Trusty Hogs - Ep73. CAT COHEN / Pubes, Pole Dancing & Petting Whales

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

A superstar in the making, Cat Cohen joins us this week fresh from a meteoric few years winning Edinburgh Best Newcomer, making her Netflix special debut, and appearing on TV shows like 8 out of 10 Cats, Seth Meyers, and Broad City! We deep dive into her threesome journey, bi-curiosity, and things to do in New York...FOLLOW CAT: @CatCCohenThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Moores / Guy Goodman / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver JagoPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Karen & David Bull / Harald van Dijk / Eddie Doyle / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Jo Holmes / Sarah & Molly / Alex Pugh / Josie W / Amy / Cordelia / Raia Fink / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Sophie Chivers / Graham Marsh / Emily Gee / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt SimsWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Oh, and welcome. What? Let's try again. I want to try again. I want to give me another shot. You've got to give me another shot. Let's do it.

Hello and welcome to episode 73 of Trustee Hogs. My name's Helen Bauer. This is Catherine Bohart. We're comedians. Let's get into the episode. Through the fog, step forth the trusty hogs. Yeah, you're going to give me your problems and they will solve that. Or maybe they won't

And that's your problem They'll have guests And Andrew White on the tech Oh It's Helen and Catherine As the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not

Let's get into it Where do you want to start Because obviously we had a fight this weekend We didn't have a fight We had a fight Helen Adult female friendships are impossible because women inherently are whores.

Okay. And I have to say my truth. I rang Helen to say, Happy Valentine's Day, babe. I love you. So unnecessary. Helen said no and hung up on me and then sent frankly abusive tweets and text messages

until she calmed down. That's what happened. Abusive. Go fuck yourself. Fucking leave me alone. That was banter. Oh my God. Take a joke, babe.

Take a joke. I just think, Like, I was like, oh my God, listen, other love than, like, fucking romantic love matters. And I woke up being like, who do I love? I love you. I'm going to call you. Fine. Fuck you.

I don't love you. Forget it. For context for me, I'd been away for four nights doing the Cardiff Glee weekend and then the Lester weekend. You did just have failed to Lester via three buses. I should have known. Thank you, Ben. I should have known.

And I had two previews in Lester, one of which. Bad? One of which. Was it bad? I was like, wow, I'm really speaking my truth. And then afterwards, an audience member, who is one of our patrons? I won't say who you, you know who you are, was like, oh, that was very personal.

But then you rung me and it was Valentine's Day. You know when you've just sort of like skip that it's Valentine's Day in your head? Because it's like my gigs are later. I can focus on them then. Yeah. Like I just need to travel back to London. And then you called, happy Valentine's Day. And I just pictured you.

I said, happy Valentine's Day, I love you. Don't make it worse. and you were, I could just picture you walking down the street as you rung hand in hand with your girlfriend going, should we call our single friends and just check in on them really quickly? I wasn't with her.

I was by myself coming back from a one rebel class. I'd just gone to a fucking treadmill class. What's a treadmill class? Oh, it's where like you go, so half the room is boxes with weights and half of the room is treadmills. So you do like eight minutes on the treadmills and eight minutes on the box of weights,

four minutes, four minutes, three minutes, three minutes, five minutes, whatever. So you're like, on and they'll tell you to put up the like you go on a hill you go fast you sprint you climb you do parachute whatever and then like you go over you do like

squats and burpees and lift weights Happy Valentine's Day Happy Valentine's Day bitch but no I wasn't with my girlfriend I felt like we had a fight Yeah no me too because I was also like I knew you felt that and I was like I have loved you so much longer

than this new girlfriend I was like I'll face I'm calling you Just say I'm your angel and we'll move on Fine you're my angel Thank you. What are you looking at on your phone? I'm looking at. You know what I'm looking at. I'm looking at my list of things. Oh yeah. Because I, on my old brain, I always forget what I want to say to you on the podcast. And then, okay, can I tell you what? I have things I wanted to tell you. But also, I need to tell you about this reaction that I've been getting a lot lately.

Okay. Because I'm meeting a lot of new people via the new girlfriend. Yeah, of course. A lot of them, lesbians. A lot of them, hi, will be like, oh my God, I love your podcast. And I'm like, bye, thank you so much. And then they go, every single time without fault. This has happened like 20 times in the last month. I love your podcast. Helen is so funny.

No. I'm like, cool. But isn't that just natural because my friends all love you? Is it? Could you tell me about that like occasionally? Because honestly I keep being like,

thank you. I think it's just that my friends inherently are like, Catherine's so great. Isn't she smart? I just met these people though. They're not like my friends. And then for you, everyone that means you is like they compliment me

because you can't compliment someone face to face. You can't. I like to. I know, It's, unless you're in a compliment circle, it's not safe. It's just really creepy. You're right.

Women are weird. You're right. It just comes out of nowhere. Hi to the lesbians of East London who play football. And thank you for your support. I am an ally. I don't know if I am, but. You're, you're ally adjacent.

I'm friendly. Yes, you're friendly. I'm a friendly girl. You're welcome anywhere I'm welcome as far as I'm concerned. It's one. It's the allieship being friendly. Is it? Yeah.

Yeah, because an ally is a friend, isn't it? Yeah. Now, I have to tell you a couple things. Okay, go on. This is the list you've written down of things that you want to tell me. Yeah, I used to tell you about, you're going to ask about,

which do you want to start with? Do you want me to tell you about the play? No. Do you want me to tell you about the music video? Or do you want me to tell you about the holiday I'm going on? Which door first? Okay, music video, please. Okay, amazing.

It's the best one. Yes. Yes. On Valentine's Day, guess what my girlfriend did give me? A music video. She told me about the existence of a music video. Wait, what? Mm-hmm.

So, on Valentine's Day, she was like, so this girl I kissed one time wrote a song about me. Suddenly Andrew perks up. And there's a music video. Available for the public. Yeah. and as my gift I got to watch it and play it as many times as I wanted

on the song on the Alexa so I can't tell you any of the further details because she said she said she said it could I would I was bullying if I was too specific and that it couldn't be traced back to her so you can ask me some questions and like judge what you think the answer is based on my facial movements if you want my Botox is wearing off

so it's a good time for this but um if you type in your girlfriend's name does it come up on YouTube? No was it low oh what's a good question oh it's a love track or a disc track oh it's a disc track

uh huh is it an original or a cover an original it's so fun I can't believe you can't tell us anything more about it I'll obviously show it to you after I really appreciate that

I think we and Andrew Lee to see it right now I will obviously show it to you but honestly it's the gayest thing I've ever seen and it's the most wonderful gift you could have given me But isn't the one, yeah, sure, but no, this is gay or I think. But wouldn't it, isn't it just the most wonderful gift to give your bitch of a girlfriend

is to be like, somebody slagged me off publicly once, would you like to watch it? And she gave that to me. And I just think, what a romantic. Did you have anything good to give her? She'd already watch Rose Battle. Okay. So. I mean, who hasn't?

It's a great clip. It's a good clip. It's a really good clip. Wow. My mother's hard, but it's a good clip. Yeah, but mother's hearts are meant to be broken. That's just part of the course. That's so true.

