Trusty Hogs - Ep88. LOU SANDERS / Impotence, Impatience & Impressions

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

Cuddle Club isn't just a Bauer/Patel tradition it's also the name of our guest's brilliant podcast; none other than LOU SANDERS! We talk witchery, trauma bonding, pegging and much much more...FOLLOW LOU: @LoulieSandersThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Stewart KerrPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Anthony Conway / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Mae Williams / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Amie / Emily GeeWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With so many options, why choose Arizona State University? For me, the only online option was ASU because of the quality. Their faculty was really involved with their students and care about your personal journey, the dedication to my personal development from my professors. That's been extremely valuable to me. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university. Online.

That's a degree better. Explore more than 350-plus undergraduate, graduate and certificate programs at ASUonline.asu.org. Hello and welcome to episode 88 of Trusty Hogs, a podcast where I, Catherine Pohart and I, Helen Bauer, discuss our quite frankly, per-soothing lives. Lovely, perfect lives. And then we answer your problems. I know we lost it.

We lost it. We loved it. We lost it. We lost it. We lost it. We're just going to chat about our amazing lives. We're going to listen to one of your fucking. problems with your chat with Lou Sanders.

Let's fucking do it. Let's have it. Through the fog step forth the trusty hogs yeah you're gonna give your problems and they will

solve them or maybe they won't and that's your problem. They'll have guests and Andrew White on the tech oh it's Helen and Catherine as the trusty hogs

Trust the trusty hogs or maybe not What's happening with you? Hey dear listener What's happening with you this week? Yeah, what is happening with you guys? What's happening inside your soul? Take a minute, take a minute, sit there. Catherine, you can do this too, and Andrew.

Take a minute. How is it going? Feel your toes. Oh God, no, it's not going well for me. Feel your fingers. No, my toes hurt. It's not time for your breakdown. Why do your toes hurt?

I don't know. They're wiggly now that you've said it. Why do you make me think about them? Think about your belly button. Ew. What's wrong with it? I don't like belly button. Why does it smell when you put your finger in it?

It shouldn't. It's just clean it. I don't clean mine. But you know when you forget and then you do it and you're like, what the fuck. Why are you doing it? I hate you. Why are you going in? Why are you going?

Why wouldn't you just wash it? Just wash it. I'm not saying, would we sniff anything or? Like if you put your finger in something and it's like a substance you weren't expecting, like wet. I'm having a terrible time. I'm having a terrible time. Now, as your punishment, I'm going to tell you about something you're not going to want to hear about.

I went to the gym. Right, neither of us are allowed to talk. Andrew, Andrew, you can talk. Fine. How about that? That's fair. Andrew, we need to do a realistic problem because we can't agree on our friendship boundaries anymore. We're just going to stop. Oh, my gosh. What did you? We got a glass of water everywhere.

Why did you put a glass water on the ground? Yeah, what did I put that there? That's an odd choice. That is a very odd choice. I can tell you about my granddaughter's funeral. No! No! It was very funny.

Andrew, this is terrible. No, no, no funeral chat from you. No, no, no, funeral stories are good. We had a, we had the celebrant who, like, had clearly done no research. When did they celebrate? Oh, no. Are we talking humanist funeral?

Um, uh, I don't think it had any particular religion attached to it. It wasn't deliberately humanist or anything. This is all mind-blowing to me. Because can I say a couple things? First of all, in Ireland, you know, the funeral's two days after you die, maybe three tops. Mad. So I'm always, like, shaking by how long it takes you people to just, like,

get it done. It's horrible. The admin's tricky. it's just like oh my god they just sat there where are they in a fridge yeah free 20 days yeah and if we hadn't gone for that particular date in May it'd have to be the end of June that is wild no we whack them into their own home throw them up on the dining table put sandwiches around them eat some drink and play some music around them and then we bury them quick as you can please before you're in the egg sandbags that does sound a lot better actually it's much healthier are you kidding no but it actually

in the living room with the sandwiches yeah not my living room I'm not going to host the funeral No, but that's absolutely right. When you die, is that what you want? An Irish funeral? Yeah. No, because we're way too religious. Okay. Can I pop you in my living room for a bit just for fun?

No, you'd do weird stuff. No, you'd be like brushing my hair and stuff. Smelling her belly button. Playing wicked out loud. Me just singing for good looking at Dead Catherine. I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason. Oh my God, you joined death. Oh my God

Because I knew it would fucking spook you Okay for any new listeners Catherine just joined in with a Wicked song Which is really, oh that is That is not three for six I know it would give you the creeps I know it would give you the creeps Where did that come from?

Oh if you went to see Wicked without me I swear to fucking Lucifer No I went to see Wicked when I first moved to London And that's what confirmed that And you love the lyrics I did like the songs from Wicked Yeah I just didn't really like the people there

Like a stream that meets a boulder Don't push your luck. You got one song right here. It's the same song. Come on. Okay. Incredible. I would be singing that with,

well, we'll do it when you're alive. When we do candle making day. Brilliant. Thank you very much. I guess I have been changed. For the better. Because I knew you. Because I knew.

I'm not going higher. Because I knew you. Because I knew you. That's pretty good, actually. No, it wasn't. Oh, well, no. If anyone's listened. We're not acting like that was good.

Christian, Kristen, please. I was, okay, thank God. I was comparing against the metric of Helen doing karaoke at the live shows. Oh, that was painful. You're right. No offense, Helen. Hey.

I genuinely thought me and Hallie Belly. Hallie Bailey were indistinguishable from each other during that song. Andrew, please can we do a listener problem? I know it's early in the show, but I... Well, you haven't finished the funeral? Yeah, but I already did like the story because it was making me sad. No, no, funny, I'll do. Go on.

Because the celebrant was clearly very underprepared. So he kept holding up the program and pointing up at my grandma's name going, Thomas Padgett. And he went, we're here today in loving memory. Pointed at the words, loving memory.

At the very start of the funeral, we went, such a lovely day. No, not a happy one. It's like, Steve Karell in the office. What? What? It was very funny. Dope. That's the thing, because you have a meeting with someone

before you have the funeral just to talk about their life and just make sure that the tone is right. And it's like, then they're doing that so many times. And in general, like, they're older people. Like, they're not remembering these things. And everyone just like a nightmare. At one point, he read out.

Tom is that. But it's a good distraction. He read out his birthday. I went, what would Tom's mother thought when he got that bundle of joy? How would his life turn out? Well, now we know. Now to do for the...

No. No. That was genuinely a part of the service with my... Now we know. I think it's like, it's like, obviously like it's such a sad day of funeral, but like when there's something funny that like undercuts the tension,

oh my God, so good. It really makes such a different. So good. Maybe they're doing it on purpose. That is like a parody though. That's like, what would she have thought? What is life is? gonna work out as well now we know pretty underwhelming am i right lads what why

oh my god did you pull bear or do any speeches or anything i did a poem oh which one i wrote a poem you wrote it andrew you're so cute i don't want to hear a poem written by a poet i don't know but i will say this though i'd already written a poem previously about my grandparents and um my mom asked me if i do a poem and i said oh yeah i'll do that one and she went oh no it's not quite right for the funeral. So I said, fine, I'll write a new one. And then at the end of her eulogy, she quoted the poem that I had written previously

that she said was not good enough. She stole my poetry. She fucking had you. Wait, did she refer to the fact that what she was quoting? Yeah, she said it was my poem. But she still, the fact that she read. You have to write a new poem, but it's only because she wanted to use his to quote.

