Trusty Hogs - Ep92. SIKISA / Bras, Burlesque & 'Big Shop'

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

The brilliant Sikisa joins us this week bearing sweet piggy gifts, wise friendship advice and some hilarious stories from her life as a top comedian, burlesque act & immigration lawyer. Yes, genuinely. She's a powerhouse and is taking a show up to Edinburgh this year, so make sure to check it out! Meanwhile, we lose our minds in the intro chat and Catherine goes down a history rabbit hole that is just too boring hot to broadcast...FOLLOW SIKISA: @Sikisa_AKA_TwixThank you so much for listening!Support us at https://www.patreon.com/TrustyHogs for exclusive bonus content, merch, and more!Trust us with your own problems and questions... [e-mail] give us a follow @TrustyHogs on all socialsBe sure to subscribe and rate us (unless you don’t like these little piggies - 5 Stars only!)Thank you to our Patreon supporters...EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Guy Goodman / Simon Moores / Mary Fox / Annie Tonner / Sarah Jarque-Deakin / Oliver Jago / Anthony ConwayPRODUCERS: Richard Bicknell / Elle / Richard Bald / Neil Redmond / Victoria Hutchison / Emma Walton / Harald van Dijk / Tim & Dom / David Walker / Rachel R / Sadie Cashmore / Claire Owen-Jones / Jess & Nick / Zoë / Sarah & Molly / Raia Fink / Cordelia / Rachel Page / Helen A / Tina Linsey / Graham Marsh / Amy O'Riordan / Abbie Worf / Kie Web / Matt Sims / Luke Bright / Leah / Kate Spencer / Mae Williams / Tristin / Liz Fort / Taz / Klo / Becky Fox / Amie / Emily GeeWith Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)FOLLOW HELEN, CATHERINE & ANDREW...@HelenBaBauer@CatherineBohart@StandUpAndrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's hard for me to believe we're talking about back to school, but whether you're thinking lunch boxes or nourishing dinners, Whole Foods Market is the place to shop, and their high standards allow you to shop with confidence. Their house brand, 365 by Whole Foods Market, has everything you need for quick and convenient breakfast, lunches, and dinners from oatmeal to trail mix to wild fish sticks. Explore the many ways you can save on Back to School. Schools Foods at Whole Foods Market. Hello and welcome to episode 92 of Trustee Hogs.

This is a podcast where we, Catherine Bowhart and Helen Bauer, tell you about our lives. And then we help you solve listener problems. Also, we have a guest today. It's the wonderful Sakisa. I'm speaking to you in a calm tone because, to be honest with you, real talk, we've already recorded the episode. And if we're completely...

We had a fight. Well, listen, we had a fight and also... I yelled at you. I was a lot of... screaming in but I was all over the shop but truthfully really we're chaotic today we are all over the place it becomes apparent we haven't thought about what we should say it's not cohesive it's not kind it's not gentle I'm not even sure it's a good listen but it's a display of bad friendship yeah and it's a display of two women who haven't hydrated sufficiently I think that's apparent

who've both had too much sugar perhaps come in between a mixture of eye too full you too hungry and honestly I think you can tell where in our cycles we are. And that's just going to be a thing. I ate a full bag of Percy Pigs. And... During the record. During the record, it was, honestly, like...

Yeah, listen, it wasn't... And yet, in a perfect world, we'd have more time and we'd re-record the whole thing but we physically cannot look at each other. We can't do it. We can't do it. We've nothing left to say to each other and it's not good. And I look, I... If you want to listen, listen, but that's on you. It's not just on us because

you're agreeing to by keeping playing. The second half with our guest is fantastic. Thank you, Hansry. Thank you, Andrew. What a lovely pep talk. So if you make it through to that part, we really encourage that you listen to Sikisa because she's wonderful. She did nothing wrong.

Helen, say enjoy the episode. I never got nothing to no one either, apart from today when I yelled. Say enjoy the episode. Enjoy the episode. Best of luck. Yeah, you're going to give them your problems And they will solve them

Or maybe they won't And that's your problem They'll have guests And Andrew White on the tech Oh, it's Helen and Catherine As the trusty hogs Trust the trusty hogs Or maybe not

Welcome to episode 92 of trusty hogs We usually talk about ourselves and then we solve listener problems with an amazing guest but today we're going in to the wonderful world of history

yes well that we are because honestly you didn't know no what I was going to say was listen I always expect it from you but what I was going to say is that I've had such a big lunch

and I'm wearing such a tight dress that I feel corseted I was just thinking I was just thinking about women who were like no wonder all their freaking livers got crushed or whatever organs got smashed in

by these courses I feel my ribs are like burrowing in on my lungs that's fashionable Just so you know that's fashion, corset to back. I ate too much lunch and my dresses, oh, die. Okay, I had the same thing as you, and if anything, I'm still hungry. What is happening?

What is happening? I'm wearing a re-tight dress and I had a big breakfast. You didn't have breakfast and that's done you. No, I didn't believe in women having three meals a day. Two and be grateful. Two and be grateful, loves. You're stuffing yourself silly and it's not fair on the men. I actually...

I was fine until I sat down. My beautiful dress is from Mulby, and I love it so much, but also like, It is a beautiful dress and also you're on fashion. I am getting so many algorithm videos of women wearing like corseted outfits. Like there's a swimsuit that is viral at the moment where you have to pull it in

and it corsets the back of you. That's horrific. For swimming. That's horrific. But also Helen, at least if I was coarsed it, I might, how come I don't have any boobs still?

Because you have different vetsues. You have different vatutes. You've got that wonderful hair. You've got that gorgeous, freckle-skirts. Again, okay, you've got a wonderful way about you. What a life, what a woman, what a world. You can't also have breasts. I have none of your qualities.

I've just got the test. Give me some your tities. I mustn't. Give me some. I mustn't. No, my fun bags. No, what am I going to squeeze when I get stressed? Oh, before we get into history, can I tell you about my new personality?

Go on, fine, no fine. Thomas Edison. Oh my God, the man did so much. What I heard him? The penguin guy. The what? Penguin? The Arctic Explorer.

No, what are you thinking of? Scott of the Antarctic? But, no, Thomas Edison's the inventor. The light bulb guy. Oh, the light bulb guy. You're the fucks the Arctic guy. Is there an Edison who went to the Arctic? No, you are mad.

For someone who's done a history degree, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Spencer Matthews went recently to Nepal. Is that who we're thinking of? No, I'm not thinking of the guy from Chelsea. Well, me. you were.

Oh, welcome to Trustee Huggs. We're all incredibly educated. Believe it or not, there is someone holding a degree in this room right now. Just one, though. One between the three of us. Penguins. The only ask I can find is

depraved sex acts by penguins shocked Polar Explorer. No, no, no, no, no. No, but I would love to hear more about that. No, although I did read a lot... No, I know what that's about because I just listen to that episode of You're Wrong About and they basically like moralised about homosexuality

and animals and penguins. No, Andrew, could you please look at that? Okay, why am I so old? Welcome to Trustee Hogs, the show where I'm a thousand years old. What were they doing? No, you know that show on Netflix about the kid who's really, he's autistic and he's really into penguins?

Oh, atypical. Okay, can you look up the explorer in atypical that they talk about loads? Is this a fictitious explorer? Because Thomas Edison was real, I think. A few moments later. Okay, so I was wrong. Give me your phone.

I was wrong. And Thomas Edison is an explorer. I won't ask any more questions. No, he's not an explorer. He's an inventor. You've been listening to a podcast about him. Let's listen to Helen. What you just heard was five seconds

of what took an hour of Catherine being so sure that Thomas Edison was the name of an explorer and it is an inventor. I know that. This is the worst history corner I have ever tried to do, ever. Thomas Edison...

I know it, but in the show, what's the show called again? Atypical! Oh my God! One bit of information in your brain. Just one. Just keep it there, you thick piece of shit. Sorry, Andrew, but this is fucking, this is insane. Insane levels of thickness.