Yeah. Okay, I'll hear about the play now, even though usually that's the thing that will make me go. I'll keep it real short except to say that I went to see, she took me to ages of feeling, which felt like a diss track itself. Yeah, no. On Valentine's Day.

Fucking phenomenal. Strong recommend, really fucking good. I don't really like plays because I think they're long and boring, but it was good and short. Is it at the National? No, it's at Soho Theater. Short and good at the Soho Theater. What a review?

and good. I really liked it. It made me feel okay. No, like as a prince, this made me feel like, okay, like everything's okay. I'm like, like the world is going to be... I get that with Mama Mia.

Yeah, exactly. Like that feeling of like, it doesn't matter. Like, if you have three dads, you have three dads. Like, you don't need to know. It's so true. When you just did that sort of spitty laugh,

lots of you were spit, I felt it land on my hand. That's funny. I am going to hands out. I got spat on either day by someone by accident, but I had the dignity She not spent it out?

Was that not by accident? No, that wasn't accident. Okay, I was like, was that not by accident? I swear, I swear. Well, you've been busy and thriving then. Yeah. You don't tell me about the holiday you're going on? Oh my God, okay.

You're going to say I'm changing again. I'm not changing. You are changing. Well, no, it's her birthday, so we have to do something she wants to do. Yeah. Don't you hate that? I wouldn't know. I've never had a relationship.

Yeah, but you do force me to do things I don't want you. Yeah, Andrew, we're just having a laugh about that. He has a boyfriend, but you do force me to do things that I don't want to do on your birthday. You love them, though, when they're happening. Yeah, I love to track world. Let's go. Okay, so, and we're going to Iceland for six days. So mad.

That is not your terrain. No, but you look at a fucking struggle. He loves Wales. We're going to go stay. At one point, we're going out of the city where there are nice hotels. Yay! To stay in a hostel for two nights. And take a boat trip out to see him.

if we can see some killer way. I heard it. Did you have an internal panic attack? Are you? Did you catch it? I honestly think it's good for you to stay in a hostel because I don't think you've ever done it before. I've done it once in Paris.

And do you want to talk about it? I didn't sleep for it like eight days. Did you use the bathrooms? I'm meant to be in a hostel. It's like it's more my environment. Friends everywhere. It's just one big sleepover. Apart from the time I stayed in the hostel

and they have my cousin having sex across the room, which isn't incest, I just heard it, but either way, you're aware of it. Oh, no. Okay, well, yeah, we're staying in a hospital for two of the nights. The rest of the time I've booked the hotel, so everything's lovely. Okay.

We are going out on a boat to see some whales. That's actually going to be amazing. I hope we see some because she really wants to. What sort of whales? Killer whales. We're going to space specifically for orcas. Oh, my God. They're really nice, those whales.

fingers crossed we'll see some and we're also going on like a tour of like an 11 hour tour and a like we're going to go swim in those hot like volcanic oh i've seen yeah like the pictures of people of this like blue lagoon sort of the thing with steam coming off of it we're going to do all that jazz it's going to be so fun i feel so lucky to be going i do want to be clear but also like who am i are you going to stroke the whales but also are you proud of me i've taken more holidays in the last six months oh no i'm proud of you so i've taken since i started comedy i'm thinking about the whales yeah you went to my beef for in now Iceland. I don't think they're going to... I'm Paris. I'm Paris for two days. I don't count that one because I didn't get a gift.

Okay. I don't think that it's going to be a like pething the whales vibe. Depends on how close they come, I guess. Well, we might not even see them. We're just going out to the ocean and hoping that they'll be there. Well, you'd hope that they'd capture some

and put them in a small area so you can definitely see them. You'd hope that there was a guarantee if you're going all that way. No? No, I would not hope those. Because killer whales are actually... Just described three world.

Yes, that's very good, Andrew. Well done. It's devastatingly bad. Yes, but you do get a guaranteed visual on a whale, which is what people are looking for, isn't it? Yeah, okay. That C-Wy documentary is awful. It's horrific.

Blackfish. It's horrific. Tealty cool. And the way that the keepers are talking about it, like, yeah, we used to say, like, oh, one out of every five whales in the wild is a dorsal fin that falls over. And it's like, even I must know that's not true. It just goes to show how, like, mad,

like if you're told something enough times how you can believe it but then if you this the thing so I'm really into conservation just as a person that's just who I am always have been always will be I just believe that like conservation our planet's the most important thing

I've watched a lot of David Attenbran I've been it is my key people meet me they go you know Helen come on big Helen the conservationist like and I'm like whey and I arrive in my hemp hat with like my sort of like sign this

to save orangutans but I do I love if you're a few were petition girl I could really I could lean into that I'd get so many signatures I was a petition girl in school yeah no of course you were of course I was yeah for stricter rules on the uniform

actually I just really desperately didn't think that PE should be compulsory I thought if you wanted to go study in the library you should be allowed no one signed oh Catherine oh that got really sad yeah I was the only school librarian like student librarian in my school oh dear

yeah the librarian was amazing she was so cool I love hanging out with her the other librarians the the one who was hired no well so basically we got hired the hired librarians got fired in a sort of sort of budget saving trip ah all they brought in new librarians the only librarians were the student librarians so I had quite a million over that way whereas I volunteered to work there at lunchtimes for free and asked simply for a badge and did the work of the paid woman who worked there but also told her like all of my problems so I think she loved it I think the librarian at our secondary school didn't like me

why I just got bad vibes with her and also once me my friends uploaded something on the intranet do you remember the internet yes we uploaded something on the internet that she didn't think she should be there what was it I'd rather not sorry what was it Helen just like you know that hey when you're like right okay right you know when you become really horny and you think you're a sexual being but technically you're still a child but you were putting the sexuality on yourself. So I went through this really weird phase so that one time I stayed after school late

to do, you know when you're doing like an artsy GCSE you have to stay late to do the project work? I obviously didn't do an artsy GCSEA. Okay, well I did textiles. Of course you did. Just me and a couple of the gals. Emma black, one of the textiles galsies. Hi Emma!

And we'd have loads of fun because Ella Keensel would always order Domino's pizza into the school and she introduced us all to a barbecue base. It was mad. You could get Domino's ordered to your school. couldn't, but we did. What the fuck? They got in the grass and meet them at the gate.

And then I was, okay, there was a flagpole in the centre of our school, which is where people sort of like usually met to walk home at the end of the day or at lunchtime. And everyone else had left, so I used the flagpole as a stripper pole. Did you take your clothes off? No, I didn't take my clothes off, but I was like, I was, I would have been impregnated if the pole had the ability to do it. Right.

Like I was like. Did you sit on the pole? I was just physically very involved. Okay. I'd rather say that. Okay. And so did you take a video or a series of photos? No.

There's a TV at the school. And so upwalks the... This is awful. Carry on. The caretaker, like, walks up the pathway. And it's like, I can see what you're doing, young lady. Get off that bowl. I see what you're doing.

And I was like, I'm the most beautiful woman of the world. Obviously with acne. Like, nothing going well. Phenomenal. It'll be beautiful. I'll tell the headmaster about. this. Helen, you can be beautiful and have an acme, you just can't be sexy in a child. But how do you not know which the issue is?

I was 14 and I had a full breast. What was I supposed to do? Waste it. Wasted. One full tear. The other's still budding through just the nipple. And he came up and he was like, I'm going to tell the headmaster about what you're doing. And I was like, you can't do that. That means that you filmed me doing it.

