Tuesdays with Stories! - #339 Cuban Standoff

Episode Date: March 3, 2020

It's a hum dinger of an ep this week folks as Mark gets fat and yells at hecklers in Michigan while Joe eats well in Tucson before dealing with the ups and downs of traveling in Cuba. Check it out! Sponsored by: BlueChew (bluechew.com code: tuesdays) & Away Travel (awaytravel.com/tuesdays20) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show, bonus eps, and all of our pre-2017 episodes www.patreon.com/tuesdays Get our new T-Shirts right here baby! https://remember2behappy.com/twsshop

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be chasing hi hello

also told me a story about David Wayne was on SNL did you know that Wayne's yeah way ins way ins way ins David way ins all right way ins the way it's really got away and the welter heavy I think I put a cell I put a slight syllable way and I didn't get all a and there's a way in it doesn't you had Wayne's world like David Wayne way I'm

saying it fast and way ins there is all right all right way ins yes but he was on SNL you know that like a cast or he was a featured player I think I did for like 10 minutes I think he was on for 10 minutes well this is the story I heard was that he was on as like a featured player he would just be a guy that would come in and say all your orders ready like one of those guys that they don't use right and I guess he was on air maybe you could Google this or YouTube it but he was on

air and he was supposed to say you know go get me the keys he was just a background character and he walked up and said go get me the keys and did like a gay character and then they fired on the like you can't just do a character you can't just throw something out there in an improv or a sketch show I mean it makes sense because it now it's like now you're a gay guy so do we go with that or but he could just be a gay character yeah he was but I think the thing was it's like hey this is a live sketch show we're on TV you can't just throw a wrench in there I see a gay wrench and then he wasn't doing it they hated him

anyways I guess again yeah yeah maybe they did it you know Anthony Michael Hall was on there Julie Louie Dreyfus Robert Downey Jr. was a cast member yeah nobody talks about that it's weird Leonard Nimoy yeah 83 fuck yep wow now that one I made up but I didn't seem like a humorous cat I wanted to list a few people it's also funny because he was like 68 in 1983 big Jew oh no kidding oh that's right he died a few weeks ago years ago Holocaust no oh you know William Shatter's a Jew as well did you know that wow a lot of space Jews yeah you don't think of that yeah yeah wow the Sabbath the final frontier beat me up

Jewy slow mo I couldn't think of anything fun yeah yeah Jews you know eventually we're gonna have to stop all the racial humor just gonna have to be straight vanilla I can't we're just gonna have to come out and say I was on an airplane everybody looked the same they were all very nice and maybe we should try it we'll do like a two minutes of just straight non-offensive PC squeaky I think we managed to squeeze in a few minutes if you don't count the sex stuff right because that's not offensive you that's the one area where we're still okay it's true you could say jizz and common farts and tits and

bag ah shit you can't do that one damn it it's funny how that works that I did a set the other night and I did all this holding about a guy getting killed and shot in the face and you know murder and then I did a black joke we're like whoa and you're like is that weird that black people make you more uncomfortable than all kinds of violence and murder and rape and all this shit well there's specifically there could be black people in the audience but there's no murdered people so but their cousin could be murdered and they could be a murderer if they're black their cousin probably was murdered that's the case they gave

me we're having fun fun everyone know everybody know I look at it like a little oh sorry oh that's alright I look at it like a little hot sauce you know I mean we're comics we say a lot of words the fun stuff the edgy the offensive it's a little hot sauce on the sentence gives you a kick yeah exactly you're there's burritos and this is a spicy burrito yeah you go you'll you're gonna bleed out of your asshole a little bit but at least a little give you a little feeling going down from Chipotle why I always look at the podcast like your bit about the speakeasy there you go we come on in you hear some crazy shit and then you

move on with your day yeah if you don't want to hear the crazy shit don't come into the bar yeah don't come here but eventually someone's gonna take this and stick it up my ass out in the public and people are gonna go whoa whoa whoa what exactly exactly that's why I think maybe we should put the thing at the beginning the little thing oh hey this is Mark and Joe we're gonna say crazy shit and if you don't like it don't listen then we can say we got a warning well just claim her yes I like it I'll claim some jizz in my day sure you got to claim it yeah that's mine or else they'll take it to customs it wasn't my

but then I took it you know I just said shoot that out of your ballbag and into my face right or tits oh wait did you claim it like taxes you got it in that way what is claiming anything with tax taxes claiming API I don't know any of that shit anytime I hear that stuff I just shut down well API I'd never heard of that that sounds like a conference in college basketball but approved price interest something like that I always remember them saying no COD's and I still don't know what that is cash on delivery oh is that right I think I just made that up what it because what would that mean no COD remember that was like

every commercial when we were kids yeah would say you know 10 CDs for what I bit my tongue which is weird that's a bitch yeah yeah that's when you have bad teeth I'm like I'm just gnawing on my own tongue with a sentence you got a mouthful of jagged rocks it's not good it's a pet cemetery we still got quite a wheeze there yeah I got that they flew it's all jizzy in here I see him and I'm coughing like a like a hyena well oh jeez you gotta do with the elbow sorry that's how I get corona I'm gonna be covered in lime sauce I'll get a I'll get a mask oh yeah I might get one of those for my teeth just pretend I'm doing it for the germs

but I don't want women to see my horrificness maybe a dental dam now that's for eating asshole oh interesting maybe I'll get one of those then hey that's actually a pretty good idea because I like eating ass but maybe you don't want to stick your tongue in poo because you can get dysentery so you get a dental right right yeah like no one ever talks about dental dams for the ass good point that'd be more of a dental bridge maybe yeah hmm yeah get an asshole damn what are you putting mud I think you can use maybe a dental boot you know you're stepping on a muddy muddy river with a like a waiter and a boot

right I see a steel-toed dental dam like a boot stuck in mud only wetter that's David tell yeah man I was just in Phoenix a tell was there Bill Maher and Louie all and David tell had Louie Katz opening for him so it was Bill Maher Louie Katz David tell Louie CK I was the only non-Jew yeah that's really something CK ain't a big Jew he's a Jew he's Jewish is he yeah his father's grandfather and father Jew is a Jewish dissension well they just pretended to be Catholics because of the Holocaust yeah a whole bit about it I'm not a fan anymore yeah that's where he loses you yeah yeah but yeah it was the whole gang and I got

