Tuesdays with Stories! - #386 Hefty Tube

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

It's an ep with twists and turns as Joe argues with a menu guy before doing a live streamed show from the Village Underground for a huge guest while Mark has a mysterious open in Den Moines before getting a gift that shocks them both. Check it out! Check out our new merch here! Shirts, stickers, phone cases, mugs, you name it! https://www.teepublic.com/user/tuesday-s-with-stories Sponsored by: Native Deodorant (nativedeo.com/stories or use promo code: stories) & Raycon (buyraycon.com/tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy my radio is spitting at me hey everybody welcome to Tuesdays with stories I'm keeper Sutherland and that's clear boy yeah Neymoy one of the few Jews in space is he a Jew what are you getting look at his

ears I thought he was a what are they called Mohawks what are they called Vulcan yeah Vulcans I think that was all some anti-semitism back in the 60s like all right we got to make this fucking he look look look a little different than the rest of us he's a Vulcan the craziest thing about Leonard Neymoy I this blows my my tits right out of the room he directed three men and a baby he did he's the director three men and a baby he was behind the camera saying hey live long and prosper Gutenberg I mean it's wild wow well he must have done a Vulcan neck pinch on the on the quality because that movie stinks I don't know I

kind of like it I've probably told the story a hundred times and you heard it yada yada but the hardest one of the hardest I've laughed in since 1975 was Dan Bulger our friend funny guy big cook we were living together and he's a young guy he's you know eight years younger than me or whatever so I was like yeah we should do a spoof of three men and a baby and he's like what's three men and a baby and I'm like it's this movie and we're high we're like on drugs we're drinking and he's like what's it about and I'm like it's about three million years they live in an apartment they someone leaves them a baby they thought

it was cocaine but it's a baby so they keep it there's a ghost in the window Colin Quinn's in it and Leonard Neyboy directed it and he was just on the floor like what wow this is a quite a bag of a big gumbo of confusion why me when you put those things together you're like how did I miss this film yeah man by the way I mean not to go on a gay tangent but that just shows you how things can change and ebb and flow like at one point Colin Quinn is in this movie with Ted Danson the fucking biggest star sexiest sitcom guys Gutenberg police academy Tom Selleck Magnum P I and he probably thought it was the height of his

world height of his career and then now that's just a blip on the on the face of my asshole Gutenberg yeah I think who we were talking about that him and I actually were talking about this the other day because he's doing a I want to say too much but he's got a part in a show and he was saying you know in the old days when I started back in the 80s when you would get a part in a show people were like you did it man yeah you made it like this is this is it and now you're like I got to go and do I'm doing a scene and fucking you know I can't even think of a TV show what's the show enlightenment what's that show in

HBO or whatever high maintenance high maintenance you're like I got a piece on high maintenance I wouldn't even call you for that now you know I would just keep it a secret I wouldn't tell anybody yeah like curb okay that's a special place in our our taint but yeah high maintenance or even girls you're like oh cool you joke out on girls you hear about that like oh yeah well what are you gonna do I mean Soder is like a a co-star I've never seen an episode I feel bad every time I see him that shows not great I mean the guy's like one of my closest friends I fucked him in the ass his dad's dead but I've never seen the show ever I don't

even know that it's what's it called billions billions yeah yeah I feel cuz I heard he's great I love him I know he's the best I always great I mean he's a brilliantly talented guy but I'm not gonna watch a show no you would hate it so it's all drama it's all serious and weird lighting and oils you know you would hate it but he's got a big head and he's a hell of an actor his mom's a whore so I think you would hate it but I think he's really good on the show I've watched a couple clips a physical head we I feel like we should say because he's a very modest fellow oh yeah no no physically his head is enormous but

he's a humble humble cunt humble guy with a goofy head and we love you Dan I'm sure someone will tweet and say less said he fucked your dad or whatever but yeah and killed him hell of a hell of a special I might yes son of a Gary give it a whirl folks he's he's a great comic and a great great egg that's on HBO which in H HBO by the way I was just talking about this the other day and I think you agree HBO still the king yes comedy I'm talking entertainment Netflix is a joke I mean they got a couple things got a couple the documentaries are like the night stalker was amazing they got a few of those in there yeah I mean making a

murder is fine but none of them compared HBO HBO put something out I'm on it I'm watching it and from what I understand the dramas are the best the wire and the Sopranos but not the not for me but the docs the comedy specials the TV I mean it's just the best there's a new series coming out it came out you know the Sunday if you're listening to this comes out tonight in real time but real time another great show there you go there's a new doc series about a woman that invented a three-wheeled car and I watch it's like a 30 second teaser I'm like I'm in I know this is gonna be good I can't wait interesting well that's a

weird choice for a doc but hey I'm in too but yeah no they they they have the best work they have the most interesting stuff too like they take a risk and it usually pays off I'm blanking on it now but like they'll have a show where you like what the fuck is it like even high maintenance that's kind of weird but they bought it they like they could see the good in it and that's what I love about HBO is all though oh they'll do a Western you want to do Deadwood hey if it's good we'll put it on yeah so so God bless HBO and God bless Soder for getting on there and Netflix thanks for having me on there too check out my half hour on

