Tuesdays with Stories! - #379 Sloppy Pages

Episode Date: December 8, 2020

Hot, classic ep here folks as the guys get some old Playboys from a fan, Joe deals with some noisy Tik Tokers, and Mark can't seem to find a ride to a gig. Check it out! Check out our new merch here! Shirts, stickers, phone cases, mugs, you name it! https://www.teepublic.com/user/tuesday-s-with-stories Sponsored by: MyBookie (mybookie.ag code: tuesdays), Blue Chew (bluechew.com code:tuesdays) & Hawthorne (hawthorne.co code: tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays

Hey everybody, you know me. I am obsessed with sports when college basketball is back, which I'm thrilled It's a little tough with no crowd. Yeah, I think college basketball loses a lot without the crowd But I'm still watching and one way to replace the crowd is to do a little betting throw a few bucks down Even if you're not a fan I watched Cincinnati Xavier the other day a little Crosstown rival and and I'm sitting there going Cincinnati's gonna win this game. I'm sure of it and then all of a sudden they start coming back I wish I had a few bucks on it and if I want to put some bucks on it I will be using my bookie because he's my bookie

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Tuesdays to get your first deposit matched halfway up to 1,000 clams start winning at my bookie a G with my special our special offer Code Tuesdays. All right, let's do it up. Whoo Hey mark fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do great. Good to be here. Welcome to Tuesdays with stories Hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag Ha ha ha ha Surf's up

And she didn't even flush Knock knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe list. Yeah, it's Tuesdays with stories everybody That's terrible. This is supposed to be cheesy Hey The up has begun and life is happening folks and you only get one I'm Joe list and that over there across the way is hey Mark Norman here Sorry, my lighting is terrible. My hat gave this painting is petrifying. I'm all over the road

I got a one big kitchen lamp. I need a ring light these kids with the ring light. They look Majestic, well here. I got a ring light and it's downstairs. I just didn't go get it because I'm a fucking douche But I gotta get it. I got the glasses computer thing. It's brutal. You can see my porn in here. Look at this Whoo, is that rock Hudson or holy hell? That's Debbie does I'm trying to tilt No, no, yeah, you're all over the place But you look at you were in Google glasses I feel like I can see the weather and the the headlines in there. I'd like some of those Google glasses. They seem like fun Yeah, I'll take it. I'll take a Google glass or a

Stain glass whatever you got But yeah, this lighting sucks. I'm trying to get get get going you give a ring light to a quasi moto He looks good there. They're pretty sweet. Yeah, they're pretty fun. I got one downstairs I didn't want to go get it. You know Sarah's down there. I don't know what she does down there I think she's got this dildos vibrators that the works, you know, we got a basement. She just goes down there for like five hours She comes back. She smells like cigarettes and her makeup saw a lot of place I think she's got a guy down there I think she's got an only fans is what that sounds like. She's cleaning up down there. She's got her credit card

Swiper going she's probably cleaning up. Do you know about only for you on only fans? What's going on? We're we on there for a minute. What happened with that? I mean, what is only fans? They gave us a trial run and that vagina dried up quick. Nobody bought nobody sold nobody came clean nobody nobody enjoyed it and Yeah, I think you know it's it's the new playboy in in the sense that You know back in the day was like, oh shit What's it Nancy Reagan's doing playboy? Wow? It was like a kind of a badge of honor and now people are like, you know

You saw Nancy Reagan on the news then you're like, oh shit. We can see her naked. That's crazy And now it's hey this reality star or pop singer or whoever we get to see her naked Right by the way, Nancy Reagan one tip that would be a hell of a playboy. It would be a plague Half of it's missing, you know, wait, wait, she only had one can well. She had her can removed because They were collecting bottles and cans down at the depot. I think she had tit cancer and they scooped one out I believe or maybe both of them. I think What give that a goog at home? I never knew she was a Singular I remember I remember because it's one of those things that I don't I didn't read the news story

But somebody said it and so I just went ahead with a bunch of Nancy Reagan has no tits joke But it might have been like hey, she's got no tits do it. What kind of first lady is this? Yeah, that was big Remember flat was big. You don't hear about flat anymore. Everybody was flat. She's flat. He's flat My dad's ass is flat now flat is not as common I mean DiPallo would make me laugh every time because it ordered a drink and He goes make sure it to get it did get a captain in Diet Coke And it's a make sure the coke is fresh last time you brought it It was flatter than my sister's ass and it made me laugh every time. Whoo. No, that's that's cold

I mean the sister is what changes it by the way, oh go ahead you go you go Well, we're doing after if we're doing zingers that I that are there are old that I still think hold up This is to me is the most Impressive construction of a joke well two of them and and then we'll start the show I guess because now we're getting into comedy Bullshit here in math, but there's a guy George Miller and you watch it And you're like oh norm got a lot from George Miller and he has a joke where he goes man I went to one of these restaurants the other day. There's like eight million waiters There's the fork waiter. He brings you a fork. There's the dessert waiter. He brings you the dessert the head waiter

He was my favorite And you're like that's a great joke and it's really clever But how did he think because you know you see head waiter you go okay head waiter He's the guy who gives you head, but the way he got to it is so smart Right. Yeah fun fun setup. We were last night. Sarah and I were talking about one of our favorite jokes Michael Palisac, you know Michael Palisac. Oh, he's cute He's got a joke where he says and it's one of those jokes that I'm like I would kill to tell that joke every night so relatable

I would be in the green room excited to tell it where he says Hey folks. Yeah, I'm a little little fucked up tonight. I hope you can bear with me I'm a little stressed out. I got a 6 a.m flight in a couple months So good So that's very you Well, sarah's got a 6 a.m flight to my and she's petrified and died the whole thing and you're just stressed You're like, I gotta get up. Fuck me and it's just on your mind. So it's a it's a great joke What's the other miller joke?

