Tuesdays with Stories! - #292 The Rad Tuescast

Episode Date: April 9, 2019

Folks, Mark and Joe are both traveling away from home this week but we've got friends of the show Anthony Devito and Greg Stone to fill in for them! That's still pretty good, right? Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus eps and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays Check out Greg and Anthony's podcast 'The Rad DudeCast' We have have NEW t-shirts. Get em' here! www.merchpump.com/product-category/tuesdays/ Download the Laughable app today! laughable.com/download

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be chasing you're gonna roll around you're not gonna sit down I feel like it's too much like an interview yeah I feel like I can't hear you right well let me bring

us in because people know this isn't the rat dude cast you have no idea who we are the Joe and Mark sound weird welcome welcome to Tuesdays with stories do you think people have hang on I gotta tell people what's happening here they will not know my name is Joe list and this is Mark Normand hey hey I can't ever do it Norman can you actually let me just say who we let the love of God let me get this podcast already that's my friend Anthony DeVito I am Greg Stone we are two of third members of the rad dude cast taking over for Tuesdays because Mark and Joe both have severe leukemia and we are going to raise some money yeah

maybe a race for the cure everybody so if you could donate to our patreon page it's under the rat dude cast yeah we it's under the rat dude cast but it all falls under the Tuesdays stories umbrella and we will be sure to get them the money we'll get them the money need yeah we're gonna get Joe some new teeth Joe needs new teeth yeah well here's the thing about Joe's teeth now I feel like they're okay aside from the fact that I know he's had some issues with like dental surgery yeah in terms of a yellowness crookedness because those were your complaints that he used to have about right but I feel like now they're

good well he the thing is that he never had he had a couple minor teeth things but in his mind he thinks he was end-stage teeth lymphoma and like you have to like when he was in the heat of his fucking like mania yeah you couldn't like I would look at him you go keep your eyes off my teeth they there's too sensitive like his mind would explode he's just stressing out I have to pull a car over and I was like dude you're gonna be okay I he doesn't know but yeah his teeth are always fine I always feel like he's got some teeth issues going on because even I saw him I think last time I saw Joe we were passing by each other

at a New York comedy club yeah a couple weeks ago or something and there was sometimes like hey man how you doing he goes I'll buddy my teeth like it was I was like the last time I had talked to him or not talked to him but like we had done a gig in Poughkeepsie maybe like six months ago and the teeth thing were an issue and then that's six-month gap is still going on I guess yeah I think you had a couple root canals it's funny is like the people who listen to this podcast probably know way more and like I'm sure I'm sure them but he didn't tell me well you're I mean I'm you know Joe and I are friends I didn't go to the

wedding you know obviously not his first subject for me I barely bring it up but you and Joe are very close so I'm sure that we'll get a lot of responses how come you two bozos don't even know what's going on with Joe's dental hygiene yeah yeah right well we do we do it's not it's just not as important as the leukemia that we are fighting rummaging through their bodies both of them yeah and you know I didn't struck both of them at the same time Mark is doing his best to outrun it by going to by doing as many spots as he can in one night but leukemia is an unstoppable force cancer showed up at the cellar cancer was too

late he's already at New York cancer doesn't accept excuses as to why you're late I think it's gonna get him did you know I used to do that because also we should talk a little bit about them that's how I yeah well that's what they told us to do Mark yeah Mark told me what to read two clubs I got past that because of Mark one was levity live because I open for them and then they were really nice I start working there right the second was stand up New York because I would just go to clubs at Mark was working because he would look so many they'd be late so that was just well I know Mark's gonna be late and then

they'd like we don't know where this guy is and I'm like well I'm here and they throw me up and they're like this guy this stand-in for Mark is pretty good people only do that with black comics and Mark well I was gonna yes that's who the other people know cuz yeah people would tell me that no not people me that's what I would do but I didn't want to say it on the air yes that people that was my system you go that was like this is like yeah looking back that's a you move that's a Greg that's a Greg Griff listen stereotypes or stereotypes and I don't believe in them but the truth is the truth a couple of them whole

water every time and and to the defense you know it's like it wasn't I didn't just go is this guy black I would go oh like he is a black comic and this one definitely is late a lot yeah you know what I mean like there was a couple you know like if they were in the indie scene they would just be on time but like three okay this is not gonna go very myself this is the end why nori be late for every story would be late and I would follow around nori worked every scene every single spot yeah no way now I'm hearing I this is now this is the thing yeah right someone was telling me that I don't want a woman told me this

that a lot of like the young female comics late and cancel a lot too okay so if you're out there trying to do spots maybe look at a few female comics not all of them but the ones who maybe haven't been doing coming that long but somehow managed to get past the clubs follow them around I'll take this don't follow me around I show up an hour early for every spot Greg shows up obnoxiously early if you ever you know man there was that one time you were at levity and you were there for like six hours early well that's what I do yeah because the car ride to levity is a 45 minute drive but if you hit it at six o'clock it's

gonna be an hour and a half so I would go at three o'clock go to the mall I go the mall I do laser tag I do go car make a real shopping yeah it's like a whole adventure how the show comes around you're exhausted yeah there was that one gig it was who was you me and Sam where we did Rockwell's in a Pelham oh yeah yeah which I think moral yeah which we thought it was gonna be hours away yeah so it was like a half an hour outside the city and all three of us had gotten a hammered the night before I think it actually might have been Mark's super hungover yeah well just a little note to people at home Anthony just put

his hand on my bookshelf and almost knocked all of my fancy things off the show video feed you'll get it on the video feed well I don't see a video camera we were so we were all we're hungover super hungover we do that Rockwell's gig we got there I think it was an eight o'clock show we got there something like four o'clock in soup and we just there was nowhere to go there's nothing to do there so we just sat in that booth and we each ordered prime rib prime rip we got appetizers we each got desserts put on the worst show that people have probably ever seen and not that like I'm you're more you're more active on stage