Netflix oh yeah yeah you're on it yeah you forget about that doesn't it's weird I've only got about it yeah yeah but that's a great credit what a that's like your best credit probably I guess so I mean it's weird when people ask what do you want me to say I say Netflix tonight show Netflix because they can go home and watch it right exciting and then tonight show blah blah blah Johnny Carson Jack Parr my sister's ass well credits have become this weird thing and the in the comedy age is because tonight show sounds good it's almost like got some prestige like oh this guy's been on tonight show you know suit 30 rock New

York the whole thing but nobody sees it nobody ever watches it it doesn't help your career a blip and yet some YouTube viral you know a BJ under a bridge or go crazy or my thing with the news the anchor chick and the Cleveland skank you know that's going crazy but the tonight show sounds good but it's worthless it's just weird limbo we're in with with stand-up credits yes how low can you go but what was I gonna say it was gonna be something and the limbo thing came to my mind and it's not even great and I had bimbo on my tits for a second bimbo limbo Jimbo Kimbos Kimbo slice Kimbo Fisher Jimbo Fisher was a football

coach wait what was I gonna say tonight show I was talking about this the other day to a friend and a wife and a plant the manager comedy managers yeah must be shitting their pants and TV execs and shit they must be like want to kill themselves because everything's Instagram tick-tock twitch and yeah Lilo and stitch and I mean YouTube yeah yeah I mean I talked to Tim Dillon the other day he's fat and gay and he said he fired his manager and I said why he goes because they sent me a Disney audition like I'm gonna do Disney I'm a fucking psycho out here screaming into a microphone about and Ron you know he's not gonna do it

what's it gonna be a beaver and a Pixar come on well some of these folks are so naive to stuff they're like yeah they're like hey do you want to be the Geico guy and I'm like Geico I've said the homo 38 times in the last 10 minutes like they're gonna shoot us if they find us oh yeah that lizard would hate you that was like I remember when Gilbert Godfrey get fired what's this a flag oh a flag and then I was open for DePaulo and he's like my agent just sent me a voiceover edition to be a black he's like they fired Gilbert Godfrey you kidding me like we replaced Gilbert Godfrey was Nick DePaulo right right we've replaced Cosby

with Epstein exactly yeah yeah so kooky time I feel like we're in this weird Elliot Page transitional phase of show biz you know YouTube and tick-tock and parlor and clubhouse and grinder and porn hub and lobster tube it's all over the place and yeah you gotta you gotta figure out those choppy waters yourself I feel like I just heard about clubhouse for the first time Bob Kelly was telling me about it him and rich Voss were in there evidently clubhouse is black is that right I don't know I hear a lot of honkies on it but I don't know anything about it you what the hell is club how can you explain it so I'm gonna explain

it through them so I got dumb and dumb are telling me so this is this is through a filter but honey crisp and lisp was a stretch so I like it so they were telling me it's like a it's like a hang I guess it's kind of like what are we on right now zoom it's kind of like zoom but you have your own room so you go this is mark Norman's clubhouse and then people go can I come in and you go sure come in you sitting there you have a cigar you talk but I think it's it started as black or was predominantly black or we're taking it over like the n-word or whatever but it we're gentrifying the

club yes so I I think it's mostly or started off as black people kind of hanging out and having a good time and the whites are squeezing it that's the what I was presented it as interesting well from what I the the the the wind is blowing what I keep hearing is everything's going away eventually so enjoy it all get your check get your patreon get your dick pic but it's all going away here podcasting is going away and all this everybody everybody tries to scare you with a censorship thing what do you mean it's going away like it's I talked all these pocket they're like oh give it give it six months they're gonna have a what

do you call that thing where you like an algorithmic thing where you say homo anybody who said homo into a microphone they gotta they go they find it and they delete yeah all these people are a bit paranoid and I thought you meant like cuz Sarah keeps telling me Instagram's dead that's over you can't make it it's all on tiktok people are fleeing Instagram or whatever fuck but I don't know cuz all of us old assholes are still on it but those people are paranoid this is what happens and this is gonna be political so skip ahead everyone is a warning mildly political Donald Trump gets kicked off of you know

stature and Twitter yeah because he's like hey the election's fake it's fake it's fake which you know it's not he went to the Supreme Court all the all the evidence says it's fake it's fake hey you gotta go up there and fight like hell I'm right behind you if you don't fight and then a riot happens they kill a cop they break in and then so they go hey you can't be on here anymore which you know debate debate away yeah but that's not what fucking you and me you and I are doing right we're just going hey yeah gays are weird who blacks argument is it starts there and then it creeps towards us I guess I guess that's the

