Tuesdays with Stories! - #360 Gaggle Grift

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

Holy guacamole, we're back yet again as Joe has a run in with some detectives while Mark's gal has a run in with some hobo's. Check it out!  Sponsored by: Feals CBD (feals.com/tuesday) & TalkSpace (talkspace.com code: tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays Get our new T-Shirts right here baby! remember2behappy.com/twsshop

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be chasing keep them doggies rolling raw hi dad that was the start but it should have been it wasn't bad I was watching curb the other day and he walks in with his Chinese takeout and he goes keep them doggies rolling

raw hi and I was like who what show does this that's the why it's such a great show because you can just go do whatever he wants oh yeah I mean there's so many great moments like that how about the guy Mike pond he made a video of you as Jerry me as Larry from the show it looks dead on it's amazing I put it on the Twitter go check it out folks you gaze out there this guy is killing the promo I don't even ask him to do it he's having a good time he's jerking off himself Mike pond comedy yeah I assume he's a comedian he is he is cool cat oh you know him I've met him at shows I think he's a Jersey quiff and

he's come out to a couple shows and he's driven me to some shows he's a good good kid good shit well he's a hell of a photo shopper oh yeah he can shop around he's a secret shopper remember those yeah I mean I dealt with him at Sears and FYE the whole thing I was in retail quite a bit and I had a lot of secret show it was like this thing it always makes me sad to look back I had a manager at FYE for your entertainment formerly record town and she was a big big heavy lady sweet as pie can't remember her name I'm this is 20 years ago she liked by more than 20 oh yeah 20 years ago I guess less than 20 years ago but she she would

always get so anxious because the regional manager was coming and you know the same uniform on as me and it was all tucked and disheveled and she was like Brett Michaels is coming down he's coming in and he's gonna he's gonna he's gonna suit oh my god and we had to shuffle and make sure you alphabetize and yeah I remember it being 20 years old and drunk and starting comedy and just being like oh this poor lady is being ruled by a regional manager who probably makes you know 12 bucks an hour himself yep yep what a way to live it and it's like it's like the sitcom those old tropes like the health

inspector's coming batten down the hatches you know like sweep that up clean that counter you know cut quit jizz it on the tree it was all remember you had to like shut everything down and clean it all up but I remember them they would bring in us the high school employees or whatever just out of high school and we're making 875 like literally that's actually the what we're making and then pull us in and everyone take a knee and give a speech yeah and the whole time you're like I don't give a shit I care yeah exactly I'm trying to get laid I'm trying to get drunk I'm trying to go to this Bob's big party

this weekend but I get it you had to I mean I appreciate people that whatever job they have to like this is my job and I care and you know what I get you don't want to get fired or whatever but I definitely remember thinking boy that's a bummer to be really nervous about a regional manager of a CD store coming yeah and then some come staying comes in with a white glove member that he would you know run his finger along something go mmm that's a lot of that's a lot of diarrhea or whatever it was but but I agree with you about the if you're gonna have a job just do it well like even the biggest fuck up as I am even when I

worked as a mover or a janitor if somebody was like you fuck this up I would still feel horrible yeah but I remember also there was a guy that worked there and he was I guess he was a manager too but he would yell at me and we ended up becoming friendly because he was like a tyrant he was like the mean guy and I remember him saying you know what are you doing you alpha by the time it's the thing wrong you gotta yeah and everyone would always be like oh cry and I remember just going yeah all right you got it and it really took the teeth out of him because he wanted to get the reaction yes and I didn't give a fuck

he wanted someone to either be like who fuck you you fucking asshole or to cry and I would just be like all right sure thing man yeah cuz I was like what am I gonna get into it with this nut and it ended up we ended up being friend like it really destabled it what do you call it what's that word when they say when someone's hot and you you de frost them thaw no it's not like a word like a took the teeth out undressed them uh-huh it's when you really decapitate see what I'm doing with my hand here you kind of do this aha yeah yeah yeah you cool down yeah you cool them you are I know what you're getting at there fatty I know

what tree you're barking you know when two people are fighting they're going on fire and then someone comes in and depleted to desensitize de defund the police enter it yeah de cup de escalate I think we de s I would de escalate the situation by just being like yeah all right man I'll go alphabetize you fucking weirdo yes and we end up becoming quite friendly and then I gotta be honest this is bad but like then when new people came and he did his little thing and they did cry I'd be like nah that's fun you kind of see the fun of it like sometimes people do things and you're like I kind of get why that's fun sure yeah I think

I think this doesn't I mean that's basically all of social media and canceling is just like I don't feel like they actually care about the issue it's just kind of like alright I gotta crumble a little bit right they just want to they want to feel strong yes yes exactly they like the feeling and but the way to weaken someone that's trying to feel strong is to just be like alright sure yeah you got it dude yeah you don't to get that upset but whatever sure I'll alphabetize we've seen every movie where everybody's trying to like buy a girl a drink and let me take you out to dinner let me show you my Rolex and my cool

car and the one guy's like yeah whatever I don't care you know whatever you want she's like who's that guy you know it's the same shit yeah but it's still got in that situation still be a sexy guy because I feel like Costanza over here I mean I've ignored every woman I ever met no one ever was like but please that's a good point great he was nice and he's not trying to fuck me I appreciate that alright nobody ended up in more friend zones than me included my own wife I was in a friend zone for about nine years before I finally you know took a bra off and kissed her nip yeah yeah those bras are hard to get off sometimes

it takes nine years it's true I don't know why they're not all front give me the front bra I know and why is it such a I mean you've seen every sitcom why you know when it's it's it's a hack joke now with the bra thing like we can't tweak this you know we got Uber Eats we still got the same bra hook yeah but the front bra this is what I like about the front bra when you unsnap it and then they leave it open like this it looks like you know Steve McQueen with his gun on his like that's a spendery gun thing yes that I like I like that too because it looks like the tits were couldn't be contained they popped they busted right

oh yeah love a nice busty bust ah love a bust it's weird sometimes I like it this is gonna sound this is where I might lose you as a as a host here but sometimes I like a tit in a shirt more than the tit naked well I definitely feel that way about a vagina in underwear so let's meet halfway let's connect there but a vagina and underwear there's nothing there's nothing to see there oh there's something to see I mean you get a test a meaty little inch of life in that thing maybe well there's something to smell that's for sure it's not to smell and there's a nine volt to taste well if they have a bush you can see the bushel