but but Sam and I are a couple fucking statues so I am not that active when I got a 32 ounce prime rib and a lobster tail in my belly three cups of wine Rusty even have any lower energy than we already have less engaged than we already can be and that I mean that club or that room must have been like never again yeah never again these guys just ate our whole March budget in one day that's the fucked up thing I've been to a lot of club like the real like shitty clubs yeah always be like you can order whatever you want but you can't have the steak I've always been like that's an asshole thing right I gotta

be honest they're right don't give us a steak because I'm gonna have a steak and I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna be mobile enough to move well Ralph he may have I even wonder if he even had a way problem or he just played a lot of bad rooms and was getting his money's worth yeah yeah it's true just a lot of potatoes yeah I used to do that man it was like if this club isn't paying me good right I'm gonna order everything everything that's free I'm taking yeah napkins tape paper you know toilet bowl toilet paper that fax machine plugged in yeah that's going going home with me baby I'm 15 for free well that was it was

always like coming up and I mean you still you know we're still doing these shows but more coming up there were the only shows you were doing were these bar shows where it was just you know you get paid in drink tickets and you're like well this is how I'm gonna get paid yeah yeah so what am I gonna do here yeah I'm gonna develop a problem yeah I always love to when like you're trying to do it when when someone asked you to do a show and they're like hey man but we feed you and it's like yeah man cool that's 37 man I can get a dinner you know I mean like I don't give it how about you pay me supposed to be thankful yeah

that's one of life's necessities yeah wow you do that will you will you be having a roof as well at this production yeah the thing I you pay for at cost you're gonna get you know like dude you could drink as much as you want well you're paying 32 ounces 32 dollars 32 cents for a whiskey I don't give a shit like you're doing me a fucking favor yeah I'm doing a show tonight at a pizza place yeah you get one slice of pizza and a soda and it's like I get it you know one slice but guess what slight pizza costs you seven cents give me a fucking pie I'll take a whole pie sausage so I want everything put cash on

the toppings I want money on the money god damn yeah it's so bizarre man yeah I got a mark story also I am going fast you're not you're not you're going pretty good you tell me if you still want to flush some things out if I'm going too fast I feel like we're flushing man we're okay all right I'll let you know also this is Anthony DeVito Greg Stone I don't remember if we ever said that call in call in 1-800 fuck your mother in the ass that's the line spill that out oh is that too many letters for a phone you figure that part out just keep pushing we'll answer yeah you'll get through remember Joe and Joe it yeah again it's

five on the hour race for the raising that money for Joe and Mark donate at the raddudecastpatreon.com absolutely over a hundred dollars yeah it's not looking good put everything you have into this did I tell you the marks the Joe story when we went to do the club in we went to do Philly helium oh that's always a great story yeah this is come up a lot lately it's my face one of my friends you know yeah it's a great one pretend as if you haven't heard I will not hang out to dry on this one I do love it yeah we're going I'm opening for Joe at the helium and they start telling everybody that's a secret secret

headline and they had been to do a series been doing a series of these right series of these shows secret headliner right all you like you don't tell you just burp right into the mic you don't think Mark does that every episode I imagined Mark probably farts I think Mark probably put a mic right to his phone and crazy if you don't think and you know I maybe I've listened to a couple of Tuesdays with stories yeah like I would imagine Mark is burping directly in the microphone all the time can't deny or confirm don't listen don't hear a free man Mark loves his life a lot like me we're very free men yeah I

know but just saying you don't have the headphones on I have the headphones on you're burping right into my ear that you should say thank you so we're going to Philly yeah list is like I don't know like they are not telling people who the headliner is all they're telling right is just these slight hints right that Jenner that are just literally all leading to this is Louie this is Louie CK Louie CK is coming they're like Boston comic not in shape you know like has been on TV FX yeah white guy yeah show this dick to a bunch of women we are like this is Joe this is Louie we get there and we're like maybe people won't

put the can we won't connect the dots we pull up the line because this is in the heat this is before the allegations bill this is when Louie was in the heat of Louie the allegations I admitted it yeah an allegation of a true allegation yeah good the line is down the block right people wearing pootie tang shirts all right bald man you know people dressed as Louie cosplaying it out like it's a Star Wars movie so everyone's got a black shirt on yeah jeans they shaved their head dyed their hair red Joe looks at that crowd and he goes oh no just yeah sick like right they don't I'm like I don't like now man like you got you know

you guys have similar fans I don't know you know you know that comedy central was pretty good Joe yeah we uh we uh the crowd is pumped I go on stage I'm pretty sure I have to bring up Joe I'm looking at this crowd people are there they're salivating they're like they're there they're touching their fingers yeah Louie yeah but I'm there just like and I literally see a guy go their fingers you know I can't explain what that means you know when people do this when they touch their fingers oh I don't know like a supervillain would be very excited oh and like a supervill gets excited yes I know exactly I mean I'm also doing it to

you in person you didn't see me doing it no I know exactly what I'm doing it right now fingers first and then you started doing the visual I literally see a guy go I can't believe Louie's here right and I'm I'm I'm laughing I'm bombing because people are just like get the fuck out of here right Louie's coming in all right right and I'm I'm laughing I'm bombing but I'm laughing yeah in my head you know yeah cuz if you're like if you guys hate me cuz I'm not Louie wait till the guy I bring up who you think was supposed to be Louie yeah so then I go lesion show me your next comedian super funny right and I