And I was like, you film me doing a dance. I'm just doing a dance at my friend. You're the worst. I know. You're the worst. You gave that man nine. Of course, of course, he's like, I'm going to be, I'm going to jail because she danced like a whore in front of this video camera.

And then we all had like pictures of us because when we were 13, we did that sexy photo shoot for my birthday. I remember telling you about this before. Like, where we were all like posing like, we've got a secret. Our clits are really hard. Oh, God. Oh, God. But we were like, but that's the only way when you were to pose in America's Mexico.

I blame the USA. I don't want it. So we're posing like that. And then we'd upload them on the internet. He was a librarian who was just a very nice woman Was like right Come here Like these are these images are explicit

And we're like The internet works for 24 hours They're up there not explicit But they were definitely like suggestive You know when you're like We were not even in the same world In school I know but I'm Lola from Big Mouth and you're not

I'm missing I'm missing As I said I thought I was Jesse but I'm Missy. I would never speak to my mom the way Jesse does. I'm Missy. You never had a temper tantrum

with your mom as a teenager. I'd occasionally go very quiet. I cannot believe that we'd do the same job. I would come home from school and mum would be like, how was your day? And I'd be like,

you never asked me anything about me. I'm fucking bitch. Wow. Like straight in. If I did that, the reason that I wouldn't do that is because if I did do that, I wouldn't get to close the door

before my mother would have it ripped off its hinges and be holding me by the hair. Yeah, my mom's liberal. She just wanted to talk about my feelings. Oh, my mom would talk about my feelings when she was done telling me hers. Oh.

Which would be disrespected in her own fucking half. You missed out on being a teenager. No, I was a teenager, but in my world, teenagers are meant to be terrified of their moms. More terrified than they are of, like, not doing drugs, not ever having a drink, not going out.

I think you were terrified of everything. I think you were terrified of going out to do P.E. I didn't, I wasn't terrified of not doing Pee. I was terrified of filling exams when we were wasting time having fun. Oh, that's really sad. Isn't that sad, Andrew? Oh, my God, okay, yes.

We all had stuff going on. It's like that thing in Booksmart where the girls like get into the university. Oh, I have never related more to a story. And then they realized that everyone else got into the same universities but they also went out and had fun. And it's like, oh no. But then you can look at it.

Look at what you achieved and what I achieved. Helen, didn't we go see Booksmart together with Alison Spittal? I went with Rosie Jones. Who should I go with my sister? Whoever it was, I was sat beside, turned to me and went, oh God, that's you. And I was like, shut up! I went with Rosie Jones and I remember it

because we had a full cinema to ourselves. What? And we got two meal deals each. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know when it's like you just have to double down because it's never enough? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice. Okay, cool. Should we bring on our guest? I feel like we've chatted. Yeah, okay. Wow. Wow. Okay.

Oh, sorry. Do you want to tell me one more thing about yourself? Oh my God, no, forget it. It's fine. I just was wondering how you are and, like,

wanted to know if you had anything going on with your week, anything exciting. Okay. Yeah. I'll report back on Iceland when I'm going back. Do you want to run down

of what's happening for me? Obviously. Period. Out of nowhere. Absolutely shocked by it. What? How many weeks since the last one? Hang on, how many?

Three and a half still didn't see it coming. Okay, so exactly. So basically clockwork. Yeah. Didn't see it coming. Faginal assist? What do you mean? I got like another little sis

next to McClit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These keep happening around my period. I'm not clean. I am clean enough. I am clean enough. And that's what really mattered. Okay, so no.

I've done about four previews of the new show. Each of them, I've said an entirely new 50 minutes for no good reason. The tweets are great. Because I can't. The tweets lie! The audiences have been amazing. And I have been like, I mean, I'm telling you now,

if you want to see a good show, come to my early previews. I think we're done for the early previews of this year. You can just come see previews. Come to see my early previews. All of the data on my website. There you go. But like for me,

you definitely want to be there for the first five or six. Yeah, holy shit. Do you get information that should just be for a therapist office? Yeah, me too.

I also give information that like I could be sued for it. Mine's mostly just like, oh, can't say that because it's defamation. Oh, can't say that because it's defamation. No. Yeah.

So yours is like too many feelings. Me is like too honest. Oh my God. I give like a full medical history out. Yeah. Like I started my show last night being like I wasn't going to do a show this year but I feel like I have to

because I'm worried I'm going to die soon. Which I am very concerned about. Yeah. But like the audience just immediately go like, what? And then you've got an hour of an audience going like, you're not okay. But you're all right.

Yeah. To be clear, if you did die soon, you'd want everyone to keep giving to the Patreon. Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to die soon soon. It's more that like... Yeah, but like, let's just say you did like just to be clear, like you'd actually want people to triple their donations to the Patreon, right? Yes.

You'd want them to keep supporting the podcast. Please give to the Patreon. also can you maybe actually maybe this is better to instead of sitting with it myself my concern for my life is that I'm not going to have a long life because I'm just wondering could people write in

has anyone ever seen like a really tall old woman yeah you shrink baby you'll get real hunched over your posture's going to be terrible with those boobs babe you're going to get real hunched over I don't know what happens to tall big gals no tall big gals just disappear

Spend in pictures of your tall big girls. Also, Helen. 60 plus. Helen, shall we in the extras talk about your ideal funeral just in case? Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, okay, great. It's done.

And also I've got to tell you what happened in therapy last week. Oh, my God, join the Patreon and tune in by that. She made you draw. We have to talk about it. Okay, extras, extras. Thank you so much for listening. Enjoy Kat Cameron. Bye.

Bye. Hello, thank you so much for listening to Trusty Hearts. Thank you so much. We just wanted to jump in really quickly and give our patron a little plug because it is thriving over there. Yeah, thanks so much to everyone who's joined. And if you want to join us, there's no pressure. Please enjoy the podcast otherwise.

But if you do want to join us, there's so many benefits. You get an early access to the episode. You get an extra episode a week. And you also get early access to our live shows. Now, the last one sold out in under 24 hours. So you want to be a patron if you want to come to the one on June 4th, which will be on sale very soon. please join, please sign up, please get a ticket

and hey, thanks to everyone who has already. And just a reminder, if you sign up now, there are over 70 extra episodes that you can access immediately. How many? Over 70, Catherine. It's unbelievable, but for now, please continue enjoying Trustee Hodge.

Bye! Get going! Oh my God! Are we jumping right in? Yes! I told you girls I'm so honored to be here because I see these clipies on my Instagram and I see why are they going to invite me

into their lair. I want to be in the lair. We had to wait for you to be in the UK to invite you in. It's very cozy. It's a good vibe. Are you having a nice time in the UK? Oh, I've been having the best time. On tour? The tour was incredible. I was humbled in certain locations You have to be. You have to be.

