Tuesdays with Stories! - #376 Bearded Biker Bandit

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

It's a piping hot ep this week in Lunch Stuff Studios as Mark and Chris Alan deal with a shady hotel before Mark takes a year long Uber ride while Joe has a great comedy night with ice cream at SoulJoel's. Check it out! Sponsored by: Hawthorne (hawthorne.co), Talkspace (talkspace.com code: tuesdays), & Blue Chew (bluechew.com code: tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays Get our new T-Shirts right here baby! remember2behappy.com/twsshop

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be chasing here we are back at the pad lunch stuff studios do yes we're here we're queer I need a beer well you got quite a bar over there it's not a bad little what do you

call that bar wet bar yeah well I don't know what I mean dry bar is a comedy vehicle now wet bar I never understood yeah they're all wet it's like dry cleaning that's fully wet and this is a wet bar it's clearly wet what about this this sandbar but ironically a sandbar is wet ah but it's true sand is what you say when something's dry right she had sand down there or sandpaper but isn't the sandbar that's just sand it's a bar of sand and then there's water around it well I guess portions of the bar are wet the underwater portion because that's still the same bar it's got a swoop up right you know then there's Roseanne bar

she's not wet no and Tom bar no Tom Arnold and then there's a presidential there's a political bar bill bar William bar yeah which is so weird is it like bill bar I'm like oh he's got a new special oh bill bar yeah burn bar hey how about the shout out from Burr by the way I know come on the three bowls that was pretty good me Sammy and you that was exciting I haven't watched it but I've people tweeted about it sent it which was nice because I'm always afraid I'm gonna watch and I'll hear a tone yeah where he'll be like and list and I'm like ah pause he squinted or whatever yeah no it was it was just us three it was in and

the whole thing's eight seconds and I finished but it's quick but it's nice did you watch that movie eight seconds I think it was a Wrangler movie Luke Perry is that right it's about getting AIDS bull riding bull riding yes he's dead yeah that's wild yeah did you watch 902 one oh at all I cut a few ups I had a thing for what's her face the blonde I went with the glasses lady Andrew people all thought I was cookie but I liked it cuz she was out I think even when I was like 11 I liked an obtainable even 11 year old me I feel like I think I could fuck the glasses nerd yeah I could see that I could see that but you

know you're looking back because that was the early 90s nobody was all the guys were hotter than the gals he had Luke Perry had a Brandon Priestley at Ian Zering oh yeah yeah my uncle look like Ian cuz then you had Tori spelling who looks like a Clydesdale and then Doherty is apparently a huge coups yeah she was hot but I didn't see it as much with them I really did think the glasses dame was pretty sexy I don't know I bet if you look back on that she's probably like 61 when they shot it well then you had saved by the bell Tori spelling and she was like a nerd and that was always like fetishy right fun to have like a

hot girl with you know glasses and a band-aid or whatever right where yeah they really went all archetypes on that show is biker nerd cheerleader black turtle yeah then you had the Hispanic guy with the wife beater on and the blonde white guy than the nerdy curly-haired Jew oh didn't they just try to cancel Slater yeah he did a trans thing oh yeah he said kids shouldn't be trans or something be fucking trans people whatever it was but he got to you to apologize that came up with the Bill Maher thing right that's where I heard it um yes same with the bell was real wacky I think we already talked about this but

Zach was like the star of the baseball team the basketball team he was a he was like an actor he was in a band there's no blacks in this school apparently he was the head of everything wrestling coach he was fucking mr. Belding he was everywhere and there was a separate season for his senior year so a lot of that he was like a sophomore right like he was the point guard yeah playing Zach attack as a junior come on well maybe if you're playing in basketball and you got the timeout power you can just steal the ball that's why he was so good at every sport good point but you only get a limited timeout is there a 20

second timeout a full timeout all you need is a 20 second but do you run out like a real game that's oh I see I see you use them all right he's and then he calls an extra timeout and they're like that's a technical foul Chris Weber style and then he's you know whatever sure sure yeah those timeouts he really didn't utilize those I mean you could get a finger in you could pinch a nip you could take a shirt off take a photo put the shirt back on now Kapowski and Screech removed because they're too obvious which character are you fucking if you had to fuck one or got to fuck one I should say well you took Screech out so I guess I'd

go I'd go miss bliss well good morning good night I mean you had turtle I thought was pretty hot in her day yeah she was a good looking tortoise and I remember feeling pretty progressive as a kid right because I mean I was growing up in Boston I had uncles and you know yeah it's amazing you never had a touch of black culture there was no you know like ebonics or anything or hip-hop lingo good point yeah usually they're dead they throw a little like even Oprah who's you know Oprah nice talk show lady fluctuating with fatness but every now then to be like no child you know all the white one go no child left behind but

I mean I think they're I'm trying to that rack in my brain there's not even a moment and they didn't even do a thing where they were like well you guys don't get it what do you mean like there wasn't even a very special episode when they were talking they're like come on Lisa just whatever and she was like you don't know what it's like to be me that's actually was quite privileged she was like the rich she was the rich with the credit cards and the cool outfits and the rich parents right yeah that's true they always have the serious episode I guess the serious one was the no-dos I'm so excited well there was a few cuz then

there was a drinking and driving toga party she crashed her mother's car or somebody crashed the car they all had to lie and stuff that was a Tory spelling episode oh is that right it was a big toga party and then they were listening to Louis Louis I think and CK CK but I think I think it was Lisa's car was like her Mercedes and her mother came they had to keep lying and eventually they came clean it was kind of like the movie flight oh yeah yeah she couldn't stop drinking she's black that was fun movie by the way flight was great I mean great that played a role in my sobriety I was like right before I quit I was like yes

he's right this this is me I'm Denzel we look similar we have big dicks yeah I saw that movie the movie flight very late and it took a while to take off but it was good I enjoyed it although the only scene I didn't like was at the end where he's got the one bottle on the fridge and he goes I didn't love the slow mo it was a little dramatic I mean easy it's certainly not a perfect film I mean Goodman's fun but he was a bit cartoony at times and there was some of the I thought that Tim Meadows part where whatever his name is what's the guy oh shanning Tatum Walker Cheedle the ladies man the Cheedle scene where he kind of

break he's like just give me the joint I'll roll it like it was kind of like I know I'm cool but he didn't act he didn't feel like that it was problems I saw that on a flight and which is a not a good movie to play no they can't play that on a flight played on a flight you heard a little turbulence like see drinking come on did you download it no no it was on the roster what the hell it was that final destination sully it was a horrible lineup that can't be that airlines should be shut down I mean these people they you can't even make a illusion I think there's some movies they pull whole I think almost famous

almost famous they take the whole sequence out they can't even play it because you know if somebody it's not about the person choosing it it's about the person three rows behind that glances and goes oh they think they're seeing a news story but what about all the the nudity we they stay they leave that and they got some 12 year old you got a bit about it I got a bit but nudity I think is fine that's that's how crazy these people are with the the plane crash right the same with like the people that are like why I don't but I'm gonna kill myself people like we got a call an ambulance fuck you that people

take shit serious they yeah they think you jinx stuff yes these people idiots well they're everybody's topsy-turvy cuz like Sam's got a great bit about I don't want to ruin his bit but it's like they showed up a heading like an ISIS by heading on the news and then they bleeped out a fuck like they cut the guys head off and the head like hit his foot you know we're all over all over the road here right yeah classic stuff I mean the news you could show whatever but I think people are very serious about plane crash if you if you say something they think their plane's gonna crash and all that right right yeah yeah the super