And I know I'm not a bright woman. No one's coming to me from like, oh, how do we get into Mensa? But that's mental. Can I tell you something, though? My brain is worse at retaining information since I've been on antidepressants. I'm sure of it. But anyway, look, the thing is... I've been on them the whole time.

I'm thriving. It's mad that this is right. Don't just say it one more time. I want to do a pod. I want to talk about Thomas Edison. Thomas Edison. Isn't that the explorer? Oh, I swear to Lucifer.

Look, I've just got... I'm in a Thomas Edison wormhole at the moment. Warm hall. You know what? Forget it. We're not doing an episode this week. Listen back to old episodes. Thank you so much for subscribing.

Please rate and review. We'll see you next time. No, Helen. Ellen. I want to know what he invented others on the last. light bulb or whatever you listen to on your podcast. Tell me. Okay. So basically, the podcast was like, really educational sort of like, oh, this is what Thomas Edison did. What's the podcast goal? But the short history of. And it's short history of Thomas Edison? Yes. Okay. Okay. So I thought

it was just going to be like a list of things he invented. Oh my God. You know how everyone thinks that their workplace is the most sort of like competitive and could be really difficult when you're judging yourself so harshly. Yeah. Being an inventor in, I don't know when it was. Let's say the 1920s. Are you sure? Fucking nightmare No, I'm not sure Andrew Andrew, have fun

Googling everything we say today 1847 to 1931 so yes 20 bang on bow yes bang on

so they're there inventing something and then someone else just invents it and then that's it it's over for you how awful is that right

he did what I think arguably is the hardest thing to invent okay is he invented the thing that can record sound like how to record sound number one how do you even come up with that as an idea

like I want to be able to say something and then have it play back to me and all these people now listening regretting his invention yeah hey Andrew they probably turn the podcast off by now okay you know what compliment circle and then we're going to go into

I'm so sorry if this is your first time listening this is horrible Andrew a compliment for both me and Catherine you might get one back of you good Catherine I really love your dress today and you can't see on screen but you've also got some lovely flip flops that pair with it very well

better than flipflops sandals even more classy than flip flops don't be perverts about my feet but I've got parole one yeah they are very nice oh no that's just the base of my shit my turn I really seem dumb today huh

I think we've all gone to stir crazy no I'm fine if anything I'm actually holding it I swear to God Catherine Mary Joseph put your feet back on the ground and sit normally you are being so right you are being so normal

and you are showing off, stop it, stop it. I'm Helen today. Stop it. I'm only four. Okay, so sorry. Helen wants a compliment, sorry. No, it deserves a compliment as well. Your dedication to this podcast is immeasurable.

I really love how much effort you put in. You're always messaging with ideas and things we can do to improve and grow. And I love how much you care about all of us. I can do a compliment for Andrew. Andrew, I think your capacity to reframe is astounding. You're taking of Helen's constant criticism. as new ideas, fresh input.

I think we should hand out stickers to everyone that says well done to us. I think that would help grow the podcast. Constant complaints being reframed as positive suggestions is gorgeous. Helen, my personal compliment to you is that you bring a lot of energy to the podcast.

Thank you. You really do. A lot of the times, I'll be honest with you. I can't believe we're still making it. You genuinely always persist and try with enthusiasm. And that, my darling, that I'll always be grateful. Okay. And I'm happy pride to both of you, I guess.

Well, that's not a pop-box. It's enough. It's enough. Everyone, stop it, okay? I have learned a lot about history, and I'm happy to share it with you if you are willing to receive. Yeah, I'm willing to learn. Take those poppers.

Let's go in. Okay, so wait, so you, he invented recording sound. How insane is that? Right. Like, but then, so then he was like, um, then, but then, like, which is an insane invention, so incredible. and then someone invented the telephone, Alexander Graham Bell,

and he was like, fuck. He's ruined everything. Why? Because he wanted to do it. He was like, I should have been focusing on that because people need that. Like sound recording is, it's fun and everything,

but no one needed it at the time, right? I think the people of the 1920s needed podcasting there. Because they had telegram. I think they needed podcasting. And then he was like so annoyed and he was like, oh, I've done nothing right. And it's like, I just think about the amount of times we talk to like other creatives who were like,

oh, I did this thing, but this other person did this thing It was just so, so good. And we never, like, he invented, like, the light bulb. That was later on. But he's still like, oh, should I, should have done the telephone. It's like when you have a good gig and then you see somebody has like 20,000 Instagram followers from yesterday and you're like, oh, my life's meaningless.

Even though that's all they need to do with you. No, it's literally, right, the Instagram follower thing for anyone who's not aware in comedy has become like a thing recently because like we all have to post reels, right? It's so tragic. And the idea is you post reels, you get those new followers. But it's not a guarantee. Sometimes you're just posting reels to nobody Most of the time you're just posting reels to no one

Sometimes you just post reels and nobody likes them But without fail me Andrew and Catherine will be going to gigs It'll happen even tonight where someone will be like Yeah I put up a clip and I got 10,000 followers overnight And for some reason instead of it being like Yay this is good for the whole community Because it is the more comedy that gets out there The more people buy tickets to come see life comedy

The more we will benefit Instead of it being a good thing It's like you fucking bass Huge Davies was the last one It's a real part of the job now I was on the phone with him Oh my God if anybody wants to like run my Social media

Please help me because I don't know how I was on the phone with huge Davies Okay Helen's not supporting that Go on no I refuse to He was like I put up my third reel And I was like oh god it's a slog isn't it But you do get used to it like uploading it And he went yeah I'm just exhausted

Because I went viral and it's exhausting going viral I was like what the fuck are you talking about He got like 7000 followers overnight I was like you piece of it of shit. Are we babies? Are we babies complaining to me? We're Thomas Edison. The people who are listening to us. The people who are listening to us, we're complaining to them that not enough people pay us attention. We're trash. Isn't that insane? Thomas Edison would have been such a fuck boy on podcast. Oh my God. That's what our conclusion is. And he did such good work, but it was just never going to be enough for him. And I feel terrible. It's awful. But anyway, I think his life is very, very interesting. And I just think it's a lesson for all of us here at Trustee Hogs HQ. And all of you, and all of you, listening wherever you may be that just because you didn't invent a telephone doesn't mean you won't go on to invent the light bulb and I just thought that was just a nice message to put out there for the world so what's happening with you because I don't have a hundred thousand

Instagram followers doesn't mean I won't have a million Instagram followers exactly and we're both going to get a million by inventing a cult there's easier ways to do it do you think actually I saw my cousin at the weekend she lives on the same property as a cult and it's amazing I think I think I'd be a great cult leader. We've covered this. You think? Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. I still wanted you to say it because that's the kind of cult leader I am. Dang it! Oh, hey Ellen, I have a new personality. You want to hear about it? I feel like I already know what it is. Do you know what it is?

Is it being a car driver? It's owning a car. Owning a car is my entire life now. It's my personality. It's who I am. It's what I do. I saw on Instagram. It's how I move with what I feel.

This might be why we don't have loads of followers because our content is you doing like a big shop in a car being like this is my one true calling minus me just watching TV but it is my one true calling oh my god so I went I drove Georgie

to Homeless the mecca for basic bitches yeah literally Zoe's thugs all of her vlogs for like three years and a row was her going to homesend I got a Leo scented candle it's scented to my star sign say that what wait what's a Leo scent exactly

Lion butt no it turns hey no it turns out it sounds It's, um, uh, Satsuma and Sage is what Leo's smell of. Oh, I like that. You'd love it. It's got a little fake crystals at the top. Oh, charming. A tacky gold sticker.

Don't mind if we do. Charming. And so I got that and, but more importantly, I bought the most fabulous addition to my car. Are you ready for this? Can I guess? You can guess. A mini hoover. Yes!

