Tuesdays with Stories! - #234 Can Prop

Episode Date: February 27, 2018

After a lively discussion about menoupause and the best places to drop a load, Mark & Joe get into Mark's time in Buffalo while dealing with their weird accents & Joe's Comedy Cellar hang and puke fil...led weekend at the Stress Factory in New Jersey! Check it out! We now have WEEKLY bonus eps with Mark & Joe talking about whatever! Get on it! www.patreon.com/tuesdays We have have NEW t-shirts. Get em' here! www.merchpump.com/product-category/tuesdays/ Download the Laughable app today! laughable.com/download Go on iTunes and give the pod a #5StarLunch review!1

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a stand-up New York Labs production providing you podcasts since 2013 Hey Mark Norman here, it's that time of the year again folks March Madness takes over NcAA Bracketology is coming at ya join the action by entering the bet DSI million dollar bracket challenge and win Big this NcAA tournament season compete head-to-head in the bet DSI bracket challenge for your chance to take home the guaranteed prizes and a chance to win one million smackeru's baby
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Starting point is 00:01:39 stories Hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag Ha ha ha Surf's up And she didn't even flush Knock knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe less. Yeah, it's Tuesdays with stories everybody That's terrible. This is supposed to be cheesy
Starting point is 00:02:01 My Welcome to Tuesdays. Holy hell anal jizz cock mark Norman here, you know, you love him cunt fuck shit ass stains blood Coming the eye. It's Joe list and that's mark coming in hot tonight Expletives Explosives Explosives expletives it might be something too though. Oh, I think expletives It's like something epitaph. Yeah, or epithet epithet
Starting point is 00:02:38 Epithetic and sip of the empathy. I never got my never got that I pretend to get it I don't even get waste not want not I'm being completely honest. No, I don't know anything from anything But hey, can I just stay I just before I forget. Uh-huh. We got a hell of a menopause email. Do you read that thing? No, I love a man. Oh my god. It's like the Declaration of Independence Independence really said not to say her name, but she sent it to the Tuesdays with stories at Gmail By the way, a lot of great emails. Thanks for emailing. I mentioned the email. Everyone emailed. I gotta I gotta get on that Yeah, someone's reading our emails. I think it's still big Kev big gay Kev I think he's still got her a better crotch, but a lady
Starting point is 00:03:13 I've we talked about menopause. She gave me the book. Look at this thing bullet points. It's whoa And by the way, it sounds like a complete nightmare and no one's talking about this menopause That's what women do. They bottle everything. Tell us ladies talk to us I don't know anything about eating you out of your asshole. Talk to me. They only bottle sex No, everything men bottle men bottle. We don't bottle men bottle. I feel like women bottle They bottle menopause they bottle menstruation. They bottle sex. Mine doesn't bottle menstruate I bottle it for and I drink it later. I put in a little Gatorade cup. You can sell that An elixir
Starting point is 00:03:48 Boy, she doesn't bottle menstruate. They bottle shitting too. Yes. I got a bit about the shit bottle But it's not like that's not a bottle a bottle's like I'm dying to say something, but I won't shitting is just like Hey, I'm gonna take a shit. I don't know if that qualifies as a well I mean a guy's like, oh, I gotta take a big steam and boom boom I know but walk around saying that but there's a difference between a bottle and a non disclose. Maybe it's a jar It may be jarring it. Yes. Well shitting can be jarring actually Yeah, and don't leave the door a jar but like bottles more like my dad fucked me in the ass when I was nine I think that's a bottle with a bottle a bottle a shit. I gotta take a shit. It's just like I'm respectful to my peers
Starting point is 00:04:28 All right, but also farting Bottle all wrong. You don't know what a bottle is. I'm telling you they bottle it It's like one of those sayings that we were just at the idioms, you know, you don't know those and you don't know bottle I'm telling you right now. You know bottle. All right Maybe a maybe a bodily function isn't a bottle bottle is like, you know, my wife forgot my birthday I don't say anything and then two years later. I'm like remember in 89. You forgot my birthday. You can't that's a bottle Fart is like I gotta I don't want to be fart. I'm embarrassed. Okay. Well, I hear you. You're right. Okay, but They're hiding it still. Ah still hidden. It's all secretive. It's like the CIA, right?
Starting point is 00:05:08 But I mean but I mean how bad do you want a girl to be like coming down? I don't I want it. I'm just saying that's how they are. So it's a good bottle. It's not a bottle. It's no bottle. It's a good jar It's a jar. All right. That was the door. Yes. I hope not But anyways this menopause it sounds crazy. She's like I'm swollen. I'm bleeding She had to go to the surgery. She was depressed She couldn't leave her house, but she was like you got to be empathetic and sympathetic But but the good news the color at the end of the rainbow. What's that the land of the rainbow light? Right at the end of the rainbow tunnel the bottle at the end of the tunnel rainbow
Starting point is 00:05:45 Yeah, tunnel vision is that you can still fight you still get horny like this woman was like I'm horny all the time Still so that's good, and you can blow a load all over those walls. Yeah Yeah, you can paint in there. Well these days with the IUD that provides explosive device You can still come right on their mouth and tits and head. It's true I did a big jizz earlier this morning. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, yeah, right on the on the can't see she props them Really little dinner tray, and I'm right on there can't prop between you me and the Lamp post and the table and the desk and the mics and all the people I don't know that I've ever come on a pair of tits in my life
Starting point is 00:06:18 Other than my own come on. Yeah, because it's uh, it's hard to pull. I like coming on the pussy I like a pussy. Oh, I like that too. I got nice right on there. It's like you're trying to seal the pita. Yeah, then you lick it up I Got a laugh from Shelby. Those are tough to come by. He's a fan of come But anyway, by the way, come town. How about those come town boys? They are killed I sold out carolines that fat faggot Told me they sold 450 tickets in DC and there was nine women there 341 tickets like the alright
Starting point is 00:06:54 Good Lord, but anyways, so get on the patreon for God's sakes. We got to get in the game That we talked about come more than them and towns. I don't know about that. I think they do a lot I've never heard the podcast. It's pretty good. All right. Well good check out our patreon We got a bunch of bonus shit live episodes all kinds of stuff happening. Oh, we got to get this out May 7th Village Underground eight o'clock live pod. Yes, that's gonna be big. We got to sell that mofo out That's a big room. Yes, and also don't forget. We're doing the fucking moon tower We don't have all the details yet, but book your flights book your hotels come down to Austin Get something to add and the bonus episodes are now every week. They're not like sometimes
