Tuesdays with Stories! - #375 Bag Hands

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

We're back baby as Mark has a rainy end to his moped issues before having some hillbilly train troubles while Joe takes an accolade free cold water swim in Seattle. Check it out! Sponsored by: Native Deodorant (nativedeo.com/tuesdays.com or use code: tuesdays), Sheath Underwear (sheathunderwear.com code: tuesgays), & Away (awaytravel.com/tuesdays20) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays Get our new T-Shirts right here baby! remember2behappy.com/twsshop

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy rolling rolling rolling keep them puppies going raw dog hey folks that was the start I guess we're here we're we're back it's Tuesday Tuesday and it's a beautiful day beautiful day 72 degrees it was 70 yes I went to the

park yesterday I was sweating my fucking tits off I was laying out there it's November same sweating what the hell's going on Biden he changed the the climate yeah well this climate issues obviously but I'm enjoying them right now you know it's like what could I do we had a great day yesterday we missed you in the park yesterday a hell of a hang I saw the photos you had a good crew and but I boy I got I got a real real doozy of a reason why I wasn't there oh boy well you want to just jump into it or what do you want to do here well haven't talked in seven months and a day so I got I got to go way back same here I mean we

recorded last time we recorded I was in Seattle I mean it's a whole it's a whole new world it's a new fantastic point of view whatever the fucking words to that song is was that when I children take your clothes off remember that there was always that hidden message for the pedos or some shit all good teenagers take off their clothes that was it that was it I think yeah pull up that clip stick it in there put it in my ass and it's it's as true today as it was then okay have you have you gone back and looked cuz maybe it's a one of those mental fill in the blank things but I hear it clear as clear as gay yeah I mean the Disney movies

all have those there's sex in Lion King he pops down and it says it in the dust I mean that's clear I used to pause it and you can just see it and then there's the boner in Little Mermaid and you know the fist in Ariel or whatever I had bad improv skills there I couldn't think of another movie well it's hard to fist a mermaid it's a lot of Finn that's true and they never fin-ish hey I'm a boy oh I'm gonna fucking kill myself but anyways I feel great it was a great day in the in the city yesterday I mean packed in sheep meadow we've never had it more packed well I mean great group were playing can jam he and finances there he

was getting recognized we had what quite a crew I mean packed in the park and people were all it was it was it was quite a scene there it was it was a beautiful day beautiful moment and it was really something lovely day who was Ian getting recognized by the trannies out there under the overpass or with these fans these were fans and we're playing can jam so I was a few feet away and I was going hey Joe list over here what are you crazy finance come on and by the way I'm with Louie Louie was there I'm like you gotta be shitting me finance and no love for for me I mean Louie I get he's a pedophile

whatever he is but I mean come on are we getting we're getting top by finance this is brutal that's that's cuckoo bananas I don't like that one bit this town's gone topsy-turvy comedy wise where were my priorities are out of whack and off I mean I was yelling my credits Adam I was throwing Tuesdays with stories t-shirts with a cannon and nothing we stink so by the way what the hell's a can jam that sounds like what happens in a prison shower oh can jam is the best I mean first of all I just want to say I mean Ian is one of my favorite comics favorite guys of course he's getting recognized yada yada but

you get real little he looks like a cartoon to be honest you know like you could spot that guy I think he's in the game guess who you want to you want to get some love yourself but can jam is fun it's it's kind of like horseshoes or cornhole or all this shit you got a frisbee and there's like a little it looks like a trash barrel in fact someone threw trash in our can jam but it's a little you know bucket with a hole in it there's a little sliver out of the front of it and you throw the frisbee and your teammates smacks the frisbee into the can that's fun he jams it in the can and if you get in the slot you win but

no one ever does that if you hit the thing and it's quite a game we had some epic battles and people were getting competitive and some people suck at it and Ian and I were a team and we were like we were like Facebook they wanted to break us up because we were too good yeah those Jews they don't like a frisbee run on and all them that they didn't grow up with it they got a yarmulke which is close but no frisbee in their childhood well some of these guys you have to protect them because you know like I don't want to name names but certain people are throwing it and I'm like let me stand over here in front of this

family because one guy hit a family in the face like four times in a row a rosebud baker's dog check one to the snout and it was a bad scene well can jam sounds like a hell of a time I wish I was there I would have done that reference and nobody would have gotten it but you yeah would have been fun I would have said Keanu day or something I don't know I got I'm off cuz I'm too happy I gotta be miserable to do the pod well you got you got a president now the sun is shining silent re is gone death things are looking up I got silent re up my ass my throat is burning like my asshole on a Wednesday night but but still I

mean you know it's sunny it's blue skies I mean I had a great hang yesterday and good hang yet the day before Saturday was a great hang Sunday we had great hangs I had some great shows I worked all weekend and I'm dying to hear about Cleveland you're all over the fucking road here I mean I got I got a thousand things to shove in your pee hole well let's just let's just get cooking cuz we got ads we got aids we got a lot of stuff here so first off I'm getting a lot of hog questions everybody's like what's the hog saga what's going on with the hog what's the conclusion we need what's the what do you do what is that

uh what is that thing they always say women need not confirmation closure closure nailed it always be closure so hog was getting towed left and right it was getting diddled it was getting molested people are stealing five bike covers in 2020 five count them why do people say that why don't them you can count it I said five already why do you to count it I guess you go through you go there was the one in May that was crazy you were you were in May there's the one in July remember the October one there was the Thanksgiving what you know so that they gotta count them that way I think I think that's what they mean maybe

that's it well they should have done that in Nevada but either way lost five bike covers I'm getting up at the crack of jizz I got a sleep cap on and a boner I'm out on Sullivan Street moving the thing you know it's me and the hobos he's collecting cans I'm moving a hog so I said I put out some feelers a twos gay out in Astoria and your neck of the jizz he said bring it on over I got a gay Raj we'll put a cover on it we'll close the the fuel valve and leave that thing for the winter so I said you got it but then as you know I broke the break off some other things and you were mentioning how loud it was yes so I brought it in

and they go holy shit your baffles broken the battle I'm baffled what the hell you're talking about you know and he goes yeah you're you're basically your mufflers hanging off it was about to fall off it was shaking like so that's why was so loud oh it's probably cuz you're at the bath house yes so I was like I had no ideas like I re-welded it I put a new baffle on I got that puppy I picked it up it was like this sound like a quiff on wheels I could barely hear it it was a whisper in the night this thing is so quiet it's like an Asian woman doesn't speak and so I said okay it's it now it's raining and the the guy in Queens the