Oh my God, stop it! It plugs into the little lighter thing. It's so amazing. It's amazing. It's so good. There's never even a scrap of dirt in my car now because I'd already put a bunch of cloths,

microfiber clothes. Yeah, for your glove compartment. Yeah, and so I had all that, but I didn't have this one ingredient for when people get in my car with their fucking shoes on, which apparently you have to let them do. Ellen won't take off her shoes

when she gets in the car even though I was like, that's a rule obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is like my house because it's like my road house because it's like my road house. I'm a snail person now.

I live in this car. Anyway, she sits on keeping her shoes on and the car so occasionally there's dirt in. And now I have my tiny Hoover to go And you're using her after every passenger? Yeah, or sometimes I make her do it while she's in the car. Like I'll make her Hoover after herself as she's in it. Oh my gosh.

Hoover's the base of her shoes. It's so fun! Wow, this. It's so great. They only had it in blue, sadly. Blue's nice. I have a boy hoover. No, no.

Blue's a lovely colour. But yeah, it's amazing. So now I have my full kitten-out glove compartment. Amazing. I have my... coconut scent my hoover obviously

got my God you know what I don't have snack and hydration station oh no that's covered obviously come on please um it's worth checking police

understood what I didn't have what I was alarmed to find myself lacking in when I got to the big Sainsprice what was I missing Andrew I'd never gotten a big trolley in my life in London I didn't have a pound on me

no what am I to do I don't have a pound where do you get them these days I have a pound have fun on your key ring, which is a little like trolley token. Where am I getting that? Oh, like every sharp supermarket's even.

Oh, really? They did, a lot of charity pots will have like a little charity trolley coin. Okay. Okay. And you can have that as a little key wing. That will be fabulous. Catherine. Yeah. How, I've been to your flat. Yeah. There's not room to, to bulk by and then bring in. So what, what are you getting from filling the boot with stuff? Well, you don't have any storage. I got storage.

Where? Yeah, good point. Well, it's that ceiling loft. Yeah, but are you going to put like... I bought a lot of stuff for my freezer. A lot of freezers. What's your freezer looking at? We're free...

The freezer's currently looking at lots of like lunch options. So like prawns, smoked salmon, that kind of thing to go on salad. Oh my God, she's doing well. Yeah. I love to see it. Yeah, yeah. I got a bunch of those like, um, what you call it? Like, you know, those like vegetarian falafels and sausages and all that kind of stuff to go in my freezer?

Like Linda McCartney's. Well, except without gluten. I got loads of loo roll loads of kitchen roll I mean people don't want to hear this No no no they do I actually bogged by a loo roll as well And it's so satisfying

Because you never run out You can have like the messiest week of shit And I'd still be fine Like the, I'm talking like Ones where you're like This might be a whole role You know I wish you could at home see Andrew

Who's no longer blinking And is just staring Into the middle distance Should we have a guest? Yeah Give us something to talk about I think of my bloody do that Please welcome

The Kesa! Hi, it's me, Catherine Bohart, and I have a bunch of work-in-progress shows to tell you about for two different things. The first is for my work-in-progress show at Edinburgh, my new, like, wannabe tour show. I'm going to be doing it on the 20th of July in Hackney. On the 2nd of August, there, all the way till the 9th in Edinburgh.

So you can find dates for that on my website, catherine bowhart.com. otherwise I'm also doing work in progress for my radio show I'm doing it online throwback to Giglis on Zoom on the 15th Andrew's going to tech it for me very sweetly and that will be recording on the 9th of August

in Edinburgh so keep 4 to 7pm on that day free if you're around and I'll tell you when the links up on the BBC website yeah I'm trying to work up a new show I'll also be taking it to Soho Theatre at the end of August 22nd and 23rd I'm really trying to build a new exciting show I'm really nervous about my new idea

so I'd love to have some hogs in, and I'll be honest, I'm really nervous about the radio show, so I would adore to have some young, interested, exciting people who think I'm funny in the room. Please, come along. What's up, hogs?

It's Helen Bauer here. Just to let you know, I am going on tour this year. It's starting in Edinburgh. I'll be there from the 14th to the 27th, and then I'm hitting up Europe. I'm hitting up Paris. Halim, Copenhagen,

the places you've been begging for me to go. And then all around the UK, apart from Wales, For some reason, I don't have a Welsh date yet. So please, if you're in Wales and you have a venue, just let me know and I'll just come there. We'll have a bit of fun. All the tickets are available on my website

and I'd love to see you there. And please bring Helen Gifties. Thank you so much. Goodbye. The keys is here. Welcome. My hair. She turned a look for us.

You did your hair, you did your nails. You came with a vibe. She's got a flick on. Hi. How are you? Hot. Okay, I'm glad to hear it. How are you finding it?

It's way too hot. I went to download a couple weeks ago and it was boiling hot. It was meant to rain and it didn't rain. Do you enjoy festivals? I enjoy festivals. I don't enjoy camping. But then I went back home. How can you like one and not the other?

I find it growth. Oh, I love festivals. I actually love festivals. Even all the port of it all. Yeah. They were so clean. Sikisa actually chooses Portaloo's over regular toilet.

Like you ever go to Sikisa's family home, it's just too Portland outside and they're like, we've got a flushing toilet but we refuse to use it. You got out to clean that toilet, do you? Someone else was doing for you. It's so true. But yeah, then I got home,

and then in four days left was looking in the mirror and then we don't have got a massive tan. Whoa. Oh, if you're not on video, we've got some tan lines on the boobie. It's on the boobie. I mean, the word's massive.

tan might have been a stretch. Oh, okay, that is a massive tan line. I saw the top of a nipple. I saw the top of the nipple. Did you see how I was like, I don't know. I think we're going to have to check that again. There it is. Boobies, but no to see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How was Dan Loz? It was awesome, like, it's one of my favorite festivals. And I got to perform. They sang me happy birthday. That was sexy. Wait, did you do comedy there? Yeah, because they have...

Is Danload a... What kind of music is it? It's a rock. It's a rock email music. Are you into rock music? I love rock music. It's one of my favorite genre. She's like the coolest person I know.

That's a no from me. Oh. That's a no. What? Not even Avrolevene. Avilaean. Avrilavine counts? That's pop music.

Okay, fine. It's pop rock. Fine. Fine. My chemical romance. Evanescence. I saw Evanescence. Oh, okay.

Sorry. If we're doing like quintessential pop rock, yeah, sure. But like, I don't. Avril Levine and Evanescence, sure. Like, I was a teenage girl. Oh, yeah. Obviously. Oh, Amy Lee still looks like amazing

She's gorgeous Of course she does Of course she does And slip not Slipknot That's a no Very cool Some 41

No Yes Yes You've lost me there You've lost me there And me and Josh Pugh We're trying to figure out Best entrance music

For each other And I thought he should walk On to my chemical romance Black parade Do you remember how good The opening to her song is When I was A young boy

My father Oh God And the idea is That you'd have to walk From the back of the venue and sing each line to a different audience member. That will be amazing. It's the best opening to a song ever.

Who was it that Ashley Simpson used to date? Was Pete Wentz from? Yeah. From what? I don't know. Pete Wentz from. Oh, my God. That's gone from my head.

Not my chemical romance. What's Pete Wentz from, Andrew, please. He's from... The Hoosiers. It's not Weezer. It is Pete Wentz best known for Fallout Boy. That's it. Full Out Boy.

Oh my God. I was like, really, I really shipped them on. Remember her TV show where she was becoming a rock star, and he was always in the background being like, what's up? Ashley Simpson's the one that had the big lip syncing scandal. Even though everyone else lip synced

and then for some reason everyone was like, she's a loser. Yeah, because at that time her sister was slightly bigger than she was. Jessica. Yeah, Jessica Simpson. Oh my God, listen. We've talked about her so much lately.

