Tuesdays with Stories! - #308 Temple Mental

Episode Date: July 30, 2019

Hot tamale, Mark and Joe are back with a jam packed episode as Mark deals with a puking kid on a flight before an NBA star performs at his Hot Soup show while Joe dances it up in Poland on his first stop in Europe. Check it out! Sponsored by: Upstart (upstart.com/tuesdays) & Express VPN (expressvpn.com/tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus eps and full video eps! www.patreon.com/tuesdays We have have NEW t-shirts. Get em' here! www.merchpump.com/product-category/tuesdays/

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy we're live I was talking to the video the video got bonus picture on you get a little bonus business get in there boy I am rusty I've been off the pod for six

years I know it's bizarre I hit Fanny just emailed us that works out nice are you emailed us her too cucumber mint what the hell's cucumber mint what is this it's deodorant we're getting we're getting a free deodorant I want elliptus eucalyptus mint wait what's eucalyptus eucalyptus is nice you'll like eucalyptus put me down for you all right two yukes well you already said cucumber I don't know if you take it back ah lavender rose sounds nice that's a gay bar coconut vanilla stinks yeah too much vanilla out there I like a vanilla vanilla is my number one flavor as you may or may not know I still am blown away by that

blow you know I'll blow you we've talked about this before people shit on vanilla but it's it's just as exotic as chocolate or strawberry or your mother's not about exotic it but if vanilla is the default I don't want the default but we've talked about this before we're in reruns but people act like vanilla is plain people say just plain vanilla you know vanilla it's a bean it's a it's a flavor it's a bean it's like coffee bean or chocolate beans is bean chocolate bean or is that what is that cocoa bean huh the cocoa be I believe I'm back to the cocoa bean where's the I'm trying to find ads I can get off my phone and stick

up my ass pinto I don't know what you're talking about beans yesterday from Fanny July ad schedule reminder okay I got it to I don't know oh boy two emails all right well hey we gotta get good as people listening to this check check one two anal queef semen boy I have not seen you in what 17 days I think is it that long well it's been a while I was gone for two full weeks 14 days at a fortnight I don't know it was regular nights was at a four score several years ago for scoring several or seven seven okay right 27 yeah score is five years is that right it's four score and seven so it's 27 years I believe the score might be four

so it's 16 plus seven which would be 22 now that's just a style choice you could have just said hey 23 years ago you fags I was here oh yeah it was very stylish it was a stylish guy at the tall hat beard beard the gaze you know you never see anyone else rocking that beard no prez no anybody the the the muzzies have the beard not with no mustache do they oh yeah oh yeah and all them so maybe so Dom didn't have that so I had the mustache he had my dad's mustache and Latin but London had mustache and beard I believe it a stash I think he had some lip hair he was stashed that was a that was a great Gullman joke we said

the the just that this is the Fu Manchu this is a goatee and he goes the beer with no mustache that's called ugly Lincoln had one they shot him oh wow that was an old bit of his I like it I think I had another line there Lincoln was Lincoln a Muslim is what I was gonna say oh no no he freed the slaves well what does that have to do with Muslims were slaves too weren't they sure at some point in the Muslim world I think everybody was enslaved at some point yo yeah feels like I don't know yeah we act like we're the only people who slaved yeah enslaved a lot of slave and going on the Irish yeah that's everyone

says that but I don't know what goes on there a lot of drinking it's a go-to argument but I've never seen any I never read anything I just will say that and other people go no no it's bullshit the Jews yes they built the pyramid didn't they need to kill Jesus and yeah yeah yeah I don't know much about anything yeah I pay him rent but anyways I was gone for 14 seven countries in 14 days pretty wild wow counting America America Bulgaria Romania Poland Italy Germany Canada that six shit I might have missed one I think I'm I think you missed one I think I took a left at Albuquerque maybe I missed one hold on America yeah then

I went to Italy okay then I went to Poland then I went to Bulgaria then I went to Romania then I went to Germany then I went to Canada that's seven you missed Italy the first round no I said Italy it's recorded you missed it don't care for the whops I might have you beat there with the Chrysler tour all right well I'm just talking about just what just happened all right all right but go ahead no I'm curious Ireland yeah England Scotland Copenhagen that's not a country Amsterdam is not Dutch you switch to cities shit Dutchland Netherlands Netherlands or Holland Holland Netherlands wait I don't

know what we're at now but then there was Norway no where's that Norway's up there okay Norway it's not far from Copenhagen yeah I think it's next to Oslo I think it's Scandinavia Scandinavia is up there too Finland is not part of Scandinavia Sweden Sweden that Scandinavia all right what am I at I don't even know I don't know all right you're at norm and Belgium waffles whatever that is all right continue there fatty well I don't know where to start I mean we're all over the fucking map we haven't recorded since I don't know when the 80s I believe and then it's weird when episodes come out and I don't know what

we talked about people are tweeting and then I'm like I don't even remember we did an episode I know and then I'll post a photo they're going can't wait to hear about that cock fight in Puerto Rico like hold on hold on we got some backlog here we got a lot of backlog so what you want to use start cuz my throat hurts and I'm gay mine I'll ease in let's see we sometimes we get hot and heavy and all of a sudden I'm in Poland I don't know what's going on exactly well that's what happened with the stormtroopers all right I went to Auschwitz oh slow down there all right all right so never again back a I don't know 10 years ago I

went to Salt Lake City Utah wise guys love this club okay one of the sleeper a rooms I know everybody's like oh act me comedy on-stage Denver wise guys killer room okay by the way that's us that says that what's that you're like everyone so wise guys act me I'm like that's that's you and I all right we do that I'm shitting on myself I know you made us sound like jerks well I'm just that we gotta we gotta throw wise guys in the mix but wise guys in there I'm putting bananas in by the way I'm getting of course but I put your name down in the bucket what bucket at the wise guy I don't think I'm getting booked

at wise guys Michelle's talk you told me two years ago I got you in definitively you're in you said that's a quote I think you had a schedule and then Ari's like oh yeah we talked to you and then Michelle's like I told him that you're the best yeah he brought six months ago that's what you said last time a type 2 mouth I'm not working Utah five head I think it's safe to say you're gonna have to come see me in New Mexico oh in December yes Santa Ana Albuquerque whatever haha so go out to Utah I gotta gotta fly out of JFK which is always a kick in the pants I hate JFK now why do you do JFK when Newark is so close

because the Utah flights to Salt Lake are better Delta Delta that's a hub trying to be more loyal mm-hmm so I get that to JFK it's a shit flight it's like five hours it's nothing pretty I don't realize it but I check my Delta app sure middle seat yeah what are you doing I got a gal who does all this now I don't understand how you have these problems because I'm so hooked on this the timing of the flight and the price of the flight I don't even I you know just as 5e 5a 5k I don't believe that's all I do every day I checked every seat I look for the better seat I go exit row I see there's a seat that's free in