gay he goes I can only do it today I have a job I don't you know my life doesn't revolve around you and your dumb bicycle I said I understand sir so I pick it up at the the shop second stroke in Bushwick and I go all right boop boop boop boop boop Queens 44 minute ride cuz I have to avoid highways as you know this thing goes 40 on the you know on a good day so it's raining I throw on the earbuds I put on a little talking heads I hunkered down I got a jacket I zip up and I just whizz it on up there now this is a freezing cold day it must been like 33 degrees out and you know when you see the the delivery guys with

those big plastic mitts on their hands on the bikes oh yeah the bag hands the bag hands yes she had bag hands so I was like what's up with that well boy did I learn my lesson I just said fuck it I'm going all the way about 10 minutes into my 44 minute ride the rain's coming down the droplets the freezing wind my hands are beat red and they're throbbing they're going like whoa whoa whoa whoa I almost had hypothermia but I said I gotta press through cuz it's too cold I don't want to stop I just want to get it done finally get there after like 50 minutes of hauling ass me my hands were hurting so bad I first like it was that

weird thing when you can't feel them but they still hurt so I had to unzip my jacket and it's that weird thing your hands are numb and I'm grabbing the zipper on the jacket and you can see it happening but you don't feel it is that weird numb yeah that's brutal I mean it sounds like my relationship with my dad you can't feel it but it still hurts and I mean your hands are going whoa whoa whoa your boat I mean it sounds you know not a dream but yeah you know you know me I think I've mentioned it before I have rain ads I don't say it rainards rain ads or Ray Ray I got real I got I got some kind of Ray Ray Tard where your

hands they go numb fast my my hands and toes my extremities they turn white and like bony and freezing immediately it's like 50 degrees I can't feel my hands so I feel your pain stinging stinging like needles so I open the jacket I put them in the armpits I put them in my pants I had to like walk around the block because the pain was so bad so all these old ladies you know it's a story they're like you know some old Greek cunts like what's up with this fucking weirdo I've never seen him in the neighborhood before it's very residential and I'm just going yeah got it hurt so bad I did that for 10 minutes then I could finally

get my phone out of my pocket I call the guy he goes shit we're at lunch he comes by with his beautiful wife they let me in the garage it's so quaint you know these Queens people you guys live well you're happy over there everybody over here is hobo up their ass and a rat in their dick you guys are you guys you know you got garbage cans and a front door oh it's fantastic if we got a homeless guy in Queens it's rare but we just beat the shit out of him and throw him in the river here I mean nobody wants him around I don't want you short Jerry doesn't want to see you why don't you just drop dead that's the move

that's the way to live it's beautiful over there you know you walk by a pre- school and you walk by an elementary kids are throwing a ball around and you know there's a bully he yelled at me called me a homo so I get back to Manhattan the island and Doug keys on his way over to drop us off he's gonna pick us up to go to Atlantic City monopoly what's that that's a Bruce Springsteen stong that someone else covered and the cover was bigger was it bigger that's the one you know is the cover it's a what is it as ago I don't put your red dress on do you hair up pretty and meet me tonight in Atlantic City not only is the cover not

bigger I don't even know who you're talking about I don't even know what you're talking about it's the band the band the bandery did it really oh yeah give it a go good this this one's way bigger are you sure the band I thought the last waltz was like 78 that song came out in 82 Springsteen wrote it it sounded fun but it was too he couldn't pull it off it wasn't for him and so the band covered it and they they made it they improved it this is sacrilege I mean I don't want to get into it you're insane I mean the Springsteen version is the version and you're insane it's on his greatest hits it's on Nebraska 82 I don't know what's

wrong with you but we'll settle this another time keep moving look at it moving all right they play it on the boardwalk you know on repeat it's a little monotonous if you ask me but they keep playing on repeat and it's the band version not the Bruce and you think hey Jersey hey your guy boss band version I don't know who's DJ in this city but they should be shot dead and thrown into the ocean like the homeless and oh geez what am I saying I'm not saying you're wrong I'm just saying this this is the one that caught fire bleep that Shelby go back and bleep I gotta bleep we can't say that anymore it's a whole situation

all right all right new president new rules throw a bleep in there so anyways you go to Atlantic City with Doug Key hit me with it sticking my bottom horny over here have you been there I've never set foot in Atlantic City don't do it don't go it's Vegas with AIDS it's run down it's a shithole there's nothing going on I mean look I get it's a pandemic and it was Halloween weekend but it is just bummer town like there's no frills the half the lights are like they're buzzing they're out you know and the people are all fat and ugly and yeah just the water sucks the beach sucks you know it's it's like a Asbury Park if it if it was like

a Down syndrome it's just got nothing going on the casinos are all spread apart and then in between it if you want to walk to one you got it you got to dodge a crossbow and a meth pipe and crack heads it's brutal that's one of those places Atlantic City is like smoking I've never heard anything positive about it since I was a kid in school they were like whatever you do don't go to Atlantic City it'll turn your fingers yellow you won't be able to breathe you'll have birth defects so I just never went I mean it's very similar it's just nobody's ever said anything pleasant about Atlantic City ever other than you know in

1975 or whatever yeah yeah it's rough I mean and that all those smoking symptoms they all have that they're limping they're in the rascal you know you know Vegas when you go to like circus circus they're like this is the run-down one circus circus would be a paradise a utopia in Atlantic City yeah and I can't imagine it's gotten any better during COVID I mean it's gotta be god now rough so but hey we got we got one show Friday two show Saturday it'll be fun we'll get drunk we'll we'll go to the buffet we'll go to the beach like we'll make it work I got Doug Key I got the lady out there so Friday rolls around nine o'clock show

one show you got to love that brutal Doug goes up he's getting heckled immediately I go up I got heckled from minute one to minute 39 then they got kicked out then they got brought back in and then re-heckled they got heck they got kicked out and brought back in this girl is shithouse in the front row wearing like a dental floss top and she's just yelling woo three some three some with with her and her boyfriend they throw her out she starts crying in the lobby then they go okay okay you psycho we'll let you back in back to the heckle but they're like well you got eight minutes left so what's the