don't you'd think I would have said Tuesdays with stories right no no real piece of shit pretty early on with who's this yeah but I could have let them but you could I let you prep I was like he's got a show called Louie I think I really like I think I really drown him out there I see a guy in the front row go here comes Louie I could see it I could see them I go Joe list and you audibly hear people go like what and I would say like the first two minutes or three minutes maybe like Joe struggled but then he like he you know I think he addressed it immediately here killed yeah you know some of the details vary you

know my stories I like to have a good time I don't know how much exactly of this happened what do you know I'm like 90% she like yeah like he killed yeah I remember that have like I remember you telling me that story like great show maybe the day after it happened like I'm sure Joe killed you know oh yeah yeah I think that's the part that you were that's the part I remember because he's not that funny on on a podcast come on Joe's great Joe's got him better he's come on that's let's be fair yeah oh yeah Joe oh man he had that throat thing for a while that was killing me what was the throat thing is a lump in his throat

that he felt was cancer and I was like I don't even I wouldn't even like he would say things now that he had so many little paranoias that I had to like talk him off of right but he could literally be like I had sex with a hooker unprotected she has AIDS right now I think I have AIDS and I'm like you're fine you just make shit up in your head you know like right so you know Joe's gotta be so happy to have you in his life because you do have the somewhat of a medical background I have a medical background that I did not go to college for I just worked in a hospital for a while very barely image you know barely

anything and it's fading and it's been 15 years almost yeah that's true but I do think when you're someone who's like panicking what you're going through what you're going through yeah just to have someone who's like hey I worked in a hospital 10 years whatever they say holds a lot more gravity yeah you know even if it like it buys you I don't know a couple hours of comfort and then you go right back to you know freaking out again yeah those couple hours are nice yeah yeah just enough to whatever you know yeah but I love you know I should also I think everyone knows that I love I love Joe because yeah we took that trip

to Poughkeepsie I was trying to comfort Joe but I you know I would you know I was like reaching into like you know man a couple times I've been to a dentist you know like I didn't have I didn't have a lot to draw from to make him feel better about his teeth you did Poughkeepsie with Joe yeah we did laugh it up maybe I don't know a year and a half ago or something like that you couldn't do it for some reason that better be your answer no that was it still in my head now Joe and I Joe and I click but we don't click like the two of you click yeah well it's just from makes that's like we were talking about before on the train it's

like that just comes from shared trauma you know like we've just done enough gigs together that sucked right that like that's how you build a friendship yeah you know I mean like totally like Joe is very easy you know he's very easy to go along with but you do yeah I think we really we've bonded on a few things but we did a show we drove down to like the South Jersey to perform in a tent and Joe's it was hot Joe sweated through his shirt he's performing drenched in a sweat through shirt and it was just like we just we've done gigs where that where this it starts by the guy just going here's a microphone just go yeah

like there's no stage we've done those because you and I have done a million of those together those and then you know it's like all that bonding that comes from that yeah totally yeah Sam and I have a good amount of those yeah Sam's your guy Sam is my guy and then you know I mean Sam and I worked on the MSG show we had all that so Sam and I've had a lot you know crazy you guys work on that show yeah oh my god Sam and I have sat next to Darrell strawberry bombing so you know that'll do something to a friendship I bombed on that show with you or not that was I was I'm still mad well to be fair that wasn't your we

all bombed and that was nobody's fault but Chris Jericho which is a sentence I never thought I would ever say yeah that was the work cuz like you know Sam and I we would have a rundown of what we're gonna do on the show and we had loose jokes to go with the topics you sent me an email full of topics to write bits on totally that I spent hours writing on absolutely as you should have yes anyone who would have been lucky enough to do people talking so Chris Jericho is the guest with Greg so you know it starts and Chris Jericho he has the energy and I think this is fair to say of a very dangerous person he's not he's not all

together like that intimidatingly tall but he's like he has a presence about him yeah that's like oh this guy could kill me it he's a wild card which doesn't come across that much on wrestling no I guess he's around so many other maniacs right you know I mean like maybe when you're dipping when you sit next to Brock Lesnar totally it's like I don't look so scary you're like I feel like Jericho could do my taxes but no you put him you put a professional wrestler in a setting with no other professional wrestlers yeah and that's a rabid dog yeah with Sam you and me yeah yeah that's oh that's a man who could just kill

us all at the same time and there's nothing we could do totally yeah yeah so it starts and Sam was like he's like hey here's what we're gonna do for the show and Jericho goes I don't do topics just like such an insane stance to take in general you know so how are you a diva you're the intercontinental champion you're not even the world champion never got there let's be honest you wear an electric jacket on stage but yeah so Jericho does that and then like I think all three of us were like this could be a little rocky yeah and then we tried to have a story about a professional wrestler on the show to give Jericho

something to talk about yeah you know cuz mainly cuz Sam and I were big basketball fans so like mainly talk about basketball so in case Jericho doesn't know anything about basketball we'll do this wrestling story and then he thought it was like got your journalism oh my god and he was like he was like I see what's happening here clickbait which I think it's just like a word he's heard you know yeah yeah yeah so then he fucking talk clickbait yeah TV he said something like my mom would say he goes you're not gonna clickbait me he just talked the whole time we couldn't that was the problem yep is we couldn't get a

word and edgewise and then I think we were also startled that we couldn't support each other yeah so then we all were just we're so uncomfortable every time I started thing he'd jump over me and then just go on to some story and I'm like man like you're on TV every Monday man you can't give me a shot you can't give me a hot chance on channel 5,000 you know I mean like no one's watching this shit let me this is just for my dad to watch I'm doing this so my dad can see that I've done a thing you know and you are just talking right over me he steamrolled us and it wasn't a thing because we would have other