Well, this is this is a shambling and I think you know it but it's it's one of those jokes I'm like, how did he get to there? How did he go from a to b to c? And it's uh, I don't want to fuck it up a shambling goes Yeah, you know, I'm uh, I'm dating I'm dating miss georgia And then he goes, ah, just I should be honest. It's uh, it's former miss georgia. All right. I should be honest again It's george foreman How'd you get to that? That's a great one. It reminds me of uh, sarah silverman's joke where she says, uh

Uh, I was dating a guy said my vagina. I was maybe as a doctor. I can't remember but my vagina smells like a peach a peach tree A peach tree dish. That's what he said. Oh That's fun fun one And uh, what was the other one you almost got to let your brain's filter turn off to come up with a joke like that Yeah, there's a lot of those good. You ever listen to dwight york. You ever dive in? I mean dwight york is great, but he's got that 10 jokes one is good thing Right, right

There's a lot of those guys. He's like trail mix. You're just waiting for that m&m Mm-hmm There's a lot of those guys that have 50 jokes and one is good and some have a thousand jokes and zero are good So i'll take one and ten. They're all uh They're all doing very well actually He had the one york where he said, uh, I met a girl she had a weird deformity one of her breasts was larger than the other two That's a that's a clinker that takes a sec. How about this one dwight york? Uh, I don't I don't want people to pick me up for being homeless

So I just sleep in the line in front of I sleep in front of ticket master Oh, that's fun. That's that's like a clever just idea in general. That's pretty smart. Yeah, that is that is smart and fun Uh, I heard this one the other day on a buddhist podcast This lady tells mostly bad jokes, but it's fun. It was a it was a cute one Where the guy loses his car keys and he says god for god's sakes just find my car keys I'll never jerk off again. I'll never come in my wife's ass. I'll never I'll never say the n word again If you just find my car keys and then he goes. Oh never mind god. I found him. Yeah That's cute because it's human nature. It sums us all up. It's cute

I mean I threw in the n word part. She actually said the n word but Um, well those buddhists are known to hate the blacks But buddhist is there anyone that's a nudist buddhist? Is that a character? Could that be something? I like it. That's a that's a tv show on abc That's great. The nudist budd. I think that's a ross Bennett bit That's all inside my fiance. Beyonce. Hey, speaking of playboy I don't know if we talked about this a fan of the show a twos gay knows we uh our

I don't know like tits or something. He dropped some playboys off at the cellar And there was one for each of us. I guess but liz was like take both of them give it to mark when you see him But they both have significance to us One is from like 2012. It's got an interview with louis So he thought we'd be interested in that and the other one i'm going to show this on the video I apologize to people that aren't getting to you till next week. Can I guess? Yes Is it is it seinfeld in a phone booth? It's not seinfeld in a phone. He's on the cover of a playboy in the 90s Oh, all right. Well, does this ring a bell to you this one? Do you recognize this playboy with l mcperson?

I recognize the cover. I don't know. I didn't open it. I just finished on the cover This is the one where george is hiding in his desk and they have the bomb and it goes nothing here But some male curiosity and empty empty calories. That's the magazine Now I don't know if he knew that or not, but as soon as I saw it I was like that's the castanza playboy That we lost mark No, it was a fake freeze. Holy hell. The blanket took me out of it. Sorry, but If he knew that if he put that that kid deserves the tuesday bj award of the year I mean, I'm gonna blow that kid and since an addy on a on an amp track. That is unbelievable

But you might have just given him the The credit and he didn't think of that. Well, I'm assuming because he has every play. It seems like he's a he's a weirdo He's got every playboy. I mean, this is from may of 94 So he's got every playboy since at least the mid 90s and he gave us one with louis and the other one immediately I recognize as a seinfeld playboy. So I think he knows but I gotta tell you I never had access to playboy This thing is magical. There's genuinely good articles in here I'm looking at some hot fat tits and then you can buy like a bald eagle plate if you send away for it

Pretty good Yeah, playboy was the was lunch man. That was the bee's knees my friend growing up Jean He was belgian I was hanging out with a lot of french cunts when I was a kid and His dad was a doctor and he had a stack of playboys. He would fall asleep with a cigarette in his mouth He had a glass of wine all day long the most french guy on the planet He had holes in his bedsheets from all the cigarette burns

But he would go up for a carton of milk and a bottle of gin and we would just ransack It was literally a stack against the wall like that and It was heaven on earth. It was so fun. It was magical seeing the hi-fi stereo and the guy in the Smoking a pipe, you know and a guy on a lane on a fucking Porsche And and the women too, of course the bush women, but man That really was a highlight of my childhood It's it's a beautiful thing. I mean, I don't know if I can put it on camera because youtube or whatever So I won't do that, but I'm looking at some nudity here. By the way, I just put my finger in like a stainy

Section so I think this guy might have beat off on this page No doubt about it But I'm all right with that and the other day, you know, my wife was downstairs doing her only fans shit And I beat off to a magazine porn. I mean, I haven't jerked off to a magazine since I was at cupscode Yeah, yeah, same here. It's been a while and uh, I had a million paper cuts back then and a lot of dog ears going Man, those were the days and then you always find that one you like the best the one that really hits you and hits right in your g-spot and uh, boy, those were some Some good times and then of course I got ramped up and would go to the uh

The corner deli in my neighborhood and get like the The penthouse and then it was the snuff and then it was the gentleman's and the we oh you I it got real real nitty gritty After a while. Well, see I have to say and you know me. I'm not a huge porn guy I think I like the still photo better because if you look at a not that the still the The playboy I mean better than the full nasty porn because if you see a photo of like a dick and a pussy You want to see the fucking but right? It's like a woman just You know doing a little pose and I smoothed an airbrush tit because you can't airbrush on video

I don't think I don't maybe you can well. That's what always the lady would would say on the tv show They're like, why would you do playboy barbara walter? Why would you do playboy? She's like it's tasteful I look like a fucking angel. I look beautiful. Look at me. I look beautiful. Sure. My tits are out But you're saying my body is not to be shown. It looks great. You're wrong Yeah, tits should be out there. I'm out there jerry and I'm loving every minute So thank you to the uh the creepy gay that dropped off the boys Yes, I'm lying. Maybe we'll take turns with them after six months I'll give these to you and you can throw a few nuts in them. Please please. I'll take sloppy pages. I don't care

Uh big fan big fan tits are like land's bass Come out come out and play Let them out. I'm a big fan. I love a tit. I just love them. I love a cleavage a bra a tit It's just such a great situation. I like having a dangle and sucking on it. I like Really Of it the good nip. I love a perky nip in a sweater. It's It's all gravy. It's all fun and uh a lot of natural with the pb Mm-hmm. A lot of they kept it more natural more. It's all beauty based. That's why

Heff got a lot of shit But first of all, he was like a civil rights cum guzzler You know, you like let black people in his club before anyone else. So that's cool and then You know, he's putting women on who wanted to be on like Women to back in the day playboy was like, uh, it was like a milestone in your career. Like I made it. I did it Right, yeah, then he died and everybody shit on him. Yeah, of course. That's what you do nowadays. You shit on people. That's That's the society, but I was watching last night on tcm turner classic movies