Starting point is 00:07:35 hopefully Hopefully we can get them in every week. We're working on it. We're on the road. We're gay. We're fat We do some sort of bonus will be up every week. They're not like every two months. No All kinds of stuff. Yeah, we got to do one hour sit down with Shelby by himself this week just him talking Wow I can't wait Three bucks three dollars three dollars. You can stuff three dollars in your ass will not even feel it That's true. $2 bill in a one. Yeah, or a one and two fives or 12 quarters. Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's like everything I had mentally. Um, I can't compute numbers
Starting point is 00:08:17 Well, we're talking about something started the the menopause jizzing on tits. Oh, yeah, I think I never came on a tip Yeah, you should do it. You'd have to get them on their knees, I guess Oh, you have to like kind of crawl up there if they're laying down. It's a tough maneuver This is how much of a good jizz sport the gal is I'll go about the guy and she props up. She gets into like Battle stations, but what position are you in before where she it has to be like a shuffle in a roll There's a shuffle in a roll. It's like when the fire starts. It's a shake rattle and roll What do you call it? We don't want to fire hits. You got stop drop Stop dropping roll when she stops perks and
Starting point is 00:08:55 Wow, and you can hold it that long. I mean it's quits a quick maneuver. It's but Wow, so you're in the missionary pose sure she does a flip in a scooch No, if she's missionary I pull out and she just pops up on her butt But she's got a swing or fibula is around fibula a tibula. What's the bottom leg? Fever a game. I don't know. Hey, what do you call that? They fucked you in New Orleans Fima. Yeah, that's right Whoo hamstring but yeah, so She she she'll just pop the leg up swing it around me and I'm up and smush. Wow
Starting point is 00:09:32 Yeah, it's like a choreograph thing. Yeah, cuz sometimes we'll do a dirty talk where it's like yeah come on your tits But then there's no actual coming on the tip and even in my old younger days. I came on a couple faces Oh, all right a few feet. Maybe a tummy a pussy. Okay, my own mouth that she held my ankles up Yeah, that's hot God, can you imagine? I've held women's legs up and that feeling I'd feel like a baby getting changed, you know like how yeah Yeah, it's so vulnerable your assholes out there your pubes your taint your balls Well, there's two their assholes all kinds of except I can count the rings. Yeah. Yeah, it's how you know how old she is Yeah, but uh, I don't know a woman's on that whole area of a woman
Starting point is 00:10:11 I want to just it's like a buffet. I feel like it's a it's like a diner menu. I'm like, I'll take all of it I know I want to live down there. I want to smack and spank and suck Hickies band rent on that studio, but Hickey a lip Hickey. Sure. I just go tongue all around painting of offense like Mark Twain Yeah, I've been down Mark Twain Huck Finn. Oh, I see. Hey painted the fence. Oh, okay. I think or was it Tom Soy I haven't read a lot of Huck Finn. I gotta be honest They say the n-word more than us which is good to know. Yeah, that's good to know. They take theirs They took theirs out. We didn't yeah, there's that's uh, it's very weird. Yeah, it doesn't seem Helpful. Yeah, I know we it was a thing. Yeah, well, and it's also the story is also
Starting point is 00:10:58 About a guy saying the thing like it's like It's not it's not like he's just like yeah, these black people are n-words right of a story I believe yeah, because then in that case you should take it out of American history X or good fellas or Mean streets hmm because they're saying it You know in a bad way, right? Did you know our tweets go into the library of commerce or Congress? No Yeah, our tweets are all recorded into the library of commerce or content. That's hilarious. Yeah, it's all there Huh like it's all on record Wow that bizarre, but it's it's digital So we can go in and go like to a card catalog and go all right
Starting point is 00:11:43 No, that would be too many things. Yeah, like you could go and find all the tweets ever So is that's how they said how these nuts do it who like want to bust? You know Trevor Noah they can just go to the tweet library of anal and dig it up I think they do I think somehow they they hack and they get in there. Mmm. I don't know nothing about anything You watch any Olympics speaking of hacks. I watched a good bit of curling. I feel like it was all curling Yeah, a lot of curl and I saw the women win the American women hockey. Yeah, they won I saw a little sledding and I saw a touch of red Gerard. You see in this kid He's like an eight foot two midget little guy and killing it. He's like 11 years old. No kidding
Starting point is 00:12:23 Yes, no board kid. I think a touch of red. Yeah red Gerard and with a touch of red And then he got Sean white who came back got a gold medal Yeah, but then they tried to meet to him, but it didn't really catch. Oh, you didn't hear that What happened the flying tomato? Well, he had a band and he made the woman watch people two people fuck on a dead bear Video and he kind of made her watch some videos and said something weird I'm better than a live bear. They tried to meet me to his ass, but I didn't quite catch on Yeah, sometimes they don't catch. Well, they people kept writing. Why aren't we talking about this?
Starting point is 00:12:58 And it's weird because you're like, well Because that already happened and he said he had like an out-of-court Settlement or whatever. It's like, well, that's not happening right now. It's it's very I don't want to go down that fucking hole again But well, if you want to get into Olympics, I did a little googling out of curiosity You know what tea? Yes Itty-bitty itty committee itty-bitty titty committee. Thank you. You know what you get for winning a gold medal a gold medal and Really? Yes. What?
Starting point is 00:13:31 In America you get 37 grand. No shit. Yeah, Google it shell town. I thought it was supposed to be Amateur not out, but you got to fly your way out and all that So if you win you get a little piece of the pie second place is like 20 grand third place I think 15 grand for the bronze that is a hockey team are all 20 guys getting 37 grand That's what I was wondering. I can't imagine because in Russia you get a hundred grand for winning a gold No kidding or maybe even a like a 500 grand. It was something crazy. I'm gonna fart please Hey, that was a silver a Shelby's region for the mic. He's got something
Starting point is 00:14:10 Yeah, you had it in US 37 grand and in Singapore it's like a million dollars They've never won a medal have they and when a gold I don't think that I think they know that they're gonna win one The winter Olympics Singapore doesn't have any I think they won the golden caning They get like 250 grand for bronze too, so Shelby's really liberal with the laughs today. That's two. I've never heard one before this. Yeah. Yeah, what happened? Paxel, what's going on so long?