there I like the leaves yeah yeah a little shrubbery but I'm saying I just a pussy the underwear in that area of the body not the pussy itself but the groin middle midsection yes with underwear is hotter than without underwear yeah yeah maybe they something about the underwear going up on the sides and going right up the pooper and all that it's it's really something to see but you're saying tits hidden better than tits revealed sometimes like sometimes you see a pair of knobs in a shirt you're like wow those things are be bopping and scatting all over the place they're jumping around it's a tight tee or a tight halter

whatever it is a tube top and you're like wow they look so round and great and then sometimes you see the actual tit and you're like you know I was good before yes I definitely see what you mean I mean if here's how I would say it if you're familiar with the tit you get to see a lot of the tit you like that but if you only had one option if someone was like hey I'll give you 30 seconds to look at these tits free free spirits or in a t-shirt I'd probably take the free spirit every time every time of course but yes there are definitely times where a t-shirt tit even a bra tit I love because it's got the shape it's you know it's

really up there in there it's supported yeah and you could say the same for a rump you know some of these jeans are designed to really caress a rump and prop it up and put it on a pedestal and then you see the rump in real life it's got a it's got a zit a blemish a pockmark norman do you know it's got a shit stain and a c-section scar and a freckle and a mole you know and the gene it was uh it felt a little more polished well no arguments here in fact I would say if someone gave me the same option as the tit option you got 30 seconds you can see this ass bear or in G or in panties I'm taking the panties because like you said I mean you did it's just a gamble it's like it's like Louis a little

bit about the first time you're seeing a dick you don't know what kind of dick you're about to get right it is a gamble I've seen a lot of butts with with mud on them and and just waves of cheese whiz and you know those like lightning bolt things yes yes what is that I don't know Ben Franklin discovered electricity down there and one time I think I've talked about this before but I hooked up with a gal in Kentucky Louisville home of Muhammad Ali and Diane Sawyer and she had a would look like a paintbrush coming right out of the butthole just a couple of bristles yeah and they were straight as an arrow oh so you mean a I think like a used brush like I had reds and blues and greens and wow this was fresh from Michael's art supply store right out of their

hot fresh dark erect and real bristle sprouts yeah yeah just shooting I mean you know the it looked like Hitler's mustache just going outward wow like it was hiling yes yes yes it was well that's yucky I mean that sounds like a bonsai trap it was tough but you know hey you know what the hell I was 18 beers in and she was a nice lady and we had a great night together and yeah it was just just one of those things you know some people have a crazy cow lick or whatever and I think she had a butt lick wow well I mean I enjoy licking bud but not one with thorns on it I mean it was only like seven hairs but they were just really brazen yeah it's hard to get upset about that because that's uh that's that's mother nature being a mad scientist I mean it's hard to get in there and

and fix those hairs you gotta go to a shop and who knows how expensive that is that's gotta be triple digits I imagine and look no complaints here I was I'm not I'm not knocking not knocking the foliage I'm just saying uh it was it was uh unusual yeah I wonder if you got her in the winter if it falls out maybe it's seasonal oh yeah yeah almost like a snake shedding its skin or something right comes and goes snake butt yes snake but indeed I mean she was a python whore but I feel like if you put a couple of eraser shavings down and she did a few squats and wiggles and twerks you could sweep that into a pan all right what are we doing here um well I mean uh that's that's some kooky business but uh I gotta tell you a story here I gotta I got one story I mean

I feel like I'm a little light on business here I got one story too sorry yeah yeah I'd like to hear it well this one I think is gonna upset you it upset me so I don't want to preface it with you know you're gonna be upset because I want to get your natural reaction but I know you pretty I don't want to is it is it a is it a tear jerker or just a dick jerker no no it's a like uh it's one of these I'm nervous I'm about to give you a a fist yes give you one of those here fist me so I go over you know Gary Veter a new dad frequently oft mentioned fella on the show here we love our little a little Veter the little the little guy you know good egg great egg and he's all leaned up I mean this guy he went over to

jersey he's got a brother-in-law that's like you know one of those he's like the exercise guy with the mullet what was that guy's name oh Tony little he's one of these Tony littles I mean he's doing push-ups and burpees and squats I mean Veters ripped well he's he's Gary little so that works out but he was always a little stop he was always a little stern like he had a good beef to him already but I think he cut the booze out he's a dad now I think he's just doing mini pull-ups all day they're both wearing pull-ups yeah I don't know what he's doing but I mean he's little he shaved his head I mean looks like a little convict he's he's all broad and ripped and I just want to fuck him I want to hold him down and fuck him against his will that's how good he is I'm picturing

like a little Jewish max is it max cherry he's just doing the weights in the cell with the the tats on his back you know wait no that's max katie katie katie max cherry is the bell bondsman from Jackie brown that's the one nicely the robert forester yes yes um so who's just passed away did reaches philben die I heard that just now just across the wire I heard a little man that's a bummer I mean he's a guy I thought would go forever I think he was 88 I gotta get I gotta be honest here I don't want to break up the party but I don't really give a shit about philben I like philben I like him on Seinfeld but other than that he's a little much no that guy's boncos but I will say I when I was younger and I moved to New York the first week I said I'm going to

letterman you know was free to go to letterman and you got I got tickets on letterman was Bill Clinton and reaches philben and it was fucking killer killer I was gonna say the next words out of my tits were gonna be he was fun on letter because he was on there he might have been like the most often get because they just I think he was across the street or up the stairs or down the hatch they would just come over yeah yeah and but here's the clinker this is what kicked me right in the taint they go all right thank you we're all applauding letterman's out there he goes that was a great show thanks for coming out tomorrow night Larry David I went oh you come guys like Nazi what do you do to me one day off oh that's brutal brutal but yeah philben I like he's fine

but he's 88 I mean if he was 41 and I would have been like oh no kidding oh that stinks but I don't have enough energy to give to read just philben right now I hear you I hear you you know what I mean I mean we got climate change and the whatever's and the whatever the what's the thing called COVID pandemic yeah it's a pandemic and no one has any money and the whole thing and the money's about to run out yada yada I mean philben I can't put any I can't give him any of my points all right all right well fuck philb yeah I hope he's in hell rotting to death I mean whatever I didn't know he was 88 that changes everything but he was just always so spry and he had a full head of fake hair and he's from the Bronx and he was always energetic I don't know it seemed like he

