Tuesdays with Stories! - #262 Vag Hoof

Episode Date: September 11, 2018

Hot dog Tuesdays, it's another hot one as Joe has to take a roundabout route to get yelled at at the U.S. Open before doing a benefit show with some comedy heavyweights and Mark has literal ants in his pants during a show!. Check it out! Subscribe to our Patreon where we're crankin' out bonus episodes every week! You can listen on any podcast app! www.patreon.com/tuesdays We have have NEW t-shirts. Get em' here! www.merchpump.com/product-category/tuesdays/ Download the Laughable app today! laughable.com/download

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy my radio is spitting at me good golly miss jizz face holy hell we're here we're gay and we're fat we're in the lunch stuff studios in Greenwich Village how you doing there fat butt I'm doing all right I don't want to

get personal quick but did you did your girl leave you oh there was 50 pairs of shoes here two days ago check that out what I can't check anything is she in here now you got a new bureau we got a bureau we're on war yes they're quite taken by it I hate saying armoire so bureau is not bad I've always said bureau federal Bureau investigate this might be a farty pod by the way here comes the first one lay it on me wild I thought it's not a dryish oh I heard some squeaks we said Chipotle obviously folks yes Chipotle straight from my teeth right now to my teeth to what more in my teeth I got junk drawers over

here oh yeah I got all kinds of angles and crooks and cabinets right you got go you call that a nooks nooks and crannies and cranny you never really hear about a cranny you'll hear about a nook occasionally a solo nook we never hear about a solo cranny I think it's crans gender all right I liked it thank you well funny how quiet everything get like the Louie thing happened all the other stuff gets quiet Trump Trump is kids he's out trans is out it's just one thing it's like we do one thing at a time yeah well we got the whole country the whole internet is an ADD riddled cesspool yes it's a garbage fire and you can

only watch one thing burn I guess so anyways you got a new armoire bureau you know what bureau means in French no office really federal office of the investigation no kidding yeah so that's a I don't like calling the bureau because it feels weird really like hey there's an office with a bunch of clothes in it well but we're not French thank God for that yeah you're fucking although I do frogs all right that was a war joke they pulled out of the war which war to World War two ww deuce didn't pull out they got beat didn't they they gave up well they got beat they were defeated well they they got out of there I guess I think they

were occupied and defeated these fucking frogs occupy Wall Street well I tried I went down there a couple times yeah I didn't really get what's going on quite really I was trying to get laid I remember seeing some cops and wonderful comedians down there and be like oh this is this thing and then sometimes it was just like a hang I was people like I'm painting I do paintings and then other people were like how about the environment it was kind of like a conglomerate of non-conformists I guess yeah a lot of drumming a lot of drunk a lot of BO a lot of armpit hair a lot of beads I remember one remember the end of

it where the cops are just lining them all up and macing them yeah yeah it seems weird but I go but it's strange I mean I'm like I think they are breaking the law yeah they took over Zuccotti Park yes which doesn't even on wall eventually it was Wall Street and they moved to Zuccotti well they got better digs well whatever so anyways you got a bureau got no shoes I looked over I thought she walked out on you well with their shoes shoes are made for walking yeah that's what they're gonna do I pointed at him I see yeah so you know she had a whole rat's nest over here of all this lady gunk it was wild they were all they

were mixed in match to a sneaker with a pump and a heel with a flip-flop it looked like the Holocaust Museum just a big pile of old shoes it was too much and she was like I feel bad I got a I got a doily here a bra strap there and a tampon over here we got to do something when I was like aha and so we talked about the armoire and I had a I had a my desk over there move the desk here got rid of the lockers now I like the desk the only problem is I'm now sitting in front of a mirror and I can just see it's bad enough I have to hear myself but I can see myself and when I thought I could smell myself and I'm always touching

myself and that's another sense what's the other sense taste oh I taste you guys know I love to taste myself hey like taste his own jizz yeah make me but the problem I agree with the mirror because now I sit at the desk I'm doing work and I can only see my fucking douchey mug but we talked about this years ago and Phil Hanley always brings this up I like of writing in front of a mirror because it makes you forced to be like you piece of shit get back down there interesting you look up all of a sudden you're looking at yourself look at the phone so it forces you to work right this is different because we're on the

pot the pot is enjoyable yeah see my second leg crossed I'm pale my ball bag is hanging out it's a tough thigh looks like I sat in gum as they say the bat wing but anyway that's that's a big move in armoire big move armoire but it really tidied up the joint and freed up a lot of space doesn't feel a little more open in here much more open to the mirror doubles the size that's what they that's why I have one in my pants yeah and I missed the panties though every once in a while you'd be telling some story and I'd be looking over a piece of lace and a high heel and get a kind of a stiffy I could pull some out I used

an aclean live from the Bureau yes of anyways that's exciting the desk is good where'd you get the desk 1949 that's a mid-century modern desk founded on Craigslist 49 mid-century exactly mid-century you go well 50 would be exact I know but exactly exactly in the range of mid-century what's that word approximately which sounds good for it being not right approximately you know approximately like a about Queen Jane approximately huh that's a song by Robert Dillon Jewish yeah Zimmerman that's right he should have been a Skittles kid Skittles kid what Zimmerman oh that was George yeah

Jorge yep Jorge Zeeberman not white by the way thank you well we got some we got a Tuesdays with stories here folks now I like to pull a curtain back but you like to leave a curtain on you know curtain on I like meat curtains but go you go I'll pull them back and stick my nose right in there yes don't you just love being up close to the vagina oh I like to feel the warmth of it you know sometimes your face is so close you can feel that heat hitting your snob heat the dripping the whole thing here's the thing women don't really let you close to a vagina in a non-sexual manner now like you can't just get up so it's like you're

you're horny and you're doing a finger and a diddle and a lick a lick but I'm also just like looking at the crevices and how it all works it's up close it's like a it's like an exhibit you're like oh look at that thing what's this go to where's this attach it's very sophisticated the flaps the fold it looks like the bottom of a stingray or something yeah it's very high tech and it's a different a stink ray it's a different it's a different tone you can see with a tone of skin changes all of a sudden it's like boom it's like that pink that's right wonder why that it's a wound it's like a wound that figured out

how to live without being you know like hurtful to the body yeah well it's also a different kind of skin different texture I mean your pussy lip and your shin is not the same business god I hope they don't want to hook in the in the badge badge yeah so it's it's very peculiar which is a word I always struggle to say peculiar peculiar it's like nuclear oh nuclear I got down I love that one nuclear yes it's the wrong way I think that's the right way what do you mean I think nuclear is right what do you what's the difference nuclear so it's nuclear yes nuclear nuclear I think those are the same thing really that's that's

