Trusty Hogs - Ep7. DARREN HARRIOTT / Fruit, Fashion & Frubing

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

Darren Harriott joins the Trusty Hogs for a lovely conversation about fashion in comedy, creepily over-detailed Wikipedia pages, and the true crime genre renaissance. The chat was so fun that it actually spilled over into the extras, so if you'd like to hear more of Catherine & Helen's chat with Darren, go to patreon.com/TrustyHogs and join the Uber Hogs today!Thank you so much for listening! Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more! Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] Please give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socials Be sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy GoodmanPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / SBDubz / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen Bull / Harald van Dijk / Kierah Leach / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Lee Myerscough / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Kim Dubhghaill / Jess & Nick / Zoë Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, how are you? Welcome to episode seven. Now, we're having to do an extra intro to this because I'll be honest with you, we didn't do a proper intro on episode seven. I honestly don't know how we're going to discuss this. I'll explain. I kindly, I think, brought in my payers from my odd box.

Correct. For the gang. Which was sweet. It was a nice tree, a nutritious treat. Yes. I brought them. I thought, let's have some pairs when we're between podcasts. Now, Helen ate one in a lady-like fashion.

and then she sneezed Andrew, am I getting this right? She sneezed with a mouth full of pear. Yes. And the pair ends up... And your mouth is open when you sneeze. Not necessarily compulsory. In general.

And then the pair ended up on her face, mainly in her eyebrow. I don't know what happened. The pair tickled something inside of me. And so we then went to... It hit the microphone, I think, or your hand... No, you hit your hand.

It looked like I was high-fiving my pair back into... Yeah. And then I tried to start the podcast, but I was so distracted by how much stuff was in your... Because I have such a peary complexion that the pear, it was really hard to identify what was pear, what was soggy, what was just skin? It was a nightmare. So anyway, we didn't do a proper intro. So this is it.

Welcome to episode seven. It's as disgusting as it sounds. I hope you enjoy it. I think it gets classy after that. It doesn't. No. Well, we had Darren Harrier on. We had such a good chat with him

It just kept on going I just said we had Darren Harriet on Also the chat Peters out at one point of fades And then you can get the rest of the chat on Patreon And it's patreon.com forward

slash trusty hogs Yes you can find us there And please do Because the rest of the chat with Darren It was really interesting And yeah let's And I don't sneeze at all in the extras I don't think, I don't know

We can only hope I guess I'll enjoy it's episode seven Yay! Through the fog. Step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems and they will solve them or maybe they won't

and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech. Oh, it's Helen and Catherine and the trusty hogs. Trust the trusty hogs. Maybe not. Don't.

Catherine! Oh my God. Jesus. What is the need? Just that lack of preparedness and I'm leading this episode. What is the need? So that was amazing.

What do you have in your eyebrow? Oh my God. I sneezed. Is it pear? I think it's bitter. Ah! It's so amazing. Yes.

I can't see it There's pear In your eyebrow Other eyebrow There's two pieces And one on your nose Oh What did I do that?

See on your nose Is he in the middle of your nose Bridge here Yeah And then Let's see your eyebrows Just a little bit there Yeah

Yeah you got all the pair In your eyebrow Tell you what If you're eating a pear And you sneeze You will all get splashback. I thought I'd contained it all.

Turns out it wasn't contained because I thought there was nothing coming out but it went straight back up to my... That reminds me of when I got so drunk I was jammed with this guy at party and it was that level of drunk where you're like oh we're really connecting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we're like kind of like opening about our charters but in the way that you do in your early 20s where you're like this means we're in love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of it being just like... Providing means we must have sex. A hundred percent. And then I was so wasted

that I was like really close to vomit time. But I also was old enough to believe that I was in control of when vomit time came. Sure. And we were chatting and I coughed. And I was like trying to cough like a little like like a baby bird. So I was like to put my hand up. I vomited with such force into my hand. I high five my own sick and it's right back into my face.

Hell and no. And you know when your brain goes, the show must go on. So I continue with the conversation while just like wiping myself down. Like, oh, so you're from Suffolk. No, no, no, no, you didn't. You didn't. Because it wasn't like a chunky, sick. It was a very liquidy, very liquidy vibe.

Only, just to be clear, you thought you were getting really deep and you'd gotten as far as you were from... No, no, no, no. Just to be clear, I had got deep. I had been like, I'm like, you know, like, my dad's never hugged me and, like, really getting into it. And then obviously, he hadn't had a chance yet. Because, like, when you're talking about your childhood,

it's all well and good until they start talking about their childhood. And it's like, we're not done yet. And it was just... I don't know. I think it's such a rare thing to high-five one's own sick. It kind of feels meta. Yeah, that is a profound twist on what is truly disgusting and basic A.F. I know.

But proud of you, pride that you've grown into the woman you have. But then to get to 30 and do it with pair. But you're just sneezing some pear on your eyebrows. You're basically, you've made it. Hello. Did Hollywood call? She's a star. She's ready to go.

She's a fully formed lady. You know what? It makes me super relatable and kooky. I think that's why the people are just sort of like, Helen's so relatable because like we've all sneezed pair into our face. Right. And that's what we want from our female comedians. Like we don't want us to be ambitious or strong or together,

even though we are together. We've got our shit together. We like to joke that I don't. I fucking do. Where'd you get the pair from my oddbox? From your odd box. What? I haven't.

But if we say that that we're together, people will freak out being like, how do we connect with them? So we've got to do things like, how do we adult? How do we walk down street without anything awful happening? and we have to be pathetic. So that's why I sneezed up that pair. My stand-up's really good.

That's so beautiful. Yeah, that's my main vein of stand-up at the moment. It's like, but like, what is, what is life, guys? Because all my friends are getting married. But the thing is not. I don't know. And I don't understand it. Because, like, what even is...

It's crazy. I don't think. Yeah, you're right. That's, I mean, pretty good stuff. Unfortunately, that is an entire brand of American stand-up comedy. Oh, she's been a little shamed. She's a little shamed a little bit. She's a little bit.

confused as to like how life works it's episode seven of trusty hogs actually well i think so but we've gotten the numbers wrong so many times i know is it seven Andrew oh the man checked yes episode seven that's really sad that is so sad that we had to check with Andrew check you asked you're asking me Andrew are you eating another orange don't you dare shame him no I want him to eat it I want him to eat it I'm glad oh that's good no my point is True, little hint here, if you feel a sneeze coming on whilst you're eating that orange, don't put your hand up, just literally go straight out over the laptop. I'm not going to have hay fever because it's not real. Oh my God, Ellen's going to flip the lid.

So Andrew doesn't think a hay fever is real. Both Helen and I have hay fever, so we beg to differ. And I am what I'd call an OG hay fever sufferer as far as I had it before everyone got it. Like dyslexia, you know how like there's people who have it and there's people who suddenly got it in their 20s and got a free laptop. But it's like, you managed to get into uni, so it's clearly not that bad. So you know that people with dyslexia can get into uni because you can be intellectually, completely. I know, but I always assume that everyone's dyslexia is the same as mine,

which means academically cannot perform full start. Oh, okay. That's just why I assume, like no one can read. How do they read the exam questions? How? I mean a lot of, okay. You know what? We don't have time.

This is episode seven. How? Welcome to episode seven of Trustee Hawks. Thank you for being here. Thank you for coming back. Remember when you're sneezing or you feel a vomit coming on, hands down, let it out. Straight out.

Wow. Straight out. I mean, it depends on the context and maybe go to something that we'll receive. Carry a tissue. Yeah.

Also, if you're Helen, carry a tissue at all times. I know, but I was making a point with a sneeze. You were, but also it's kind of cute

watching you pick a pair out of your eyebrow. Eyebrow and nose. Yeah, you know, you're kind of adorable. And for the, um, people watching on YouTube,

look to see there's any more pair in my face. If you find a piece, we'll send you a mug. Yeah. Well, we know we can't afford, we actually can afford

that many mugs too wiped down oh my god I'll pay for the mug if you find another piece on my face but it might be a spot I will tell yeah don't circle it

unless you're sure um circle of shame please Andrew's episode seven and actually you kind of touched on something that I did

want to talk to you about because um I know we're not exactly a serious part and I don't mean to get too serious but um are you okay oh I'm fine

no but you're talking about how like it's like how do you adult but I actually think like we've both been talking about this a little bit in our stand-up but I'm more like, how do you woman at this point?