had a couple more decades left like a big apple pie now I'm sorry he's dead I feel bad now now I feel like a real jerk who cares but Vita's doing great he's alive and well speaking of death should we give a little shout out to our pal Dr. J. Sute I mean that's a guy you feel sad for he was about 48 this guy yeah that's a guy you can put some energy into this is a sweetest guy Connecticut pediatrician he opened for me once and you a time or two I don't know and just one liner guy had the wacky ties and so nice and lovey and helpful he loved Tuesdays he was a huge Tuesday patreon queef status I mean we went to his house I swam in his pool we did a queef together that should be out there somewhere and would he get cancer yeah it's a whole gaggle of

brain tumors like yeah I mean I think we talked about it back when it happened but yeah he called me up on the phone he I texted him he didn't respond then he called twice two missed calls and I'm going oh it's on the phone are you gonna be shitting me you're just calling me up on the phone that's insane and then he texted I'd really like to talk to you Mr. List and that made me like oh Jesus I guess I gotta call the guy yeah and you know he was a real nervous Nelly he sounded all quivery and was like yeah I got a handful of brain tumors inoperable and I'll see you later I'm dying and it's fascinating yeah to have someone be like yeah that's the end take care I know and but huge huge Tuesday and it wasn't exactly a healthy guy a lot of smoking and smoking but

junk food great guy and then I went back through all of our messages and texts quite touching it's weird to read long conversations with somebody that's dead yeah yeah I know they're just up and gone all of a sudden it's time is a real cunt and I you know he was one of those guys were like he was a fan but he was also a comic so is that weird line like being in his house I remember being like what am I doing here but also I like this guy but also this is this too much are we too close but also I'm having fun yeah it was a weird thing and then you called him and you're like you better call this guy and you know obviously I don't want to call anybody but I was like ah fuck it and we talked well he talked for like an hour and I just sat there and I remember coming

back in the room and my gal was like what the hell was that yeah I haven't seen in three days I was like that's the whole thing but even in my head I didn't think he was gonna go it's so funny because when you're said come back in the room I picture you putting the phone down and leaving the room doing some stuff coming back and he's still going but uh yeah I mean it's uh it's weird just like that and it's like these these folks we talked about this before I'm sure when people die that you don't see all the time it's strange because you forget that they're dead yes yes you know what I mean it's like we were seeing Dr. J every fucking every every other day so right right yeah it was weird but uh yeah huge Tuesday I mean this guy was a gay some of the

messages I went through all of our messages through the years and some of them were like hey the episode's not up what's and it's like six thirty in the morning wow yeah it was weird so and and huge patreon and like you said he's on a couple patreons you can go here and uh yeah sweet sweet guy but uh I made a post about him I tried to say that I'm like don't you don't have to give me a big I'm so sorry condolences I'm not devastated you're just like ah that's a bummer I mean in fact that it was sad when I had the the talk and it's sad that he's that he's gone obviously but uh you know I don't want people to think that uh my world is crumbling or uh right oh god it was just one of those ones we were like ah good guy and bummer bummer and I hate to be a a chute here but

I think a lot of people sometimes will use a death in their life to get some high fives and some noogies and some blikes and queeps and retweets and I'm like you weren't going for that you just had a nice thing to say and you made your piece and you move on yeah I got a few texts which were nice but they're like I'm so sorry and I'm like oh no I'm at the beach I'm okay yeah but uh you know he's got some daughters and uh that sucks and uh and and he's a pediatrician so all these kids doctor died how strange is that that's so sad yeah and I think he had an ex-wife that really really screwed his asshole uh hard on some some cash ah yeah so but uh good guy so so long doc and thanks for the queeps and for uh all the love and the the laughs funny guy yes

great job uh but anywho so Gary Veter is alive and he's a neighbor love the guy he's got a little little sun over there about the same size and by the way the sun is quite portly this uh oh really have you seen a photo of the kid not not a new one no I just saw him right when he had the placenta all over him oh he's uh he's a jumbo baby this kid's like uh he's playing offensive tackle for the uh the Veters I guess but uh he's a fat shit but uh he's a nice looking baby and good looking guy sexy Veter so the other day I always text him and you never want to bother guy because he's busy and the baby's sleeping and his wife and whatever yeah and so I just I don't want us every day go hey are you around but I'm always walking by his house every

day sure so I'll text a lot and say I'm walking by if you're around don't sweat and I just tell him open invite I'm always around the neighborhood walking around so we've seen each other a few times the other day I was walking and I bump into him and now I didn't recognize him at first because he shaved his head and he's all ripped plus the masks so you don't know who's who so he's got the mask on and some groceries and I went Gary it was kind of like Gary Fogle yeah um I go Gary he's like hey and he's in a daze like he's like completely out of his mind because he's up all night raising the baby wiping the ass you know keeping the pussy the whole thing oh yeah big fan so he goes let me drop these uh groceries off my house is right here and then I'll go walking

and I'm like all right you of course you have to do the thing of like drop them off come back down don't give me no I'm standing out here for 45 minutes you know how people do you know those people that are like I'm gonna run upstairs yes then they make a sandwich they take a shit they take a shower yeah yeah come on exactly they put on their heels so we go over there and it's a thunderstorm coming so I'm like we gotta make this quick he goes upstairs he lives in a fancy building he was doing very well pre-covid wow yeah they had a business they used to own a business but uh so he goes upstairs and I'm just standing this is a nice building doorman brand new building wow I'm sitting there and these two you know when you just see a cuntie couple you can tell

their cuntie their vehicle they have like a huge what's it called like a uconn like those huge vehicles sure I think that's a big gas guzzler like an explorer like just like a big thing nice new shiny you can tell they're they're they're loaded you know yeah and they're bringing out all these you know yeti coolers and fancy suitcases they got a baby of their own the stroller and they're just kind of fancy pants types gotcha a little well to do yeah I don't like a fancy pants type I know you don't it strikes a chord with your uh poor upbringing yeah I don't like it I don't like the fancy pants so they're doing all fancy pants and I'm just standing there and they kind of give me the crook eye because I'm standing there it's COVID I don't live there they're like