They had a Maryland Monroe double feature and I watched both like a little gay school kid. I really loved it She's fun. She's got some chops. She's funny and uh cute as pie and Huge cans huge whatever happened to her. She was good Yeah, she could act she could she could uh, she had charisma She could take a pain pill too What do you think of this? I think she killed herself. They said I I didn't realize that until I read it last night But that's what I heard sleeping pills. I believe. Yes. Is that what a barbituate is barbit? Yeah, I think it's a painkiller a barbituit

Sounds like something a Jew does uh when you turn become a man What do you think of this? I was reading all about her last night and someone said she is probably the most Photographed person of the 20th century, but I gotta go with Michael Jordan on that one. Wouldn't you say? Probably mj just because the sheer fact of all those games and he got photographed at every game multiple multiple times plus magazine plus Red carpet. So yeah, you're probably right. That's exact. That's an exact quote from what I said It's exactly what I said. I'm like every game there's 500 pictures of them plus the fuck everything you just said I said the same thing. I mean, he's a model too. He's doing all these things. She'll be saying Paul McCartney possibly

That's not bad. He with every concert and he's still alive. So he's still going Right, well 20th century is over. Unfortunately. No one told oh us but but The thing with mccartney though, I think mccartney that would disappear for years where Jordan once he's in there I mean way more games than there are tour dates You know, he's playing 82 games plus the playoffs plus the NBA finals But mccartney is a good one. I don't know who else who else would be in there. Maybe uh, I was gonna say Michael Jackson, but he's he's already dead

So that I wouldn't even count him because mj can still keep oh you said 20th century never mind Michael Jackson would be up there Madonna, but Michael Jackson had a lot of no cameras around here Parts of his life, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Good point. Good point. It's coming on children. So yeah That's either way Anyways, what uh, what the fuck's going on over there? What are you what are you up to who you're fucking who you're blowing? Who's fucking you? Oh, man, I'm all over the road. Uh, this is my 12th pod today I got to run outside and do pull-ups on the scaffolding like a psycho just uh, just to get the blood pumping because It's freezing outside

Uh, I zoom all day. So it I gotta force myself to go out and Hit the streets I know that it's it's it's all zoom all day I'm this is my fourth hour of zooms and one of my cuts short. I was like, I gotta do this another day I'm sorry. I'm I'm gay and and then you go outside now. It's it's it's nippy and it's a strange days I know and then then I just say yes because I look at my I have a douchey little calendar on my phone And some guy goes how you feel about two o'clock on monday. I go All right. Well, I'm doing Tuesdays at four so I can do a two o'clock

And then before he was like, all right, you're ready to go and I just said I can't do it I need a minute before I don't want to just go from this one of that one I need a minute and I just pulled out and it was glorious. I had the exact same thing same exact thing I was like, you know what? I'll do it another day. I'm sorry. I got this other thing and this show takes Energy. I mean, I just sit here with my pants around my ankles. We got to be hot and fast and left and loose Yeah, this is a mental only fans where it's where we're bringing the dicks and pussies In our brain. We got to have thinking about stuff. We're not just showing our clits and clams to everybody. It's not that easy And I got to say this is the main dish. You know what I mean? I'm doing a lot of appetizers

But this is the chicken parm. I hope you I hope you're saving the the the entree for us I mean this show that's that's brujuto or bruschetta. Whatever the fucking brew Tom Bernanke, yeah, cartugary. I've never known how to say that mozzarella sticks, whatever it is. By the way, speaking of Italian food, if you guys if you live near Queens, maybe you should come out We'll go on a date Bartolino's over here and uh Veter had the show there for a little bit. Gary Veter had a show got shut down because they had like Hip-hop night and they got a lot of noise complaints, but uh, that's for another that's for another day

Those Asians that's for that's for a queef discussion, but Sure It was a tad too noisy evidently, but uh, Bartolino's I had the food Sarah and I went on a date the other day, you know, and this food is tremendous. It's it's great It's quintessential new york. It's like real new yorkers in there. I don't know how they pulled it off But everyone in there is like, oh, they're like meatballs and ding-dongs in there and it was a good time All right. Well, hey, I'll give a little sneak preview to the gays out there Uh, we might be doing a studio things in the near future

Uh vaccine And all that permitted, but uh, we might be doing it. It's in queen So maybe we could we could Bartolino and then pot it up. I love that idea even even in january I just gotta get through the holidays. I gotta go see 48 people in two weeks. We're bad people. So yep Whatever, but but we had a nice day, but we had the classic thing I guess Nate did a joke about this in the tonight show, but This they seed a big fat queen's ding-dong next to us. He's one of these like, oh, you know Like he's like a cartoon

And the guy I think he just probably had reflux from eating italian four times a day for 40 years But he's like hacking up a lung. Oh, and he's silent re he's sitting right next to us. He's And I'm like, I'm sorry, dude. You gotta beat it. Come on. You can't be coughing Well, that that's uh, you're gonna put me in a coffin because that's that's bad news bears in o19 But then you add a pandemic to this shit and we're at another we're at another level Yeah, get out of here. You fucking meatball sandwich I'ma come guzzling nazi. I get it, but I still don't understand the allowance not allowance, but the uh The the no emphasis on the um, how do I put this gently the fat folk?

Yeah, the fat folks. They're a problem. I don't get I mean You can't say Gook because it hurts the guy's feelings, but this guy's killing himself and then we got a fucking Epidemic going on or uh, whatever you want to call it a virus If I feel like if he loses weight I think he could live He might be able to live. I mean, who knows but this guy was uh, he was a big fat fatty and he was coughing all over my tits, but uh Whatever, I don't know that was a couple days ago. I seem to be all right

It was a hell of a meal a nice dish and it gave us something to uh Dish about afterwards, but hey, you're sitting at a table. So, you know, you can't contract it at a table. We all know that all right Here's the thing I read that if a person Yeah, let me get this right outside at least this is outside if the person is too far away to blow out a candle That you're holding and you're holding a candle then you can't get it I like it. I like it. So, you know Candle in the wind. I don't know. Yeah. Well can do. I mean, we should just go walk around with candles now

And if anybody blows it out you get to kill them Yeah, stick it in their ass and I've always said I mean the birthday party with the kids there that jizz it all over the cake They're queefing on it. They're farting on it. There's 13 candles there I mean this kid's got every bacteria in his body blowing out this Ninja turtles cake 13 candles. That's the prequel to uh, the john hughes film breakfast club

That was the that was the barbiturate episode uh So what what's going on over there? You've been traveling if you slipped and fall. What's going on? It's tough these days because i'm trying to be a good boy. Um, um, you know staying inside as much as I can besides Eating at italian restaurants next to fat guys Well, I don't have a ton over here. Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, where are you standing on the carbs? So I get I'm all I'm hearing is don't eat carbs now Oh carbs. I'm fat. I mean, I'm a fat person right now. I've been getting the cinnamon roll every day

I've been having chicken parm and I mean, I I'm a I'm a fat boy. Plus I went home for Thanksgiving. My family, you know, my family It's all mcdonalds and captain and coke. So I look like uh, you know Someone that's fat. I mean you You're chris christy over there, but it's your your house is great because it's it's a child's dream You got a pool table A backyard with the the the glory hole. What's that thing called the cornhole?