Wow. This is the best. What, like it's her dad's view. Mother gay son drama. mother gay son drama that is what it is because they love each other so much my gay son can never do it

he's amazing fashion advice emotional support stealing his poems that I will be stealing actually oh my god that is such gay drama we love to see it wow well I guess

how many stanzas was your poem the original was like eight and the new was like four yeah because you're not putting your back into the second one geez yeah yeah he's dead he's not gonna hear it wow sorry Andrew sorry for your loss I did

I once So one of my grandparents died I played the flute It's okay It's okay No that was insensitive It's Gallo's humor We love Gallo's humor here

Okay Sorry Andrew I So my dad's parents When they died Possibly the least grandparent Like people of all time Like fucking ain't kids

Fucking look at me one more time That fucking little brat And I think on purpose All of their kids I like them. Who wants to sing a song or read a poem at Granny and Grandpa's Funerals? They died like, they weren't married, but they died two weeks after each other. Stick up your art, kiddos.

And they just started playing the flute, which lasted for two years. You did not do novice flute at your grandmother's funeral. And the only songbook I had was Disney. Like, you got a friend. So I didn't do Disney because I was like, that kid. there was like, I can't, it's disrespectful. So I did, I did, mourning has broken on the flute.

With you up below grade one level. Morning has broken. Also, who's a disrespectful to? Disney were your grandparents? It's like... They hated kids so much. The last one is a kid at their funeral full stop. Let alone a grandchild who is like

doing the act of grief almost because they're so young and they don't really know their grandparents. I'm sorry, I went to attend school this week. I have a few. to go to and I'm playing a song this week

you can get out of a whole week of a whole week of school surely no I probably didn't get out of any of it actually not for those two grandparents rest and peace roll of crones

wow savage up in here any problems Andrew oh so many problems and lots of updates as well oh my god actually can we have updates because I don't know

if you've listened to the will it be out by now the Patreon extra yeah yeah the live okay so if you've not listened if you're not a patron, genuinely please join our patron just to listen to the extra live show

that we put on. We had an update on a problem that was truly profoundly the most shocking, earth-shattering, confounding, hilarious, astounding, traumatic and mind-boggling sum up to a situation we've ever had. If you follow us online, you saw our pictures

on our Instagram stories. Did Felicity Ward message you as well? We looked like we were in a Shakespeare play. We looked like we were doing a musical version of Macbath. Like the three witches. We were like a chorus of witches. We were like, no. What? No. To honestly, I can't, I think it rivals your wee story in terms of the shock it got. Thank you. Thank you. I agree.

It is, honest, I went home and told my girlfriend and her housemate and indeed best friend Charlie Clive, guest to the show, friend of the show. Friend of everyone. I, they were like, honestly, you know when you text them and you're like, I have gossip and Charlie was like, honestly, I thought it'd be boring. But this is insane. They were on tenter hooks. I told Saneal and he went and he didn't know. No, he didn't. Get a grip, Seneal.

Get a grip. Go on, Andrew. Very, very nice. Actually, a lot of the updates were people telling us their own drunk hotel situations in response to Helen. Okay, I actually receive some of these messages individually.

She hates it. And I, if I get one more woman messaging me being like, I get it, I want to piss myself. It's not the same. It's not the same. I mean, that's just because you want to be special. Pissing yourself. Pissing yourself.

clothes when you're laughing or something hysterically is not the same as being waking up naked somewhere you've never been before. It just isn't. There are two things that haunt me most about that story. The first one that little boy turned around and was like, never. And the other is the words onto the street.

I just didn't anticipate where the door was... How many times have you listened to it? Oh no, I just replayed it in my mind. And also, I can't stress this enough. No one will talk to me about anything else. So that's pretty much my life now. I went to play comedians football and everyone talked to me about it, yeah.

Oh my God, Andrew, you're in comedians football. So cool. It's been a tough, it's been a tough, tough two weeks for a little hell. Yeah, that's rough. Okay, so we don't want to hear those stories. Sorry. There's also, none of them are as bad.

But we do have an update. This was a question we got from a 16-year-old listener. Oh, God, what did we say? Seeing a naked body for the first time. No, that's not the problem. That's never been a problem. We got a young man. from Australia here and he had a crazy story for us at work.

Once again, we would still like to see the season footage from the new town Sydney. I'd pay good money to the footage. Please do get in contact. Thank you. Go on, Andrew. No, it was a person who was 16 years old wanting to come out struggling to tell their family, even though their family weren't homophobic, they just couldn't get the words out. But they they hoped to see you in Melbourne with their future girlfriend. That was their ambition. Okay, so they're hoping to see us. They're hoping to see you back in Melbourne, so they live in Melbourne, with their future girlfriend.

That is their dream. I love the stream. Okay, so what's the update? The update is, I'm straight now. I talk to my family and they reminded me how straight now. I gave up women and I've moved to Fiji. So I felt cool though. And I like that you localised your move to Berlin reference.

Yeah, very cute. So almost a year on from when I first sent the email, a lot has happened. First, I did come out to my parents. Proud of you, very brave. We'll see. Oh, my. Kept you. Imagine if they gave her away. Okay, good. What did they say?

Before the advice got back to me, but that's okay because it wouldn't have helped. It was kind of a mess. My dad straight up asked me if I had any clarity, quote unquote, on my sexual identity, and then I started crying even before I said anything. He kind of came out to me. It was very strange. But it's over now. On to bigger and better things.

If I had any clarity on my sexual orientation? as in like the dad probably already knew. I guess he was trying to like prompt the conversation. But it makes it sound like the dad's holding like a clipboard and it's like we have to get through a few things today. It's like we're actioning things from the last meeting. Like have you had any clarity on the situation? Like wow, that dad feels like he works in corporate. But go on.

Speaking of the big and better things, while I was listening to the podcast where you answered my email, maybe six months after I actually came out. Sorry. We do have quite a backlog. We got a backlog. And we also accidentally repeated two problems at one point where she did. It's going to take a more time if we're doing the problems twice. That's true.

Go on. I was getting ready to go see Chloe Pets with my friend. Yes. Which is kind of this insane coincidence. And then, like, I cannot make this up. As part of a crowd bit, Chloe called us the lesbians. For context, I said I was gay earlier and my friend had just revealed she's vegetarian. So that was a nice circular moment.

Yay! Oh my God. Chloe Pat! sweet. I love that. That is very full circle. And also that does count as like your plan came true because like Chloe is a hog. I mean, I don't want to say that I believe

in like... Manifestations. I don't. But I do think like telling yourself what you want from your life makes you more like to follow the path you want, of course. For sure. Are we also... I will come back to... Oh my God, what should I say? I feel like emboldened right now to say something that I want. I want

to meet someone. Yeah. Whoa, do you? Yeah. Hey, let's stay with that for a good. Let's not discuss it. No, let's just go with that. We're not discussing it.