Starting point is 00:14:42 We got a new leg lip reduction Somebody's on Molly Shelby's cracking up over there. I've never had this feeling before very odd Nice, I like it. Yeah Anyways, so menopause is a thing and it's like my bit in my last special the menopause I thought it would be a good time because you always hear women complaining But in my mind, I'm like menstruation is gone. Why wouldn't it be great? But you don't hear about the hot flashes. It's a night
Starting point is 00:15:11 But when the hot flash it sounds like oh you get hot, but she's like it starts and it's a thing I want to find some of these quotes here. I mean she said it really gets kooky one day as a woman I'm already having hot flashes. It's a estrogen replacement. She had an estrogen replacement the not so good rapid weight gain Night sweats hot flashes at night, but wake up with the sheets at night I wake up with the sheets so good wet and these train run. These all sound like rock bands like night sweats Flash is rapid weight gain. Yes worse than you think. Yeah Estrogen replacement it starts. She said okay, so a hot flashes. It's so much worse than you think you get hot. Yes But it kind of starts from the inside and radiates outwards. Whoa
Starting point is 00:15:55 Like I think it's a rough time interesting She said they're coming so fast and frequently one after the other that I had to go and get estrogen replacement Wow name to man makes you wonder back in the 1812s with these gals were doing oh they probably hung them. They probably were like she's a fucking boiling witch. Yeah, burn her Boy tough tough hand. I mean these women. I really got it tough Yeah, the fingering and they're physically, you know weaker But you know you figure women are weak physically, but they they figure out these mental moves, you know women are so good
Starting point is 00:16:32 Instinctively intellectually mmm. Yes, very good intuition. Yes, you know when you're you walk in your girlfriend goes what's wrong? And you're like damn, how'd you know I went gay or whatever? She knew you were bottling. Yes Yeah, they had a mother instinct and great great People good people love women, but I will say this I feel like women aren't proud of the the things they're good at Really, I'm seeing all kinds of pride out here. I think they go. Hey, we want to be a CEO We want to be this we can do anything a man can do it's like yeah But you can do so many cool things that you don't really brag about hmm like what what's some example? I feel like if you go hey women, you know, they're they're very nurturing to go
Starting point is 00:17:08 Wow, we're not just a stay-at-home cunt. We can do whatever we want. It's like yeah I'm just saying you're good at that right. That's not nothing to be ashamed of that's something too Yeah Hug that baby. Yeah. Well, I mean I feel bad about this estrogen replacement business I had no idea that's tough and the periods and the bleeding and everyone's trying to fuck you It seems like a real nightmare out there, but yeah, and then that's another thing You know a lot of guys trying to fuck women, which has got to be brutal But then sometimes I think they like trying to get fucked of course you want to get fine
Starting point is 00:17:37 I mean, that's you want to be desirable, but you don't want to deal with you. It's a tough It's a thing we're all dealing with it's all very difficult. That's important thing to remember when you're out there Is everybody's fighting their own battles? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah women seem to have more internal strife They bottle they bottle and jar mm-hmm a lot linger Well speaking of little kids the Olympics by the way the I did watch I mean, I don't sound bad But I watched so much NHL hockey watching the women is It's tough. There's just that skill level is not it's exciting. It was a great game But there's so many times they just dump the puck to nowhere
Starting point is 00:18:14 They just drop the puck off and there's nobody there and then like the stick handling They can just pick the pocket like they just take like if you watch the NHL like three times a game Someone will just have the puck just taken from them. This is just like whoop. I have it now But I shouldn't be talking about this. I sound but I mean I watched it. I enjoyed it very much Yeah, yeah one but some of the quality hockey you're like fuck but the same with the germ I don't want to go on a sports thing the German the gold medal men's game Germany had a power play with the gold lead and they just gave the puck to the Russians They just dumped it on there. It's like here you go and then they lost it was crazy man
Starting point is 00:18:49 Are they are they a hockey folk Germany? Yeah, the best I've ever done there at 66 whoa to one odds I've never been in a gold medal game, but that's the only there was no NHL player So same with the men's the quality was so low because they had no NHL players They had like old NHL players and like minor league players, right? You're watching like what are you doing? Yeah, spoil by watching the highest level of the sport for so long. Who's the best Canada? Canada traditionally is the best, but they got fucking beat by Germany this kind of killed by Germany It was crazy and then rushes up there rushes up there I mean we're it's usually Canada and us and then Russia and you got Finland
Starting point is 00:19:25 Fin the fins are good. Are you finished now? I'm almost finished But anyways hot speaking of hockey I went to the beanpot. Yeah I feel like I mentioned it a little bit. Maybe I teased. Well, you mentioned a little bit of eater Well, I what was Gary Veter who's just the best guy in the world. What a guy Veter I've talked about before but he's a quiet little minx and he just gets a line and every now and then when he needs to And you just go I forgot you were here and I'm so glad you are right, but then one-on-one. He's a talking machine Oh, is he? Oh, yeah, you're the car ride with him. I'm like, are you gonna take it easy, buddy, right? Right, right slow it down. It's so exciting. He took a seatbelt off and got my lap while we were driving on the mass turnpike
Starting point is 00:20:05 I'm like take it down or not. I believe it. You gotta get that car seat He's the best and he's fun and he's sweet in his comedy is killer killer jokes. We went up to bean town We did the hideout on a Tuesday night. That sounds hip. Did I talk about this? I Can't remember. I don't think you did. Did I talk about this? I want to hear about a hideout. Oh god. Are you sure I didn't talk about this? I'm pretty sure there all time. Call in. Lay it in. Well last week we did Key West and we did the wedding. Yeah All right, so here comes some some Hockey slash hideout talk. Well Monday we went to the Beanpot, which was a great time It's a big college tournament in Boston, Northeastern Boston College, Boston University, Harvard
Starting point is 00:20:45 And this year the first game was Harvard and Boston College. Hell of a game We snuck down to Good Seat because nobody was there yet. It's like four o'clock in the afternoon Took the bus up fun bus ride went to Burger King the whole thing nice BK That was when I got in the fight with the lady on Instagram as some of you were Partook I posted this thing about the Peter Rabbit thing. Yes. There's like a peanut-owl a blueberry allergy bullshit I just wrote this is crazy. Comedy's dead. This woman's like oh comedy's dead and we're getting a fight Really crazy lady. She blocked me eventually, but these these kooks. She doesn't even have kids Yes, it is dead because of people like you you crazy twat
Starting point is 00:21:23 She's like you're making jokes about food allergies You don't know shit about food allergies and and then she kept calling kids dumb She's like I work with kids and they're dumb enough to try this They're dumb. I wrote to the parents of the kids you work with know how dumb you think their kids are right? It's very strange. Yeah, and then my friend my best friend Derek I talk about all the time his kid is named after me and he's got fucking peanut allergy Oh really? Yes, and Derek's like this is hilarious. This woman's a kook. There you go So people affected by it. Don't give a shit. You're a fucking you have no kids
Starting point is 00:21:56 You're just a lonely fucking whack job. She's got nothing you're the first bird She's talked to in years and she's got sperm eyebrows to sperm. I yeah a real case of sperm. I What look at her? I'll send you a photo her eyes are wack like tadpoles. They're like painted on or whatever by the way your Eyebrows are goofy and she wrote. Yeah, right and gave like the crying laughing emoji But I'm like this gal's way out to lunch real cuckoo bird, but she blocked me and I assume she's good now anyways But anyways, we went up there We went to the Beanpot great game Boston College came back to beat Harvard or maybe Harvard won an overtime actually