argument I could be proven to be wrong but I feel like we're gonna continue to have a podcast for a while hey let's hope so because we got a we got some great gays out there and I got a couple of heartwarming tales about a few twosies all right great I can't wait to Jim twosies and you know I can already hear the tweets being like your liberal cock piece of shit but well that's what I think yeah I hope you're right I don't like any kind of censorship I mean the the question is like who gets to decide you know I like I get the Twitter is some guy jacks thing and he's like well if I don't like it you're out that it's

my choice it's my company so I get that but when it's other stuff and I'm like they just start pulling stuff away I'm like well why is that get pulled away and they go because it's blah blah blah and you're like yeah well how come you get to pick that's where is me yeah exactly it's a slippery slope I mean I think if we started a riot we would be out but but also why we're talking politics just so I don't get all the liberal cuck things I think if it was a board of liberals we'd be the first two to go they would shoot us right in the tits no doubt well a couple of cisgender white honky dick fag douches yeah we're out of there

so no doubt about it but you know the old adage everything is hate speech to someone so somebody considers hate speech the other group thinks that's normal and then when you say about them they think it's hate speech interesting I like I like I like that theory I don't know how old that adage is how old is that it feels like a new adage I think it's about a year old okay that's that's a new that's a baby adage I guess you never hear about a new adage so I just threw old on there good point good point but yeah I think I think a lot of these people are pressing the panic button because you know Trump got thrown off a

Twitter but you know I think we'll be okay plus there's all kinds of crazy people on Twitter which a lot of people have brought up the fucking king of China and the Russia and whoever the fuck the Burmese twins so I think it's gonna be okay for a while yeah Bill Burmese but yeah alright I hope you're right either way we probably got a couple years left but this GameStop thing just shook the whole foundation by the way and this is my experience with it I was in a meeting and a thing and this guy was I was I was in clubhouse and there was this guy telling me about games of the day before the news and he was rambling on and on

about GameStop and get this and Robin Hood and the Prince of Thieves and I was like I don't the fuck you're talking about like I was getting annoyed because I was like I was like blah blah blah and then the next day was the number one story in the world I thought the guy was crazy yeah wow he was trying to report it's like those future movies where the guy goes I'll tell you this is gonna happen ever goes all right you psycho kook and like you could have saved the world I guess so but I mean I don't I'm not in the stocks I don't have an app but yeah it's a soprano so who knows same same I got me and Peter have

a couple grand and some stocks that he texted me once a week I don't answer and then I call them short and that's the end of that but I you know he's a little money Jew and I respect him and I think he knows his stuff so I just gave him my money and I wish he put it in the AMC or something but we're we're up so I'm not complaining now so did you get some dough from that cuz I still don't know I've had 12 different people send me six different analogies and the Declaration of Independence I have no idea what happened yeah I think I got a grasp on it basically a bunch of reddit nerds got together and said well if we

all like hundreds of them if we all buy stock in this one it'll go way up and then nobody'll see it coming and then we'll just sell it and make a ton of money right yes I think that's it this is the thing I don't have even like the smallest understanding of the stock market I am with you I know a decent amount about a lot of things I feel like I know some cars some good on movies sports forget about it I know a lot of sports music I'm pretty good comedy certainly a little bit of history some politics but the stock market it's just Greek to me it's more Greek than anal sex to me I don't know what the fuck it is

anal's the most cut and dry thing I mean you don't want to drive but that's the or cut but it's the most obvious a to b you know anal to balls but stock the numbers man you bring any kind of number into the party and I just I just glaze over I'm out I'm like Cosby I'm out I'm done I'm a Cosby fan I can't do anything with numbers I'm talking stocks or savings or accountants or banks or taxes I'm out yeah I can do a batting average I'm pretty good with batting average I can figure that out and and I feel for you because I'm like regular math dumb I'm like I can I can do arithmetic pretty quickly I

understand some math but I know you got the you got hit in the head or whatever happened you kicked by a mule you're a math retard so you must just shit your pants I'm a math tard I can't do it it hurt me throughout my whole childhood I mean unless it's got a zero behind it or a five I'm out you know somebody goes 13 plus 8 I'm like I can't match them because I'm all at 30 or 15 plus 5 alright I got to 20 but once you start throwing those odds in there I'm a I'm a goner yeah odds are not a good quality so I feel for you but I have the same thing I got a retirement thing an S&P or a Texas A&M some crazy shit and

world one nine I don't know before the spray I don't know I'm out we got a you know what's it called a fucking accountant and then he gave me this other guy Craig do you have Craig I don't know about Craig I got a Craig I talked to him once four years ago I send him multi thousands of dollars every year I've never spoken to guy I don't know where he lives yeah I don't know what the fuck is going on so hopefully something I don't know and if I look by the way sorry go ahead they could be on the Ivory Coast on a yacht you know it with with the what is it the Swedish money what's the neutral one Swiss Alps Swiss