potato potato although no one ever says potato I've heard some pretentious dicks maybe in England or something that's the potatoes but anyways I love a big poon and I like to pull back the curtain here's the thing folks I realize schedule wise I'm going up to Boston for Pearl jail which is now past tense if you're listening to this so we were we're all wacky on the road so we had to record after recording so this is gonna be this coming a month from now whoo this fucking thing so we don't have a ton of stuff to talk about here and there goes the curtain that curtains rip back but I got a couple things all right I

got a couple as well all right so we're gonna have to we're gonna have to make do we'll do but right in calling if you have something you want us to discuss please but I'll tell you I'm fresh hot off a US open last night I mean when I say hot I mean it was hot oh yeah it's a scorcher out here in the big Apple heat wave folks climate change get used to 150 degrees that's gonna be the norm by it by mid-century you got that right 2049 mcdonald what's that mean norm oh the new normal I say I forgot I said norm I had a climate change bit I went to the US open last night which as you know I

go every year be fun to put together a like of all these events that we go to annually yes put together the Tuesdays with stories we can have a suitable episode we have a Patriots Day episode we could have a US open episode we could have a fucking whatever like a really like a clip show a clip show a compilation of every time I've talked about the marathon or the US open or Pearl Jam we're coming on your back yes oh eating come that would be a double disc yeah it'd be too long double dicks double dip I think if I was a woman I want to dicks I'm sorry oh in you not in me but at this to play with no it's

just more work yeah but I like the word the work is good I mean it's work you got a dick in your pussy and you got one in your mouth you spin in plates it's too much why wouldn't you want to enjoy it's like 69ing while getting fucked I would love that are you kidding look I've had a threesome in my day tell me about it and male male female or male male male male male man wait a minute female male male I'm alone I don't know who I am yeah so two women two women okay and it's it's fun and the whole time you're going I can't believe this happens like the movies I've watched this fucking my

whole life and now it's happening but it's a lot yeah well that's different I'm talking the female with two men I you got a blowing a guy is a difficult task as is I believe yeah I've done it it's not as hard as you think but he was I for that day but the receiving the thing if you're in a doggy style blowing you can just focus on the blow while you're getting pounded back there you want to focus on the pound town what about a double hand job a little again it's like two shake weights that you're working yeah I don't think women want to do a lot of the beach and the handies anyway they're doing that for us to be

nice I'm not saying women want to I'm saying me as a woman okay because I'm a guy I'd love to have two women at the same time that would be exciting you've never had a three no no three interesting I just missed a three ah you had a two a ton of twos yeah Jim twos great great comedian makes him like here um what did I start this Derek Walsh is calling oh good much do a patreon with him sometime yeah he's cool buddy guy what did I fucking start all the US open yes a back at the US open went out there last night a night session which is fun they call it prime time under the lights and for the second time this year I got

to see Rafael no dot Nadal and Serena Williams two of the best players of all time is at the top man top woman well they dollars currently the top man Serena isn't she was had a she spit a kid out so she's dropped quite a bit with a white man is that true I believe or oh yeah he kind of looks dirty one of them's got a whitey on the hook I don't know the difference between Serena and Jupiter what's her name Venus Venus yes and as we're recording now in real time they're playing each other tomorrow night but this will be over I like that yeah they've played this is the 30th time they've met whoa yeah wow what are they doing how do

they aren't they sisters shouldn't they be they should be done meeting well they play together sometimes well they are meeting in competitively head-to-head puss-to-puss now who who does the dad go for on that one do they have a crazy dad like tiger there's a new commercial right now I tweeted it today it's the best commercial I've ever seen the inner inner webbed footage of Serena as a kid with her dad being like okay try the server that cuts to the US open he's like just like you're at the US open and then it like cuts to her like as a kid so you gotta watch it I'll show it to you wow it's like unbelievable it's moving I

tweeted it I'm like I'm obsessed I've watched it 50 times I sent it to everybody I feel like Serena I hear more about than Mars she's much more successful than old Pluto so she's better way better okay bigger better younger the whole thing oh wow got it what yeah man that whitey you got a hand is that nerdy I think he's a blonde Caucasian honky-cracker yeah he's a nerdy guy but I'm sure you love me that's the kind of woman you talk about my eating come and sit on my face I mean that's the kind of woman oh yeah I'd really like to have her like a picture of grabbing by the ankles and do like a

helicopter and yes whipping me off the wall and I slide down and eat my jizz she'll put a racket handle up your anal oh man I would like that big Wilson yeah serve me it's balding I'll serve her back end but yeah she's a she's a full-figured gal and she's got some meat on her I feel like she could just throw you yeah she's something else and then just charming and sweet she's always funny in the postgame she does that little twirl but she can really dominate when she slides out does the split the whole thing yeah it's great that was exciting the problem is when you see the early rounds you see these exciting

players yeah it's not close the later rounds they get more expensive they're more exciting I end up watching them on TV but you go you know I'm gonna go see Nadal but he's playing fucking my uncle Dale and it's over in 45 minutes he just annihilates and then Serena forget about it she won like 6162 it's crazy I think I got a day pass I didn't know you had to pay for the individual game that's how they get you well you get a pass but I mean the night nighttime is only a few matches because during the day early rounds it's all happening there's 50 matches every it's like a it's like a festival you run from one court to the

other and you can watch people real up close it's very exciting all night time it quits down they got down to one match or so got it but it was exciting it was fine I went by myself and I realized I think I like just going to sports by myself sometimes I want to focus I like to enjoy it sometimes you go with someone that doesn't know you got to explain the game all the time someone's drunk and they're talking during the serve and everyone's shushing you and you're like I'm sorry he's an idiot right what about baseball I feel like baseball you can really yuck it up baseball is more of a conversational

sport exactly tennis they're shushing you it was like being in a comedy show the judge kept being like people please stop talking like to keep your voices down it's weird to be a sporting event when you hear keep your voices down like yeah times right and golf's the same as a lot of shh yes you got a shush he's up to the putt he sinks it yeah how do you feel about Norm tweeting out the play-by-play I think it's just him being a kook I think it's pretty hilarious I don't really read them I don't know anything about golf but I you know obviously I love Norm but yeah I think it's just him being like I'm this is who I am I'm an