Stish I don't like I don't think you can play speed on a bus but maybe bus they don't give a fuck they don't give a movie either I don't think they haven't gotten that good how good point speed to cruise control I think there was a number that was three on rotten tomatoes no joke oh wow yeah pretty bad even to even Keanu was like I'm out I did Bill and Ted but I won't do this well I always thought that speed to would have made sense if it was Keanu's character like he's a bomb guy and he's like here's another bomb he's gonna deal with but like Sally Field or whoever the woman was Bullock Sandra Bullock is like

another bomb boy like is she fucking you know my act yeah all these bombs I was rifling through my head to think of a comic that wouldn't be offended that's gonna hear it but also I'm right here I know but you do well I don't know well we've all we've all died I was dying this weekend I had one of the all-time you know Thursday was solid Friday Friday Saturday but late Saturday bomb the last show take me through where are we okay let me pull up I got notes we're 25 minutes in already we even got into the business all right all right yeah we got a lot of a lot of stuff to go over here first off well

should I go in chronological I'll just jump right to it so how about this get to Greenville South Carolina okay doing the comedy zone it's just a real pain in the douche because you got to fly you got to go to Newark then you got to fly to Charlotte and then you got to take a little pond jumper over to Greenville Greenville Spartanburg Airport hmm tiny airport they don't even know what COVID is no one had a mask it was wild it was just it's night it's 2018 over there they they they're still with Trump they're not wearing Matt they're all they're all not worried this cowboy hats they're they're playing you know old

music and it's crazy so got an Uber to our hotel me and fat Chris Al yeah Chris we're staying at he picked me up we're staying in the suburban hotel on the outskirts of town now the outskirts is always bad but it's real bad in Greenville now is this his area or your area well it's by the mall okay but it's Hill Bill got you and we get in that we both check in there's two fat ladies with neck tattoos arguing and yelling at the yelling at the clerk you know like fuck you I told you not to give me that room and you put me in that way and he's just like here we go and he's not even fazed by it that's how you know we're in

trouble and they got the bass down here they're just yelling and he's got his mask down he works there in his mask is here it was crazy oh boy so they're going at it that was our first introduction we have to wait behind them to check in we check in Chris gets into his room it's got jizz on the on the couch before he even did it the it's an extended stay which is always a bad a red flag oh really cuz they got the microwave and the oven and the stove and the dishes I know but everybody gets divorced so they get evicted or they kill a kid and they go hide in there for three years right because it's extended stay hey I got a

kitchen I can live here yeah I never trust the kitchen I don't like the forks and then you never have there's always one thing you need that's missing haha there's not a strainer or the spoons too big or the oven takes it you know it's smokes or whatever yeah yeah well I was missing a maid I guess cuz that room looks like looked like nom had been through there was just the shovel the carpets all fucked up there's a pub on the on the shower and I said hey Chris what are you doing he goes I gotta get out of this room so we go we go get lunch and he's like you can't stay there I'm like ah what are you gonna do you

know you kind of just get into that mindset of like this is it yeah I didn't know we were even allowed to it wasn't till we work with DeRosa that yeah remember that we did Rosa 20 years ago and the guy had less credits than my sister has I know and he was calling our manager telling him what's what he's like we're not staying here right boys and you and I were like in the pool being like I'm fine and a beer hip thing on my head the helmet with the tube pipes you know I thought we stayed there place was fine it was great you and I shared a room had two levels yes two levels levels Jerry I was going to Peru the next day oh that's

right that was a big weekend big week a lot of things going on my I think my first club weekend by the way no kidding remember we tried to walk find a strip club for like hours we couldn't find it right we walked down the highway and that's when you told me I was doing a bit about my day job and you were like don't ever tell me you have a job it was a big big mind fuck for me all right that was also where you were like I notice you never write anything and I was like I got 20 yeah I was trembling every night because it was a real comedy club with paid seats and then a bar I couldn't believe what I was I was a creek guy I

think we were doing pills and oh yeah oh yeah yeah we'd wake up just go get a like an 18 case yeah and then Bjorn left us in that that's right and then at one point sorry I went down review alley here but sure I remember DeRosa going I remember DeRosa say we were in the pool and he was standing like what are you guys gonna do and then out of yadda he's like eventually we all have to move to LA anyways I don't mean like what oh yeah it was so strange like he said he's like you know like matter of factly we're all gonna have to move to LA yeah thought that was so strange well his career was kind of and then after that

weekend it all went to hell but he had a little slow rise for a minute he was on his way and then you know he got AIDS or whatever yeah but now he's back yeah he's quit comedy since and he's doing podcasts like the rest of us but that's the other here nor there so we're me and Chris are at lunch or eating dinner whatever we're doing and he's like you can't stay there's like I can stay there I'm the opener or whatever but you can't say he's like he's like pumping me up and I'm like yeah maybe I can't what am I doing I've never complained in my life about a club or a hotel to the management so we get to the club and you

know it's a nice club it's right in the heart of downtown you just pull in to downtown and it's like lights everywhere and all these great restaurants and beautiful people and water fountains and and all this shit we're like what are we doing oh my god this is so pretty over here we're out here in the sticks and so we walk in we're talking to the guy and he goes how's the hotel I just unloaded I was like it sucks he's got jizz in his eye I got herpes we're all over the place and he goes wow is that right yeah yeah so we he's a nice guy shows are great we're gonna call the next morning I'm at Chipotle at about 11 a.m. we moved

you out of the hotel hey all right they put they felt bad he was very apologetic and I start to get like oh that's why these big shots do this it works well I think also you came at a nice angle because you didn't call and say hey fuck you you let him say how is it and then you get to do the well to be honest it's a piece of shit exactly I think that helps that helps and I was just trying to be funny and you know just joke semen DNA to CSI whatever it is sure so he took the bait he was a cool guy he's like I don't give a shit I'm a bartender I'll tell him you know and it was great to move me to the Hilton but

here's the clinker they didn't move the fat man ah poor guy yeah well racism in America yeah yeah yeah yeah Alan lives matter so he he's like oh so now we're at the mall walking around and he's doing the the the pouting you know he's a powder yeah and a bully yeah powder good movie so disagree yeah it's horrible Travolta's in that no that was no phenomenon and Michael oh he had a couple stinkers huh yeah Travolta had like good in the 70s had to come back with pulp and then after that just a big bag of cheese if you ask me I agree a battlefield earth swordfish base off stinks I'll get tweets for that one

but that movie's a piece of garbage it's a popcorn dickless but it stinks it's fun you put it in the VHS you hug your brother you give a noogie you know you grilled cheese but that movie's a bag of cheese oof states I 80s weren't great either he had a perfect stay in alive he had blowout or was that 70s I think that might have been 81 or something like that but that movie's got some cheese on it too by the way oh is that a diploma it's the trauma and it's it's great at points but the end of blowout I don't know is it blow up blow out blow out I think it's blow out blow up is the earlier version blow out is like a remake of blow out up

oh is that right I think that was like blow up is like a foreign you know people pretend to have seen it and then blow out the end it ends with him like walking up a building and there's like an American flag and fireworks it's really stupid at the end yeah but there's parts that are you know interesting I prefer blow up doll that's a whole different bag of hammers but so now it's awkward because Chris is like alright he's kind of powering and I'm like ah so I I call the guy back and I go what do you think about getting this black kid in the hotel and he was like hey you know you gotta pay your dues buddy that's a good you know we help the