Bank yes shit cheese yeah I mean yeah I've only given him like 8 grand so it can't it can't be much but if I followed it I might be a fucking walk around the mega hat if I looked at it I could have been like oh Jesus I had no idea I was missing the whole thing I know I know and look it's it's this is what I hate about the news now is that keep trying to spin this GameStop thing and it's some kind of because now that Trump's out and now that BLM doesn't exist for some reason you know it's just like oh this is a white supremac these are all in cells or this is a Trump based you're like no it isn't it's just a bunch of fucking nerds who

beat the system and just leaving it that stop trying to spin it you cunts oh see I missed that part because it's it's a story that makes me mad I get mad but I don't understand something you know what I mean when you're playing a card game it's always trying to teach you and you can't get out and you're losing you just throw the deck so I didn't even follow the story sometimes there's news stories that I'm like I can't wait for this to be over I can't wait for it to pass it's right I've never looked at Reddit I've never played the stocks I don't know anything you just wanted to bet I don't know I think this is this is a altering

event I think this is an inciting incident this is gonna change the course of stocks as we know it oh interesting I yeah I heard that we'll see I guess but this is my fear I don't want to get too off the deep end because we're gonna be doing the Tim Dillon show over here but doesn't it feel I don't have any faith I've heard that they're like this is a huge win for the the little guys and this is gonna change things but I just feel like the the big whatever is too big to even beat they'll just change the rules and squash the people down the way it's been throughout history I agree and they probably will but we're gonna we're

gonna watch it happen it's the same way with the pandemic how we saw all the politicians lying and going out to eat and flying over here and there even though they told you not to do that everything is kind of being exposed and this is just another crack and some light is coming through and even though they probably will squash it and find a way to ruin the little guy this is showing like oh there's some some chinks and I don't mean the the the Asian kind I'm talking about some chinks in the armor the armor what is a chink exactly is it's like a dent yeah dent or a nick okay I think or I don't know small Asian

person on the on the armor but either way it's it's it scares the shit out of these old honkeys you know they're in their suits going well this is a unbelievable and you're like no you just get mad cuz these fucking dweebs beat you right yeah I see I can't follow any of it but I don't know it feels like you know yeah the new boss same as the old boss it'll just be whatever but but who knows I don't know I'm not smart enough to read it same same but we better get into some shit here because we're a fucking third of the way through and I haven't even heard I don't even know where you are you got a weird curtain I

know a little bit about what's going on and I can't wait to hear more I can tell you're gonna be wherever you are for a while that is a that's a window of a hotel a Hilton garden in looking out in the Omaha suburbs if that helps you but that's a little dark but I just got off stage in two shows and yeah but so much to talk about we'll start from the beginning can I throw this one at you there fatty yeah sticking to my ass so this skateboard company hit me up there's like skateboard vlog and podcast and all that and they go hey we're we like your comedy we heard you used to skateboard I said hell yeah it was my whole life

before comedy and they said well can we do a interview with you and we'll go out into the park the skate park and film you doing skate tricks and I was like oh dude I'm 37 I'm a bag of bones I'm rusty I'm gay I can't do anything and they said well it'll be funny then I'll go yeah fucking it'll be funny so I go out and meet this kid 11 a.m. at the fucking skate park and he's village he's got a board for me he's got a guy with a video camera I started skating I ripped it up it was great we got it all on film now he had the board you said he brought his board yeah okay so do you have a do you have a deck at home or what's going on

with your skateboard situation I don't I have one at my parents house I guess I got a stack of them from you know the 80s that I used to rip it up on but no I don't have one out here because I I never really needed one I had one in New York and I broke it within like the first couple months that was like oh eight and I never bought a new one because I you know I don't ride now let me add to you have the fever are you back are you feeling it I mean I'm three days after my leg hurt I pulled a groin my pussy's bleeding I mean it was bad but I'll tell you it all click back in but I used up a lot of a lot of goodwill if you if you

will like I was hurting days I have super sore I didn't stretch I showed a couple of pipsqueaks up I'll tell you that but it hurt later I paid for it that's a good feeling I mean I think you should get back involved and go full bore you know you you're in showbiz so you got to be tip top but so get some elbow pads some knee pads a head pad and a maxi pad I say get out there you know what I mean don't worry about your image get some of the because I know the pads are uncool if I'm not very very uncool but that's the thing is it's a young man's anal because it's you slip backwards on a rail I mean you're you're

done for especially at my age I crack a vertebrae or chip a dick or whatever it is like it's over like back then you can just pop pop back up with a with a bum knee and walk it off but we're getting old so where where can the people find the video where can I find this video well it's it was actually from that video we made at in Washington Square Park where I did the kickflip oh yeah her shot yes that's where he saw me he's like oh I saw that kickflip and I said I'm gonna give you a call but it's it's not finished yet we shot it on Wednesday so I think they're gonna put it together but it was just a it was a rush to get

back out there and then strap it on again it was freezing cold and I took a few mean spills and got some high fives from the local kids it was fun good for you yeah my wife strapped one on the other day and and that was fun too and I'm sore as well but glad to hear it and just hearing about it makes me excited you know I met Tony Hawk did we ever talk about what back in the day met him I blew him he came to all the guys there was some guy named Steve who was good I've some reason I had like a crush on him he was sexy but they came or no now he was it was Steve something he had black hair he was cool well we talked