old man fuck it he's kooky he's a kook he's a he's a classic I do what I want kook I'll tell you it's hurt his career Canadian kook I'll tell you I was going out there and I hate to keep bitching about travel but this MTA system I think I might vote for the Cynthia Nixon broad is that right yeah because I don't know if she's gonna fix I haven't listened to any debate so whatever but we need some change when it comes to the MTA is she talk but she likes weed I know she likes weed now okay that's all I know and she's gay yeah well gays nice I mean I don't I don't really carry the way when it comes to a politician I don't care

either but she played a straight woman on television isn't that the rules oh everybody goes oh wait he's not trans give this part to a trans person well she's not gay she's playing a gay well back then she's playing a straight back then I don't think it mattered as much Neil Patrick Harris has always played straight that's right but I'm just saying you don't hear the bat I don't carry the way but you never hear the backlash on the gay side hmm well I think there's more backlash than just not working some people are just happy when they're working I think I guess I don't know what's what anymore that's why the

argument is so silly because it's inconsistent yeah I can't keep track of all this stuff anymore it's all making me crazy the internet and the business I got people emailing me and writing about me and people posting about us everybody's angry it's all kooka dukes and I had a tweet last night or slash a couple weeks ago now if you're listening where I was like these people they just like who who disagrees with me I want to make sure I never talked to them again I mean it's like a classic thing now it's gonna be the fucking desecration of our civilization people like I don't want to talk to anyone that disagrees with me

like wasn't that the very essence of debate and civilization and yes we'll never get anywhere if we just shut everything down you just agree get out of my face like that means we have to we can't have a church and a not church I can't be atheist because you believe in God it's so stupid it's it's childlike it's against the foundation of our founding fathers yeah who are all white man I know I'm sorry oh my wigs well where were the Asians why didn't they come here I don't think they were in Asia I guess we were in England I don't know what I'm just saying we somebody had to come here yeah somebody's to come my

back you got that right but so I'm going out I want to keep shooting the MTA but I go out there and I had a good day yesterday I went into the city I met up with Dan Hirsch on our pal who still listens that get Danny Hirsch love a dancing what a good guy great guy great had a Jew hair on that guy he's got a shell of curls it's a real brillo yeah yes and surprisingly ripped too is that right oh yeah he's got big shoulders and jupex the whole thing boy you get out of comedy you start looking good no he looked good in comedy too I think he's one of these guys he's uncomfortable in life so he just does push-ups in his

room all day he's like he's like Max Katie he's got he's got the scales adjusted on his asshole the problem child just start dying laughing I met it yeah huge cigar the size of the dick I want my ass but he's great guy good meet-up and then I was gonna have him show me how to do this web stuff I was like you gotta show me how to do videos so I can promote and then he showed me for like 20 minutes I'm like what if I just paid you to do it he's like that seems easier I was like let's go Chipotle there you go is there a better feeling when you're having a meeting like this is stupid what are we doing no

better feeling but now huh if I can debate you and disagree and still have a conversation sure I'll still love you I'll kiss you on the dick all right I was sitting here not but two days ago and I'm emailing Shelby I'm emailing my video guy I'm like hey can you do this can you that and they're both like I'm swamped you're you're annoying you learn to do something for yourself you piece of garbage I hate you you should stop doing comedy and kill yourself I was like alright I got it so I said you know what maybe I'm sitting here I have the whole day free I should have been writing but fuck it I learned how to do it I

love watching tutorial I sat there I fucked it up 12 times I couldn't find a certain you know the tutorial they make it look so easy then you go try to do it yourself you where's that one button how do we find that but I can't find the button I've talked about this before everyone's like you can learn this on YouTube you can learn how to eat pussy and play guitar and smoke a banjo but same time and then I'm watching it and I go to take this and I'm a slow learner I'm a fucking retard for lack of a better word I don't know how to do it they're like take things scroll the settings and then they they're operating from a the

idea that you know how to do I guess so yeah like her show it's like double finger click I'm like what the fuck is I never even heard of that he's like do a double finger that's how you get a squirter yeah well he didn't squirt he cried but he kept telling me how to do things I didn't know what the fuck I don't even know he's talking about yeah well either way this took me don't get me wrong this took me 11 tries of failing and going I quit and I just jerk off because I know how to do yes there's no surprises there except for that weird wart but some I'm I'm looking at YouTube and I just I got two windows open I got

the week the YouTube guy talking to me and I got my own YouTube open where I'm learning it I'm just there's no surprises foolproof and I learned it and I'm halfway through and I'm pretty excited about it that's cool it is teach a man to fish and whatever but sometimes the stuff I'm like I should learn this I mean I learned how to upkeep my website and update that oh yeah that's good well I knew that I learned that when he from the get go because my webcam was like that's gonna be thousands of dollars you gotta figure this out on your own I'm gonna learn that myself so I do that but some of it you're like I should be

spending time writing and not fucking clicking and dragging and editing I know but we say that and then we go I'm gonna go wipe my ass for three days well sometimes you're gonna have fun too I mean someone can do it for you it's great you know I mean eventually you get to a point where you're paying somebody do this anyways yeah good point I don't know I don't know nothing about anything but it's good to get your fat ass into the mix a little bit and and failed and learn it gets your brain do a new shit I think that's good like when I went to China my phone's on the fritz you got a you got to get you're in the airport you go that

signs a bunch of characters that this is all out of whack and he's got squinty eyes and then you got to figure it out yeah you got to get on your heels and do some some thinking yes well that that's something that might also be different than figuring out how to make a video on the internet I'm learning mandolin I'm learning how to you know rub a back and suck a dick there's different things at different times sometimes you're not interested in I'm like I don't want to I don't want to fucking edit a thing I tried I did try but then I was like I don't know what any of this means and it's expensive and he was

getting frustrated I'm getting frustrated anyways the point is we had a great talk yeah great times good oldies I just think it's good for every downing because we're losing this as a species like everything's like just easy and a click of a button and a phone call away and a text away and Amazon's got a drone up my ass so all that but I think it's good to just go I gotta figure this out yes especially because I'm scared of the unknown not only am I scared of the unknown I just go ah blow me fuck it you do it yeah and so it's good to every now and then rub a few sticks together and try to get a fire going for sure