excited cuz I you know Bill Maher and that's my favorite show of all time the guys like one of my idols so I was excited to meet him even though he's a prickly one always like he won't be prickly if I'm with Louie no Lou no prick but well he's gonna prick but true we've all seen it he he was flying in and out it was like a real in and out he was arriving and then doing the show and leaving so but I got schoolgirlie cuz you don't get to we don't get to schoolgirlie these days many people but Maher I watched the show every week for like ten years wow so I got excited but no no dice little guy I say five seven five eight

where does I write I met him once at the the Tita Barrow no no kidding I was with Schumer he flew in we were flying out and he was all over not not sexually but he was like oh my god Amy I'm a huge fan I love you boy was like when she was really gay day and you know yeah and she was like hey nice to meet you there you know it was she was very like yeah I'm on top motherfucker and we got on our bar jet and skedaddled and that was it but he had a t-shirt on in jeans he looked like a piece of shit yeah well he's not a good-looking fellow what a mug on that he yikes but I also love his book true story one of the great books ever got it

up there somewhere I love that book if you're a comedy fan go check it out if you're a comedian and you haven't read it for the love of Christ on Christmas apparently likes the the hookers oh is that right that's what I hear the hook of the black hook well he's a free-swinging spirit and he's very anti monogamy and the whole thing so yeah hates marriage hates kids okay okay I don't want kids okay that's my mar you better work on that some more okay but anyways we're good weird day we're squeezing it in here I'm home for a day and a half I got home yesterday and I leave again tomorrow it's a tough man tough life and that was a

West Coast flight you just just done well let me tell you this flight this is gonna be like out of order but I had a good I got a lot of travel shit so buckle up for safety yeah so I was in I did five nights with Louis we did Denver then on to Phoenix and then Tucson which he had never worked I had nobody works to son nobody does Tucson and everything I heard about Tucson is it's the school and then meth and they nailed it yeah it's like it's almost like the new Haven of the Southwest oh gross except the school is not as good right the old Haven but I guess a cooler school they got football and nice campus it's warm hot ladies over

there in the in the in the fiend I will tell you what Phoenix is maybe as the young cool kids say the most talented city I mean there yeah I never just did call the women the hot women talent well they're they're cut above you know I guess we don't have talent they got talent that's not a talent they're just attractive it's true they and they tend to be dumb people hot people probably give me a smart hottie oh this smart hot you got Albert Einstein and Tesla they're no prizes well you're talking genius I mean Gary Gullman as one of the smartest people I ever met and he's a very sexy man hot cup and who else what's it's

weird because you don't want to start naming women we know cuz it's like I'm gonna sound like I got a thing for him like she's hot and smart it's gonna sound like I'm trying to fuck her but I'm thinking celebs here so I guess you got Natalie poor she's a hot nerd she went to Harvard yeah she's a Harvard hottie so there you go that's something a lot of people we just claim like I don't think I don't know is Brad Pitt that smart I don't think anyone's claiming he's smart I think people think he's a smart cat I don't know maybe wise I don't know what's smart he's from Oklahoma for God's sakes Missouri no offense I think he was

born in Oklahoma grew up in Missouri how about that yeah I think he's like a little Native American type of guy whoa I made that part up but I can see it hot Native American now they're hot you sprinkle just a little I've seen you sprig a little Choctaw or Sue or Cherokee in there and it's a it's off to the road like Carmen Electra Lenny Kravitz I think it's got a little bit of whoo-whoo in him I guess I mean I don't know feather not dot I spend a lot of time in casinos and this this yuckiness I mean all the photo those old black and white photos with the feathers I don't see anyone in there that I'm like whoa look

at the tits on Gerona her that's true Geronimo looks rough but that's that's the those are the natives I mean those people are getting sunbaked and riding horses into the sunset and eating out buffalo so you're saying like a descent a sprinkle of native oh Liz Warren's not some sexy bombshell she's a liar I think she's like one eight hundredth of a something yeah yeah she's sucks but I don't know I hear she's she seems fun tough lady she did well in that debate yes fine but I don't think she's got any any headdress in her for being honest no I guess not she's Oklahoma her Brad Pitt maybe they fucked yeah they

buried the hatchet should have a plan for it anyways well how do we get here oh Phoenix the women in Phoenix I mean the women in Phoenix my lord I mean it's unreal let me plug a restaurant for no good reason there's a restaurant called steak 44 it's Scottsdale or Phoenix there's like nine cities all on top of each other now there's a block away and how about this the guy at the baseball game we I got a lot of stories I'll get into this out of order but he kept saying Tempe Tempe do you know it's Tempe I asked the crowd there's three thousand people I'm like is it Tempe and they're like Tempe it turned into a big

debate thing but that people like real earnestly like it's Tempe wow yeah it's like Wayans yes it's Tempe Arizona and I'm like fuck you Arizona that's two words Tempe it's it's the dumbest thing I ever heard in my life but whatever city steak 44 is in this is the best food I've ever had in my life all right it's the steakhouse and it goes to show you what presentation does because we kept driving by and he likes a steakhouse I like a steak it had the white Christmas lights year-round in the tree and then it has a valet it just looked sleek and cool I was like we got to go here and a Christmas light in the southeast or

southwest looks so it's kind of fun and kitschy because they don't have a fucking cold weather or Christmas it was very kitschy and I said let's go in there we didn't do any googling any research we just based it off of looks which is how I treat people sure judge and we pulled in and valet and they were like we're sold out and I don't know if we got the Louis treatment or we just got lucky but they're like we can make a table work and they bring the steak out on a plate that's 500 degrees it's sizzling it's kind of biting you because it's sizzles on your ass oh yeah bite me and we had broccoli mashed potato he got a