headliner and I'm like alright alright I get it but he's like well we got nothing to do all day so I'll just drive you to the the place okay and I was like I can't have you drive me there that's a insult to anal here uh so I was like let me let me figure something out so I text the bartender guy again and he goes actually I know a guy who works at the because it's small town they all know each other sure I know a guy let me see if I can get him a discounted rate I go great he calls me back I got him the discounted rate so he goes fucking I'll just buy a room I can't stay in this place his drug deals

going down there's people cleaning their gun this pit bulls everywhere as cock fights so he we drive over he's like I'm just gonna buy a room we get there and they go alright sir that'll be whatever whatever $800 and I just I had to do it I had to give him the card hey come on he's he's the opener yeah he's got to be taking a loss although he makes some sweet government cake that's true he was a military man yeah he's getting all that government cheese so you know you did a good deed there you're supporting the troops or whatever God say he can afford it boots on the ground and you know he's he's doing well he's bringing it on

every show he's killing so yeah yeah it's the least I can do and then we had some fine some fine shows but that last show man but first of all they go oh it's gonna be 75% capacity cuz of COVID that room was jammed to the gills 75% by the way that's pretty substantial that's a joke yeah the reverse of I think what it's supposed to be I was 25 I think it's 24 tears 25 I don't know what's going on in Greenville I think there it's supposed to be 50 but who knows yeah who knows so they were packing it all in and you know the waitress has got the nose out you know the mask like nobody gives a shit you know one guy spit my eye and so every

show is great and the last show it was the most false I was like this is gonna be great weekend's been great new stuff's working and I just I had him for the first eight and then baby it was one of those shows where some guy over there go comedy one guy would go Tuesday and okay how's the moped what's that a beamer what's shaking Fanny and I'm like it was like whack-a-mole with heckles I couldn't I couldn't stop them all oh so it was some fans there it was fans but it was just a boozy night there's nothing to do there so you start drinking at 2 p.m. this a guy in the front row has got a comedy shirt on he's sleeping oh geez that's over

you know then I got one lady's like one he's just like she's off to the right you couldn't see her I couldn't make fun of her appearance cuz it was too dark so that's done and just you know then you got like the conservative couple up front just like yeah it was tough one lady complaints that I was too dirty like this is North Carolina or South Carolina you don't come here with that filthy shit in New York that shit doesn't fly here I'm like Jesus Christ with in that weird people blow each other and then they get mad about the word the joke about blowing oh yeah I mean I think Carlin had a thing like that was like if you're

willing to swallow come shut the fuck up or whatever it was yeah I mean go home and blow each other yeah it's it's weird I mean everyone's seen an asshole everyone's eating out an asshole everyone's had sex with a kid but any kind of swearing like hey I can't hear this exactly it's a kooky kooky world we live in and they're all it's I at one point I go unbuckle that Bible belt you homos because it was just you could just see I'm like oh I can feel the Lord's wrath upon you well Greenville I think is that area where it's just it's all churches you drive down the street and there's a church across from a church and

then another church so chicken so yeah you got to be careful down there but sometimes it's the worst one that's the last show cuz you leave the flight out you're thinking about that show exactly and it doesn't make me miss those weekends cuz I'm doing all one-nighter outdoor nonsense and they're all so grateful yes so it's nice to not have I did the one with Danny Braff in New Jersey that one you do that one yeah I like breath and that was one of the few times I did a show and then sat my car was like I got another show I haven't done two in a night in a long time weird the second was ended up being better I

thought but yeah that feeling of a great show and a shit show in the same night is so weird cuz it's a real roller coaster totally and I gotta give a shout out to this guy Kyle he's a big ginger Irish Mick but he was like the head waiter kind of the manager guy and he does comedy so he knew what to do he's like if a guy yelled out he's like you want me to throw that guy out you know some clubs are like oh he's having fun yeah like he knew he would get you a drink you get your food then he'd be like oh I saw some kid trying to get in the green room so he'd throw him out like he knew exactly what a comic wanted yeah

the best way and it's not easy but the best way to have a great club is to have a club that's very successful and you don't need anybody's money coming on state which I'm repping the seller where I just sat and jerked off all those clubs where they're like we don't give a fuck yeah yeah but some of these clubs if you're working the funny tit in in Greenville yeah they're like we can't kick them out we need is eight bucks or whatever completely yeah which I get that too but at some point you gotta side with the comedian please we're dying up there folks exactly they don't always get that we're the most important part

which is what gnome has been saying for years the most the owner of the comedy seller he's like I recognized early that keeping the comics happy that's the most important yeah we're a fucking sewing circle we all get together we talk and people go how's Greenville and you go don't go there and they go all right fuck it now you're losing out on good comics well speaking of sewing circles and talking it's nice to keep this oh gotcha almost read the red print do today's episode is brought to you by talk space folks I'm sure you all need somebody to talk to you right now these are hard times maybe the hardest times

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Greenville because it was not easy but it's one of these clubs it's very hands-on like the waiter will pick you up for radio like all that shit right like they don't have they're not they're not shelling out uber money they're like we'll do it sure so I go I gotta get I gotta get to the airport tomorrow you know he's doing the money and you're settling up in the office he's like I was like hey what we guys do about the airport pick up some places give you a limo some place give you an uber whatever the guy goes I'll drive you what time was like well the flight said 830 so I want to be there at 730s like I'll pick

up at 7 I'm like is that a nightmare for you you know like you got a beer in your hand you've been having shots all night he's like that I don't care for the casualness yes it was too cash I like when I get a pick up I like a guy who's like let me call him right now he talks he goes 730 this guy's a star so you better not fuck this up I can't believe I'd be like yes sir no sir right and then you get an email confirmation the hotel involved I want everybody involved these people that just do the I got you I know he's got a joint in his mouth he's getting blown he's got a beer I was like you sure you're gonna make it you know

it was like the wake-up call episode I'm like you sure you got this but you know lo and behold he showed up right at 7 I'm wolfing down the free breakfast that's another thing the free breakfast is open baby no sneeze guard no nothing yeah I think no one get I think people get this thing I don't know I'm gonna get a bunch of emails I don't know nothing about nothing but it feels like people get it from being like in a place for over 15 minutes breathe and spit and fucking yeah all this business with like you know watching the package and I touched a banana and whatever the fucking through the eyes I'm like get out

of here yeah I got a pass by a three-minute chat a quick photo I think you're fine yeah it's extended time indoors no ventilation you know like this yeah exactly so he picks me up and we get to the airport and I'm having some trouble with my American app fuck you American Airlines you stink never works and I'll go I'm trying to check in you know and it won't let me check in and I go I'll just check in at the place in the kiosk and it just goes boom delayed mmm I'm like ah now oh delayed again you know so now I'm gonna miss my connection ah so now the whole thing is up in the air it's very uncertain like

all right now what do I do so I go up to the lady and I'm like okay looks like I'm missing my connection it's you know it's 7 30 8 30 in the morning I'm all groggy and she's like oh we can get you on one tomorrow morning oh I'm like wait what I'm just gonna get to Charlotte to get home the Charlotte flight is fine because I gotta go here to Charlotte to home sure it sounds like it's not up in the air by the way I wish it was so she's like yeah next one is that you know to Charlotte and then I go well how far away Charlotte she goes ah it's like you know an hour and a half drive and I go hmm maybe I'll rent a car and go just