turn it on the bbq propane well however you get there you're getting there and but it's not something I want to do I just knocked my own glasses off yeah you did oh boy but anyways the MTA is what I tried to talk about it's like a fucking Gullman bit we really went off the rails there we digressed digressed I gotta talk about Gullman I'll get to my show in a moment but anyways I'm going I have a nice day met with her Sean all the bullshit bought a computer sucked my own dick then it's time to go to the open I'm like yeah I'll go leisurely I'll just head out to the open I take the end train to the 7 train you go up there and it looks like the

fucking Tokyo fucking drift no not drift what do you call it the prime time when everyone's coming home for rush hour rush hour yes good movie I disagree I go up there it's Pat people are eight people deep they go folks we got signal problems signal problems your mother's god hate a signal problem it's like I said the train is never running it's just fucking horseshit so immediately I'm like the train pulls up and it's rush hour and the open so it's packed the platforms packed the train is packed literally not one person could get on the train wow so it's like you have five thousand people waiting none of them

could get on I post the picture on Instagram it's like Tokyo they squeeze them in like sardines they got a guy with white gloves the fucking crams them in with a stick yep chopstick so I go down there I go downstairs I order a lift my lift shows up and three women three fucking ladies jump in my lift I'm looking at the license plate the guy and everything we just jump in they're like woo US open here we come and they're drunk you know ladies kind of attractive no wait are they knowing this is not their lift do they think it's their lift I think they thought it was there so I stand there and luckily there's a bit of

traffic and I was like waving at the driver young African-American fellow and I'm pointing at my phone and his life I'm like this is me and then you can't hear him you just see him like lean over and like point at me and like his mouth is moving and then the girl looks at me like what and then they all get out it's like uh it's like Seinfeld Kramer in a lane and getting the limo oh they all come like piling out they're like oh we're idiots and then they got into another car and then they got out of that they're like this is not either like they're just jumping into random cars pink signs in the window the

entitlement oh everything is mine everything is mine this must be for me yeah they're cool I think they were drunk so then I get in I'm like sorry to replace a bunch of women he's like he did that yeah and I was like well I'll be quieter I promise and then it was a quiet ride out to the you know flushing and we get out there and then we start chatting as we're entering the facility I'm he's like oh my god he's like this traffic and we start chatting about um what he gentrification and all this stuff and he's probably a New Yorker right he's a New Yorker he's from Queens he grew up in Jamaica when we started

talking about you know how expensive everything is and how the MTA sucks and how corrupted it is and all this stuff great combo and he's like you should just jump out here because like he's like otherwise you have to go all the way around so I get out and there's a cop who's like get back in the car get back in the car here we go and I was like Jesus and that but right in front of us there's a car unloading huh and I was like well how come they got to get out of the car he's like man I don't even know and I was like boy I don't want to start any shit here but kind of makes me question I'd like to know the race of

the guy driving that car and the guy was like oh my brother you my brother he's like I wouldn't go there but if you're gonna go there my brother I think the same thing I had a nice little bond I hear you got the the Rastafari driver and that's a good time but well he's regular black I know but he's from Jamaica Queen so yeah I see but if he what is the difference between the driver's color I don't get why they I don't know but the cop was sitting right there a whole family get out of the car so maybe he's like I'll let this white guy let his people up but not the black guy I mean I'm just interesting I'm just

spitballing here and I wanted to bond of course but some reason good way to bond some reason fucking the gaffigans get out of their car but I couldn't get out of my car and he really gave me the business and gave him the business he's like you don't drop off here this isn't the drop off and I was like well how come these people get out of their car interesting hot pockets so I mean you know certainly this racism it is out there yeah and that's funny I don't know what else to think I guess and I guess that's where his brain went as well I just get worried about the jumping straight to racism with everybody because

it's not always racism and so I panic when people jump to it well like I said we're just having a conversation in the car I didn't post on Facebook here's officer McCaffrey is a fucking douchebag racist let's get his badge and fuck his mother and his wife totally I'm just in a car having a conversation and that's my thought I'm like it does make me wonder it's interesting I hit another old wondering I just don't want the absolutes I'm not absolute and there's no repercussions for the guy we're just having a conversation but certainly was

interesting yeah that right in plain sight this guy lets his people out of course we don't know I mean maybe that guy was black and had a headdress and whatever the fuck sure sure I don't know what that meant a turban turban yeah or maybe he's a native american who knows what he is I saw a black guy I uh I got home at about 11 p.m from a gig last night and I just like to walk around I love the village so much that I'll just walk around it for like 20 minutes love it takes a village yes village people so I'm walking around and I just love it the brown stones the

cobblestone streets the whole thing the trees the lights and I get to Greenwich Ave and there's a black guy with his hood up like the hood open of his car he's leaning on his car he's got like a real pos statement Zimmerman again and uh hoodie and he's leaning on the car hood up and he's got jumper cables on the on the battery and then the cable is just dragged out and like hanging in like on his side view mirror meaning like I need a jump will someone jump me I'm I'm a I'm a I've been jumped by a black guy

oh yeah I've been jumped by a few but uh he's got like hat in hand I need a jump it's fucking midnight or 12 11 30 throw me a bone I'm I'm I'm put it all out there I'm vulnerable and I was like I saw cars is whizzing by and I remember thinking if this he was a big scary large afro-american tattooed the whole thing and I was like I wonder if this was a white chap if he would have been jumped by now interesting you know what I'm saying you never know you got a white school it's good to ask these questions and wonder these things yeah that's

and I remember thinking if I had a car I'd jump the hell out of this guy jump them up why not I love a jump I'd like to put those cables on my nipples ooh yeah that might that might turn you black yeah oh my charia see my bones yeah because me and Andy Klein and DC were out so in Baltimore we're outside the comedy club and this black guy walked up and he's like hey do you guys mind jumping me we were happy to jump them good jump well I'll tell you I we think we talked about this before on other formats but years ago me and Nate Bargassi and Lewis J Gomez were talking and Lewis

was talking about how he can't get a cab and we're like oh shut up you don't know what you're talking about you're all full of shit and then he's like go over there and we like hit around the corner and Lewis tried to hail a cab and they were just whizzing right by him wow Nate came out hailed that thing and they crashed into each other wow little sociological experiment I love it he's like they were not picking up well there you go folks you heard it here anal but my thing is cabbie rarely white guy very rarely in this city in this city yeah everywhere else let's factor that in as well you know everybody goes oh the

racism and white people it's like well yeah yeah sure that exists but this guy's got a fucking dot on his forehead so let's yell at him as well yes in fact I don't see that many Indian cab drivers either what do you see middle eastern oh well it's a tough uh I think it's almost exclusively well maybe there's some indie that's quite a few indians also how do you know the difference so these are just uh brown men with an accent oh you can tell the difference by the name and I mean indian people I don't think we're uh the turban no that's true but I'm not sure the names yeah well I look at the names I see the back of a guy's head and that's about it