Starting point is 00:22:32 Yeah, BC came back tied it went to overtime hot overtime game and then Northeastern hadn't won since 1988 30-year drought mark That's a long drought big drought. That's like LA Yeah, wild drought. So we watched that game and we went we decided we got a route for Northeastern because they didn't Want in so long and the crowd was packed and everyone's chanting you sock and everyone goes crazy college fun the band and just a great Killer game great time Northeastern killed them. We went crazy great night fun. Then we went to Mike's roast beef I took two Jews there in the last few weeks. Ari should fear and Gary Vita I said you got to go to Mike's Rose be that Everett. It's up in Everett. Yeah I took me there years ago that place is great my old neck of the way super beef three way
Starting point is 00:23:13 It's gonna be gone. Sue cuz they're building a casino. It's a whole thing casino casino casino casin it I liked it better. What was called good fellas? Uh-huh David's big. Yes the spade in America. Yeah, I used to love that So anyways, Harry Hatcher came on and she said oh, I saw black sheep liked a better one was called Tommy boy And the place went nuts. She did it to him It's good for the goose. It's good for the gander. What's that spader? But anyways, we came back from there and then the next day we did the hideout, which was really fun We have sold out, but it was a little tough sledding if you ask me Well, what do you see in that bitch? Oh, not many 70 something like that. That's a good good piece
Starting point is 00:23:51 Yeah, but yeah, so and it was pretty packed And it was a girl went to high school with there And there was a few people there that I know a couple comics that I love bulger stop by that guy's as good as it gets Hey, one of the best out there for my money, but um hang in comedy. It was a little tough little tough It was hard to get a good momentum going there was no there's no stage It was very small the right on top of you, but there's no stage So there's and there's no they're kind of lit you can kind of see their faces That's one of these rumors is a mirror in the back. You see yourself. I'm like I keep catching myself in the mirror
Starting point is 00:24:23 Yes, I don't want to kill myself. Sure. I know are they drunken rowdy or they just kind of quiet a little sub dude And then there was a group a small group like four they kept going Oh Hey, you gotta not do that. Yeah, laugh or don't laugh Hate the whoa. Yeah, the whoa is going it's so kind of sending it's going I got that yeah Shut up. It's real silly and Frankie Quinn was there hadn't seen Frankie in a long time. Love you Frankie FG He's a he's a OG FG. I was there from the get go. He's a mensch of the cinch that guy's lunch Yeah, real lunch. So thank you Frankie. Good to see you buddy and
Starting point is 00:25:03 Yeah, that was that I guess They had nothing to see I was in Buffalo Yeah, buff the fluff and good times I gotta I gotta throw a go-pack Joe came out to a show drove three hours or whatever Jesus big fill. We love you. You know Chipotle cars a lot of fans up there good club. You did your album there I did. Yes. Yes. So I like to get a toast of the town a little bit. So I went and got pierogies at Rue Street Great for you ever had a pierogue. I don't think so. It's basically got a Polish dumpling. Oh, I was thinking that was the water What's the water? Huh?
Starting point is 00:25:39 Isn't there a Pariette a pariette Is there a Peroni Perone? That's a beer. Hold on. I know what's the water at the same telegram. Oh, I agree No, that's what I'm thinking of nice pole very different Yeah, yeah, I had a good and I got this guy out there Sean Murphy now I got a plug this fag this guy open for me in Portland helium and I said I got to get this guy back. This guy is so funny Sean Murphy Gangly eight foot nine crazy face weird-looking Boston
Starting point is 00:26:12 Buffalo accent the Buffalo accent is horrific by the way. Yeah, most accents are real bad It's you Boston says cat pock the cat and and Buffalo says car So I'm mark Norman We were talking about comics and he's like What do you think of Kevin Hart and I can't stop laughing that accent. It's so gross Yeah, I mean you fuck a girl out there and it's a hey mark. Fuck me harder It's gross But had a good time in buff and went went out to Allen Street, which is like their Bourbon Street kind of thing
Starting point is 00:26:45 Yeah, got hammered at a fritzies or Ditzies and then I went to the stakeout Like the hideout, which is their roast beef place Oh, and it's for the morning all the bars are closed all the drunks go to the stakeout You know a steak is an eat steak Oh, I see and it's like a hoagie kind of place and it was bananas in there It was fist fights It was like the thug guys beating up with the fratty guys like coming together worlds colliding and you know This poor staff, you know poor staffs. They're like
Starting point is 00:27:25 It was crazy and then it was like the source awards in there They had oh like fur coats and gold chains and then on the other side it was boat shoes and polos It was bananas y'all I got no love for the West Coast. Yeah, we know what coast we are exactly let it be known Let it be known So that was fun, then that buffalo is fun because you just you just Kickback to New York in an hour and a half on the plane. Oh, that's nice one time I was there with Topolo and Halloween for after
Starting point is 00:27:53 2013 right the Red Sox won the World Series. He was at the game. That's neither here nor there But I drove and he flew yeah, and so I dropped him off the airport and I was like I don't see it I started driving and he's like I'm in my bedroom right now I was like, you know, I could still see the club in my rear view mirror. Oh, it was brutal There's nothing better than that contrast like that happened when I did Louie open for Louie on the road. We were in Worcester or no Springfield mass and I drove back with my parents and I was going to Pearlton the next day They flew in the private jet and they were home literally four hours before us in Manhattan Yeah in the same state. Oh my god. It's all state. It makes a difference, but yeah, so
Starting point is 00:28:31 Got back Sunday night to Manhattan I had tickets with the lady to see John Mulaney at Radio City Music Hall Sold out seven shows did the math. That's 49,000 people shooting the special too, right? Yes Cameras galore. So he had this guy Maxwell vestry open. They're all in suits. You know, they're really cute little clean-cut boys Yeah, and he had John Brian You know who that is. I know cuz you told me about he does the music for punch drunk a lot of a lot of PTA Paul Thomas And oh, wow, so he does on Mulaney loves this guy So he hit him up and he played the organ the old organ in the fucking theater Wow
Starting point is 00:29:12 And it was beautiful music play like Neil Young, but it was all organi Yes, you know, he played like a Tom Petty thing or whatever and the crowd got into it And then the curtain goes up and then out runs the little gay Mulaney in his suit and his hair is combed And he looks so Crisp and new quaffed quaffed always well quaffed and man when I say he belted out an hour of Quality yuck em ups. This was lights out really killer stuff. I mean Chris rock get out of here Some of Dave Chappelle specials move over Mulaney killer. That's he's gonna be a household name after this I can't to say I mean he's already a pretty household in these days. I mean you go. Hey mom
Starting point is 00:29:53 What do you know about Mulaney? She goes? Oh, that's the guy who cuts the lawn, right? I think this will put it and he's 35. He's still young. He this is it I have some theories that that set jarred me like fucked me up I think that his sitcom bombing really lit a dick up his jizz. Yeah, I think so by the way I think it might be younger than 30. He's younger than I am. I'm 35. He's a year younger than me. Oh, geez. I believe well There you go. Yeah, I mean I can't wait to see it. He's just a killer comic He's one of those guys have talked about it. I don't know quite where and how he's working out all the material I don't either you never see him go on the road. He's always writing something. He pops into here and there
Starting point is 00:30:28 But that's about it. Yeah, he's I've said before he's so in tune to what's funny about him and his sense of humor So he has all these bits that I'm like I would never I would just be like no one wants to hear about home alone And then he does he sticks with it and it's killer killer. He's got a Charlie's Chaka factory chunk and it's all great It's all like how did I miss that? That's such a good observation and he finds it all and he does 20 minutes on an assembly in school Wow, it's all observational. It's all gold and just a quality guy Good a good good guy sober dude Chicago inner-city douche the whole thing and he's it's from the inner city Yeah, he's from I think he's from wicker Park. Huh? I might have made that up completely But I know he's like a city kid. He ain't no burbs guy. Really? Yeah. How about that?