front of me so no one's leaning back wow my whole life it's all about seat choice wow all right all right you can't sit here remember that yes Rosa Parks is similar that's a mexico's kid that says that is that right yeah fun fact it's taken Zemeckis Zemeckis yeah the kid he said hey you want to be a racist piece of shit well that wasn't race I guess that was just that was a snob well snob he's he was not inclusive to her to like a retarded kid that's not a race but it's you know it's a bigotry that's the word yes yes wow the retard beat bigotry that's you don't hear about that one as much most people go hey okay he's retired and

get him in here yeah that's true huh I like a retard love a retard big fan of the tards so life goes on you got that right so yeah get on the flight JFK I ride I'm in the middle seat and you know what it starts raining and you're in the water in the rain just go I'm just gonna enjoy it or whatever make the most of it oh I see you can't get wetter than wet thank you you can't get more middle than middle seat right maybe the Middle East I'm middle for a long time beards so I go out the middle seat I'm sitting there fine dandy I got a lady on my right a lady on my left I love being in between a lady a nice nice cut

sandwich oh yeah we talked about this before when I'm on the train you have to pick a seat I always look for a lady a little lady yes because they're potato usually smell better than men you got that right definitely usually so I get in there I'm sitting there two ladies whatever she's asleep and she's gay and this kid you know about an hour on the flight this kid just going like oh I look over it's in the other row it's a fat maybe 14 year old got a little scraggly facial hair glasses you know hat twisty kind of nerdy kid like a comic-con dude sounds like me no no a chunky oh he's a little chunky he's got

some shorts on some clunky black shoes and a jacket around his waist this kid is a dweeb okay he's a fat dweeb preteen or whatever 1413 so he's kind of going like having these weird speaking in tongues and the mom and the dad they're all like it's a dweeb family there's the fat sister the ugly dad the gross mom well they're all together sounds like Zemeckis Junior would hate him oh yeah he couldn't sit there so then the mom's going it's okay Barry or whatever it's okay she's like petting him and then I don't know where oh yeah exactly stand by him so he was just yacking that and I got a look at it where you're like oh I

wish I hadn't seen that oh like that orange tinty yellow chunks I was gonna guess yellow yes bile yes and vile yeah vile is vile and I was getting miles interesting oh wow that was good smile we were I'm just like oh and you know the two women next to me are going like oh you know when one guy pukes it gets that feeling it's like a boner like you you go maybe I'm turned on but except with puke you go maybe I got a puke you get a boner when I got a boner well if I see you fucking I'll probably get it turned on I'd love for you to see me fuck maybe I should have said eat if I see you eating I want to eat right that's a

better analogy pussy so this kid so now everybody's kind of going like like gasping and going like oh god well geez what are we doing like people are rocking and moaning and he was it was those yaks were just like like you could hear the gurgling of it oh it's a grotesque I couldn't even I'm not an easily squeamish Jew but I mean this was too much and so the dad turned around the dad's in front of dad's going it's okay Barry it's okay get it out he'll feel better whatever like they're coaching him up did they try to give him the little bag the bag was useless I mean he was puking wider than the bag was

right opening of it and it was just so might was all in the pocket in front of the seat and on the whole thing I mean the back of the seat in front of him and it was all it was too much on the Sky Mall yeah and now these these flight attendants as much as I shit on them and call them cunts and for their their snooty and snotty they were they snapped in they run in they have a a powder you put down on the yak so it kills the smell I like the wood chips yes the chips chip and ale so it kind of dies down we go well that was something Jesus Christ all right everybody's back to normal the smell is gone the kid is he's

kind of dealing with it the parents are petting him and then you know another half hour boom another one he's going through this huge bags like there's no tomorrow I'm like how much fluid is in this kid's body so now it's just ongoing now we're in it we're up at 10,000 feet we're above Kansas somewhere and this kid is knee deep in vomit Jesus that's a low flight by the way yeah that's very low 500 30,000 feet 35,000 37,000 depending 10,000 is Wi-Fi 10,000 I think might be maybe Wi-Fi and like the waitress can move around maybe that's when you can

throw up I guess maybe that's when you skydive to a lot that's happened at 10,000 is a popular level 10 good so at this point I'm getting a little little churny so I go to the bathroom now I'm like God I'm in the middle seat it's a five-hour flight I hate myself I'm hungover whatever and so I go to the bathroom just like God just get through this get through this and then you start doing like hey at least I'm not that kid right now he's got a worse flight his parents are worse and his fat sister's she's got the earbuds in she's finger popping she knows this kid this happens every two seconds with him not to

mention once he's done puking the troubles are not over right sounds like he's got some clumpy shoes you said yeah oh yeah he's a mess so I go pee or just kind of regain myself in the bathroom five minutes later I come back the two ladies have moved oh they went to the back of the plank is no one wants to be around this guy so now I've got the whole row nice I'm cleaning up did you favor and this is what I learned a lot about myself now the kid is yakking more yakking more yakking I don't care I'd rather have the space and the yak then middle seat no yak mmm which says a lot about me space and yak versus

middle seat no yet with this with yak yes wait space and yak no space no yak right yes of course I'll talk back so you know I'd rather be alone and with puking then have people and no puke yeah of course okay so these ladies they hightail it to the to the tail wing and I'm just live I'm leaning back and I'm going hey you know get it out Barry I'm I'm I'm chillin boy poor Barry do you think he ate something or does he have that little flavor of retard he has I think he's got a little stomach semen I don't know what's going on but he was he's this was normal you can tell the parents are like it's alright get it out

like they were reading a magazine the whole time he's got like Down's bulimia yes down Lemia so yeah so here's the thing though we land the plane and we go all right this kid has been puking for four hours mm-hmm it's probably you know the turbulence the gurgle of the plane the jiggle is the kook is the clinker we land we're taxiing okay thanks folks here we go we're gonna pull a negate he ate and then we'll let you off here we're gonna just wait a minute yaks on the ground oh on the tarmac this kid's dying he might be dead I think he's got Crohn's oh no Crohn's is shitting I think oh shit now he's got

bulimia or hypothermia what's the other one that's the like bulimia but different anorexic I think that might be it but that's not right he was chubby okay I think he was just a wacky tobacco maybe ate some fish or something maybe had some airport sushi I don't know but it's like Jordan the flu game also took place Salt Lake City is that right yeah they suspect he might have been poisoned by a local whoa that's a theory those Mormons they're shifty yeah Hamilton so good play so yeah I get off of there and I go thank God he could just you get out of that plane everybody's like oh that was insane like there was so