I'm sorry to be this guy, but like, I'm so tired of feeling unsafe. Do you feel unsafe all the time? I go through waves of it. I wouldn't say that I'm constantly in a state of a lot that I feel like some people are, but I feel like I would benefit from being more in that state of alert. I don't know, it's a really tiring, tense place to be. It is. I am, the reason I know this, this isn't going to say really weird,

but I've been having really bad back trouble and really bad, like my foot my feet keep getting really really tense and I can't relax I can't unfurl and it's literally I think I'm just tense all the time from walking to and from gigs and being in the world and listening to like the amount of crap women are going through and then just being like I don't know how I don't know how to feel safe anywhere I think it's not like we're not safe at any time but with winter coming in it's darker a lot more of the time you do you're more aware of it 100% yeah we're going to gigs in the dark never mind coming back from this gigs in the dark and sometimes you're going very far out of town and you know you by yourself and I'm desperately trying to learn to drive because I think that will make me marginally safe for getting to and from tour a gig a hundred percent but I right I don't drive but I have this fear of it because do you remember this is like 15 years ago so you would have been really young Andrew and I don't know this thing in Ireland but we kept from getting told about I'd have been really young about about and I'd have been really young and I'd have been really young but like there was this thing

about like people leaving prams in the middle of the road so you'd stop and pull over because you think there's a baby and it moved to the road and then someone would get in your car and it probably happened once but the way that we were told it at school

made it sound like it happened a million times so I was like you had to run over the baby but it's a risk there's such a risk Ellen's like I'm just going to drive through the pram that fear that someone's going to get

in the back of your car it's like ghost stories but like they do happen why would you just lock your door and not run over the baby what do you mean why don't you just lock your door and then not run over the baby.

So get out, lock the door behind you, go and see if there's a baby in there. Well, yeah. And then move it to the side of the road. Yeah. But then happens if someone attacks you because they know you're going to stop. Or can you not drive around the baby?

I know, but then it happens if there is a baby in there and you've just driven around it. It's like, it's one of those... Have you ever hear about this? Yeah, it's sort of like the dead dog and the suitcase thing, isn't it? Have you drawn? What?

What? Was that thing like everyone's town has that story about like a, someone's dog died and then they put it in a suitcase and then they accidentally picked the wrong suitcase at a train station someone just had a same. No, nobody else had it. That's 100% just fleas. But just to circle back, could you do like a drive up to the prom?

Could you drive up and like lower your window and go, hey baby? Hey baby. Hey baby. So then you're cat calling a possible baby from your car. Hey baby, hey baby, hey. Hey baby, hey baby, hey, baby, hey, baby, hey. Borset, go see. Hey, baby.

Can you not just do that? Yeah, probably. But that was like a thing. It was a thing that we all heard about. Wow. And we were like, oh, shit. Okay, that's something to remember when we're learning how to drive.

But is the moral of your story that like... What do you do? Okay. What do you do? I don't know, but we haven't come... We haven't done that lesson yet. I don't know if I have a moral to my story. You'll probably do it like in driving theory exam or something.

I don't know when it comes up. Oh my gosh. I have that soon so I hope not. Okay. I'll let you know if it's on the theory test. I'll let you know what I decided in the moment. Do you imagine if it is and the question has that cassette into it? Like Helen Bowers walking down the street

in Fleet Hampshire. There's a pram. Driving, driving. Driving. Oh yeah, shit. Come on Helen. Give yourself some credit. You're right. You're right. So what I'm saying is that you're driving to be safer but you never know when there's going to be a pram discarded in the middle of the road. It's so true. And best thing you can do what we were told

is actually lock all the doors, call the police. Oh. But then also how much do we trust the pigs? Not at all. How much do we fucking trust the pigs? answered your own question there. Yikes. What about hailing a bus? So what you do is you stay in your car, you lock all the doors and you call your local stage

coach. Yes. Because that is the answer to all women's problems. Just hail a goddamn book. Holy fucking shit. But yeah, I know what you mean. I'm not feeling the safest, but I wouldn't say I live in a constant state of alert. Yeah.

But then it does give me a shock around again. Oh, shit. Like, fuck there's someone there. and I'm very jumpy, very naturally jumpy on the street. And I've seen people notice it because, like, if someone's coming up behind me, I'm like, ooh. See, I think I grew up in a household that was like, always be alert, always be terrified.

And this was before, like, I was an adult woman who was allowed out in the evenings. It was like, it was like, if you're going to an airport, there's going to be pickpocketers. If you go to the park, there's going to be pickpocketers. If you go to the shopping center, there's going to be pickpockers. If you are driving, anybody could stick their hand in the window

and grab your phone. If you are parked, somebody at a, red lights where you could open the door and grab your handbag if you are going swimming bring your things in a waterproof bag and just swim along with them in case somebody steals them from your locker

like it was an intense house. What's bad to me is that you grew up in that house and then you don't like true crime? I hate true crime. I do not understand your obsession with this. I actually don't understand how it's genius, right? So like women are the majority of the victims in these stories

that you see depicted on in podcasts and on television shows and I don't understand how we are also the biggest audience for it because it's like okay it's always us we're always the victims it reminds of how petrified we have to be at all times and also women tell me two things one that they listen to it because it helps them figure out what they would do in that situation yeah comfort of knowledge absolute nonsense right because you can't make yourself stronger than you are you can't plan your reflex yeah exactly right and but if anything it just makes me more petrified of even more scenarios in

which I should be scared but the other thing is it's like the world has gone huh male violence is inevitable. Female victims are ubiquitous and also inevitable. I guess we can never solve for the patriarchy. So what do we do? What do we do? Hey, why don't we sell the other women popcorn? And they can just watch. But that's what it is. And I don't know why I'm so into it. And there is a level of like comfort of knowledge. And I do feel like I have that as far as being like, okay, so like these things are happening and I am more prepared in that way. Also, like, it's that tragedy thing. I think we all seek it out in lots of things that we listen and watch.

Like, it's outsourcing tragedy. Isn't your life hard enough till you have tragedy in your own life? Life is tragic enough. Everyone's life is tragic enough. There's enough hardships in it. And there's something about seeking out something that's so removed from me

because I haven't luckily touched Wood had any murders in my lifetime. So it's like a removal from the fact that like my mom hasn't called me back in the week. You know? True trauma. It's the real trauma. I ain't sitting on murder podcast.

as I respect the genre. I love crime junkie. Oh, I haven't listened to it. It's the best one. It's run by Ashley Flowers and her friend called Britt. And every week Ashley tells her a story about like a famous murder or a murder that has happened recently. It hasn't had enough attention so she can get out there in the press.

And her friend always acts so shocked. She's like, and this is a story about so-and-so's murder. And Britt's like, no. And it's like, like, season 20 or something. And she's still just terrified every single week. I really respect the genre. I mean, as you know, I previously had a podcast about love. Yes, you did.

And relationship. Yes, you did. The audacity. One season. Because we broke up. What? And, you know, I think the smart woman banks on male violence and not their own love lives. You know, like it's a sensible genre that will go on forever.

No one's going to make those women wind up. So many stories. There's the ones from history. We'll never stop being murdered, it seems. So pretty reliable stuff. Never. Never. Also, I do, I will say this for the murder podcasts.

They are doing more of like recent stories which haven't been solved. And it does help get the word out there. Yeah. Which is amazing. I mean, I totally, I just, I personally can't listen to murder after murder after murder after murder after murder of women. I listen to it as I go to sleep. That is how I wind down from my day. To me, that's like, you're.

You're a psychopath. No, I know. But I read the psychopath test and I'm not. Their name. But like my girlfriend also watches these horrific, horrific documentaries. And then it's just like, should we make dinner? And I'm like, what is wrong with you? How does your stomach not like, is it not enough?

What are you? So I listened to the Amanda Knox. But don't you think it's made us immune to trauma? Crime junkie last night as I fell asleep. As I went into a soothing, restful night on my Simba mattress. But you don't think it makes us like weirdly immune to trauma. We're just like, yeah, that's the inevitable nature of being a woman in the world. Yeah, but I read Jacqueline Wilson growing up.

So I've always thought trauma as like my sort of like outsourcing thing. Jessica Wilson just made eating disorders seem so cool. Oh, bipolar moms. Oh, my God. Oh, being found in a bin at birth. Just like totally normal stuff. Yeah, sure. We should give that to the kids.

Find me in a bin, mom. Why did you have me in hospital and then keep me? Oh, what a bad mom. And I think it's the same with murder podcast. you're listening to them going like, no, I want everyone to be looking for me for a week. Helen.

I don't know what is wrong with me. So like, you know when you leave a night and everyone's like texting when you get home safe. Let me know that you get at home okay. Yeah. I mean, usually I'm the one saying. You say that. Track me.