We're not discussing it. Okay, I'm proud of you. But that is what I want to meet someone. There we go. Pride of you. She said it. Pride of you. But not if they're annoying.

Okay, I'm proud of you. Or like piss me off, but it's always there. Okay. Isn't it I carry out? Oh yeah. But Cropets definitely counts as a hog. With a good appetite. For food and pussy.

Pussy. Who's like you? Oh, wow. What have you done to me? My little dude, little too, a little dude. Okay, I thought you'd made me disgusting and then I cannot keep up with you. And then for a nice buffet. Anyway, sorry?

That was quite the experience. You're welcome, Andrew. I was going to say, I was going to say, Glopets definitely counts as a trusty hog hog hog hogger. I turned myself on it, so sorry. Could you tell? I was wondering why you were looking across it. I was like, she's fucking horny.

She's horny. Also, because you started to move in your chair. You moved in your chair and I was like, this motherfucker's hump in her chair. Sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, and particularly after what we discussed at the beginning. I hate that I know you well enough to know that I hate. And I was like, no, what is going on here?

I'm sorry, I made, yeah. So back to our 16-year-oldess. No! Andrew! Oh, this isn't right. I'm sorry. Congratulations. I'm coming out.

There's a few more milestones in this email as well. Are there, okay? Yeah, great good stuff, yep. The week after seeing. Sorry, Andrew, I'm going to have a little bit of water just. I think so. Yeah, good idea. While you're getting that water,

I will say another person emailed us in, R.E, Chloe Pets, being obviously definitely a hog, because they'd said that they'd completed the hogs infinity gauntlet, which is seeing Bauer, Boehart, Pets and White all in stand-up. Oh, my God, the infinity gauntlet. That's really fun. So great. Oh, my God, I forgot to tell you that leaving the live,

somebody assumed that M, I meant to say to M, actually, because someone was like, someone referred to M as if M was Ellen. I've been like obviously thought that not knowing the face of either. Who was it? That M was Ellen. Yeah. And I was like, I ain't going to correct you.

I'm going to piss off Chloe Pets, but then I never said it to M or Chloe. That's what I'm just saying on the podcast. Well, Chloe, Chloe, wasn't this. Chloe listens to this episode. Yeah, Chloe, people thought I could date your girl. Yeah, and Chloe, why didn't you call me back at the weekend? And also, Chloe, your brother's real nice and he's helped me a lot with buying my car.

Yeah, but why didn't you call me back at the weekend? Oh, she was playing for a Christmas. Crystal Powell. She's a professional footballer now. Why are you not call Helen back at the weekend? I didn't call you back either. You didn't. Oh my God.

I had a real shocker actually. I remember you like twice. I need the time you responded. I was busy and I knew you wanted to talk about work and I didn't want to talk about work and I was busy. No, the first time I didn't need to talk about work with you because we're doing a job together this week. And then I literally spoke to you about it

and you went to be a man and I was like, that's fine then. And the second time was actually for friendship. No, it wasn't. It was. Was it for? It was actually. You never called me about friendship about friendship. was actually. Do you know why?

Because you said you wanted more calls. I know I did that. I was like, you have to ask me who I am. Catherine was like, well you only ever talk about work? And I was like, I know, like it has become that at the moment. And so I was like, I'm going to call her just for fun chats. I know she didn't answer. So he's like, it's probably about work, it's enough.

Andrew, tell us. Sorry, last update on that. So thank you to Philip and Amanda from the Infinity Gauntlet completion. Congratulations. And back to the A, This is from A. And they say the week after they saw Clopets, I kissed my best friend after formal. Wait, the same one who was at the show with it?

I don't know about that. I don't know. Sorry, after formal, cute. And then a few weeks after that, I got my heart moderately broken by a girl. So really the self-growth. But yeah, the main thing I guess... Baby, girl, you're becoming a full old lesbian.

Yeah. You're kissing girls, you're getting your heart broken by friends. This is phenomenal. Smashing it. You're watching Chloe Pat. Yeah. Life's going tremendously. The main thing, I want to say,

say that I'm in a much better place than when I first sent the email. I don't think I was proud then but I am proud now. Woohoo! And an important message... I'm sorry, I thought say an important message there. There are always better days. Yeah, that's true. It never feels like a when you're in them but they are.

Unless you've got like dysentery in which case is just downhill, isn't it? Well no, you can get better from dysentery. Can you? Yeah. It's not the gas, the farting one. I need to fight yourself today. Should we have on a fantastic guest? On that nose. It's always a bad no. We never You're going to go skips on a good note.

You're right. You're right. And she wouldn't mind it. Well, let's say, good though. In have of this, how about this. We say my catchphrase, which Simon Maworth reminded me of the other day, our executive producer. In a world where you can be anything, be kind. We'll say it all together. In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

And dear listener, you may now stop thinking about your toes. It's Lou Sanders. Oh, for God's sake. Thank you so much to our executive producers and our producers that allow us to keep making the show and making it everything we ever dreamed it could be. So first of all, to our exec producers, you know who they are, say them with me. It's the wonderful Guy Goodman, Simon Moores, Mary Fox, Annie Tonner, Sarah Harkay Deakin, Oliver Jago and Stuart Kerr. Thank you so much.

Thank you also to our producers, Richard Bignall, L, Richard Bald, Neil Redman, Victoria Hutchison, Emma Walton, Harold Van Dyke. Tim and Dom, David Walker, Rachel R. Anthony Conway, Sadie, Cachmore, Clarew and Jones, Jess and Nick, Zoe, Sarah and Molly, Ray of Fink, Cordelia, Rachel, Paige, Helen A, Tina Lindsay, Graham Marsh, Amy O'Reardon, Abby Worf, Key, Key, Key Webb, Kai Webb, Matt Sims, Luke. I think it's Kia.

Damn it! Key Webb, Matt Sims, Luke Bright, Leah, Kate Spencer, Mae Williams, Tristan, Liz, Liz, Taz, Clough, Becky Fox, Emily Gee. Emily Gee, Gay, damn it. So many new producers, thank you so, so, so much. much we could not keep it going at the minute especially with all the new camera equipment we've had to buy thank you so much for supporting us if you can support us on patreon thank you so much if you can't that's fine you're still part of this enjoy the podcast we love you and we'll talk to

you next week leave us a review Louzander! It's Lou Sanders! Hi! Welcome! How the hell are you? Yeah, really good. I was considering just sort of coming on mute for a laugh. That would stress us out so much.