much puke go to the show shows are great Caleb signing featured oh I know that guy killer act very funny check him I think he lives in LA Georgia I don't even know if I know he's we've tweeted at each other great jokes great style the whole thing and we just had a ball and what they the good staff you get you go out with the staff it's one of those clubs where it's kind of old-fashioned where the staff is always there they never flip oh interesting you know it's the same group of gals the whole time and you got a flirt with one and you got a thing with this one and that one yeah that's a good time sure so yeah there's

that Salt Lake now I don't want to hog here well don't know how I mean I don't know you know where to begin here but I'll start with the beginning of the trip oh boy so I did Gotham comedy club let me dabble into that dream come true very exciting Friday Saturday pretty full I had stone and Sarah on the show which you know the loves of my life my two wives over there the dream team and great time and I can't remember if anything notable happened but I'll tell you just feels good to work a weekend at I did radio in New York talk to some old radio this Howard Stern or some guy what and then I'm kidding but it was some old

guy down in like Tribeca or something you ever do that one some old guy rock and roll guy Johnny or something he was like a class he still smokes Johnny he's like you're going to see the stones I saw the stone I don't think I talked about seeing the stone I don't know what's going on maybe I did talk about that oh I did talk about that yeah but anyways went to see I went to Gotham Gotham four shows they were all great every show was great nice no hiccups no Hicks no ups just a good straight four killer shows nice now the next day I got to fly to Milan I got to fly to Frankfurt and Frankfurt to Milan what a life now it's Wimbledon final is

on Sunday you know I love me some tennis I'm obsessed with the tennis I'm getting up at 8 a.m. every day to watch longest game ever right long as fine first final never went to extra innings you know and a tie break they call it in tennis but anyways so I get up early I get up at 8 in the morning and I my flight leaves at like 7 30 p.m. so I'm like I gotta be there I got to get there early I'll get there at 5 30 it's international the whole thing so I'm like I got till 4 30 to leave and the fucking I don't at these times probably aren't right someone's gonna write to me I'm just giving you times I wake up at 8 a.m. like this if

this match isn't five hours I get to watch the whole match then I'll leave for the airport of course you know how it goes here we go the match is just a fucking all-time classic Federer joke of it goes back and forth up and down and now what happens is you know me I stop enjoying the greatest match ever because I'm doing the countdown yes I start going all right it's the fourth set if this goes to a tie break this is gonna take forever so now I'm rooting for Federer of course but I'm rooting for him to win quick every time it go I'm like now I just want Joe Kovic to win so it'll end I just want to see the end of it and now

I'm just stressed I'm fucking throwing shit around and you know you do that thing where you have to leave at a certain time you like let me do every single thing I have to do yes so in this ends I'm just out so I'm like in between like a like a set or a game I'm like I'll tie my shoes now I'll brush my teeth I'll floss I'll run extra get my my plane snacks then I'm like trying to think of what else I can do to be productive but really I'm just stressing out and now I'm not enjoying anything sure so of course the thing goes to fucking extra you know tie breaks and just keeps going it's a nine hour match

now I gotta leave and I'm texting with Michelle Wolf my friend Bart and you know Alex Brazell was a big tennis so I'm texting with all these people so now I gotta text everyone say hey you gotta stop texting because I'm gonna stream it I gotta switch to the app so now I got the ESPN app going watching the match but it's a delay because it's streaming yes I have to say do not text me no matter what you fucking son of a bitch I get a lift driver we get in the lift and I'm like all right I waited a half hour longer than I wanted to leave now once you leave and I give myself extra time of course but I'm like once you leave

past that time all you can do is think about if I had left at that time of course yes I've been there so I get in the car I'm like we're still fine if it takes an hour I'll still be fine so we start the journey and now everything in Astoria they're working on every part of Astoria 31st Street the main through way is shut down so we go up we have to turn all the way around we go all the way back we go this way this road's blocked it takes me 45 minutes to get out of Astoria wow and I'm watching the match the match isn't going the way I wanted to I'm stuck in traffic I'm sweating I'm yelling at the guy he's a nice guy to

he's like this is crazy I never seen anything like this and I'm trying to watch the tennis match yes he's like you like cricket you must like because there's a final was the same day he's telling about the goddamn cricket final I'm like I'm trying to watch the tennis match yeah I want to hear crickets we can't get out of there finally we get to the fucking thing the traffic is insane I'm like I'm gonna miss my flight I'm gonna miss the flight to fucking Germany wow out of control eventually I run run Rudolph through the thing I do the home alone I got my bag on my ass and my whatever the fuck I make the

plane barely make the plane though yeah get in there and I have the long flight but it's business class Louis you know doing okay nice business class no one in the seat next to me I feed up the whole thing I sleep the whole flight which is nice pretty much I had my eyes closed the whole flight I should we tell you eight hour but about seven yeah about eight hours seven and a half I think wow so I get to Frankfurt and now it's that weird feeling where it's six in the morning or whatever the fuck I have no idea what time it's all happened two weeks ago I got nothing I got questions okay sure how is the how much

is the lift because that when those those lifts now are like 80 bucks it's a lot yeah 60 bucks from my house I think something like that yeah it's tough tough lift not enjoyable but it was so stressful and then the match of course Jokovic one which is a bummer isn't it kind of nice that you care about the match that much I'm jealous that you care I watch I go that's a good game this is fun but you're like huh oh I was going crazy well I mean Federer had two match points and I this is the thing I don't know how these athletes do it I can't get over it he had two match points on his own serve yeah he's serving for

the match couldn't win and like I'm like I can't get out like the whole flight I'm just like wait I'm like fuck how and like how do they get over it they're in it you know what I mean of course it's brutal it's like I mean I can't even describe what that would be like comedically there's no equivalent now now I'm trying to think of one because it's like a tournament you've won seven matches you're for six matches it's the seventh man you're gonna beat the guy all you do is get one fucking point and you're serving and he couldn't do it couldn't do it and then it's up losing and heart breaking and it's fun to watch

too because he's one fucking 22 of them whatever and he's still just you fucking fuck me but also a commending leader what do you call it you got to give props to the other guy for stopping all those of course yeah yeah well it's so hard to close out because everything it's like comedy a little bit it's like set like when anything mental you get to that last point and there's just an amount of you and him amount of you ticks down and amount of him ticks up yeah ticks where you're like all right one more pull all I gotta do is get this one point and then the other guy's like this is that I'm gonna fucking lose fuck you

