten songs in there. My favorite song? Is there a shootout? Quick sound.

Is there what? A shootout? My favorite part of a Western? There's a shootout. Oh, I'm in. Okay. Annie Saloon Doors? It's all indoors, yeah.

Did you say it is it all indoors? And it's all indoors? It's all indoors? It doesn't any saloon? It doesn't even matter. I don't have to go outside. I don't even have to go outside. No, I said any saloon doors?

No, there was interest. Well, interestingly, there was a saloon scene, but we got rid of it. Oh, no. I'm happy to reveal that. Isn't it? It's a loose face. Yvonne. Trustee Hoggs.

You heard it here first. It's really exciting. Okay, cool. I always think if I was in a double act, I'd do something like you guys do. Like, pick like a really strong sort of theme and just pretend to be something the entire time. Like, I don't know, like, like, like, be it like a dog. Do you know what I mean? I call the show.

like dog kennels and then it's just like me and like my double out partner playing those of different dogs than the kennels. Would Catherine be your double act partner? No no no she would not know the wrong sense of whimsy we wouldn't mash because you guys are high energy and low energy it's because you're both so mental um no I don't know

which one of high energy neither I'm the crazy one I don't know who my double app partner would be I would like Can I say there's never been anyone less qualified to be in a double act than you? Really and I say that as I'd probably come second Neither of us could be in a double eye. Where's that coming from?

Babe. When somebody doesn't look at you and you're the only person on stage, you have developed a verbal tick whereby you get down to the eyes of that said terrified man and scream, look at me! Now imagine they were supposed to be looking at somebody else. But if you need like a fart break or something like that, the other person can take over. Exactly.

And you just need someone who matches you. What's a fart break? You know when you're on a stage you need to fart and you're like, I wish not everyone was looking at me right now so I could have a fart break. Have you ever done it where you know that the audience can hear it? Like the front row might have been. I know. I always think they can hear it but really, if I ever talk very, very lively on stage or farting.

If you ever talk very, you're always talking very lively on stage. I get very gassy on stage. Are you farting the whole time? I'm farting now. I've definitely farted so not noisily but smellily. Yeah. The front row visibly reacts. But do you look at one person in the front row and go, do that not funny you?

I don't know if you've done that in the chrisons. It's not happening. It was not that I've noticed. It's when I was a beginner comedian. Yeah. I didn't have a lot of jokes. You're always far in your first year. It's like five minutes.

You can't hold it for five minutes? No, because you're so nervous. I was so nervous and I'd had so many beans. Yeah. I had so much ruffage. My comfort food, beans. It was actually. Wow.

It was at all. Your, um, Will's first stand-up set was about beans. That's true. It was really good. Why do you know that history? We started an open mic together. Then it was about pumpkins. Yeah.

I was trying to change my diet. Oh God, I can't wait to hear your sad about homemade chocolate bars. It's going to be fire. Can I tell you my idea for the doublet show then? Yes. Okay, so dogs are yours. Mine. But you don't even have a partner and you're not in double-act.

And these are an actual double-act here to tell us about their actual show that exists. But I'd like to hear what they think about my idea. Yeah. The one you just came up with now that you've already personally invested in. Yeah. All right. Okay. So like we play a variety of different dogs in the Ken.

from ones who have just arrived to a hundred of things and get picked up the next day. It's like one that's been there for 200 days and it's definitely about to be put down and that's your jeopardy throughout the show is like will they get a doctor or will they get put down? And then we can have like keepers coming in like dog house style

and then we can have like we could play fleas at one point to get a bit meta if that's what meta means and yeah that's the show and it's called dogs with a Zed which and it's me and Miranda Hart. Wow. There we go. That's my double.

That would be a good double-nage, actually. Nice tall ladies from Hampshire. Just falling over. Yeah, just like, whoopoo, woof, woof, woof. Like, yeah. And then one of the dog is, like, really sexy to the point where the audience are like, oh my God, am I into bistiality? And it's like, no, you're not.

I'm just like, really fair. Which dog are you? I'd like to be one with all the nipples. Oh, and is that. A mama dog. A mama dog, but who hasn't bounced back. Is that the one that's been there for ages or the one that's... No, she's thriving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just like, like, nipples. from up here all the way down In your professional opinions? I think the nipples think could be an audience participation. Like milking?

They milk. They milk the dog? Yeah. Ellen the dog. That would be nice. Probably a kids show then really, isn't it? We're now thinking about it.

It would be good because then it's educational. If I did it like midday at the weekends. You would? Yeah. Have you ever had kids come to see your shows because people think double X are supposed to be like for families? Oh yeah.