$115 kai not Kobe kai you what the fuck's it called Kobe's did Kyuga you he's the French guy why you why why go why go why go yeah yeah why go home $115 steak I got a bone in fucking my ass and a steak also and it was like a $400 meal best food I've ever eaten in my entire life and we went there the next day to steak 44 check it out can you tell the difference with is it wagyu wagyu wagyu yes wagyu yeah wagyu my Lego right fuck I go my Jew but yeah is can you tell the difference when you bite into you go this is some waggy shit right here he gave me a P and it's pretty insane it feels like it's melting in your

mouth it's pretty wild but then I feel back because I think it is one of those and I'm no you know wokes or whatever but I think it is similar to veal where it's like they tie up the cow and beat it and come on it and don't let it move I give the cow a bad life then he'll be happy to die I suppose so but I feel it's a little inhumane but whatever I just had a bite and I enjoyed it so it's not a humane it's a cow so fuck it I tried to do that as a bit years ago it never worked yeah people like inhumane I'm like it's a horse it's not humane it never worked if people like oh well you know every time I hear it I think that's

funny yeah I like inhumane like well it's not a humane being yes dog that's funny but maybe it's a little 80s I don't know but you know what I never got when when something bad happens they go oh the humanity like what's wrong with humanity aren't we all in humanity it's just going to work we're getting laid we're eating cheese we're in humanity yeah I don't know what the meaning of that is I just remembered who's a Harry carry Harry carry I think did a call and a guy dropped a fly ball to win the pennant and he went oh the humanity and it was pretty funny funny guy oh very funny I'm gonna pick my nose just a

little bit I got a thing stick it out get it get it don't you hate when you think you got a book the whole time oh that's right have that every set that's the way just doing this for 20s building you're coked out yeah I have that almost every set that's one of my things and the other thing I have is that I'm gonna fall over like I feel like my feet are like a half an inch wide like I'm just gonna like I'm gonna tip over interesting yeah I got some problems yeah just anxiety you ever had the thing where you do an act out you kind of but you gotta play it off oh yeah well the seller has like 90 feet of cord right so

oftentimes I'll step on that or whatever and feel like I'm gonna trip and fall mm-hmm it's weird what's going on your brain throughout these shows oh crazy I always have that thing of like what if I can't talk or form sentence because you're doing this off memory like it's just going right it's just like you're just saying the things and you're like what if I can't it's fucking great your brain goes haywire in the middle of the show yeah it always is fine it's a fight or flight they say and I think getting good at stand-up half of it is just learning how to control and manage that fight or flight yeah in the

beginning you're just like holy shit you know and then after a while you're like yeah well sometimes that pops back in that's true it's like we always talk about when you do TV or whatever even a podcast where you're like I can't do this right it's that thing of like why would I think I can do this oh dude it's insane that's I get that all the time especially now when you sell tickets in this fan like we came all the way from the fucking Oklahoma to see you like what what that's insane and you got to tamp down that part of your brain that's going what the fuck you can't do this you suck at everything your piece of shit you

should kill yourself and I'm also thinking you know I'm not smarter than you yeah who am I I'm an idiot right right that's weird I get it you ever get it to where you're you're like at some restaurant like a Chipotle style and you're up next and you're like I gotta talk to this guy I don't know I can't do it I'm not ready it's just a fucking chuch with a hair net on you know what reminds me of his that scene in the forest gump when the guy says we's at Vietnam he's in he goes to the he's in DC and he's going to the Vietnam fucking whatever rally yeah and then the hippie comes up and goes you're a good man for

doing this and force goes okay oh yeah I feel that way we were just kind of like people like you're you're a great I can't wait I try you're like all right right right thank I'm free I always just you always think of you as a child or me at home like crying in my wife's arms being like nobody loves me and then people like I bought a ticket fucking I'm going to two shows this weekend yeah yeah it's strange it's strange but I mean you gotta fake it and just go with it because you can't you want to sit in your hotel room and go I'm skipping that yeah are you crazy I'm not doing that there's a room full of people that are going to call it

sold out you're like that's even worse yeah I mean I've never gotten that call but in general it's scary yes it's a terrifying thing even right now I'm going ah they hate this of course everything is scary when you really boil everything down just leaving the house is scary sometimes yeah it's and it's a weird like in your brain is like don't go out there it's dangerous why you just want to watch telly yeah I think that's kind of why it's good for people because now everybody's working at home like the the odds are not odds but the the statistics the statistics thank you the statistics on people working at home

now is like bezoubled you know it's like it used to be like two percent now I think it's like 40 or something everybody not 40 but maybe it's 30 but everybody works from home now and I think that's bad for you I think people need to get out I think you know you wake up you go to your nine to five and it sucks you sit in traffic you finger your ass all you fuck your dad you finally get there you do the fucking talk in the kitchen that are you doing Bob cold out yes and it all sucks and you all want to kill yourselves but I think you need it you need the dopamine is the interaction yes yes you got to get out and you got

to interact with people and you sit at home you're the king of the castle you're in your underwear you're rubbing one out every 10 minutes you're eating oatmeal it's not it's not healthy oh it was healthy all right oatmeal's good um you know what i'm saying of course yeah no i'm uh i'm a big isolator same that sounds like a superhero the isolator uh but any jizz so we were in phoenix and yesterday so we're there monday night we do Tucson now I have a there's no direct flights from Tucson so my flight I have a 6 10 a.m i'm flying to Atlanta hot lanta

and I have dealt to comfort but a middle seat bittersweet so I have this is where my ego is though because I can get an aisle in an exit row oh but I want the I want the status of the comfort plus bad ego ego is not your amigo plus you also do get on earlier get on before all those schmuckaroos and you got a fight for that overhead so and you do get extra leg room and I'll tell you a middle seat in comfort is not so bad because a window seat there's a person next to you so it's just that times two you're doing some pretty good finagling in your head

here a 10 hour I mean I just had a I flew from Atlanta to New York in a middle seat and I was like this ain't so bad oh no it's to Miami it was New York to Miami and I was like this isn't horrible all right because you only have because in a window you got to get two people to get up if you want to get out right and I hate that part because that's a big thing with me I piss a lot and I feel trapped in my life and relationship but it's nice to have only one person next to you and you get the elbow space if they if they're proper people

they understand ethics you get the elbows so hope you watch tv it's not so bad all right all right but still now that being said it still sucks yes middle seat it's not ideal it's the worst seat yeah middle seat in the middle east horrible so I got the middle seat delta comfort so I got to fly from Tucson to Atlanta Atlanta to New York that one I have delta comfort with I'll nice but I'm still like I hate the two flights as it's coming you're like I don't want two flights so we drive from Phoenix to Tucson do the show I start putting this noodle in