I'm not gonna lose right now and then they're thinking let me just not lose on this point yes and you're just thinking let me just win this point it just it always happens no one ever wins a close match no one ever wins in the first match point never happens but haven't you had that in ping pong or something where you're like oh I got this and then the guy pulls it back yeah I've had it this it's a bad feeling tortoise in the hair bullshit I remember I think we talked about this I remember losing to Louis Katz playing racquetball such a better athlete because he looked like a nerd he's like a little like like

accidentally hitting it it's like playing poker with someone like can't play poker yeah the beginner's luck and they just go or they just go like they're betting in on a thing and they get the river and you're like what you fucking doing in this game with a pair of twos you piece of shit but he beat you Jim twos yeah Louis Katz great comic both great comics funny guys very funny ones at you yep the other ones what is he Italian or something what's twos English that's Irish he the twos I don't know what he's got a weird look he could be anything I'm in my head here I feel like this is one of the ones where I got too

much and ends up suck I'm not even into Europe yet we're 25 minutes I feel like the story stinks I had the best two weeks of my life it's like we talked about sometimes when they're too good there's no stories I'm like it was just great but anyways let me get the whole trip let me get into the story that I have because I can't just go through the whole trip it was fucking two weeks long oh this is what I forgot this is why you take notes okay so it takes fucking 40 minutes to get out of a story I almost feel like I'm gonna miss my flight I get to Lufthansa like the heist yes Jimmy to something stole my truck I get

there and it's like this it's crazy because you're I'm used to this Delta I like my airline my terminal but this is the international terminal is it's Lufthansa I got the thing on the app I downloaded the app I get in line I'm business class so it's a shorter line I wait in lines quite a bit though these international flights they're huge planes there's a ton of people oh yeah big plane I wait about 15 minutes and I'm worried because I had all this traffic so I'm a little stressed I get up there I scan the thing it goes boop no big red X comes up and it's a big you know MOOC fucking idiot TSA guy he goes

doesn't work got to go get a paper ticket oh this is why I get the paper I go what what what do you mean paper ticket I'm like I'm not I am serious he's like we've had trouble all day with the phone you got to go back no shit it wasn't the guy yet there's a lot happening here it's a woman and she goes now it's been happening all day I'm really sorry and I'm like so what do I do she was you can just come back to the front of the line I go okay so how do I do that do I get a pass she's like no just tell him I go wait I'm just gonna tell people that I got to go in front of them that doesn't work she was yeah yeah just go do it so

I go all right fine fucks now I got my suitcase I got a shuffle past everybody who's in line and they're annoyed because they're like why are you going against the grain excuse me excuse me sorry excuse me back through this whole line I go over to lift tons of that line is huge I grab a lady I go how do I get a paper ticket I gotta get up there my things not working and I don't know what to do they said the phones that goes yeah the phone tickets aren't working I'm like well why don't you have a sign before if everybody knows this yes put a sign that says hey mobile tickets aren't working paper money so fortunately I got

the bills bills so fortunately I get I'm business class I get to cut most of the big line I go up I go hey I need a paper ticket my things not working God gives me a paper ticket okay I come back around I go can I go to the front of the lines I said I could she goes yeah sure and I go well can you take me she goes no no just tell people I'm not just telling people I get to go past that's insane insanity we're living a society so I go fuck it I'll just wait in the security line again so I wait another 10 minutes I get to the thing here comes the big MOOC scan the paper ticket sorry doesn't work it's not scanning I go are

you fucking kidding me I'm like I'm sorry pardon my language he goes it's not my fault bro I go I know it's not your fault you're right I'm sorry but who how am I gonna get in there I have to get in there like my fly I have a flight to fucking Italy yes I got a I got a 10 day 9 country trip why isn't my ticket working I have a paper ticket he goes where'd you get it I got it fucking CVS what are you talking about where I get it I made it at home right you're talking about get from the ticket guy he goes what doesn't work you got to go get another ticket and I go well how do I know that tickets gonna work I scan my phone he

was mobile's not working I go so you're telling me I gotta go back out there he goes that's what I'm telling you dude and I understand like he's fucking mad it's not his fault blah blah blah so I go alright so I gotta go back through the whole line again excuse me pardon me scummy I go I go back to the thing I'm frantic yes I go someone's gonna take me through the line I need a ticket I need it now this ticket doesn't work take this one stick it up your ass take my mobile stick up your sister's ass I need a ticket ticket so all they do is just print me another ticket I go how do I know this is gonna work they go well

they're shrugging they're all looking at each other oh my god so I go back through again I wait in line again a third time is anal and I go you gotta let me through here like this ticket doesn't work I don't know what to do and some lady goes why don't you just go ahead of me and I go I will thank you I appreciate it I go I've been here three times I'm fucking losing my man I'm usually pretty cool and collected yeah relatively yeah cucumber finally it scans I go through I get in security I wait to security and I like a little time over there to kind of fart around buy some stuff I had no time they're already boarding but I bored

first some business class that was that story wow Jesus what an epic tale it was quite a situation I don't know maybe it stinks maybe the whole podcast stinks I hate myself hey we got an ad oh Jesus H it's all about internet privacy being dead we are Tuesdays with stories and we are sponsored by Express VPN that's right Express VPN did you know that the United Kingdom government passed the law requiring you to hand over your ID before you can access porn sites did you know no I don't like that I don't want them seeing with the port I look at it's crazy and what happens when your

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VPN dot com slash Tuesdays for three months free when you buy a one-year package what a steal visit Express VPN dot com slash Tuesdays to learn more yes express VPN dot com slash Tuesdays here here all right so anyways wow I got finally got all the way out there and they always kind of find the flight turn it thought I was German she came up to me so it was like and I was like oh I'm sorry I don't speak she goes all your names show list I thought you were German sweet so it is German that's a German name yeah what the hell's the list Schindler but I'll tell you I don't want to get ahead of myself but when I was in

Auschwitz with someone said we're saying wrong I don't know how you say it Auschwitz Auschwitz Auschwitz sounds nice oh yeah I posted a whole thing of like Auschwitz and oh how have you fucking say this crazy death can this guy run you still pronouncing it wrong and I'm like yeah that's what I went there I went there to do I went there to figure out how to fucking I'm like I'm a little fucking moved right now I'm not worried about the fucking dumb enunciation I'm saying it the way everyone I've ever met says it you fuck anyways there was there was a Joseph List in there there was a whole page of

lists maybe one I might have to do 23 of me I think it might be a big heave yeah maybe there's a whole page of Holocaust victims named Joseph list including a Joseph spelt the same way wow there's also a Sarah list and a step list now let me ask you how's the the silent re over there you got to go out with these Jews and these cats that you're eating reindeer and whatnot I mean the menu can't be that helpful can you hear it in my voice I'm a little horse yeah it feels a little horsey not great I don't know I'm pretty good all right I felt so good before now I feel like I'm stinking it up no no no stink I felt great I think

what's happening I'm changing in a negative way for comedy I've never felt better in my life I'm all happy comes time to podcast I go how's great it was all great I loved it right it's all I need some horrible things to happen I guess no no this is that you're in fucking Frankfurt you're getting blown in we want to hear about it well how about this I go to Milan I go to the pool we're staying at a swanky hotels now I couldn't do grief they went to Greece first I couldn't do Greece though doing Gotham I said I'll have to meet you because I got Gotham over here and so the tour is Louis Keith Robinson Greg Han and these