Starting point is 00:31:12 So Yeah, fun times then I went and it's one of those comments when you watch when you go I got to be more like him. Yeah, which is never a good thought But that's where your brain goes. You're like he's doing so well So your brain immediately things act like that, right? That's not a good way to be you got act like you a hundred percent Yeah, but I mean it's everyone's influence. It's nice to watch and go. Why I want to I want to go where he's gone Sure, sure. Yeah, but man. Oh man unreal So then that was buffalo to New York then this weekend went to helium in Philly
Starting point is 00:31:45 Why I feel like you're there every three weeks, by the way, I'm there twice a year now. It's great I love that row. I put a word in for you. Well, thanks. I mean, I've been working for the guy for 20 years You think you'd come around well, he goes. I like Joe. That was what he said. Oh, I'd appreciate it. Yeah So boy, this is one of my top four comedy clubs in the country. I just love the city. I love how close it is I love the Amtrak. I love the club. I love the hotel. I love the neighborhood. It's in I love all of it Yeah, as you would say that city's got some stank on it now really does I don't know if you've had this and this is Kind of a treat, but it's also a blessing curse double-sided sword dildo
Starting point is 00:32:24 What do you call that a bittersweet? Okay, so that my opener this guy John McKeever Oh, I'm a key. Have you heard of him? Is he related to Patty McKeever the old booker at Caroline's she had a brother named John. Oh, really? But I don't think it's the same guy like 31 or something Well, that guy's probably in his 30, but he wasn't a comic later. Well, John McKeever used to work at Caroline's I don't know McKeever. All right, but this kid John McKeever. He also worked on that Delco proper show with Tommy Pope Yeah, yeah, he's like a writer on stuff, but this kid. He's a portly hairy little teddy bear But man, I'm in love. He's so good. Oh, boy. That's gonna go a different way
Starting point is 00:33:05 Most bitter sweet. Well, that's the thing you go. This guy's insane. He's blowing me off the stage He's so good. They love you know when a crowd just loves a guy. Yeah, you're watching when you're like, I love him, too I don't want to go on why would they want to see me after that, right? So he goes on and he's just his first line kills and then he's just so likeable and smooth and takes his time And they're up his ass the whole time and I'm up there shucking and jiving I'm making hay while the sunshine and he's just cool calm collected. Wow. Love it boy So then add to it. He's one of these mysterious cunts, you know where they go? He hasn't done comedy in 18 years Oh, wow pop back in I never see him anymore
Starting point is 00:33:46 He's his dad died in his arms when he was four and blah blah blah bottles it He bottles it's all bottle and you know you go hey good said he goes. Ah, what could you do? I don't know blow me and he walks away like you can't get through. He's got walls up What makes him even more interesting? There's a lot of mystery in comedy Stereo so my friend James Patterson's like that. I had a hot soup the writer now a different guy Comic that was an old joke of his they said hey boy your name is his first manager was like your name's too close to the writer He went why would I change it? They go? Yeah, we think that's a good idea He said how about James Joyce the manager was like I like it
Starting point is 00:34:21 That's great, but yeah, he's one of these guys move ten times. He lives there. He lives here. He's in Europe He's in Africa. He's in erotica and all of a sudden, you know his dad beat him and but every time he goes on He just kills and he's nervous. He's like I can't do comedy. I think I'm gonna bomb same then just blows the room apart He's one of the best comics out there, but yeah, he's mysterious. So you can't get a you can't catch him in a net Right, right. Yeah, no, it's true They're almost like the ninja in the movie were like what they need you to come out of the mountains and guy We need your help to kill the prime minister. He's like I haven't I'm against fighting now You know he's that guy. Have you noticed you don't hear about ninjas very often anymore. We're kids
Starting point is 00:35:00 It was ninja everything everything was ninja and then it was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Yes, but since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles there hasn't been a lot of ninja You never see any guys in all black with the stars. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I guess with the internet We don't need them. I mean, do we need them in the 80s? I don't think we needed them that we just talked about them American Ninja Yeah, ninja war. I have the smoothie maker the ninja. Oh, yeah American Ninja Warrior. Yeah, that's not a real ninja. I should make a ninja movie ninjas were fun They were barefoot. They did that that smoke bomb Yes, and they disappeared on you and they Batman they tumbled everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like the more you say ninja
Starting point is 00:35:41 Closer it sounds to the Edward. I think that's part of why it went away. Ninja, please. Yeah, Ninja Rig But yeah ninjas, I liked them. Let's get a ninja movie. We should make a ninja play it out It's all black there. They're just flipping around. You know, it's one of it's like Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris Farley Yes, you know, he would like he really fucked him up. He kind of he kind of showed you the light You know, he's like flipping around the room and they're like we can see you You know, right? Tumbles behind the couch like we know you're behind he's a bad ninja a good ninjas fucking Well, I think the thing with ninjas. They're not real. Are they not real? They must have been real at some point they were but this is back before you know TV radio and
Starting point is 00:36:25 Internet I see, you know like back then it would seem like maybe that guy did Disappear in a puff of smoke, but no he's actually behind the bush. I know what I'm saying We make a movie a period piece Yes, men a piece it's Metta world peace. It's like, you know 809 we have like one of the things the beginning. It's the year 1870 the ninjas are here That's when a ninja was really cooking. Yeah, there's cowboys and ninjas we mix Plus, I think Asians back then were a little spooky
Starting point is 00:36:59 He said little mystique. Yes, you know, they're shoes are off. He's drinking tea He's got a long mustache down to his asshole. He's got a ponytail with the side shaved and his eyes are slanted the whole thing Nobody's listening. Anyway, they spoke me out to this day. I gotta go down town I go what's going on in this well the smells and the hanging fish and the rats and the dead ducks Well, the rats the rats are the leaders of the ninjas if I'm not mistaken. All right splinter. Yeah Yeah, you know April and he'll she was something to look at. Yeah, I jerked off to her Several times love a yellow jumpsuit. Mm-hmm, but how about this so back to Philadelphia? All right. I had this one Thursday night hot set Friday early show hot set Friday late show
Starting point is 00:37:44 Bomb like same material just not they're not feeling it. I'm just pull I'm just slucking through the mud here. Come on, baby. Stick with me. Give me some energy folks. What happened? Ah, and The crowd I do a meet-and-greet after every show what you hate doing But I try to do it because it seems nice and there's one the crowd. They're not meet-and-greet Well, really don't want a glad hand. They go. Ah, we didn't care for yeah What say you're just standing there like a fucking idiot, but you go Ah, whatever this will be over in 12 minutes, but this one girl comes up. She goes. Yeah Glad you're pro equal rights and I go I am pro equal rights