who's this guy just hang out right and I don't want to be like I'm waiting for my friend I just kind of you guys do your thing I didn't like their vibe I hear you I smell you so then we're standing there they're packing their car all of a sudden the car pulls up two guys sexy guys in a shirt no tie nice slacks handgun on the on the belt and some handcuffs I've said this before a suit with a hand gun is just a sexy look that's a good I'm moist I'm wet it's like an undercover cop but you're kind of above it you're like a you're like a cop with some dignity and sophistication you're not just like the fat guy with the donut yes an inspector yes gadget or a uh what's the other one not inspector but detective detective yeah so somewhere in between there so I mean I think different

what do you call it police precincts call it different things sure and this town you're an inspector in that town you're a detective same shit whatever so they pull up they jump out they go up to the door and I'm a little turned on but a little mystified because it's two dudes with handguns on their belt and one's asian sexy asian the other one's like kind of mookish okay we got an asian on a mook well we're fucking through so they come up and they try to open the door but they can't get in the guys like trying to hit call they're a little frantic he's like you live here the asian didn't do any talking he was the he was a ninja he was silent and he went the other guy's like hey you live here and I was like no no I'm just waiting for my buddy

he's like who live here anyone live here and I was like well my buddy's about to come down he's about to come downstairs like any second he'll let you in and the other couples just stand in there and they got their arms folded they're just kind of watching what's this about you know giving to a little little stink eye again they gave me the stink eye and now they're giving them the stink eye why don't they'll go up to their fucking house what are the what are these weirdos doing well they're unpacking for a big trip it feels like aha but I don't know why they don't go back in they're skeptical so then I see Vita I go here's my buddy so I thought this would be funny Gary's coming out he sees two like federal agents waiting and as soon as he opens the door I go get

him I thought was really funny but Vita it turns out he's on edge he hasn't slept he has a baby you know there's guns BLM everything's happening so he doesn't know what's going on maybe a little ganja happening as well exactly so he's a little nervous and I was like oh so I felt bad right away because I could tell he was like yeah the guy goes out you live here and he's like yeah he's like is there a concierge a doorman or something and and Vita's like wow there's a door guy but he's not here right now and he's like was the super here does he live on site and Gary's like no he doesn't he's like but I have his number if you need his number and so he's helping out now all of a sudden this is this chaps my asshole hmm the explorer douche remember those guys yes yeah

Rockefeller he yells from 20 feet away you got a warrant that doesn't this bother you yeah he's seen a movie or two huh he's watching too many films he's a fucking douche do you have a warrant you're like he's not searching your apartment it's two fucking cops that are just asking for the surveillance camera right this isn't a fucking issue it's not a fucking police abuse they're not coming into your home and checking your underwear drawer you'd fucking douche yeah they just what that and I want that we don't even worry about it that he just wants to talk to the fucking guy you don't yeah we need a warrant to talk to a guy I know and we could be solving a rape or a murder here like stay out of it dickless well so here's the thing so then the the mook guy his mask is all

falling off he can tell he's like we gotta wear these goddamn masks like a bunch of queers and it's always he's got one of those masks it's like hanging over here like you can see his lips and his nose I'm sure he's a penis but he's like I need a warrant do I need a warrant and the guy that said it like all these types just folds oh and he goes I he goes you want me to catch the guy that slashed the woman the other night oh some woman was slashed in front of Sunswick Bar on 35th Avenue here in Astoria slashed Mark like guns and roses slashed up not even stabbed but slashed wow that's even scarier so they're trying to get this guy and they're like you know these two detective people are just trying to catch a guy who's running around slashing women with a knife

and taking their shit yes and they're like oh maybe maybe shot in the dark slashing the dark maybe they're there is on film on this fucking street let's go see if we can get the cameras of this building yes fucking douche do you have a warrant yeah he's like he goes well do you want me to catch this guy and the the kid goes well you didn't say that I just like we gotta tell you everything fuck off I hated this guy I hate him and so you know Vita gave the number and we just you know what we walked to Starbucks and uh and Port Gary was like did I do the wrong thing he's like is that guy mad should I've done this because he just walked into the situation I yelled get him yeah he's got two two dicks with uh cops dick like detective dick and maybe dicks also

private dick dick and then this other guy yeah so now he's got some people in his house mad at him for giving the number of the super to the detectives who are trying to catch a guy who's slicing women open with a knife he's slashing gash but here's the clinker I mean this guy's gonna go back up to his giant penthouse apartment with his yeti cooler and his Birkenstocks and he's gonna go fucking cops down there I think they can do whatever they want they're all pricks they're like what about you well he also thinks I stood up to him like I just hate the mindset I hate the attitude of like I know what to do here these cops and you know I'm not saying the cops aren't fucking abusive and doing horrible things in certain situations no question about that I'm not talking

about the greater police thing but this idea of like hey you got a war just like just you're in the way yeah you're in the way I don't need a warrant to have a conversation with the fucking door guy at a building yes yes about trying to solve a serious crime here fatty get out of the way I'm like let's get this guy I live in this neighborhood I walk around my wife walks around she's a woman I would rather not die if him looking at your fucking dumb surveillance camera and your stupid building is gonna help me not get sliced open with a knife how about you give him the fucking video I know well he wanted to be he read one article on defunding the police and he wanted to make a stand and he stinks and those video cameras are so clutch because when I got robbed

they kept being like don't worry this is the west village we'll just find we'll find them on the tapes and they walked around the whole building they're like I've never I don't think I've ever come across a building in the village that had no cameras if we had a camera we could catch this guy tonight and I was like damn that sucks so thank god for these cameras well well I I appreciate it's high it's one of those tricky matters where everyone's watching us and big brother and yada yada but sometimes you're like I hope someone was watching that incident well I'll tell you one thing you gotta want to get on the patreon folks it's bigot of incidents because we've been cleaning up with Stavros and now we have Dan Soder on the last one that Soder app was like that was a

butter baby it all just flowed that was something smooth about that episode I mean Stavros was great too but that Soder one was magical the Soder one was great we had a lot of great topics we talked about who would bring back to life for a day and who what what year we'd travel to and who'd want to fuck if we were gay and it was some great conversation good stuff Soder was in a good mood and just one of the funniest guys ever obviously oh yeah and you me and Stavros had a hell of a debate on if Cher is hot and oh yeah that was good that was fun and not to mention the live episodes and all the queefs and the bonuses so get on there and we got the cheapest patreon in town I might add you got that right and we just lost Jay Sute so we got a lot of shoes

to fill folks yeah pick up the slack for him yeah and you know things are kooky right now we got a pandemic we got women getting slashed so what you're gonna want to do is get yourself some feels CBD yes sir Tuesdays of stories is brought to you by feels FEALS CBD do you experience stress have anxiety or chronic pain or have trouble sleeping at least once a week well you're not alone many of us do I can't sleep my head sucks my brain is evil I take a little CBD just a few droppers right on the old soup cooler and I am just off to the races snoozing I love it it calms me down but it doesn't get you high which I hate I'm not I'm not good with the high the weed I'm bad news but CBD I love makes me feel a lot better I was searching for anything that would