I sit to my friends as well. I think it's a full reflex that we all have to be like, let me know that you are okay on your journey and text when you get home safe. We should have to have you should. I know I should. I know I should. However, have you ever just.

waited to see if they follow up and check in to see if they really care. Let them know you got home. Let them know. But just let's see how concerned they really are. So I have a couple of friends who are quite media savvy and like true crime. Hellen. Part of me feels like if I went missing, they're more likely to start a podcast called Where's Helen Bauer than they are to call the police.

Wow. And all I want to know is If they did that podcast, I think their first port of call wouldn't be the Uber or the bus that took me home, but it would be my local chicken shops to get CCTV. So they know you. And be like, oh, it's all blurry. We can't figure out.

Can we just see the receipts of order? Oh, yeah, no. That's 100% her. Five fillet burgers and chips. Did she say she was meeting people at home? Yeah, yeah. A hundred percent of her. Yeah, yeah.

That's our girl. No, you should message your friends when you go home. You should be safe. Yeah. Do test your friendships, though. Absolutely. That's my message. Oh, hey, and if you're a man listening to this podcast,

do better, be better. You can help improve the world. And I tell you what's also really annoying is that like we are scared on the streets and it's such a shame because walking home in the wintertime is such a fun thing to do when you're not scared.

You know, when you've got like headphones there and power ballad on and you're like in a fucking music video. Yeah, it should be. That should be one of life's pleasures and instead you're like half Celine Dioning it and then there's a shadow and you're like, oh, fucking die!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, I get that Celine's songs do add to the atmosphere. I would like to be walking along to Celine Dion and not have my possible murder happen until the song is finished. Right? Right?

Let's have a little music interval. Honestly. It's all coming back to me now. Murder. Break. And then let's come back in for a bit of Titanic. Is it too much to ask? But yeah, that's just been bothering me this week.

But I mean, it's bothering me every week. so kills the breeze. Do you have a tracker on your phone so your friends can see where you're at? No, but I'm so tired. I don't think I should have to be bloody well tracked. It's like the tediousness and the nature, the burdensome nature of which we're like,

women should solve for this. Like, no, I don't. And I don't know that it would save me if I did, but I'm like, I just want, also, you know what it is? I was walking to a gig yesterday, so I left my house at about... This advice is also for men,

please do get trackers in your phones and ask your phones to text them when they get home safe. Yeah, and make sure... It's not all just on women. Yeah. But so we, or don't get a tracker on your phone and just like, don't be intimidating on the phone. Tell you what you do need to have though,

which I've learned from murder podcasts. We all need to make an if I go missing file, which is like a little document which you should leave accessible for your housemate, which it just in case you do ever go missing, it has like all of your records on it, your passwords for things, your phone contract so they can easily find ways

because that's how people lose out in investigations is trying to like find out their details with their bank and all of that sort of stuff and like what were they paying where were they asked to use it you can leave that all in a file and leave it with a loved one or a housemate so that there is constant access to it

that's quite smart so also so people can see you like private messages and Facebooks and like all of that sort of stuff access to your dating apps because then because you've got like such a small amount of time oh it's not me it was a a podcast and I was like, yeah, that's a file.

You know what? One of the things you hear, that's a genius idea, I still haven't done it. It's been about a year. No, but like in the same way that like people keep telling us to save and we're like, yeah, okay, we'll get around to it. A hundred percent. But no, we actually probably should, but we should do that. Okay, interesting. I've got such an itchy nose. Also, maybe, I think it's talking about murder.

Maybe a reason to get you to make that file would be that you could also make a list of people you're willing to have make the podcast about your miss, you're being missing and people you're not willing to have making it. Like she put in writing, she doesn't want your podcast. That thing, if I went missing, I'd, I'd want someone like fun to do the podcast but I wouldn't want them to be like so much fun

that we don't do like a sort of like and she's still out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Helen, if you're listening to this, come home, honey. We all love you. Yeah. Whatever it is. Yeah.

We can fix us together. I actually think it would be great. Who? Sandy Toltsvick. Oh my God. No, is that what you were thinking? No, no, no, no, no, not at all. I was thinking Anne, Bauer.

My mom? Yeah. Could you imagine my mom doing a podcast if I were missing? Yeah, no, I could. I really could. I really could. I could imagine her. And it wouldn't even have my name and it would be called Am Bowers' daughter's missing.

Hosted by Ambauer. Special guest, my ballet teacher, Val. That's amazing. Whereas I feel like if I went missing, you would do the podcast. Whereas Andrew would actually look for me. Yeah, I think that's looking in two different ways, though, isn't it? Because I'd be like, because I feel like you would go. missing but the paper trail

be quite easy to follow. Why? Because you only go a certain amount of places. Like you don't go out, you don't get drunk if we wanted to see where you last were it would be at a gig. That's so real I'm just a boring workaholic who has no fun. You're a real intense workaholic. I'm aware of how that sounded now.

I actually am. I feel like I'd be able to find you. Well, there's a lot to be said for being boring and it's that when you died, there'll only have been three places you could have been. And then if you weren't gigging, it's so easy we'd just go to yours and you'll be baking. and be one of you're making my be like, oh yeah, sorry

Catherine's fine she was making a cooly. Oh, wow. It's such a dire indictment of my existence, but it's also so utterly fair. Oh no, Catherine went on a spontaneous trip

at a car. As if. Catherine spontaneously went abroad. Like, could you imagine? Like, we'd find you. We'd find you. Yeah, you'd find me. That's a good thing.

Now give me the passwords to your social media. No, as soon you don't need them. I'm going to see you're fucking talking to. So bleak. Good Lord. I do think that... But seriously, if any of our listeners out there

are missing at the moment, let us know and we'll fucking find you. Oh my God, yeah, let us know. We could make this like, trusty hogs, trail pigs. That was good. Truffle pigs that search stuff out, yeah. Trusty hogs, truffle pigs.

Oh, my God. Hunting pigs. Hunting pigs. And we can hunt. I think you have more. Find you out. Do I have more pear? I think you might have more pear.

I've got the itchiest note. It's gone now. It could be snot. You can't tell the difference. I found it. Don't, don't, don't, please don't do whatever you're going to do. Okay, thank God. I was like, please, how are you going to find out?

Please God, how are you going to find out? Please don't put that in your mouth. Sweet Jesus. I'm so disgusting. Andrew, I've got pear, everyone. You know what? That's a good thing. If I go missing, follow the trail of pear.

Follow the trail of snotty little pear pieces. Yeah, probably. on the floor and you'll probably find me at the back of McDonald's going it's my first time here for the first time here I'd never been here before I wanted to see what was on the menu

I didn't know it's got a weird menu like I'm rocking in the corner my first ever big back I don't know what it is I don't know what you're talking about I don't know what you're talking about I don't know what you talking about

have you ever done that where someone's like surprise caught you eating I think call like it's a bad thing to do Oh my gosh that time that this ever happened to me was I was doing the double at the comedy store We do the early show and the late show.

And between us, there's very little time. Yeah. And you order food from the kitchen there and eat it in the back? Oh, you're smart. No. I am. You went to Bubba Gump shrimp. No.

We do not have similar lives. I went to fast food chain. Oh, five guys. No, Leon. And, um. They're not the same life. Natural fast food chain. Leon.

And I went in and I just ordered waffle fries, but two things of them. Um, because I just wanted some comforting potato. Yeah. Yeah. I am who I am. Anyway, I'm there shoveling. And I mean shoveling. When you're not chewing, you're just swallowing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm absolutely pounding these waffle fries into myself. And I was wearing the same dress I wore on roast battle. But obviously I didn't have my hair and makeup done in the same way because it wasn't done professionally. So I look like kind of the same girl, but with such full cheeks. And this man walks over from the table of four, frankly good looking, man holds the photo up to my face and goes

and this is how she and I look comparative to how I look when somebody else does my hair and makeup he went is this you? Oh God so I had to chew for quite some time then swallow then swallow again because my mouth was dry and then say

yeah but I'd had my hair and make a joke and I honestly wanted to die holy shit It was mortifying. Also, sorry, you tell me about one time that you were in terms. No, but why is it so mortifying? I have the same reaction.

Like, if I'm, so like, obviously we eat a lot by ourselves because we're like out in the evening or out town. No, it wasn't mortifying because I was by myself. It was mortifying because somebody was holding up a photo of me from a television show, which should have been like a peak moment, whilst I put fistfuls of crisscrossed potatoes down my own gullis. Like forcing them down so I could get more. Like a pelican.