Starting point is 00:38:20 She goes whatever and shakes my hand. I'll angry like a big shake. I don't know what it means Very strange. There's just she was like a hipster. He blue-haired twat, but it was like I At least if you're gonna zing me have something where I know what you're talking about I give you go. Hey, you're ugly or your voice sucks. See your dicks a little that I'm like Oh, well, she got me there, right, but Equal rights too bad. You're not into it like no, I'm into it Yeah, it's not like she's got her own problems and she's looking for something to be upset about it seems to me Yeah, but it's also fun when like a bunch of old gals come out and they're like
Starting point is 00:38:58 Like pinching my cheek and I'm like tell her yeah, yeah, what happened here, but that's not you know You don't want all the people to like I guess one person doesn't like you there. They're a mess. Yeah Yeah, she gets it's true these these social justice Cousins are seems like to be the angriest people. Yeah, they just they just Filter it into this guys of I'm a hero, but they're actually the worst people on earth And they're not actually trying to get any improvements. Yes, they're not really trying to improve anything They're just trying to get you upset. Yes, they're just they're prodding and praying and nagging. Yeah, and not actually helping Yeah, I'm up here trying to bring joy to people. I'm actually taking action and
Starting point is 00:39:36 Entertaining people right to give them a break from their thing and you're trying to upset me. You're trying to hurt me Yes, that's all you're doing. That's it. It's trying to hurt me, right? That's not making anything positive. You really wanted to change you could go boy I would like to have a discussion with you about some of your material Exactly, how do you feel about this and that we could have a discussion right? You just go hey, you're a piece of shit, right? And that's why them the Hate to get into all this, but I think that's why the The super leftist and I'm a liberal guy, but I think it's super leftist. It's not gonna work out because it's not working out
Starting point is 00:40:09 I mean look where it got us. Yeah, look where it got us clearly not working out But they still are still being annoying and cunt. Did you like what are you doing? It's over like let's fix it Poking the the the wombat. Yeah, no the president is the president I mean, I don't want to get into it because people will then write to me You're fucking piece of shit, but I mean look at who we got running the fucking thing show here. There you go It's it's embarrassing. It's legitimately Sincerely genuinely embarrassed. It's an embarrassment. Yep. So that's where it that's where it got us and people are they're still hanging on though That's what I'm saying. They can't catch on like they have no self-awareness. They just think I'll just keep doing this thing
Starting point is 00:40:50 Yeah, and they're devastating people's lives. Yes, really did not Do a whole lot of harm good people and like calling someone racist or sexist That's a wild accusation and it's a mean thing to tell you you're saying. I'm a horrible piece of shit Well, it was completely lost control of what so many of these words mean that words out out to lunch But any fucking jizz any who ha he I had a lady I was walking up at the village underground the other day the village underground at the comedy cellar can be a tough Room if you go on 4th or 5th. Yeah, not easy It can be a little roadie in there like that's date night all the way
Starting point is 00:41:25 Well, there's a lot of people it can get loud and the band is going already hosts and he does a lot of Wrapping and singing and so there's a lot of break from the comedy a lot of pumping up Yes, and they go wild so I mean I love already. I think he's a good host, but there's a lot of times It's just they're singing don't stop believe The whole crowd singing and then you're gonna be my wife. She's late But anyways, I was it going up there and listen to this was a bummer It was Saturday night Saturday night late show and I'm walking up and they're like oh, it's Joe Let and I hit this one we go. Oh my god. He's so nerdy
Starting point is 00:42:01 Well, I heard her saying that it was devastating. What is that? It threw my whole thing off. You're a human being You're not a fucking puppet show, and I'm not even nerdy. I got glasses. I'm gonna have glasses saying with glasses I'm watching hockey. I know hockey. I play I fucking I've been in a fight before I get laid. I have sex I don't like you know sci-fi. Oh god Shelby just took his ear, but my too loud Come on you nerd keep going nervous Wait, but you're not wearing a bow tie with a pocket protector and a bunch of books on a string I'm a man, baby. You're a man. It was hurtful. I mean it just hurt. There's always so nerdy. I'm like shut up You can't you're I think some of these idiots out there they go to a comedy show and they think we're all characters
Starting point is 00:42:42 There's the gay guy. There's the fat guy. There's the black guy. Here's the nerd. Yes. Well, she just said it to her friend That's the word so I just overheard her that stings So I was in my head the whole time then you just want to kill to be like I'll show you nerd You fucking son of a bitch and kill with some edge. Yeah, but then it just didn't didn't go that great Oh, no the nerd bomb. It was fine. Yeah, but I had a real nerd bomb. It was a bummer But I mean it wasn't a bomb. I did fine. It was okay, but it wasn't hot. Yeah. Yeah, you know hot one Yeah, that's the tougher one that room is fizzled. It's fizzled. Yeah, it's it goes late But boy I haven't fun. I've been I've been on the road
Starting point is 00:43:18 I've been running around the cellar a bunch and doing the fat black and the cellar and the underground and the stand I was at the stand the other day It's New York comedy club balls. I mean, what's this club called stand up in New York also been here a few times Yeah, yeah, the stand or no New York comedy a buddy's fill. Yes. So that's exciting It's very exciting so a lot of a lot of stuff happening in the New York comedy scene and we had a special visitor last night at the Comedy cellar you do tell all of trees second time around now third time I don't miss in this guy uncle Louie came over and they shut down the bar for them They were like the bars closed because we were back there because there's the thing Louie's in hiding
Starting point is 00:43:56 Nobody knows where Louie is the whole thing. So then he's back there and the comics table is right next to the bar Yes, so we're back there telling all these old jokes. You're like two cunts walk into an asshole, right and they say hey fuck you Like oh, you can't have people just listening to this right because they do do that that seems like we're being Narcissistic, but people will sit there and kind of eavesdropping a big fat ear leaning into our convo So it was nice. We were sitting there. We actually taught me and Tom Papa and Val We were all talking about Louie and they just happened to text. He's like, what are you doing? I'm at the cellar come over He popped over we had dinner. We all told some old jokes. We're doing a fun bit where we were telling
Starting point is 00:44:36 Like old street jokes, but instead of stopping at the punchline. You just keep talking as though It's like a real thing like an exam. I got an example like a boy a grasshopper walks into the bar And the bartender says hey, we have a drink named after you and the grasshopper says you have a drink named Steve And then the bartender says no, no, you know, I'd never mind what what can I get you? And then the grasshopper says the Bud Light. Ah, it was fun. We've kept doing those. It was really fun I like it 20 of those we're all laughing was wolf and me and Louie and Matt Ruby and do you get nervous doing one of those on the spot because it's got to be funny and you're you're on you're on You got the spotlight on you and you got what if it bombs? Well, I felt like I was in a good zone