difference we're not gonna kick her out again and and you know disturb the show so it was brutal now here's the clinker she's a psycho she's going to town on me yelling all kinds of crazy whatnot and hoopla so I go into my racial chunk there's a table of black black guy in a black lady front row this guy's dying he's like my one beacon this guy loves everything there's a table of three fat black women behind him and they start leaving and I go what's going on ladies you guys you got two minutes left where you going they go you're a racist go back and get your clan hood I see your ass and Philly you need to get your ass

kick you come to Philly we're gonna kick your ass and there they're walking on saying this I'm like what are you talking about these guys are dying they're like fuck you you're racist you're racist and I'm like no I want you to stay if I was racist I'd want you to I'd be like yeah get out of here you know yeah you're black people but she was just on one and I go to the black guy in the front which I guess is kind of racist to be like do you understand this you're the same color as them and he was like I don't put don't bring me into this shit but they were pissed and they walked out and you know they're like get your

clan hood come to Philly we'll kick your ass all this shit that it was pretty pretty defeating I was like what what it's jokes what are you talking about but that's that I guess people are very quick to the clan hood I don't I don't get the clan the clan I'm in the clan I mean I can see if your jokes are insensitive I saw I don't want to get too into it and too inside baseball but or critical of a comic but Chappelle said that he's like if you could if you could put on your clan or you could put on a mask I'm like so if you don't wear a mask you're in the clan yeah it's a leak I mean that's a tough equivalency I mean what's how

many people are in the clan by the way 300 I know I know we're talking here well I get it in comedy you have to use extremes like how many ISIS jokes have we made about a you know a Middle Eastern guy so I get it but if I was right I would go yeah yeah and words I would just be letting it go like you're already leaving but I'm like no please stay I don't want to hurt your feelings but yeah it was there was no turning that one around and they were pissed and they were really like you you you you pissed me off so much that I had to leave with my other ladies and we hate you now and thank God they were like 60 because they

don't blog and shit because you know you get a couple of bloggers go and then you get a you start a fire online but these gals you know they're they like go to church on Sunday and you know have a cookout oh gee I gotta hear these jokes I want to be the I want to I want to get a little sense of what we're talking here I mean get your clan hood that sounds like they're not so you're crazy I don't know someone someone's missing something here well the other the other two black folk were loving it but I talked to fat Chris L our in-house black and he was like I get the joke obviously but I get why people could be upset it's got like

some slave connotation I am the whole joke I don't want to give away the material but it's all about how we all if we all hung out with each other like different races we'd get along better the fact that we were so separate is what's hurting us ironically and I said you know you got a seeing eye dog how about like a service brother where we just give you a black guy if you don't have any black people in your life and she I think was just like wait what slavery I'm like no no no the point is to make us mingle and co-exist so I think that might have been it right also I just want to add this you're not an elected

official you're not presenting this as like what if we did this you're a comic of course of course but also I had a joke about a virus called h1n word and that might have done it but again if I'm a race I would just say the word I'm saying n-word to make it fun and yeah it's word play right well what can you do yeah they'll I'm sure they're fine now and but here's the here's the the the the kook part is the the bouncer was a black guy and he was like fuck them that jokes good I love it I thought you were great and when you get yelled at by a black person called racist it's pretty devastating I had that thing in the

green room where I'm like ah man I gotta make some changes what am I do with my life and then when he says yeah fuck him you're like that's all I need it thank you other black guys into it we're fine and I was right back right well you can't please all the people all the time you got that right and all those people were at my show Mitch speaking of speaking of pleasing people Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by away travel away they're very good they create thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world they started with the perfect suitcase crafted with features that make travel more seamless and now when even

the family familiar looks different oh I think even when familiar looks different you can count on a ways range of essentials to solve real travel problems whenever you take that next trip we both have away bags I love it you love it I mean this thing is a first-class bag if you're traveling you're probably not traveling a ton but you're gonna be sued I have a feeling Pfizer's got a fucking 90% accurate or helpful what do you call it vaccine coming out so we're all gonna be traveling up and down I miss traveling when I do travel I've traveled a little bit I use my away bag always all their suitcases are designed to last a

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and back and I can't tell you how many times that battery pack there's a battery pack built in to the to the suitcase it's a smart bag and that battery pack has saved my ass so many times you know you're playing brick breaker on the flight before you know what you land your phone's dead you got to get an Uber thank God for that battery pack I love away start your risk-free 100 day trial and shop the entire away lineup including all their bestsellers at away travel dot com slash Tuesday's 20 that's Tuesday's 20 Tuesday's are the number 20 at the end so get on it risk-free 100 a trial you can't beat

that away travel dot com slash Tuesday's 20 and get your away bag today and get rid of that duffel Chris Allen just texted how about that he must have heard the the black signal was in the air he's like candy man yeah yeah well diabetes all right you you go you go I got I had to get out that that racial rant and I appreciate the the help yeah that's that's a bummer it's not a good feeling but you know you're not for everybody that's the way it goes yeah break eggs to make an omelette or whatever they say yes yes and just great trip when we were rented bikes we got oysters it was Halloween we made the

most of it we got shit faced we we did a queef in the hotel room that I had to delete because we got drunk into the queef and it was me the lady and Doug and it was so edgy we had to delete it oh Jesus yeah get on the patreon folks is some there's some great stuff on there speaking of the patreon hardcore stuff and if we ever get to 3,500 I think yes patrons we're gonna do something special we're gonna do a little live stream for the patrons only yeah you do a live show you can be in there yeah YouTube live you can ask questions we can go gay we can make out we can blow blow each other it's gonna be a hot one

so tell a friend tell a partner tell a neighbor and tell it on the mountain yeah it's gonna be something so last time we spoke I was in Seattle having a great time I was in the hotel cuz the Wi-Fi and I just gotta I'll get right through it but I gotta say it was the happiest time of my entire life seven days in Seattle with my best pal Derek his wife his kids and just an amazing time and early in the week we had some Wi-Fi issues I had to do my podcast I had to do you know Sarah had to do her podcast I had a zoom show which was fun and I think everyone was muted though I mean I ate shit it was brutal but anyways I got

the message afterwards being like we liked it I mean I don't I don't know if it was muted or my headphones broke or what but I mean I was talking to myself and just looking at blank faces ah but that's that's neither here nor there I've been there fatty it's brutal so we had a great time so then we're walking around Alchi Beach which is one of my favorite places in the wide world and I got this wild you know come staying up my ass and I said to Derek why don't we go swim tomorrow morning we just go in the ocean let's go out there and swim and he goes ah maybe we'll see yeah maybe I don't know that's a no where I come from