Highlights, low lights, please. Highlights? I mean, the London show was amazing. Of course. I did the Hackney Empire. It was stunning beautiful. Glasgow is my favorite crowd They were nuts They're always mad Yeah

Scottish and Irish audiences are incredible Because they will interrupt you Exclusively to tell a better story than you were And you're like, are you kidding me? Are you what are you? So crazy Newcastle as well I always want to put a shout up in Newcastle I didn't go there but Brighton was really fun as well

Yeah Comedia is so good And then You know Norwich really kept me grounded I will Norwich because Because they just didn't They weren't high

They were a little You know what I would say There's always like Two or three rows of like beautiful young gays Who understand and feel seen And I'm connecting with them And I would take a bullet for all of them And then like

Sort of confused older people in the back Who were just like Something's on in Norwich We'll go Oh god I know Birmingham was Was better than I thought Yeah where else did I go

Leeds was beautiful But a little I'm gonna say this If you live in Leeds You didn't come And you didn't come you're the problem because there were some empty seats there.

Oh my God, leave. And I'm not afraid to admit that because we have to be real. We have to talk about. They can't all be home runs. They can't be home runs. I'm like, they can't be home runs. No, but they can. I was humbled and Norwich on my tour

as well. Small audience. And so like I think a lot of people get humbled in Norwich because there's like a venue that's the size of like 80 and then the next step up is 350. There's nothing in between. That's exactly the issue, yeah. So like you are

either have to go, like, super small, or you take a risk and go big, and it's like, it's very humbling. I went small and was still humbled. Really? I risked it all. I risked it all. I went small, and so the small venue is a pizza restaurant. And I was like, this is going to be great. We've got a free pizza. And all the pizzas are like, we're wacky and zany. It's nothing like anything you've had before. So, like, all the pizzas are like a twist. Like, if you want ham and pineapple, is pulled pork and braced pineapple. Like, everything's got, like, calm down a bit, though, with that. It's like Taco Extreme Pizza.

Give it a second. And it is, and I was thriving in the pizza environment. But then the venue is usually doing musicians. So then for the tech, like, usually I'm a stand-ups. I just show up, and I'm just like, oh, just speak. And then this. They had, like, lights down the side. So any time I did anything that resembled a punchline, it was like,

and all the lights flashed. And, like, my punchline would be like, so anyway, I'm morbidly obese. That sounds amazing. Yeah, but to 25 people. You, you're family. Their family. At this point, you're all family. You told me you're going to Olive Garden when you go to New York.

That's their tagline. You're going to Olive Garden? No, it's not. When you're here, your family, that's their tagline. That's so cute. You're going to Olive Garden. Can you get me some breadsticks, please? Can you travel back with breadsticks?

Yeah, why not? There's no rules. There's no rules. I'll do it. I'm going to go to Olive Garden in New York. And my other thing I really want to do is go to the museum from a night at the museum with Ben Stiller. Totally.

I know he doesn't actually work. No, he might, but he might be there. Yeah. You never know. New York, like, there's just people wandering around all the time. Maybe he's having a low self-esteem day and he needs to be seen in that environment so that somebody would be like, oh my God, are you? Yeah, the night of a museum guy.

What's the must do in New York City? Ooh, culture swap, yes. Oh, I don't know. I mean, just kind of walk around and be like, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Just like walk around and look around and be like, I'm here. That's kind of I do what I'm here too. I'm just like, I'm here.

Is that it? That's all you do? You're going to be just so, like, it's the same, like, people just go nuts. They're going to go nuts for you. They're going to go nuts for your accent, your vibe, your energy. No. You're going to fall in love with you.

You're going to fall in love. Are you single? Are you looking for love? I am. Oh my God. Great question, Katowin. You should fuck. Yeah, I agree.

You should shop for clothes in a fucking city that lets you. That would be nice. Right? They've got plus size in America everywhere. You know what? It's better than here. Is it better than here?

Okay. Here is terrible. Well, what's bad about here too as you walk in and I'm like, I'm a US 12 and they're like, okay, so you're actually like a UK like 45. I know it's whatever but there are some good spots

I can recommend some good spots for sure I've had Forever 21 has a plus side section They do, they have a plus side section And that's in time square Sure, I'm sure it is Yeah I feel like that's not what cat was gonna recommend Okay

There's definitely good spots It's interesting that you think it's better in the US Because I still am like so angry all the time Oh no it's dog shit everywhere Let's be clear But I think that there's a little bit more scope In the US only because there are more people So there's more people to cater for

Target and bought a swimming costume. That's like, it's amazing. But that's not possible here. Oh, that's not possible here. To, like, to just walk into, like, you couldn't walk into, like, the equivalent being Sainsbury's or test. So we have to go to, like, a designated shop for us. Because, like, we don't believe that women should mix in this society in Britain.

And I do stand by it. I think if we mix in our roles of, like, big women, small women, old women, young women. It would never work. We'll all unionise and get equal pay. And it's just like, oh, we don't deserve it yet. Also, what have we learned from each other? then we can't repeat the same mistakes would we are born to do.

So there's an older shop called Bon Marchet which is for the bigger older lady who just needs everything buttoned because like God forbid they'll figure out zip you know what I mean

because we'll just get a fat confused in it it's just really difficult and then Simply Bee which is a big girl shop but is having a massive problem at the moment because there's only a couple

of Simply Bee shops and for some reason all of them require stairs to get up and down to and big alasses in general if we're shopping we don't want to do stairs and then change

because then it's just sweat and changing I got you. The changing is fucking exhausty. You know what I will say. Growing up, there was a chain where I grew, I think it's a chain all over the States. It's called Catherine's plus sizes.

And my brothers would be like, well, Catherine, that's your store. Like, bullying me as a child. But you know what? Nice guys. It was my store. It was my store. But I will give you a list.

I have some research. I want fashion. So you know how like the noughties are back in? Yeah. Is naughty is like 2000s? Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm seeing some really scary stuff

when it comes to skirts and pants. Yes. Oh my God. I'm feeling unsafe. There's a lot of... Is it the low-rise? Is it the low-rise? Gerts and low-rise jeans.

Low, low-low. Low-rise jeans. But did you not... I thrived in that bohemian vibe of the noughties. Like a loose belt? Yeah. The loose like waist belt

and then sort of like a top that like really like was there for the breast but gave the shoulder a moment. You can just tell that you were a tall, thin, like a very booby teenager. Really booby. Wow.

I would say like... Havish but like that was my ear. It was the be... low-rise jeans I really struggled with but what I thrived with the noughties were statement t-shirts but the ones that were like unnecessarily sexually suggestive

for the 12 year old you want Getting lucky in Kentucky Do you have one of those? We had lots of like little cartoon girls saying like daddy's little whore Yeah totally I was never allowed to have a juicy cout tracts Why? Because it's that juicy on your ass

and my mom was like fuck no You can have one now they're back I have one Yeah that's amazing Would you get it? Juicy.com Oh my gosh Do you see and I really kind of the other thing I am excited for is Buffaloes being back. What's the buffalo?

Chunky shoes. Spice Girls. Mm-hmm. I love those. Platform shoes. Yeah. Platform trainers. I know.

I'm two, I'm six foot one. I'm not going to put. Keep going. Yeah. Keep going to give up there. You're going to give up at six one. I bump my head so much.

Oh, I know. Come on. You seem like a tall energy. Thank you. Yeah. I'm 5.7. Okay. Yeah.