people on the show who are even you know who you're you know we would have actors on the show who you're like all right if Justin Long gets out of line I'm just gonna tell him to shut up yeah yeah yeah exactly I'll smack Justin fucking Apple guy right in his lips you're fewer than the worst diehard yeah yeah well Jericho is like there's no way I'm even gonna approach that exactly it's like I gotta bring a knife right to an interview yeah man it was horrible I felt I felt really terrible because that was that was the one that you did and you you know I did one you did one I did one pretty deep into the

run yeah yeah we cleft on that show that was you just being like well I gotta get about once I really my best friend you know I gotta get about once and I remember cuz you know MSG I think they wanted they wanted to go more towards sports yeah you know I mean Sam and I know a lot about basketball but we didn't we don't it wasn't like a show an analysis show yeah we want we just wanted to be comics so like they we were trying to get you on and be like what's Greg gonna do and we're like I don't know he knows a lot about superheroes so he could relate that to the sports world that could be kind of

fun and then when Jericho was on cuz he was a wrestler yeah how much you like wrestling we're like oh this is perfect yeah it's been nightmare I've done some research also it's funny if you go back and watch the YouTube video it looks like just one of the you know one of the sound guys found is what I talked so little that it looks like just somebody who was working the cables is sat down and it looks like in men and three men and a baby when they scroll by and they see that ghost and they're like is that a dead guy right yeah that's what I looked like on that show wait are you talking about the the real ghost that's

in three men and a baby we'll know because there isn't a real ghost in three men and a baby no but there is right I guess that's what I'm talking about is that goes to three men and a baby but it's not a real ghost it was a guy who was in the production that really like they were filming and he just jumped behind the curtain because he was like shit I wasn't supposed to be out here and then everyone was like it's a ghost it's a ghost but it's like no it's just like a production kid like that lady in the Wizard of Oz Wizard of Oz also they say it's people hanging right no it's actually just ostriches they had live

ostriches on set to have for the animals and Oz and so the swinging you see is just an ostrich's neck from what's walking by wow so I guess Newtown didn't happen no let me let's work this is Tuesdays with stories it's 735 on the hour call in 1-800 fuck your mother in the ass yeah remember donate we're trying to save those guys what is your worst bomb my worst bomb I think was I mean I think we were just talking about it we're because you're going to do the Glasgow comedy festival tomorrow oh yes I think that was probably my worst bomb was the there you do two shows you do an early

show and you do a late show at this club called the stand it's a great club and the early show I couldn't have felt any better about myself as a comedian it went great and then the late show was the worst performance I've ever had to a point where I was like I I think I said out loud I can't believe I've traveled this many miles to bomb it was yeah it's like I actually got an actual soldier you know you know you know you know it's like you're going to Afghanistan yeah to bombs of actual people except it's comedy yeah because I remember at one point it got so bad that I was doing bits I was doing a different 20 minutes

that was just to make the book or laugh at one point I went I think Sarah will like this and she was just laughing and that was it it was it was horrible horrible yeah it was it was it was so bad because usually you know you bomb and bushwick and you're like all right well now I gotta take the train back an hour and think about this this was like well I guess I have to fly 17 hours and stop over in Iceland first until I can you know get back on stage yeah or whatever oh god what to think too it's like that different people over there you know I don't know what they're I don't know what will what will translate I mean

they're because of culture do they get drugs yeah they get you know they're modern people do they have cars yes they're living in 2019 they they all look I don't know they all do look like they are going to or coming from a fight that's how they're very friendly but they're also very tough at the same time but I think you'll do really well like I think you'll have a great time like I said the first show and all the other shows were great it was just that late show because over there they do comic intermission host comic intermission so you're it's a long show by the time I got up what is it like an hour two hours

something like wow yeah and I wasn't me up first I was too tired like I wasn't it wasn't a place where I was like I'm gonna you know what I mean I'm in for a dog fight I was really like they gotta be really good and then they weren't that's you know nobody's fault I mean my fault yeah yeah what's the worst one for you you think I have a few I don't have to do all of them but I'll tell you that this one is one of the one of the worst so I'm doing lol comedy club lol comedy club if you guys if I don't know if they've ever talked about it it's the worst place on probably you know it's not a club it's just a they lie to the crowd everyone

who comes is like lie they tell people that Seth MacFarlane is there that was doesn't even do stand-up well that was my favorite their particular brand of lying was so high yeah that day I once watched them try to say that Tina Fey was gonna be on the show yeah and it was like the night she was hosting the Emmys not even stand-up comedian and she's hosting the Emmys like I just love the idea that she's gonna do both in one night in Los Angeles where Tina's like come on wrap it up with that speech I've got an 1140 at lol for a $20 check this is not gonna clear for three weeks yeah but anyway yeah good yeah yeah yeah

so I'm at lol they had just changed the way the room looked so it used to be back there used to be like a high stage now there's a stage and a giant curtain behind the stage right so I go on stage there's one person in the crowd one guy in sunglasses just not laughing at anyone right right I walk on stage I do my first joke the guy doesn't laugh I go lean back against the curtain there is no wall behind the curtain I do a full flip through the curtain landing on my back my head pops up with a gopher the guy goes now that's funny laughs I walk on my fuck this fuck you I'm leaving I don't even wait for the host I just start

walking I would then I then walk take the elevator downstairs walk to where Times Square is because you know it's right outside it's in Times Square I walk outside available comedy club to find six police officers six police officers surrounding almost me and I'm like what are they looking at me for I turned to my left they weren't surrounded me there was a guy who had a broken bottle to his own throat and they're just going hey man like you don't do it you know things are worth it and I'm like man things are not worth it yeah I really bombed up there then I realized this fucking they're talking to these guys

but to commit suicide right outside of that's so funny he's got a bottle of throat and he's just like I was told Tina Fey would be here I was told Jeff Garland yeah yeah I mean LOL that was a common reoccurrence there is that you would leave a stage too fun just detectives right outside yeah very rare that you set out to do a comedy show and then all of a sudden you're like I think I'm a witness to a homicide yeah yeah were you there the night when the lady got on stage with me and started pushing me and I'm like what am I gonna get punch a woman in the face on stage the owner comes in pulls his phone out