And then you got a fridge full of beer There's cookies on the counter. You just had a paper plate of chocolate cookies sitting there in perpetuity And then it's soda and then uh, your mom's got what is it blacks on blondes or whatever that that gay porn is And then your bedroom was nothing but Springsteen letterman posters as a shirtless pic of larry david and a bunch of uh, you know, steve nash photos And a stack of vhs tapes of a carlin special with louis anderson That's a dream Blacks on blondes. How'd you remember?

What was it called nipples and tits? I can't remember the the gay guys The something down under it was hard hunks. That's it hard hunks Better than soft cheese That we can't put this on instagram because they're all they're gonna be all over it Fucking betty's gonna be calling me going. Hey, what is this? I lent her that tape. You shouldn't be talking about Oh, well, we'll keep this one off the gram. We'll keep it on the tubes Her tubes are tied But yeah, that's on blondes

But your house is just it's a teenage boy's Dream it's like it's like michael jackson's house Yeah, it's it's a good time But it's tough because the thing is they don't give a fuck about whatever you're trying to accomplish Like I come home. I'm like, hey guys. I'm sober now. I'm in rehab. I'm getting my life together I shit in a girl's shoe. I got herpes on my face. I gotta take it easy and they're like All right, you do whatever you gotta do But we're gonna drink a handle of rum in your face and make you smell it

So and then reflux too. They're like, all right, give us nine chicken parms and a Caesar salad for this fucking homo So, I mean in a way it's kind of zen because they're living in the now And they're not worried about the diabetes around the corner and the the sun with the silent rea and the facial herp So I guess that's a uh, a buddhist mentality I think the buddhist see the body as a temple. So I'm not quite sure about buddhism. It's definitely uh, So they only let jews in anarchy or something like that. I don't know what it is, but they're having a good time over there Let's let's pretend

That's the thing about the living in the now though It has its setbacks Yeah, well, that's the thing. It's like you got to be Mentally present, but they just eat and drink whatever you want is is tough. I think You got to try to eat a salad and be like salad is Good. I'm nourished or something. I don't quite understand it. Yeah. Yeah, then they say uh, No desire Yes

Not desire That's tricky, but I have to say I had this chicken parm the other day which I suffer because I have the reflux still but That is the best food marinara sauce. I mean, I would fucking eat a bowl of cum with or without marinara But I would prefer marinara. I mean it's so good every bite I got a I got a chicken parm bite in my ass and I'm just holding it in there and swishing it like listerine It's amazing. It's so greasy and creamy and and salty and tomatoey Uh, yeah, there's nothing better and I want a marinara soup You know people always give you a big old plate of spaghetti and then they give you a

Little miscarriage of marinara. I'm like, what are you kidding? Give me eight ladles. You fat cunt Yeah, I'm the extra sauce king. I remember I went to mama santa's the first time with depolo and canner brought us there And you know depolo is a big grease ball and they come over and I go give me chicken parm extra marinara on the side And depolo is like, what are you fucking nuts? This is this is a real place. These are real italians. It's family owned you take it as it comes or whatever And uh, you could tell they were insulted because they brought like a vat of marinara on the side and they just covered The actual dish. It was just swimming in marinara like they're like you want extra marinara Here's your extra marinara you fucking douche

I had the same thing happen to me at a soul food place once when I was like 16 Uh, I'm a big gravy queef and I was like keep the gravy coming when you put too much grave When you think you put too much put more and it was some fat black lady with a mole right here and a mustache and uh, you know What do you call that thing when you leave the house the ankle bracelet? and She was like, uh, all right, and I got a big sloppy roast beef po boy and they put it in a bowl with Like the gravy around it like it was you know a soup and uh, I was like, all right tushé there, uh, clarence. You got me Um, what was it was something I wanted to throw out there at you and I want your opinion

Want to hear about oh first of all just a just a quick one I got an amazon package the other day because that's the world we're living in I try to avoid amazon because of the business and bezos or whatever bullshit But sometimes you got to do it. So I get a package And I'm uh, it is fun. I'm out and about I'm walking around or whatever I'm doing and it says package delivered But I knew sarah was gone. So I was like, hmm deliver. They must have rung one of the other people in the apartment I come back. It's not in the foyer And it's not by my door and I'm like, well, it's definitely not inside because sarah's not around

And so right away. I'm like they didn't deliver it. Who knows And sarah comes up. I said it says deliver, but it's not out there and sarah goes. Did you check the garbage? They they put her package where the garbage is we have a little area where you put the garbage And they put it like between two garbage cans weird which is insane So I go and check the garbage. I'm digging through trash. It's banana peels and you know wigs And it's not in there and I'm like, they fucked me. They didn't deliver it. I walked by we have a bush next to our apartment They jammed it in the bush I've been there

But yeah, wow crazy It's just in there like I could barely see it. I had to fish it out and and and pull it It's like a little book just all crammed in there. What do you feel about that? I hate it. But I see these kids out there with their like those What do you call those bell hop carts full of amazon Boxes and they're just tumbling over and these poor 14 year old runaways. They're just holding it all up You know this x con is like ah, and they're toppling over they go down one block. It's a nightmare. I mean we need more people delivering amazon that we need

Working at uh, you know the skating rink Let's just say we got to agree up on on employees. It feels like yes skating rinks dead Amazon's alive and well not the amazon that's getting destroyed from what I've read in a couple articles But who knows but true they jammed it in a bush, which I thought was kooky. But anyways, that's just That's just nothing whatever. I could have skipped that but what do you think of this? So every sunday. I've gotten into routine. I like routines I wake up. I go I get my bagel. I shove that in my ass. I drink a hot tea and uh You know that's my morning and then I chill out. I relax. I wake up sarah. I try to have sex