Louis head because he's got 12 30 he doesn't get home till 7 30 he's losing a whole day oh and I go why don't you get on the earlier flight and there's no first class on my flight he's like it would be fun to fly with you but I gotta have first class I go well why don't we drive back to Phoenix and get direct six o'clock directly he goes well we already drove two hours today I don't want to drive two hours twice because he's he's not a big driver right he's a rich guy so he'll get first

class flights or have a driver drive him so to him driving two hours is like oh god wow two hours is nothing that's nothing to me I mean I've done the four hour Boston New York 5000 times right I've done all kinds of 10 hour drives so I'm like that's nothing I'll I'll do I'll do the driving there you go plus I always have the thing with after the show we're gonna be all jacked up especially him I'm like you're doing an hour in a theater 2000 people it's not like you're gonna just go to bed right so the amount of time we'll be

driving two hours that's the amount of time it would take to settle down before you fall asleep so you drive back to Phoenix now you're tired we get to the airport hotel boom you're off to the races so finally he's like you know I think you make a good point I'm like I have a point as a point so he gets a flight from Phoenix to Newark 640 I get the 610 Phoenix to New York direct I get upgraded to first class so I went from Delta comfort middle seat to Atlanta Delta comfort

Atlanta New York to straight shot first class fuck your mother wow and the car ride back was great we had the stones crank and I was DJing I like nothing more in life than when someone lets me DJ please DJ I don't want to DJ I give give me the fucking thing and I'm just pulling up stones to we had it full bore which I he's driving like 125 miles an hour which was a little scary and we got can't you hear me knocking and honking talk Jew the whole thing and it's just rock and we're fucking it's all I've ever wanted out of a dad

sure we're just like and we're like we're hitting each other but dude it was so low and I felt like we just nerded out yes driving 300 miles an hour we get there in 70 minutes it was one of those ones we were like wait what the fuck time is it oh yeah you're like we just shave 40 minutes off that's crazy good get to the airport hotel and I gave away the ending but I didn't realize I'm waiting for the the the flight and I just checked my seats obsessively like let me see if a aisle pops up and it does whoa an aisle

comfort and I go to click on it says it's too late you can't do it and I'm going well maybe I'll just ask I'll just ask and as I'm looking my seat you ever know in Delta on the app when your seat changes it starts blinking and all of a sudden I'm like it's blinking something's happening oh yeah pop 5c first class wow and it happened right as they're like now boarding first class so I had the momentum because I was already heading up to ask about the aisle so I went first class I went bloop first one on now wait a minute is this one of those mini jets where first class is not really for you know it's just a wicker chair in

the front of the plane it's not actually this is Phoenix to New York that's a hall baby yeah that's cross-cut it was real uh real first class and so flew right home what a gift nice nice nice day it's one of everything in my life I question the decision so it's nice to have that like you a hundred percent made the right decision affirmation I haven't heard from him so he might be dead but well we can only hope good time but all right I got I'll get more but you that's big something so they don't fucking shoot me and that flight suck that's a five hour hum ding right there it's not a short one that's a nice little peach good for you and what would you I picture in a Yaris or a Kia

no it was his car we were Cadillac oh you got to drive that fucking boat no I never drove I offered to drive he did the drive he had a little brown guy driving no he did the drive oh wow all right he drove and uh it was a little hairy at times but I can't picture that guy behind the big big hook and ladder well I've driven with him a couple times and you know he's uh his brain is squirrely yeah he's a mad scientist he gets really into whatever he's talking about so sometimes he'll be like oh yeah the thing was Kubrick is right Kubrick was a photographer and I'm like right on the road ginger you're like Jesus Christ oh and there's a lot of times too we're like when someone's giving you directions you got to keep the conversation loose and light because

I got to go a one mile you got to go right exactly so he's like well when my dad hit me the first time that's when I knew my mother was going to be a gay person I'm like okay I'm sorry I'm like you gotta fuck we missed it ah you know he's crying about his aunt or whatever sure sure oh it's toasty I'm sorry like to warm home leather this thing's piping hot literally you feel that none of this oh the pipe yes oh I'm hitting the box or hit the pipe um all right yeah you tell something because these people get cranky if I talk too much all right I don't have much but I want to say thanks to all the Tuesdays who came out to royal oak we really rocked it out in the mitten Detroit uh Michigan area great weekend the Michigan area you know you Detroit comes in

what do you call it yeah I don't know they drive around these people so uh they put in a hotel it's three blocks away it's royal oak yeah it's a great spot they got free breakfast and uh no media just a good time I had a Brett Hayden uh rocking it out as the feature kooky host uh X cop one of these guys who like brings handcuffs on stage go hey I was a cop in this town for 40 years nothing nothing on that you're like just tell the jokes you fucking heck but uh nice people we had a great time uh we went to we went to the diner every night after the show you know I'm trying to drink less and so you start doing that shit and I'm just eating when I don't drink I just I just keep ordering and the food there is so cheap because it's the

middle of nowhere and it's a fucking shithole Greek diner so it's like like give me a cup of chili well what what what are the soups you got oh you got chicken give me a bowl of chicken noodle and we're just sitting there for hours I had a meat loaf I had a piece of pie you have an ice cream you have a croissant you have a dental dam and I just leave there going like oh what was I thinking yeah same I can't stop with the food because it's like that cup of chili was like 139 you know so you're like give me 10 of those yeah so bizarre we were in Tucson and we got a coffee and a tea she's like it's 415 you're like this coffee costs literally five dollars and 30 cents at Starbucks in New York exactly so yeah a lot of gifts a lot of nice people we sold all the merch

that's a merch town by the way good to know and uh I had one snafu every show was great not a bad show in the book one snafu and tell me if you've seen this guy ugly bald chunky guy well dressed I was working with them yeah well dressed front row smoke show of a lady friend I don't know if they're dating I don't know if they're gay I don't know if they're eating each other out or what but they were together and it was quite mismatch okay that was her name mismatch and uh I'm doing the thing you know where you go uh you guys you go anybody gay here who and you're like oh you're gay and he's like nah I'm not gay all right all right well whatever so you make fun of him sure and then he's not he hasn't laughed once and then you go any uh lesbians here who you're like all

right so you're just doing the thing where you answer everything yeah anybody here I have a dog who cat who and you're like what is your thing I just go off on the guy and you know we're making it fun it settles and then about a third of the way into the show I get this one like smoked a super loud just a big stack of bullshit yawn like this yawn didn't need to be that big it didn't need to be yawn at all just he did like the the cartooning yeah he stretched out he had a nightcap on a candle I wanted to kill this guy I hate it I do a bit about it you don't need to make a noise when you yawn yes it's it's not a necessary noise no this was audible.com I mean this guy was all over the road with the yawn and he waited for a I had a silent you know Cosby