yeah and then the different accents and such all right well I don't see color I don't know if we're supposed to talk about this probably not but I'll tell you speaking of public trans gender you gotta get if you're in New York and you don't know what you want to do for money become a Lyft uber driver you're gonna clean up that l trains going down you can't get a ride to the fucking flushing the trains are screwed you gotta go uber you're gonna make it you're gonna clean up yeah wacky train the trains just make me crazy and then I'm already swiped in so it's free essentially I have an unlimited card I've swiped in and now I get a Lyft 38 but I just lost 40 bucks the mta I'm like you should owe me that because it's rush

hour we sat in traffic and it's a peak event whatever the they gouge you yes and evidently this guy was telling me that if you get a cab or Lyft the mta gets a cut there's like a piece there's an attack to the mta what yeah dude there are fucking corrupt as corrupt can be and they're all getting richer they keep jack of the prices this is why I swipe people in I'm like I swiped everyone in I'm like get in there go ahead I swipe in I swipe your ass we should be jumping the turn style I want to fucking take hostages and throw eggs and paintballs at people that's prototype this is out of control yeah we gotta suck our own dicks and spit the results in the face of the driver sure but again I don't know if it's the driver it's not well that's the fat cats that's

the thing we talked about a few weeks ago with the airlines is there's no accountability the guy the thing is you're rude you're yelling at me he's like I want to go home to make 15 bucks an hour you're like you're right good point okay but I think they they keep the higher ups they're all corrupt and rich and fucking douchebag they've never taken a subway since the sandwich shop that's about all they're doing yeah Jared Bogle um kids well let me let me talk about my uh benefit show play I hear rave reviews mostly I mean there's a few few Tuesdays there one guy that thought was Latino he was on the floor laughing I really he's probably Middle Easter I don't know what the hell he was he looked tan he'd like a pinstripe pencil pin beard what are the chin strap

chin strap uh mistake with the chin strap yeah I don't know what was going on I think he doesn't know that he's Latino you know what I mean yeah it must be nice you meet those people that you're like they're like I'm not Jewish you're like what oh all the time yeah you are I've got that about me feel like you're definitely Jewish it's in your family I'm like I'm telling you I hate the Jews well anyways yeah we went uh village underground uh earth wind and funny which was named by Keith Robinson we still haven't done on the show which is fun to do it's a fun gang he came up with the he's obsessed with earth wind and fire he came up with the name he loves the band we're just never gonna have him as I always say that's the last thing and first thing he's written in a while

it's uh real funny yeah he's a funny guy I mean you have him on I don't know if it's uh that's his audience to be honest the the climate change crew no I mean this this audience they were a comedy audience I mean so we do the show and we gave the money to direct relief I did some research and they were they had the charity navigator these people because all the corruption like similarly MTA these charities they're all like Susan Coleman got exposed and uh wounded warriors I think had some problems oh where they they take money and they everyone gets rich at the top of the CEOs of these organizations and then you give out people's emails they sell people's email addresses and shit so these charities sometimes are quite shady so you gotta really

investigate the interest but direct relief has all the highest ratings and they're very transparent and transphobic the whole thing yes so um we gave decided to give the money to direct relief and they have no uh political affiliation they they help out all these people blah blah blah check out direct relief if you're looking to donate some money we'll do um so we do the show for them this is the second time I've done it Michelle and I co-host and she's been real busy and swamped and she's a big star so I kind of booked the show I got Soder Jay Ocuson Gary Gullman Marina Franklin smart you got your diversity you got great comics you got killer acts killer acts so we go up packed house sold out we sold about 100 tickets just

from plugging it on here and the website how do you like that which was something and then she she'd cleaned up the rest she threw out an instagram story and boom it was over sold out packed show we had a good mix of tuesdays and bonfires and wolfers wolf rooze wolf of wall streets whatever your column blitzers yes I like that I'll take it like that the nazis were blitzers too that's blitz creek mmm I hate creed one of the worst bands of all time yeah nickleback too yeah they suck one of all my money back yeah I'll take a dime so we do the show tuesday night and you know the seller the seller in the underground you're outside people are just lingering outside is the the guy golfing with milk cartons and the crazy homeless person mcdonald's

is always a buzz and there's fat black pussycat is there in the underground and then there's a big line of people they recognize you like that's list that's him there he is you feel cool you feel hey how you doing I love it I don't want to talk to you but I love that you know me I go downstairs donnelly's down there bullshit with donnelly and the crowd's just pouring in Liz is there she's excited wolf comes down soders there gullman's there whoo what a show good group marina comes down she's like thanks for talking about the cone and blah blah blah great cone and we'd already plugged it yes so we go up wolf and I go up together we got nothing planned there's something fun it's similar to the podcast you go up there you got zero we're walking I'm like I don't know what the

hell was gonna happen she's like oh we'll figure it out I love you that's exhilarating it's so fun like we both you feel like fighters because it's so packed you're walking up we both hit record and put our phones in our back pocket at the same time we look like cowboys oh fun it's like a revolver yeah it was pretty exciting so we go up there great album so we go up there and then we just kind of riff we open mic it and we're doing our new bits and punching each other up plugging each other's ass all your bump your your running bits on each other yeah she's like what do you think about that something like that's funny I'm like what do you think about that and some of my shit kind of ate I ate it quite a few times throughout the show but it was kind of funny to me it's funny

to eat it when you're with somebody because you're like oh whatever they want to see that that said it makes you vulnerable and endearing yes love to endear indeed your endiering species ah you're on a you're really on a run there a bomb just now oh boy well the people like it they like a bomb yeah I'm with you Middle Eastern um no not at the Puerto Ricans um everyone smile you get an agent I don't know what accent that was but you get an asian driver every once in a while yeah every now I had an asian lady the day and I was like oh this will be interesting yeah this could go either way yikes either way bad or worse yeah what either way uh anyways so we go up there we have a good time marina goes up and right away this crowd is hot marina kills oh she

took the bullet oh she took the ball she had to get out of there kill I mean she murdered she's funny man marina's a beast oh my god real real comic just great jokes and really working it's so funny and she comes off stage we're like we'll bring soda right up of course we fuck around like you can't go up there with someone and bring someone right up now everything you say you're like what was that you said this exactly soda goes up soda rips it I mean he rips it and then some woman yelling out someone was like talk about what michelle and I were up there she's like talk about trump and michelle kind of snapped she's like shut up she's like are you not getting enough trump material she's like shut the fuck up you suck and that was hilarious the