Starting point is 00:45:16 I really was getting some good left Todd Barry was there and No, I mean if you bombs you bought I mean we're all comics and friends That one sucked and then everyone shits on you you shouldn't yourself and yeah I got to get over that because when I when I have a shitty one I kills me for like a week and a half and I'm in my shower scrubbing going out grasshopper you fucking loser Yeah, well, it's a fun and you try but we had a fun night the other night to the night after the after the patrice thing There was the post party. Yes at the stand and then Keith and Bobby were like this is too much over here And I had to get to the cellar anyway, so the three of us split an Uber that was fun
Starting point is 00:45:46 Oh nice We were really yucking it up in the uber and then we went over and it was like an old school Cellar hang already Fuqua came over the suit and everyone was like you look like this and that and something would bomb and some Would kill we're all pushing each other in the bushes. It was really I love it I love it. Yeah, the cellar's been been hot lately like there was a birthday party there. Che was out He brought a crab boil. Oh, I heard about that product was shrimp and crab and everybody was getting in there Bibs on the whole thing and then a Demetri Martin was there. I talked to him for like an hour. Yeah He's a cool guy. All right, my friends are going to see him. I think my friend. He's doing a Netflix special
Starting point is 00:46:19 He's like he's like you. He's like, I'm tired man. I'm tired. It's hard. I gotta do after this comes out I can do a new one. It's a never ends. It's a lot of work and My sang with Wolf last night. She's got a show coming out on that unbelievable keep an eye out folks And she's doing the fucking thing the the the the press Congress Library, yeah, whatever that thing is the what is it presidential debate? White House Correspondents dinner. She's doing the correspondence in April and her show comes out in May It's insane and get ready for that show folks. It's gonna be hot. It's gonna get some great writers It's gonna be fun. Oh, you know some of the writers. I got a couple names
Starting point is 00:46:59 After the Mike's cool off, baby, you can give me a taste. I'm farting So I'm pretty excited about that and go check that out for sure I got my Netflix half-hour coming up March 20th, and then with a wolf shows coming That's gonna be a big show big show big show. It's gonna change things up cuz she's a spicy gal She keeps it on us. She keeps it real and I think with a red haired lady They're gonna let a lot of it slide. Mmm. You know, I mean she'll get shit. Don't get me wrong Oh, yeah, I feel like a straight white guy was saying some of the jokes she pulls out I feel like it would get a little dicey. Yeah, well, she's gonna get dicey for sure too. We're both scared to death
Starting point is 00:47:35 We had a good talk about it last night, and it's scary It's it's funny because I was saying this right before Louie walked in I was like it feels very counter-intuitive To draw a lot of attention to yourself To go. Hey, here's my thing People check it out. Tell me what is my thoughts right and so it feels Dangerous and scared it's and creepy and weird and then as I'm saying it Louie's like, hey guys That was fun to that kind of good laugh we were seeing at the table and Michelle She's like, I'm afraid what people gonna say and everyone's terrified and I was like well
Starting point is 00:48:05 I think this is an understanding forgiving time. We're living in that kind of big laugh from everybody Which is fun. It's fun. I think we're getting to a place where it's a little more, you know But it was a it was a great hang and great to see Friends at San Maril winning an M or nominated for an Emmy. San Maril is nominated for an Emmy a show. I'm a part of I'm on the show It's crazy It's fucking unbelievable upper east side Jew Russian Harry Swarthi Scotch drinking joke slinging friend Emmy. Yes, it's pretty wild. So
Starting point is 00:48:38 It's unbelievable. I mean, it's like a New York local daytime. I mean, it's a piece of shit Emmy But still it's a weak Emmy but an Emmy's an Emmy. It's a bad Emmy. But what are you gonna do Emmy Blotnik? I was gonna say She's great by the way Emma Stone. Oh, I love Emma Stone. I am just really a trap Emma Stones one of the people It's not like a smoke show. Yeah, I love her got a good look great look and just a good actor and yeah Charming and she's in a bunch of movies. I love Birdman la la land the other one right and you never see Emma Stone Bummed she's always perky and just top of the anal. Yeah, she's hot and rich and successful That doesn't stop a lot of these douches. By the way, have you seen the trailer for Red Sparrow?
Starting point is 00:49:19 I don't care too. What is that a? No, it's Jennifer Lawrence that's about a Russian spy who gets you by seducing you. Oh Come on. No, it looks great in the trailer. You can't believe it. She's got her movies out You gotta watch this thing. That's all I watch I watch it on a loop. Did you hear her? Her speech speech. Well, she made a big comment She's like after this movie comes out. I'm quitting acting for years to become a political activist Oh, that's where you're like, come on. Just act your your hot dame. Yeah Good actress. There's a lot of activists happening right now too many act. How about this to six
Starting point is 00:49:55 Teenagers running for governor in Kansas. Have you seen that? Oh, no, evidently. There's never been a rule put in in Kansas about the The situation of what's the word I'm looking for? Notifications. I'm turning into a fucking idiot. Wait wait rules for what huh? Qualificate qualifications. There's no written Qualifications to be to run for governor in the state of Kansas. They never did it. Oh fun So there's six high school kids all running for governor in Kansas. Wow. That's hilarious. It's like three GOP There's an independent. There's a democrat and there's a libertarian and they're all right. They're like, I'm running here here Wow, I didn't even know what a democrat was when I was 16. I thought it was a slur. It's crazy
Starting point is 00:50:35 So, uh, good for them. I'll vote for the pimpley kid Which one? That's uh, it's pretty exciting. So good for them. Well, maybe I'll get laid a lot of stuff happening I want to talk about the stress factory real quick too. Oh, that was about a month ago But we had a lot of stuff going on so we even touched on it lay it on me Stress factory did it with old greg stone and what a guy. I mean just one of my favorite people Let me just say this about stone Once I was going to philly amtrak station
Starting point is 00:51:00 Boom, I see greg stone while waiting in line We hug and then I'm walking down the stairs to go to the train. I see shane torres Two comics in 10 minutes in one one place. No kidding. Three comics. Uh-huh your comic. I'll take it Uh, but anyways, we went down to stress factory three nights in a row We had those dry treasure these drives with own stone zone. In fact, we did a couple of Queefs you can hear them right now there and there some of them are pretty good. We did a big elton john debate It was really fun. We sank some got some buzz So check uh, check that out on the patreon three bucks a month, you fucks three dollars
Starting point is 00:51:36 36 bucks a year can't beat it. I'm believable. You can't beat it a lot of content get on it Then you want to have you want to know this stuff so you can talk to your chums about you don't be the guy out of the loop Live apps arie she fears on the michelle wolves on their stones on there a bunch a lot of a lot of hot comic People did you get veeter? I got a video we did a late night video was a video on that video stone arie wolf a lot of them and and all those live episodes so Check that out. But um, greg and i were down there one night the stress factory can be a tough room I tell you. Oh, that's a rowdy jersey room, baby. Yeah, it's not easy and uh, then vini's a real ball buster But there was one night this guy was just hammered hammered in like the second row at a little table