We did have a 10 year old boy coming. He loved it. an old Edinburgh show that we did Powerpoint based Was it appropriate? It wasn't, was it, Eddie? There was a bit about

Rimming in that Yeah, really racy stuff His eyes were so wide He loved it though He loved it And then his dad was like Don't worry

He loves that sort of thing Rimming No we didn't We're just like The kid just loves a bit of blue The you know Were you pro or anti-rimming Are we?

Were you in the show? Pro, pro, I think. It was rimming neutral, the show. Yeah, we didn't have a strong opinion on that, but we just, we just, we, I think anyone would feel comfortable. Do you remember how it came up? The rimming? It's in, well, it's a bit hard to explain.

Try. We did a segment about whether you should be vegetarian or not. Okay. It was to do with myth-busting, and then we were myth, we were myth, we were myth, bucking and then we were myth fingering and then we were myth wrimming by the end of the show yeah that feels pro-rimming yeah because it's like an active

but all the judgmental as if like they're like in the escalation they've made it the most extreme it's like stripping away myth artifice yeah rimming's a good thing I saw this show Edinburgh Fringe gang you heard it here you heard it here first the epicenter of the arts

but we would always try and get the parents and not bring the children in but they would always I think once Yeah we would say Are you sure about this like yeah yeah They're not like

I'm not moving In Edinburgh There's so many grown men Being like Bring your kids in here That I think I'd be like Comforted by the sight of two Who were like

No don't bring I'd be like that seems safer Yeah Yeah Yeah It's like it is reverse psychology Yeah Interesting

Okay listen Do you ever help each other With your problems Yeah Yeah I don't even know how male friendship works Or indeed how men work It works

It works. Yeah. We've been friends for a long time. We've been friends for over 10 years and we had many problems. Had many problems and helped each other with many problems over the years. Who's better at advice? 50-50. That means, Will.

I think Eddie's really good with advice. We try to, it's hard, you know. Advice is hard. Because different people have different ideas of what's helpful, isn't it? Who's a better listener? Getting to know. You're both very good listeners, actually, I think. I think we're both good listeners.

I think we both have the same short. I think my shortcomings, I think my shortcomings in the past have been thinking, not specifically, beginning, sometimes being like, oh, something I think is a useful solution to a problem that a person might not find useful, you know, but I have learned that. Yeah. Do you learn in the same way that I do where I'll be like, oh, what about yoga with Adrian? And then Helen screams at me and then writes an entire show about how she hates yoga with Adrian. That's not how that happened. Is that how that happened? That's not how that happened exactly. That's an exclusive. I'm like, this is a really helpful thing for my mental health. She'll be like, that's not only is that stupid. It's so stupid I should talk about it on stage.

True that. I still think that we could give a problem a go and we could see how the chrisids do. Okay, let's find out which of you is better advice. I think we're both good at giving advice and whoever has a problem we'll be able to help them. Yeah. Let's do it.

Andrew, give us a really tough mental health eating disorder one. These boys are ready for a female specific issue. Let's hear some lady problems. Give us teenage girl drama. I wish, I've loaded up another one, unfortunately, but we do have a huge backlog of very intense ones. Oh my God, let's do an intense one for the extras, then. Let's do an intense one for the extras. Okay, great.

Come on. No judgment to the person's problem who we all inevitably really have. Oh, no, no, it's incredible. We love and, like, you know we like intense. Yeah, yeah. No judgment here. Hi, I'm C. Hi, C.

I'm turning 13 and I've always struggled with saving money. Oh, dear, your world's ending as well, you're turning 13. You've got no money. You've fun already. It's not too bad. Don't worry about it. I'm disabled and my disability stops me from working. Great, well done.

I just said that before I found out that. I could have stopped you because I knew that I was coming, but I'll let you go. No, damn it. My disability stops me from working, so I'm already on a limited budget. Damn it, see? I'm good at finding cheap deals and shopping around for bargains. That's not the problem. But I'm struggling with how to come up with a budget that works for me that I can stick to.

Okay. My problem is that I start with good intentions, but always end up spending what little savings I have and frivolous crap that I probably don't need. so do either of you have any advice as to how to find a budget that works for me how to start saving money not wasting money sticking to budget on this note

and I don't count this as frivolous crap but I have just up my Patreon to notion to £10. That's your first problem That's the first cut that What the fuck you guys? What the fuck? Any budgeting advice for sake?

Let's let the quizards help. Okay, I'd be interested of this because I've seen both of you get frivolous pets. But also, Helen, but also men have all the money, so let's find out what they're doing. I don't know. I don't know. This is a tough one.