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automatically taken off excuse me for your first order with free shipping one more time it's FEALS dot com slash Tuesdays and FEAL better and another thing you might want to do and uh you if you're listening to the show you know that uh mark and I are big fans of therapy we love it Tuesdays with stories is now brought to you by talk space yes change is constant and these days there is something new and unprecedented to grapple with every single day it's a lot you gotta talk it out with someone now folks obviously we're a couple of real nuts and uh we started going to therapy oh a few years ago and uh I've dabbled in therapy throughout as a kid I was in child therapy and then as uh in my teens and then again in my 20s and now I got the best therapist of all

time although he's going through some some business but anyways if you want a therapist and I know a lot of you do you can go to talk space it's online therapy that's here to give everyone support because we all need it right now they'll match you with a licensed therapist who you'll be able to reach out to 24 seven that's right whenever something is on your mind you'll hear back five days a week you know anything about this folks I mean uh Mark no but I mean this guy must be these guys must be Tuesdays because this is right up our alley this is such great stuff I love it I mean we're big therapy nuts as you said and this is such an easy convenient way to do it you don't have to meet some weird guy in a in an office on 72nd street

so this is hot stuff I like it we all need someone to talk to and talk space wants to give us the license support we deserve at a price we can afford just for our listeners you can get $100 off your first month with code Tuesdays to match with your perfect therapist to go to Talkspace.com or download the app and use code Tuesdays to get $100 off your first month that's Tuesdays at Talkspace.com thank you yeah go check it out and by the way don't forget we have a patreon thing where if we get to 3000 patrons we're gonna do an audio commentary for the film Stranger by the Lake the gay porn thriller Hitchcock Ian and I think we're at like what are we at 2928 something 28 and change if we can get a hundred people to join up for this thing you're

gonna get a hell of a I mean treat I mean you haven't seen the film it's gonna be really something I'm seeing it with fresh eyes fresh hymen and uh hitch you put the cock and hitchcock I can't wait I want to watch it I want to talk to you about it I want to I want to fuck so this will be a good time I've always dreamed of watching a man come while sitting with you holding hands you know hey hey well I have a dream too and uh we can make that happen yeah someday this nation will reach out and come on its own back yes now I got a I got a humdinger to throw at you there fatty boom baddie and tell me what you think about this all right I'm ready all right so my gal my lady my gf my main squeeze she has been getting accosted on the street quite a bit uh-oh not slashed I hope

no slash no gash but she's something about her she's very non-threatening like she's a jolly new england whore you know she's got a big lollipop and a bow in her hair and she's skipping down the lane and so I think people see her and they go she's ironically she's a mark you know she's a target I don't know what it is but she gets it all the time like every day she comes back like this guy did this to me this guy did that to me so I'm always like yeah you gotta keep your wits about you I'm worried just just put a puss on when you walk down the street just kind of like grimace just do something because you're too chipper you're too nice you're too cute something's up people go directly towards her and fuck with her so we had the we had the mother load last week uh-oh oh nope nope

all right I thought would you get a boner you move the pillow no I'm just shifting I'm getting ready for the uh mother load so she's walking down 6th avenue and there's a gaggle of hobos these hobos are getting brazen in the pandemic because they got the streets the streets are theirs I know and there's more of them because people are getting evicted and uh you know I think there might be some problems in this country yeah it's gonna get even worse I think if the pan keeps cooking but either way she's she's skipping down uh 6th avenue with a with a jump rope and a teddy bear and this guy is with a gaggle and he's holding a disheveled fucked up tuna sandwich like clearly out of the garbage half eaten got a maggot on it a fly and a cigarette butt stuck in it

and he's walking by her and she's like well that's weird and he's got like six six hobos in tow towbo and he walks by her and he goes oh and he hits her shoulder and he goes oh he drops the sandwich and he goes oh that cost me 17 dollars oh look what you did you know it's the worst acting in history it's an old oldest grift in the book that's the grift it's a tuna grift yes too much tuna so now she's like oh jeez like I don't what am I an idiot I don't know what's going on here but you got the white lady with the cute skirt on you got the old black guy with a no tuna and a and a gaggle I mean it doesn't look good bad gaggle yeah and she's got no gaggle reflex and so these guys are in the back going like oh this guy's he loved that tuna he was hungry boy was really looking

forward to that sandy holy hell what'd you do lady you've ruined everything and now she's going jeez I got a gaggle here I feel bad the tuna the hobo Karen you know so she's in a in an awkward position so she's like all right so she pops open the wallet takes out a tenski and she gives it to the guy oh the gaggle grift I mean it's fun to know that the grifts are coming back into the city I mean that's kind of fun it's nostalgia I guess what are we gonna do a pick pocket we're gonna have a three card money like where's it gonna end here what are we gonna put a bucket of water over the doorway it falls on you it's it's getting out of hand it's 2020 she's getting the sandwich grift I mean even the slash feels old school who's trashes anymore that's a

good point well I picture them with the butterfly knife you know that switch blade yeah we're living on the set of the sting over here we got slashes and grifts and fucking fake mustaches I don't know what's going on I know I know this guy had a pork pie hat and a weird cigar a little pipe thing and he had overalls on and a you know twig in his mouth with a stick with a bag on it he was like oh lordy be ma'am that was my only tuna I look forward to that tune all day so what could she do because I was like don't give the guy any money you know she told me about it later and she's like I had to they were they were eyeballing me the the gaggle was eyeballing wow I wonder what would have happened if no money because it probably would just be