He was married to Nick. Nick Lechay, the newly one. He know, I know. I mean, come on. Chicken of the Sea, guys. Honestly. Honestly. So you had fun

to download if you played did comedy there. Did comedy there on Wednesday and then just had a great time for the rest of festival. I can't imagine it

but I believe you. Yes. And then we're going to Glastonbury tomorrow. So good. Yes. To work? To work

and have some fun. Yeah. I've never been to Glastonbury so it'll be an experience. Yeah. I didn't realize how big it. I've never been either but it looks intimidating.

It's massive. I didn't realize how massive it is. Yeah. People do like, 28,000 steps a day just like get into the different stages. It's a no from me. I can see why it will be a no

from you, knowing how you are. Go on, go on, no, run with that thought, excuse. Run with that thought. You're right. You're right. So not, my blanket policy is no on festivals and then even if they pay you. Yeah, so no. We're doing latitude together. It's really triggering for me. Yeah, so it's funny that. So I was like,

they were like, do you want to do latitude? I was like, I can't. and then Andrew and Helen were like we got off for trusty hugs we want to do it and I was like I guess it's two against one then what day are you doing so I'm going this is the thing Sunday which makes me nervous because obviously that's the end of the Port-a-Loo's lifespan

now but you'll be in the guest area so I did it last year on the Sunday the guest area toilets the last shoot are still minging yeah but I went there last year on the Sunday and it was still okay okay okay are you a person who likes festivals well when I was at download out of the five days that I showered

three of them were cold and then one of them that was warm water I had to wait two and a half hours for a shower so if I could do a day like latitude I'm just going up for the day

yeah that's sexy if drugs were legal yeah and I was the kind of person who did them yes I would tell you that

the first time I'd ever done them had I done them which I wouldn't have because they're illegal I don't understand what's happening would have been at a festival so that I could pay

shall I gack you up in latitude come see trusty hogs live Catherine's going to be gacked up to her eyeballs imagine me speaking faster I know I think I actually might be staying overnight so I'm trying to find an Airbnb close by

for latitude yeah it's a nightmare me and Francis did it a couple of years ago and we stayed in lower stuff so it's like good because it's like we're staying there because there's buses that like go to the festival each day but where the bus drops you off

is so far away from the actual festival ground My plus one is driving. Oh, fine. Yes, he's your plus one. Oh, just a friend of mine called Ollie. Hi, Ollie. I'm assuming Ollie's not listening. Do you know that when Sikisa and I did Live at the Apollo together?

This is honestly, so it was the scariest thing. You weren't in the same episode, were you? No, we filmed on the same day. Did I ever tell you the story? No. So, okay, so we're both nervous. It's our first time doing Live of the Apollo. We were very excited.

And we were petrified and we were choosing your outfits. You looked amazing. And we had Lerina. It was really, like, really gorgeous energy in the dressing room because it was you, me and Kiri and Susie. So it was like, all women. And we were like, look at us. This is so exciting.

And everything was going fine. I was like, gosh, I hope I couldn't get out under this. Smoke screen. Without choking, without coughing. Well, you heard about my smokescreen story. Well, this is the thing. So that was fine. I go up.

I do my rehearsal. I bring my heels because I'm like making sure I can walk in my shoes. I'm not coughing. It's all fine. How many times did they make you practice the smokescreen? I did it twice because I'm like, obviously I asked. They made me do it three times. I kept breathing in.

Okay, that's on you. So I come back and I was like, few, that actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Sikisa goes up next. Next thing we hear. Sikisa's been hit on the head. No.

Sikisa's been hit on the head. I was like, what? Do I don't tell you this story? You walked? No. No, no. No, no. She didn't walk into it.

They freaking dropped it on her in rehearsal. Yeah, they're accidentally, so basically what happened was... Shut the fuck up. The man was like, at the side being like, I'm going to tell you to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. do the walk and I was like cool

they put out the smoke it was a lot of smoke it's a lot it's a lot of smoke yeah I started walking but walking like I couldn't see you know you feel like you're gonna fall so I was walking but I was still walking yeah and the man obviously he was operating it bless him couldn't see me throughout the whole smoke

if in doubt don't put it down and then accidentally put down the thing and I walked head first straight into it and what they didn't know is like what I know which is obviously Sikisi used to be a lawyer so I was like you do not drop on the one person who's going to sue you. You didn't.

But still, I was like, God damn it. That's fucking terrifying. So then I'd done my rehearsal at that point. Obviously, you were being such a trooper. You were like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Yeah, and she was like, it's okay. Everyone's cool. Whereas I was like, oh my God, I'm going to lose my ass.

I just was going to be hell. So then I walked out like, oh God, oh God, oh God, but you poor thing. It was like properly a whack as well. You were doing that thing where you were like, everything's fine. I'm so grateful to be here. Oh, it's a steep. I was like, no, you got whacked. Yeah, and then because I was like

running on the adrenaline in it because it was like an hour and a half before my recording because I was on before you and I was like, we just need to trooper on. Everything's fine, everything's fine, it's fine. And it didn't like, and that's why when you see me come out,

I dance out because I'm like, duck, dog, dog, I need to be dancing out. Just, this is the case. I wouldn't see me coming out, I crawl out. And then it didn't actually kick in until we was at the after. stuff. We was at one of our houses and we were just drinking. I was like, I think

I need to go home. Like, I'm busy. I suddenly have a very bad headache and I was like, do not go to sleep. Yeah. It was so intense. The adrenaline, when it crashes down after a big gig like that is intense. The way it goes and you're like, oh my God, I've got nothing to offer anyone now. And I don't know if we've ever explained exactly

how it works at Apollo, but those like you honestly, the amount of smoke they put in behind the scenes, so when it opens up, the smoke comes out first and then you're meant to follow it. It's like you're already so nerve-wrapped, but you can't see anything until at all parts, and then there's just 3,000 people. And you're like, and they're fully lit and they're like, go on.

Yeah, and the first thing you see is a camera lens and you look straight down. And you're like, hello. Hey, hey, this is very good. Oh, my God, no. I'm glad we've all done it. Yay! Yay! You know what, actually?

Never again. That sounds really arrogant, but like, truly, you have to understand, the three of us started comedy basically around the same time, and we were doing the same open mics, and we were trudging on those bloody megabuses, and we were like a death. really hoping to be fair to be invited to things like Lattitude. So like the fact that we've done it is pretty freaking cool. And now we're going to Lattitude again. Yay!

And I am excited to be there but I am also thrilled that I know. So you say you might not know this about me. I know drive. Oh my God. I'll be driving there and then immediately driving home and I will have my tiny hoover in my car to get the mud off my shoes. Oh, you know what you should do? We bring extra shoes.

Yes, good, she's smart, she's smart, she's smart. Bring extra shoes so you just change them. I wear my little wellies and then. I go barefoot, I go full hippie. Of course you would. When in doubt, barefoot into the Port-a-Loo. I've got you some gifts. Yes!

What? Why? Oh, is it the pretz sandwich? Helen, get out of... Helen, get out of her bag. This one's for Helen. Whoa! Globe trotting. Glob trotting, Rosie Pigs.

Because she does like to go around the world. Percy Pig goes globe-tropting. You know what she's going to do you couldn't have a veggie. Yes, thank you so much. Thank you. We got sweeties and I got my own. This is so nice. And Angie, you get the normal one. So nice. Because you're normal. You're normal. Oh my good. Thank you so much. Thank you. Can I have these later? It's so funny that our podcast. You don't need the sugar. It's so funny that our podcast is like, it says to people,

I'm going to have to bring them sweets and they're all going to have to have their own because they cannot care. Thank you. That's so nice. You know us too well. Yeah, you really do. Yeah, I specifically was like, Globetrotter of Veggie. Thank you. Do you know what she said earlier? She was like, I'm thinking of giving up stand-of comedy

because I think I'm meant to be a traveller. I think I am, though. Like, I'm meant to travel. Thank you, Sakisa. That blank stare, correct? I don't know if we need a Helen Bauer experience around the world. I think we do.