are these are some of the best guys on the planet good group Keith Robinson is just an amazing hang great hang keeps it going he knows how he's like a black belt and hanging he's so he's got a black face too he's just a great and he's hung great guy hilarious and he's got no anxiety zero anxiety whatsoever he had a stroke he can't use the right side of his face he's got his off dominant hand he never complained one time with a complete opposite right I had the shits for three days I was sobbing about it I kept telling everyone I bought drugs the whole thing he just doesn't even care he walks right through the whole life he's

just glowing through life he's old school he's hilarious to such a great hang and just a smart guy we had some complex conversations about race and comedy the other thing he's genuine and he keeps it real and he's completely on the side of comedy yes you never have to go was keep he was being phony back there you never think that now he says he means he's the real deal and Greg Han also check him out h a and h he's just a big cook big cook of a guy he's like six five he's an ex marine and he's got a real high energy cookie act he's a lace pure funny he's one of these guys that's just hilarious guy he had me

howling laughing yeah both guy I mean we laughed our asses off for two weeks I mean one of the best hangs every day and it was one of those ones laid back we were like you want to have dinner here let's just we'll meet for dinner in ten minutes we'll all go jerk off come back I love it beautiful hang beautiful time I get to Milan now I'm the first one there they're still in Greece so I'm there at eight in the morning five-star hotel the whole thing I go up to the pool I'm gonna go take a swim and a steam on no sleep I get to the pool now this is cookie wait where are we Milan Milan got it got it well you had a long journey

from Milan to Minsk Russia Russia something something when the naysay is made you picked up the pace you said nothing's gonna stop me so get out of my face having adventures all over the place you are so freaking talented all right I'm losing my voice I'm losing my train of thought and I'm gay you're on a steam you're on an anal and you got no sleep I go to the pool this one I think you're gonna like this I get in there it's one of these ones at the pools like a everlasting pool infinity infinity I don't know if it's infinity it's just one of the ones with the waters at the level of the ground I like that and the

hot tub meniscus sure and it's just isn't in your knee is not a knee thing I tore my meniscus oh shit that's your knee eucalyptus wait a minute Kevin Eucalyptus ah Johnny United United oh shit eucalyptus eulipsis eulipsis elliptical elices that's Grant wait a minute beard I think it's meniscus now you might that's a knee situation what's the edge of the cup with the water when it's flush I don't know this cup call in if you know sippy cup all right keep going d cup c cup double D oh anyways so I get to the pool it's one of those ones of the the whole skyline is there big pool there's a lady in the water oh boy it's

not we were just you and a woman in the pool that's a movie by the way what lady in the pool a lady in the water well this ladies in the water she's got a bright red bikini two piece big perfectly round moist tits oh boy blonde hair all wet slick back and she's doing some kind of rehab that thing free where she's in front of a jet and she's doing that I'm gonna act it out for you patreon people please she's doing a she's doing this oh come on I swear to God she's like shifting her hips into the thing like she like she's doing some kind of back like she tore her back and it's just me and her and I gotta like be like I

wanted to just burst out laughing this is hilarious I'm in Milan she's way steep in water zero percent body fat huge cans and just oh my like fuck it she's miming fucking it looked like she had a fuck machine underneath she's just like doing this and like making a face like a like eyes closed like and then she would do a thing so I have to get in the pool I'm like giggling this is a scene out of vacation it's like a point it's exactly what it felt like the red bikini and like hot and Italian oh so I get into the water and I'm like I'm kind of like just giggling swimming and I'm like I don't I'm trying to act normal

I'm like I'll just swim my laps but I'm swimming my laps like down to her and she's that then she's like switching positions she has two hands on the edge just doing like a oh it's ridiculous and then she does a thing after like a few minutes of that she would jog down to the other end of the pool while spinning like a spinning job like it looked like she like I said she was rehabilitating like a leg or a miskis or something but she's doing a prancey spin skip and I got no I can't see anything without my glasses so it's it's a moment it's the only time I ever want to have eye surgery yes so I can look at her

rehabilitating big titted Italian lady in a pool yeah good call that'd be a great brochure for Lasik it's not bad it's a good commercial but so she goes back and then she would do more of it and then eventually she got out and just like you know towel off whatever but I'm like this is a hilarious start to a trip it's also one of those ones where you're like I wish any one person was here to see this I'll get a photo but not like a weirdo because those three guys arrive and Greg Hanham meeting for the first time but I'm like there was a lady doing this weird thing and he's like what I just met him so he's a weird perv but I'm

like that was crazy that is always a weird thing when you meet a guy you're like how pervy can I get out of the gate yeah we're clearly both pervs because we have testicles with friends with Louie yeah but yeah you never know like can I perv out immediately because I did it once and the guy ratted on me hmm I talked about you see that girl down there well and the guy was like oh yeah yeah yeah then he told this guy later and this girl like met this guy when immediately talking to this girl states and they told me and I was like oh fuck this guy god jeez yeah that's rough when you're like you have to feel people out because

some guys aren't like hey look at that exactly they don't have that they don't like it or they pretend to not have that yeah maybe or they're just dead inside something's up how about this let me ask you this I went and got a massage in one of the places Romania I'm gonna have to just slowly trickle into some of these stories dick trickle I'm in Romania and I mean I'm sore we've been traveling I'm walking and then I went to Auschwitz yeah get into another time but off switch come back from there and you know I'm all stressed so I get a massage I'm gonna massage and I wasn't in Romania I was in Poland because that's where

Auschwitz is how many people have ever gone to a concentration camp and then gotten a massage later the same day oh yeah a bunch but not that many now definitely not a Jew but anyways I came back I got the massage but and I've never get massaged only people touching me but my Adam's apple and you know about Adam's apple problems oh yeah my Adam's apple is resting on the massage table is that normal no no because I had my head in the head hole yeah but my Adam's apple it was pushing in oh that's bad and all I can think about was these movies with the Marines go like John and they fucking kill you and she

kept kneading me like kneeling in it was pushing my Adam's apple it ruined the whole massage of course 30 minutes I was like I think my Adam's apple is displaced and it actually hurt it was like sore huh yeah I didn't like it so I googled Adam's apple massage after I was freaking out yeah and I'll tell you what comes up everyone go home do an experiment Google Adam's apple massage what comes up is a gay parlor in Indonesia it's called Adam's apple massage I like it gay gay massage parlor AM so now I look gay Adam and Eve not Steve all right you gotta take over my throat hurts I got nothing how's your