starts recording and goes world star that's what the owner of the club did yeah no security this guy was just trying to get a hit yeah I was like a bunch of teenagers ran a business God yeah I remember I got I had a set that was so bad that I was so physically affected by it I looked a Indian family in the eye and I went go fuck yourself and it wasn't they didn't do anything but the crowd in general or just maybe years of performing there had it brought me to that point yeah where I did not do any favors for like American farm they were part of the broken system that's like when a black guy he's getting his shit

kicked out of him for years and he just sees a white guy and he goes I look at you like it's sick and it's like you represent everything that is bad with my life man you're a good guy yeah but you have no idea what I've been through yeah I got Al Sharpton yeah yeah whatever so I had this one yeah you know you know I told you this but I don't care it's one of my favorite stories I'm at Greenwich yeah this is the last time I ever performed there both of these stories are the last time I ever performed at said club great I'm at I'm at a Greenwich Village Comedy Club host doesn't teach no one

gives a shit no the fucking club the clubs and people are just screaming I walk on stage this is a guest spot I'm not even being paid right I go I you know anybody married you know lady screams she's in the bathroom runs out of the bathroom pants like her pants are unbuckled like she's so excited to scum scream that she fucking comes her pants are almost down she goes I'm married what are you talking about and I was like oh yeah easy lady you know it's it's it's it's it's all good you know like you could have you could have finished your shit yeah before you came out you'll be married after yeah your

bowel movement and she goes when are you gonna be funny and I said shut up ugly and she goes what I went you're not even pretty on the inside you're ugly on the outside the inside you're a you're a piece of shit like I don't remember exactly how I finished it off husband stands up and goes hey you can't call my wife ugly and I am done and I just went well fuck you yeah and fuck your ugly wife I put the microphone back in the stand and I walked out again no waiting for the host I walked out of that club forever I'm like I'm fine with it how many times have you cuz you've done this a couple times have you left

just an empty stage well I'm getting better at it yeah I told you like a few weeks ago I was doing this club at a vegan restaurant right yeah it's a vegan restaurant there was no one there two people walk in the whole time they're texting four people walk in drunk out of their mind yeah the host goes where you guys coming from they go we got kicked out of the other bar and I'm like that's who you want as a crowd right I walk in I go on stage you know like the host is going completely rowdy crowd I walk on you has everyone doing they're just like just saying whatever bullshit I went you know what you don't get comfy

tonight I didn't flip out I didn't close for you I put the microphone back in the stand I did 37 seconds walked out went home with a smile had a nice roast beef sandwich when I got home great that's the way to do it why would I subject myself to this this is a comedy you don't get something for me for free well here's the thing if it's a because if you're getting paid and there's a contract you're like all right I have to fulfill my contract but if you're not you're like why am I why are we bullshitting with each other I'm not even on the flyer yeah there's not even a flyer it's just like this it's like

when you're on a date where you're like where we're gonna go through the motions of this whole day we know we're not into each other 20 seconds in exactly gonna get out of here let's just get out of here why do we have to stay on stage or pretend like this is gonna work yeah no one's gonna be everyone's gonna be happier yeah no one's gonna be like I mean I wish that guy did not like the first 30 seconds in did like nine more minutes in 30 seconds that'd be great yeah also they're high they're drunk let them have a good time being high and drunk they don't need to have a comedy I never get that I never get because you

know I've been drunk a bunch in my life and I've never been like I'd love to get really drunk and be quiet yeah love to just listen yeah I'd like to scream and throw things if I could so if there's anyone for me to do that it'd be perfect comment is like the one place aside from you know I don't know a library where they're just like you can't say a word I saw a guy I think I went to go see what lies beneath yeah and someone was super Michelle Pfeiffer oh yeah someone had like a messenger bag I didn't think it was that scary really and I know I don't like scary music but I was like I just thought it's boring was that Richard

Gehr was in that too I don't remember here's what I remember I'd like to keep going on the only thing I remember was his guy was so drunk at the show he lifts his messenger bag in the air yeah whips it like like a bolo like he's gonna capture someone and throws his own messenger bag at the screen and I was like oh that guy's having a great time and and everyone the crowd was on board they were like screaming everyone was I was like this is wild that's pretty crazy I would even want to do that oh man I you had said that one story earlier kind of reminded me and I've told you this before where I was at Fox Woods

years ago and the host was up I hadn't watched his set and I guess there was a guy who's got a crowd in a mustache so you know naturally he was calling him a pedophile yeah yeah but I guess he had done a couple times but I hadn't watched his set so I didn't know he had done that so I came on stage and it was like front row and it was like it was early on in comedy so you're kind of grabbing at the first things you're seeing to make a joke out of that yeah to win everybody else over so I just like I had a huge mustache so I was like whoa pedophile the front row like why and his wife stood up and she just goes stop

calling my husband a pedophile we're working on it so that I mean that's kind of like that's a thing that guy probably shaved what you know I bet he had the other shaved or he stopped fucking kids you can't have nine comedians saying calling you a pedophile and you just go like yeah I eventually that gets in you for sure you remember we used to go to comedy shows I remember like we used to go to my first hour going to comedy shows you me our friend Mike Chris we were like just four white guys I remember every comedian every comedian would go on go looks like the Backstreet Boys are here really

every yes every happen hundred times wow Dawson's Creek remember that once yep it was it was every comedian ever and that's when I was like oh like there's premises like these are right but this is like this is a stock joke that like every time we were going to shows people would cause Dawson's Creek wow this that you know like whatever like no a boy band and you go and I would laugh because like good give him his momentum then I'll start going right people would die and it's like it's like and this day I still see it I still see like comics like here was this this is a plugin was just 90 degrees it's like for it's for