She says no then I get the car the centra I drive it down to a storia park. I run on the track because I got bad knees these days So when I soft track helps me Two weeks in a row There's this little latino Queef of a boy man He brings his ring light And he films himself

Making I assume ticktocks as a lot of this music is blasting Full board like bows speaker and it's that like And full and people are doing yoga in the park there's people playing rugby there's mixed martial arts people are running on the track Stretching it's a park a park jerry Brutal. I mean, I mean this is turning into boomers with stories, but uh, I'm with you 100% there fatty. That is cuckoo bananas These people doing their ticktocks. They think they're Federico Fellini all of a sudden, you know They got the setup and the lights and the music. We don't care. We know you're trying to get your eight followers

Uh In uh, you know jackson heights queens or whatever the hell, but who gives a shit There's other people around How about this by the way? I mean, I'm not I'm not a uh a film master over here I mean, I'm not uh fast bender. I'm trying to think of another european filmmaker. He's good How about this you put your air pods on you play the music in your pocket as loud as you want Then I'm gonna use a little show biz term You put the music in in post

Oh That way every tom dick harry glenn steven and rudolf don't have to hear your fucking dog shit ecstasy Dance music blasting all over the fucking park that we all share the irony is the music is called house Go do it in one get out of the uh the outdoors the great outdoors are now the mediocre because of old uh rico suavez ricky martin Pre-pubescent latina boy Bring it on home dickless. What is that? I'm with you a hundred percent, but these kids don't know anything about the post I know post Malone, but it's all they don't know anything about the post production because it's just boom i'm in

Case closed. Where's my followers? Where's my advertisers? Where's my sponsorship? Well, this guy sucks. I want to take his ring light and smash it to pieces. I just want to like beat him to death I want to I want to go up and just fucking Kick them and and and stop them to death I'm with you and then Then they give you if you go. Hey, man. Could you turn that down? They get mad at you and it's that's I people always say what superpower would you want and I always lie and say flight or invisibility or uh, you know

Judaism whatever it is, but the true one is seek super strength because I could pick a fight with anybody and win Yeah, that's true. You could really fucking toss them Like you want to do that thing you do with kids when you grab them by the wrist and spin them But then you let go and he goes flying into the river and drowns Oh, you could just do the thing when you hit the top of the head and they go into the dirt Yeah, a boink A boink you boink. Yes All right, speaking of boinks tuesday's the stories is brought to you by hawthorne

Hello Well, you love the hawthorne. You got a big Box of creams and ointments and towelettes Tell them about the box and I'll tell them about the back pit back in I mean, I love hawthorne. I go to a lot of uh Group setting zooms. Let's just say and I'm getting I'm getting compliments All day long people are going. What are you doing with your skin? I mean, look at this skin. Look at that forehead You're glowing. I mean, that's a lot of forehead. I mean, I've gone through two

Tubes already because my forehead is the size of uh, you know Rhode Island, but it's a small estate Hawthorne, but it's a big forehead Hawthorne they sent me all kinds of stuff. I got this soap with little chunks of wood or something. It smells delightful It's fantastic. I got a moisturizer a face wash a body wash And this is where hawthorne is so good. They got their hooks in me. I am a subscriber now I'm getting all the stuff regularly because you can get it where they send it to you every six weeks I'm 100 on board. They sent it to us for free. Normally we get free stuff

We we read whatever they tell us to say this stuff. I'm hooked on hawthorne. This is first class stuff I I'm doing it tonight. I swear to god. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life I've never heard you talk so highly of anything before including your wife Uh, do what joe did take the hawthorne Quiz today and get started on your personalized self-care routine by going to hawthorne.co And use promo code Tuesdays to get 10 off your first purchase. That's h a w th o r n e dot c o promo code Tuesdays Hawthorne.co promo code Tuesdays get on it kids

And Tuesdays with stories is also brought to you by bluetooth. If you're using your hawthorne A lot of people are going to want to have sex with you and uh, you're going to need the first chewable dick pill That's right folks bluetooth has the same fda approved active ingredients as viagra and sea alice and you know A lot of people you're with your partner. You're in quarantine. You're there for months nine months. So looking at the same mug And you know our dames, they're all in sweatpants and flip-flops and they're not putting their makeup on it's a sad Gross site So your dick is probably heading south for the winter But yeah, i'm i'm getting on sarah's only fans at this point

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I'll think of it later because that's gonna take up dead air All right, I got a I got a couple of nuggets to throw out here if that man Yeah, throw them at me because i'm over here talking about a package in my bush. I don't even know where I am over here I need I love hearing about your packages. So that's fascinating I'm telling you I'm getting fast and loose with the with the with the amazon because this eight zillion of them You know, it's interesting. This is like, I don't know if this is a bit. It's probably stupid. I'm gay I might kill myself either way even if this goes well. I might but this is kind of like

showing Help me out with this thought process. All right Now this is like amazon is like a literal santa clause like what we used to think of as santa You'd be like there's no way you could deliver this many packages in a night How can santa be real and now amazon is trying to do it with a bunch of people making nine cents an hour Has this been done or is this something I had the same thought I tweeted about it Everybody called me a hack but basically bezos is is santa, you know, and he's up there in the gay pole And uh getting railed or whatever he's doing but all the amazon workers are are the elves

And they got the fact they got the warehouse and they got it like all the boxes in there and Yeah, it's just it's exactly the same except it's just all day every day instead of one night Right. All right. So the fact that You've done it makes me feel better. So we had a similar thought But the better you're gonna hack I'm hacking a hack. So that's not good. Well, apparently 19 other uh Mumble rappers have talked about this already But my joke was leaving the cookies out for the delivery guys because they're doing the delivering That's not bad. Nobody liked it

Ah, well, what can you what can you do twitter's gotten tougher? I used to put out a half a quiff and two embryos of a Placenta and I would get 80 retweets now. I'm getting two likes and a Fucking hubcap. Well, twitter is just the worst thing on earth. I've been trying to quit I read how to break up with your phone and it's going okay. Hey, is this funny I read this I read this book called how to break up with your phone here it is It's by Catherine price. I'm gonna interview her on a mindful metal jacket. Oh, wow

Look at you. You're an intellectual. She's a tough get but anyways, it's a great book. I recommend it, but um I'm just bouncing horrible bits on the show now, but I'd like to hear it She says uh one trick is you make your screen your background You write a waste of time on a piece of paper take a photo of it So when you go to look at your phone, it says waste of time and I'm like that's good for breaking up with your phone But you can't really do that with a human. You can't be like honey. Can you put on this shirt? That's funny. That's big. Can you wear this waste of time shirt? I love it. Put that on a kid Honey, I got you a stinky pussy hoodie. Could you mind wearing it throughout the winter?