Yeah, I know. I did it for five seconds and then I thought, no. That was not five seconds. No, speak. How are you? Yeah, it was not five seconds. what was the play out of the mute joke just out of curiosity like just see how long you could not talk for and then I thought why would you do that you know can I tell you

can I tell you a dream guest can I tell you a rusty hog just like I understand those intrusive thoughts you're like this be a bit of fun and then you've literally halfway to recommitted to and go this is the worst idea I don't ever have the other day I was on the tube Lou you think we can cut this out of the podcast if you so decide but the other day I was on the podcast, on the podcast, I was on the tube, I'm losing my mind. The other day I was on the tube and I saw a famous man, as I understood him to be, I was like, what, do I know over what's he in? Who is? I know, I know him from something. Brett Goldstein. I'm going through and then eventually having stared at him in the face for so long, he definitely caught me

staring as well, so I was like, I was checking me. Anyway, eventually I was like, nope, that's just a man who used to be on Luz's Instagram a lot. No, no, no, was it my ex-boyfriend? I'm pretty sure it was. And I had that. one where I was like, you look away, you seem crazy and you don't know that bad at all. Well, we were texted in the other day actually and I said, no, I said, oh yeah, we were just chatting. Yeah, yeah. Are you seeing anyone yet? Just casual, you know. And he said, no, it'd have to drop down and snap me in the face for someone to annul Sam doing some work on myself and I need to be like that. But I thought maybe that, oh no. Oh, no. Andrew, pass the bag, please. I'm sorry.

Oh my God. Did I not say? Did I not say? Did I not say. Could you imagine if it was him? Nice bag. I, I, I, I, I, I, it says kind bag, but it's not very kind to ruin a couple of girlies podcast. Um, at least I know I've got my phone on. Oh my God. Who actually has their phone on? Hand cream. Who actually has their phone like on that? I know. It's like, okay, grandma. Yeah. Do you know why? Because, oh, I was listening to your podcast. Sorry, but she's very about the space. I don't understand. How did you pick that up already? I hate that.

Because you've fixed the tablecloth by a lose lap 20 times. And you also said, do you want to hang? No problem if you don't, but do you want to hang up your jacket? Do you want to hang up your jacket? And I said, would you rather I hang up my jacket? And then he said, no one can see it. And you, he went, mm. Okay, fine.

Oh, how does it feel that I change standing there instead of going to the toilet and I've just got a pile of clothes on the floor? Look. I don't. It's good to work on your stuff. Explain to the podcast. what you just did I moved a pig and a candle around you moved all the stuff but then you panicked and immediately put it back so I do um I both hate you for it but I do respect that you

immediately backed out of it so thank you sorry sorry yeah um yeah I was listening to your podcast on the way in really great podcast thank you so lovely to be part of it and it kept the sound kept fading down and it's never had that before and I had to keep putting it up and I'm on my bike so obviously it's dangerous and then I thought maybe I'll fix it it by turning my sound on because sometimes on the Instagram Oh yes of course And so that's one of the sounds

Good to get the whole story isn't it Good to get the first scoop on that one But also something for us to look into Because quality is important to us here At Trustee yeah Well the content is quality control But the sound wasn't Was it your ex-boyfriend texting?

No I think it was Shannon and a girl called Chelsea Hey Shannon and Chelsea hey girl Well Chelsea is a spam On Telegram It's a young lady lady with her breasts on display, which live your life, but they just text everyone and they're fishing. So obviously I'm texting back

after the podcast. Wait, what's this? What am I on? What's Telegram then? I thought Telegram was like a WhatsApp thing. Telegram is a WhatsApp thing, but I'll just show you. Sorry, what? And you're friends with spam bots on it? Well, I'm not friends with them. I keep blocking them, but what's happening? I'm fascinated by this. I don't use telegram. No, it's for

conspiracy theorists and people that don't want to all their data to be harvested, I suppose. Stop it. I don't know. Okay. When you came in here, I thought you were a young, hip gal. And now you're talking about conspiracy theories. Your phone's on.

She's a 50-year-old on Facebook. My name's Debbie. You don't know what's out there, and I'm just doing the checks. No, what it is is something I do use WhatsApp more than Telegram, but some people won't use WhatsApp. Like, my brother is against the person that owns WhatsApp and Facebook. Facebook and everything. So he's, yeah, and they do own your data. Oh, Jesse Eisenberg. Yeah. Yeah. There was a new thing where they like, own your data or something. And he was like,

no thanks. And so just he's just using this telegram. So telegram was like a new texting platform that ladies send their rooms on. It's not even new. It's a common in the pandemic. And then a lot of circles of alternative health people are conspiracy theories and they will not use WhatsApp. So it's a crossbridge of my brother and some witches. Fabulous! We'll use TEDGron. Check him out on Telegram. But you are witchy because you know,

I know we spoke about, I think on your podcast, but I come from a lineage of witches. Yes. So it's like, because Catherine's not actually a witch, but you'd think you would be because of the Irish heritage.

Yeah, what a natural fact that's much more science-based. Right. We're witchy, we're bitchy and we're a little bit snitchy. A little bit. But I do think. You've been able to just doing the thing and at Helen will be telling on you.

Let me tell you. I think you've got more witch powers than I do because I think you've divulged more into your powers where I'm genuinely frightened if I let them harness what I could do. Because like, you know when you watch Matilda? Is it going to be like this the whole time? Most of it, yeah.

You know when you watch Matilda when you're younger and like everyone spends like a week looking at a cereal box going I could move it? Yeah. I used it for two days and I went, no, because I know I can. Wow. I'm scared of what I will unlock.

Wow, okay. Genuinely. I did about two minutes and thought, I don't think this is, and then just moved. on because I get very impatient. I put a message of that film and indeed book was

reading is good for children. Oh, did not get that. Did not get that. Reading. You're fun and loser. That social services should really have stepped in earlier, am I right? Yes, you're right.

Why? What was wrong with Zinia and Harry? I thought they were wonderful parents. I actually can't remember a thing about it. Okay. If my parents let me watch how much TV, I'd be over the fucking moon. I just think that, well, first of all

I don't think the solution to anyone's problem is that the teacher has to bring all the children home who have problems. because that's just a non-sustainable solution. Yeah, and it's really putting pressure on the teachers and it really should be a state. That cottage has three bedrooms max, right? But I just felt like somebody should have stepped in earlier.

Also, not ideal for sort of would-be pedophiles. No, and there's a lot of would-be who aren't. That's what we've got to look out for. Just opportunistic, teetering. Yes. Christ on a bike. Retrospective trigger warning. Oh, yeah, trigger warning.

Pedophiles, is it? Prigger warning there? Just move on. No, we don't have children of warning witches because the hunt's over. Yeah. The hunts over. Listen, thank God.

Hey, are you still, are you still not skateboarding? Rollerblading. Not as much, no. I'm trying to channeling my creative endeavors into my work at the moment. That was the grossest thing. Wait a second.

That whole time you were rolling skating, you weren't writing jokes. I've never been more. disgusted in my life. Thank you. Like you channeling it all into that creation. Wait a second. When you were rollerblading, were you not working? That is from, hang on, that is from when

there was a kid who every Christmas, one of my exes, not the one you eyed up on the tube. One of my exes was this little kid would copy his dad's business speech and at the end of the afternoon, like say, you know, box and tell whatever, he'd just shake everyone's hand and say

thank you very much for a wonderful time. Good luck in all your endeavours. It made us laugh so much but I forgot when I said that that you went you never made this little kids no we weren't in that relationship no no no

you'd be trying I would be like best of looking all you're oh sorry that's not our guy that's not our guy did you do that after sex best of luck and all you're never

I did high five someone after stress and another time that's nice though a high five is nice to let them know they've done a good job yes

well he was impotent but yeah and honestly impotence is not the end of sex. No, it really isn't. Have stuff, mad stuff, chatting.