Filipino women I told you this right I was that I'm the Borgata yeah and I'm doing this Bill Cosby joke right and this guy gets up and he goes look at me and I was like holy shit man like you look just like Bill Cosby and he goes what'd he say he goes yeah it used to be great yeah that's isn't that great it's like yeah man at one point that was awesome right people were like Bill Cosby we fucking love him yeah now he's well yeah man now it's implications your success if you look like you know major celebrity your success is tied to their success yeah so you know things are going well for them things are going well for

you yeah the minute that 80 women testify that you drug and rape them yeah it's gonna be a difficult time for you when you're out to eat yeah also you know you're you like Ben Affleck you know you see Geely's bombing you're like this is gonna be a rough couple of six months you know Ben Affleck's gotta realize it's like I gotta put out the best movie because there's a guy out there who kind of looks like me he's getting laid off these celebrities have a duty to the people that are normal that look exactly like them yeah that's wild do you ever look like anybody oh yeah Jim Croci Jim Croci I don't know

you know whatever hijacker sure I get that I didn't know I really looked like that until I started doing comedy you do actually look a little bit like Jim Croci no Jim Croci yes Jim Croci I mean yeah I told that story where like I was I didn't know who Jim Croci one that was this was years ago where a guy was like getting on a plane and he just stopped me and he goes man you look a lot like Jim Croci and then he just boarded a plane it's a weird and then yeah there's that homeless woman outside of Eastville told me for a while I don't get as much anymore but I was getting a lot of 70s folk singers yeah sure she was a we're

outside Eastville we're waiting to do the mic and she goes she goes I suck your dick off yeah right off take that thing and I was like you know thanks I think I have a girlfriend yeah yeah and then she goes oh well you look like a young cat Stevens just get Stevens and Jim Croci the same guy no they're different guys get Stevens and became use of Islam that's where Islam mm-hmm wait a minute did he become Muslim and then change his name to the actual religion I think so that's like being Billy Catholic yeah yeah I think that's what he might have done no maybe I get more what I think when you're cats you you got a really

overcompensate you know I mean you gotta be like look I am serious about this yeah I'm doing the whole thing is my last name he should have just been cat Muhammad or cat it use of yeah I mean you should pick something a little less on the nose but I think you really wanted to convey to people that he was into this it's like when all the Facebook comedians first names are comedy comedian comedian Greg Stone it's like yeah I get it from the microphone pick man yeah yeah we're good yeah there's you know you've got a fake you know you've got a water pistol to your head yeah with a clown nose like I think I get what

you're trying to do here do you know Bobby ha ha yeah I am I wrong or do Bobby I die oh I don't know I think you might really I didn't know that yeah but now I don't want to talk about I mean now how am I gonna go on now it real asshole last name well yeah your name yourself Bobby ha ha I mean yeah well that was it was always a Michael Phelps change his name to a hey I'm Billy Splish Splash yeah Nikki Finns what's it to you yeah hair Harrison what's Harrison's last green bound no Stan yes Harris every Harrison not Harrison he's open for Patrice and he always has that great story about how favorites they were opening they were

doing a show in Philly and it was like Harris and him and the opener was a guy named ketchup he's like yeah it's like sat him down and he was like hey man all right so just you know let's think about this right I'm Patrice that's Harris you're gonna be ketchup that we're gonna talk about as ketchup you're gonna talk about politics ketchup you could you could talk about serious matters coming from ketchup ketchup yeah man you're a condiment morning you can't do that you're of course man and then like you know people are gonna walk away and be like you know I can change my view on immigration honey mustard he's like

really smart he's good man honey mustard is a great name for a comedian a female comedian his honey mustard that I would be yeah that is a great name oh we're supposed to tell more I guess like Mark stories Mark and Joe's stories right I feel like we covered Joe pretty good yeah yeah yeah Mark earlier before we're doing the pocket we're like whatever we could say about Mark we can't say a lot of stories about Mark yeah we're kind of in the middle of a movement no no yeah but I just have a lot of drunk stories from Mark they're like great but yeah I don't know what he would want to say that is what is what I was and we were

saying this earlier as Mark was like he was one of the first comics that I saw in New York and he was out of his way to be nice to me yeah because like in the beginning everyone's and not everyone's mean everyone's just very in their head and they're very nervous and and in general socially awkward and I remember I did I did the Creek Mike I bombed pretty hard but like Mark you know generally came up after I was like I really liked that um that joke about organic eggs or whatever it was and I was like oh this guy's like a very nice guy and he was always super kind to me and there was that roast of John up

out I was telling you this where I was like well Mark and in every single comment I was like what could they possibly say about Mark this guy's a great guy yeah he's funny you know whatever maybe his voice I guess they'll go there yeah and then every single comic was like you know Mark Norman what a fucking liar that guy is and I was like what now so nice guys like so nice yeah Mark I always like man Mark I've had some of the deepest conversations yeah every time I get into it with a conversation it goes to this level that like I love like we there's no there's no holding back we talk about our like

we did a I did a couple like serious XM takeovers with them yeah some stuff and I'm like these are some of the best conversations I've ever had yeah with a comedian about comedy and like philosophy yeah he always came across it's a shame he's dead but it really came across as a thoughtful guy that's the thing I love Mark and Joe I love them both are just too too amazing amazingly talented and funny and great guys yeah they really are my and that was I was trying to think of any like really funny Mark stuff that one time we did that live Tuesdays and stories where Mark we were talking about weird things that we

did when we masturbated when we were younger yeah I always thought that this was so funny that Mark would paint paint the nails on his fingers and then jerk off with that hand yeah because then that seemed like a woman was jerking him off so funny I hope Mark said that I've carried that memory for years yeah like one of the funniest things I've ever heard yeah first time I ever saw him was I think it Coco 66 was that show too cool for school and I remember he bombed everyone bombed everyone bombed yeah and I remember being like man all these guys bombed I could bomb yeah cool you know maybe we'll have me on I'll come

bomb here feeling like shit nobody did well pressures off yeah I could just I mean that's when I was like hey can I come to the show and I think at the time Nick Turner who ran the show was just like yeah man I don't give a shit who does this fucking thing that thing sucks like it was still building before it's like building a crowd yeah yeah I was like the stage was super high wasn't was it Coco 66 yes and then it turned that it moved to Red Star yes yeah and those guys because when we first started like I think did like the first kind of guys we kind of I came friends with or like they were here before us was like