so I Google that night I'm going I'm going with or without him I don't give a shit and I Google swimming and cold water benefits all kinds of benefits you get you know cardiovascular and blood flow and I don't know some other shit yeah friends with friends with benefits it's good for the organs it's a lot of good stuff so I wake up in the morning and I'm waking up super early because I'm on East Coast time plus I've been waking up early anyway so I'm waking up at 615 plus the kid it's a very farty house everyone just rips ass which is fun yeah the kids I love kids that think farts are funny because you do like a you do

like a parry or you stretch your foot out because they don't know any of the fart gags right you can do pull my finger you know you take your glasses off and fire I show him my dick and fire it's all it all kills well you're the fart Richard prior you get to you get to break out the mold and break wind exactly I mean it was amazing so we're all fart and I wake up I go in the bedroom and I go hey what's going on he goes I'll tell you what's going on we're swimming in the ocean I'm like yeah we cheer and we get the kids going we get his wife going we put on our shorts and I'm nervous because I got rain adds and a small dick

already so you know you go in the water and you it's freezing yeah it's like 48 degrees that day and we go fuck it we'll just we got a bunch of blankets and towels and the whole thing we drive down to the beach and I'm getting nervous my heart's pounding because my anxiety starts going I'm like what if I have you know what's what's it called when your fingers fall off hypothermia right what is it hypothermia hypothermia and frostbite yes hypothermia is the one I was actually looking for frostbite hypothermia and then you always have that moment like on roller coasters they're like don't ride

if you have a heart condition you're like what if I have a heart condition I don't know about like fucking John Ritter died on set at you know who's the boss to or whatever the fuck show it was oh god it's terrifying because you hear all these stories about people that die when they're 48 and they're like he had a heart valve nobody knew it was a whole thing come and knock on our door that was the MT hey we're trying to get in so I go down there and it's like a beautiful day but it's it's cold and we go down there we're all excited and and he's done the polar plunge on

New Year's Day and stuff so he's like you gotta have flip flops because your feet will feel like you know knives or all this shit whatever and then I start doing it on like I'll do it on insta story we all need content he didn't want to be in the video he's got a job and everything I get it I'm like all right so we go down there and the kids are there and they're like you're crazy you know it's fun because you have little kids that are like this is not Uncle Joe's crazy he's gonna swim in the ocean we go out there I'm funkel I'm funkel Joe yes

and then so we go out there and right as we're about to step in we look over and there's like 75 elderly people just swimming laps they're just they got like the little fucking rubber hats on like like you know harry from jaws and they're just swimming back and forth then you look on the beach there's like 40 more people in bathing suit they're just talking and we're like I feel like an asshole because I'm over here going we're gonna do it and I got the ego I want people to like gather around being like you're crazy right and so we literally run in

we just jump in the water get wet we come running back and we're like like little girls and I come like I got the flip flops on I'm trying to hold them on because I got city feet right and we run back and his wife's not impressed the kids they're not even watching us they're building a sandcastle over here and you just see all these like a whole group of polar bears whatever the fuck they're called there's like 60 of them and they're just looking at us like ah you're fucking losers ah that all these kids by the way sorry eight and four okay okay so they weren't impressed they didn't give a

shit we put our towels on and it took the it was fun and exciting but it took a lot of the excitement out because I thought we're gonna be nuts we're gonna be these crazy people down on the beach totally and nobody gives a shit there's a whole gang of them over there and you just kind of go bar and like his wife is like okay you all set can we go to get some breakfast and you're like all right fine but it was still a thrill still exciting and then we got some photos and some video or whatever but it's a good way to start the day because it's quite a whoosh they say that all

these smart people these you know motivational cum guzzlers whatever it is they always say take a cold shower because your day you've had the hardest thing about your day out of the way and you're invigorated it feels nice I was doing that at the beginning of quarantine but I remember when I was a kid I had this memory of my mother would give me a bath when I'm like you know 13 or 14 nothing crazy but my mother would should should bathe me and you know my dad would be in the tub with me and my sister my uncle and would all fuck at the end when we were

clean but it's a big job my mother taffed my mother would take the fucking whatever like your mouth some kind of kitchen uh what's the kitchen thing it's like a big jug with measurements on it oh a knife a kitchen knife wait oh a measuring cup no it's like a measuring cup but it's huge it's like a big bowl she had a lot of jugs my mother yeah big jugs but anyways it was a big kitschy jug and I at the end she would do my hair and dump the water on my head to spritz it out or whatever sure

and I would say surprise me with a cold one and so she would without me noticing get the water ice cold and I'd be anticipating at some point I'm gonna get hit it was like um I won the super bowl like I you know I got a Gatorade bath wow what a fun kid you were and what a fun mom my mom if I said surprise me with a cold one she'd go uh all right here's a beer you fag you know she wouldn't she wouldn't hit me with cold water that's too much work well I mean she's sitting in the tub I'm in the tub she's naked I'm naked and it was fun so

I'd be waiting and all of a sudden I'd go get hit with the cold water it was exciting I was like all right we'll hit you with a warm one you gotta warm me up it was quite thrilling it was like a special memory you know that's touching that's touching that's special needs and boy your dong must have been in your asshole by then that's the cold water it will really shrink the turtle well awesome I'm like I'm four years old at the time so my my dick was already you know teeny an acorn yeah yeah I get it wow boy what a fun little memory that was a fun memory and uh Alchi Beach was

great we went out to breakfast and when you have like wet hair and the salt on yet it just feels good it's exciting yes the wet air and the wet skin with the salt yeah there's nothing better and you feel awake but I really did you got I got no love I wanted people to be like you went swimming that's crazy you must be insane I'm like that's not it I was on the tonight show too and they were like oh my god but nobody gave a shit yeah it's tough these I mean those old people out there they're probably like 104 I think if you do that every day you're uh immortal yeah and I was thinking about I guess when you

actually swim laps your body adjusts to the temperature and then you're just working out so I think they're like they're like you know sweaty or whatever afterwards ah damn yeah those polar bears we're just bipolar no fun waste dick but anyways that was fun these kids are hard to impress these days you know you almost gotta have like a million tiktok followers or something I could suck my own dick and they'd go ah what have you done for me lately well the young kids are fine because they're not quite at the tiktoky thing yet and it's amazing how many of the things that they'll be like you ever heard of a