rape moment where you just have a nice moment of silence for the for the the punchline to come sure and he nailed it right on it and I just snapped I had a meltdown on this guy hate the yawn I hate the yawn I hate to participate it sounds like he was trying to impress the lady I guess I assume but she was into it I had that last time I was at the same club it was really talking about stage right but it was a big fat woman she kept talking and I had to do the thing of like you gotta stop I know you're having a good time whatever that one sounds a little bit more malicious yes I had like a couple of chatty Dorothy's or whatever but right right well he he got me good and I went off on the guy and then he did the thing after where he's like hey we had we we

really rocked it out there you're like God I hate you and I want to bang your girlfriend what the hell's going on here mismatch is good looking oh boy mismatch was uh was uh she was uh hot as a rivet is that a frog rivet you know like I was rivets is that a hot hot as a hot as a pistol okay that's all right that's a that's a good one classic I think rivet is something Rosie the Riveter what just changed oh I think the light flickered got dark nothing nothing serious no we're good we're good at the fuse boxes and these these old pre wars are real topsy-turvy speaking of serious things oh good call this show is brought to you by blue chew you got that right what could be more serious than blue chew oh yeah well dick pills

are exciting you need you need dick pills occasionally don't you yeah I've taken a few and I'm a fan yeah it's it's a lot of fun I have not personally taken them but I have friends that have and they swear by them and I'll tell you it's it's piqued my interest yes I always thought it was for if you if you can get a bone or you don't need a pill oh yeah but from what I understand this blue chew can increase your performance quite a bit it makes the boner last longer again I think it gives you actually like a half inch there this thing it's like a 14 year old dick yeah I've heard it which I love delicious and throbby yeah you look a little teepee right now there Sasquatch oh thank you I got a decent piece as you know oh

yeah well I'll tell you what blue chew has the same FDA approved active agree ingredients as Viagra and clitoris psialis oh yeah big difference take blue chew anytime day or night even on a full stomach and since it's chewable they work up to twice as fast that's twice as fast as a regular pill so you can be ready whenever an opportunity arises which in our line of work could be any moment oh yeah it's fast and easy blue chew is prescribed online by licensed physicians so you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at the pharmacy and it ships right to your door in a discrete package you got that right you'll have right now we've got a special deal for our listeners visit blue chew.com and get your first shipment free when you use our special

promo code Tuesdays just pay five clams in shipping again that's bluechew.com promo code Tuesdays and try it for free get a free boner please your lady please your man please your relatives get in there blue chew is the better cheaper faster choice and we thank you we thank them for sponsoring the pod and that's not our only sponsor this week folks Tuesday's with stories it takes a lot to make this show run so yeah Tuesday's with stories also sponsored by here's another one of our favorites away travel we're big travelers obviously now everyone travels differently and away travel offers a range of suitcases in a variety of colors and sizes to fit the way you like to pack yes from a quick business trip to a week away they've got everything you

need to get away at a fraction of the price whoever you are and whatever you need to pack away has the luggage to make your trip seamless now you use one of these don't you yes I use in a way every weekend I'm on the road every weekend on a flight on a train and I love away I love it's lightweight it's got the 360 degree wheels I'm whizzing I'm whazzin and it's got the goddamn battery in there that battery is a lifesaver we've all been to the airport where you're like I got no outlet I'm on a flight for five hours my phone's about to die I'm about to beat uh brick breaker boom plug it right into my away carry on battery thing that charges up to five iPhones I love the away start your risk-free 100 day trial and shop the entire away lineup including

all their bestsellers at away travel dot com slash Tuesdays 20 that's Tuesdays in the number 20 at the end and get away to zero yep whoo hey hey right two ads yeah pretty good good ads too those are quality products were all behind yep you can fill your way bag with blue shoe oh there you go then you can go on an orgy all over the world that seems like fun you think yeah well I have all these sexual things that you wish you could like have that men in black thing where it's like sure you want to get nasty I think it'd be fun if you could just turn off all bets are off and then the wild gang bang where I'm sucking three dicks and I got my wife's shoe in my ass yeah and then you just it shoots it off and no one remembers anything and then you're back

to normal yeah but then you don't know how you liked it what if you liked it well that memory they lose the memory everybody else loses the memory you're cool yeah I still got that memory of like God remember that time I fucked Mike Tyson while you know Amanda Holyfield blew my wife yeah that really that that boop boop thing would save a lot a lot all the molested people all the abused people we know they would just be clean slate well what's interesting though is your brain has the boop boop but then it lingers because a lot of people that's called a suppressed memory yeah they bury it yeah it's all buried in there and then they they got their own self it's similar like black and out with your brains like we don't want to remember this I know I've done a lot of

orgies blacked out but also you think too if we had the thing we wouldn't maybe have porn stars and strippers and comedians like some of that some of these these negative molestations can lead to some sort of ambition or compensation in a way yeah I think it's a good point if you have a kid you might want to think about just fingering them up just a tad a little just a little get them over the hump you know so he's not some lazy bum that way he'll try to accomplish something yeah I mean Joe Jackson everyone remembers as a bad guy but those are some talented kids yeah I mean think about all the fucking Tyler Perry was molested Oprah look at these people millionaires I didn't know that Oprah was molested I did it you're kidding yeah yeah my best accomplishment well done well

what else you got something well I don't know where we were we started doing ads oh yeah I want to hear I gotta say you're like a you're like the Travago guy you're a travel aficionado I've been all over well I have another travel thing to happen on the crew I gotta finish talking about the crew I'm dying to hear it fatty because there's there's more to the crews than meets the eye or whatever uh-huh and I hope I don't I think I made proper notes of what I did and didn't talk about on the cruise well done so we're on the Joker's cruise there and like I said great group we got with this one day in NASA we dock up where did you dock when you were there Cozumel oh something like that yeah were you on the one that left from New Orleans