about my radical shirt that oh how did I forget this oh my god that radical shirt which everyone sent me on Instagram I appreciate it in Twitter I got autographed I had it autographed by all the skate clowns yeah they all came to bike barn in Whitman Massachusetts which was like this huge bikes we had like the bike shop but it was like a skate shop also it started as a bike shop but of course late 80s early 90s it was skateboard fucking craze so they had to throw a bunch of skateboards in there and I got into skateboards for six hours because that's what everyone was into that was like the thing so I had to go get a

skateboard I got the radical and then they came and did a show at bike barn there was like a half pipe and there was like a thousand people there maybe there was 500 or maybe there was 10,000 I have no idea I was a kid but we went and watched the show I was with Ron Reynolds we had a great time I think we were in the front row like up against the railing and then they all it was like a meet-and-greet afterwards we all met and they signed my shirt and Tony Hawk was one of them I don't remember the rest of them wow that's correct I wonder if it was Steve Barra maybe if you named guys they were probably there because

it was Tony Hawk and like whoever was on the tour well I wonder if it was the birdhouse tour now he was on that team but he had black hair maybe to hear kind of shaggy I don't really remember I mean this is 30 years ago now but for some reason I was like because you know when you're a kid or maybe this is just life but like I'm like I don't want to go for Tony Hawk everyone love Tony Hawk I'll pick out I like this guy yeah no reason it was just like that was the guy wasn't Tony Hawk well Tony Hawk to a lot of the real skaters he's like a Bob Hope or something where you're like oh yeah he's the famous one but I don't

know if he's the cool like you want to like Louie or Burr or Rock or somebody that that's your guy but that he's like the the face of skateboarding he's mainstream he's cute he's clean he's you know got kids and everything so he wasn't our favorite but he is the most famous right it's like Kelly Slater is like the guy in surfing he's the guy everyone knows but then there's probably you know Pete in Cavillia or whatever right yeah yeah exactly like everybody's like oh Ray Romano huh he's amazing you're like well actually David tells better and they're like who would you like yeah exactly right same shit

interesting well that that memory just shot into my asshole but that's cool I'm excited to see it when it's out fucking throw it around I got I gotta see this I can't wait I mean I felt it was one of those things where I landed it I was like I'm so glad that's on tape because no one will believe me and it'll never happen again now could you drop into a half pipe if you had to what would happen yeah oh I mean I have one in my backyard I mean a mini one but we built one but I'm talking now 20 years later if you dropped it would you would you swoop over the other side or would you get around or what would happen it'd be

a little it'd be a little sloppy I mean I'd be gone whoa I have a fanny pack on in a high sea going you know but I think I could pull it off without falling could you go down up off the ramp and land back on the ramp no no that's next level crazy shit okay I was a street guy the street guys well you should come to a store your park sometimes we have like the best skate park in the city right down the street my house we could come I'll shoot it and then we'll blow each other oh that's not bad that's not bad maybe you bring the ukulele the mandolin yeah shit I knew that Jesus you go away my god yeah that's hurtful I

don't know if I can go on to the pod here bring the violin all right well what are you cooking with over there well I'm cooking with a seaman as always but hey I want to tell everyone a couple things stop the pod right now if you haven't already go join the patreon you're gonna get the video on YouTube a week early and you're gonna get all the bonus we've done at least one bonus a week throughout the entire pandemic I don't know how many weeks that is 45 weeks or something we got every single live episode on there and you get the YouTube week early so you can write you know whatever you want on the comments

before it comes out and what else is on there we got the Seinfeld behind the scenes we got curb your enthusiasm commentary one will ingress that was kind of silly but that was fun we got stranger by the lake that's up your ass so join the patreon it's the it's the best patreon in town great the live apps alone are worth it I mean like full houses at the village underground like Hollywood improv the fat black pussycat with like Michelle Wolf are you should fear Nikki Glazer Bert Kreischer just some some killer stuff so yeah you're missing out if you're not on it and let's try to do the the other thing we mentioned what is

that if you join if you join the patreon and whoever has the funniest name we will give you a shout out on the queef big shout out so come up with a good fake gay name you know 69 assholes tied in a knot right make it funny because we're gonna we're gonna talk about it and queef it out and shout it out yeah so join up and do that today right now yeah and also if you're not if you're starting to smell a little bit you know summer's right around the corner it's January oh yeah Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by native deodorant natives aluminum-free deodorant is a great addition to your 2021 routine I love

native deodorant that's what I reach for as soon as I get out of the shower I take a nice soapy shower wash my face wash my balls then you gotta put the order on by the way a few times this year I forgot to put deodorant on cuz it's weird times and my wife is like get out of bed you smell like a bag of turds yeah but I don't if I get native deodorant they care about what you put in your armpits that's why their deodorant ingredients list includes things you've actually heard of like coconut oil and shea butter and another plus is that none of their product products are tested on animals and