itsy little spider and I'm like it's the little spider of course I know it's the little spider get out of here show me something new you fucking loser yeah when are they gonna make up some stuff you know these one kids like are you Robin Hood Batman smells Robin I'm like yeah let's hack that's like 1840 they're hacks I mean the kid all she wanted to do is watch Adams family and I thought there was like a new Adams family it was the 1993 fucking Angelica Houston Adams family which by the way fucking stinks out loud that would be blows come on steaks steaks holds up holds up it didn't held up then it held down then it's holding my life down wow I think I saw it

in the theater I would my jaw was on the floor plus uh Mortish I don't think Angelica Houston's attracted but in that in that vibe I was into it and then Wednesday turned out to be a smoke show big forehead on that whore what's her name Christy Yamaguchi reachy reachy yes yes I'm reaching oh we got another ad here let's let's knock that puppy out speaking of uh boners this is the best in the biz Tuesday's stores brought to you by sheath underwear we love old sheathy yes sheath leisure uh I love sheath it's got that sexy pouch it's got the sexy feel the sexy fabric it's got a great elastic waist and it just cradles the twiggin berries the junk the breakfast the the nuts and bolts beautifully it just holds it there it's got a great flap

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travel and and uh layovers and lay away here we go all right just gotta give a shout out to fat chrysal and we had a great weekend in Cleveland at hilarities Cleveland's underrated town I love Cleveland I think I turned you around on the big Klee and uh just one of the one of the great clubs Sam and Nick they take care of you uh they give you a baseball if you sell out the shows they give you a baseball bat with your name on it engraved it's so weird remember I they gave me one earlier in the year and I lost it because I couldn't take it through customs yes that was frustrating so they heard about that and now they showed me the bat and they put it in a big fat envelope and sent it to the house yeah you changed the policy because that's how they did it for me

they jotted it had a sock on it which was cute yeah by the way I play with the bat every day all day I have it in my hands during meetings people feel threatened because I'm like on zoom meetings holding a baseball bat I've never don't have it it's it's trusty it's my guitar it's my baseball bat it's my dildo I love this thing it's gold but yeah the same deal they showed it to me like we're not gonna have another Norman on our hands and then they mailed it so you change the you're you're like you're Rosa Parks oh yes there you go the bat of the bus so just a great weekend one of those weekends where you do the shows you sell some merch sold out of merch Chris Al sold like a he probably made five grand in merch he's got those shirts that everybody loves he killed

I had a hot one new material and one of those weekends where after every show there's smoke it was smoking butts and weed and drinking in the green room till 3am just talking comedy who do you hate who do you love who's a piece of shit who comes here and you look forward to who's good who sucks all that just just the the old days a little touch of normalcy sure the new normalcy so uh great weekend took us out to eat had some pierogies we went to Hofbrow had some day drinking the whole thing so then I look on my calendar go what's what's going on on sunday I gotta get back to New York got some shows on sunday uh-oh I gotta show at 3 p.m. on sunday in New Jersey oh you think I had New Jersey I'll land at noon throw my bags in bang the lady

take a path train out to Jersey how far gonna be Hoboken Jersey City what are we talking here swedesboro swedesboro you ever heard of it maybe but I not it doesn't click in my my brain no one's heard of it I give it a goog I map it it's about 38 hours into Jersey it's it's basically in Pennsylvania so I go what the hell is this so I hit the guy up and I go hey what what's the deal with this swedesboro because it's at 3 p.m. it's on a farm it's a farm gig farmers only.com so he goes oh yeah yeah yeah you gotta take an Amtrak to Philly because he goes you don't have a car I got a car I got a Bieber but that thing won't make it outside of Hoboken and he goes yeah yeah you gotta take an Amtrak to Philly and I'll pick you up like Amtrak to see you want me to fly into New Jersey

into Newark go home say hello get on Amtrak go back to Philly he's like I guess that's the only way if you don't have a car and I was like so the gig's at three this ain't no eight o'clock or like a normal gig so I go ah so I had to change my flight into Philly okay now you think hey Cleveland to Philly that's what 20 minutes in the air it is but it's last minute so all the good options are gone so I have to fly into Chicago four hour layover then fly into Philly and I get into Philly at 2.15 the show's at 3 so I was like Jesus and also the flight's at 6 a.m. or whatever it is so that's a kick in the pants because you know you know after a weekend you just want to go home and put your feet up for sure yes so I just suck it up I go all right I'll get up early I'll get

up at fucking 430 get to the airport for five get the flight at six but of course we we end up drinking all night on Saturday night and I got 10 seconds of sleep just I close whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop your car's here what are you doing hurry up everybody hates you your parents don't love you like come downstairs all right so half an hour of sleep hungover get on the flight go to Chicago try to take a nap by the way I watched the Chappelle monologue in the airport in Chicago just moving just that whole thing like sorry Lauren I thought there was a comedy show plus I was all traveling and hungover and no sleep it was moving was touching okay you hated it maybe we'll do a patreon we'll talk about it now we're talking 35 short short answers yes

uh what about that that woman joke with what we'll save it we'll save it about the the the wage gap or whatever that was a great joke yeah I if we can digress I just think there's a lot of like well I thought this was a comedy show we got a woke crowd I'm like is it possible the joke wasn't great sure sure because I'm like I think there's a lot of go to that whoa I thought this was must be uh too hot under the collar for you folks and I'm like ah I didn't laugh I'm not woke all right all right well we definitely gotta do a a queef about this but we'll do a whole queef another day another dollar so long if you ask me too sorry so you prefer the bill burwin I prefer the burr okay okay well now I'm I'm intrigued you're tickling my my taint here all

right so I'm in Chicago layover you know you try to sleep you can't sleep you get a smoothie you go cry in the bathroom and then boom Landon Philly he picks me up every I'm loopy everything's all wacky I haven't showered uh he picks me up in his truck Eddie great guy we drive out to a farm we are in the middle of nowhere it's a sunflower farm they sell sunflower seeds in the middle of uh who knows where we show up there's 300 people in lawn chairs staring at a stage it's literally on the bed of a tractor so he goes hey have a couple beers have a Philly cheesesteak and I go okay I drink some beers eat eat a cheesesteak guy goes on he's funny the opener's funny then I go on and you're just so out of it that there's a bee flying here this guy's toothless he's got a camo hat that's