Adam's apple it's not good I'm still not a hundred percent wow well what you just got a massage I don't feel like you're a massage type I know but I was sore and we were traveling and sleeping and it was there so I was like let me just get it all right well I want you want to talk about how the the New York comedy scene is in a frenzy I feel like we're in a big boom baby a boom boom yeah first of all the stand is opened they had a big opening party everybody's there was such a fun night it pours out into the street it's right on 15th Street 16th Street right in Union Square whatever Ari shows up with the wacky suit as you

do and the honest and me are talking and DeRosa's back in town and we get just a good group and a hang we're all yuck it up laughing pushing each other in the bushes and just then you're like oh you're on they're doing a show down like a marathon show so you run down you do a set sold out main room it's 200 people in there you're I love that we call it the main room feels cool and you go down you do your set you rip it open you run back up you go back and you got a free cocktail it's a great time and then you run out of there and go do a seller set and it's all fun yes good times you got your crew you got your comedy we are in

a boom and then before you know it the seller show is back on live this week at the comedy cell oh yes the TV the TV show so now you're writing bits and bads for the show and you're zinging and zanging you're running from the stand in New York comedy club back to the seller back to the stand it's back baby the whole scene is back all these other clubs are there there are satellites now these I feel like that's the trifecta that the New York the seller the stand and the stand is so pretty and it's well done it's illuminated and stylish and gay and the seller show so I'm on the seller show the next night so I really wrote I wrote

for like two days I pulled a maril and just hunkered down you were gone turn the lights out put on a candle at a miner's hat and just started writing all these topical jokes sure I go do it I go like third four have a sweet spot on the show the crowd is hot everybody's killing I had the set of my life wow new material you know you're nervous about the new you ever have that thing I think you had this with Letterman I was just not nervous I was like I got this sure and I went up and I ripped it and I got two jokes on the show the first night and I just had a great time then you run out of there I ran into the Jewish gig bomb

temple gig oh wow Brutal is at the Harmony Club on 60th and six or some it's like chandeliers and all the everybody's in a tuxedo the youngest guy there was 80 well they can be Temple mental aha that's true Temple mental clock it so yeah we just it was me Emmy Blotnick and the stone and stone hosted oh they're fun not like those guys yeah so Greg and Joe I go on and they're like you got to do 20 I was like all right I go on nothing worked bombing you got to change everything you're like do you guys know uber you're super old you know about uber jubber yeah they didn't know about anything I had a joke about like getting

like dating apps they don't know anything about that just old guy one of guys sitting there they they don't care about what they what you what you think so he's just going oh geez front row loose pants he's got a stroke cane next to him just oh a loose pants no good brutal brutal brutal bombing you you get your check you get out of there you go back to the cellar to do I did the what do you call it with the table the video oh I hate the table part table wasn't great it's never great you know they try to reenact like a live hang like a tough crowd but they just put people together that don't belong they made me me and

Sarah do it together but we're just like a husband wife chat or something and it's so inauthentic you're trying to be bitty and riffy but you're trying to look natural at the same time but I had Dan Natterman and Jessica Kirsten oh that's fun so I love both of them they're both killer comics but me and Kirsten were are so dark we like a good abortion line a good miscarriage a good Holocaust and he's not into that he's very like prim and proper like well you know what I think is you guys are a little over the line here yeah you're killing us Danny but we had a good time and that's just I don't know that's all I wanted to get into

this episode stinks I suck so the next night this is where comedy is at we get a text I run a show at New York comedy club called hot soup every Wednesday Blake Griffin wants to go on oh I know he texted our booker and a book is like what do you think and I go well put him on just because he'll tweet out it will sell out the show and I gotta tell you he went on I had to follow him and he went on the place is sold out is like 38 20 year old Jewish kids in there look like a fucking bar mitzvah they're all wearing jerseys and they're the Blake hats and everything a little triangular flags I had to follow Patrick Ewing at

New York comedy club better than Magic Johnson Luke Longley was at the stand yeah it's Stockton so he steals sorry I felt happy about that one I liked it all-time leader yeah we're back yeah so Blake Griffin goes on every girl the room is just creaming you know he's 612 whatever the hell he is is that hot oh he's a hunk he looks half retarded he isn't there too tall ladies isn't there a thing that I think I'm it by the way I'm too tall no no no long I am you're right look at this you're lanky and gay no one's into that he here's what he is he's you know the big titted Pamela Anderson of men oh I see he's a Barbie

doll I see okay he's the he's a bim he's a membo a male bimbo but I just think I if I was a girl I mean I'm half gay evidently because I look at like Dwight Howard I'm like his shoulders are too big I don't know how he came out of a cervix you need give me like a late like a Steve Nash or something and he's a little ugly but yeah he's not a got a bad mug maybe Pippin or something bird is a he's a gargoyle as well oh one of the worst mustaches in history was that a stash he had a stash cheetos are something up there yeah so either way Blake goes on and I gotta tell you I don't know you know he wrote it if I wrote

it if if Don Rickles wrote it or whoever wrote it but he had bits really and he had solid timing and he got heckled at one point and he he retorted and it killed well I mean I love to stand corrected but I just think I don't know if he's running the triangle offense during the day I don't know how he's writing jokes at night well here's the thing to you gotta realize he's a smart guy he's mixed to whatever he's fusion half black half white that makes you smart well I think you grow up and you kind of have to deal with that like people say dumb shit or they ask you question what are you what do you look

like I think it makes you a little more aware okay and he's like a freakishly tall so he's had some he's had some resistance or something yes some hard ships sure hard ships about that he's got a he's got a pretty good life but either way he was talking shit about the other players and saying this about LeBron and you're like oh you get it so he went up and you know he's got the well the well dressed and he's quaffed and here's the thing yeah he's 610 but he's also a zillionaire right so like he's got everything that the ladies want a huge dog he's rich he's stylish he's kind of ethnic and fun so he goes up he's

pretty good and we light him and he goes oh I got the light I gotta get out of here like he respected oh wow that's nice gonna be some hot shot zillionaire you know NBA cunt who ran the light and did whatever he wanted but now he respected okay sounds like he's a nice guy I gotta come around on him he watched all the sets complimented made notes did this did that hung out throughout the whole show and could have been nicer that's nice so I'm not saying he's the next carlin but he's trying I think I just resent these people that are dabbling into comedy like he has a job I get a full-time basketball player yes Chris Katan can suck my

asshole sure Tom Green I'm if he on Steve oh can blow me I hate these guys Steve oh he's got a I went and saw me he's balancing a seal off his dick okay all right well I mean yeah I get nervous about I don't think people can just pop in I agree he's on the show he's done what nine sets but he's a basketball player so he gets to be on the show it seems a little fishy I am not crazy about it either but he sold out the room and the crowd they care like I had to go on after him to be like all right you twats listen to me now I actually know how to do this and I'm trying and he doesn't need this and I do here's what