I think I'm notoriously love spending money. I'm not good with... I go through phases, but I do love buying expensive things. I believe in the Aristotelian virtue of magnificence, which means it makes you a good purpose. to buy magnificent things so like if you pay an artisan to make you a fantastic table that's actually a moral that's like morally good because you're like helping somebody yeah and I find that is a wonderful way to justify buying whatever you want as long as you're buying it so I think

it's just important give us that phrase again aristotillian aristotelian virtue of magnificent is that really what it is if you buy magnificent things then you're magnificent yeah it's the idea I think I do believe in it so like it's it's not It's not magnificent. I think I believe in it. This is like the difference between these chocolate bars. It's not magnificent to buy a twirl. But Helen doesn't like the chocolate.

This tin-boiled, bundled piece of chocolate is magnificent. It's Aristotelian. But what if you prefer a twirl? Wow. Here we go. You can prefer a 12, but it's a less good way to spend your money. Like, that's why I believe going to independent shops and spending. So, just to circle back on the helping the person who's on the limited budget with the land fly.

Say your resources are limited. My resources are very limited. They are very limited. He's in a double act in comedy. You're splitting that fee. Yeah. And there's no fee. Split the cost as well.

But when we travel, we both have to pay travel. Sometimes we're down so much on a gig. It's incredible. So. So. Your advice to this point, person is? Well, listen, capitalism is ruined society.

It has. I hope this person doesn't feel guilty about this problem because there's basically just not enough money for everything so expensive if this person is like might be receiving like benefits. There's so low, like it hasn't been put up enough. So I hope they

don't feel bad about it. However, practical advice, I think Eddie would be better at brilliant. Eddie's really good with money. I do think that's a really good starting point though, just like let's just, no beating around the bush, acknowledge that the system is broken and that we have an increased benefits in line

with interest rates or inflation. And that's also that the system is designed to make you feel like that's a personal flaw and not a trap that we will announce to keep falling into. So yeah, let's take the moral value out of this and stop saying, like it's not that you were a bad person or a fail to do something.

It's that it's a challenge and we will endeavor to help ourselves as much as we can, which is why we're going to go to twirl gay. Okay, thank you. um so uh yeah tricky situation uh right so uh oh seems to win in any other week any other week um so sorry um for the quality of this answer

I'm you a robot problem so sorry the problem you're having I believe in you anyway so if I may please if I may answer the question questions to build on what will was saying that don't feel guilty about your about about spending say 10 pounds on trusty hogs yeah it's a it's a good product it's magnificent

and it's right to you that's like a good person and that's yeah and you're not podcasting and you're not an evil big corporation I don't know I wish I would be I want to be absolute shit what was um is the name C yeah yeah see yeah see you're magnificent in not just my words but in the words of Aristotle as well and Will and

try to I guess when you're putting a budget together if you can it's really hard to stick to a budget if you have it if you don't build in something enjoyable try to build something

and so because I think whenever I try to be like I strip something back to the bare necessities it ends up being a bit joyless and it's actually very hard to stick to it because I'm realistic side. So I'd say try and build something that's enjoyable but maybe like

is, yeah. Oh, I've just thought of a really good principle. Here we go. Here we go. This is what really helps me. Do math. Rather than rather than rather than creating things that are all about not doing things, think about what you would

like to do more. Yes! Rather than being like, no more going to the cinema, I've got to spend too much money it's like oh i would like to go for to do more walks i would like to invite my friends over city i'd like to watch more films at home that are available on a streaming service that will mean that you end up saving money but by choosing what you want to do rather than replacing it with fun because otherwise you just feel it's it's really miserable having to to budget yeah i would also oh sorry no i completely agree and i think similarly having like a visible list of the things you're saving for helps me so

much just to be like why the fuck am I doing this is to be like and also to keep the list on the list of things that you've gotten like from saving which I think are good too is to be like oh I am happier to have that than three ubers you know that has actually made me

more joyful see I would personally go for not the Aristotle approach but the Plato approach which is we come into this world with nothing if you leave owing you've won so the trick is to absolutely cane it cane it into debt

and then when you die you can go fucking beat the system I left with debt and then you've won how do you judge the death debt collection

you just keep keep caning it and then death will happen keep changing addresses right yeah by the mafia

in this situation no no no no mafia just you know what can they do can I build on what Eddie said too though I think that

not feeling bad is good but I also think that thing about joy is important but I also think the main like that underneath

that is like be realistic as well like I think I'm so guilty of making budgets where I'm like I don't need coffee edge I'll never get do you remember last January when you were like I'm not having takeaway or yeah but I had way fewer takeaway figure but fuck it out

it was mental no but it's true it's an unrealistic goal and then I only feel like I failed and like I haven't budgeted for it whereas actually what I find really helpful is to go back and look what you're actually spending on and budget in real terms of who you really are not who you hope to be because you'll remain yourself. Also, haircuts, don't need them.