a cornfield and you're just trying to get through it he's like how much I was like how much time he goes do a full hour I go all right and half of it's bombing half it's working I commented on a bunch of kids so they still have hymens it got weird but so I get out of there I tell the host Jake Philly guy very funny I should know his last name he goes I looked up your Amtrak you can only make this a six o'clock because I still have two shows in New York at eight oh my god in Brooklyn so your scheduling is appalling the who your scheduling is appalling it's a three shows in different states on the day you fly home horrible and once at 3 p.m. in in another country basically I gotta I just see an open calendar and I just gotta fill it up but I don't think about sleeping

in food and and lifestyle and you know anything so get off the tractor I jump in this guy's car we go to the Amtrak and Philly the 30th Street station I go up to the Amtrak guy I go what's the next train in New York he goes you got a 615 and I look at my watch it's like 604 I'm like all right let's do it how much is he goes 200 bucks I go 200 bucks for an amp I could have flown there and he goes supplying to man but there is a seven o'clock for 50 what is that it's a hundred miles 200 bucks to go a hundred miles you gotta be shitting me exactly a hundred miles but the but I thought I heard your your your uh small mouth in my head of just like ah treat yourself you know otherwise you gotta wait at the Amtrak another 45 minutes and you get in at 8 30 and your show's at eight

yeah I mean 200 bucks and the grand scheme of things is not much but I mean 200 bucks to go 100 miles is absurd absurd I mean the gas money for that would be six bucks ah I should have taken the bolt yeah this is this is this is goofballs I think you need to buy another vehicle get a nice civic or a Chevy spark or some bullshit to beat on you know you got your beamer for chicks you take a pleasure cruising you got your motorcycle for spots and then you get a nice nice nice what they call it when it's called uh something uh ah what's that word reasonable or reliable or daily driver no daily driver that sounds like a dating site no like a some kind of uh casual it's like they say with shoe walk around shoe uh tennis shoe uh slipper flip-flop

something sensible sensible get a nice sensible vehicle there you go all right yeah that's up there I like I like a good beater I want to park that thing half on a curb you know kick it shut with my hip spray paint a swastika on it whatever it is exactly a beater can be sensible you have a beamer and a beater whoa egg beaters all right so land in New York 200 bucks up my asshole now here's the clinker we're on the Amtrak you know you do the thing everybody does it it's late we're cranky everybody gets on everybody thinks maybe we'll go left everybody's going right we'll go left oh there's the coach car there's the quiet car there's the snack car whatever it everybody's got their little system get on the Amtrak we're all walking down and you know everybody wants the

two seat they want the seat they want the seat for the shit right that's how it goes that's the American way we've all agreed on it so you know you you just keep walking till you find your twofer find my twofer sit down I get a moment here I'm on the Amtrak I got an hour and a half I'm going to take a little snooze still got two shows to go we're almost home baby throw my bag up in there sit down but I'm so dehydrated because I've had no sleep and I drank a couple IPAs on the farm so I go all right let me get settled plug my little charger in get my phone some juice you know get my ticket beeped from the guy finally once we've been on the train 10 minutes I put my ticket in the little back uh slit there from the chair you know and I get up and I go get

a bottle of water get up go get a bottle of water come back seats taken oh now what do you do here what's the etiquette because it's his fat hillbilly chuch he's on the phone by the way and I go ah I got the tray you know the little paper the uh the little cardboard tray with my drink in it my M&M's and I'm like ah I was sitting there and he's like huh I want the phone and so now he's just sitting there doing this shit yeah man I gotta tell you what I think Biden's gonna we still gotta get that recount we gotta recount it that's gonna change everything it ain't over yet he's still in the house you know and I'm like yeah so I go I was sitting here and he's like I you know I don't know that and I go here's my ticket and he goes yeah

you know what do you want me to do you weren't here and he's got his dumb you know those weird bags that that guys carry that have their strings and it's just like a pouch and he can oh you know that thing those I hate the string pouch it's a feminine it is a feminine but tough guys have these for some reason I don't know what it is but he had one of those on the seat so I go I gotta sit down here and he goes uh so he moves it a little and I'm just sitting there now I got his dumb bag jammed in my ass and I'm eating my M&M's and drinking my water like a little rat and I see this girl on the other end across the aisle look at me like what a pussy and it pissed me off I don't know if she was actually thinking that but it that's how I registered it so I go move the fucking bag

I was pissed and he goes and he puts the bag on his lap I didn't say fucking I said can you move the bag Jesus I'm a human being puts the bag on his lap and he's talking on the phone so I can't really yell at him and eventually I just I kept thinking what is the deal here what do you do here because he's right there was nobody in the seat so he took the seat yeah sure my ticket was there but is that a is that a holder yeah you gotta do a leave behind a hoodie a shoe something I know I mean I gotta say I gotta say with no leave behind I kind of get it you go hey it's an open seat I sat down I get it too I that's what I figured so I just sucked it up and I I got up I gave him a dirty look and then I walked uh walked down and found another one but it was pretty uh crushing and then when

the train landed in New York I had to run back through three cars to get my bag I left it up there uh well first of all I hate this guy I hate anyone talking on the phone I hate a string bag I hate a fat guy I hate it everything he's got going on I'm hating it was all bad news and it doesn't help the anger you know because if it was a nice guy going like ah sorry man there was no one here I don't know what you want me to do I get it but he's on the phone he's uh he's a douche it was all bad I think it was a DJ I don't know something was up but I got my bag I go straight to Brooklyn shows are great Tuesdays are at the show took some photos come home ah we're good to go good to be back good to be home if you can believe it mark and audience we have another sponsor on this show

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my lady loves it now that you told me about this candy cane stuff I am on board give the gift of native by going to nativedo.com that's nativedeo.com slash Tuesdays or use promo code Tuesdays a checkout and get a whole 20% off your first order pretty good make sure you order before December 7th to get your products in time for Xmas that's nativedo.com slash Tuesdays or use promo code Tuesdays at the checkout native deodorant take care of your body Merry Christmas happy holidays can't believe it's the holiday season already Thanksgiving's like two weeks away oh my god I know I'm going to I'm going to NOLA for that that'll be fun just a little change of race yeah crazy time so I gotta just touch on Halloween a little bit I was out there so that we went swimming in