Florida oh okay because it was one year they went from New Orleans no that wasn't me I wish um so we went from Miami to Nassau uh Bahamas and we're all trying to figure out what to do where to go you can go build sand castles or ride horses or whatever and we ended up just deciding we'll just wing it we'll get in a cab and go to a beach sure so the group is me Ryan Hamilton Keith Robinson Sarah Joyelle Nicole Johnson and her friend uh-huh uh who is cool and then oh and then Adrianne Apollucci and her boyfriend so we had a good crew a cab here I think there was eight eight of us yikes so you get off the boat in Nassau and it's just everyone like you want beads you want beads you want to ride who wants a cab and then they kept throwing us around because

they want to upsell you so if we want eight we want to ride to Atlantis which is the big thing you obviously the commercial for oh yeah the hidden city but they have a beach and a casino Keith wanted a gamble we wanted the beach yada yada so it's a huge crazy third world scramble everyone's like my friend my friend I can't do the voices yeah and whatever that was as bad as my mar that was yeah that's all we're not the precious no no no painters that's all I got so finally we get in a cab and it's like an old rickety crazy cab it looks like like Afghanistan sure and so we all pile in there and then they pick up another couple that has a baby like this is always like a lady with a baby and they're all crammed in there and she have fruit on her head

no fruit I was disappointed I wanted to see fruit but yeah yeah a lot of beads and stuff then those cabbies are in cahoots with those other bead folk you know they all fuck oh yeah they're all yelling you saw like three to be like you fucking take my guy that's my guy yes yes it was just like this is wild oh yeah third world I believe they call it yeah she never hear about second world no no second world west world I've heard second world I think would be like Nevada Reno yeah that's the second world I got you so we get in the cab we end up going to the beach we drop off the beach we walk up there and it's like it's the the upsell beach this isn't like the nice private beach we get there and we want umbrellas and chairs the guys like $20 per couple which is

like that's not no $40 oh man 20 bucks ahead $40 for umbrella and chair per couple so 20 bucks ahead but when you're there you're just like well I'm not going to sit baking here just give me the chair give me the goods yeah yeah they got you by the anal so we get we all is like four pairs of well there's three pairs Keith is like I'm going to go to the casino and he walks slow he had a stroke sure and and Ryan Hamilton is like I'll go with you guys so they start shuffling off to go to the casino so Joyelle and her friend Adrienne her boyfriend Sarah and myself we all hand them 40 bucks he's got 120 bucks the guy just takes off leaves we'll go okay we're waiting so now his compadres or whatever like what are you waiting for what are you waiting for what do

you need unlimited drinks unlimited drinks you want beads you want pop pot whatever like we don't need anything we're just waiting on the umbrella and so we're waiting and waiting and we wait for about 10 minutes and the lady comes back and goes all right listen we know you gave him the money but that guy is not coming back we're like where did he go and a Joyelle's friend went to go change she came back she's like the guy we gave her money to is in a police car right now oh he got arrested wow we gave him 120 bucks immediately got arrested for something unrelated can we get the cash ish no well we they kept it because like he legitimately works there so like we'll go find you so we had to meet a different guy but you're like what the fuck he was

Richard Kimball he was like on he was a fugitive so we have no idea what but we bumped into Keith and Ryan later like we saw your guy I thought I was gonna like reveal this great story yeah I was like the guy we gave our money to like he got arrested we saw it what happened I was like what the fuck we have no idea I think he might have murdered a family then tried to hide out on the beach or whatever maybe he's got Amy smart or whatever the fuck but he probably or Holloway or Holloway whatever the fuck her name is yeah but he probably used our cash to bail him out like that would have been oh yeah because I imagine get bailed out in Bahamas is like 10 cents and a banana I don't know sheckles in a coconut yeah so that was fun that was like you got your little

Bahamas story and like we always talk about I'm like it's all podcast to me yeah Potter you're standing there my feet are burning I'm like I'm on fire you just want to get in the water but and everyone's like freaking out you're like we're never gonna get an umbrella we went to the shitty beach but I'm like this is good stuff yeah yeah our guys in jail and I wonder I didn't know they had cops down there I thought it was a freewheeling you know just rickety shamtown no they stuck them right in the uh the clink so wow well hey maybe if you're listening there good luck yeah raped have fun oil up yeah oil up be careful in the can but anyway so we ended up getting our umbrellas we sit there we go for a nice swim and it's just

beautiful I'm never happier than when I'm in the ocean I think I live in the wrong city great hang but then we come back up out of the water and then we're like all right we're gonna go find Hamilton and Keith because they're the best hang yeah and I like to gamble so we walk down the beach and now I feel stupid we go down like two beaches Hamilton's like we're like 300 yards from you guys they went to Atlantis there you pay 80 bucks and you just have full access and it's like not a private beach but it's at Lannis Beach only okay so it's like just nicer beach no one's trying to sell you shit there's no rift raft and we're like oh we fucked up for twice as much money we could have had a way better yeah whatever yeah we got the story we got the

story rested so we ended up going to a nice dinner we did a little gambling Keith was playing blackjack right behind me and I'm playing roulette here and I kept hitting my I was like Hamilton give me a number he's like 13 I put it down it hits whoa I won about 80 bucks Keith got cleaned out but it was fun because he was right behind me yeah it was like Star Wars those like fighters were they they're back to back for some reason and I kept being like how you doing he's like I'm getting killed and I was like I'm killing over here it was really fun it was like battleship or top gun yes exactly it was very fun so we won some money went back to the thing and then the last night they do big karaoke every night Sal they have karaoke killed the cat which I guess is

these I think I've heard of that they look like rappers kind of guys uh-huh is that James Corden that's something else that's car karaoke oh yeah that's all gay this is a group that does karaoke but they they're like high-end karaoke they're like the best karaoke it's an oxy boron well what's good about them is if the person sticks they join in and they sing also helping the handicap a little so the last night of the cruise they're like we're gonna do karaoke and Sal's like hey I've heard you're a big karaoke guy now I haven't done karaoke since I stopped drinking yeah it was like eight years ago right right but that used to be my thing yes I got laid more doing karaoke than comedy kooky I told the story before I was in Charleston South Carolina I sang born to run on

the 4th of July and then they were like do another one I ended up singing born in the USA like back to back 4th of July I was underage I got everyone rocking stillborn and a girl named Joey uncle Joey walked up to me was like I don't care what you say I'm going home with you wow and I was like great we ended up fucking that was exciting good looking Joe she was pretty hot all right yeah well done couple Joe so um she uh that was fun and then I had the other story when I was in Providence Rhode Island with Tom Dustin Big Al then David I sang born to run there and I was leaving and an old guy grabbed me was like that's the best thing I've ever seen and I've seen Led Zeppelin wow and he was like and I'm serious did you fuck him yeah we 69 hey trunk of my car but

so I hadn't done karaoke in a while and Sal's like you gotta do it and I'm like all right I'll do it the last night we'll do some karaoke so we all go out to eat at the steakhouse you come out and this is not some bar karaoke this is on the big stage on the deck oh yeah of the cruise a thousand people and is this the last night this is the finale the last night big finale all the jokers are on stage that guy Joe's going ape shit cues like out of his mind oh yeah beautiful time and like everybody's all the comics are up there and it's rocking oh yeah people so I said Sal like what do I gotta do he's like just tell me when you're ready and I was like all right put me in coach and they go all right up next is Joe list born to run and it was hot oh boy it was hot dogs