drive to Charlotte because I don't want to miss this flight sure and she goes yeah you can do that so I go back out to the rental car place and there's a line around the corner because everybody's got this idea right so I go just out of curiosity I'm like yelling over what how much does it cost for any goes we got one car left we're doing about 260 like 260 I just need to get to Charlotte I'll give you the car back in on two hours he's like yeah yeah we we can jack the prices up because look at the demand right so I just popped in an Uber some old guy picked me up named Jackie picked up in a truck went there fell asleep in

the bed of the truck Uber yeah it was 111 dollars no shit yeah so I'm gonna call America and try to get a reimburse even though they're gonna fuck me right up the pooper and he didn't want to chat because down there they like to chat he did he wanted to chat and he was he was a little older so he was a little bite in me you know he was kind of loopy and mumbley and he was sniffing my hair and he goes yeah yeah I'm in a band too you know how's that right yeah oh yeah and I love you know I love to fix old car how about that oh and I love I love plant I love gardening I'm like all right and I did this move which is my new move I go

hey man it's early if I fall asleep don't take it personal hey that's nice yeah and he's like oh of course of course and then he'd said a few more things but I just didn't respond and it worked wow good for you and so when you got there did you did you wake up a little bit before did you have to just do like do periodical like eye opens I would wake up you know I do a squint to rue I plan possum back there and then I kind of peeked up and I saw like Charlotte Airport two exits I was like all right I got about ten more minutes laid down again and I'm like looking at my phone in the back you know and right when we got

there I just went oh and I had the drool going and a boner because there's nothing creepier than the backseat sleep and then you crack your eyes open you see the rear view and they're looking at you the guy's driving while looking at your sleeping face and you're like what is this I know it's terrifying but yeah I got there got on the flight made it home but it just it's such a throws you for a goop because you're like okay I'll just go to the airport you go in that zombie mode I'm on two hours of sleep I'm hungover I'm gay and then you're like go to the security just get me on a flight transfer another flight I'm home

this was like okay wake up snap into it Uber get there figure it out you know you had to get on your feet at 8 a.m. right yeah it's not play I don't miss any of that shit I missed the show you know what I miss the most is the hotel I've stayed in three hotels during all of this love it and I was just watching the new Woody Allen or the old Woody Allen that got cancelled because he you know whatever the fuck and it's not great by the way and they shot it right out here but it's a piece of shit but anyways but I still enjoyed it but they're in all the hotels and they're traveling and then you just want to be like oh fuck I

want to be in a hotel and traveling around yeah the hotels night right when you check in you're like ah you rub one out you put the TV on it's nice I'll tell you what I'm gonna do though I had this idea watching the Woody flick yes all these Manhattan hotels nobody's in them yes daycation they're like a hundred bucks so we're gonna go stay at the Highline the standard everyone fucks in the window and I'm trying to get her a fuck on the window but she's not as fun as me but now I mean remember early on at first open if you're not familiar I think it's the standard it's on highlight I think you're right the Highline I

said highlight but it was for a while everyone was fighting became the fuck in the window place and I got to see it a couple times live and so you can stay there for like a hundred and ten bucks it's normally 8,000 bucks so who'd you see Epstein Harvey anybody good I'm not sure they look like they were both the Dalty but I mean it was like up against the window the tits and it was pretty thrilling amazing yeah so we're gonna do that and you know the Pierre I'm like how much does that cost these days Carlisle the Plaza I mean what's it cost on a Wednesday I think it was about 350 a night for a lot of those high-end but

if it's a hundred bucks fuck it yeah I mean I looked at less high-end but like nice yeah you know four star or whatever the fuck but I want I want like a park view how fun would that be our view that's lunch we'll see I don't know who knows what's what but it's a grabbing you got the Christmas coming up could be a gift yeah why not it's fun we're in the city anyways I don't know yeah well you you go I've been hogging this well I gotta talk about oh boy getting a business text I should have gone airplane mode but I gotta talk about a few things please let me just make sure I got it oh I want to play my web series real

quick it goes live tomorrow Wednesday 3 p.m. what's this I've about teased a little bit it's a thing I shot in the basement with her Sean don't get too excited oh boy it's just me being a goof it's real silly 3 p.m. tomorrow on my YouTube channel subscribe Wednesday 3 p.m. and it's goofballs if you like the ultimate warrior you're probably like this all right act like a retard it's pretty fun by the way also this is written down you've you seen the show servant on a apple plus I've heard about it it's a M night Shamalama ding-dong produced it didn't write or direct it okay a bummer where you have to say his

names attached but he didn't make it I mean that's a bad sign I think it's a good sign though because a lot of his stuff is garbage that's what I mean oh I'm saying it's bad for him that I have to be like but he didn't make it yeah he just produced it you know I need like what a bad sign I know I know but I think that's just you most people just hear his name go I know that guy from the 16 candle or whatever but you you actually know he sucks most people just hear that name but anyway check it out this show is pretty it's on Apple plus which you can get a free trial and it's quite thrilling it's spooky and goofy and

whack not goofy kooky sir is it about Applebee's what are we talking who's the servant it's about a rich couple in Philadelphia and their baby dies which is hilarious already good and the woman's all shocked and chagrin so the therapist who's a kook says why don't we give her like a doll to kind of like be therapeutic so can take care of the doll and then hijinks ensues I don't want to give anything away all the doll comes to life well you didn't hear that for me little Chucky action a well it's not like that it's not like a fucking the dolls you know it's like the doll yeah I don't want to give nothing but it's

better than Chucky Chucky stinks I hate Chucky I never got it I don't like gremlins hey take that you homos I can take take or leave gremlins oh you got wet oh yeah that's not so easy the cute guy they're trying to sell a toy whatever sure but let me talk about this I mean Creek in the cave I feel like we should talk about that clothes there's a lot to get to but let me make sure I get to this because I had one of the great great nights of my career in comedy history since that sin bad show in the Caribbean he had a stroke I saw stroke a genius I was talking to a Natterman Braggin Dan Natterman on the phone about passport

business what on the phone can you believe it it's got to be a rotary me and Natterman on the phone I mean it was strange days but so we're talking on the phone he comes we're having phone sex I'm whispering and and he mentions hey sin bad just had a stroke right in the middle of the talk and I'm trying to talk about my passport or whatever but anyway so best of luck sin bad keep it tight or whatever sure yeah keep it fly fresh and funky and I hope you and your snowmobile suit are okay it was a man from that bit we he cheats on his girlfriend each you try to sneak home the birds be like yo some bad he's fucking hilarious

I mean I love that special great bit you hang out with them he's gonna die whatever it's good stuff anyway six eight really yeah yeah no kidding I got no fight with college Quinn about this two days ago he's like he's six and I'm like I think he's like six five he's like he's six eight all right all right damn all right give that a goog I don't know so calm was the guy saying six eight yeah because he's been wrong about a lot of oh well we kind of got it I was like I don't think he's sick I've met the guy he didn't strike me as a six-eater I feel like Conan was taller than sin bad but interesting well maybe he's

hunches yeah maybe the huncher Ron hunches I got a hunch I can't miss all right so anyways I'm doing this gig why don't I bring up Natterman because I talked to him because I was referencing comedian ah anyway so I got the gig in Royersford yeah we love Royersford and he's got us going every other month by the way so Joel love you buddy which is every month for you Tuesdays out there I think you're doing December I'm doing January you do February I do March so we got a every other mid-month thing going on you should be able to buy like Tuesdays with stories season tickets or something like that give me 40% off I

go on every list Norman show yeah you get like a bracelet like it's the fast pass at Disney something like that so I'm going down there and last time of course I brought Louie so Joel's kind of on me like hey is is Louie coming this time or what yeah start taking a little personal but whatever I hear he wants to sell a ticket that that's of course and everybody's excited the guys are Louie's Louie of course I don't really take it personally because now he's gonna hear this and text me like I'm sorry I'm only kidding we love you Joe Joe I mean I love that place I can't say anything more about it I think they're doing the

best outdoor comedy of anybody I agree no Lynn can I ask about the setup but it's getting a little nippy out does he have a hot tub or a fan or a heat lamp what are we talking well he's got two fans right here baby we love you pal but he's got the fat chooch he had a tent which is good because we're doing the first tent show and this is a rainy night if you remember a rainy night in Soho last Wednesday and so it's rainy like don't worry we got the tent and it's the first one but it's on all the sand and it was poor I mean we're going down there it's pouring but I'm getting ahead of myself I get ahead I'm getting ahead so I'm in