Alchi the morning Halloween morning which is fun and then you know everyone they got the kids and that's the reason I went to Seattle to experience a little Halloween because when you don't drink you're older Halloween there's not much going on for you yeah booze in or you're single you're trying to you know fuck a nurse or whatever sure but care but uh you know it's not eventful for me I watch movies or whatever the hell so I decided they will go to Seattle and experience Halloween with the kids because they're right in the thick of it oh yeah four oh yeah did they dress up they dressed up my niece was Wednesday Adams she looked amazing she's obsessed with the Adams family she had the wig the thing everything although like seven people were like are you RBG I love RBG

you're like RBG get out of here because it's Seattle they're all like it's super woke the whole thing she's got a black wig down to her ass and she's like looking spooky she has black and white striped leggings oh yeah I'm on the Senate or whatever I'm a judge that's my thing I'm I'm four I'm eight what are you talking about yeah next week I'm going as uh you know Harriet Tubman what are we doing if I start eight year old dressed up as RBG and throw my hot day of coffee in her face you gotta be shitting me I mean hey I love RBG fantastic good for you lady you know thanks for holding it down or whatever you do I mean I'm not I don't do a lot of judge following yeah who's dressing as a judge yes I mean judge Judy okay at least she's fun I get that Judge Reinhold

would be better than I mean RBG judge get out of here get out of here what is this new thing we got to pretend to give a shit about these uh old super old people RBG on Halloween get the fuck out of here she's Wednesday Adams and uh she looked great but that was only a couple people I exaggerated a little bit but again it's Seattle so who knows she was Wednesday Adams and then uh my nephew Joey same name he was Chase from uh what's it called Meridian blues clues it's it's a it's a paw patrol paw dog dog cops they're like little dogs that are police paw patrol it's it's adorable they're really fun is it like a McGruff I think it's like McGruff I gotta tell you I didn't watch an episode I just saw him dressed and he's got a little hat with ears and he's got a

brown tail that looks like a shit coming out of his putt I had a lot of laughs about that I don't know if I'd want to go as a cop in Seattle that doesn't seem very popular well I think it was it's paw peeler it's it's paw patrol so I think a kid can like a cop that's what's interesting yes kids are dumb you're allowed to be dumb if you're thirty and you're like I love the cops I'm a cop baby people like fuck you you piece of shit but if you're six they're like that's great good for you it's true kids can can say all lives matter and everybody's like oh he doesn't get it a totally a three-year-old is like don't all lives matter you'd be like my kids got wisdom but if the dad says it you're like you're a piece of shit I have a bit about that I don't want I don't

want you to see me doing that and think I took it from you oh sorry yeah but anyways they can do no wrong these children I mean I guess they could I mean he could say he could point and say the n-word but you know he's got good parents yeah yeah but you know he's he likes to listen and regurgitate what he listens to you know so he was sweet as pie so we went there and and it's COVID so everyone's worried is it gonna be a Halloween what are we gonna do like kids and so they had a little parade in the neighborhood this is an pigeon point which is like a cool little hill area it's like it's a great little neighborhood and so we go over the parade I had a mask on I bought little like the axe that goes through the head you know it's on either side love that classic the the kids loved it they

were like it was mind-blowing to them they loved it so we're all walking around we got axes through our heads I got a Jason mask an old man mask and and by the way when you go to a kids Halloween parade you gotta stick close to the kids you're with because if you if you wander off I'm just an old middle-aged guy with like a an old lady mask on you know yeah that's creepy you don't want to be that guy I had to keep being like I had to keep me like Joey this is my nephew right here yeah yeah exactly but it was a great time the neighborhood all came together the kids were adorable some of the parents were hot and then we went back to Derek's house we sat in his driveway we had these huge pumpkins we bought we carved them all up good he used a saw to carve them we designed them up

there's we had a spooky one a silly one a fun one a shitty one and there's a table we had he bought full-sized candy bars he's that guy wow fun dad full milky ways full nutjobs or whatever the fuck they're called and had like a wooden tray yes wooden tray filled and so then we sat there all day I had my Jason mask he had an axe through his head we played the Ramon super loud and the kids would come up and I'd be like full candy bar best house on the block we had a great time I love it wow that's amazing talk about fun size those little minis that ain't fun the big one that's fun that's what I say about my cock all the time to the kids but and it was a full moon it was a blood moon or it was a blue moon a blue moon once in a blue moon this was a blue moon there was orange

slices on it and it was huge and we had the whole view of the city we sat there all night it was the best Halloween I've ever had in my whole life wow and there was a mode this is a fun moment I'm sitting there talking to him and he's drinking beers he's got a buzz on we're being goofs I gotta tell you about one guy you're gonna hate two guys you're gonna hate one guy you're gonna really hate all right so we order pizzas we got a stack of pizzas we're eating those we're eating like shit it's so fun I had candy before pizza I felt like a kid we're sitting there and I go boy this doesn't happen often but times like this is when I'd like to have a beer I wouldn't mind having a nice beer here here not beer beer not two minutes later some drunk lunatic walks up

bald fat guy he goes whoa this is the rock and roll house no kids he's like motherfuckers this is a party right here he's just screaming motherfucker he's got no kids he's an adult he's like who's got the shots you guys got shots of oh where this guy is he the dumb neighbor I don't know who he is he's a neighbor but it was perfect timing because that would have been me that would be me I would been jumping through the table and stealing the kids and fucking the candy silent relapse it was perfect timing I was like I wouldn't mind a beer and then this asshole shows up and I couldn't even hate him because I was like that's me that would be me yeah that's true 40 and bald it's funny how that works because uh you know Chris Al is sober and our opener Mary Santora was sober

so it makes me mind my peas and Jews because I'm like I don't want to be that guy I don't you know I start slurring and I'm like oh these guys are sober as a judge Judy so I kept it in line yeah I love Mary she's funny I like her a lot and then Chris says I'm off and on with but fair what can you do but anyways so that guy leaves then this guy shows up some fucking douche comes with two kids and just seems like a regular old guy and he's like oh wow you guys got big candy burgers I go and it's late in the night so we're going to take as many as you want and then Derek goes there's pizza too we finished the pizza if you want to slice just assuming no one's going to take a slice of pizza from people and he goes hey what kind of pizza you got and right away I'm like