Which I always say is tall for a girl. It's so tall for a girl. And tall for my age. Yeah. I just brought my. new girlfriend home, she's 5-7, and my parents are 5-1 and 5-2 respectively, and she towered over them. They were like, what a freakish

hype are we actually having this conversation? Was it a good vibe? It was nice. It was nice. How new? How long is it really? Six months. Oh my God, that's the best part. Yeah, my mom taught her cards so that they could just hang it together. I think my mom was like, oh, it's just a two-person game because my mom loves to flirt. We had the same

taste of women. It's very sweet. I can't believe we just had a conversation about 5-7 being a time. Are you fucking are you fucking kidding? Helen. Helen? Edinburgh, did you really? But yes, but also can we never say

lover ever again? Are you dating someone? Put me in jail, put me in the hospital. Yeah. Put me in the hospital they put you in when you're in jail like the special one

with someone has to watch you. Yes, that's where I want to be. You're sick and wrong. That's where I want to go on vacation. Yeah. Please tell us what about you? What's your dating? I am, my boy.

You have a boy. I know. He's stood on men, but okay. Well, actually, you'd be so proud. We just started our threesome journey. Oh my God, congratulations. It's like my life's changed. I didn't know you were doing a three.

Threesome journey. That's so exciting. What does the threesome journey mean? Do you start with like, we just like talked about it forever and I was like, are we ever going to fucking do this? And then we went to an open bar event and that's kind of the rest of history. And what is an open bar event? Like the one that like, no, like you don't pay for drinks. Okay, but you said that like, sorry, sorry. I'm jumping. I'm going A to Z. I wasn't sure. Yeah, you really are. I wasn't sure the event was like for people who are open in relationship as an event at a bar. Or you're just like, it's an open bar. People will want to have three something there. It was just like vibey, like drunk fun night and everyone was just sort of everyone was dressed up everyone was like there

were vibes gorgeous and then I made it happen you found a sudden oh my god that's excited and then once you unleashed that now that I've unleashed that power within me I'm like is your boyfriend buy no I mean no no he he sort of I think he could be actually okay yeah are you I never thought I was but here I am but yes okay nice coat welcome Okay, so exciting. I was always so obsessed with men that I never thought about it, but then you try it

and you're like, this is amazing. But maybe you're just full stop obsessed, like just everything. No, I'm just generally horny. Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah, that's exactly it. And so, yeah, it's a beautiful new chapter in our relationship.

Okay, so may I ask follow-up questions? Of course. I'm glad that it was great. How do you find the balance of talking to the person ever again afterwards? Do you just not? I actually am really wondering that as well. Like if you were

texting her afterwards I was just like Girlfriends Hey girls So great to see you Thanks for having a nice evening With us So good to host

If he's texting her after What the fuck are they talking about? He's not texting He can't no That's not okay I'm allowed to do whatever I want And he can't do anything I respect that

No Oh my God If he was texting No And that's my question I was just wondering So Repeat invite

Or different people It's been two different people Can grass I think that's better Like a revolving door I agree, I don't know what it would be like to do it again with someone. I do think, you know, we're learning. Yeah.

I will say the first time, like, no, I'm proud to say the first time no one came. Which is quite a feat. But you're figuring it out. It's like the first time you have sex, like in general. Like, it's like, everyone needs attention. But have you got the time to give that much attention to one person? Oh, no. Me touching a puss.

I was like, like, what do I do? Also, operator. And I was like, S-O-S. It was so fun though. I was like, but I was so, it didn't matter because I was just so, like, drenched. terny, I was just like, oh, woo! Also, you went to an open bar event.

If everyone's hammered, the likelihood anyone's going to come in so much lower. I actually was so proud that I, like, remember it all, which was so important to me. That's so good. If I saw a person, I just want to check it was close to mine. Like, I just want to know that mine isn't, like, completely wildly different to everyone else. So you Google it every now and again, but they're either, like, insane medical specimens, like blue waffle, where it's, like, just an infection that they're showing you. What is Blue Waffle?

Blue Waffle is, like, a famous, like, image of a very infected vagina that went around the school. That's the worst thing I've ever. Me too, me too, me too, we're like slimy blue, grey, green. We have to talk about women's health. We must. We must discuss women's health. It's not fake, Andrew. It's fake, I swear that.

Oh, I've never heard this. I've had this conversation before. This is scary. But now I want. This is so exciting. It is really exciting. But to circle back, because I would say, I've only had the reasons where it's like all single people. Yeah.

It's actually harder in a situation where you have a couple, I imagine, because it's like, you guys know how you have sex with each other, but the other person doesn't know how you guys have sex. Totally. You guys have sex with, and yeah, that's interesting. It was a very, it felt very fun and romantic because he, my boyfriend's like, I have to say this, he's just amazing and like so thoughtful and like in tune.

No, no, no, no. Like, okay. That's not real. Yeah, obviously, that's not real. Helen. It's so great. But that's the thing. So like, I mean, we need to use some professional health.

My vagina's not like blue, but like you want to, like I'd want to check. Like when I saw your vagina. Yeah, and if it is blue, we support you. and we stand with you and we love you. Mine's more like, it's purple. It's purple. Yeah. It's like very, like, sometimes it looks like an oil slick and I'm like, oh, that's an infection, but it's not.

It's just like the way that she is at the time. Totally. Because like me and my vagina, like in general, we're close, but we definitely are at odds with like what we need to do to take care of each other. Really? No one of how much. Do you go full bush or what do we do in here on this? What do we do on trusty hogs?

I'd say like a reasonable bush, but with like a lot of trimming. Okay, okay. But like. I waxed. Do you really so powerful? But can I say? Hurts so much. Can I say, I love on somebody else.

Really? I love a book. Okay. Even if it goes all the way. I love it. I think like, all the way up all around. Here's what I'm saying. My boyfriend says his favorite.

This is what I fucking hate. He says his favorite is the most impractical thing where it's like you have the bush on top. Then the actual pus is like smooth. That's what I get done. I'm like, well, that's the most painful part to get done. Yeah. I don't have the top ripped off. I actually disagree.

I think it's easier to get the under parts done than the top. Oh, no. Those fucking strong hairs at the top. I listen. But I've been waxed for a long time. Yeah. I've used to wax myself. It's hell.

That's not right. I would like fill an evening with wax strips just to like pass the time. Did it ever go really wrong? You're like, yeah, blue waffle. I never lost an important part of my anatomy, but the fear that I would was high. Oh, God. Like everything's still there where it's supposed to be, I hope. I have the sternest woman who does mine.

I take painkillers and half an hour before I go there. How often do you have to do it? like once every three and a half four weeks I'm fair okay I'm quite fair commitment and and I'm very consistent with it so it's gotten much easier oh I know I know exactly what you mean

yeah but she is honestly like one time I was like that's fine you know like when you're having one of those days where you're like it's as much as I can handle it she was like I'm a perfectionist it's not about you she needs her pussy is to be clean she's like it's not about you

I need it to be right and I was like well now I'm a aroused. Yeah, I know you're like, yes ma'am. Yeah, I was like, well, now it's weird. Okay, great. But then you don't get that fun thing of like doing the nail clippers around the edge.

Not the nail clippers, the nail scissors. Do you ever do that? Like, nail scissors, like the... I know what you're saying. The horse of hairs that are really close to the holes area. Holes area. Oh, oh my God. God forbid me for not being a scientist, the vagina.