some verbal business I mean who knows I guess but it's better to just give the money worth it to just get out of there unscathed right yeah I felt so bad though I felt like a weird dad because she called me and she's like oh this happened to me it was so annoying this guy's a piece of shit blah blah blah but I only brought cash she was going to buy her lunch she's working from home so she was going to buy a lunch like a little school kid and they took her lunch money and so I had to come down and buy her a burrito oh boy these are strange times and uh I think it's gonna get worse before it gets better it's it's kooky times people are gonna get evicted they're saying now and they got like we got a couple days before the money runs out and I know I know

unemployment's over and all that and there's this 18th wave coming and Katrina and the waves and the green wave it's it's brutal I think this is still the first wave that's what's crazy about the waves oh boy well ah I could wave joke but um wave here goodbye um wavy gravy oh there you go surfs up uh yeah way ways that's uh it's an app yeah everyone pushes ways I don't give a fuck I got google maps it's fine I don't get it I like google maps as well sometimes it'll get wonky on you but ways it's too cartoony it's very Asian I feel like I'm playing a game I don't like it like Dunkin Donuts is like wiggling I don't know it's too goofy yeah they're telling you but the cops I don't I don't need the cops I've never been a speeder I don't have a thing I don't have a need

to know where there's a cop you don't have a need for speed I mean they're just like heads up there's a cop on 28 I'm like I'm doing 28 miles an hour I got my hands on 10 and two and my dick is soft I'm fine I'm wearing shoes you know it's fine I don't mind the cop thing because what if you're what if you're late for a gig you're howling ass down the highway you know you're like oh that's good to know I guess it's just uh it just makes me nervous I'm like cop ahead I'm like shit I always slam on the brakes even if I'm doing the right temperature or whatever it's called volume yeah yeah channel yeah speed um great film yeah too sucked never saw it but uh hey speaking of films I know we talked about this on the queef but um you watched that uh what the fuck's it called

palm springs I did yes that's a hell of a picture very nice picture I told you it took me about a you know a 10 spot to get cooking I was like oh this is silly are we doing just doing a groundhog day rip off because I'm a groundhog douche I love the Bill Murray I love Harold Ramis so at first I I fought it but you hang in there and it really strokes you down oh yeah I fought as well I didn't know Sam Samberg was involved I'm not a huge fan in fact I would say the opposite but he he kept it kept it between uh you know kept it kept it all right and uh just well written fun funny nice a lot of buddhism in there it was quite delightful a lot of zen yeah uh JK Simmons is always good and uh yeah good time and it just built and built and built and

he almost didn't want it to end and also the movie's like 10 minutes long if you if you look it up it's like I think it's like 87 minutes I love an 87 minute movie and uh in and out just delightful it brought joy to my heart and uh come to my ass I just really loved it and um I'm also I think I've talked about it this I'll be gone in the dark I just think is fantastic I keep hearing great I can't do it it's too dark no pun and anal it's just too uh that's heavy shit we're dealing with there and I'll do it but I don't know it's a pan damn uh my ass is bleeding the hobos tuna I mean it's the things are a little quacky right now and I need a minute well it's very scary take your time no rush but it's a very frightening show in fact I might say it's the scariest show I've ever watched because

it puts you in there it's got weird music and it's fucking with me mentally I'm watching and it's about a guy that breaks into houses and and fucks the women and uh you know beats them to death with logs and wow they would tie the guy up and then put dishes on their back because if I hear these dishes I'm gonna kill your wife you know oh god all my you know as much as we get shit all day long on youtube and whatnot can you imagine the being the woman in that situation and and dealing with that and then going on and living a full life after that I couldn't live well there's this one couple in their sweetest pie I mean it really gave me the feels not the CBD oil the fe e ls mls um d a ls is it mls what's m oh that's the soccer a ls is the disease

yes ice ice is bucket someone might argue that mls is a disease also that league stinks oh there's ms oh ms right then there's ms 13 yes they seem multiple sclerosis multiple sclerosis then there's major league soccer ms 13 I don't know what that is that's the uh Hispanic gang on the west coast I mean I know what it is I'm saying I don't I think they're in Long Island too oh they're branching but I don't know what it stands for is what I mean ah yes yes midsummer 13 I don't know maybe that's what he lost his virginity who knows but yeah that's that's something to google give that a goog maybe it's Spanish maybe it's you know Miyagi Sayonara yeah me oh sosa Catorza I don't know as he trace but okay so what were we talking

about oh yeah so anyways the guy breaks in and they're talking all about it and they do the the music and they have like audio tape of the guy being like I'm going to kill you what and uh yeah it's fucking crazy where do they get that what's a guy on a zoom call now he's leaving voicemails back in the day oh man and he did it for years and it's spooky and creepy and wild and uh I can't I can't do it I'm watching it I'm getting the the spookers and the creepos I gotta put naked gun on as soon as it ends I'm like all right that was amazing but give me some naked gun for a few minutes before bedtime because otherwise I'm like Vern and stand by me when he when he keeps watched by the campfire every noise I'm fucking pointing my gun at it of course I would need every

light on I would have to watch that in the day at night time I picture a creepy nightcrawler coming up the window sill of the fire escape and blowing me I couldn't handle it well here's the thing too because it's summertime we only have one ac in the bedroom the living room is like a fucking frying pan it's brutal in there so we got the windows open and the curtains pull back so we can get any breeze so it's just I'm just waiting for someone to pop in the screen and with the ac on it's too loud you see you can't hear I mean someone could come in my back window and just make themselves at home and that's what this guy did he would make himself at home and drink your milk and eat your cupcakes not the milk and fuck your wife also which is you know kind of hot

you could use it but uh it's a spooky show but then it also tells the story of uh the woman McNamara who's Tommy's aunt which is crazy wow I just talked to him the other day yeah great guy funny guy and um and she's like super cool and interesting and they have phone calls and texts between her and her husband and then now knowing she passed away so you know that she's going to pass away and so you realize she's in her final moments in these phone calls I mean it is gripping and touching and uh it's a hell of a program I'm gonna go so far as to say this is bold oh boy everyone knows Jinx is my number one all-time television program oh boy besides ScienceFell which is a different it's not even a program it's its own different anal so this is

I'm gonna put this as number two I'm passing making a murderer and sucking my dick and all the strangle your wife what all all these bullshit shows nothing comes close to the Jinx people keep telling us the staircase like that was gonna compete with the Jinx I'm like get out of here with that shit below my dad that's done though so I'm putting this number two staircase all right wow number two huh number two numero do so I'm gonna guess it's better because if the Jinx didn't have the tweak at the end how great would it be no no the the last episode was the Jinx my least favorite everything about that show the music the mother and the thing and the waves and the it's spooky and it's so fascinating and funny and weird and fucking the Jinx is the best Jinx is king