crowd loved it those twats you yell because you start yelling at them and they go no I hate you don't you realize that you're hated she was yelling the whole show at one point during so she's like you don't want kids and he's like not with you and that got a big applause he's like shut up stop it stop it people he killed it was one of those shows were like you host you come back you're like that was fun we're eating wings but we got the whole what do you call it assortment we had wings calamari spread all we spread baby spread my cheeks soda kills I go upstairs I grab gullman I'm like you're up baby I put up gullman he's like the best he's the best writer out there he's been the best for so long I mean he's at the highest level of comedy for 20 years

just murdering yes and then big j closes out and big j is like a master a masterful performance he's a maestro one of the best things I've ever seen he's just sitting there doing crowd work going into bits back to crowd work everybody's howling I mean you think they're like you know some of the wolf people might be like these crazy left wing whatever's but they're not they're just comedy fans or maybe they're whatever but big j just one of them over he's doing like the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life and don't you love that feeling when someone's on stage killing and you're in the back with comics you're all making eye contact laughing it's being soda and wolf we're like shoving each other elbowing each other yes you're connecting magical show

fucking killer I was leaving there I bumped into gnome gnome's like I gotta talk because it was during this whole louis thing gnome's really taking some heat oh yeah he's taking on the chin poor guy he's a smart beautiful man a great guy so thoughtful big supporter of the amendments and all that business and the arts and the arts and just a great charitable thoughtful good man and so we chatted for a while and while it was kind of nice because he's like I wanted to chat so we were sitting there chatting and the whole audience was leaving like every 10 seconds he gets interrupted by someone being like that was an amazing show unbelievable huge fan like you gotta do an hour here it was kind of nice because the owner's sitting there yes um so that was enjoyable

then a lady with gigantic bosoms was like I want to give you a hug and I was like okay you think she knows like I want to give you a little treat here I think she was giving me a treat sometimes I think I get treated like a child because I have a I got crooked teeth and I'm lanky my head's too big and I have a forehead holding a lollipop and a hat yeah the whole situation so sometimes I'm like I think they're like what a sweet little virgin loser who wants to eat his come you stick that up a little in your act you go I'm the nerdy guy I don't do I do a bit about how I'm not a nerd well not about having sex the whole time nerd's the wrong word but you know you do the whole like you guys mad at me I'm insecure I hate myself I'm gay yeah well I mean

that's how I feel but I don't think I do a nerd thing I have no nerd word there's no sci-fi I'm talking about sex I feel like I'm smarter than everyone in my act I'm kind of like this guy's an idiot that guy was right that was stupid nerd's no good but yeah insecure might be the word I'm certainly insecure but I think it's based on my look though I think if I did the exact same act in the exact same style like Chris D doesn't have anyone going oh that's true I'm going to give you a hug baby yeah they're just like oh he's great I want to fuck that guy he's a beefcake and he's up there all kinds of reeling he's got all kinds of insecurities anxiety he's a mess he's got a big head he's sex his body fits his big head though yeah he's just a handsome guy

who looks pretty ripped nice piece too he said to me several times decent piece on the guy hell of a piece but anyways great show we're going to do another one so keep an ear out because these shows are a killer yes earth wind and funny three what was your booking strategy there strategy thank you well I thought you know you got the woman you got wolf is a woman and you got a black lady another one with that well wolf is very particular of course I mean we are too we're comedy cunts of course those and yeah so you know you gotta make sure we both approve right and of course she loves Soder right and then Soder was like you should come on bonfire and talk about it I was like well let's get Jay too then if we're gonna come we ended up

not going on bonfire but let's get Jay also so I was like Michelle are you cool with Jay she's like I love Jay I was like great done done and then last time we tried to get Marina we love Marina and she's a killer so we got Marina and then Gullman's like my go to anytime he's available you gotta get him he's a fine scotch of comedy so top notch that was it we're all buddies I like all of them they all work at the cellar and they were all well and they're all thoughtful charitable people ah that's good that's nice too yeah you know who's a killer act that no one really talks but I feel like it's Jessica Kirsten oh my god yeah one of the all-time killer one of the all-time killer biggest closer in the biz I had to follow the other night it was it was deaf she's so good and she

she's so captivating and like the room is just obsessed with her and then when she gets off they get off with her and then you go up and they're like who are you we don't care about you yeah I had she's been killer for a long time ever coming down here and doing like bringer shows and like oh too and like I had to follow her and she just fucking like blew the room apart and I was 19 and gay I was like whoo whoo I just ate it and I almost quit can I give you a hug uh yeah I didn't get any hugs that night uh no hug life all right throw that throw something I feel like I've been driving the narration I wanted to say this you were talking about that that coups who was yelling out like a twat uh-huh I had a guy or gal in in Hartford who kept talking at full volume during

the show not heckling just going she's probably like four rows deep but she's doing the talking where just like a nap going around your head just buzzing where you go ah you're swatting but you're trying to keep it cool it's like I was trying to hit on a girl and there was a wasp on that queen coal yes and uh so eventually I I go hey hey hey I hope I didn't talk about this already I see that there's a kid on the wall like a worker guy he's just standing on the wall he's like the cedar and I go hey buddy you're on the clock and he's like whoa he's like a cute Asian teenager he's just like a summer gig for him I guess and I go hey what are you doing tell her to shut up I lost it and I'm I feel bad because I'm yelling at him but I'm like make yourself useful buddy

like get in there no I've had that he was been like he was flabbergasted I've had that happen to comedy clubs and sometimes it's clubs I'm not gonna name names but like sometimes they're chains where they don't really have a lot of love for the art they're not they're just kind of a restaurant yes and so it's like they don't tell the door men to be like hey make sure you're on top of this right where you're like once someone's yelling out or talking is like go tell them to stop talking yeah and I get it's not a priority you're right the chicken wings are the priority like the fucking uh what do you call pina coladas are the priority but it's like the guy was 10 feet away from her if I I'm way deep on stage with speakers up my ass this guy is two inches away he must be