Nick Turner and Mark Norman yeah and Saint Germain Lawrence Danny Solomon Danny Solomon yeah Sims yeah Sims yeah those were those were those were that's a lot Neil Neil Stasney you know Neil Stasney is one of my favorite jokes he refuses to ever deal to it was the squeal the squeal he would do that joke about I used to call me all the squeal and then people come out go you know and I was just dying and he was like Greg I can't do the joke it never gets a laugh I wonder if they've ever had Neil on the podcast I don't think they really do guests anymore oh right I think we kind of did guests and then I think that that

was the beginning yeah I think they just kind of do their own thing now and they do the live ones and they do the live ones that was the one I'm so bad on one of the live ones it was a it was stress factory mm-hmm where it was I thought I was just opening for Mark and Joe yeah and then I thought they were gonna have Jeff McManus on as the guests uh-huh so I opened it went great and then they I didn't have any stories in my head and I thought I wasn't supposed to really talk because I thought it was gonna be all about Jeff yeah and you know who's big man is he know that name he used to like run he's the he's the kind of be

the door guy at the stress factor and then he would open every show oh okay funny like Jeff funny you know like a maniac in his own right but like a funny guy and then I thought it was just because Jeff had a lot of like he had been working at the club for so long so he had so many awkward stories with headliners that I was like oh I think it's just me the Jeff show and then I was like on as well and I didn't it was so horrible and you know Mark and Joe's rhythm is like tough to keep up with in general like they're just they're so fast yeah so then it was they would just turn to me and like Joe would be like

anything you have anything for that and I would be like you know I don't really think so I just I just was totally unprepared to you know perform in that capacity yeah and then I just I felt so bad no no yeah I know no no I know but I mean like we I've bombed on so many of what I'm trying to say is you're a good guy man yeah I donate man I know yeah no man I'm trying to think I did that fucking what the fuck I did stress factory I want it I think I had to have been with Joe it couldn't have been with Michelle I think it was with Joe and Vinny brand goes I'm gonna do some time yeah and I love Vinny man that kind of

makes me laugh yeah yeah it's great but I'm maniac yes I think he did 45 minutes up front or something like that that seems like a slow night for Vinny wow yeah take it easy and then brings me up and then I did whatever and he goes no come back here and then I have to talk to him on stage and do this whole like interview oh yeah do the whole interview isn't a podcast top it's great goddamn feature wait to bring Joe up and he starts like making jokes they're like trying to shit on me but I'm like shit on him back cuz I think he just thought I was just a feature right I don't think he realized I was like not having taught

me a long time I just have zero success and I throw shit on him and then to again the show is now done Vinny did 45 mm I did 20 and then 10 yeah of just getting yelled at by Vinny on stage the crowd is they're done yeah and then Joe came out and man he fucking killed like he killed because it was like I was like I don't know how he's gonna follow this this is a this is a maniac thing to happen well some of those crowds there they've been going there so long they get it they kind of get it that's just uncle Vinny yeah I think even like they know they've been usually does that when it's like a newer headliner yeah so I

think even those crowds are just like oh it's like Vinny is doing the six flags bit yeah like we got to really give we got to give a lot for this headliner cuz you know he we see what he's doing yeah I think he might have done this I mark and I were there for a week I think I might have done the same exact thing oh god it's like well you know I mean I Vinny like I just love I love talking to him cuz he's got those old school I love old school comedy yeah I'm a fan he always makes me laugh who was the guy we were at him what was that story we were at fucking Zany's in Nashville we were Zany's in Nashville done oh those

stories that guy told us a story about some guy doing coke and like he told us a story about and I forget the comics names but he told us a story about like the host because this was comedy in the 80s yeah it was the wild time that you wild but then some things are even wilder than you could even think yeah we told us one story where I think the the host was driving the headliner to the gig and then the headliner was like hey can we stop in this gas station I just got to get some stuff yeah yeah so that walks out I think a couple minutes go by you know the host is in the car doesn't hear anything whatever and then the

headliner runs out of the gas station and just goes drive drive drive and he just ripped off the gas he robbed it he robbed it on the way to the gig that's what's like so like he was just like oh yeah what am I gonna do cuz you know I think all right like before my show what I do maybe I'll take a nap maybe I'll you know I'll jerk off yeah like I'll write this email but this guy was like oh and I gotta rob that gas station I gotta do that as well yeah you're also getting paid at the gig man yeah you know like you're going you're on your way to getting money you just fucking sell merch for price six well you're looking

at the host like can you do 10 can you drive can you be an accomplice what can you do you do 8 to 12 for me also dude you don't know who yours yeah that's really good you don't know who is like at the gas station where they're just like that was the craziest thing I've ever seen and then they show up to the comedy show and they're like I don't want to be weird but I think that's the guy who did it like I just shot my uncle in the leg yeah yeah man yeah he just jumped over a register stuck his hand in the fucking punch that an Indian guy cuz there is that part of you know where I'm like I kind of wish I was a part of that oh