I don't know those will sell Okay, get on the merch the tuesday's merch stinky pussy hoodie. That's big. That's a punk band too or an IPA Thank you pussy hoodie eight percent alcohol Um, all right. Maybe that's a bit who knows but I think it's gold. I love it. That's killer. I tell you that's good Judy gold. All right. Give me the nuggets stick these niggas in my ass and see if I come I got two nuggets one's a mcdonald and one's uh Uh long john silver

So I'll give you the long john silver first just to get you ready because this is a more This is a little bit of an appetizer for the big nugget Denver nugget so I get a gig i'm These gigs now with the covet and all that and the the zooming and they they want you to promote so much I hate the promoting because

Hey Like all right It's kind of an insult first of all you get that email like hey tickets aren't moving You want to promote the hell out of this and you're like I do sure but I also have 19 other shows I'm doing that also want me to promote so now my whole feed see they I got a decent amount of followers So they just assume everything I do will sell out but I've done every corner of connecticut in jersey. Nobody cares anymore. I've done long island. I'm up in the westchester I'm I'm over here wherever you got. I'll I'll be there. I'm in

Fucking epstein's island whatever it is and these people are sick of me. I've been everywhere So no one's coming out anymore and it's freezing I know and and think about we've had this feeling we talk about it all the time for years Because you know for many years we had 11 fans It was like Frankie and uh, you know stacey and that other weirdo, but sure You know Mindy and uh, yeah, helen uh, troi or whatever and You'd go I can't believe I got to do these jokes for fill again. I haven't written any bits since last night But now

You're selling tickets. You got 300 people there that were like we were here last night and you're like you got to be Fucking me brutal. They don't I Oh, well, we just opened a big bag of hammers and now now I'm chapped up the uh, labia, but First off can I just give a shout out to the fans? Thank you for coming out But stop yelling comedy after every punchline comedy. I get it. It's flattering. It's cute I do it, but you're throwing my my rhythm off here. I'm trying to have sex and you're putting a pinky up my ass It's it's it's oh It gives you like a ha what what are we doing and I get it because it's it's supportive, but it's a little jarring

Right I hear you had to say it had to get it out It's a one of those tricky things because they mean well, but they're too excited I get it with herpes people just go you got herpes and I don't even know if they're fans I think it's just a guy that can tell Yeah Well, all right either way so I get this gig in jersey two shows one night socially distant

Jersey city whatever you want to call it This guy hits me up with a car. I I don't have a car. I mean I do but it's in a the smithsonian right now I can't pull it out. Yeah, it's too old So this kid hits me up. We did you know him? I know him nice guy with a car You know funny enough whatever and he goes I see you're doing this gig I'm looking for stage time if you

If you I'll drive you if you let me do some time And I go what's some time and he goes how about 20 minutes? And I go, ah, that's a chunk That's a that's a hefty chunk because you got to realize half these gigs They put 19 locals on in front of you and then they each do 28 and they all go over the light Then the host goes over the light and then you go on because it's the first time they've had a full crowd in a minute So I go to this guy. I go First of all, I can take the path there

So you're not really helping me. This is more for you than me and he's like, all right. How about 10 and I go, all right I'll give you 10. So then I call the club and I go Hey, could you not put 19 guys opening? I got a guy and they're like, sure no problem so Great, I got a ride. I don't have to worry about the path. That's all taken care of an hour before we're supposed to leave Hey, man, you know what? I think I'm gonna take the night off What? Can you believe that?

What is the axel rose? You gotta come out. You're on the show Well, he he had a prior thing a richard prior and something came up and he was I think he got a better gig In town possibly or an easier gig or a non-driving gig and I was out I was doing him the favor Well, I guess to be fair you said I could take the path So maybe he thought hey, he said he could take the path. I love take the path That's that's the only thing I can think because otherwise this is insane insane

Back in my day, I assume this is a young whippersnapper who's been doing comedy for six months Back in my day, I mean the the idea the prospect of like canceling on depolo He would a fucking shot. I would never work to get in the business. Well, that's different because that's Way different levels. This me and this guy are technically kind of same level So it was like a friend thing almost. Oh, okay. That was picturing a newbie But don't get me wrong All right, little jizz. He was Doing me a favor like when he said I don't want to go

I'm half like, uh, you're killing me because I made all these arrangements and I dropped off on the path But also great now you don't have to do the time and I don't have to chat with you the whole time Sure So I've run to the path. I got a huge duffle bag full of shirts because I'm trying to get trying to get rid of these shirts I ordered eight boxes of merch before the fucking pandemic trying to unload them like kramer with the bottles You know And uh, so I run to the path get on the path jump the turnstiles like you do Get on the thing then it's one of those. Okay. Now i'm off the path. Okay. Take an uber here. You're like

So then you get on the uber you get there Pretty rough gig kind of struggle. It's so socially distant and everyone is on couches Literally one couch is a mile away from me. I'm just like are they even here? They're all on their phone They're not in they're not enjoying the show, but it was fine Second show rolls around I'm getting heckled. I'm getting stuff thrown at me. I'm getting the no, that's not true. No Yeah, the drunk lady hammered and at one point I make a jug of there's a lot of honkies in here tonight She goes no, no, I'm I'm native american. I was like

damn And one guy just had to I shut him down because he was I was like you are a piece of garbage like I didn't want to shit on her. I guess because it's a lady But I was just shitting on her boyfriend because he was doing it too and I was like you're a bad guy and your wife Sucks And you guys deserve each other because you're both shitty people and you don't even realize it and I hit a nerve I think because she kept going and he stopped and he started going to her

felt pretty good Yeah, that's I mean Hopefully they're broken up now or it's a you know double murder suicide whatever, but These people with the no, I just can't hate it. No, I got a I got a no Comment on an instagram one time. It just says no and you're like, well, what does that mean? Fuck you. I hate this thing. Just say I don't like this person or I don't like this thing I don't keep this joke. We talk about it all the time, but It's a lost art to just be like, ah, I didn't enjoy that