Yeah. And then I had to be like, yeah, that was me. That was what was mortifying about it. I feel like I still panicked, like, even if it's just like any other comics come in and I'm like, they're half through a barrio. I'm like, oh, hi, I don't know what I'm doing.

Like, how did this get here? I don't even like food. I'm scared of it. I'm scared of it. Like, I don't know what it is. I think maybe it's a childhood of secret eating and like trying to pretend that I'm not hungry. Yeah.

That like, it's like brainwashed into me. So like if I'm like backstage when someone else comes in and I'm like eating, I'm like, oh, oh, oh, hell, I'm disgusting. Oh, what I'm a stupid bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also feel like... And I don't have that reaction to wanking.

Good for you, girl. Good for you. You know what I mean? Are you wank in the green room too? Like if... You gotta stop it. You gotta stop it. No, but like if I was like... No, just in bobbish rooms. If I'm at home having a wank in my room, I mean, that's Sam was Soneil. But like, if Emma came home and I was having a wank, I'd be like, I'm wanking, don't come up. Like, I'm in my room, but like, I'm in my room, but like, if I was eating in the kitchen, I'd be like, oh, really quickly. Finish her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so stupid. It is stupid. It's like a shame thing, I think. That is stupid. But also, I don't you think as well, like part of it's when you have had any sort of secretive eating patterns in your past, but also it's like obviously patriarchy and womanhood. But I do also think that like if you're a bigger woman, there is some sort of like, it's not an imagined judgment. People are more judgmental. I think that is also part of it. A hundred percent.

And it's not, like, and it's fucking outrageous. Because I got thin. Last time I went, when was last time I went thin? Must have been like 2014. Dived my hair dark brown as well. I went for like a new thin aesthetic. Gorgeous. And what was I doing at that time?

Is it an aesthetic or aesthetic? Being thin. That was my whole thing. That was my whole thing was just being thin. And I was so excited when I was what I considered to be thin. Because then I could gorge myself in public and do that thing where you go, I'm going to mean advanced metabolism. Yeah.

and I did that for the best two weeks of my life I was thin and I binged and then I was back to where I started but what a two weeks to be thin and bingy in public I think is one of the best privileges that people don't realize they have it

while they're doing it. It's a privilege of thinness is that nobody's observing what you are eating in public. Oh my god the TV will be turned off in one minute you to the TV. That's what happens when women talk about food. Wow we get heckled by the television. No but I do think that is that. I don't watch you on YouTube but the TV just said in one minute it's going to turn off because me and Catherine have been talking

about ourselves too much and Andrew does that to try and change the subject it's so prove me wrong Andrew no I can't but I definitely didn't do that I'm sorry don't be sorry because then I feel bad you good you should no okay I'm sorry Helen here's a question is it aesthetic or a aesthetic I thought it was aesthetic yeah I don't know why you've added the extra syllable there because this is a that is how it's spell yeah yeah but it's aesthetic aesthetic. Yeah. Well, we're learning.

Yeah, we're learning. So, like, it's fine for you to eat in public, but don't get a word fucking wrong. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like, that's absolutely fine. It's like, because I will shame you for that. Francis, sorry about it. We were just talking about not shaming things.

No, no, it's good to learn. Aesthetic. I think when I shame you, you should say, I'm telling Francis. I'm telling Francis. And then I'll be reminded. I'm so telling Francis about this. No, but I do think it's a public shame thing.

And I think it's nonsense. And I think it's, um, for bigger people, but it's also women, like that horrible, horrible thing where they were like, women eating on tubes. The Facebook page. Get fucked. Get fucked. Like, hello, that's all I can do is eat.

And then people tried to go like, yeah, but it's difficult for everyone because there's that Facebook page about men wearing red trousers on the tube. And it's like, it's not the same. Because they were just shots of their legs. Yeah. Eating on tubes was like you and your face

and physically eating. And it was also about actual shame around like taking in food. And it's like, if I didn't even dinner on the train I would never eat my dinner because hello have you seen our jobs oh fuck off it's so annoying so what if it's dinner three on the same journey and you've watched me have the business so what so what if it's a full roast hog that i'm roasting on the train and i'm turning this bit they're stackable lunch boxes what do you want for me so what if i'm choosing to eat lube

instead of a pudding so what you got to stop spit roasting on the chips so what let me so what if i'm Froobin. If I'm frubin, I'm frubin. Yeah, frub away. Oh, my God, I forgot about my frubing. I'm talking about frubing is the sexual act and not the actual frub. Is it a verb for sex, too? Frubing is when you go out after a good night dogging, and you go around, you collect all the used condoms and you frubim up. You're lying. It's called frubin. You're lying.

And it is a delicious hypoteness. You're lying. No, it's real. It's genuinely real. Is she lying? Google it. I've never heard of this, but I can Google it. But I haven't done it. Nobody goes around to collect. No, no. Stop it. Is that like mine sweeping for drinks, but with condoms? Yeah, and you sort of frieb it up.

Or you can just do it afterwards just to show a guy how much you respect him. Fuck, off. Fucking respect him, man. Froobing is not. Andrew, it's not. It's not a thing. Read it. I mean, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, there's frubing, and then there's

urban frubing, which is what Helen just described, according to urban diction. Which is? So urban frubing is finding the used condom, uh, and then, um, fruving is just, um, just, um, just the penis itself, just like, getting every last drop out. sick. So we are not here to King Shame. We fully respect you, whatever you want to do. No, that is disgusting. I am here to King Shame. Yeah, I was like, Andrew, I am here with you. I'm, that's absolutely revolting. That's repulsive. No, no, no. Okay, well, on that note, shall we get a guest job? So what if I'm proving on the tube.

Hey, we have the most amazing guest today. We're so excited to have him here. He's a lovely boy. And, uh, I love him. I don't know what to say. You're good friends. We're so excited. Good friends. Yeah. Darren Harriot's here. We're very excited to talk to him. Let's bring him out. on Ian. Hallish and Darian. I don't know. I said Darian. Yeah.

Oh, God. Oh, Andrew. Cut it. I will be leaving your mistakes. I mean. Yo, you know. It's time for some promo for some live gigs. Live gigs.

Life gigs. Hell. I will be doing some work in progress shows. Me too. So will Andrew. So will Catherine. So we're just going to chuck some dates of you. And then we're just going to chuck some dates of you.

And then we're. you're going to go home, put them on our website slash Catherine's already done it. I have already done it but I'm going to do it when I can. Okay, Andrew like it's really passive aggressive base. Just let me speak my truth. I will be doing split, work and progresses with Catherine Bohart.

You know the Irish one who's like fun but every now and again it's like what's her deal? I will be doing shows with her on the 31st of January and the 7th of February at the Camden Comedy Club. Pre-warning, it will be an hour of each of us. So like come fed and watered because it's like

Yeah, that's amazing how quick you can die from exposure when we're both screaming at you for that long. Also, I will be doing my own shows without Catherine. So if you're like, Helen's great, but Catherine ruins it. Come on February the 6th. This is at Vultz Festival. Or February 6th. I'm going to come and ruin it.

Don't you fucking dare. I swear to God, if you come to one of these, I will shit in your bed. I will shit in your bed. What if I'm into that? Are you? No. That would be amazing to be fan of that Catherine's king

because shit in it. We don't have time for this. No, what else you do? February 6th, February 16th, February 20th, Votes Festival. And then on the 1st of March, I'll be doing a work in progress at Pleasance because apparently I refuse to leave London. But then I will be doing Lester Comedy Festival, Brighton Comedy Festival, a lot of different festivals.

I'll be coming your way. Amazing. Tell me about you. I will, because as I've said, I'm going on tour, so I'm working progressing the hell out of my show until February. So November 12th, I'm in Bishop Sutton. November 13th I'm in Fairham That's right I leave London

Oh yeah That's right November 16th I'm at Top Secret in Covent Garden November 18th I'm at Nottingham Comedy Festival doing a work in progress November 20th I'm at Kings Cross To North Down December 1st

I'm back at Top Secret And December 4th I'm in Monkey Barrel December 5th I'm in Monkey Barrel They're both in Edinburgh December 7th I'm out doing a work in progress Of the Pleasence in Islington And December 8th I'm in Shortage Town Hall Doing a Work in Progress

That's a double header with Stuart Goldsmiths because sometimes I need a break from the headache that is Bauer. December 11th, back at two north down, December 15th, I'm in Forest Arts Centre doing a work in progress and then it's the new year. Ultimately, all of these are on my website at catherinebowhart.com. They're already up there because I take my job. I guess I'm pretty curious.