hearing everything perfectly that's the thing it's not just about us getting distracted the people around them want to watch the show they paid sorry I touched your leg they paid they're listening yes you paid or played so I I fell back because I I I leapfrog the the chatty whore and I went right to Asian sensation and said hey make yourself useful make haste yeah he's allowing it yes it's fault exactly what do you call that when you're you're helping a crime aiding and abetting aiding and abetting yes she was hiv and abetting he got that right she had the hiv high five he was not uh getting inside and he was like oh he like his shoulders were up he was doing this he was shrugging and I was like what do you just tell them to shut up because if I do it

they go oh the dumb clown is yelling at us if you do it you're you have a funny bone shirt on there's some sort of authority I know you're 11 years old with one pube and six zits but get in there yeah kick them out if you have to yes throw them out I'm a big throw them out guy throw them all out like when I I don't want to give anything away but I used to open for a certain comic and uh his big thing was if I say get that guy a drink that means throw him out yes and he would do that every 18 minutes yeah and this guy was obviously bigger than I am now so he had a little more pull where they were glad to have him at the club so they did whatever he said but still well maybe we gotta start doing that Andrew Schultz who's now he blown up huge he's huge funny guy yeah he uh I was in a

comedy club and uh they were like boy you're a lot nicer on these people than Andrew Schultz I guess Schultz shows up and before the first show he's like if anyone talks you warn him that another time that you throw him out yes I don't care throw everybody out but it's weird we have to say that that should be just the decorum policy yes the policy but some comics like it rowdy and like chatting like a tell likes it a little rowdy yeah yeah he's an animal but I'm not gonna say another name but there's a comic who's been to jail for quite some time that's like his hook and he's like if anyone talks throw him out immediately if they heckle me I will threaten to fight him and he's fought a few people in the green over in the lobby oh my god yeah so like this guy's been to jail and back he's

no spring chicken so uh like it's just weird you gotta coach these businesses up yeah about different strokes for different folks and all that because sometimes I will say in fairness some of these people the the bouncers whatever they walk over like hey you gotta stop and then the comic is like hey leave them alone what are you what are you doing you're and then they look like asshole so they're trying to not get stuck in the middle or whatever that different people handle it different ways some people like to get it rowdy because they're having fun in the comics like no no I was having fun so I do understand they can be in a tough position yes but the pure apathy thing is annoying oh yeah especially betrayed when it's not a back and forth it's just a person talking

loudly yes no comic like someone just chatting loudly at the table that's a good point there are comics who might do crowd work and go you said what'd you say say it again where are you from what's your mother's name right but if they're just having a conversation fuck them in the ass please write in the poop shoot because what's the best club in the city the comedy seller and what's the most stringent you know strict throw your ass out club also the comedy seller exactly and I think it's almost like a teenager where they crave discipline you need they want to because once they walk in that door and you go turn that fucking phone off or I'm gonna punch in the balls if I see you doing this I'm gonna put my dick right in your ear hole oh they go okay

okay and they go shit this is a real show we are in for a good quality time right now also just a quick to be fair again the seller also and they've they've earned it but they're also selling out every show so it does make it easy to throw people out when you're printing money I mean you're selling out every show so it's easy to go hey get the fuck out of here whereas if you're a club that's drawing 14 people you're gonna be like hey can you just deal with it because we need that 80 bucks I agree but I think you get to that level by having that integrity early right that's what I'm saying is a chicken in the anal yeah another slight advantage too is that they are a restaurant that's open during the day these other clubs have to make all their money

in about two hours it's very difficult interesting yeah this factor is I'm trying to understand all the factors sure that's a good debater I'm trying to really learn and yeah yes master baiter yeah I need my own gum but uh on a spoon yeah so that's all I just had to yell at that Asian kid he I talked to him later he's like I'm so sorry he was like a sweet kid he was young and shaky but I was like it hurt my feelings seeing him three inches away from this yep and not doing anything that's all yippie-de-yip uh well should we start plugging our ass oh no no I got one more thing oh you gotta say oh thank god and feel free to chime in I will I just spit up food um last night I do a gig out in uh Jersey New Jersey New Jersey not old or basketball and uh it's a gig I

done five years ago now it's at the brown bear pub good gig this guy Kevin runs it good egg how do I kill yeah and I did it right after my first Conan and I remember thinking like remember how dumb and like wide-eyed we were at least I was you know you're like I did Conan I'm gonna be selling out everywhere I'm gonna be traveling a private jet me getting blown by you know Joan Jett whatever all those things did happen just not good point the result of the Conan not never got blown by Joan Jett but I'll the night is young well hit me with your best shot thank you I couldn't think of the song that's Pat Benatar Joan Jett is I love rock and roll I love cock and come and uh mold all right well so I go back and you know my career's been you know I've done more I've done

five conan since then some tonight shows whatever you want to call it and so they've been like you remember us we were that group and we booked you back when you were nothing and now look at you and they remembered me and all this and I was like oh oh shit all right it was like a big thing for them so I get there like not a seat in the house open it's a full house baby it's outdoors oh yeah so outdoor full house I go out and they're like whatever you want to eat they're so nice so hospitable good eggs over there good people just you go 20 minutes into Jersey it's the Midwest Jersey is a beautiful state we've talked about at most underrated state they get a bad rap great people some of the best people great arts beautiful yeah and great alumni you know you got your uh

Frank Sinatra and uh John Stewart so uh I get out there it's fun and they put some comics up up first and it's good time but it's in that heat that humidity that muggy sweltering heat and they go what do you want to go give me the fish tacos so now I'm sitting out in the like behind the show eating fish tacos in the dark like in just like a little step area and ants are crawling on me I don't know but big fat black ants are crawling on me and I go oh my god I didn't notice I was chomping on the tuna watching the the comic I love chomping on that tuna oh flaps flaps big black ant Chris Allen's family was there uh-huh yeah hello who was a southern Baptist so uh I go oh my god I'm just a brushing ants all one was on my shoulder that means it climbed

all the way up by five foot 11 frame and you know was on me he could have jumped he could have jumped I guess I don't think ants jump blacks can jump true all right I say uncle so uh finally I go on and uh it's hot like two minutes in your pouring sweat your pouring sweat and I feel a big fat black on tea oh going up my leg what's with the ants I what's outdoors is an outdoor gig I know but I mean uh patio baby oh geez patio patio so you know I'm like you have not a curtain puller so I try to write it out you hate a curtain hate a curtain so at one point it's behind it's tickling the back of my knee I'm like this thing will bite me at some point I'm already pouring sweat I'm hot as balls I'm in jeans the lights are on me there's gnats everywhere there's dragonflies