Yeah, completely and Comedy or not stand up or not It's weird to have a human being standing in front of you in a horrible situation where he's completely vulnerable and just ruin his Attempt at an art form or an attempt at his job That you showed up to and paid money to go. It's just I'm still a human and you're just like no wrong ruin it. Stop you. You're an idiot. I'm like What am I am I the guy dresses Elmo at Times Square where you can shoot us not rocking at me? Like I'm standing four feet away from you

And I'm talking to a microphone and I haven't even said anything bad yet I can see if I made fun of your your mom who's dead personally, but I mean it's just such a weird Thing to talk to somebody that way just another human that you don't know and my intention is to entertain you I'm trying to be entertaining. I'm trying to bring you joy. Yeah, you showed up Imagine like a waiter bringing a guy the the chicken parm and you go you fucking suck. You're ugly and you guys like I'm bringing you the food. What do you want? This is what I'm supposed to do. You showed up Yeah, this is the food

there well So neither here nor there got paid got back on the path got home and you know one in the morning whatever but that's just Just one of those things and it was one of those things where I almost And I don't know if I couldn't remember if you had done this or if you almost did it But I was about 31 minutes in 28 minutes in and I said I'm I'm about to just drop the mic and walk off But I didn't do it I did 45 on the dot because that was my allotted time, but I was this close to just walking

Yeah, it's hard. I've done it once at a bar show, but or maybe a couple times at bar shows But it is that thing of like you're like nobody's Enjoying this you just feel like you want to be a professional and do the time, but you're like I hate it You hate me you guys think I suck So what is who are we doing this for it doesn't even make sense Exactly you want to you want to just tell the club? I'll pay for all the drinks that would have been sold take it right out of my check Yeah, give me fucking, you know, whatever less money. Yeah, that'd be nice So obviously didn't sell a shirt had to lug the thing back like like shitty Santa Claus and

Come on back home defeated and I but is there a weird thing with stand-up where No other artformers like that and that's kind of a cool aspect of it that it's that Kind of undergroundy that it can be that bad or is that stupid? I don't know. I mean, I guess It's so informal music to me is worse sometimes because you can get I mean like these bar shows sometimes with bands. I mean like literally nobody's listening It's an annoyance like they're just there to have drinks and go oh, yeah, there's these fucking idiots are here

and And I usually they're doing like covers. I guess so it makes it less hard because I don't know. I think there's other Forms of it. I guess you do in theater Shakespeare in the park. There must be people walking by Calling them gay for wearing leotards. Maybe but that's true. It's so Personal because it's just you and it's your thoughts. It's you Yeah, the product is you there's no other there's not a band. It's not a sound It's just like here's what I think and people are like fuck you

That's a good way to put it. That's yeah, that's maybe that's why it stings so bad But you're also like I could just stop but I just I don't know the uh the douche and me just can't Not do the job because I picture them being like, hey, you didn't do it all the way. We can't pay you I don't know Yeah, you want to be a professional and I'm sure you have to try to focus on there are people there that are enjoying it You know, there's got to be a couple people that die hard that are like, this is great I love it and they hate the the people you hate. That's true. That's true

And we I think a mistake comics make as we go All off audible laughter. That's our whole thing is just we say a joke. We're killing big laughs are coming at me But you know laughter look at us. We've been chuckling this whole time. We're not really gaffawing all over the place So I did see a two a couple in the back a lady and a guy who were who were just going like Like, you know, like an Asian lady in uh 1948 Mao dictatorship, you know, she couldn't let it out But she was giggling well exactly and it's it's oft talked about With comics the my friend Dave walsh who's one of the really

Brilliant people comedically that I've ever met and I remember him talking him and his brother chris is one of my Dearest friends they had a show for years in boston and the last show they ever did it was emotional was like this big Uh night and the send off because they were moving to la was a whole thing. That's a part of a bigger story But dave was addressing the crowd and he said the saddest hardest part of comedy being a comic is You never laugh anymore. Everything's so technically you go. That's really funny. This is funny And then he went on to say but my brother chris still makes me laugh every day and it was really beautiful and touching but

For the for the purpose of this conversation that part I so agree with is that we've been beaten It's like these fighters that just get kicked in the shins so many times that they don't feel they just have dead shins now Sure, that's what it we're like with humor. I watched snl this past week Which usually I think is a bag of turds no offense to all of our friends that work on it But I thought it was great. Justin Bateman. Is that his name jason bateman? Yeah, jason Justine is the sister. Yeah. Yes a smoke show. Oh, yeah Used to be he he's hilarious to me. I loved his monologue and there was this woman. I don't even know her name She did weekend update. She played like a millennial movie review type of person

And it was like amazing, but I was sitting there going this lady's great. This is really great. I never even laughed I'm just sitting there going. Wow. This is terrific Yeah, interesting. I'm joyless Yeah, I think a laughter because I'm similar where I don't really laugh out loud at time But when I do I was I did a legion of skanks last week and big j had me on the floor I was killing me and it felt so good because it's so rare Yeah, exactly. By the way, no, you're right. There was one sketch where they were I don't know if you watched any of it at all. It's probably online

But there was one sketch where they were playing a Justin jason bateman It's funny. I love the guy. I don't even know his fucking name He's good him and one of these other women on the show. They were playing a Santa Claus that had to be in a plastic Snow globe because of coven and they kept falling over and it was like classic physical humor. That one was making me laugh That's what I need now is somebody falling over to laugh Yeah, you got to go the other way where it's the most primitive basic form of Humor just like a cartoon that'll get you because we're just sitting there analyzing all day

So you need the the bottom of the barrel. I think I knew the chef guy He was like this five star michelin chef. You had the foam on the shit, you know, and then he would eat doritos And he's like, oh twinkies because he loved that just basic shit Yeah, you got to go back to the back to basics. I guess I had a great moment the other day I was talking to my my niece and my dad and my wife about the marks brothers and I was talking about how Chico marks is like my favorite piano player ever and I thought I was kidding And so I started playing some piano for them and then they were like and I think it was my dad was like

Who are these guys and I was like what I'm like, this is the marks brothers. So I pulled up the sanity clause scene And my dad's like on the floor. He's dying. I think he just his dad didn't wear his in the marks brothers He was joyless and my niece is 15. She's like that's funny and it sarah was like that was pretty good She's a tough nut to crack because she's a comic and she hates me. So she's cracking my dad I haven't heard him laugh like that since uh before I was doing comedy Sure, and it's the things from 1935 and it was so fun to just bring this uh Present this to if people haven't watched just just I mean just watch the whole movies But just watch marks brothers sanity clause. It's it's an amazing four minute sequence