Like, there's other things to do. Is chatting sex, are we having sex with you? You're not impotent at the tongue. I'm sorry, at what stage did you high five then? Well, just sort of after we've rolled around, it wasn't happening, a quick high-five. Another time I got some change, because I think he was a bit of an F-boy. I won't swear. And, uh, fuck boy.

Yeah, you're like, we got it, we got it, we got it, thank you. And I gave him some money afterwards when, there we go, that's for you. You paid. Yeah. How much? Oh, about £3.50. Nice. What did you?

Did he take it? I just left it on the table. Did he take it or leave it there? Well, I left it so someone took it. Oh, you left it at his house. Okay, cool. So well, never know. Well, I did, as I said, I left a little thank you on the table.

Sorted out. I think the only thing you could do to a word. He never called back. And he had money for the phone and everything. That's crazy. Do you think the only physical thing you could do after sex that would really upset them with the pat on the head. Like guys fucking hate that.

Can you have nice... Anybody would hate that. Thank you. And they get so upset. I'd be furious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about going to this? Oh, got your nose, but to you're done.

Oh, I got it. There it is. It's a tiny little male. You'd have to do a middle... Can you do that with a middle? That's... Oh, but can I just say I don't think we should ever make fun of men's penis sizes

and I'm real... I don't. I don't have nothing to do with this. Yeah, I don't agree. with it because we're so passionate about not making fun of, like being respectful of female anatomy. Yeah, agreed. And I really think I would never want a man to feel bad about the size of his member and some, I've always said this, some of the best sex I've had was with a man with this medically small penis. Because we know what to do with their time. Yes, they've read the book,

she comes first. Yes. She should come first though. She always should. Should come first. Well, what do you do in lesbian relationships then? You call it. Doesn't that what you say? Yeah, well, that's at the start when it's all going on forever and ever and ever. You just eventually have to be like, babe, can we take a break? But there is another issue in lesbianism, which is that like, if you have sex with,

if one of you has sex and then, like, obviously you get the sleepies, don't you have to have an orgasm sometimes? Then the other person's... It depends on the morning or night. It does, but I, for one, I'm very, like, lulled to sleep. If I've had a great orgasm, I will be like,

sleepy time, but that's quite rude. But could they... Oh, no. Would you chuck him? a toy and say you know have fun with that chucked my toy and say

you're on your own love actually that would be quite romantic I don't think that would be romantic I don't think of it as romantic if you've sized it up for and like decorated it a bit let's say yeah I don't if somebody threw a toy at me

and said have fun with that I'd be like excuse me but I don't know maybe a new expensive toy maybe interesting something to think about send in your answers please to trusty hogs at gmail

I've never had toys brought into the bedroom. What? I'm telling you that, never, ever. And I'm super game for it. Like, I would love to peg someone. I think I'd be, granted, I think it would be a bit too,

I'd be a bit too overexcited. So I understand why the first wave of pegging when it hit us, I'd say like, 2014, no one was like strapped on her because I think they knew that I was going to be a bit too into it. But now it's been, it's been a one, I'd still like the opportunities.

Why don't you buy some toys? Fish, her price. But isn't the etiquette with the person, and be being entered by them. I was saying on that for a while, let you finish. I could see you. You went for the mic twice.

I saw that. I saw it. Share a prize. I don't think I could, I don't think I'd be very good at pegging. Really? Yeah. With your aim and focus?

I think. With your aim? No, listen, I don't think it's that. The precision is not the issue. I just think, um, I, I think that I like things clean.

How is it not cling? Well, anal is a little... Doochy, douche before. Okay, yeah, maybe. I don't know anything about this. Oh, Andrew? I'm really out of my comfort zone now. It's very simple.

Yeah, it is... You don't even know by kit, you can just use a shower. I'm saying absolutely, sure. What, you don't do, she ever, out of curiosity. Oh, no, I just... I just, you know, I'm waiting until we get onto the intellectual stuff. Oh, it'll be a long time

Wow I can do intellectual stuff I read my first Virginia Woolf Have you? Which one? A room of one's own Oh, I've heard a bit Thank you very much She had horrible time of it, Virginia

She was not happy Okay, so we tried to talk about something intellectual And you asked us to quit it out Because that was too private I keep my intellectual stuff Very close to my heart Do you ever have a desire to be an academic? And then you read one paper and you're like, I'll kill myself.

No, I'd hate to be an academic. It's awful, isn't it? Yeah, me too. They never say any natural light. And we're back on the main episode. Honestly, I'm actually working on my aggression at the moment. How are you working on it? Because I feel like I use it to fill silences because I get panicked. And I want to be able to just be with them more.

So instead of having to like, I heard. Where did you get this insight? I had someone else on a podcast. Is this from therapy? A different podcast. Yeah, football therapy. Podcast is therapy. Yeah, I agree.

Angie, is this one for the extras? Podcast is therapy. Yeah, for the extras. No, we're actually still in the main episode. Yeah, I know. I think that's good. But you know when you're like, I will feel every moment and then,

you know when people are to talk about, like, meeting someone with the first time and their first impressions? Like, it's the worst game of all time. I hate it. We've got like, let's say what we've thought about when we first met each other. And it's like,

the only reason you're the only person I know. who starts that game. Ball fucking shit. I don't know anybody else who would start that game. O'Cock, does it all the time. And Lou Sanders on the Seaman? How's the aggression going?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I will use it when I don't have an answer. I'll just say crap. You'll be here everywhere. I did use to ask it in my podcast, first impressions. Yeah, but I forgot to ask it. And actually, I'm going to put it back in because I think it's a great question.

No, stick with Bridgett over the question. What? Why don't you like it? I like it. Because it's never good. Like the answer is always like you, I thought you were, well,

everyone always is to me, I thought you were an aggressive, like mental patient. That's not what my first impression of you were. What was your first impression? You know what my first impression was

a nice girl with cigarettes that I can have. Yeah, and also truly the only normal person in that room know of them said the other people, but we did like a baby comedy competition together

and everyone was taking it so seriously, like so seriously. We went in the room was silent. Everyone was looking at their notes it's like a five minutes. and it's set, chill out, you know, you're set,

it's the only thing you have. Yeah. And then Helen was like, do you want to go to the balcony for a cigarette? I was like, yes, please. And thus our relationship was born. I didn't have any other friends at the time

because I was living in Germany. It was gorgeous. I was so pleased you were there. Oh my God, I was like, thank God this really tall girl's normal. See, that's a lovely first impression. What was your first impression? I can't remember.

I was wrong, by the way. I have no idea. Forgettable. Forgettable. I got no idea of my first impression of anyone. Right? I don't have an answer. for it usually. Unless they've made a very good or a very bad impression. I remember bad

ones. Like there's someone who I once like, I was like, I always panic when I feel like someone doesn't know people. So I'm trying to introduce them to feel really comfortable. I went to buy them a drink and then they were like, no, I'm just going to go instead. And I had the drink in my hand and I was like, I am never going to forget this. Andrew White. No, I'm joking. It wasn't Andrew. See, this is what I mean. I panic and then I just say shit. So instead of doing that from now on words, I'm just, if I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. And I'm just going to sit here quietly. Well, my therapist said a nice, deep, big breath.