and I just keep kind of rubbing one leg on the other like a like a grasshopper you know uh-huh trying to scratch it now it goes up to the genital area and I lose it oh you got an ant you fucking asshole gonna hit my pants so I'm like oh my god it's in my gentle but on the leg I could feel every every inch every movement but now it's up in the balls it's in the pubes it's in the underwear it's in the schmegma it's in the toilet paper it's in my asshole I don't know what to do but I just you know I'm like oh boy peanuts are weird what's up with legumes walnut who gets it so I'm just freaking out I got a I got an ant in my sack I do the hour goes great great people got paid got out of there nothing I don't know where it went never resurfaced never resurfaced

never felt it again but it's in there oh he's probably in your bowels I think he's in my bow I think he set up shop he got a loft oh wow that's exciting I don't think they can survive long in there if he went into that asshole forget it do you think oh yeah what's he gonna build a hill on a poo I mean he's done yeah maybe a poo hill have you pushed him out maybe I'll put I haven't shit since I've taken shits the size of an ant I got a bad diet a lot of cheese oh yeah that'll pack in nice and you have those we like like a little carpenter ant falls out that's the whole shit you look a rabbit you should have pellet I wipe and it's clean and then a fucking my mother's record oh yeah she's got a good record platinum so uh yeah that was it but uh holy hell and boy

these these crowd I mean this is like god not I want to say god for him but he's like mid not midwest with mid-century suburban oh suburban suburban I ate you know moms it was a lady in the front row named Ellen she was very nice she had long white hair and I started talking about some shit like the pedophile jokes they're not into racial stuff not into it was dicey wow it's funny because the the writing is just as good but the subject matter alone makes them recoil yeah they have it it's it's hard hard to hear these things I guess so but I just don't like do you watch the news the news is much worse yeah the new and the news is real and the news is real we're kidding it's fascinating all right people think you can't joke about something I don't

know I don't know what's what anymore yeah it's like that uh Taylor Ketchum bit you know like everybody loves hip hop is that his which one they love hip hop and it's guys talking about killing people and fucking bitches and smacking hoes and jizzing in their assholes and you know throwing their tacos on the ground but they love hip hop but then you talk dude comedy and they go oh easy I'm like well these are jokes and that's real oh Dave Smith was it Dave Smith it's a Dave Smith joint yes funny guy smart guy well people got to think what they want and uh we can't control you know what I mean yeah yeah but then you know it's weird as I saw some people on Twitter the day like all these comics who rant about PC like get over it but I'm like well maybe you get over

being offended all the time like I'm only doing these jokes in the rants because you're annoying yeah it's hard everyone thinks the other person's stupid yeah and it's not it's not changing because they go wow you're people are too offended like you're offended about them getting offended and I'm like well you're gonna fend it about me getting offended by their fend it right it's just a circle jerk or whatever I'm not even offended by I'm just confused and I want to just do my job but I don't know blow me and eat me out yeah eat my own gum hey folks if you'd like to be offended or not offended but see us do comedy live come see us yes come see us tell some jokes I am in I think Buffalo this weekend oh yeah September 13 14 and 15 helium Buffalo coming back since first

time since I recorded the album our pal Matt Wayne will be both be farting and recording it come out next week I'm in Cleveland these are some big markets we need you folks Buffalo helium this weekend next weekend Cleveland hilarities with Jason canner and then just added Sacramento was it punchline yeah Sacramento punchline October I think it's 26 27 28 something like that of course the live pod is the 30th you got that right good routing I'm going to go to Sacramento then drive down to LA for the live pod we got those posters a killer make sure you bring a few extra bucks for that speaking of a few extra bucks if you're interested go on the Patreon we got a ton of stuff up there we're about to record another bonus so many bonuses up there

Tom Dustin's on there Dan Bulger's on there Doug Key is on there we're gonna have the live episode will be up there and by now it's out there I think we got Bert Kreischer coming on this thing okay the machine the machine is on the live podcast Hollywood improv spread the word tweet it out he's going to be there also Nick Vatterod who's hilarious Henry Phillips is opening that's going to be a magical night and it will be on the Patreon immediately after so get tickets to the live one and the Patriots you can relive it but you're not going to want to miss that one it's going to be a huge event and we we're hoping to double our Patriots this is going to be something I mean if you don't listen to this you're not a comedy fan or a human being with emotions I mean

we had all the live ones on there with Ron Bennington one from Moontow was amazing Chris D the Nikki Glaser one from Village Underground she killed it Yannis Papas is on a live one I mean there's so much fucking killer shit on the Patreon you're really missing out I'm not trying to be a douche here oh yeah we had Michelle Wolf on one we had Oots we had uh Wilson Vince there the list goes on so much good stuff so uh come out to uh Hilarities in Cleveland Buffalo I just updated my website comedian Joe list dot com and go to my facebook fan page comedian Joe list give that a like and a follow thank you I love you mark where you're going hey good stuff good spiel by the way Sacramento punchline the first club we ever did together yes you me and Rosa classic that was

what 88 81 must have been all right this week and I'm in Dallas Tejas at the hyenas comedy club already got some nice tweets about people coming out you saw him come see me come on me uh then we're uh rolling right on over to New York City Gotham comedy club first time headlining a club headliner club in Manhattan never done it before so this is a big one I hope to pack it out and hope you get some Tuesdays and some good people there stress factory new Brunswick then Uncle Vinny's in point pleasant New Jersey back in the jurors love the jurors then Cincinnati funny bone with my old pal fat Chris Al sober then Winnipeg Canada Seattle laughs comedy club love that room it's all on the website Zany Chicago a lot of Tuesdays hope you come out skyline in

Wisconsin uh Pittsburgh improv and uh Boston so a lot of stuff coming up oh I'm doing that I think I'm doing that uh cinema gig on Long Island oh yeah that's the one the guys fought each other yes that's always fun that'll be in December so we got time and uh obviously come to the live one come to sticker treat in New York too that'll be fun oh so yeah Mark Norman comedy dot com get the patron I love away I love Casper I love uh what's the other one the other guy fuck you Paul oh we gotta give laughable some love oh laughable oh go on laughable subscribe go on laughable get Mike Becky owns album get uh Saint Germain dance Saint Germain's album a lot of fun stuff thanks for all the roast battle love I don't know what's up with Pete he's a weirdo

and uh Shelby's uh he's around so say hi to him he's got giant lips and a big head so uh thanks a lot kiss your uncle praise all uh big black ant and uh caress those bad lips be nice to everybody yep love me