it is I think I'd respect it more if one of these ex Jake the snake Roberts or whatever went to an open mic like he just got to go straight to the funny bone all he's a headline right Blake Griffin's on at the cellar why don't you go to the fucking Village Lantern take your name out of a hat or whatever the fuck well yeah they get the perks they can skip the line all right Perkis that's yeah so you know I had to follow me it's just a weird thing you're like this this is this is where my life is I'm following Blake Griffin how about it's exciting though it's exciting so then I popped down to Kansas City

barbecue yeah I've been down to Kansas City going to Kansas City sucking my own dick that's the lyric so do the improv there great improv feels like one of those like mom and pop improv really yeah it felt very like this disconnected from the chain and sure it's in the mall and all that but like had a good opener this guy cliff cash I don't cliff cash cool dude we hung out the whole weekend we got barbecue we went out one night had one of those like epic benders you know like just start drinking tequila at the club then you go to the sports bar with the with the college kids and you go I

know a place by the time four o'clock a.m. ran around it was raining and the guy opening goes a I know a jazz bar that opens at four what closes at 1 p.m. we're like let's go it's called the foundation wow we're over there in the rain we're all wet and drunk and silly and we get in there it's just a bunch of white drunk dudes like from I don't know with boat shoes and salmon shorts they just want to keep drinking and there's a jazz band upstairs popping some coal train shucking and jiving they got skewers and barbecue and whatnot in there we did it up I fell I went to I went home at 6 a.m. 8 a.m. woke up at 4 we got barbecue at

Arthur Blake's something like that I could play different and just I ate my asshole out of my my own jizz and a pork but I ate my weight in pork and had some great sets and work I'm working out some new fun fun time when you're working out new feels good yes so Kansas City was a treat folks this episode is also brought to you by upstart as most of us have found out the hard way getting into debt is easy getting out of it is hard especially if your f. i. c. o. score isn't great fight go thankfully is that what it is yeah I don't know anything about anything thankfully now this upstart dot com the revolutionary lending

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Bulgaria I never even I don't know anything about Bulgaria Romania I know Samona Halop the tennis player that I love and I know like that's Transylvania that's that's where we were we were in Transylvania which is in Romania okay we were in Cluj or whatever lose and Chow Chescu I remember that from Seinfeld remember he dates the Romanian gymnast that's right the be like to keep the tape yes he was not a good dictator but anyways we go to Romania and then Poland by the way was off the hook do you say hey off the chain we went to Warsaw which was fun and I had to have some pot I went to how

about this we're in Milan and I was like I gotta have some Italian food I haven't had it in five months like my throat's all fucked up but I gotta do it I'm in Italy are you seeing sites of course yeah we went everywhere I mean I went everywhere but we go to Milan we went sightseeing Louie and I went to some he's like I want to see some Leonardo DiCaprio not DiCaprio who's the other Leonardo da Vinci yes it's funny they both duh Leonardo Leonardo duh no duh there's a dough and a DA back-to-back yeah Leonardo da Vinci Leonardo da Caprio there you go this is one of the worst episodes I've ever had you're

doing great I don't know I think you're bringing me down I think I might be no joke I was just in I'm damn in too good of a space tomorrow's gonna be better we record tomorrow so next week is gonna be hot we're gonna warm up a little bit we're sorry I'm all fucked up I went to bed at 10 45 p.m. last night that's cookie woke up at 7 today I've been up since 7 a.m. huh I'm one of these people now I got 10 wake up at 7 hear that guy I was at the gym at 8 o'clock this morning wow cookie what are you doing synchronized swimming I don't even know really you're up there with the old people you're doing like the weird band

stretching headband on the ball yeah I like those balls balls to anyways where we go to Milan we go to eat at Italian they're like this is the best family owned restaurant in all of Milan so we're like let's go there they stay open late for us the restaurant is called DiCi or beachy B I C E it's the restaurant that George Shapiro takes orney to in the movie comedian over priced over hyped over everything bring it on so we go there I'm like why do I know this logo from like is there one of these in New York they used to be it's closed now right because they trashed it on comedian but we were there we went to

that restaurant I did that exact line but it's the original one family owned and operated they still been late just for us they made us the pasta some crazy dish I haven't had Italian food since the 50s sure delicious great time we take off we go over to Warsaw Poland which is a kooky town because the Nazis destroyed everything 99% of the buildings the whole thing so it's all rebuilt up to made to look old so you look at you like this is an amazing city but you're like oh it's all built in 1948 because the Nazis really did a number on those pollocks but they try to keep the look yeah they rebuilt the look but

that was fine I'll get into I'll switch the next week episode but this is a fun one we go out in Romania and you just get kooky you're starting to get tired and you're doing all this travel but you're all together me and Keith and Greg and Louie and one of the nights we're out walking around in Bulgaria wow this is bananas and there's a comedy club there Sophia Bulgaria there's a group of comics that just started a comedy scene there should be a documentary they're the only calm is like nine of them it's been going on for like five years they opened a comedy club we went and visited they were all thrilled wow

we all took turns getting on stage it was after the show had ended we're just us it's like the four of us and like the five of them whoa we all went on stage you just got kooky together like great I keep just hosted a show he's a ladies gentlemen he's talking to literally the four of us ladies gentlemen he's been on the tight show he's got a big dick he's got herpes Joe list I came up and I told her I was like how many sconces to take to stink up a room a few and then they're booing me and stuff I go back to Keith Robinson he brings out Greg he brings out Louie and Louie just starts saying weird shit and then he brings out

the local comics they don't know what to do this is magical good hey everyone had drinks we sat in the club it was really I was quite a thrill for them and it was fun for us then we go out we're just in silly moods so we walk by we start talking about planking and then Louie's like what's the plan who planks whatever I go we're talking about who can plank the longest then Greg Han goes I'll plank for five minutes he's nine years old as a marine so you know I go there's no chance you're planking for five minutes he goes I'll do it right now 59 so then he gets down to plank and Louie goes I'll outplay I can help

plank you I go I don't think that so we get down we're mill in the street it's Greg 59 year old Greg Han and social pariah fucking Louie CK a planking and this is no booze involved this is now no one's drinking wow we're in Bulgaria and all these Bulgarians type goals is this and I'm filming things and they're just sitting there planking they're shaking and like you know Louie's fat the whole thing right and there's like a crowd of people gather around Keith's just go on look at these motherfucking whatever it's saying this thing and he's job can't stop laughing and I'm counting down like 150 two minutes two

fifty up to two minutes and 17 seconds Louie bailed and then what's Louie bail he's like I'm bailing if he's bailing and I was like I knew it so then I'm like all right well I'm gonna beat to 17 yeah so I get down there they're all cheering me on they're all calling you know Keith's like he's shaking he's shaking like a little bit the whole thing and Louie's like there's no way he's gonna met they're taking bets Louie's like he's he'll make it Louie's nice as he knows me yeah like there's no way I'm not gonna beat these guys this is amazing it was pretty fun we got to 218 and I tell you I was shaking like