I don't know I don't know Fanny we'll we'll discuss this on a on a on another day but another gay you know it's weird and I know I have this obviously because the the wire the Sopranos and I have to just say the shows are great I understand they're great they're not for me there you go I don't care for the medium which I've been saying for years I don't like it but it's so fascinating because some guy messaged me and wrote to me and said the show that show I'll be gone in the dark is the worst piece of shit I've ever seen that woman sucks and her ego is quite a and you're watching I'm watching going what yeah you ever have that when you watch something and then somebody tells you this is garbage and

you're like how how how can that be you don't like her I know so fascinating to me I find that mind-boggling but I guess it's what makes life jizzy is because people have different thoughts variety spice of life queef it up like I'm such a psycho I'll read every review on my every comment on my special and one comment I'll be like this is genius level comedy this guy's awesome and the next best will be like this guy is so bad this is the least funny thing I've ever seen this guy should kill himself and I'm like man these are right on top of each other it's so interesting yeah I mean that's I guess that's what the arts are all about and uh I guess I mean some guys want a dong in their mouth and some guys do too and yeah it's uh I mean I guess it makes sense because

what if you were in love with my wife or I was in love with your wife or 20 people were in love with your wife and now you got to fight off all them like you like your wife he likes his wife you know it's good that we have different thoughts yeah I mean definitely it's just interesting because you want to have a dialogue of like because everything's so short now it's tweets Instagram text and you're like give me a full thing of you watch this and thought this woman's a piece of shit this thing's a piece of shit I'm like mind-blowing but uh I think it's a hell of a program yeah yeah well speaking of programs I think we gotta we gotta probably plug you we should plug your spec well I don't have an official release date yeah but it's coming I thought you

did sorry it's uh I do but it's not uh you know what I mean it's not a thing yeah so I don't know what the fuck who's it's coming I could tell you this my uh 2015 half hour is on YouTube which is exciting yeah Tommy Central just threw that back up there so you can go check that out and uh people are commenting on that this is 20 minutes it's 20 minutes I'm like the name of the show is the half hour it had commercials they took the commercials out it's 20 minutes I'm sorry I guess it's kind of a compliment because they're like oh I wanted more or this is too short but still it's like hey it's a tv program that's how that's how that's gone for 70 years these commenters they're brutal and I just I'm so grateful for the people that are nice people send you messages

they're just normal they're like hey congrats on the car it's a good car it's gonna be great congrats you're a good person see you later you're like hey thanks man yeah I know I'm at the Kansas City Improv and some guy last night was like huge to his gay I love both of you guys I'm out and he's like I know you guys hate talking and I was like what a good egg yeah you'll like appreciate that well some guy I mean I shouldn't talk about this because it's so negative and I get all worked up but some guy commented on my Instagram I was like this you beg for money from the patreon but yet you buy a car in full and I'm like I bought a fucking used Nissan Sentra I'm not riding around like like and can I just say the patreon you're purchasing material it's it's a

you're not donating money to us right right yeah this content this idea yeah you're you're listening to a free show every week for years hours and hours and hours of free entertainment and we mentioned for one minute at the end of the show for five dollars a month you can get way more material of this thing are you emailing Netflix whose actual billionaires being like hey fuck you you bought a car I bought a used car I'm a poor person who made enough money over the course of five years I've made money for five years of my life my parents are poor I was poor my electricity got shut off I fucking gambled a whole life no security I live with three roommates and a 14 foot by seven foot room for nine years I fuck you you fucking loser yeah it's so fucking

crazy to me I'm not begging for money I'm mentioning that if you'd like similar to Netflix and Hulu which you have nine of cable I'm sure you do all this shit you can get more shit you fucking douche yes here here I mean yeah it's so funny I think people people expect us to be loaded I'm like we got specials on YouTube you can put a special on YouTube it pays shit I'm getting yelled at on the road because I'm doing gigs I gotta pay the rent I'm a road comic this is my income so yeah thank god for the patreon thank god for uh porn and and joe was witnesses and all that but yeah it's tough out there we're trying to make it work and we're yeah if you don't have money don't join the patreon I know no one's making you join the patreon enjoy your tons of free

entertainment yeah yeah here here don't get covid I know it's like it's so funny to me I mean someone pointed it out in the comments to him but I'm like it's a centra it's used yeah it's like I'm not I'm not fucking rolling in it and I bought it with savings I had a bunch of money saved up from the fucking four years I made money yeah and I don't want to park up your ankle but I think you went stock right that that ain't fully loaded no I don't even know what the fuck it is I wanted a car I got a car and I'm saying it's not leather it's not heated seats it's no sunroof it doesn't have a you know a change purse or a cup holder yeah it's a whatever car and uh meanwhile I'm like half these patreons these guys are making 90 grand a day I mean I don't

know what the fuck's going on here I know Jesus I also have a wife that makes no money my family doesn't make money I spread the money around I'm a fucking I'm like just fucking eat my shorts you loser I mean I haven't heard that term since 88 I love it it's just goofballs and again it's like the American dream I'm like I'm like a fucking blue collar guy that pushed all his chips in and made some fucking dick jokes that people seem to like and I got enough money to buy a used car I'm like a fucking springsteen song and you're like ah get out of here you're fucking rich cut I've gotten a couple messages like that by the way really yeah and I'm like go fucking beat it meanwhile my partner over here just bought a second Greenwich Village home I'm like go text you

renting renting all right well whatever the other one is uh pending so I'm hemorrhaging money I know but uh you know I'm like my fault but I gotta use car I'm getting shit like I'm fucking daddy warbucks over here I know have they seen your haircut what the hell my wife's cutting my hair I'm we're at the used fucking furniture store furnishing a fucking apartment oh yeah posh mart that's mark every I got 48 messages by the way it's posh mark evidently sorry I know I know I'm like what am I half a fucking you know what this took a turn huh I mean I got I'm inundated with messages posh mark you fucking loser whatever yeah I got 40 messages about that but anyways yeah I'm not rich I fucking doing the best I can out here yeah we're trying folks we're