It's really nice because I like to think that if there's any man who does listen to our podcast in any sort of like male gazey way. way every time we get close to something sexy, i.e. your threesome chat, we will immediately. Of course. And that's important. Talk about holes and fluids and all that. But it's like at what point are you shaving or waxing the pussy and not

the leg anymore? Because like the older you get, the more your pubes travel. Shaving and waxing that. So like, you know, like so it's like pubic, pubic, pubic and then it gets the upper thigh. I see. And you're like, okay, what part is leg hair, what part is pubs? Because they start getting coarser, right? So then you get a bit lost in the motion.

My leg is like, We don't relate to that. At what point are you waxing your pussy and at what point are you doing the asshole area? Like, where's the line with the tank? I would love to go in and just get my asshole. That would be really nice. You can.

But I can't. I can't walk into a room. We can't walk into a room. We can over and be like, here we go. Yes, I can. You can. Girls, I mean, you'd want to clean beforehand. Like, don't go in with an asshole.

It's not dirty. Well, you know, somebody else needs to be told up. circling back to your boyfriend being really considerous. How long have you been dating, by the way? Almost four years, like three something. Yeah. So you waited until three year mark

and then this is great. Well, you know, it's amazing because in the early stages I would have been so jealous and psychotic but then now I'm finally in a place where I'm mature. And within him too, yeah. And he's thoughtful and considerate about it, you said?

Yeah, like it was, he would be like, I mean, he's just like, I'm so lucky, I can't believe it. New York is a day of dreams. He can't believe his luck. Oh, my God. Oh, that's so nice. And we kept telling him how lucky he was, which is also hot.

Yes. So lucky, bitch. And we had a little deep, we have a nice, a nice debrief after. And then when you have sex, just the two of you are going to, you have, like, all this fun material to, like, discuss. Yes. Yeah. Okay, this is making me more excited at the idea of getting in a relationship. Because I've never had one.

Ever. This is ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Are you fall straight? That's fine. But you, I still think that you could have fun enough reason. I know. I would love to fall in love with a woman. It just hasn't happened yet.

Totally. Apart from Catherine, because she's amazing. Oh, my God. You're all having so special. I will say. The other day I called her to be like, I love you. It was Valentine's Day and she's one of my greatest loves and so I called her and she screamed, no! And hung up the phone. I was on a train. What's going on there? What's going on? What's going on in here? What are you scared of?

Hell, being loved and being seen. Have you ever been in love? Yeah, but only unrequited. Oh. So I've loved someone so deeply knowing they don't love me back and then told them and then... Which ultimately...

Is it love at all? I mean, it is, but it isn't. I don't know. That's just savage reaction from back going to me. Oh, so you were in a minute. No, I'm just saying once you're actually in love

you'll be like, oh wait, this doesn't have to hurt, is what I mean? I agree. I mean, it as a positive. I agree. I've met the devil. I've shook her hand. Okay, so I have seen love.

Totally. It's just, I mean, I'm working with this a lot in therapy at the moment. I find myself innately very unlovable. Oh, that's. I know.

But you're so lovable. Look at the way we gaze at you. When I see your name up of my phone, I go, look at that girl. No, you don't. Literally there are endless, relentless clips that keep people who send photos of me just like, honestly, adoring you. I'm just like, there are just videos upon videos of like, so many photos of me just being like. It's coming. But why do I not see it, you know?

Oh, because none of us see it. Yeah. I mean, I have therapy in an hour and a half. So I think this is a good time. We can unpack it before then and you can cancel. That would be fucking. That would be fucking cash. That's so true.

I know. I think sometimes you just need, honestly, if it's like, it's a myth, you do need other people to tell you how lovable you are for you to believe it. You do need to be able, but you need to be able to accept it and not immediately reject it. You know, like when someone goes like, oh, you're lovable, you need to be able to go like, yeah, no, I am. And it's right that you love me because I'm a lovable person. Instead of when they say, I love you and you go like, oh, you fucking loser. You lose all. That one's bad. I used to do a different one, which was like, okay, thank you. You're now the, um, core of my value. You were now the decider and arbiter of my worth. Cool. So you're the only person who thinks that, so yeah, and that's also bad. I lean that way too, yeah. But I feel like I just need to figure out in relationship with my mom and dad before I fall in love. Do you know what I mean?

I think that... I don't think that's... No, but I feel like it's so important. Do you know what I mean? If me and Michael Bauer could just finally get in sync. But let me tell you this, it's like, you can't choose when you fall in love, it's just going to happen to you. It's like this, and then it's like this, and then it's like this. And it's like that. Wow. Wow.

Do you think it's going to happen to me in New York? 100%. That would be so youth. Fall in love with somebody and then be like, they live in New York. I'd be like, fucking hell. Okay, practical question before we go to advice then.

I booked a room in New York and I had a choice between a double bed or bunk beds and obviously I went for bunk bed. That's insane. Why would you do that? That sucks. What are you doing? Change that immediately.

Because you know when you're like in a new country and it's like you're like, you're sleeping is off whack. So then I was like, then if I can't sleep in one bed, I'll go sleep. In the other bed. You're not going to have jet like in New York.

And I will. I had it for about two and a half weeks when I was over here. I'm very fragile. Okay. They need to take you back to his place. They'll take you out to his place. Okay. No, that's not safe in a different country.

Oh, sorry. That's not safe. Yeah. I've done some bad. I've done some stupid things. Me too. Share your location. Yeah.

Share your location with us. I've also never had sex on a bunk bed. Helen, you're not having sex on a bunker bed. What? Why? Just get a double bed. Emails on tomorrow. Please.

Okay, I'll change it to a double bag. The only thing that's erotic about having sex in a bunk is when you're on the bottom bunk and you can like hold the ones on the top and you're like, oh! That's that noise, exactly. I've said too much.

Also, you can pretend that you're like a sleepaway camp. Like, hmm. Okay, that's no problem. Why does that always happen? The cops are here. It does it take you away? I always go back to child. Not child of teenagehood.

My sexiest year. A bohemian scar. Wow. Right, right. The loose belt. Loose belt, bohemian skirt, and a top that says Daddy's little slut across my little budding breath. When do you feel sexiest? Horrifying.

I wonder if you feel sexiest. Right now. That's such a good question. I don't know, all the time. All the time. No, no. I think it's like, I love that feeling when like you've been like sort of just disgusting slob and like you've wearing the same sweats for days. You don't have no makeup.

Your hair is greasy. And then you like do all the stuff and you look in the mirror and you're like, who the fuck is she? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. I do agree with that. Yeah.

I feel like also now that I'm, because I'm traveling right now, I'm kind of like all my best behavior. Like, I'm sort of wearing a nice... Like, I watched my hair last night, which is huge for me. Yeah. If we were doing this in New York, I'd be, like, crawling up

with, like, slime, leaking out of my nose. Like, it's not fair. This isn't fair. That's how I walk around London, just like... On all fours. I'm an original muntar.

Like, do you ever have muntar in America? It's like a minger, like someone who's just gross. Like, I've always got, like, something coming out of my nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm a bit leaky. You're wet.

Like, a bit smelly. Yeah, but not in like a hot way in a sort of like, is that a like doctor's sort of a thing? People either lean wet or dry. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, so I lean wet in general. Like I get home a lot.

I'm so clammy. Yeah. I'm really. Oh, clammy. But we would, we'd be muntas in the UK. It sounds like a slur. Thank you.