fucking Ali and finally I was like all right 282 I won and poor Greg I feel bad cuz he could have gone longer but he's like now he's just second place but I'm like we're not doing it again we got to move on then we walk a couple blocks and now there's like some you know hip nightclub thing and the music's blasting out so like Louie just starts dancing I start we all just start dancing you know we have a big dance party out there and I take my shirt off I'm like doing the floss and your asshole with the shirt yeah I was thinking how funny would be if it was one of the people that you know people really some people hate Louie

sure it's gonna be such a funny time to come recognize them we're like yeah we destroyed him he's out and he's just doing the running man but lunch anyways I understand people hate him and I apologize if you hate me because of it well grow up well what a treat this is the kind of the beauty of travel I feel like it kind of it makes you come out of your anal your shell a little bit you gotta get goofy and loose and you're all you're in the middle of nowhere there's no you don't know anybody it lets you get off the cuff well it was a great hags and just like it was one of those ones where we talk about comedians it

just take traveling with someone really brings you together yes because you're spending all day you're all stressed you're all trying to get there the shows are interesting the shows are weird and there's so much downtime right the hour that he's on stage me Keith and Greg are just getting to know each other and there's two shows a night so it's two hours a night and just chatting plus all the travel the train rides so after like ten days you're like I love you guys right I'm gonna love you guys like I'm like I'm gonna miss you I'm getting emotional and it's like you it's a nice way to become like close with somebody

we're like I feel like I'm close friends with these people completely same with Montreal and the weekend there you're like you're hanging out with people you're like all right we're fucking friends this is like it's nice I love you and you just want to say like I fucking love you I love hanging out with you the phone probably isn't cooking too much so you're not really on that as much no and no one's really on there from there like old asshole I mean Keith talk checks in or he's like a real mentor to people he checks in with all those guys yeah he's a special guy but then this is the funnest moment and we're gonna wrap it

we're at an hour already but we're walking Louie and I we're always walking ahead of Keith because he's got a fucking stroke he walks like he's dragging his foot like Frankenstein yeah yeah so Greg's a sweet guy he's a Marine so he just keeps walking because Louie and I after a while you're like I gotta just walk a normal pace here so they're like 20 feet back we're walking Louie and I and there's like a little nook in the city and I I'm walking and there's a homeless guy just standing there like well it's like a haunted house like a whoa I didn't know he was there because he's just standing like just behind a

corner scared the fuck out of me and I was like oh sorry sir so we walk about 10 feet and I'm like let's stop and watch them when they realize this guy it's like a haunted house scene wow so we stop we turn and Keith and Greg are walking they're just being goofballs and I'm like this is gonna be funny when they notice him for whatever reason they stop right in front of the homeless guy they don't notice him and there's music playing across the street so Keith he's just starts dancing again he's doing this like cookie dance like he's getting really into it yeah now Greg notices them we know that there's a homeless guy

stand there and Greg just goes hey Keith take a look to your right and Keith looks and there's a homeless guy like all disheveled and fuck up who on his face yeah and he just looks up at this American black guy do it like just dancing his ass off and he's like I'm sorry brother and then he's like does anyone have any money and so we had to come down and give him like a $50 bill and whatever that thing but it was pretty pretty fun one of those things that's way funnier with you there all in my head with the cobblestones the old buildings of the Poland this is great cobblestones in my throat you got that

right anyways it was a special time I'm sorry about this episode I feel like I brought you down I stunk and oh no that was good I'm in good in there I mean I need some turmoil I'm too happy and right now that's good the people want you to be happy well I'll be funnier next time but hey I got serious dates coming up I gotta plug some of these dates I like I prefer prunes I hope we're not one of these podcasts where people stop listening when we plug the dates oh we want you to come see us some people plug in the beginning I've known we should start doing that well tonight I'm at the comedy cellar 10 p.m. I got big

dick Rogers on the show Caitlyn new hairdo Palufo and it's gonna be fun so come out 10 p.m. comedy cellar this weekend side splitters Thursday Friday Saturday me and Kit and Orlando on Wednesday get me up for the details I forget the name of the goddamn Mar he's gonna be mad it comes up tomorrow yeah oh boy all right yeah so Wednesday Orlando Thursday Friday Saturday side splitters next weekend Denver comedy works August 8th 9th and 10th come out to that one please for the love of God if you're listening come to the shows and then act me in Minneapolis you know I need you August 15 16 17 and so ho theater

in London August 30th and 31st these are big shows please come out I also have Omaha coming up in Albany coming up Burlington Vermont I think is in October and Laugh Boston Thanksgiving weekend I want to make that a big one so come out to that and boy big dates yeah a lot of big dates comedian Joe list dot com I'm out of energy my throat hurts I don't know what to do with my life all right I'm all over the road this weekend who ha ha which is about an hour from mass I mean I'm from Boston less about 45 45 minutes make the drive all the bean town folks keep hitting me up this is close enough I hear it's a cool room

never been excited gonna get a rental car head on up then I'm at the rooster tee feathers oh I love that club that'll be fun love that room love that area just a nice sunny bright area sunny day Charlotte comedy zone with my fat Crissel Indianapolis helium comedy club all you indie cunts let's hug it out Denver comedy works right on the heels of old silent re going out to LA land doing La Jolla comedy store I'm gonna do a couple of big podcasts if you know what I mean that's exciting and hopefully that will help this one punch line Sacramento California Dallas Texas at the Addison improv with Chris

L. I believe and then Chessening what bully the bull fat bull E Austin comedy club cap city ACME and mini app and Spokane Tacoma Roar and Springfield Bass and Roar and who ha ha yeah that's interesting too close they seem close oh god well they're months apart side putters in Tampa Tampa Tampa then we're at the Santa Ana casino right outside of Albuquerque doing a live power doing some stand-up Portland helium I'm running some hours at the dead crow and the blue room you heard about this blue room think I'm doing that in Missouri yes yeah I'm doing that too at some point Sam just did it was raving

oh really yeah I'll be there too I gotta I gotta bring all my dates I don't know what I'm doing I gotta I mean this is what the thing is with me right now I did 14 days just for laughs the tour with Louis I'm burnt out I took Sunday and Monday off I'm trying to be off right now right tomorrow I'm back to work next week's episode was gonna be great yeah but I'm unplugged right now I'm done for you're like Nirvana I got nothing you're unplugged so yeah thanks for listening get on the Patreon tell a friend it's growing we're growing my dick's a grower not a shower praise Allah buy a shirt merch pump is still out

there Chipotle he can't have it Uber we love we'll see on the road part wait thank you