I think I'm actually a global woman and people haven't recognized that yet, but I think I'm meant to see the world. You went to know you were ate a mac and cheese pizza and said you'd had culture. It was a rigatone. Sorry, my bad. Can I then suggest one thing

which will be my only sassy moment of the podcast? I don't believe that for a second. Don't believe that for a second. Then you must change that t-shirt because Little Mermaid is no longer white. Oh my God. It's coming off. Take it up.

No, take it up. Take it up. Why are there holding bras in my bra? It's such, it's a bra that's been with me through so many occasions. And I refuse to get rid of it. It looks like it's a bra that's been with you through barbed wire. It's, yeah, it's hold, it's, it's falling to pieces.

What, have you been calling at yourself? Is this, can I just, no. It's not supportive. It's not supportive, thank you. No, all the support is, it's, it's, it's a lot of pressure on my sweet little shoulders right now. Yeah. But I love her.

I know it's the original, I know it's the original. Yeah. But she's no longer. But you know a lot more about bras than most of us. You are a brawomen. Yeah, I used to work in La Cenza. Yeah, this is all the school bra knowledge. I've done a lot.

I've done a lot. You know me. I do a lot. You've done so many lives. I've got so many lives. The Lecenza life is the best one. Forget immigration law. Tell me more.

La Cenza was great because it was really great discount. It was 35% on normal, 25% on sale. And then it would be really great when you give people the scented beads. I don't if you remember. No. The scented beads. I've never shocked in the bag. Oh my God.

So, Lesenza was great because it obviously was like the original great lingerie fashionable store. They took over Contessa. Okay. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. And you had like the bras and d'oeuvre. different colors, matching underwear. And there was like a little section in the middle

where you had five for 12 pounds underwear, five for 10 pounds. Yeah, underwear, I think it was five for 20 or something like that, but it was like really nice. Okay, the price is changing. It was like 10 years ago, but like it was that kind of level where you would buy those for like your friends as a gift and we put them in a box

and put, it was wrapped in tissue paper and we'll put scented beads around it that you could put in your drawer. Oh, that. But you mustn't eat. Yeah, I feel like you ate. You mustn't eat. Okay. My best friend Karen, when we were growing up,

we used to go visit her grandmother all the time and she used to line the paper, like line the drawers of every cabinet in her house. Isn't that nice? With rose-scented paper. And I just think it's the Sweden. That's a generational thing. My granny did that as like.

Lily of the Valley. Draw centers. I mean, I line my drawers. With what? Scented paper. Tissue paper. paper. Tissue paper.

And I've got scented beads. You love beads. I love beads. I've wrapped into a little like bag to put into... Oh, like those lavender things you can get on holiday. Question. Question. I don't know I said that.

Okay, so one time I was getting... I was trying on some underwear in Victoria's Secret. Yeah. Sexy. Thank you. Thank you. Someone had that kind of money then. Oh, well, listen, I mean, I wasn't exactly paying for it.

The point is... Somebody else's favorite. Her dad's very generous. No! You're in it. Her daddy daughter. No, shut off. Now I've got the image, no.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Mr. Bohart. Not even Boehart. I'm sorry. Have some respect. I'm so sorry. Have some respect. He's a man of God.

No, I had a much older girlfriend and she was sad outside. She needed the rest. She was in her 60s. I don't know if I want a story to be started. I don't even know if I want to continue, but I'm going. I would like to hear the story.

What I was trying to say before you fucking ruined my life was a like evidently I think queer, very cool woman bringing me the underwear and like helping me put it on. And

she was hot and it was confusing. You, queer, worked in a how did you manage to say professional whilst also every woman tried on sexy, sexy underwear? Well at that time I wasn't really queer.

So... Interesting. Like, you didn't have... I feel like maybe that was the start of my revolution. Oh, it turns. I mean, that would get you going, wouldn't that? Yeah. I feel like it did.

Because I always needed to do bra frittings and stuff like that. You could never be like, you always have to be quite professional being like, this is too loose, this is too... You can't do, hell and like, oh... You can't do that. Yeah. Just... A wonderful way to be fitted.

It's a wonderful way to be fitted. But you didn't get awoke something in you. Yeah, I think maybe. it woke something in me. Shout her to Lescenza. To La Censa, pap, pow, pow. Also, should we just do a shout of anyone who's questioning their sexuality to work in a bra shop for a better?

Yeah, maybe. However, my favorite parts of working in the censors is when men used to come in and buy, like, stuff for their partners. Hey, folks, it's Mark Bitman from the podcast, Food with Mark Bitman. It's hard for me to believe we're talking about back to school, but whether you're thinking lunch boxes or nourishing dinners, Whole Foods Market is the place to shop. and their high standards allow you to shop with confidence.

Their house brand, 365 by Whole Foods Market, has everything you need for quick and convenient breakfast, lunches and dinners from oatmeal to trail mix to wild fish sticks. Explore the many ways you can save on back-to-school foods at Whole Foods Market. Did they choose the, do they ever know the right size? No, because you asked them what size is your partner and then 50%, maybe even more than that people, their men

would be like a bit like you. No! But you have to. That's the guess, isn't there? No. It's a guess. And I'm like, okay.

I felt like we needed a mannequin in the school where men can... Point to your wife. Yeah, like to put their hands on it and it expanded or like decreased based on... That is a really good idea for shots in general.

Just have mannequins with all different shapes and sizes and it's like, pick, Your wife. Yeah. Like an identity parade. But they were too optimistic.

They'd be like, I think it's this one. It's like, no, you're just excited. Because then the women will bring them back. Yeah. Because it would normally be like Christmas or like anniversary or like Valentine. Valentine. And you'll be like 32 double D. I remember you.

Is it a triple A brilliant? Because they'd be like, my partner bought this for me. It's the wrong size. And we're like, of course it is. Here's a gift voucher. Or you may exchange it. Yeah. Oh, wow.

That's tragic. But it always used to be like the busiest time was like Valentine's Day Christmas. There was always the busiest time. But then people thought, oh, that's when it stopped. No, five days later was also the busiest time when they turned it. Yeah. I remember I used to work in a department store

and they would, what I noticed about men buying underwear for their partners, aside from the fact that it was like obviously glaringly the wrong choice in terms of size. They only bought two colors. What? Black or red? Yeah, oh yeah, no, it's true. Black or red, black or red, black or...

You know how women are like, ooh, green, orange, white, yeah, like pink, they'll go all kinds. Men were just like, black or red. Yeah, yeah. Those are sexy colors. Yeah, yeah. What they always used to do have pattern ones where it was black and red. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, hideous.

And you like, mark it up, because you're like, they're going to be getting it anyway. It's always with a tireless. Only a man were by black and red. It was red, pattern ones, wow, the latch and underwear. And you'd be like, which style of, like, unlimited. because would she like, would she like a thong? Would she like a Brazilian? Would she like a, and they always pick a thong?

Yeah, because women love wearing thong. It was always a thong and it was always black and red. Hawaii. Black and red, so I know what to buy for myself. Thank you. Yeah, black and red. Everything I do is a performance for the men. Of course.

You have to forget. I'm going to parade around my flat and black and red underwear. With the nail. You can get him, girl. With your thong. With your thong. With your thong, just twerk in front of him.

Just do it. It's like, cover up. Yeah. I think you should bend up. over in your red thong and then turning around to the black front of it. Oh, I'm sorry, I dropped my bread. Have you ever done that? I mean, I am intrigued. Have you ever done that? What? Walked around

in your underwear with Sunil? I was walking around wearing just a swimsuit the other day because I was going to go swimming and I was really, really hot and he was like, put some clothes on! And I was like, I'm going to swim suit! Like, he's definitely... Because you were too appealing? Because I was too appealing. I think he's into it. Do you reckon? Am I sporty swimsuit?