Okay. Okay. When do you feel sexy? Um, I do feel sexy in bed, 100% like with a guy. Like I do, I don't not feel sexy then. I feel very empowered.

Yeah, yeah. When else I feel sexy? The way you have sex makes it sound really sexy as well, though. Yeah. What's the way? What's the way you have sex? Like her ideal scenario and that she gets all this. I just get all of it.

While she drinks wine. While she drinks, she sat up drinking wine and they eat her out. I'm not levitating off my chair. They're not using. He's eaten pizza while she's been eaten out before. That was years ago, but it was incredible. At the place in Domino's pizza.

In Norwich. It's braced. It's brazed. We've got. time there's only 25 of you oh my god yeah oh my when do you feel sexiest do you want to say don't say when you're cleaning or something oh oh my god no your morning are you very clean always feel very i have like a diagnosed oCD but i would say uh no you're like it's not good for me no i would say uh i am similar to you when i've done all the bit like when i when i get to show up

somewhere without anybody having seen any of my preparation it's one thing I love about not living with my partner is like they don't get to see any of the steps in between. Like I love showing up with my nails done, my blow dry done, my makeup done my lashes on, everything in where it should be and then being like... Oh, what's this?

You know how to put together a lick. Yeah, and then being, like, today I have done that... No, you look's done. No, and that's okay, but I love... The hair, I mean, it's always amazing. Thank you, but I love showing up and being like... What? Yeah. And I also, when I feel sexiest is when I do a big lip,

And she can't kiss me. Oh, that's hot. I love that. It's all about restraint. It annoys her so much. That's nice. It annoys her so much. Do you do a red lip a lot?

Yeah. Or like, sometimes a plum. Oh. And she gets so annoyed and it's so fun. That's amazing. That's probably, yeah, that's probably it. That's a good answer. You feel sexiest when people are sexually frustrated is the answer.

When I'm in charge, yeah. Totally. Yay. I love it. Andrew, baby, I'm ready. I'm ready to solve anyone's problem, whatever it is. I can do it. Hello, well, I've got two for you.

Which one would you? like to start with, either a parenting problem or a by curiosity problem? Cat can choose a parenting or a by curiosity? Yeah. The second one for sure. Yeah. We'll do parenting on the extras. Okay, fab.

So, hi, trusty hogs team. This is from L. Hi, Al. Hey, L. Hey. I love this podcast. I'm not a podcast listener generally, but I watch yours every week. Thank you so much. What about mine? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. You should check at Cal.

You should check it. Oh, you don't care about my podcast? She didn't know you'd be here, but now that she does. I bet she's watching it. The problem is bi-curious. She's going to watch it. Totally. Go on, go on. I want some advice as I've recently been exploring

whether I'm bi-curious. For context, I'm 33 and have been in a relationship with a man for 14 years. And I've never considered that I'm anything other than straight. So I'm finding it all a bit overwhelming. So she's been with this man since she was 19. Whoa. Wow, that's crazy. Good math.

I know, that was really fast. That was enough. Okay, listen, that's fine. The American education system is terrible. That was really fast. Go on. The trigger for all of this was watching ER Fightmaster on Graze and Ashley.

Yeah, that makes so much sense. I found myself really watching certain clips of them. Wait, what is that? ER is an amazing actor. Really hot. They are so hot. They were in shrill. Okay.

I thought ER was a TV show. It's a person. No, ER Fightmaster is an actor who is so fit. I follow them on Instagram. They are very fit, wow. They're lovely. They're insanely hot.

Love is for them. Started to think, oh, am I attracted to you sort of moment? Decided not to analyze it too much and shrugged it off. But then I made friends with a woman at yoga, who is bisexual, and we get on really, really well. It's the first female friend I've had in a long time, and she seems to fully get me. Yay! I've also had some other thoughts about her, which took me by surprise. Yes.

Dot, dot, dot. start. So I've been googling what being by Curious means and at first I was quite excited and intrigued by all. I'm just showing hell in a picture of ERA Fightmaster. Yeah, all as hell, gorgeous. However, the more I've read, the more I've been completely overwhelmed with all the different labels, whether it's wrong to say

bisexual, all the different terminology, what's politically incorrect, etc. And it's making me not want to analyze or explore anything because it's just making me panic and too anxious. Do you have any advice on what to do how to explore this side of myself, what I'm feeling. Thanks, Elle. Okay, well, if you're by curious and I'm definitely by curious,

if it's just fancying or thinking about being as like a woman, then 100% you are by curious, but I am definitely as well. Are you kidding? Joe March. We're known a rider as Joe March. Yes. Yes. You kidding me? Yes. Yes. Yes.

In fact, give me all the March sisters, oiled up. Permanent and Paddling Paul, let's wrestle, bitches. You know, like, mommy just watching. But everyone's always on the verge of incense. But mommy just watching. Sisters is fine, sisters and sisters.

You know what I mean? Okay, guys, let's go back to the, let's go back to L. Yes, you're bycureus. I think it's, right? 100%. But I think who isn't? Who isn't? I would think, yeah, I mean, all of that, but also,

I just think that you're, it's supposed to be fun. There's no pressure. You don't have to do anything. Nobody, like, you literally, you can never, ever, ever be with a woman. And if you were by, if you say you're by, you're by, but also, I think, like, coming from it from the labels, I get it. But, like, it really is leading by, leading from, like, a place of what other people

will think or need to know rather than what you think or need to know. Or, like, until you want to tell anyone, you don't really need to concern yourself about that. And even when you do, there's, like, you'll get it wrong. Like, you're always wrong. Like, some people, if you say you're by, will be like, well, oh, it's a binary. So you're, okay, so you're, are you, like, like, what I mean to say is like, I, when I was growing up, the word was by. So it made sense if I came out tomorrow, probably be pan.

I usually tend to say queer. Who gives a fuck? The main thing is, I love, love, love women. And everybody else, too. I'm just, I think of what you said earlier is like, I'm crazy horny all the time for everyone. Totally. But my point is, like, it just feels like leading from the wrong place. Which is like, it sounds like you saw an incredibly hot person on the television.

Congrats for now. And then. You're alive. You're alive. You're alive. You're alive. I love that you went to yoga immediately after this. Also, yoga makes me really horny.

Yes. It puts the blood in your clip. And also, okay. Just not get me going. For me, it's more that when you go there, it's like always topless men. What I go to, there's always so many topless men. I mean physically, like when I bend over, I'm like, Oh, really?

Certain position. Whereas I'm just like, everybody's sweating and sexy. Okay, I've gone to Bikram Yoga a couple of times. That's not a very... I know exactly what you mean. And it's just one really bendy older woman at the front of the class showing off.

Oh, no, okay. That's it. It's not... You're going to want to go to a younger vibe. My dad went to Bickram Yoga once. He just sat at the back and just wooft. I love when they tell you it's okay to sit. It's like...

Oh, yeah, it's... Sebastian. It's okay. You're getting all the benefits, even if you lay down for five minutes. I'm like, that's not. Not true. I'm like, okay.

And I love yoga. Sebastian girls is my favorite position. Sovath. Open your eyes and the teacher just on the phone. That's also a very sexy position. Which one, cobbler? So you lie in your back, put your knees up and then open them and you just like, like, love them like the little. Heaven.