It's brilliant. It's some of the best word play on the planet and it's so cool that Marco and chico and harpo are up in you know, hell down in hell and they're still killing I mean, that's how you know, it's such good stuff and these guys are just next level comedy savants still killing also quite a quite a metaphor that you're showing your dad This antique like old comedy that he should have showed you totally and uh Also, by the way, I mean you watch that one scene. You're like, this is Tuesdays with stories It's a may I mean it could be you and I doing the bit

I mean, it's just rapid fire puns and twists and turns. I mean we throw a little more come in there Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got some queefs and some quacks, but yeah, I mean it's next level They had to be clean back there No, they got their ass hole filled with spears or whatever it was. But yeah, it's it's pretty genius. I mean groucho's joke uh We went back to take we went to take photos of the the native Bush women But they were the 14 year old bush women, but they were too young

Wait, oh, what is it? Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez. This is not a good sell We went to Africa and we took photos of the 14 year old bush women. We had to go back, but they're not developed yet Some photos I'm butchering it, but it's the the the development is the uh The connection there. Well, we lost everybody. They're like, you guys suck now I showed an elephant in my pajamas the other morning. How we got them by pajamas. I'll never know What was the one that we were just talking about there was something I was gonna say It was a story about something. Oh, do you remember this idea? I think I probably told you when we were both high and on drugs and eating things

Sure Yes, I had this idea maybe we should shoot it now Maybe I should have you be the guy because you got black curly hair But I had this idea 50 years ago about a character dildo marks Who is the sixth marks brother or the fifth marks brother? But he was too dirty to get into the act. I love it already And it's just you know, he's a marks brother. He looks it's 1930s. We put the black and white on there and he's going Outside of a book. It's too dark to read inside of a dog. You come that's where you put you come

You're a fucking dirty dog. Whatever it is, right? We read some some puns that have jib basically do tuesdays with stories And it's dildo marks. We make it black and white. We got a big trench coat. We go all out. I love it Yeah, it could be funny and he's it's like I I pictured it like a true hollywood story of like how come you're not in any of the Movies he's like those fucking fags wouldn't have me in there. I kept saying Yeah, yeah, it's bleeping and oh that's killer. I love that. How we got to shoot that it could be something dildo marks That's gold. I mean Shobo looks kind of marks brothery. I could see that All right, maybe we'll get him involved. I don't know. He's got no instincts, but yeah, we'll shoot it. We'll knock it out

It'll be fun. Just get Shobo But yeah, I don't think he thinks we're funny. So that's gonna be tough to yeah Yeah, it's funny how if you just take a little bit of a marks brother take a little bit of Seinfeld and Larry David Then you take a little bit of uh, I don't know woody woodpecker and just a touch of gay porn You got our pod You got a program. I would say more than a little touch of Seinfeld, but everything else I agree It was a lot of Because stanzas in there and a couple kramers

Sure, uh, Elaine stinks. How about when donnelly says Elaine's the best character get out of here donnelly shut up Stop being pc with the boys. He's trying to sound cool. Exactly Oh, I got a whole thing about getting a rapid test, but we'll save it And uh, I'll get into it pretty rapidly on next week, but that was a fun app We pulled a lot of shit out of nothing Good tease and by the way, I mean you gotta get on the patreon if you're a tuesday We did a live show for the patrons. We took questions and this is a special one I mean that was a special episode hour long hour 10

And we really had some fun. We went deep on there It was touching it was like our our little holiday christmas episode where we got down by the fire with some egg nog And then blew the dog. I mean it was really touching I was touched and uh, I mean I was I was teary-eyed. I had to I'm working on a letter I might send you might burn it. I don't know. I mean it was really special. I don't want it. I don't want the letter Send me a Funny funny video or something. I don't want the letter. What are you kidding? I'll send you an animated jiff

Give me a jiff of uh of a kid, you know falling down a of uh elevator shaft or something I don't want I don't want a letter with a quill and then you kiss the thing and you put the spray the love potion on it Well, kissing potion Cheesy mom's choose jiff Get on the patreon. I mean it's a great episode There's a ton of stuff and they were doing a bonus a week for the last nine months and there's guests soders on there tim dillon who cares and Yeah, go check that out and today at 3 p.m

My connor's ultimate movies, which no one seems to care about his episode two is out today. I'm talking about the godfather It's real silly. It's fun. I think it's funny. I don't know All right, you're putting a lot of time into those. I mean I'm impressed with the production Well, I mean it was one day. We spent like 10 hours down. I mean hershawn when I get the bill for this thing I'm gonna have to ask you for money. I've got to sell the censure, but Yeah, he ain't cheap. He's working on it. He's editing and uh I haven't gotten the bill yet. It's not gonna be worth it. But go check it out subscribe to my youtube and uh, I don't know what else is going on. I'm in yo check out check out t public

We got a thousand the coolest shirts in the in the land up there These are some hip threads of these you gaze are very creative. You're you're doing some killer logos and and graphics so Te public check out the shirts get on the patreon a lot of weird random queves live shows You name it and your special is nipping at the heels of two mil Yeah, we're getting there I think I haven't looked at it because the comments hurt my feelings, but it's around two million issues So go watch it share it. Uh, you know sonny and share it. Oh, who knows there you go

share and and uh You will despair no Compare and despair there it is. Yeah All right. Well, hey good stuff Uh, I think we're at the beginning of the end of the the covid. I'm just throwing that out there What do you mean beginning of the end? I'm just saying And We got that vaccine up my ass. It's fizer. It's uh, you know, it's 2021 coming up. It's christmas time

I think something's about to happen. I hope so but fucking 58 of the country says i'm not gonna touch the vaccine So let them rot rot in hell. I say you guys go out to your your your super bowl party and live it up I don't know what's happening, but hopefully we'll be all right Take care out there be safe and uh, you know use your best judgment and get on the patreon and be kind and please rewind Here here. Praise our luck. Weave it up. We'll see you now Georgia's saying cut it Hey Folks, I forgot real quick to plug some dates. So it's such a fun app. I lost track, uh

This weekend i'm in austin texas at the brass tap I think i'll be uh popping down real quick for a couple uh secret shows in austin brass tap Give it a goog then nashville zany's hot club hot town honky tonk And then i'm doing the wall street theater on december 20th Check that out. It's on my website. That'll be a phone. It's also streaming so you can see it from anywhere so buy a ticket to the stream and uh

Tampa in On new year's tampa side splitters in orlando the night before give it a goog. Thank you