Oh my God, get a life! You fucking loser! Where do you fit in time to go like trampolina? What? Never mind. Andrew, where are you going? Just a one date to plug because Because you choose your personal life And I respect you for it I'm at Top Secret on the 15th of November Which is the day after Giglas Live on the 14th of November

So stay overnight Yeah, make it a little double-end up Standupandry.com fordickets for all the info Holy shit, what a dream Okay, great Literally a minute ago you were saying I was a king and I've just fallen so far down. You are the queen. Thank you.

You are. You're up there. Thank you. The basement queen. You're the queen of the basement. I say very nice things about both of you when you're not around. Wait, we're not here. I've heard this. I do that. Genuinely. I think I was having lunch with Fern and she was like, Darren is so lovely. Like, he loves you.

All he does is sing your praise all the time. And then whenever I see you, you're like, fuck you, fucking hell. Fucking stupid bitch. And it's like, when I talk about Darren, I'm like, I hate when we're on shoots. together because it means you have to dress up. I'm not dressed up today. This is fine, but it's rude. Like, you're supposed to go there and worry about the other women,

but instead you're like, for a fuck sake. Here comes Darren with an outfit. Oh, my God. Honestly. New shoes, they always are. Yeah, they always are. They always are. I have some really nice shoes on today.

Of course you do. I have seen them before, so I guess he rewheres. So that's some of these tie-dye jeans. Thank you. Yeah. Get it all in. Oh, my God. That's hot.

I'm too Irish. I'm like, did you buy them with a hole in them? That's an average. You're trying to have money back for them, Darren, now. I've got jeans that nearly have a hole in them because I fell over recently and scraped my knee. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to be falling over.

You know, like, when Peter Griffin falls over and he holds his knee for eight. Ow! It's really sad she fell over and then everyone in China Town laughed at her. That's how you know. That's a good sign. Everyone coming out of the restaurants to be like, look at the stupid girl. But I say, you know, you're not old.

Because I feel like if I fell over, people would help me. No. You're not there, yeah. I think I'm at, no, no, no, no. Because it's all grey around here. If I fall over, they fall in. Are you getting grey stubble? Oh, great bad, yeah.

That's why I started shaving it all off now, because round ear is all. Really? I think it's very distinguished. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. But I want to do that thing comedians do, but they lie about their age for like five, six years. You're hoping to do that?

I think I can do it. So I'm 33 now. Yeah. But if anyone ask, I'm 27. Really? I'm going to do that, yeah. I'm going to change my Wikipedia page. I'm the opposite, but I can have said it too much.

I've said that I'm older than I am so many times by accident because I feel old. But then I think, yeah, I think that is the trick. I think just keep saying I'm like 36 and people are like, wow. You look amazing. Yeah. You look amazing. And you're what 40 did you say? I am 40 now.

So can you go on and edit your own Wikipedia? Yeah, there's comics who have done it. Oh no. I know there are people who have done it. There are people who've written their own. You know, you know they've done it. because there's too much information. Yes.

It's like, no, nobody knows. I don't have a Wikipedia page. Yeah. So why does your Wikipedia say your blood type? Yeah. Exactly. It's like, come on. It has your childhood drawings on there.

That's amazing. But do you ever think of the Wikipedia page as a marker of success? Like, I think it is a marker of success, even though I know people start their own. But I was on, oh my God, what was I doing? I was on my school's Wikipedia page to see if anyone's successful,

came from my school. I knew you was going to say that. I was like, you're already going to mention. People were all talking about like, this person from my school. And I was like, oh shit. Like, I don't think we had anyone apart from nightclub, but I went to like low league football sort of thing. And I went on it and I was like, yeah, like, I want to make it onto this page.

Like, it suddenly became like a dream. I have no idea, but it became like a thing in my head. If I was on my school's page, I would message them and ask them to take it down. I'd be like, fuck you. You hate it, I hate you know. I hate you know. I hate you know. All I'm saying is that when.

Um, someone is listening to this. Yeah. Can you please put me on the court more school in Fleet Hampshire, notable alumni section? Nice. There's five people. Who are the other? Footballers, footballers, footballers, and a high jumper, who is the ear below me.

Oh, come on. You're not even on there. High jumpers on. Yeah, come on. At least you make money. That's tragic. There's any creatives on it. There's no creative.

And, um, I want to be there. I want to be there. I want it for you. Do you know editing Wikipedia pages is one of the hardest things you can do. But how do you do it? I don't understand. So on my Wikipedia page,

and how do you know this? Because I spoke to my... Because I've edited my own. I literally want to my Wikipedia page. And my Wikipedia page had everything from my like first Edinburgh show from a few years. And it says of like,

he used to be in a gang and carried a knife and talks about gang violence. And I was like, what is this? Oh, my God. So I messes my agent and they went on there. Did you say that in your show or somebody just decided those? No, it was...

I didn't say it like that in the show. I talked about it better. but it clearly read like somebody just, you know, read a few cliff-knows. And it put it in my show that my comedy is about gang violence. Like, what? What is this?

What I'm in the mob? I also love that for you saying because every time I've seen you recently you're talking about Britney Spears. Yeah. Hey, sometimes he does Uncle Ben stuff too. Exactly. Yeah, no, you're right.

You're like, I've asked a shit. There's going to be some really disappointed people expecting gang shit. I'm disappointed hard men as well. You don't want to disappoint them. And then I hit me maybe one more time. Break down the British Spears meltdown. So what they said, they said Wikipedia is super strict

And you can only edit it a certain amount of times Before they completely cut you off from it So like whenever you want to edit it It's the way they tell me about editing it Look, you can't just put anything you want And that's why pictures as well So if you look on everyone's Wikipedia picture It's always the pictures of them aren't like a red carpet or something

You can't put headshots in There's no headshots allowed So that's why everyone's Wikipedia page The photo of them is usually one that's horrible Because it's not... What's your photo? I don't think there's a photo on mine Oh my God.

Wait, is it just like info? Yeah, I think so. Wait, I want to look up yours now and see it. Let's not. Let's not. Can you get it on the screen behind? No, why? Let's fucking know.

What is the point of having to produce if you can't get it off on the screen? Yeah, can we get things on the screen, but specifically not that? I don't know. Andrew, that seems like a, seems like a great time. Can we get Catherine Burr-Hart, King? No! Catherine Boehart is an Irish stand-up comedian, writer and actor based in the United Kingdom. Okay.

Her alma mater, so uni. Yeah. Royal Central School of Speech and Drama. Yeah. Occupation, yeah, blah, blah, blah. Your height. What did they say for height? Five foot.

Five inches? It's five, five and a half, but all allowed. Got to personal life. Personal. That's where the juice is. I feel like Darren's written my personal life. He's like, go to personal life. I put some good shipping here.

I'm just going to be honest. It's out of date. I don't know what he's, I think I know what he's saying. It's two sentences and it's out of date. Okay, then. Bohart is bisexual. Full stop. That's not out of date, but okay.

She previously dated. Oh, previously. Yay! Come on. Wait, no. There is, okay. She's previously dated as Sarah Keyworth, a fellow stand-up comedian.

They met in 2015 and lived together in Kilburn, London. And you did live in Kilburn. That's been in my address. That's really weird, but you did live in Kilburn. What did they put that? I don't know. It's a weird thing to put.

They lived in Kyoto. But also Darren could have written that because he lived on the same road. Oh, my God. Korea. After struggling as an actress. Oh! Oh, that's fucking brutal. The struggling with her miserable career.

Bohart transitioned to stand-up in 2014. You can tell us the same person didn't. Is that how you got into stand-up because you were failing as an actor? No, I was depressed. Like everyone else, that's how you start. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wow, savage.

Your early life. Boehard grew up in Clonsilla. Yeah. Ireland. The daughter of the Catholic deacon. She is obsessive. of compulsive disorder and was hospitalized in St. Patrick's University Hospital

for four months. Why have they put the hospital? I'm telling you this is all from what you put in Edinburgh shows and you didn't say which hospital. No, that's terrifying. No, but you know when you do those, all those interviews you do about your show. They take a lot from that and we say a lot of shit in those. Go on mine. I'm literally doing it right now. Wait, do it has nothing

about my gang time. That's crazy. Oh, what? The time he went to Brownies one. Yeah. This is really going to depress me now. And then left because it wasn't, Darren's got a picture. Why would they use that picture? That's a horrible picture. That's a horrible picture.

Let me see the picture. That's one of my first head shots ever. Well, I thought you said head shots were in a line, Darren. They must have took it from a different thing because it's not. Let me see. Look at that. Oh, it's so much hat. It's so much hat.