almost everything is vegan you know that you know about this stuff mark don't you love the native I use it the lady uses it we keep a couple around just cuz they they smell nice they feel nice they got different options you get it they're sensitive on the skin all plastic free you know it you love it try a little and check out the rotating seasonal scents make the switch to native today by going to native do dot com slash stories they changed it up or use promo code stories that check out and get 20% off your first order that's native deo dot com slash stories or use promo code stories to check out for 20% off

your first order native deodorant take care of your bod that's right in two things with stories is also brought to you by Raycon everybody you're doing a lot of stuff time you spending a lot of time watching movies I'm sure TV shows talking on the phone FaceTiming with the family I know you're doing a lot of it you gotta have some of the best earbuds around get Raycon wireless earbud ear pods earbuds oh Jesus Christ on it on acid we'll clip that get yourself some Raycon earbuds I'll tell you why I love your earbuds no dangling wires or stems to get in your way here you're always knocking the other ones out Raycons

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gotta do to get it go to buy Raycon dot com slash Tuesdays that's it you'll get 15% off your entire Raycon order so feel free to grab a pair and a spare that's 15% off at buy Raycon dot com slash Tuesdays one more time buy Raycon dot com slash Tuesdays thank you all right I gotta ask you about this now this is a story slash a pickle that I was in and I gotta hear your input your feeling cuz you're you're a wise man I don't think you get credit for the wisdom I have never heard wisdom why I have wisdom teeth are removed so this is a new one well you're not smart but I feel like you're wise so what do you what do you think of this

what do you what do you feel about this let me let me put a little something in your ass and see if your cock moves so hit me you're a New Yorker many of our listeners are not New Yorkers so let me just explain something you know about there's like when you come home there's always grocery flyers in your doorway on the thing that there's people that go around they these stores I guess the grocery stores the whatever stores they hire you know little Mexican kids to walk around with pieces of paper and they just stuff them in your mailbox they put them in your foyer they put them on your fence your door they're just

everywhere they stick them in your window and it's just trash and then it blows around the city it's everywhere I don't know anyone that's ever fucking use these things not once maybe to blow your nose wipe your ass or jizz in but that's about it they're not even coupons they're just like milk 80 bucks or whatever right pot roast eighty nine cents a pound so they're everywhere in the city it's an epidemic and I've never seen anyone putting them there they're just always there so you wake up and they're in your ass they're on your wife's tits they're just all the time I'm wallpaper with this shit yeah the

other day for the first time in my whole life living in New York 13 years 14 Jesus 14 years and I see a kid putting them in the like the fence in front of my apartment ah and so he's like getting ready to do it he's putting them in I say hey you can just give him to me just give him to me and the guy like hands me one he's like hands me one and I have a resentment to this guy because I hate that just garbage and shit everywhere yes and in my mind I'm taking it out on him so he hands me one and I just kind of I fold it and then he keeps putting them in the little fence like three of them and I go yeah I'll take so I'll go

I'll just take him he's like no no no I put I put but I can't understand what he's saying well he's trying to get paid exactly so he walked he takes a step away and I just go and I just rip them all out of the fence because they're trash nobody wants them now nobody so I think what he's gone he's left he's done his deed I just go and he hears him he's like and he's like yelling at me and I'm like I'd fold it immediately because I want you know in my mind I'm like this is garbage you're putting trash here I don't want it no soliciting but I fold it immediately I was like I'm bringing it

to my roommates I'm holding the thing there pretty good but he's like I but he's like I pay they check I think he was trying to say they look they check see if they put them there so he'll get in trouble and I was like okay I don't want you to get in trouble I'll put them back and he's like no it's fine it's fine but my thing is what do you mean they check like they're put there so someone will take them in the house right so yeah if they come by I'll just seem like we brought him in the house good point so then I was like I'll put them in that meanwhile they're all crumpled up in my hand like obviously

trash and I was like I'm gonna give them to my people yeah and he's like okay fine fine he's like all disheveled and I felt terrible because I realized you know he's just working for eight cents an hour right I shouldn't be taking it on him and then I went inside and I put them on the mailbox but then I assume the neighbors are like why is there trash in fuck in here of course so what do you think am I a bad person am I a decent person what would you do I think it's a tough one because that's why a lot of these these snazzy buildings they'll put like no menus no know whatever and so they just don't want it because they

know it's all trash but yeah I think this guy's an idiot I think his boss is an idiot and they're just like yeah this is what you do and it's like no everything's online now nobody looks at the I think in the 40s you went oh how much is milk now how much is an egg but I think that's over and I don't think they realize that but what a waste of paper what a waste of ink what a waste of manpower or personpower it's just such a piece of shit move and so I'm with you but it's hard though because then once you're face-to-face the guy he's like hey I'm trying to make a living here I don't give a right he was just told he's gonna get

sent back to you know Ecuador if he doesn't put these things here so I did feel bad for him because I had this human face-to-face moment and I allowed ten years of resentment of these flyers to come out right and he's just a little guy you know whatever sticking them in a fence but I also didn't understand why I couldn't just throw them away because I don't want them yeah no that is a tough one I'm with you because they're so worthless and you see them all over New York City and they're they're a pain in the ass and my thing is like sorry you go ahead you cut out the middle man but my thing is like well what do you