Royersford and I asked Louie hey I don't know if you want to come by we had a fun time last time let me know if you want to come I got Ron on Hirshberg big dick Rogers all right fun crew and of course James Madden is hosting and so I got the car I'm like we'll meet at my place we'll all drive down haven't heard from Louie but I've texted him and he's kind of responding to other stuff but not responding to the show I know what that's about so then I'm like oh maybe he thinks I'm gonna plug we're secretly promoting him so he's not responding to that that's where I'm you know you always start thinking about other stuff I'm

like he's responding to the other stuff but not to the show stuff and he's not a guy that just ignores a question if he doesn't want to answer yeah he'll give you the straight no I'm not going fuck you so he's just not responding I go oh well whatever I guess he's not coming Tuesday night we got a show we're doing a show at 13th step canner's old bar remember that place I'm there tomorrow it's a good show he was doing it before COVID he's brought it back and it's all safety first there's seats you know six feet apart sure everyone wears the mask they got the cream that you wipe your hands on I don't think does anything either

the pure anal I don't think anyone's getting it from touching stuff but whatever the fuck but those are just my theories it's a mental thing makes you feel good I've taken your shoes off of the you know exactly hey less and the thermometer there you go so that no one ever looks at so we go do the gig and this is a hot gig canner's nervous it's his first one back he's got Nick Griffin Matt Broussard me Sarah big dick Rogers is hosting and solid that's a solid lineup and honkies so we go over there and we're all hanging out in the back everyone's got their masks on good hang we're all chatting and Louie texts back

and goes a I'm gonna come to that roars for thing tomorrow all right we got confirmation so I go great all right and that's big it's exciting because a I can do less time which is nice because I haven't written shit since the last time I was there yeah and be it's always fun because you get that pop to go hey it comes Louie everyone goes crazy it's fun celebrity and then he go I go hey by the way if you want to warm up we're at 13th step you can walk over here second Avenue 9th Street every Tuesday and he goes are they is it Louie friendly over there and I'm like I don't think anyone gives a shit I asked canner I asked Sarah

nobody cares and bring it up anyone even gives a few people do but most people don't share normal people so I go hey come over so big dick Rogers goes up there's about 14 people there he does great Louie shows up he kills Griffin kills Broussard kills Sarah everyone's is killing great show couple Tuesdays there did you get canner's got a new squeeze meet her it's all fun and games we go walk out there we're all like that was great how about that joke and then me Steve Louie and Sarah all in the car talking about great Griffin is we're like that guy's a master he's alleged oh my god what about that joke he used this

word it was like a real blowing Griffin Fest I recorded it and sent it to him lifted his spirits a little but I mean he is really gotten better brilliant comedian next level most underrated guy in New York maybe I would say and he's better than he used to be like 20 new minutes this guy he's been running around I've seen him on patios and gay bars you name it's all all COVID era stuff I mean he's got amazing shit so anyways we're all blowing him and it's that thing of like I'll see you tomorrow it feels like old days yes so then I tell Ron on and Steve Rogers and these these queefs have been doing comedy for six months I

mean they're shitting their pants they're fucking in the bushes sure so nervous they're like how are we getting there what should we do and I go meet me at the seller at four and I really lament I forgot I should have texted you I forget that you live right here I don't know where you were you might have been out of town I think I was out of town but it was one of those things we meet up for lunch Phil Hanley's there what it's Hanley Liz me Steve run on we're talking comedy we're breaking it was that we're talking to Chappelle thing we're all going blah blah blah it's a big hang what a group and then I leave I feel

terrible we walked out here and I'm like this is Norman's house and I'm like I should have called you a texted you I don't know what I was looking out the window with a tear coming down I mean we were standing right outside I throw pebbles but I mean we're to be truth be told we were only there for about 20 minutes we got there we had to just meet there ship because I couldn't be like meet me at his house because they'll be sitting on his doorstep like little children yes anyways we walk by I point to the house this is where it all happens yada yada yeah we go over there we meet up with him he's on time for the

first time in his life we get in his vehicle now these two guys I can see that the knees shaking back there and they're like I'm a big fan now are they jizzing and queuing and squeaking they're jizzing and queuing and squeaking a little bit Ronan he's he's first class this guy he doesn't give a fuck cuz he'll be like this what you don't like Casablanca what are you shitting me and which I respect cuz you know that I'm that kind of guy and get a little Jewish mom and I'm like huh what do you say now I don't care who you are you're wrong dickless you know what I like about Ronan he's the kind of guy you can

argue movies and art with without it getting weird yeah I'm like you're incorrect you're a piece of shit he's like all right well you're a piece of shit for this I'm like all right if we're both pieces of shit and then we have a laugh and we you know fucking suck each other's dicks I'd pay and we maybe this is a patreon idea but you too cuz he's a soprano's junkie oh we just had it out oh yeah we had it out in the park Chloe Radcliffe had a birthday party she was on ecstasy or some shit and we're talking in the you know in the park and maybe I'll take that part out but we're talking in the

park and I started it's like one of those things where I'm like he's like you're the guy you think soprano sucks I'm like I think it stinks and then slowly like what's this who said the sopranos is not good and then it's it ends up being like nine guys and then there was some guy with a beard on a bike I don't even know who he is I don't even know if he was with us but he was like I think it stinks too I kissed him on the lips and who's this bearded bike bandit I don't know who he is but I think he's a comic but I wanted to fuck him in the ass until he came sure a city bike but so anyways we have it out

but it's all fun and games just funny he's like that's literally the worst opinion I've ever heard on anything ever and he thinks Shawshank stinks he thinks force gump stinks he's got no respect for 94 force company I'm shaky on well that's fair but he thinks Shawshank blows but I was like it's because Tim Robbins is a bad actor he's like I don't agree with that I'm like you think Shawshank stinks but you don't think Robbins is bad Robin stinks Shawshank is great interesting so it was a whole thing he's a great guy real guy smart guy funny guy and Steve was there too anyways we drive down and I