Let's have a look. Oh my God, I've got that hat on. It's like a little black halo. It's horrible. And I love it. That was me fighting hairline as well in that. Oh, that's hard. Okay.

Oh my God. This says a lot about Darren. It is all Korea. There is no personal life. That's how you know I got my age. to have a look at it. You have clearly had someone what has it said at the top?

Harriet has toured the UK with his show's Visceral and Good Heart You. He is good. It goes straight in. Okay, at the top, it's a British stand-up comedian from Aubrey West Midland. He was a...

What was that? He's actually got my area in... He used to say Birmingham. Oh. He was nominated for Best Newcomer and Best Show Award of the Edinburgh Fringe in 2017 and 2019, respectively. We're just bragging for Darren now.

What are we doing here? Why are we doing this? This says your date of birth. Yeah. and your website. It has no height. So can you say your height on this and we can see if it gets on there?

I'm six foot and a half. Six foot and a half. That doesn't feel true. It is, it is. You gotta add to half. If I'm half, I would just have six foot. And without the hat?

Six foot. I want to get something else put on this to see if this works. I swear it used to say, Darren was in a gang and carried a knife and talks about gang virus in his company. Can someone go on this and edit in Darren Harriet's Wikipedia page, personal life, Darren's gang member.

I dare. I'm from Birmingham. I dare someone to put that I am related to Ainsley Harriet. Please can someone go on it and say he's related to Aisley Harriet's son was formerly a gang member in Birmingham. If you tap my name in on Google, that's the first one that comes up.

Is he related to Aeney Harriet? Stop. Yeah, yeah, I tapped it in and I was so angry. Wow. But neither of you are linked to your schools? No. I think it's the thing. I think it's the thing.

I hated my school and they hated me back. But let's talk about how Darren's from Birmingham and that should be corrected. From the black contrary. It's west of Birmingham. It's very different. This is getting very racist now. Black country is very different.

It has its on history, has its own day. Black country day. Has it on flag as well. I've stepped into something I don't mean. Red, white, black. It has changed as well. Could have something to do with slavery. Let's not go back to Hed.

Yeah, pretty much does. It's got chains on it? I mean, the flag is black, white, red, and it's got chains going in between. And obviously, it's known for its chain making, you know, sort of... Yeah, but it just doesn't feel good. It's not ideal. And it's from the 1800 and 1900s. It's a subpart.

It was called the black country because it was one of the most industrialized parts. the country, so much so. There was sot in the air on a constant basis, hence it being called the black country. Also, there was black people and you couldn't really tell if they had so. Also, lovely zoo and Dudley. Shout out to Dudley Zoo. The zoo's whack. Yes, they do.

Where you can go and see a dead dog. Go to the black country museum. It's voted one of the highest rated places on TripAdvisor. Give it a go. No, can you take me? I want to learn. That's not a good metric. I went to...

What do you mean? No, because my brother and I recently went to Cornwall separately. And the most... Jesus. Separately. Separately. Separately. I know you're not going to think of it's going on here.

I don't get along like that. I would date my brother, but he would not date me. He's dating a redhead, which is so rude. I know. He's obsessed. Is he good looking? Yeah, he's gorgeous. Can I see a picture of him?

Come on. We'll do that after. But here's the thing. Their highest rated thing on TripAdvisor is a tunnel that people have just made the number one tourist attraction in Cornwall. What's sort of tunnel? It's a shit tunnel, but they've made it the feature and like things to go to because everyone takes a photo being like, this changed my life.

I've seen the northern lights, but nothing's like this tunnel in Cornwall. Was it a troll job? Yeah, it's incredible. It's incredible. I want to go there. It's like when they run for mayor and you always have that. What's that guy's name?

Binn face or something. Oh, yeah. Binhead. Buckethead. Stuff like that. Two very political minds in the room. I can tell.

Look at it. Look at it. Look at us. Big face, bucket. Basketman. Damn right. Your lips. Sorry, what side would we on?

What's popular with the people? What's popular with the people? I want to be relatable. I want to be relatable. Oh, sorry. Can I ask you guys a question as as female comedians. Yeah.

Does it have to be as female comedians? Can I ask you guys as humans who do comedy? No, no, ask us as you were going to as female. I'll only answer as a female comedian. Because I'm kind of obsessed with this question, right? So whenever I speak to different female comedians about who their comedy icons are, comedy icons are, there's always this whole thing about... Darren Harriet.

I know, thank you. That's what I was going for. Dylan Morris. And they always... Okay, in terms of female. So I like... So obviously, I really love fashion, right? I am obsessed with fashion.

And I always used to pay attention back in the day before I was a full-time comedian how female comics would dress when they're on TV because I noticed that a lot of them would really sort of dress down on TV as opposed to what they would normally sort of want to wear on TV. So because I was talking to some other acts

and I said the first female comedian I remember seeing on TV doing stand-up, I think it was live at the Apollo, maybe Michael McIntyreys, dressed, like, really dressed off. I know who you're going to say. Who are you going to say? Andy Osho. Andy Osho.

Yeah. You see Andy Osho? Okay. Fucking, like an actual proper, like, night out. But she doesn't get the credit for that. No. No, she doesn't because most people, I think a lot of people would have been thinking Catherine Ryan.

That's what a lot of said, Catherine Ryan. That's so funny that you guys know. Yeah, I think it was like a, was it like a black kind of like a girl? I think I also had a reference to me recently. Like someone sort of being like, oh, it's so, because like, I naturally. dressed down. I'm just, I'm very much a comfort person. My fashion knowledge has ever been that great. Also, I grew up fat. So, like, I've just never had, like, that many options as well. But now I'm just sort of like, it is fun dressing up on stage. But I think we do have to

think sometimes that if I go on stage really dressed up, then the, it does hit differently sometimes the jokes. Like, do you judge women faster as to what they're wearing than they do men? But also, there's this weird thing where I think there was a time gone by where if you, if you wore anything other than jeans and a t-shirt as a female comic you were like not a serious comic and now there's this unbelievable pressure to be gorgeous on television while simultaneously being funny and if you're like there's no winning in it either like if you were if you have Botox and you glam up your not a real comic yeah so if you look like casual you look awful it's just frustrating you got to look attainably gorgeous and sexy in a non-threatening one

non-threatening is key non-threatening stunning, sexy, casual, attainable, but flawless skin. But funny. But really funny. But also never going to be funny enough for a lot of people as well. Yes, yes. I always give Catherine Ryan, obviously, a lot of credit because she didn't really give a fuck.

She'd dress up. She always went, you know. Joan Rivers too. Joan Rivers as well. I always remember, because I remember watching Joe Brand. Because when female comics talk about, like, the comic, okay, this is another question, right? female comics talk about the comic

that they look at when they go so she walked so I could run in a way Oh yeah, by Doth the Captain Everyone is comfortable Who's the comic that No, but there's always one So the one that I hear a lot

From other comics is Sarah Milliken Like Sarah Milliken is like One who they all look at and go She walked But I never hear people say Joe Brand Oh I would definitely think Joe Brand Because I think Joe Brand went through so much shit As a female comic in the 90s

Mental I completely agree When she was, did you hear her comedian's comedian I didn't by I have read her book. It's, I mean, it's phenomenal. But she's, I think she absolutely, she's definitely the one I think who put the way.

And she paved the way for like so many different types of comedians, because it wasn't just like, she paved the way for female material as we understand it. So like, talking about her husband, but also like being dry as shit, wasn't something women got to be. And being mean, wasn't something women got to be. Being fat wasn't something women got to be.

I mean, she's, I think, I think it's so many, and it's so many who weren't put on TV because at that point you were only allowed one successful women and they picked and it wasn't a case so now they were one woman's allowed to be successful every year back then it was one a decade in fair or so you guys had way more than black it's been Lenny Henry for 40 years that's so true that is so true even now I'm competing with Lenny Henry yes yes it's brutal I completely agree with you I also like but also it's still it's so funny that like there still isn't like there still isn't a black face on every panel show but they're also always like often the person who is the black face also has to be the female face also has to be the queer face also has to be it's like I'm like how are we still

a situation where it's not half and half women and then that the issue isn't getting making sure we have more like cultural or I think also like I guess in this country you would call it class diversity like we're still stuck on like the first one can I still five dudes can I ask you guys about class

sorry I've just got I'm just I love you've come on here like we're wise It is the premise of the podcast, but also ultimately, I'm doing, loving this right now. Okay, I was talking to someone about class today, right? I think we all have those conversations about five times a week, right? Here's my thing. It's also important to say I come from a country where it's not as prevalent. No, it is, but it's not as overtly understood as class.