care you did your job now I'm I live here I'm picking them up and throwing them away and if you had been a hundred yards down the street you wouldn't even have known I crumpled them up and threw them away yeah that's true it's it's mental I think he put it there he saw you rip it off he's like hey I just did that you're ruining my shit but if he's not even there and can't see it he doesn't know it but I think it's a mental thing like hey I just put that there yeah he took it personally I guess it felt insulting to his pride his ego so I felt bad so you know I ran down the street and I blew him but well that is tough that's a good

question it's a very curb-ish predicament yeah it was a strange predicament but I think I handled it okay and I'll just tell you about this real quick because I know you got a lot that you're out in the middle of nowhere you got a lot of gigs but go up and hogging I gotta tell you I had I did a gig I think you did it back in the summer Liz from the cellar yes and said hey we got a show at the Village Underground do you want to come do it now I got a confession to make that I've never told the general public in my whole life this is a big moment oh boy we got an exclusive this is an exclusive I should put it on the patreon so I've

gone this whole time the pandemic's been going on 10 months I've managed to go the entire thing without being tested I love it I love it my plan was to go the whole thing cuz I can't have something put in my nose Jerry I get it and and this is not just the no this is a fucking NBA player poking into an Asian virgin brutal I mean like I'd rather have a dick in my ass again than have this nose thing I can't even see it on video they show the commercial whatever the fuck the footage and everyone talk Daniel Simonson by the way one of the great comics has an amazing bit about the test oh really it's so funny but so

that guy is fantastic everyone checkers from noray comic great comic but so he's got a bit about it so I almost didn't do the show cuz a I like the idea of going this whole time without getting tested I know a bad person a bad American but B I'm like it makes me throw up when I see the test I can't even I've heard the stories you told me this horror story Liz is telling me the horror story the whole thing and everyone just assumes I've been tested a bunch because I'd been traveling a lot but I haven't felt sick I've just I've been fine and then Sarah got tested a couple times and we fucking the tits so I hadn't been tested

so I'm like freaking out I said yes to the gig it's an indoor gig they do the rapid test it's at the village underground last time I was there was to shoot my special Wow which so I'm like I'm just all the comedy clubs you know we love all these clubs comedy on state and everything but the seller is what I really miss that brick wall low ceiling basement reverberating Liz the hang the food right Val Kramer the butler yeah so I'm like I gotta do it and it's a killer lineup Donnelly Ronan Hirschberg Jackie fabulous fabulous Daniel Simonson Yamanica killer lineup yeah like Roland and so we go there I'm like

shitting my pants and Donnelly that pimple he's all nervous too he's like is it up the nose and we're texting I finally found someone else that's a big coward like me so we're like bonding I get there I'm so anxious I'm freaking out and everyone else is nervous about the show I don't give a fuck about the show I'm just worried about getting a tube stuck up my ass then I see Donnelly this move I'm still mad at this son of a bitch he comes up to me and he's like I'm like oh god I'm nervous I'm so glad you're here we can hold each other's hands we can kiss and he's like I got mine earlier I'm hosting so I had to be

here early I was like how was it and he puts his hand on my shoulder he's like it's bad oh that's the worst and he's like she went so far up it's so brutal and I'm turning like white I'm like I can't do it I'm gonna I'm gonna leave I felt like the cowardly lion when he fucking dives out the window right and then Donnelly's like I can't do it to you I'm fucking with you I'm appalled what he's fucking with me he's like it wasn't that bad I'm just kidding but alright I'm so livid I'm like we were vulnerable together we were great news no I made myself vulnerable he was vulnerable we were the cowards together and then he

gets it early and fucks with me I'm like this goes against everything that we're supposed to be together in this oh I thought you'd be ecstatic I thought you'd be relieved oh I was livid I wanted to I wanted to fight him but how was it not bad not bad at all and here's the great part so and and we've talked about this before and this is a topic on mindful metal jacket quite a bit too is you build up the anxiety in your head and then when it's time to go you're just there there's nothing to do you're just sat there she's stuck it up my ass or nose and did a couple spins it's over in five seconds not bad and

this made me feel good Ronan Hirschberg who's had like 40 of these and he has a good theory he's like I think people that did blow have less problem with it because he did a ton of coke if you can believe it interesting so afterwards after we get the test he was like I gotta be honest he's like that's one of the worst ones I've had he's like that's like closer to the worst so I've had one and Ronan was like that's worse than normal yes I was fine so it really made me feel like I'm fine I'm just a big cunt well it's all into don't you have a quote for that some Zen AA gate thing if you if you worry your scurry or whatever