Steve was great was great also and we had a great hang the whole ride great car ride but then it's like pouring and Louie's like how far is this fucking place we're skidding off the road it was like this wild night we have to it's like having a dad we have to be like I guess we got to be quiet right now right road is I mean it was pouring torrential rain don't make me come back there we get there it finally the rain has pitted out it's spitting now we meet up with James matter I'm starving I forgot to get food I didn't want to make stop because we were running late and then soul Joe goes don't worry I ordered

some pizzas and a Philly cheese oh the man and his like brother-in-law or father-in-law somebody comes in with like three steamy pizza we open it it's like a classic pizza oh the cheese with the melty and the hot class I mean like it just looked perfect circle the red rim the white cheese oh it was beautiful you know you see people now these fucking hipsters are like we got a pizza and there's got these rabbits on it fucking sticks and leaves and you're like fuck you you're you do it's it's it's it's cauliflower queef get out of here you come guzzled nuts I mean this was a pizza like a pizza you see in like a

kindergarten book we like pizza you know what pizza always look good to me is the Ninja Turtles pizza they'd open that box it was stretch out it would eat about this is a Ninja Turtle pizza and I mean and then I have no idea but I mean it was something else so I eat the pizza who told you eat the pizza Madden goes on he kills fucking just killing I mean it's a small crowd because you know rain so we sold 110 but only 70 showed up but they're all in the tent and now the sand is all mud it's just mud everywhere in puddles but everyone's just accepted it because they're excited like Woodstock it felt

like Woodstock that's what I said I feel like I'm like I feel like Aerosmith and Woodstock everyone's knee-high and mud and Madden kills he brings out Steve Steve Rodgers killing kill I'm telling you he's killing he's killing he's got a dick out they're all sucking it there you go best set I've ever seen him have and I've seen him do some killer stuff I mean he is killing and the crowd's hot and me and Louie and Ron on are in the back and it's one of those ones where everyone's excited to watch each other Ron on goes up and he takes it up a level he's killing that that level of like when you have a guy on before he is doing to what

not with Chris Allen obviously but sometimes you have a guy before you that's just like ah this is a little too much yeah and Louie's howling bent over he's like who is this guy what is this man what a what a feeling for Ron on sentence I mean I'm telling you I mean he brought the heat one of the funniest guys out there great new album out there yes check it out and he works it and he's out there screaming and jumping and he's sweating his beard moist oh yeah so funny I mean they loved him and it's the first June they've ever seen I think and James goes up there it brings me up and right away it's like hot dog city with

ketchup on the side I mean it's just ripping it and I oh my god we got this is crazy wow all right we got it we got it all right we got another ad to read this is gonna be a long episode you damn right it is so I go up and I'm killing I had to do the thing where I'm like you guys are ruining every show that we do in the next week because I'm gonna be up there going yeah but be fucking your because it's killing so hard I can't believe it so I do about 20 and I go hey folks that's it for me what a great crowd and they think it's over they're like happy and I go I got a friend of mine came down for the trip it's Lily

CK and they go a shit and the fucking the rain is coming down he comes up he's all wet and he just sucked their dicks for about 30 minutes killed and then we all get chairs me and Steve and run out like is there chairs around here we get three chairs we wipe them off they're all wet we stick them in the mud and we're sitting there and it's drizzling but no one gives a fuck so we're sitting the side stage in the rain watching Louie everybody's wet the guys that all worked there Mike pond he brings cookies because we talked about Wegmans they're all Tuesdays the guy just drops a box of Wegmans on us I mean I shit blood Steve

and I are making out we eat the cookies holy hell what a night then we get in the car I'm almost done we get in the car and we're all going what the fuck that was amazing can you believe that oh my god you had a great set no you had a great set no you're the best oh god we're all fucking in the car then we're driving up the street and I'm about to say we gotta stop at Wegmans I need some extra Wegmans there's an ice cream place right down the street it's all fluorescent white established 1945 ice cream come on I go oh my god look at ice cream then he goes what lays it out I mean like just lays a slab in the

ground everybody's holding the thing he does the fucking the one oh yeah the spin around I mean like we're in the big SUV big fucking tire slab we pull in it's 905 that little nerd guy looks exactly like me he comes out picks up the menu the lights click off Louie slams on the brakes puts it in park we're not even a spot we're in the middle of the thing I go do the thing you're celebrity he comes running out pulls his mask down he's like oh and then you can't hear him because he's up there yeah and the last thing I hear as he's like running goes I'll give you a hundred dollars for three cones and then you

see them kind of have an exchange and then he turns he goes waves us in we all go come on we leave four car doors open all the doors are open the lights are on the windshield wipers are going it's a little nerd guy I mean it looks exactly like me but shittier yeah and then like a woman who's kind of hot but older where'd she come from who's this she was in there sweeping he's the menu guys she clicked the lights off yeah lights come back on with their leaning out the window what'll it be boys and I get a big dish of chocolate chip he gets strawberry whatever the fuck it gives them a hundred bucks the woman's

like I can't take this and he's like you got to take it give it to somebody else meanwhile you're like you work in ice cream shop and Royors for money but this is God fearing Christian country there they got to be by the Bible the Ten Commandments and you know kid fucking she might have been confused I don't know what happened eventually she took the money we ate the ice cream in the car he's got the cone we're all just quiet eating our ice cream the whole way home we talk movies music comedy I mean it was amazing wow he drops us off in the middle of the east hell we all get cabs they got ubers they don't believe

in cabs these young kids whatever the yellow cab business is about to die so I jumped in the yellow cab just dying cruise all the way home and what a night special thank you soul Joel and I don't know how we're gonna top them back in January I don't know if Louis will come but my god he can come in my face yeah I mean I just gave my band what a story I mean that should be the name of a movie a hundred bucks for three cones I mean I got chills unbelievable multiplying I mean great ice cream to I mean it was a special night and I'll tell you it almost gave me an erection you got that right Tuesday the story is

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try it free blue chew dot com finally a website that can give you an erection it's really good folks no joke it's a hot item lunch get get on it love blue chew all right well tell tell me some other shit we got some time here we gotta extend because we got fucking nine ads yeah well I gotta ask you and this is just a preference thing and I gotta see how you feel about it and maybe we got the video I could even go visual now I've been working with this guy Eric man he's a cute kid he did the fairy video he did park Norman he's a he's a good editor-filmer guy he goes hey you know he's a big Jew he goes hey buddy we've

been working a lot together COVID has ruined my dad's leather factory so I gotta he's got a huge warehouse full of leather jackets would you want one and I was like wow I feel bad I can't take I was like the ice cream cunt I was like I can't take a leather jacket those things are eight million dollars and I'm not really a leather jacket guy yeah it's a tough change it's a tough change yeah it's a big jump and I always think back to that Joe de Rosa moment you know back in the 80s when he walked in the cellar and and David tell us oh you got your attitude jacket I was I loved that line and I think it's so funny but I don't

want to be that guy sure I'm not leather I'm goofball dick cheese queef master yeah so I went down there dad was nice he was cute went by and you know you're going through all the leather there's the leopard print there's the white leather there's the you know thriller Michael Jackson red with all the zipper you going through and I found one that's the least ridiculous okay you know it doesn't have the big flaps and the chains and the metal and the snaps and the buckle what's the buckle about the buckle and I also hate the collar is jizzing on your neck and all that and so I wanted something just pretty almost

like that jacket but leather sure and I found the one they had an actually fit okay and I wear it around the house the lj but I can't go outdoors in it because I just I hear my high school friends going oh what are you grease lightening your fucking Thunderbird come jizz quiff well it's hard I feel you I get it Sarah had a great bit about this about trying to corporate a hat and you got to wear it on Halloween and then just leave it on after you ditched the rest of the costume that's hilarious but yeah it's tough I mean I'm looking at a fur coat over here I hope that's not yours blanket that's a blanket okay I thought

you were David putty over here now I shot a bear that's nothing that's that's a what do you call a throw ah yes by the way I told you Halloween we were outside with a blanket from now on anytime I'm sitting outside I'm taking a blanket yeah it's a game changer I'll sit outside in January with a blanket I mean I was hot but anyways the blanket guy though I'll be the blanket guy and you're gonna kill some Native Americans better than the leather jacket guy yeah well I mean should I grab it or let me see it I used to wear it I'll buy the time I used to wear a leather jacket I think we talked about this before I was a leather