Helen, do you work in class? No, everyone always, I'm middle class. Are you doing class? Yeah. I think I'm middle class. Okay. Tell us why you think you're middle class. Because the parents both work.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. What kind of jobs are we taught in terms of, like, good jobs? Academics? In sewage. And my mom is a learning support assistant at a school. Okay. Did you have, like, loads of holidays as kids?

Yeah, that's why I say middle class. We could afford to go on the school trips, and we went on holidays. And we, I'm from North East Hampshire, which is very middle class areas. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay, fair. Yeah. Do you think that you can stay, because this is what I'm kind of annoyed about. This is why I'm Sue like...

I hear a lot of comedians. Rich comedians. I'm attainable and relatable. And I'm like, you can't be working class. You're a millionaire. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can be working class minded. You can have working class girls.

You can have poverty porn. It's mental to me. It's poverty porn. I'm not to say any names. I'm really glad you said that. I'm really glad you said that because my parents were incredibly working class. Yeah. My, um, and my dad had three jobs when I was in school.

My mom worked two jobs. And they became middle, class by the time I was probably a teenager they worked so incredibly hard and they also fucking revel in being a middle class now in fact they have so much money

they don't know what to do with it by which I mean they have any money and they're just like take it take it and just keep it for two seconds just keep it for two seconds they're like it's so I can't don't know anyway they're incredible but like I don't count myself as working class because I grew up

in a middle class environment and also I am like because of all the opportunities I've had like I almost think like if you had the opportunity to make money to go to university to see the world then it's

really impossible for me to consider myself that and it would be farcical but the idea of being a millionaire and still referring to yourself as working class but not even owning property and still referring to yourself as working class I'm like lads you know what I think is so insulting is that to most of our parents who were working class for us to be middle class

was the dream yeah yeah yeah so to then like shit on it annoys me. No, yeah, because I see it all the time and I'm like, hold on a second. I'm probably a stereotypical working class. Dad was a drug dealer, died in prison when I was a kid, blah, blah, blah, all that.

Mom, cleaner, we used to, she used to finance my clothes for school, you know, pay every week for clothes. I had a loan man come to the house, a scary figure that we'd loan money. Proper working, anyway, I am no longer working class in terms of what I earn money, what I pay. Were you one of the cool EMA kids? EMA 30 pound of wheat, baby!

I don't know what that acronym is. I didn't go to school here. It's when you don't have enough money at home, so they give you like 30 pounds a week as a kid. But if you turn up to one lesson late, you don't get your EMA anymore. So if that happened, I just skipped the rest of the week. I was done.

But they handed out EMAR college, but they also, because it was 1,500 of us in a year group, they couldn't keep tabs on us. You'd put your own attendance in online. I said what you want, yeah. Oh, get morons. Big up, big up labor, yeah. EMA.

It was all said. Tony Blair, Like chicken chops, like everything. It all went to the fast food chains around the colleges. Here's a thing, right? I was thinking about this other day without sort of bragging. I was looking at how much tax I'm paying. And I was like, I am paying middle class tax in terms of how much I'm paying.

I'm like, if I'm paying that in tax, there is no way I can call myself working class out. I still have working class guilt. I still send my mom money and all that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like because my mom still doesn't own a house and she works full time. Yeah. But I'm reading these comics talking about how like their middle class and working class. And I'm like, you're a multi-millioner.

The money, I understand that in terms of the mentality, you can still have the working class mentality and all that I get, and the guilt. But I'm middle class and I can have a working class mentality inherited from my parents, but I went to, my siblings didn't, but I went to a private school. Yes, my dad worked three jobs. Yes, I was the poor kid in that school, but I wasn't poor. And it's like far, also, why do people, it's like people think they get some sort of moral cookies for identifying as working class.

And it's like you actually get more points from me for acknowledging what you have. You know what it is done in comedy? because there's this whole thing of trying to get more working class voices and all that sort of stuff and people seem to hate on the middle class and a lot of it started off from what I saw when I was starting comedy

was when like the Jack White halls were rising and people were just like oh it's a posh boy he's typical at the time it was everybody used to say the T4 hairdo comics that was back then we're talking 2008 2009 to 2010 right that was big everybody would say oh it's one of those T4 hairdo comics and there's posh boy

I love T4 I went T4 on the beach West of the City for that She was really Alan when she was still doing the prom dress and the training. And every, great look. And everybody was just hating on those comics. And here's another thing I was thinking about. These comics, they all have really nice cars. A lot of them.

Like, a lot of them have sports. Someone have sports cars. We can't drive. They have, like, really nice sports cars. But they would never let their audience know that they drive what they drive because they seem to think that they would lose their audience because they're, you know, playing poverty. And it's like, we know you're not poor.

If you've got free TV shows and you'll, selling out tours for like a thousand people. Yep. You're really rich, man. But people are desperate. It's like, I'm saying, relatable. Everything's a mess. That's what I like about Mickey Flanagan, right?

Mickey Flanagan, Mickey Flanagan, opened one of his shows and he goes, ah, I've got myself a leaf blower. Yeah, because I just have to blow away all this money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm rich. I'm not the poor guy I used to, but it's fine. You can show that growth.

It just, it just bugs me when I see comics who I know are very rich saying that they are working class, it's like, you're fucking not, mate. I got reviewed, the one hour did at Edinburgh, I got reviewed as being a working class comic in like two or three reviews, even though I said I was middle class in the show about three times after that happened.

You say class. You can't be working class. Middle class. Middle class. I'm like, you can't be. Oh, but you're getting on the bus, Papa. Papa, fucking northeast Hampshire. Yeah, Hampshire, yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. But it's also that thing of being like, don't also don't use this as you ticking a box being like oh i finally went and sort out some working class talent because you're in the pleasant's courtyard you are not seeing working class talent here if i can go to the free fringe make an effort and actually go see stuff like felt like they were just sort of like oh this is easy and i was saying to my agent like it doesn't make i don't know why they put me in that box because it's not like i'm talking about anything

and she was like i'm telling you now it is 100% because i didn't go to university and because my dad works in sewage and i mentioned they were to sewage and they're like they're going to assume that's terrible. Fucking poo is like a fucking dream business. It's never going out of business. You're constantly shitting. You are constantly shitting. That's true.

My friends are bin man rolling in it. That was a bin man as well. And then he quit that to be a lawnmower at Chesterweller Adventures. And then he went into sewage. I love to see it. I think in comedy as well there's a lot of people who just, there's a lot of sort of middle class comics who haven't really had much hardship in their lines. Who are just trying to find a USP.

Thank you. And it's anything at all that they can sort of grab onto. My tints are too. Oh, that's so pretty My banker But also like There's also often people who are the opposite Who have had a hardship in their lives

But are still trying to tick every box And it's like that almost makes the true parts Unrelatable because you're like Just talk to us about what we built I know this is the point of this conversation But I am so going to rebrand his working class now I think you should Rebrand I'm fucking doing it

I'm rebranding Do you don't think I've got a brand already I don't think you need to rebrand My brand is a crack and rack A cracking rack Yeah, I mean that's a solid brand I mean it's a good brand But don't you on stage

Talk about how one is not As good as the other That's true of every woman, Darren Yeah, but she says it on stage She actually outs her floors You can't do that You're gonna have to say But it makes me relatable

Yeah They're so good She has to do them down on stage Or else people wouldn't be able to listen to her Women will turn away They'd be like she's too perfect Yeah I've got to be like one of them's got

Like a funny I can't look to wreck me at it Yeah Hey Andrew Do we have a problem From the listeners That we need to solve Oh yeah

I do yeah Can I also can I also say, before you begin, I like the fact you didn't introduce me. We did, if you weren't even he ended. Oh, I'm sorry, was he reading from your entire Wikipedia page, not sufficient adoration for downhouse? Can I just really quickly before we do this, Andrew, just ask you as a

male comedian, do you always feel the need to point out something we didn't do before we move on to the next segment? Yes. Great, carry on, Andrew, thank you. Andrew, let's do this thing. Well, we'll keep it comedy related. Please. Yeah, this listener, I, we'll use the initial

I. Okay. They ask, how do you convince yourself to drop a bit? You are proud of writing, but it's too niche for 99.9% of an audience. So have you ever written stuff that is inaccessible, but you really... Yes. I feel attacked. Do you want to go?