sure stand-up comedy experience but I obviously not now third at 36 I'm like that you that sounds so exhausted no no but when I was 20 but yeah when I was when I was 20 yeah there was another man I remember I was on the road there's a young comic who was telling me who's like a young headliner yeah we started headlining later on like in our you know 30s yeah yeah so it's like at that point you're pretty much you're doing the show you're working all day you go to the gym yeah do the show maybe you get high in your hotel room yeah go to sleep yeah it's really not exciting you know yeah but just super young comic on the road

who was just like yeah I get two hotel rooms when I go to places I get I get one for me and then you know one for me and my girl and then I got another room to fuck whoever I was like what a different experience you're having with this that is an 80s sitcom move yeah you're like you're talking to your wife and I gotta check let me go get some ice and you're fucking some girl he's like oh hang on a second I gotta go get a sandwich and you're sleeping with your wife it's like it's like a Zach Morris move how do you do that I don't even have the balls to attempt thinking about that right and I know who you're talking

about and I know that's a true story yeah I know you want to mention it but it's like that I know of course I mean but that's amazing yeah just threw me so much because he said it to us if it was like relatable to my life on the road yeah you know what I mean he's like you know what that's right right I'm like I didn't even know that was an option yeah I like mentally you could do that well the 80s I would love to be an 80s comedian because I'd like to do like the weird shit they used to do where they'd be like I was gonna be a professional wrestler you know like yeah come dressed up with a luchador mask and I'll be

the luchador comedian and people would go well I'm selling this place out totally we love that we need more occupational comedians yeah more of those guys that are just like you don't know Frankie the bus driver might be the funniest comedian I've ever seen mainly does bus jokes but yeah man does that guy kill Joey the fireman is a guy who is real and I worked with right and he was I mean he's got awful all he did was say cunt sure which I mean yeah you know I had a couple laughs but after he's going like that is fucking cunt and people were dying yeah oh god remember who is who is the boxer he would do the

commercial he did the impression of the body he Bob Nelson Bob Nelson and he would wear the football right look up some some fun homework for you guys at home look up Bob Nelson look up the masked comedian the unknown comic the unknown comic yeah that's a guy who'd come out with a paper bag on his head yeah it's so funny I love it I love the unknown comedians like an actual actor or something it's so funny too because like those guys you would look at and be like man those guys were hacks but it's like I don't know those are all all comics yeah you know yeah it's only a hacky because people copied it and did it

later right that was completely original but that's so off on guard yeah yeah dude emo Phillips yeah a bit where he was like sawing through his hand or something people were bleeding I'm like this is weird but it's great like that shit's great yeah well I think with him because he always he also had just like great great written jokes yeah with it you know well that's I think if you work hard at it it'll be great right like he had it he had that oddball personality but if you just looked at his jokes on paper you'd be like oh that's like an incredible joke yeah yeah that's just Joe Mackie now you know the fucking

weirdo now he has like relatable stuff he's got real oddball weirdo yeah way he sounds I don't see it I don't you will you of course you immediately once you know him for more than an hour you don't see it anymore right you know it's like oh that's just Joe it's just how it sure no but I mean yeah of course man he's like I remember the first time I saw he's like a boy come to life yeah yeah yeah it's such a even Michelle you know we open from shell and she's a I forget be I constantly hear people go like I can't see her voice I go what like it's so high-pitched I hate it I'm like I don't even like once you get over it right yeah

you know I don't even hear it at all anymore yeah yeah yeah yeah I just see also a fun thing about Joe pure darkness yeah Joe peases pants every set that's a yeah you know that's not a real thing Joe list has got some kind of problem no yeah his penis is constantly leaking you have to notice it we should have been starting lies for the beginning of his podcast we fucked up this whole hour yeah yeah all right well we don't land this baby well and anything big you want to get into any fun stories you were like I should I wanted to talk about that too no not really when does this come out I don't know I think for

March 1st today is March 1st April 1st April 1st okay kind of a funny April Fool's Day joke that you download the podcast and you don't get to listen to Joe or Mark yeah I hope people aren't furious yeah but just remember they picked us they picked I mean so you know if you're mad we had nothing to do with this well I'll tell you this they we're saying this now the people who didn't want to listen have already turned it off yeah that's a good point yeah yeah yeah yeah well are you gonna be anywhere for you know well I'm going to glass well you glass cow you're gonna already be in Glasgow so yeah but in my eyes I'm

I don't like flying so I believe I'm already dead if I make it back from the flight what are you about to plug your funeral I just plug the rad dude cast if you would know yeah that's really it check out our podcast yeah go to at the rad dude cast on Instagram and listen to the rad dude cast oh and the Jason sign stuff we should plug to because I think this is gonna be out after no it's this Monday oh April 1st yeah so tonight come out to Arlene's grocery Greg and I are hosting we were hosting at this Monday yeah oh boy I better put that on my calendar I knew this I knew this of course this is what happens so you know

supposedly I will be there we'll see what happens but yeah Arlene's grocery 8 o'clock this Monday a buddy of ours and I'm sure you guys know because I'm sure Mark and Joe talked about it oh I got it in the camera or a benefit for Jason signs who's a comedian great guy super funny guy who fell through a skylight in Los Angeles and is like paralyzed and you know need support with medical bills and stuff like that funny guy great guy check out his the go fund me if you can't get to the show donate some money man we need help for this guy get out you know he's go funny is a science spines that's the hashtag oh look

if you really you really should donate but you can Google it yeah you can Google it and then also there were they're doing shows in DC and LA so they're listening from any of those areas especially in LA because I think they rented out the region see theater that's like 700 so I mean even if you live in the Midwest just go to Los Angeles see the show because they need you over there more than ever yeah that's it for us right cool yeah that's lunch