And that does help. And then she said, also, pop yourself in your body. I'm out here. She said, put yourself in your body. How does she say to do that? You just sort of get in your body. Rather than being all your energy here, she's pointing out her head.

Filter it down into the old bod. And then you, yeah, then you can sort of look around the bod. Yeah. But does your therapist do that window of tolerance thing? So it's like, I think it's like, she's very intolerant to me. Oh, she really is. She's exhausted. She's, she is, she, she, she, she, she, the other day, she said, you get your kicks through

controlling everyone. To you. Yeah, and I said, I don't think. Did she have my form version? She actually looked at the wrong file. I was like, well, I don't think that's a very nice way to put it. And she said, well, I had to wake you up because I've been trying to tell you for ages. Yeah.

Do you think she's right? Yeah. Really, I don't get that from you at all. A little bit, maybe, but I mean, I'm gunning for perfection, so there's going to be some niggles. Me too, so there's going to be control issues, yeah, same, same. I mean, if you love perfection, if you strive to be a people-pleaser and a perfectionist, you think that the best way to do that, you don't mean to, is, but you try to control everything and that includes people.

Yeah, but those two things are at odds with each other as well. But also, if, like, your mother wasn't safe or your parents weren't safe and you thought, well I've got to do this then then that's where you learn it from of like I'll come in I'll clean this up you know what I mean like Andrew did but the water spill

yeah like Angie did yeah your clumsy bitch but what were you going to say and I'm sorry about that I was going to say like so it's called the window of tolerance and like my therapist so this is like my second therapist

and in my entire life so that's how stable I am so doing really well and it's basically like everyone has like if you're in your head head it's sort of like from your chest upwards like a bit of panic like you're overthinking things you're a bit stressed and which I'm not in very often the overthinking sadly and then you've got the window of tolerance which is here when you're just like you're in your body everything's

okay take things one thing at a time no stress and in the bottom we haven't even got to it so we're too busy just trying to figure out what's happening atop. I live in the head baby yeah then you're not like present for things you're constantly worrying like so if you're having a chat with someone if you're in your head you're like what did they think of me is this person feeling welcome they included and I think a bit of that is good because you are welcoming in the world but like it means that you spend the whole day just so stressed you must be so tired at the end

of every interaction what about if I'm up my ass Andrew can we Google what it means in mental health wise if I'm right up your assy how far up like finger height or like all the way into the rectum? I'm in my intestines six small or big no no I'm up here

I'm trying to get down I'm trying to get down once when I had a cranial her sacral, which I'm always banging on about it. Wait, what's that? Oh, don't even. I'm always banging on about it. I might as well have a t-shirt. Anyway, it's a thing. What is it? Well, we don't know. But it's like osteopathy, but it's not. It's a bit more woo-woo than osteopathy. Sorry, is it a crystal thing? No, no, no. It's a brain scan where someone does it by looking into your eyes. Anyway, it doesn't matter what it is. We're never going to get to the bottom of what it is. Okay, sorry, what does it sell itself? A division of osteopathy, but it's a bit more woo-woo. It's

called cranial sacral. I'm embarrassed how much I bring it up. Anyway, I'm going for it today. I'm going for today actually. He said the point is, forget all this, cut all this out, but this alternative practitioner said to me, you can't, you're not in your leg, you've got no legs energy wise, you're not in your legs at all, you're up here. And actually, I can feel that I'm not in my legs. And then my friend went to someone, other one, and they were like, you're not in your legs. Do you know what I mean or not? Try and feel your legs now. Yeah. Are you in your legs? Yeah. Oh, I'm not in my legs. I don't know if I am actually. No, I'm not in my, I can feel my knees and ankles.

I'm with the joints. Do you mean like... I just can't feel any, like, kind of, you know, I have to, like, get stamp to get them in there. I'm sorry to say it, girls, I'm sorry to say it, but recently I've started Pilates. I know you're sick of it. I know you're sick of me and you're sick of it.

But let me tell you, it makes me feel so in my body. That's great. And not strong... None of that doesn't, like, actually connected to my body. Wow. In a way that I have not helped me before. She hates it. No, you've got to hate it.

I just think we've heard enough about the Pilate. Oh, I love. Anything that helps you, helps me, you know what I mean? But don't you feel in your body as well when you're, like, trapped in a seat on the bus? And you're like this. And you're like, you're so aware of your body. Yeah, when I'm, like, sweating at the back of my knees, sure. But I'd rather not always be flight or fight when I'm in my body, which is, like, you're right.

When I'm in panic, I'm in my body, in that way where I'm, like, aware of my body. Maybe everyone's window of my body. Maybe everyone's window of tolerance is different then. Do you know what I mean? No, I think what you're saying it rings true for me too. So we just all need to like be in our like our hearts. Oh, lovely. So like here and just like be, it's a green zone.

You know, it's all green around here and just like feel it. You've got something wrong with your tits. Yeah, I was like what? My tits like green. Yeah. Actually, I did have that the other day. Do you ever have like a vein come like really close to the surface that you've never seen there before? No, mine are just sort of milky and dreamy.

Yeah. I don't really know what you mean. I have like, a really greeny purple vein, like surface. Like, not like Varacus, but like she was there. And I was like, what the fuck's wrong with the colour of that? And then it just went back down. And I was like, I was like, I don't know.

I assumed it was like some sort of blessing. Yes, it's like, it's a blessing. It's probably a blessing. Maybe. Maybe your brain was stressed. You know, like, you know, like bold men sometimes get a vein on their head when they're angry. Maybe your boob was angry. But also we are witches. Sometimes things do happen to us that we're not even sure about.

Andrew. My window of tolerance is closing now. May I say that? Did I tell you this already. Hell, my window tolerance is closed. to my darling, it's closed. I call you the witch beginning. Yeah.

So because witches do run in our family, we passed down through the female line. It was passed to me the second I was born because my grandma sat up in bed 20 minutes to midnight on the 25th March, 1991, please, ladies don't know it, and went, Anne just had a baby girl and my mother. And then 20 minutes later we had rung

and went, Anne just had a baby girl. My grandfather went, we knew, we knew. and bang on incredible and that grandma won the lottery like twice or three times really how much on the lottery all of it on the American lotto gave it all to a friend

good Christian woman no she gave it to a friend well are you jealous you didn't get inheritance I'm not alone to let go of it it's not good for my window of tolerance no but you could maybe win on the lotto with your witchiness

I know but we I have a me and my cousins have a theory that we have a lot of money hidden in the family somewhere that we're going to get one day because my grandfather invented to Virox we just cannot fathom that we don't get anything from it

in on the podcast and she said the hell I'm not going to win the lotto but I am. Who said that? Penelope, my psychic medium. Really? Yeah, she's really lovely. You're going to win on the lot? She doesn't even play. Well, as psychic said, I might win on the gamble. Look, they are a lot of them are full of caca. I've got to say it. Not this one, not Penelope.