all struggling this is uh the kooky time and who knows if we'll ever get out of it maybe we'll all just move to to Italy they seem to have it together are they better now because for a while they were like we don't want to be Italy yeah they were they were hurting I mean I saw a picture their graveyard they had to make for the covid people I was like good god that that was a touch of reality yeah it's you never know what's going on here because you know one day there's a freezer truck and an ice rink and then they don't mention the ice rink again who knows what's going on I don't know anything about ice I do know that uh ice bucket challenge but this is supposed to be the summer olympics supposed to be right now right but how much of a bummer is that what can you do well

we got baseball back I'm thrilled about that I was watching baseball last night and it was just good for the soul I felt it through my bones in my veins now batting I'm like I'm beating off yeah you feel it feels a sense of normalcy that's how I feel on stage or on a flight I'm like even though I'm wearing a mask it's just just a a cunt hair of of normalness yeah I just want normal I was in the park earlier just sitting there and there was people all around and it's just nice to be out with a nice breeze in your hair and uh it's so funny that everything's flipped I'm in New York now I'm like stay away from us right nobody come here like before it was like nobody everyone was like New Yorkers stay there don't right now it's flipped I'm like nobody come to

New York right now yeah yeah it's a fucking big fat bummer town and I I wanted to to go back and also just the internet is getting so angry because I think people are just pent up and fucking rage fueled and people are running out of money and the computer's right there so it just it's all a bummer it's all bad news right what but I heard some the HDC or HQ or ABC somebody has a fucking treatment coming and then someone else has a vaccine coming January 2021 something not I think there's good things coming I hope I can't I can't come I can't get it up I can't I can't buy in any more of it because I get my hopes up and they go hey the vaccine if you cut into it it's actually a cake and things are getting better and uh I think we'll be out of this and

Fauci's gay and he's throwing the first pitch out and then they go two weeks later they go everything fell through Donald Trump took a shit on a woman's chest and Baron is dead and the White House is crumbling it like Biden's off the rails I don't know what to believe yeah the news is no good you can't watch it every once in a while and like let me just dip in see what's shaking and uh whoo it is ugly yeah it's a bummer the whole thing will be I think we'll be fine they're gonna get a bill get some more uh stimulus is going and I think that uh you know we'll figure it out it's downtime this is what this is what it's uh it's a hard time yes yes hard time well what do you know about the Hong Kong flu Hong Kong flu I don't know what that is in the 1969 there was

the Hong Kong flu it killed about a million people this is during Woodstock this is during MLK well that was he died in 68 but it was you know it's shit's going down you never saw one photo of a mask or anything big pandemic yeah I don't know I don't know much about that uh isn't that weird just there's a huge pandemic kills a million people just comes and go no one brings it up no one your parents lived through it they never mentioned it but did it kill a million people in China or Hong Kong no worldwide interesting because I don't I couldn't have killed that many people in America because no I really heard of it because we did hear of 1918 certainly I'm aware of that yeah that one killed way more it's just weird that this one this one caught and and is is so crazy and

killing everybody but the other one in 96 and I just kind of came and went nobody nobody talks about it hmm I gotta do some research I don't I don't know much about it give it a google let me know what what sticks up your urethra all right I'll do some googling we got to wrap it up here my back hurts like I gotta get a better place to podcast I sit in the bed and I slowly slouch yeah slouchy office chair is good stack a couple of books throw the laptop on a desk and uh take your pants off um well what do you got going on I got that Royersford gig this Friday holy shit I might drive to it it's uh me and Steve Rogers soul Joel comedy club and lounge and uh it's this Friday night and Royersford I can't say that word I guess I can but it's a weird

sounding name tough word yeah Royersford I'm there on August 5th so I'm gonna be uh picking your uh your butthole about how that goes and I hear it's killers John Donnelly said it was great and it's a good setup and socially quefy and all that so yeah I'm excited then I'm opening for Bert all over the drive-thru drive-in movie theater all over the country in the bus and you gotta check out his promo video on his instagram you haven't seen this guy I mean he's living the life he's out there shooting a bow and arrow he's whitewater rafting then he's hang gliding then the gigs look amazing everybody's tailgating all day and he's finger painting he's got his shirt off he's got a slingshot it just looks incredible uh I'll check it out I love Bert I

I'll have to reach out to him when this special comes out I gotta do that thing where you reach out to everybody you've ever met and asked to do their show and stuff hate the reach out but you gotta do it whoo it's tough I gotta I gotta tell you a funny story about this remind me to tell you after we get off air it's an off air story but it's a fun one I love an aos but um yeah big things coming join the patreon if you have the means yes don't yell at us for no reason you don't have to join the patreon you can get some enjoyment from us more of it and you'd also be helping us yes there you go no pressure no uh gun to your head there folks live your life and uh keep it classy yeah I also want to say thanks to the 75 people that message

me or like hey fuck that guy you're great one guy how about this one guy Venmo'd me and he's like here's 10 bucks for gas fuck that asshole enjoy the new car congrats I was touched I got a twinkle a tear in my eye that guy's a fucking mensch wow that guy I wish you knew his name we got to get my shout out and part of this by the way is all this internal thing of wanting to impress your parents you feel like an adult I've never made a decision and bought a thing or had money to buy anything and my first car I own a car I've driven nothing but hand me downs from dead grandparents I literally ran out of dead grandparents or I'm like I'll never have a car again because I have no other grandparents to die and then I get their shitty 87 Buick Century was my fucking previous

car you fuck stick and uh yeah you just feel good and so I get triggered because some asshole thinks I'm fucking you know uh fucking who's that guy that raped all the kids there he's in the news no no the kid's Epstein thinks I'm Jeffrey Epstein with my own private island right my own private Idaho but any jizz I'm back to that again sorry I got triggered no no I get it it's it's definitely hit a nerve in your in your cooter there I see yeah well I get anyways good for you you bought a car it's a huge accomplishment you should be proud of yourselves be happy and fuck that guy and drive like the wind I say fatty oh I'm driving baby but anyways uh I don't remember what I was gonna say but anything but uh check out uh my half hour on Comedy Central's YouTube

subscribe to my youtube and uh keep an eye out I'll be on some podcasts coming up and check out my other podcast Mindful Metal Jacket also free and uh doing a lot of work for free yep and um yeah check it all out and uh follow us on twitter instagram stream our old albums and you know that's it yeah and praise all on thanks for watching and tell a friend thank you and we'll see you in hell