It's all a mess. It's all a mess. You can just, you can chip that yourself at home. Chip it. This, my long hair is a product of not having a lot of money. Yeah, fair. I bumped into my barber yesterday because he lives around the corner from me. He gave me a fist bump.

And he said, I'll see you soon. Because he just looked at my head. I was like, yeah, yeah. I don't need help with that soon? Wow, Savage. What a guy. He likes me, I think. He does.

He does. I always berate the people. that I like into giving me their money through social anxiety. That's nice. Stealing is something that we haven't discussed yet, but like that's always an option. I have two useful things. About stealing?

Not about stealing, but I was practical. Big puffy coat. Yeah, big puffy coat. Tinfoil. Oh good thing. And well, I got 175 pounds from doing a current account switch. Yes.

There's a really good idea. There's just like a small, weird, random things that you can just get out of like a hundred pounds or something and what helps I are you subscribed to the money saving expert yeah we love Martin Lewis it's genuinely great I think things like that are because of him I that I realize

I can get 175 quid from a current account switch I get also get 1% cash bank on all transactions with my chase account because of Martin fabulous what did you say about you'd like to say about Martin Lewis I do that you do everything he says I do everything he says

I do everything he says you have a thing you said I have a set out a bit where I say I would punch myself in the balls if he told me to. I trust him too much. Yeah, okay. That feels a little reliant. Well, I don't know because I don't know about finance, really. I think he says it.

If he says I should do it, I'll do it. That's fair. I don't think we've helped at all, but I think we've all tried our best. The problem is I'm really bad with money. I think all of us are. I think we're all a bit frivolous. I actually, if I may speak for Will and I, I think we have helped a lot. you guys

you two have phoned this one in and we have actually We're the problem We're the problem We're the case of life Wow Okay wow Thank you to the chrisids

On next week at the Soho Theatre 26 to 28th of January Yeah special guest Martin Lewis Book in advance Book in advance Boys and thank you for your brilliant advice Your show is called

Cowboys So it's a theatre 26th to the 28th What time? Quarter past 10 at night And that's a crazy crazy good time for us You didn't say that at the beginning Interesting.

You'll be there, you'll come. Of course I will. Of course I will. Is it like a Thursday to a Saturday? It's a Thursday to a Saturday. Fine, fine. Quarter past 10's no time at all. Should you be back home and half an hour?

It's fucking amazing. I saw her at Edinburgh. I went with loads of comedians and we were all just losing our fucking shit. That's the thing you should know about the Quizzards. They are very much like a comedian's comic act. I love how you're saying that so carefully. Yeah. The comedians fucking love them which says a lot of good stuff.

That's what I'm trying to say. It's such an endorsement when there's an act that loads of acts go to. Yeah, because no one sees me and Catherine. That's what I mean. And whereas, like, why would they? It's like screaming. They could just have that on the street. I like, I like you guys.

Yeah, but you wouldn't see you. Oh, it's not made before. You're coming here. You wouldn't go see the show because you can just hear us do the show at each other in a coffee shop at any given time. You don't need to see the show. It's the same. It's just like, there's less crying, I guess. But I do think ultimately, comedians go to see you guys because you're brilliant at what you do.

So I'm excited to see the show. And I think everybody else should go see you. Thank you. To the prison. Thank you. Thank you for coming on. So here are our top-tier hog sluts. It's our executive producers.

Thank you so much to Guy Goodman, Simon Moores, Mary Fox, Annie Turner, Sarah Hockey Deakin and Oliver Jago. Thanks, you. Let's roll up. Let's roll up some shit. Now let's get down to our producers. Our piggies running around the side, farting on each other. Thank you so much. And a big hoggy to Richard B.

Bicknell L, Richard Bold, Neil Redmond, Victoria Hutchison, Emma Walton. I can tell you're upset by this, Catherine, keep going with the energy. Karen and David Bull, Harold Van Dyke, Tim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel R, Anthony Conway, Sadie Cashmore, Claire Owen Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Sarah and Molly, Rye, I think I crushed that, Cordelia, Rachel Page, Helen A, Tina, Lindsay, Graham Marsh, Emma G, Amy O'Reardon, Abi Voff, and our new, Little Piglet, it's Key Webb. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much, all of you. And again, truly sorry about that.