Really? She honestly understands me in a way that's frightening. She told me to say yes to things and I did and I got more stuff. That's just normal. Oh, I got more stuff I'd said yes to. Yeah, okay. She said if I join the app like go on dates more and I do Okay

Yeah she's No because I'm going to meet someone at a gig Lou's told me that Well I didn't tell her psychically I just said Like when people can see you in your full power On stage being funny Yeah

You know the right man And it is a man for you Sorry Don't look at me No but I mean Sorry It's bad for me as well Like it's not

I wouldn't pick man I hadn't assumed I'd listen to the podcast That's only meant for you loose Yeah Well when I was younger I would certainly would get off with a lot more chicks.

Yeah. And I think we do call them chicks. Yeah. And then chicks. You were literally on a farm. We call them chicks because they were chicks. Your girls, your chicks. Your pigeons.

Your little roosters, your chucks, your wrens, your moorhens, your duckies. Um, uh, I'm sorry. I was like, I was like, I'm just being like, yeah, I'm fucking, I'm a hit with the chicks. I'll just say chicken died bouncing. Never been true. And you're a lesbianism died bouncing sadly. Well, as I got older, I got more and more straight and it's so embarrassing. I know it's embarrassing.

Yeah, listen, I get it. I get it. But I know once so bad to just be into women. Yeah. I know. Oh my God. Every one of my female friends say this to me, and I'm like, I think that you might have a misunderstanding of how much easier it is to be a lesbian.

Yeah. just to say like obviously women are like they are I think socialized to be more romantic and more verbal but also that doesn't mean they can't crush your fucking hearts and actually in many ways it's like if somebody is devastatingly capable of articulating their feelings and incredibly romantic when they take that away oh yeah yeah yeah that's pretty savage yeah and you guys share too much too quickly as well as well how am i doing you're doing really well this year with this relationship with my partner and I we don't even live together that's really strong and in

it took you like three weeks to trauma bond as well didn't it quite a while that's good that's good that's good that's good Catherine but I think I will meet someone at a gig I think you're right it's just that I need to let them meet me instead of immediately

push them away don't be too aggressive now that we're talking about trauma bonding because we maybe while you're here and you're wise can we solve a problem we'll have a listener you went into such a therapeutic place Let's do it as witches

Everybody in their legs, please Ah! That's how we get to do the whiz. I could stop. Kak, kak! Is this how you attracted chicks? All right, Andrew, we're ready. Hello, well, I've got several problems here.

Would you like one on gender expression, on find a love slash sexual partners or would you like getting over an X? What do you think, Lou? What do you think, I'm pretty bad at the last two. And you're great of gender expression? Yeah. Oh, what's the same.

It's interesting. Last of what I thought you'd choose, fascinating. All right, let's do this thing. Okay. Three feminine women. Hey, Hogs. Hey. And guest may be.

There is indeed a guest is the lovely Lou Sunderers. So I, 17 year old, came out, 17, came out as gay, brackets, male, when I was 14, two friends and family, which was something I initially felt unsure about. So as a 14-year-old boy, this person came out as gay. They are now 17. What's their name?

F. Okay, great. Pronouns? I'm fine with any pronouns. Great. Carry on. Thank you. I turned out of Skimri there.

However, recently, I've been struggling with my gender identity. My, born male, have been wearing crop tops for years now. I've recently been getting into a bit of makeup and have recently wanted to start wearing skirts and maybe dresses. Recently, however, I've been wondering if maybe I don't feel male. I love being one of the girls, but I also love being

one of the guys. I'm fine with any pronouns and feel just as comfortable using he him, she, her, and they, them. Furthermore, there's a part of me that likes being a guy that doesn't adhere to gender standards. Finally, my close and extended family have made some comments that have made me feel uncomfortable about it, like the classic attack

helicopter jokes and a load of but what if blank identified as blank what's the attack helicopters one oh that's that's kind of online the young young people like oh if you can identify as anything I'll identify as an attack helicopter oh that's not nice yeah but that's the most common

reference in the comments but also get better dreams guys like that's your first choice if you could actually identify something you just and listen tragic so what's an attack helicopter just a helicopter with guns on it yeah yeah oh right okay well it would be octopus for me but yeah.

Loxious. Oh, I'd be donkey from the track. Oh, nice. What would you be, Catherine? A cloud. A cloud.

Oh, lovely. Yeah, in an obvious dismissive and fun-poking way, that's where they're making these jokes. When I came out with gay, it did make them more accepting. So there is a possibility of that my family,

other than my sister, 20F, who is by, but not out of the moment, haven't bothered to educate themselves about anything at LGBTQ plus. And so if I had to do I've had to do it for them, which at times can be exhausting. Any advice on educating my family and kind of making them come to terms with how I want to

express myself and also how I'm expressing myself, whether that should have a label, what label that is, anything like that. No, me first. Okay. Sorry, I just want to say, first of all, congratulations to wearing cropped tops. I think it's a brave choice. Particularly as a teenager. Croptops were in when I was younger as well.

and honestly I wanted to wear them and I found myself a bit self-conscious in a crop top so honestly congratulations that's the biggest barrier and you've literally fucking crushed it That's the biggest barrier in that

Are you kidding? The biggest having the confidence to wear a crotrop as a teenager You don't think that's fucking confidence I'm all of that Sorry yeah that's the aggression Isn't it?

I felt it Did you see me go out of my window of tolerance? I did I did I went up I went up and I need to go down Yeah congratulations on your Sorry that's actually made me quite emotional

Sorry because I'm thinking about me now Donkeys have got four legs Donkeys from Shrek, I've got four next if you get... Whoa! You should be a therapist. I'm grounded. Granted in your...

Waffles? Okay. Waffles. Whaffles? Okay. Congrats on the crop top. Would love to hear how you're starting out with makeup because just in general I do think

people, when they're getting into makeup, they go too hard, too strong at the start. I went for Miss Sporty, blue eye shadow and I had a matching blue mascara. Just if there's any other questions about that, feel free to message in. I'd love to be able to help with that. As far as gender identity stuff, I'll pass you on to, Catherine.

Can I just say my friend, Dan wears the crop top, and he's a gay man. I identify so as a man, and he looked fantastic. He actually does a bit of part-time modelling now. Incredible. So that's how, you know, the world has moved on. Maybe you'll identify as a model. Do you know?

Yeah. These are all good options. I know. I do. Sorry, those are your contributions. That's the witches. No, no, I've got more. I've got more.

I've got more. Please. I'll eat your waffles. You know you said that sometimes there's sound issues with this podcast. That is why, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, I can. Oh.

No, go on. Look. I love, what I love about people being non-binary is I want to live in a society where gender doesn't matter, where we're skipping around, no labels, no sexism, everyone do what they want. Love that. Yes. So if we take that to its logical conclusion, you don't need to identify as anything is another label.