everyone's on stage and uh Sal's singing and I ripped the shirt off I saw that started really rocking getting into I had everyone go whoa whoa this went nuts I'm climbing up the gear and dancing and jumping up and down and everyone's going fucking ape shit it was like a rock concert that's amazing I mean a thousand people yeah it was a little bit because I think a lot of them don't know that song because they're like college kids but fuck it I really brought the heat and Sal's got the video it's on the patreon you can go check it out I'm gonna check that out yeah it was really something and you look great I only saw your back with the photos but it was a hell of a back oh thanks I've been working out quite a bit you know it quite a spine yeah it's exciting so I really

felt alive but it's similar to sex because you're going crazy but there's no like backstage I mean there is but like you just finished and you're like okay so that was it thank yeah and then everyone's hanging out on stage so I just kind of like oh that is weird yeah you're like okay well here I am now and I got no shirt on the guy Joe threw my shirt in the crowd oh geez I ended up getting it back but it was really something I felt alive because comedy even when you're killing it's whatever when you're rocking and rolling oh yeah and everyone's weightless going nuts so that was really something and I posted a bunch of photos on Instagram and it felt like a rock concert it was really something beautiful and then everyone's getting fucked up and Casey Joe's he was having a

great time he's cool and at one point during gin and juice he gave me the microphone so I'm like wrapping gin and juice up there which was fun and that's lunch great great time highly recommend the cruise and now here's another travel thing all right nobody cares what a cool thing that you're just rocking out in the high seas you're the you're probably the middle of the Atlantic oh yeah jizzing with a shirt off about with Bruce spring oh it was one of the thrills in my life I have to say really that was something so then the next day everyone has like earliest flights 11 noon 12 30 but I was worried I didn't know what time the boat got in so I booked like a 5 30 flight a little late and with the the boat gets in at 8 you gotta be off the

boat at 9 15th the latest yikes so Sarah and I say fuck it we'll just do a Miami day there you go yeah live a little go to the beach I'm going to Miami in Bonipo mommy so we rent a car I go rent the car it's from little Havana so I'm like okay we get out of the boat we get in a cab the cab driver is like a fucking idiot he's driving all over loopy crazy 30 cab ride 10 minute ride you think he rocked you I think he might have looked ah fucking Cubans so he drops us off in little Havana it's a tiny little enterprise I go in there clang-a-ling the guy goes uh you have a reservation I go yeah he's like you just made it didn't you and I was like yeah like a half hour ago he's like we got no cars I go what and it's one of these things we were like

oh there's nothing I can do yeah I go what you have no car that's insane he's like I agree he's like it's crazy I don't know why they took it and I was like this is insane you're just at an impasse right where we are like that's insane yeah I'm like this is insane he's like I know huh but he's like I don't I can't just make a car there's no car he's like that lady that just drove off she doesn't know how to drive a truck she's driving like this huge truck wow he's like I don't know it's all we had he's like they shouldn't have taken it and I'm like okay yeah nothing to do so we can't build a car so now we're just stuck at fucking little Havana enterprise after a $30 cabber exactly he's like well why don't you just you can go to the airport

they'll have cars but I'm like we have to go to the airport later I'm like I'm not going to go to the airport get a car just to drive back to the airport so I'm like fuck this so there's this famous Cuban diner where they have Cuban coffee sandwiches that's like five minutes away so we get a lift now already got a cab now we get a lift to the Cuban fucking refugee spot yeah we go there we have a nice breakfast we got all our suitcases and shit of course we get those Sarah's happy now because she got her coffee and her thing and she's like what should we do should we go get a cut and I'm like if we go get it that's a third car we're taking yeah to the airport I go fuck it let's just go to the airport we'll get work done we'll try to get on the three o'clock yeah we're

thinking maybe we'll get on the three o'clock I'll tell you got a gift there for you like a travel agent I'm very good I really enjoy this so here's what happens but listen to this so we take a cab to the airport now we go fuck it we'll just relax let's go to the board let's go see if we can get the 330 I go let's find the gate okay the 330 flight it's like 1215 right now all right the 330 flight is in whatever it's at gate d7 we start to walk away and Sarah's like wait a minute what's this one oh she's like does it 1235 to JFK now I got LaGuardia on my mind because that's in my backyard you're stuck on LaGuard she's like there's a JFK she's like it leaves at 1235 I go what gate's that it's this gate right here I look over I see Ron Bennington his wife Adrienne's over here that's

Bonnie McFarlane they're all on this flight that's a good sign so I go comedy flight I go straight to the gate they're already lined up because it's getting they're getting ready oh boy you're cutting it close so I go up there I go hey what are the chances uh I'm like I gotta I'm on the five o'clock to LaGuardia anyway I could jump on this and the guy's like I don't know I go I'm I'm platinum medallion is that gonna do anything for me he's like he's like that doesn't hurt I go okay okay he's like that let me just see what I can do does that he goes hang over here for a few minutes I'll let you know I like a hangover so I go okay worst case scenario we're hanging here but maybe we're getting in five hours early yep yep yep he boards all the first class now it's time for

Delta Comfort he goes uh if you're seated in uh stops talking move some papers around he goes uh Joseph List to the gate hands me two ticket not just two tickets to Delta Comfort isle and middle next to each other and by the way we weren't gonna be next to each other on the original flight because she got booked later I booked her flight six weeks later you gotta horse you up your so we were gonna be separate he goes here's your things first Delta Comfort he goes now boarding Delta Comfort again we're the first of the comforts because he's getting my tickets you pass it up Bennington and body and I'll tell you I look over and I make dead icon with age and her boyfriend they're like what wow they're already lying but we get to zip through because we get the comfort

man you know your orbits your kayak motherfucker I'll tell you I love those two people but to see the distance when you have a friend that's like what you're like sorry boys yeah I'll see you in hell dickless I'll see you in 30 seconds when you pass me to go to the shit seats well that's hell uh and we walk by and Bennington's there he's like you made it I'm high five in him I'm kissing him on the lips we go Delta Comfort beautiful seats and now you're like we're getting home fucking five hours early thank you little Havana and thank you Sarah for noticing the thing yes we lost a day at the beach but we got home way earlier and I was only home for a couple days of course so it was a beautiful beautiful thing but you get to sit at home and you go