he's going to take the pizza hate this guy hate him he opens the box he takes three slices one for him and one for each of his two daughters pepperoni slices they're the last slices what we go over there this guy's box is empty this guy's a nightmare he should be arrested he took the last of our pizza can you believe that I can't I mean I'm in shock I'm blown I mean it's like a curb episode we want to go dude we're kidding you don't take pizza and three take one and you guys eat it like lady in the tramp with your kids don't take three major slices what are you a fucking loon asinine so then Derek's wife comes home and we're chat we're telling him like some fucking asshole took the pizza and she and you know moms are they're serious you don't want to

fuck with a mom no milf maybe she's like are you fucking kidding me he took three slices yeah three slices we're doing a triangle of like three slices and the kids are like they took our pizza we have no pizza left as we're saying it he walks up you just you just hear this honey this is the house that gave us the pizza she's like oh thank you they came back around they're listening to us we're all trashing them wow they need to hear it maybe that you know this guy is he's the noid remember him he took your pizza who's the noise man he was an out of the pizza hut guy who would come in or maybe dominoes he would come in and steal pizza that was like his thing oh well they took my ad noids when I had my tonsillitis but this guy came and he kind of I

think he overheard it I'm not sure but he walked by and he goes hey thanks again for the pizza and as he's leaving Derek's got a little buzz on he had the lighter like the fault you know those long lighters the blue thing yeah we gotta click it and click as they left he just threw it at them I mean purposely short but it hit the sidewalk and skidded and they kind of look back and looked at us and I'm like I had to like put my head down and walk in I'm like what are you doing you know he's a funny guy he's being kooky but we tried to do the thing of like afterwards you're like shit did he know about the lighter did I throw that I'm like man maybe he thinks you dropped it I'm like I don't know why you would have somehow dropped it but Derek didn't seem to care he's like

ah fuck him he shouldn't have taken the pizza but yeah it's the hardest I've laughed in a while to just see a guy throw a lighter at a guy for taking his pizza but memorable night I mean the kids loved it and then we went back inside and I said I don't care what either your parents says no asking permission for candy just tonight if you want candy you eat that son of a bitch we're eating candy yes Joe and we went nuts and then it was 11 p.m the bedtime's like eight because they're fucking four years old and I go we're staying up to live we're having candy at 11 when the clock strikes 11 we're all having candy now you're taking over the house these are these are their children here you can't make the rules I'm making the rules I'm fungal Joe so I stuffed candy up all

their asses we had a great time the next day they slept till like two in the afternoon they were hung over and shit sure black but we on their mouth like they eat ass it was fun we had music rocking all night I mean we had a little dance party we're all candid out and uh best time of my life I didn't want to leave I wanted to move there I want to move to Seattle and just be with these uh these whippersnappers well it is such a culture shock because you get to have like a residential area with a yard and and neighbors and shit it's it's kind of nice it's that suburban life with the family and the candy and the wife and the pizza guy it's it's fun it was a good time great time and uh I mean happy to be back don't get me wrong but uh wonderful wonderful time out there I hope

everybody had a safe and happy Halloween and uh all that shit yep we got Thanksgiving and turkey on the way my brother just texted me we're having a vegan Thanksgiving which feels like an oxymoron but it's like having a Jewish Christmas it doesn't work but yeah well we'll keep you posted on that one Brian vegan I am not thankful for that no sorry Bob I'd rather uh you know go the way the Native American and just you know shoot me in the face with a musket when was that gun you ever see like in the Bugs Bunny cartoons and pilgrims they had the gun with a barrel opens up at the end oh yeah what was that Elmer Fudd had when I think was that like a spray gun or something I think that was like a what are you a civil war gun or it yeah I think it was like a buck shot went went

spray yeah had like a cup at the end of it yes yes and then he would plug it with his two fingers and then the whole thing would blow up sometimes they tie it in a knot that would be fun yes big knot well what's up with sawed off uh why do they saw it off I think it makes it uh louder or more impactful or something I'm not sure about I remember um you know red dawn there's that great line where he's he's burning he's cutting it off and he's carving and then the guy says all that hate's gonna burn you up kid and he says it keeps me warm that was like a big that was a big moment and that what we all like we're like oh yeah it's kind of like a circumcision for a shotgun yeah I think so Jews all right we gotta wrap this thing up here yeah what a what a what a week what a

day what a night what a life I don't know I got I got some stuff tomorrow night I'm back in Royersford Pennsylvania I'm bringing Renan Hirschberg and Steve Rogers maybe another guy I'm not sure funny guys good guys funny guys excuse me and then Friday night I'm in Millersville Pennsylvania and that's with uh Shafi Hossain nice guy he set it up for me and uh good guy January 27th January November is that cat power what is that called love power what do you mean QAnon what's that show called the one in PA oh power phantom phantom power phantom power phantom power yes cat power uh hooked up with a friend of ours yeah you got that right you got some pus November 27th only concert by the way I've ever seen front row I saw cat power up against the

railing it was pretty exciting I didn't know you were depressed November 20 it was a festival don't get it wrong I didn't buy a ticket to see cat power uh Friday November 27th I'm supposed to be at Gillette I forget the name of it Gillette stadiums comedy club there um supposed to be there they're changing the rules it's going to be a 430 show now because COVID comes out at night I guess so we have to be done by 10 o'clock all right doesn't make sense but I'll take it and then January 8th through the 10th it's a ways away I'm at Helium in Philadelphia God bless Philadelphia I'll be at Helium my my favorite city of all time January 8th through the 10th with Sarah and so come out to that oh that'll be great oh man I'm excited I'm uh I'm right behind you there fatty I'm at the comedy

zone in Greenville South Carolina this Thursday through Saturday not bragging come on out SC what the hell else are you doing uh then I'll be in New Orleans for Thanksgiving doing a show at Zoni burger mash bar on the 24th two shows one's already sold out so jump on that second show that's on the 24th of November stress factory in Bridgeport Connecticut this will be my last time I bother you about Connecticut because I've been there 800 times this year Spokane in Washington come on out Derek but that's if it opens it's uh it's teetering it's on the on the Mike Pence and then uh Helium might open we'll see um but and then Seifler's in Tampa for new years but yeah all over all over New York and Jersey and whatnot so uh we'll figure it out but say hello tell a

friend we're trying to get to 35 hundo on the Patreon and then we'll do a live uh Tuesday what do you call it YouTube stream nonsense questions AMA HPV and uh I think that'll do it yeah hell yeah thanks for listening we love you we appreciate you and especially the patrons and uh thanks so much thank you just so you cut it praise i'll uh blow your dad