Are you trying to hook up Sunil? I wanted to happen so bad. Really? I'd be so cute. How gorgeous their baby be and so sturdy? Oh,

it'd be really sturdy little girl. So hairy, sturdy girl. Big, big bow of girl. Come out just like, boom. I love her. She'd be so cute. You would love my baby so much.

I would love your baby so hard. That's going to be a big baby. But Sunil's not up fret. We spoke about it. Not even just full like his sperm. I'm milking is a whole... Maybe you can have his sperm. I'd love to.

I'd love to. I would love to see what you'd be so jealous You'd be a nerd of child Honestly Yeah I don't know why As soon as you went

Catholic can have a sperm I immediately felt very defensive Yeah I was like no Actually no she can't I'm sorry I'm gonna ask him If anyone's getting their hands

On that milk I'm gonna ask him I'm not Just Ugh I'm asking Sineel for his sperm formally I'm gonna go on slime country

And I ask him for it I think this is the formal request Sunil. He doesn't listen to the podcast. Senil. I know. Let us know which of us can have your sperm,

Sunil. Can you send this little clip to him, Andrew? Oh, and also, can no one, no one message him being that I was listening to slime can't, I'm sorry,

I was listening to Trustee Hoddes and they said this, don't, don't do that. Do you know what I mean? Don't start up drama at home. And if you could encourage him to choose me. I feel like there's already drama at home.

There's already so much drama. We're in a bad way since we watched the Matrix. Give us a bit of space. Give us a bit of time to figure it all out. I can't. I mean...

Have you not seen Free Willy? Oh, I have. Okay, good. Okay. Yeah. I was saying to her outside that how number two gets complicated, so don't watch number two. Oh, God, you'd never understand how two. Yeah, you know, I understand number two.

It really gets mad. It gets crazy. It gets crazy. Have you ever seen Vanilla Sky? No. Don't, don't, you don't. I feel like the simple films is not in the bad way, but like I feel like the simplest films, the ones that are happy. But this is how she ends up thinking little roommate still wait.

Oh, true. No. You got a challenge your, so you got. Have you seen the new Little Map Mode? No. Oh, you haven't seen? I've not had the time. I've not had the time.

I will. I've not had a time. You know what? That's on us. We're the ones who need to watch it. Yeah. I've still got my ex-partners Disney account.

So when I... When it goes on Disney bus... Yeah, no one. If not, you're more than welcome to have my Disney account. It's got about five people on it at the moment. And for some reason, we've never had a problem. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, well done. I just recently got kicked off Georgie's Netflix. So did I. My best friend, I've got to talk for my best friend's next week, so annoyed. I remember when Emma Black did this to me, you cut them out your life for six months.

No, it's because they're making that new rule where you can only have one household, so I had to get Ellen to get Netflix just so I could have it. Wait, does Ellen... I'm not having one obviously. You and Ellen, like, lived to go?

No, no, no, no, no. No, I just made her set one up in my house. Oh, fine, fair place. She's a good girlfriend. Are you proud of me? I know, I was just like, I was like, okay, this is update. No, are you proud of me out.

We had been together, almost, a year and we haven't even moved in together. Thank you. Thank you, but I am the queen of the lesbian. Yes, thank you. Just for the Netflix. Just for those days. If it's okay with you, we'd love to solve a problem.

You know I love to solve problems. I know you do. As I was going to ask is, what kind of advice giver are you? I can see that you're an enthusiastic one. I like to give out some good advice, I feel. I feel that I've always been like quite practical. You're good at advice. Yeah, quite practical, but also quite honest.

Like, I don't want to give people some false, like, hope sometimes. Okay. However, I don't like... Sometimes we do need to be lied to. Sometimes you need to be lied to. And I feel like, um, recently I've had, like, a situation where my friends have told me some advice and I've been like, no, but I want to do it, I want to do this.

I want to text the person that ghosted me. Let me text a person that ghosted me. Oh, Sykisa, Andrew, Andrew Sikisa. Hello. Hi. Oh, don't worry. It's a whole five minutes in my new show. Come and watch it.

I'm just going to hear. That's the plug we wanted. That's great. Yeah, that's a good plug. I'm in. I'm in. Did you ever add the entire family of somebody that ghosted you on their Facebook

so that you'd come up in their recommended friends because you had mutuals with all their family? No, me neither. Great use of me neither. No. But I will say, I believe this person, I think at least two of their family members, follow me.

Oh. Shout out to the ghost extended family. Yeah, so I don't, I think that's, I know, yeah, so I don't know if that's still the case, if they're still off on with me. But if they are, come to my show, you'll hear all about your, what is it called? It's always funny watching X's family slowly on Bali. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, how long can I reasonably?

Oh my gosh, yes. So we will come back to your show to plug it at the end, but what is it called? It's called, hear me out, or she'll be at Edinburgh up. But, no, basically, the point I was trying to make is that how I just think I really wanted to do something and then when you because it was like part of a release when it's ghosting Andrew you understand you don't get to hear the other person's

view and I think it's the same with like any relationship breakdown whether it's friends family when it's just like you don't have context to end a relationship I just think for me personally I would rather hear someone out and then if you can't come

to a mutual agreement or like understand other people's point of view hear them out then you can like disappear, end it on that note. But when you just, like, disappear and there's no context to, like, why this has happened? Like, then I'm like, you're a fucking bitch. I genuinely wish desperately it was more socially acceptable. I tried to talk about this in my last show as well, but like, to like have it out with

somebody, like, to be like able to break up with a friend, not to be like, hey, this is my feelings, I want to argue about it with you. I'm just letting you know that I don't have, I can't be your friend anymore, but here's why, because it feels so brutal to just stop being someone's friend without explain. why. Yeah. And like, in a way,

it's painful to explain why, but at least they know and they're not like, yeah, I just think having a resolution, I think, only understanding of where that person's coming from, I think is the best thing,

regardless of whether it was sudden or whether it's ongoing, just so you understand. Unless it's a really obvious thing where it's like, if you don't know what you did, then like, come on. But like...

Yeah. This is what I'm saying, if you travel the globe, you don't have these times. You don't have to deal with it because you just... Yeah, I've heard about you and the Russians. Go ahead.

Just be a no bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I heard about you and the Russians. I think you're going to be a good problem solver. Please, everyone. How did you aggressively rip open the Percy Pig bag? Yeah, you've made an absolute mess. How'd you do that?

I bought these pigs in light of the podcast. And I appreciate it massively. And the aggressiveness of it. Whoa. Sorry, Andrew, I'm ready. We're ready, Andrew. Okay. Well, this is a friendship drama. Speaking of, friend breakups and stuff.

Hello, Joshiogs. I'm a long-time listener, and it's my first time writing in. Welcome. I love you guys so much. You always brighten my week. Thank you. Who is this?

This is G. Hi, G. G. I am at uni, and a few weeks ago, I left my iPad at my friend's house. I'd made a video of all our friends saying, happy birthday,

and cut it together for her to play her, but left it there after a night out. When I left it there, she went onto it and searched her name, in my messages. Here we fucking go. Here we go. Oh shit.

Obviously this is a massive breach in my privacy, but unfortunately I have been having a lot of issues with her as a friend. She belittles me, puts me down, et cetera, quite different morals to me.

And I had several conversations with my sister and best friend from home about no longer wanting to be friends with her. And some of the messages had been quite rash telling her that she was telling my friends that I want

wanted her to fuck off, et cetera. Oh my God. Obviously, these are not nice messages to see, especially as we were very close friends, but I should have been honest, and I should have been honest with her, but I had been building up to saying something and didn't think it would be

well received. She's leaving soon to go on a year abroad, so I didn't know if there was much a point. I also feel that she had no trust in our friendship, clearly as she had to go through our messages. However, the drama now is that she is told all of our

mutual friends, even once she isn't super close with, to start to be on her side and not be friends with me. Oh, come on now. I feel so cut off, alone and hurt. Worse than this, I just started my first relationship with a woman and was feeling hard and fast for her. Falling hard and fast for her. She is

our mutual friend and my friend asked her to choose between seeing me and being friends with her. The drama is so intense here. She didn't choose. This hurt so much because I was finally exploring my own sexuality and now I feel like I've lost this new relationship too. Am I justified in asking her to not talk to our mutual friends

about the situation, but in particular, the girl I'm seeing. I know the stuff I said was really bad, but it was never supposed to be read. Also, I'm now worried that the girl I'm seeing is put off by what she has heard, no matter what side she does choose. Luckily, it's the summer holidays soon, but I feel so lost as to whether I'm in the right or wrong, because everyone seems to be taking her side.