see this it's five now we would have just landed if we were those chuches from before oh I never get over this all day yesterday I was like right now I'd be landed like right here exactly I'd be in a cab right now yeah you know blue I do the same so many ways that's my uh that's my bullshit that's see I don't know call me a coon's age or a cum guzzler a goo gobbler I could listen to that shit all day yeah I don't know about them but uh but also you got to fucking cherish that shit there sloppy jalopy because sometimes it's gonna it's gonna be some flights it's gonna remember that Omaha flight that raped you evenly so you gotta cherish those nice ones well sometimes it helps to have like I talked about I've seen this before like sometimes in the winter I'll walk around

with my hat in my pocket for about 10 minutes just to have the moment of like oh everything just got better right like it's almost like you like to book a shitty flight just so you have the opportunity to upgrade yes yes a wise uh what do you call profit douche once said like losing your watch sucks but when you find your watch that's a happiness you didn't have if you had not lost it yes I don't know what his point was but uh there's something to that those Asians they were good yeah it's like um the it's like good and bad are two sides of the same coin right you know a breakup is worth two in the bush yeah big muff there's something to with uh what's that old story where the guy falls off a horse and he will see he breaks his leg and then he's

like oh this is the worst thing ever happened to me I want to kill myself that a war breaks out and I go well you can't go with that fucking gimp and he goes all right I missed the war all my friends died I'm here right well it's all works out yeah and let me oh we gotta wrap this up here yeah stick something out there because I want to apologize for my last episode performance I was so hung over I could barely uh think straight or gay and uh so I just want to sorry to the folks at home I gotta I gotta clean it up I got so drunk in van in Toronto and then I got on like a super early flight I gotta tell you there fatty I don't know if you remember these days but in the customs line like like walking through the desert I was so people are looking at me like is he all right do you have

corona what's going on with this guy so hung over I fell asleep at the gate like on the floor and you know like I barely made it because they were like last call for new work and I was like and then you get on the plane you're like stiff and drooling and gay and aidesy and man you don't want to I got home I could barely do the pod yeah well I remember those days and I'm still like traumatized like I still have the thing that I'm just now getting over when I'm like I have a 6 a.m. flight I'm fucked I can't do it oh yeah but then you're like wait I'm not even drink I'll just get up and go right it'll be uncomfortable but I'll do it there was so many flies threw up on so many fucking planes all the time the worst man the worst and people are

looking at you going he's he's hung over this guy's a fucking loser well you always have that feeling of like I'm the whole time just waiting for the seatbelt light to turn off so I can run and throw up oh yeah and you got like a half a shit in your pants like a wet hot shit and yeah your mouth has that taste like somebody you know puked in your mouth and you swallowed it good times but Toronto was great thanks everybody came out yeah I'll be there in May I think May 29th May force be with you yes I got a ton of dates let me stick some dates up your ass date rate this weekend I am in Hyena in Plano Hyena's Texas wait I'm saying this backwards sometimes I think I'm retarded Hyena's comedy club in Plano Texas Thursday Friday Saturday

come on out next week I got back to back kind of tough ones hit me comics Mohegan's son March 12th through the 14th belly room at the comedy store Monday March 16th and then of course Skankfest Vegas first week of April and then I'll be at the Melbourne comedy festival did I say this on that podcast already yes I have I leave April 5th my flight leaves April 5th I land April 7th my birthday is April 6th I have no birthday I'm missing a whole birthday we gotta do something for I'll be in the air the whole time and what is this 38 I'll be 38 yeah look at that 38 special we're getting old 38 pistol uh Worcester Massachusetts April 17th and 18th and then Moontower will both be there we're doing a live Tuesdays April 23rd to the 25th then I'll be in

Royal Oak Michigan April 30th through May 2nd Salt Lake City wise guys May 22nd and 23rd Toronto May 29th the Uncle Dale firehouse benefit at the Quincy Marriott May 9th all right Dale and uh San Francisco punchline in June June 10th through the 13th so a lot of crazy stuff going on and then I'm doing live a one night are in Seattle June 4th I'm going out there for brandy Carlisle again oh nice Thursday June 4th laughs in Seattle and my new podcast is cooking mindful metal jacket you can go check that out it's getting wonderful review so I appreciate those thanks for listening to that and uh we have new shirts yes and we'll be wearing them at these uh festivals probably just uh really advertised yeah what the fuck's the

website it's a kooky website but it says live laugh queef it's written in a beautiful font it's uh it's a hell of a shirt you don't want to miss it I'll put on my stories we have it on our twitter and their high quality shirt they're like those they're like these softy cotton ones and it's uh I know people have had a lot of issues with our shirts they're supposedly better the the original shirts that podcast smirks they're doing a better job now sure but these shirts this is a new hot fresh company they mail them out to you they make them they mail them out so give us another shot something to be happy or be happy or what the fuck is it called don't worry be happy oh shit I'll find it all right you find it you go you go dates here this weekend I'm in Nashville music city

honky tonk baby I love this town we added a late show on Saturday just to just to really do it up so that's Friday Saturday come out to Nashville Zanies laughing skull in Atlanta that's a tiny room that's gonna sell out folks dress factory in bridgeport Connecticut all you new england kinetic guns get your ass over there then uh you know cellar with this guy in Vegas uh stress factory in New Jersey New Brunswick that's a classic club come on by moon tower with this fatty Des Moines funny bone you know you love it uh Zanies in Chicago summon rosemont summon old town so we'll mix it up Calgary at the laugh shop Tempe improv you know it you love it good nights in Raleigh helium and Philly those tickets will be on sale next week and Soho theater

in London let's do it dr grins and uh Miami improv so yeah fun stuff the website is remember to be happy and the t is a two the number two you got that right and I think it's on our twitter a couple times so go get some t shirts where they're underperforming these sales so yeah it's a great people are skeptical about our clothing but this is a new jizz and a new way and a new gaze so you're gonna love it there's something and you can get a hoodie get a fucking hoodie for god's sake be the coolest quiefer in town yeah live laugh queef it's got Tuesdays with stories logo on the back there I like it so uh represent go get a t shirt and uh thank you and give us a nice review on the podcast I forgot about the reviews on there I think that moves it up the algorithm

oh yeah big L and and people are sharing and telling friends and that's the biggest thing you can do and come see us live give us a hug give us a uh starbucks or oh I got one for you oh thanks got your poat and an uber the whole thing love uber so yeah tell your dad we said he's gay and blow your mom and uh yeah eat out your daughter all right queef praise our love stop oh shit yeah