Yeah. Yeah. Release those hips. Release the hips. Anyway, the point is, yes, you sound like curious, but also you're worrying about the, I think, the outcome of you in the future versus like, it sounds like you should just enjoy your newfound. content for wanking and maybe tell your boyfriend if you feel like you need to. Totally. So just not just jump on the clear of the person in the yoga class.

Just to like find out once and for all. Oh, I mean, I just think like sometimes just like throw yourself into it. I'm not going to recommend cheating on her boyfriend. I just think, throw yourself into it. I think tell your boyfriend. I'll probably think it's hot. Yeah. And then tell your boyfriend how lucky he is that you're going to invite your yoga friend over it. That's what I'm saying.

Oh my God. She's a genius. Yeah. We solved it. Just enjoy it and don't think about what it's called. Wait, three-sum was a jump. Do you think? I think three-sum is a lot of outcome.

Or even just talking about, like, whatever you're open. So tell him about it so that you can talk about it. So then you might feel more comfortable with it because you're sharing it with your partner. Yeah. If you're trying to get a threesome, I would say, go the other way. Say, ask him how he feels about a threesome.

Trick-a-Mint thing is his idea and then invite her in. Like my big factory wedding. I wouldn't be like, I fancy this girl. I'd be like, so like, what do you think of threesome? And then I'd be like, that's crazy because I just met this girl. The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants. Wow.

Oh, my mind is fun. Philosophy. What's that from? My big fact, Greek wedding. Everything she says is from that or Mamma Mia. Two incredible films. Philosophy. That is it.

I just get the Greek spirit. The woman is the net. Yeah. Love that. Yes. Welcome. But yeah, I think I relate to what you're saying. I also think like growing up, you know, I think we were all taught to assume we were straight.

And so if you are, if you do like, it's easy to be like, oh, this is what I like. Yeah. And then all of a sudden we're living in this wonderful world where everyone can be everything and you're like, oh, what am I? Just enjoy it. Yeah. But also like. You're looking straight to Cam? But I do think like, if you fancy ER Fightmaster, you're just like conscious.

Yeah, totally. I'd say like, yeah, you're alive and well. Yeah. Everything's good. I fancy ER Fight Master. I am a gay man. Solve it. So fit.

Enjoy being alive and turned on. And I think be as honest with your partner as possible because they're just going to, they're going to relate to it because it's unrealistic to think you'd never be attracted to anyone but them for the rest of your life. They haven't just masturbate in the bathroom so they don't get jealous. Like, get a shower running, sort of pretend you're going for big toilet. Say you're going big toilet. And what's shrill, because ER has an incredibly hot queer story in shrill?

What, shrill is, I know shrill. It's the, yeah, of course, I've seen it. How have I not, um... Because you never even, this is why I don't think you're by curious. You forget anything queer about stories. That's true. I try to. I'm having a horrible time of it.

Awful. Um, Cash, you've just done a tour in the UK. Thank you for noticing. Yeah. It was, there were high several long. I'm reeling. You've just in a tour. You're on your threesome journey.

You're in your recent phase. I didn't want to say that. On your journey, exactly. So, where can people find you for either? In the hospital that's in the jail. Where do they find me? Yeah. Well, you know, I, I, um, I quit.

Twitter so they can find me on Instagram and TikTok. Oh, God, that sounds so nice. I know. I didn't know you quit Twitter. You know, I wasn't using it and I was kind of like, I've gotten really into TikTok and I was like, this is the future. Heaven. Heaven. Yeah. And what's your handle? You know, it's kind of that one of those things where you couldn't get the handle I want in any situation. Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. L.O.L. Instagram is Kat C. Cohen. I know that Cat C. Cohen. Cat will be tagged in everything. I know that much.

And TikTok is Cat underscore Cohen. Okay, great. You know what? That's still a good one. That's still cute. Yeah, underscore is good. I wish I didn't have the extra C in the Instagram, but I've messaged the woman who has Kat Cohen. She said it would be too confusing for her family if we switched.

Fuck all. So I wish I do celebrate. Fuck all. I want to send her love and light. No, you fucking know. Same to Helen Bauer. We've met a couple of times. I do love you.

Give me my handle. There's a Helen Bauer who's kept your handle? Yeah, but she's really nice. and she comes to his house. Yeah. Nice. What the fuck? Damn.

Well, Bauer and Cohen are very common surnames. I'd be furious. Wow, okay. We're making it work. We're making do with what we've been dealt. No, give them their handles, bitches. They're more famous than you.

No. What is for him? It's an illusion. God knows what Helen Bauer could become. True. You will be. Okay, you're stopping them paying their rent. Some people can't find them because they can't find them when.

You're lovely young girl in Berlin. I wish her all the best. Hope you're happy. Also in Berlin. Hope you're happy. You'll Kat Cohen's in Berlin. No, no, no. Mine's in Berlin.

Yeah. That's so funny. That was like great. I was wondering if your paths had crossed. Yeah, back in the day. Oh, my God. Yeah, me and Helen Bauer. We met through Instagram and Twitter because she was getting tagged in stuff when I was like first doing comedy.

And then she'd always forward it. She's very sweet. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, do you live in Berlin? Like, I'm in Berlin. And then we hung out. At the point with your forwarding messages, just give me my. That's interesting.

She's very sweet. Okay. Good for her. Good for her. Good for her. Okay. If you say so. And when are you performing next?

Where can people find you? Oh my God. What am I doing next? New York? Yeah, I'm about to actually I'm about to go to Argentina for a month What? To shoot this show.

I'm really excited. Oh my God, that's so cool. So I don't have any dates lined up after that. But you can watch my special on Netflix. Yes, it's so good. It's so good. And the twist, she's gorgeous. It's so good.

And I hope to see you at a live show in the future. And also to check out your podcast. Oh, yeah, listen to Seek Treatment. It's about boys' sex fucking. dating and love. Oh my God. Come on. That's so much to do. Guys, you've got homework. Enjoy. Everybody, give it up for cat going. Thank you for having me.

Yay. Thank you so much to our executive producers. Simon Moore's, Guy Goodman, Mary Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Harkay Deacon, and Oliver Jago. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You guys are alleged. We're so grateful to you. Also, thank you too. We have a new producer. You do it all in one breath.

I can't. Richard Bicknell, L, Richard Ball, Neil Redmond, Victoria Hutchison, Emma Walton. Karen and David Ball Harold Van Dyke Eddie Doyle Tim and Dom David Walker

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Cordelia Rya Fink Rachel Page Helen A Tina Lindsay Sophie Chivers Graham March Emily G Amy O'Rearden

Abbey Wharf Key Webb Matt Sims Thank you so much and welcome to Matt Sims to the Star Guys thank you so much

for supporting us We're so grateful we couldn't do it without you I know It's been amazing It's been amazing. If you're not already a Patreon, you should be.

Get on there. Come on. When work doesn't come in for us, it means that we can keep doing this and we don't have to run around scrabbling in a cafe. Exactly. And also, now if you're on the Patreon, you get the podcast without ads.

Yes, please. As well as all the other benefits you get to and the extra episodes. I mean, there's so many extra. There's an extra episode where every episode has had out. And the min shot. Anyway, thank you so much.

I told you not. Bye.