I don't, Darren. I don't drop it. Yeah, I think you get to a point where... And it takes a few years where you just don't care. Because it depends how long the bit is. I mean, if it's like a two-minute bit, then you're probably... going to drop it but if it's a little if it's something that you enjoy and you know that there's always at least one person yeah because I think it all comes down to how well are you how good are you

at dealing with the silence on stage yeah so if you're going to get the silence are you going to is you going to freak you out are you going to lose your shit are you going to panic or are you just going to go that's fine I did it for me don't worry there's more coming that you'll enjoy I've got a bit for everyone don't worry I have a 10 minute routine on the TV show dance mums which never aired over here and you have to watch it in clips and it was all all about um there's one of the mums who's like so pushy with her daughter kendall and she's trying to get her to play the part of rosa parks even though there's one black girl in the group and she doesn't get any major part and the teacher's like well we don't know who's gonna get it

the classic scary spies i find that with tv as well i i've been thinking about a bit about this show that i watched that was just awful i don't you've seen it it's called um uh drag me down the aisle no but it sounds like really good no you wouldn't like it so i think we might you know what it is the show is it basically someone thought of the title and they went this is great it's a genius i'm into it i'm into it no it's not so that um it's arranged marriages between adults and children no i think of what could it be that would be awful why would you say i want to watch it drag down the old girl pulling a 60 year old like we do it basically it's about it's about these women who want to get married right which woman doesn't right they're not getting married and then

they want confidence from drag stars and drag performers, right? No. So what they do is they get five drag performers. How will we not heard of them? How are we not heard of it? They're like American drag artists, right? And they turn up and they're, you know, they're exactly what you expect. They're sassy and catty as folk.

But the woman is usually quite meek and a bit like really silent and quiet. And then they sort of dress her, try and give her confidence and all this stuff. And when you watch it in the end, you realize she doesn't care about a wedding. It's just about her hanging about with drag stars. That's your actual dream. I love this for her. Yeah, because all the advice that they give her... I will change my entire personality

and get engaged just for a chance for this car. All the advice that they give her, she doesn't take any of it. She just has a normal, boring wedding, and it's just because she wants to hang out with drag stars, and it's one of the worst shows I've ever seen. Drag me up the aisle. I think it's on TLC.

You have TLC? I love the learning channel. I've got to watch my goodness. I watch my day fiancé religiously. I've got to watch... Come on, get in. Marita first time. Yeah.

Marita Fursa. It was amazing this year. Amazing. Your bit is too niche. Darren's right. If it's just a throw, if it's just like a reference to it really quickly, then keep it in because it's really fun for those like couple of people that do get it. And also a bit of fun for you.

And if it's something that's super, super niche, but you think it is worth it. Sometimes the explanation or something people don't know can be really funny. I was going to say, I don't think there's a topic too niche. I just think there's writing that's too niche. I think if it's something that you're like, this is something that you're like, this is so worth the joke, if people don't know about it, sometimes just explaining the premise or something can be really, really funny.

I think what you do is an interesting blend of especially stuff that's quite niche. Because I always say this to, I always say this to you every time. I say the connection you have with women in the audience is unlike anything I've ever seen. Because I've literally seen you do your routine about what, the kebab.

The kebab being a woman trying to get a kebab and whatnot. And I see guys, they're just like, okay, but women are losing their shit. And then eventually you get everybody on the side because it's just a force of nature as you go through it. But through a lot of people, that begins. And I've watched it. I've seen how niche people are with it at the beginning

because it's one of those things to talk about people. Yeah, but women are 100% on board with you at the beginning and then men immediately jump. And then you've got a few other routines that, again, I think, is quite niche. Oh, yeah. But you really sell. You talk at length about Pokemon Go. Like, there's no audience.

Are you talking about Pokemon, girl? I've actually dropped that a little bit because it is supernational so it turns out my best stuff about it is fucking dark as shit because right i'm gonna say it here because otherwise it'll never meet the light of day go so Pokemon go you play it by walking around and you spin poke stops which are like significant sights so it can be like anything from like a pub or like a theater all the way down to like a fancy post box yeah okay but including that also include memorials oh god that's funny that's funny and like the seven seven memorial and hide park wow no so you spin it and you get a gift to send to someone

around the world and you send it but you have to send it with a sticker which is often something like a squirtle going yes! Or a picture you going, oh yeah! And then you send the 7-7 memorial. Oh my God! Along with a super happy little squirtle.

Actually in your set, that's hilarious. And there's just something so fucked up by the fact that there's people going and playing Pokemon Go and they're like, where are we? The Holocaust Memorial spin. Send that. 9-11 Memorial, yeah. But then the X-Ectonement.

nation of Pokemon Go that was said really boringly but you can make it fun that's an example but there's a fun way of explaining it like quicker or just say I stopped playing Pokemon Go because and then there you go into it yeah because it is like a few years old now and then I think that's right like if it's like

every now and again you get a bit of material that you fucking love so much you just don't care what the reaction is you're going to do it I had that with a bit from my first show Truman Show which was like hit and mess but I loved it so much but also I think it's worth finding a person who doesn't fit into the niche and if you can explain it to them you can probably explain to an audience

which is why I used to have a male director who was a bit older than me and it was really useful because I would say things throw away and he'd be like what the hell do you mean by that and then suddenly I'd realize there was a gag where I didn't think there was so like I'd be like oh lesbian because you know lesbian sex goes on forever

and to me that's intuitive everything that's built into that but he was like sorry what and so I think that is a story about how a man got me to explain lesbian sex to him and not actually a really good point actually maybe just sit down with a fellow comic But yeah, I just sort of like one that you definitely know won't get the reference.

Yeah. And just chat it out with them and through the explanation, something funny will probably come. I don't mind that as long as you're saying that you're chatting out a bit of material. But if you try and go with a fellow comic tries to do material on me, I, I can tell immediately when they're like, so then I said, I'm like, what? You don't talk like, well, you get at the standard sketch show. That is so fair. Or when you're both doing a bit of banter and then suddenly they do it on stage

and you're like, ah, oh, yeah. Did we solve it? I think so. I think so, yes. I saw your little face popping up and I was like, we've solved it. Is that one of your listeners, sends in? Yeah.

What's it called? Do you have a segment? Is there a name for that? It's just the advice section to where the trusty hogs you trust is with your problem. Thank you, Darren Harris. Thank you. Thank you for doing this.

Yay. Round of applause, Andrew. Yes. I want to thank the Patreon. That's what I want to do, Catherine. Because we've got so many more than I thought we would have. I'm genuinely, like, overwhelmed. Thank you.

So I guess I'm going to read out the producers first because, like, you guys are babes. And I'm just going to start with Howard Van Dyke. What a classic. Yes, Harold. We've got David. We've got David. We've got S.B. Dubbs.

We've got Neil Redmond. We've got Kira Leach. We've got Anthony Conway. Claire, Owen Jones, Emma Walton. Whoa. What a legend, Emma Walton. We've got Zoe. Thank you, Zoe.

No second name. Why do you need it? Why do they need it? Lee Myers-Koff? Yes. Cough or Gough? I'm going to say cough. I was guessing Myers-Co.

Myers-Co? Okay, Lee, Lee Myers-Co. Well, let us know. Correct us. Correct us. Tim and Dom, Richard Bicknell. Richard Bolt. Tim and Dom still being one producer, just sing-gill.

Got to be supportive of them. Be supportive, please. Karen Bolt, Rachel R. Sadie Cashmore, Victoria Hutchson and L. And then we have an Irish name. You can do it, go on. Kim Dovgul or Kim, Dugel or Kim, I'll read it as it spell, Dubhagea Hill.

Catherine, would you like to, is... If anyone who's concerned that I'm like really being moronic, it's spelled D-U-B-H-G-H-A-I-L-L-K-K-R-K-R-E-L-K-K-K-R-E-M-A-L-K-K-K-K-K-K-E-R-M-A-Mah-K-K-K-K-E-R-E-M-A-M-K-E-M-E-W-N-E-E-M-E-W-N-E-E-N-E-E-N-E-O-E-W-E-E-N-E-E-N-E-E-O-E-W-E-E-W-E-E-E-W-E-E-E-W. I want needy. No, an egypt. Okay, right, yeah. That's all right because that doesn't mean anything to me because it's not technically a word. I also want to say massive thank you to our executive producers. Oh my god. Technically your bosses. Thank you for your money. Thank you for the money. Thank you for the money. Guy Goodman

and Simon Moore. Oh, lads, thanks. You guys are all heroes. And thank you to everyone who donates anything at all. We genuinely couldn't do this without you. This podcast is finally starting to pay for itself, which is so cool. We're so lucky. I'm going to go build a bear, baby. I'm going to build me a bear. We don't get paid yet, but that'll come. Guys, thank you so much for donating. If you can't donate or you can't afford to donate, please tell five people, because

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