jacket guy in my late 20s mid 20s and I left the jacket at Doc holidays in East Village and I never got it back and it had a note from my previous girlfriend telling me how much she loved me and it was a poem and I was so bummed about the note but I was leather jacket guy for a long time that looks great are you kidding it looks great I mean it's a little much cuz you look a little bit like a Thunderbird yeah yeah I don't know I feel too sexy it feels like I own a nightclub named Cheetahs and ideal blow on the side and I got a I got a you know like a Maserati it's not too far off from my old Navy which was you know I

love the old Navy 25 bucks I mean this thing's a piece of shit but it looks okay that looks great especially with the hood popping yes it's it's a bomber which is perfect for me in my act but this I looked it up this is a $900 jacket wow like high-end shit denim or black denim is the name of it the problem is you're a little you're a little tan and you're you're you got a square jaw and you're a handsome guy and so it's tough and I want to do a bit about this it's weird when you get to a level of like fitness or attractiveness that people think you're a douche yes like if I go shirtless in the park people

like there's a guy with no shirt on the day some of these fitness guys I see him shirtless you like what an asshole right the people that have the fucking divvied here yeah that's like every single piece has got a thing yeah what a dick but I'm like well I'm the same as that guy it's just he's in shape yeah exactly it's a personal thing it just hurts your feelings so you get mad yeah so you might be too handsome for the leather jacket oh I don't know that's insane but I just I just can't do it but like you see a guy like Ryan Reese so walk up and you're like hey looks normal yeah some people look no cuz I've

always been wearing it yes you're gonna get a little shit I'll get some some pushback I mean Keith will come in your face right I'm ready but I think it looks pretty good it fits well stand up for how much I'm out of frame here but I don't like this either how it goes it goes out yeah lay you know yeah we're getting all weird in here I feel very uncomfortable but what's the lady say she's into it but she's like just wear it you know on a nice thing like if you go to some kind of event that's kind of nicer because you don't want to show up to an open mic in this thing is a $900 jacket I'll get egg on my face can I

smell your arm please oh that's nice hey oh yeah that's that's real cow hide dickless there but I don't know I don't know I'll never wear it I wear it around the apartment I make an egg omelette in my pajamas and then LJ maybe if you get a patch like a big Tuesday's patch on the back that's not maybe I'll get a swastika or that's lunch a quiff it up I don't know but yeah it's I feel like the kid in the what's that movie the monster squad right yeah I mean maybe boy meets world TV maybe or something TV maybe yeah yeah I don't know feels like you gotta wear let me it's like Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock and Jim Jeffery they all go leather

yeah don't feel like a leather man I get the the nervousness of it any kind of new item is nerve-wracking I mean even I get the Ted Bakers for TV a couple nights I'll wear it's Friday night the seller I'm like I'm gonna wear a Ted Baker it's a lot of comments a lot of yeah exactly it's the same with a hat your gals right I mean every time you throw a hat on not really us with a ball cap but you know like a Matt Ruby's got an Indiana Jones thing going or a visor beanie any any kind of yamaka bad news yeah a new look is tough you almost want to say this was a gift yes it's a thing it was a gift maybe that's what

the patch I'll get gift yeah I like it it works it's it's unsettling yeah you get used to it I mean if we did the whole episode by the end I'd be like oh yeah it's a jacket all right maybe I'll try it out one night you know you have a dinner party I'll throw it on all right I if you go to the seller check the lineup make sure there's no Bobby no Keith I'm gonna have a fart it might be funny oh that was to die for that was a perfect part I'm out of shit oh geez all right well we haven't gone too bad let me see I think I'm out of jizz here we got the

LJ we got the Royers Furt I'm there in December well you got any hot dates cook in there it's sloppy jalopy I got a few things web series premieres tomorrow 3 p.m. on my YouTube go subscribe we finish Brian Parisa you know him he released an album he's funny funny guy guy nice guy I think it's called oh fuck fuck me hard I mean let me give that a Google I give it a look I tweeted it and I can't even remember the name of it god damn it suck my fuck check that out and the TV show servant I don't get anything from that I want to just say rest in peace Creek in the cave I mean how many nights totally forgot that place is

closing maybe we'll do a bonus we could just tell Creek stories yeah that's where I think you know I kind of first started hanging out we hung out at Barcelona we went on the road trip but I would always see you there and I mean I restarted my whole career there deans list Mike I mean coming back at the 11 o'clock Mike and saw the whole thing I've been drunk there so many so many hours there Rebecca Trent shout out to her she was the owner she was a she's like a comedy mom we all love her she took care of us free Thanksgiving dinner if you had nowhere to go I'm talking Chris Kringle around Christmas New Year's parties the monster

show we're all friends here what was that when we all got high midnight run midnight run with Andy Haynes I mean that I've got so many memories there that I've had sex on that stage I fucked it and the sound booth God the back patio the Legionist ganks I mean there's so many mems first podcast we ever did together was there oh we did a podcast that room that's not a little bit like a toilet I mean that right yeah we did that thing where we bounce jokes and I think Marcus Parks was producing it yeah wow way way back and yeah special plays really it should have a documentary about it I hope somebody does it but we're

all poor but I mean we had the two rows the Yanis rose the Nate Bargassi rose but think about this think about crazy this is big Jay there was the Nate and the Yanis rose nobody filmed a second of it right it was long enough ago that nobody was like I'm putting this on my Twitter on my Instagram we did a roast for the love of the game I'm getting goosebumps telling it and the jokes were amazing it was an amazing night sold out crazy packed and nobody posted no we weren't even posting back then that's true and it's the first gang fest was there I mean the first sticker treat was there I mean that place is legendary we

burned Rich Voss's hat a couple years ago it's gang fest lit cigars in the back I mean oh that is that where I got pissed dumped on yeah yeah yeah yeah I did my one-man show there I mean I mean it was amazing and it's a huge part of my life because you got Montreal there I got Montreal there I remember talking to that day I was making spaghetti and I was like I'm watching the Bruins game and I went there and I had the best set of my life yeah then I ate shit up there but it was a special place yes and every single person I met on the road the bummer about is everyone asks you for advice I'd always say just go to the

creek when you come to New York the creek and be there and make friends and it's a comedy clubhouse the crawfish boils the crab boils all the dinners all I mean she hooked it up she gave us free food free booze I mean the pinball I have a drink named after me there I've got I've won a couple Creek Awards it was really a special I mean Donald Glover East I hang out there TJ Miller it was like Alana Glazer Hannibal Michael Che like everybody was there Seinfeld was there Seinfeld was there we had the twist party I brought Quinn in I said I'll call him right now she never stopped blowing me because of it which I felt good about

that's nice and amazing place rest in peace COVID sucks we love the creek bro and I hate this sounds pejorative but it's it's a I thought it was like a cockroach like this place will never go a nuclear holocaust can happen or a juke and shit on it it'll never go away and then boom the COVID the silent killer I mean I got Danger Fields which I was like ah you know Danger Fields was on it you know it's it's got a preconceived condition but it's fucking the creek I didn't think it would go but Rebecca should remain in the comedy family she's in the umbrella she was at Montreal she was running festivals she

was booking this and that so hopefully she will live on and I sent her a nice text and I saw you get some great post the photos my god the photos I mean the photos of everyone dancing in there was great and the creek awards everything was just it was a special place yeah sucks it's all those memories just gone what do you do what do they do they do a thing the kiss and point of thing yeah I don't know how does it touch the left it and the right whatever tentacles spectacles out of beer and wallet and watch fuck you dad yeah I don't know but yeah that's the other the the Brian Parise he's called last wishes okay last