Starting point is 00:52:18 And then I was like worried about because all during vini's set and greg said he's just drunk and oh Wow And uh, then i'm on stage and in the middle of my act like I got like 10 minutes left in my act I look over and the guy is asleep with his head on the table. No hands just forehead table Yeah, and I was like that guy is out good go out and uh, then the show ends He lifts his head and just pukes all over the floor. Oh, this guy was pretty considerate considering Consider considering considering considering the situation He was sitting in he's in a blackout. He's in a blackout. He didn't talk to your set and he puked after yeah
Starting point is 00:52:57 I guess not bad, but and then the girl is with them and don't you this is the thing with women too I'm like you got to get out ladies. Yes If you're dating a guy who's asleep with his head on the table at a that's not normal drinking that guy is a drinking problem He's a mess. He's got an alcoholic drinking. He fell down the stairs earlier in the night Oh fun in the middle of the show. Wow. You tried to like go smoke a cigarette and he fell up the stairs, which is always Oh, I love an upfall and uh chuck, but it's like yeah, that's your man. You know Yeah, and they've been together. Vinny was like how long you've been together. She's like, ah three years You're like you got to get out of that relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe her dad was a drunk and the whole thing spirals
Starting point is 00:53:32 Stopped it. Maybe they're bottling but when I was in high school. I was just thinking about this the other day It's funny to say when I was in high school. I was that guy I was the fall down drunk pass out wet the bed blackout and it was like fun Right fun. But like she was like, ah, there we go. And he was like, I was I was the animal guy I got hammer. I get hammered. You know, well these guys this guy's like ball. I mean he's like in his 40s or whatever Well, that's weird and it's like you gotta try to you want someone that can care and think about this guy's throwing up But you're just like ah the next day. You're like, ah, that was weird Maybe in some sick twisted way. She feels useful because she's like helping him
Starting point is 00:54:04 Maybe well, maybe he's sweet as pie and he had one weird night, but just feels like that's true That's a rough rough behavior. That is tough. I gotta say speaking of drinking heavily Bert Kreischer was doing the truckadero. He was doing his netflix special in philly truckadero What's that mean? That's like the first of all, it's the oldest running burlesque club in the country. No kidding It's this cool ass theater gritty grimy old theater in chinatown with two balconies. It's tight as a drum It's all squeezed in and he did a netflix special there I think he took a lot of audience from me, but uh man
Starting point is 00:54:41 I went and visited him after he was like a high spirits hammered He had a philly cheesesteak wrapped in a piece of pizza in one hand Oh And a big glass of teetos in the other shirt off sweaty Family around him netflix people cameras everywhere I mean he was in hog heaven boy You could tell that's gonna be a great special shane tor is opened Wow, that's what he was doing down there. So we hung out and we chatted bert's the best coolest guy
Starting point is 00:55:07 That's gonna be a killer special. Check that out. What a sweetheart. Wow boy. I'm excited to check it out Yeah, it's gonna be a doozy that truck that truckadero. What a room What a great comedy stuff coming up the wolf show the half hours stand up Yes, the 20th I know what's called stand up the stand up season two one check that out michelle wolf in may check out the Correspondents dinner and dinner baby and get on that patreon and check out laughable if you don't check out the laughable app Get out there get involved. It's the number one rated app Comedy podcast app and it's really cool. You can search
Starting point is 00:55:42 I mean if you want to find somebody go ahead and search it on there and put a name it You don't have to sift through itunes eight million years and to uh to put it on your phone. Just go to series say Upload app or download laughable app Two seconds if you've already been using laughable tell your friends to download a two or even better Take their phone and tell siri to get it for them. Look at that folks You can help spread the word laughable is the best podcast app out there not just for comedy But for all podcast listening. I used it today. I love the laughable app Yeah, get on there and uh and the patreon for god's sake. We're trying to really make something
Starting point is 00:56:17 We got new shirts coming soon. Yeah. Oh, these are top. Not these are lunch, baby. They're they're cool design Remember, I don't know if you look back on our instagrams, but we did upstate new york Poughkeepsie and the guy designed our flyer. Diego everybody raved about these things the guy comes out to his show We shoot the shit. He's designing the t-shirts. We already sent him to louis. So he'll probably fuck it up Uh, yeah merge pump go to merge pump dot com slash twosies and get your shirts on there. That's exciting Hit the patreon. Yes. Check out netflix fucking march 20th until everybody you know folks I really I want to people to see this fucking thing. I think I don't want to jizz on your thunder, but I'm doing conan march 13 So that'll be fun. That's a hot dog. Yeah, that's a hot month. That's back to back and they're both tuesdays
Starting point is 00:57:04 Tuesday the 13th tuesday the 20th fucking get in there suck your own dick and Before you watch conan michelle wolf the aforementioned michelle wolf and I we're doing a show at the village underground to benefit the environment We're saving the environment, baby. Are you going with green room effect? No, we're calling it earth wind and funny Oh, that's better. That's Robinson came up with that. Did he really? Yeah, he's had a couple strokes That's no easy task for him to come up with anything first thing he's written in a while So march 13th mark is on conan michelle and I are at the village underground and then march 18th By the way, there's a lot of stuff folks write it down march is big get a pen march 18th We're doing that. We're back at the apartment show ps 109. You did it last time. Oh, that's a hot one folks
Starting point is 00:57:48 No arry this time arry's on the road. He's getting shit done, but we got some hot acts. Oh, yeah It's gonna be killer. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna have we're gonna have some good people march 18th ps 109 That's on the upper east side hit me up for details or twitter or whatever the fuck You don't want to want to miss that one march 20th my netflix thing comes out and then uh april 6th 5th 6th and 7th and arbor moon tower. We're both there come to moon tower miles around It's gonna be a hot fest the bonfire boys will be there the beddington guys are there And then to coma washington the week after that. I'm gassed. I'm gonna go like he's gassed. He's quaffin folks I'm an an arbor this weekend. Please come out. I've never been to this city never been in this club
Starting point is 00:58:26 So i'm excited about it amazing club. You're gonna shit. All right, then i'm in charlotte Comedy zone all weekend. Uh, that's gonna be a fun one. So come on out caroline Spokane, thank you for the correction and to coma comedy club. Thursday friday spokane friday saturday No saturday sunday to coma. So west coast that we'd love to see a Laughing skull atlanta. Let's fill that one up Comedy attic in bloomington after that funny bone in columbus my favorite funny bone Oh boy, uh, bananas comedy club and hasbrook heights never been there moon tower magubis and b ultimore
Starting point is 00:59:05 Acme comedy club never been there either very excited comedy works in denver and may And clusterfest in san francisco So we got a lot on the books gonna be a hell of a thing winnipeg later zany's later Laugh bosson who cares come on out mark no man comedy.com email us Send him some more nice shit menopausal bottle jar whatever you got Hit the twitter yell at chipotle. I'm going there right now. Thanks for the cards. God love you See us live buy a shirt or a mug laughable I

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