Just express yourself, do what you need to do, find some common ground with your parents, love is love, it expands beyond all the labels anyway. They don't need to understand, you can have chats with them, sure, but you can also do something you love together and find love that way. They don't have to understand every stage as much as you do. Oh my God.

you know what I mean like but like if you want to you know if you feel good in certain clothes you can say I love these clothes I feel really good in them don't know don't don't worry about the label for now everything's transient everything changes your change you know you might become whatever we don't know but it doesn't matter about the label so long as you're enjoying yourself and that's what I say yeah I wear trousers you know I'm saying it's not wear trousers and I've seen all four legs Catherine's worn a white coat before that it's all Whatever.

Okay. Also, just really quickly as well, sorry. Really? You have more to say. Yeah, bringing it back to me as a teenager as well. Yeah. You want to wear a skirt and I totally understand it. Now, I got fobbed off for a while by getting confused between the skirt and

trouser and wearing both together. I will say this. A skirt is a skirt. A trousers is a trouser and you're going to get lost for a while with a sarong. Now, here's the problem when you get into your sarong phase, okay? Really easy for boys just to randomly open on the street. It will fall down everywhere and it's very hard to put back on in a rush. just in general

wear a little pair of shorts underneath if you want to be protective. Shorties are your friends with your sarong face. I will say another warning I have got a skirt it's shorts and a skirt in one and I did go to a thing

and my vagina was hanging out a little bit and I did see the vagina and he didn't charge me for the session why are you writing that down Andrew? I'm going to cut you both off right there okay hello F thank you for being honest though hello F

I'll be after hi Catherine May I say I'm in two minds with this one Because on the one hand I agree with you Lou I think look All you're actually saying is I'm experimenting with clothes I'm experimenting with makeup

Clothes are just clothes right Like you should be able to say to your family Oh I'm just experimenting I actually don't identify a different way yet Might do at some point Probably don't probably will I'll let you know I'll keep you posted for now

I'm just experimenting in the way that you should be able to too The 70s anyone Yeah Saying that that would be so cute for a 17 year old the sound like there's anyone but on the one I agree with you

gender should just be something to play with like it should all be up for play right it should absolutely be we're all the same mind here of course we are on the other hand oh yeah sorry don't get like tank tops

with the slash net that you see fish net through like it is weird on the other hand may I say and I hope you're having so much fun with that and I hope that your family's perception of that isn't inhibiting your joy and your discovery there.

May I also say, though, of course you care about what your family thinks. Of course you do, because we want and need acceptance from the people who love us. And also, in reality, we're three white, thin, feminine women who fit the narrative that people want from us,

which means that we don't really understand what it's like to be afraid, and it is difficult to always feel safe as a non-gender conforming person. so I want you to feel safe and I want you to be happy but you're not failing by not knowing exactly

how to present this to your family you're not actually as you say I think yourself it's not your job to be their educator but of course your life will be better if they understood you so I wonder if you presented as experimenting

not with any promise that you're not going to be anything for them but rather that they understood its play that might help you a little bit the other thing to say is like they to a degree have a resource responsibility to learn themselves of course they do but if they're not going to I think

having shorthand understandings or explanations of things might be helpful also try if you can I think this is really difficult when you're 17 but try if you can to also ask them questions about themselves and remember the things that you have in common and put them as a focus of a relationship I'm not saying the 70s anyone I'm not saying deny that school's going to be so easy now you've got that catchphrase I'm not saying deny the things that are difficult, but also remember to enjoy the parts of your family that you like because, um, yeah, I said that. Because you can become quite, you did actually. You said that. Yeah, I did. David Bowie. You did. But it can be quite combative when you're defensive. Like,

of course it does. I just think, it's not you versus them. It's not you versus them. That's the thing. Yeah, you're all going on a journey together and you'd love if they came with you as kind of, I think that's exactly right. But they also probably want to protect you and just check you're okay. And, people fear change in a way that's like when you're up for the change and like to experiment with it you forget that other people are really scared of the idea of change so it is just sort of like

allowing them to sort of like take them with you so it's shall we get back to talking about me how do you feel that drop up? Do you don't have any fashion warnings just for someone who's experimenting as a teenager? I think you have to go through them I'm sorry I don't think you can do that I genuinely think like you

it moulded me as a person to wear fish net ties as a top. It functionally exists in my body that I did an awful lot of cardigan making myself. Like, look, well you don't know what sort of person effort because you wore fish nuts tights

to the top and I totally respect that. I wore fish nets as fish nets and then my party trip just out of panic would be, look, I can piss without taking anything off. Oh no. And then you're a pissy fishnet girl and then you're double fish. I only have to... So you've got to think about like, you've got to, like, how about this? How about the phase when you're a teenager when you're going on

school trips and all you're wearing a t-shirt and say, daddy's little slut and it's like a little girl like this on it I think F has turned off now I think F's done I think F's gone thank you for listening F but I could also can I just say by the way you'll look back at photos of you as a teenager and what you'll mainly think is God I was gorgeous I was

my body was gorgeous I wish I would have enjoyed it I know I sound like a thousand year old woman but like genuinely you will like every photo I look at of me like five years ago I go why did I appreciate that so I'll let you into a little secret I get more gorgeous every day Okay, so some of us can wear our crop tops into our 70s Some of us can enjoy the 70s while we're young

Either way, do you if And just remember that it's play It's meant to be playful Another problem solved by the trusty hogs I hate it here I hate it here What happened there, baby girl? Do you want to cleanse?

The witches have really driven me crazy. So listen. Oh, there's sunset on your bookroom. Yeah, that's... Can the two of you please focus for Loo's outro? Lou, thank you for being on our podcast. We really appreciate having you here. Wow!

You're writing a book? You've written a book. Do you know what it's called? Yeah, it's called What's That Lady Doing? Full Starts and Happy Endings, because I have happy ending or two with a masseuse. And so that's in the book. phenomenal.

And that'll be out. You can pre-order soon. If you follow me on Instagram and Twitter, I'll be... I can't wait to read it. I actually cannot wait to read it. We'll also share it on Trustee Holtsville. I'm so...

Of course we will. Of course we'll, we cannot wait to read it. Well done for writing a book. Thank you. I'm genuinely... How many pages is it? We don't know. Have you done that thing

where you've put images at two places halfway through it? No, but they said about 80,000 words. The contract said 80,000 words. And I delivered about 52. 2000 and we said we've called it a day there. Okay. Because if you've got to do good

and some pictures, maybe some pictures. Two pictures if we're allowed print colour copy. So what do you think picture was? Well, because I went to school in a leotard and leggings to get attention. Fabulous. Don't spoil the whole box. No, no.

So there's a picture of that. Because you know how everyone has their photos? Gorgeous, yes. And the letter goes home saying, please brush your child's hair. Yeah. No, no, to the ketchup stones. Yeah, yeah. They all wore normal.

uniform and I bought in my wheelchair and leggings for a second attempt because the first attempt went so bad name fabulous and there's just me like I will buy it simply to see that photo simply to see that just really quick to bring up to the problem we heard from you can experiment with clothes

that's in the extras a white t-shirt a white t-shirt experiment play around with it okay because you're going to pictures and you have a leotard's on and it's all good fabulous Lou Sanders everybody

yes Thank you for coming. Thank you.