look right yeah that's the one that's it yeah okay yeah he's a good good egg good kid I did Montreal with him oh there you go got a great stash and oh what was I gonna say oh you you told a hot show store I can't follow that CK ice cream stuff but I just want to say I said you know I say yes to every Tom Dick and this guy goes hey I have a show in Jersey a town I'd never heard of before it Morristown oh I've heard of Morristown never heard of it and I go yeah I got the night off I'll go there and there was one of those things with a day of I'm like what am I counter Morristown then you like look into it you're like oh I

gotta take the New Jersey transit let me see if I can get a ride from Doug Key or some guy and he's a he's not available all right so like the sun's going down I gotta walk out to Penn Station get on the New Jersey transit there's hobos everywhere Penn stations like fucking zombie land down there it's a wild it was ugly before yeah exactly and so you know you ride out there it's an hour you kind of dozing off falling asleep where the hell am I going I get off the train it's like Pleasantville it's just you know lawns and picket fences I'm like what the hell is this you walk 10 minutes boom the guys like hey everything okay

you're like yeah what am I doing what is this I get there it's a restaurant called Tiff's and he's like oh yeah we have a comedy show upstairs we've been doing it for 20 years but you know COVID now we got to do the patio and I'm like all right he goes I have a meal super sweet guy nice guy sit down have some fish tacos I look at the patio it's jam-packed full of Tuesdays comedy shirts everywhere like what is this place he's like oh dude this is a famous comedy club we had Artie Lang here a couple weeks ago before this and that I'm like Artie Lang was here like good names again we've got a tell and this and that I'm

like what it's a staple I go out there I don't care I've just set up my life wow you know that feeling when you're in the middle of nowhere killing and you're like no one will hear about this no one will record this this is going up nowhere and it felt great it was just like you said about the Kreega just felt like I'm doing it for the love of the game these guys are comedy fans we're out here they're dying at everything new stuffs working I'm riffing I'm crowd working all the other comics are there watching in the back like oh there's that guy I love Tuesdays the whole thing and it was just one of these magical nights I

didn't see coming because I'm on the train like a douche I didn't know what the hell I'm getting into and it was just I rode the train back with a smile ear-to-ear and I shit myself I love it because those are the nights that's why I have such a problem with all the comedy specials not that there's so many but I have a hard time watching them because I'm like I know this is not capturing those special nights and that's the hardest part of comedy you do so many shows like that whether it be the early show or a Wednesday at the funny bone or tiffs yes or wherever it is you have those shows and you're like I wish

everybody could experience this not just see it on video but experience it yes so even the best special of all time with you know bring the pain or whatever you're like but this at the fucking fucking face or whatever oh yeah yeah whatever that whatever night whatever Tuesday night is like the bet nobody gets to see the best version of it unless they're actually at the show which is why you should go and see live comedy especially at some place called Tiff's in New Jersey that sounds amazing Tiff's Morris Town give it a goog look it up go to the website see who's coming you got to do it if you can I mean heated patio covered

great just so fun you get a meal and it was this cool thing of like you get off stage like man I did like an hour and ten it was so hot you know and the crowd work and everything and then I go when's the next train some guy goes there's one in about seven minutes and I go anyone want to give me a ride to the train station the guy goes some guy was sure just a guy who lives there he works of you know fucking Kmart got in his car he drove into the train station we chatted one of the perks of being a man by the way I'm just getting a car with this lunatic his he's got a filthy civic you know this Burger King rappers on the

ground is ash trays full of shit and we've dropped you off we have a great time we high five jump on the train never got a ticket and the guy walks up and I go I just did a comedy show at home a ticket that he goes ah whatever and he you know yeah it was like a great night and I come home I got over like midnight and you know the ladies in pajamas finger herself and I was like you what I gonna believe this I told her she didn't care and we made love I mean that sounds great great times I mean we're living the life people are gonna get upset cuz we're having fun we're sorry but it was all socially anal you know

except for the car ride with psychopath but other than that I mean it was it was I should have brought shirts I could have sold out these guys were pumped they're amped up and just cool you can go somewhere and people know you wherever you go yeah so tiffs good stuff tiffs join the patreon by the way yes you're on as rock we did by the way a lot of positive response on the Chappelle breakdown we did a whole you kill I most sent that to Jerry oh geez I thought about it but he doesn't he doesn't want to buy a patreon but I think he would have loved that cuz you nailed it we could probably send him the raw

audio but I mean it was a great radio 30 minute we talked a lot in depth about the Chappelle and I mean how many patrons we have now we've been doing a bonus a week the entire COVID yeah I keep seeing people go you should do two episodes a month well for three bucks you can get to and also I mean there's so much gratitude for all the people that are the patreon because it really is sustaining us and yes yes so thank you for that and it doesn't go nowhere you get hours and hours of shit and don't forget all the live episodes are up there yep and I think what is if we get to 3500 we do a live stream on YouTube

you can ask us questions you can interact with us we'll be talking to your face-to-face basically off a YouTube live stream and that should be a real humdinger and yeah tell a friend get everybody on all the live ones being that you know I'll be on the road with Doug Key or fact Chris Al I'll throw one of those up we're drunken a fucking I should apologize we did one it was an hour and 15 minutes he's high out of his mind I'm in a blackout on tequila and I just sent it to Shelby and I was like I hope we didn't say the n-word and apparently it went up and I got no tweets about it so I think people hated

it I'm sure it's fine we went off the rails it was real boring I think but yeah they're all going up there it's all fun and good stuff and get in there but to look at something to plug oh January fuck me hard January I only got one real date on the books I'm trying to be fucking you know whatever January 7th through the 9th helium Philadelphia it's my only real date so it's gonna sell out because I think it's gonna be 25% or 50% capacity to get tickets early January 7th of the 9th helium Philadelphia one of my favorite clubs ever great club do that town I'm I'm all over the Midwest in January doing all the funny

bones Kansas City and Omaha all that shit gonna do a real run I'm in New Orleans this Saturday I'm doing a show outdoors check it out give it a goog I can't think of the name of the place then I'm doing the Zoni mash burger on the Wednesday and happy Thanksgiving and I should bring my I'm going to New Orleans I should bring my recorder oh yeah bring the recorder and April we're gonna have a fucking vaccine be it all tossed out there it's a few months six months I'll believe it when I jizz it five months whatever they're gonna December they're gonna give it to the essential fucks and then yeah I think January the

old fucking assholes get it and then April we should be sticking it up our ass well what's up with these chuches they won't take it you hear about these yeah I'm not talking about the people won't take it but you know that's their loss but it right my dick hole I'm ready for it but I don't know I mean I should have died by now I'm selling merch I'm kissing strangers I'm blowing hobos well I think maybe you had it I think I might have had it I don't know what's what but we'll see supposedly it's all wild right now so be careful out there let's just get through the winter we'll be back I talked to Shafi he's like the smartest

guy I know Shafi Hosei and he reads and he's from Bangladesh or whatever sure I don't know they're smart it seems smart yeah yeah love a dish but he reads everything and he said oh no question no question we'll be back I can't do the accent really well but it was good for somebody it's not like somebody but not him I think that was my cabbie but anyway anyways he's like we'll be back hundred percent he's the smartest guy I know so be safe fuck your mother in the ass yeah praise Allah and yeah queef in your own tuna we'll see you next week happy turkey