Oh, thank you so much. As in, like, you're still at school, do you? Breaking up from uni. Uni, uni, uni. Oh, my God. Okay, this is a lot. It's a lot to, in one situation. Can we break it down?

Please, please. Because I'm in charge. Please, let's break it down. Okay, I, number one, obviously, if you have an issue with a friend, sometimes friends, as you two know, I've seen this live. We've seen it in life. It can be very conflicted. We had an argument during the intro of your episode.

Oh, wow, I can't wait to hear that. Yeah. But sometimes when you know people, I think it's sometimes difficult to express your feelings because you don't know what to say you don't know how to say it for them to not be offended so this is why obviously she's talked to her friend and her best friend or sister and her best friend about assuming her freaking messages have begun through yeah number two it's an invasion of your privacy yeah like massively what number three is she she must have had a suspicious for you to then suddenly search her name and that makes me feel like that person is

quite, what's the word I'm looking for? Self-conscious about themselves. Maybe they know their own personality to know that they are quite difficult at times. I would say that your friend was looking to be wronged.

Sometimes people are like, I am the victim here, we've not been good friends to each other, you've spoken behind your back, I've probably done it as well with other people, and for some reason I'm going to make this my cross that you don't like me, instead of just sort of being like, hey, you know what? Some people aren't meant to be friends. It doesn't sound like there is a friendship

they're worth fighting for. It just doesn't. Well, obviously, this person that's written in cares about the friend because they made them such a lovely message for their birthday. So they obviously do care about the person. I think at times where issues have come out

and you're like, ah, I don't know how to feel about this, how to express myself. This is why you talk to your sister, you talk to your friend because you don't know how to express yourself. But the fact that they made this message and took an effort to make a birthday message,

I don't feel like it's been taken into consideration by this other person, that they actually made an effort that they must care about you because otherwise they wouldn't have turned up at your birthday, they wouldn't have made this message. And for you to take that out of context and just try and make everyone turn on you, I think it's quite mean.

It's mean girl. And so do you think that she should talk to the individual and ask them to not talk to the person that she's dating and their mutual friends about it because I don't think that's the way she should, play it. How would you play it? Look, first of all, G, this is, you're not alone

in this. We all talk to other friends about a difficulty that we're having with friends and relationships move in, through phases and sometimes they're really good and sometimes they can be unhealthy and that can change. What I would say is this is this will feel like such a big deal right now, I promise you, in a

year, it will seem tiny and I think that we're not thinking about like the long game. Long game is presumably you want your friends to be your friends and you want this girl that you're seeing to keep dating you had you do that strategically well first of all you've said that she's going on a year away so you actually are going to win this and they're going to win this by the classic move of Bohart which is being there you're going to be there and she's not going to be there they're not going to hold a grudge on somebody else's behalf if they like you no no one does

it's like when you break up and every all your friends are like oh we hate your ex and then like you see them hanging out on Instagram because ultimately it's not their job to hold onto a grudge for you because that's fine right so they won't do that for very long and also they won't have her there victimizing herself so that'll look it over it second thing to say is i don't think going to somebody who's angry enough to be going around to all your friends and indeed the person you're dating and being like you have to choose is right now the best move what i would instead do is talk to my friends and talk to the girl i was seeing and say hey look i fucked up i should have articulated to her my concerns and said i spoke to other people and i know that

it is consequented in her pain did i expect her to go through my messages no but i'm not going to stand here and defend myself. I'm just going to say look, sometimes we have frustrations that we air them in the wrong way and I should have done it constructively with her. I didn't. Have you never made a mistake? I'm sure you have and I hope that you can understand that generally speaking, I'm a good person and I'm your friend

and it hasn't changed and I'm embarrassed, obviously, and I'm disappointed of course, but like it would be devastating to lose you as a friend and it would be devastating or to like not pursue our relationship. I hope you can understand. Well, so psychopath, read someone else's messages and then

complains to the mutuals. This is why you have friends and different groups to go for. Or different countries. Or different countries. No, but also to just be so sure that you are right. The stuff my German friends think about Catherine and Andrew. It's awful. It's awful, but they're not going to cross over.

Because I actually don't think that how her talking to her sister and her best friend is a bad thing. I know, I know, but like it's just vented. It's just venting your friends. Exactly. It's not even like you're talking to the mutual friends. You're talking outside of the group to two people who are not probably involved in this whole situation.

And also, like, she went through your phone. Like, I do think there's a degree to what she's like... I know, but how badly do you want to gauge those phones right now? I'm trying to think what I'd type in for your search. I don't want to go through your phone. Do you not? First of all, I wouldn't want to touch it. I assume it's covered in calm.

Secondly... No, because remember, I went for the laptop. Yeah, but you don't wash your hands. You don't wash your hands. No, that's true. I would want to see what sexy pictures you've got in there of yourself. I have a lot of moods. Yeah.

I know, like, if you had Catherine's phone... That's such a privilege. What would the type? Would it be tit or like nude or like pick? No, I feel like Bauer, I feel like Clohart is like head to toe. Oh, you know, writing, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lighted. And you're right, she's breathing out for every pic. They're taking like, angles. And there's like a side. I only got into nudes in the last like two years. I hadn't take, I didn't take all my years so young didn't take a single one.

And then I got started and now I can't stop. I can't bath for having a spoutish out. Yeah, I feel like the son. Oh my God, yeah. Yes, it says the shower, sure. I'm trying to think what, my phone is majority gifts from my sister. Don't like this dickpicks. I've got literally, I still have never got a dick pick.

What? I'm not joking. Never. How have you never had a dick pick? Never, not even online. I'll send you a figure this drop-up. I've got 20 in my phone right now. Honestly.

Do you? Do you ask for them? No. They're all unsolicited. Well, people, like, in the floating conversation, people send them in the thought of like, that's going to be sex. in a conversation and I'm like

that this is the wrong timing yeah yeah yeah actually know some of them are in right time and some of them are in wrong timing but you do burlesque surely you have loads of sexy photos too Of course

yeah and that was a dip The best thing about Seekisa's sexy pics Can I say my favorite thing about it? You know what it is it's that Sakeese lives with her mom and dad Right

No they live with me Get it right They live with me I remember when I figured this out five years ago Oh yeah to your house They live with you Wait for it. All the pictures of Sikisa as Onits Patel,

like, you're ordering you go for cabaret. And it's like, God, these are all really well posed. Nobody caught the rest of nothing. Okay, it was so hyper. So, Sikisa's as Onits Patel, like this amazing, sexy cabaret goddess. It's like, who's taken these? Who's taken these?

And it's like, oh, my dad. No. And dad takes the pictures of home. No. I'm still closed. I'm wearing clothes. Fuck on. I'm wearing clothes.

Are you wearing brouettes costumes? I'm wearing costumes but are fully clothed. They're not like me in underwear. It's so funny though. It's just when you think about it, like this is the best daddy ever. It's a supportive dad and we love to see it. That's hilarious.

It's incredible, isn't it? Wow, that's really changed how I see all burlesquoise garters now. I'm going to be like, I wonder which uncle took this photo. But back to you, G. Yeah. I think, I don't think this person in you are men. to be friends. Honestly, I'm going to put it out there.

That's dead in the order. A betrayal of trust is like nothing to fight for. I understand that you're mutual friends, but if they're the right friends, they will totally be like, yeah, that was mad. They went through your phone. It just is mad.

I kind of had a situation similar to this. Or like, in my friendship group, it must have been a decade or so ago. So in our early 20s, one of our friends had read messages of a group of us, right? and some of the things, it wasn't about them personally, but it was about something they'd made.

And like some of them weren't the most complimentary. It wasn't actually that bad, but it wasn't like, it wasn't, no, I don't want to say what it was, but it was like a thing they'd made. And it was like, it was just non-idealistic, but they'd also read it, which was a betrayal. And the way we dealt with it was through a couple of phone calls of like apologies from me and everyone else who was in the group, who was discussing it and sort of saying, look, that was just pure. your nastiness, you shouldn't have seen it. It was just one of those things

that sort of got away from us and we understand you've been massively hurt. And it's been all good since then because that person also was aware that they also shouldn't have searched for this thing. See, that's a nice back in before because I've had situations where I... But it felt bigger than it was at the time.

It felt like, oh my God, I can't have a phone call with a friend where we're going to have an argument. That's a good back and forth and they've acknowledged it, you've acknowledged it because I've had situations where I've made potentially done something and I've not been aware that that's affected someone.

I've apologized about how it's made them feel and they've just been like, fuck you still. And I've just been like, okay, fine. I can't, and that's really quite hurtful because I was tempted to apologize. I put my heart out there to be like, this is the situation. I don't know.

And they've just been like, fuck you. And you're like, okay, if I'm fair play, then I can't do anything about that because that person's not listened to my point of view. It just might me listen to their point of view. And then you're just like, well, what else you could do? and if your friend G is like if you're going to apologise

and your friend it has that that reaction then you're just like well there's nothing I can do I'm just going to have to move on with my life yeah I think I apologise yes you did talk behind the back it's not nice

I also like I do think they can be learning he's like I in school sent a text message just the wrong person about her yeah awful awful awful awful I will never forget the kind of like physical heat that went through my body

of shame and fear and hair and like and this was before you could like delete message they just get like unknown message or something yeah hell it was hell it was hell it was hell it was hell even when I think about it now but you know what it did make me I mean I'm actually no it probably didn't for a short period of time it reminded me like do I actually mean what I'm saying yeah like is it worth saying this mean thing or is it just to be funny and at the in this exact moment in time if I

don't need to say something I mean about somebody try not to and if you've learned that you'll grow from But, like, also, it's completely normal and natural to talk to a little bit. I think we're saying that treat every conversation like a spy is listening. Only have them in the shower. They're naked, no wire. And then you can vent. And then Catherine will take pictures. Yeah.

You look hard. Okay. Hello. Fact of life is you're going to vent to friends. You are. You're going to vent and you're going to talk about people behind their backs. It's just, it's part of what this society is. Okay?

We do it. it. We all do it. And if they're going to pretend that they're all holier than thou and they really, really are going to judge you harsh you for her. By the way, if this girl now won't date you because of this, she was not your girl. She's not your person. I mean, she's really not. Like, I am honestly, such a bitch

and my girlfriend will not bitch with me. Like, she just like doesn't have anything. She's such a good person. She's so, she's so bad at gossip. She's so bad at slogging people all because she genuinely is just like, gosh, I wonder how they see it. And you're like, shut up, but the point is this. If if she, she knows who I am

if I then was caught out in something and she was like I can't believe you did that I'd be like what I'm willing to bet that all the friends now judging you for having said these mean things have occasionally bitched with you like yeah it's like come on you can't be hypocritical with certain things no so what's our thing that we're saying to G then

I'm saying this woman's going on study abroad yeah apologize as much as you feel it is appropriate and tell them that they mean a lot to you that you'd be devastated to lose them as friends and then see where it lies, but I genuinely don't think that this group of people are going to hold her grudge

for her in her absence, which means in about three months' time, none of you'll really remember. I think it's going to fizzle away. I think it's going to be something that's going to repeatedly come up for a year or so. I mean, they'll make jokes about it all the time. People are joking about it,

and it's your job then to take the joke. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Oh, stop it, like, it's really pissed. Just be like, look, okay, I get, what happened here. I'm a bitch. Just go along, like, laugh it off,

as best you can and this girl that you're dating does not own your sexuality it's not tethered to her so when you're like I'm finally exploring my sexuality if she's not going to stick with you in it then your sexuality will be explored in many other ways

can't hang out with me man we'll help you do that and do you want to just general advice going forward the case is dad will take sexy pictures of you general advice going forward pass codes are important and obviously code names people forget about them but genuinely really good

and don't do an anagram and try to be smart that way like really codename it but don't use names for the people you know I've had that for retirees I like characters from the office but everyone's different like whatever works for you well you could use the little mermaid ones if you want to yeah what's the scuddle butt you know like stuff like that very nice

Sikisa you're so good at giving advice thank you nailed it you nailed it it was hope that helps G so Sikisa where can people follow you online you can follow me I don't know why I'm not doing that but you can follow me online

or it's Sikisa underscore aka underscore Twix on Instagram or if you just type in Sikisa comedy it will pop up or Twix comedy no there's some other bitch that has a Twix comedy page I don't know who this bitch is but there's some other woman has someone else has got a Twix comedy page

I don't know who this bitch is okay so Sikisa Sikisa underscore comedy on Instagram What about on Twitter What about Twitter? Sikisa Comedy. Are you on TikTok?

I am Sikisa Comedy. Titter on website, sikisacomedy.comedy. They can come see you at Edinburgh. Come see me in Edinburgh at the Monkey Bower. Doing stand-up comedy. Where can they see you do cabaret? You can see me do cabaret around the UK. I will be in Gloucester soon doing burlesque.

I will be... Shout out to Gloucester. Shout out to Gloucester. I'll be onyx Fatal. I work quite a lot for the Cocoa Butter Club and the House of Burles. So come see me with them. And where will we be the first weekend of August?

We would be playing Pokemon Go. I've literally, I don't know she's told you. No. Catherine wouldn't approve of it. Okay, right. So basically is- Pokemon Go Fest is happening in South London. Yeah, there's a Pokemon Go Festival

was happening in South London. Okay. We got the message and I was like, I'm in Edinburgh. And then I was like, I fly down. What? You're flying from Edinburgh. There's going to be rare regional.

You only have just arrived in Edinburgh. Yeah. Why are you doing that? To collect Pokemon. Yeah. Why? Because it's Pokemon Go. It's a Pokemon Go.

So when are you going to Edinburgh? The 31st of July. You're flying back to London the next day for Pokemon Go. So he said, don't do that. No, no, no. It's the six. It's the six.

Oh, fine. I thought you're flying by the next day. I mean, to be clear, that's still madness. Yeah. 24 hours of Pokemon catch in. Yeah, I'm flying back for like six hours. Is this in your weird Pokemon group with James A. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, God. I wish you will. join us absolutely not come on join us I do like Catherine it's not coming across today

because we're having a friendship thing but she can't join I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't want that's like me going to one of Catherine's beige dinner parties like I'd feel something you'd be a nightmare it was a theme for one they are not themselves beige

how about the theme was beige yeah I made lobster pasta that's divine okay and we wore beige the theme was beige foods because my girlfriend's favorite foods are beige.

But I elevated it. Oh, I see. I wasn't going to make chicken. I'm really nervous right now, so Kisa's going to go into, you know, like that bit of material you have about like on white people's bodies.

No, and they're going to it because you said lobster and I was like, well done. Yeah, and also, to be clear, yes, I'm a woman who sweats when she eats

salt and vinegar crisps. Like I, 100, I fall into that white bracket 100%. No, but you said lobster, so I was sitting in my head going, well done. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It was much more expensive. expensive expensive than I expected it to be or indeed would have paid had I not already told everyone I was making it so don't really stand by the decision but I did it well that's what you should always do never tell people what you're making no big mistake yeah never tell people what you're making yeah order dominoes instead thank you so much so kesa whee yay! Thank you.