something like that well there's the great Mark Twain of suffered a great many hardships in my life most of which never happened that's it that's a fun one and there's a few others check out mindful metal jacket nobody listens to it for God's sake please listen I'm doing hours and hours of work on this thing and nobody cares but anyways yeah it is it's no joke I mean I did it and it hurt and they do it twice yeah well this one was just the one it was one and three spins she did it and I was doing the thing too I'm like I'm the biggest coward please I hate myself my father never hugged me my mother's you know mean and it took 10

seconds it wasn't so bad but anyways so then you go downstairs everybody's cleared and we did the show and it was just magical it was streaming to a thousand people take a guess which Seinfeld guest star was watching and messaged me to say it was great oh I'm gonna go with Mickey the midget no I wish damn because he looks he does stand up a little I'll give you a hint she has a spectacular body part terry hatcher terry hatcher was watching the show and she messaged she's like I was on the treadmill I was dying you're great couldn't believe it

terry hatcher I could be dating an oscar winner jerry oh my god I had the hugest crush on her that's amazing that's lowest from lowest terry hatcher the desperate housewives the whole thing that's incredible pretty exciting and we messaged back and forth a few times I said hey I'm not exactly thrilled with my wife and she said hey I know the feeling and I said do you like skateboards and oh my god hatcher I made up the part about the skateboard but the rest is true very exciting wow what a night I mean I went on there and I haven't felt alive like that in so long because you're in the basement the

bricks the thing and again that's where you shot the special and there's beautiful exciting people and it was just killer and I was riffing and then and and everybody fucking killed and to sit in the back and watch like seven stand-ups in a row and it just felt like the old days it was bittersweet because it felt sad also because you're like god I want to do this every night to hang in the back with four cotton you're like have you done this bit you ever heard this bit this is crazy oh my god she's so funny he's so funny and Daniel Simon said really blew me away that guy is like unbelievable but I haven't watched any stand-up in a year and you forget how fun it is yeah he's a tough follow I hope you didn't go out he's a tough actor because he's like

he's like an 80s comic where he just fucking rips like the room comes apart and then you got to go up there and go uber huh you know it's he's doing another thing yeah so funny and and Rana was on I went out to run on who's another killer yeah and uh everybody just killed it was so fun to watch so fun to be in that basement again and Liz and I just wanted to hug everybody and make out with them and and who knows and then afterwards I heard that those uh rapid tests have like 30% false yeah negatives so then I was like oh Jesus I'm probably gonna die but I'm fine and uh great great night special night and hey Terry what's up I love you uh Terry snatcher I mean that's lunch up I'm wildly jealous that's incredible and she's on the treadmill too which is somehow even hotter

I just picked her in like a leotard and a dildo up her ass oh god so hot I'll put in a good word thank you uh wow that's a killer night yeah just it's funny how that was so normal and now it's like this special treat yeah I mean well that was that's the part you missed because like I've done a bunch of shows I was in Royersford which was great and and all these gigs and and Shafi's got a bunch of gigs and and good stuff and I did Foxboro and yada yada I'm in Key West next week but that feeling of like hey everyone's been tested so we're we're all good to go and then the seller because you're with seven comics it's not just you're watching some local dick and uh whoever you brought it's it's like oh this guy that guy that girl and so fun and like I said we're just

we're eating fries in the back and chips and just a good time to walk down those stairs felt so fun the only problem like that that show is great and Liz is the the best and puts on a hell of a show yada yada but my problem was the one I did was in a warehouse kind of a nightclubby place and the audience sucked it was in Tribeca it was like hot people and models so you know they never laugh so I think you had the the better one because mine was exciting I'm hanging out with Chris D and Matteo and Kirsten is there we're all busting balls and then the show wasn't great so it was kind of this weird bummer oh our show was awesome man it was it was really great now I want to wrap this up because we got we're running out of time here and I want to hear it because

I know you got some tails going there I got crazy I'm gonna I'm gonna fly through them and please jump in because it says a lot of kooky facts and fact toys and gays so uh I'm gonna I'm gonna give you the whole kitten kaboo please all right I'm just just a little over overview here Thursday night Kansas City improv Friday night Des Moines two shows Saturday Des Moines two shows Sunday Oklahoma Omaha two shows so you fly in the KC which is a cunt of a flight you got eight eight layovers six u-hauls one bus an air tran and a tranny and you finally get to Kansas City then you gotta get the rental car because you gotta be driving for three days right so I go get the rental car yada yada yada and the lady's nice everybody's got a mask on plexiglass she gives me the the piece of

paper you need I go out to meet old George old black guy he's super sweet guy at Kansas City hey I'm George well he's got a bit of a limp and a hunch and he goes excuse me sir they didn't put the type of car on there and I go oh I think it was a compact I just get the cheapest piece of shit they have and he's like I can't help you unless you get the the thing written it's the lady's got a right on their compact and I was like ah geez so I gotta run back in and the lady goes oh my god I'm so sorry I never make a mistake in my life here you go because I made a mistake I'm upgrading you who I go oh all right whatever you know I'm fine with a dodge dart or spark or butt plug whatever it is so I go back out to George and he goes oh okay you got a nice luxury mid-size so I go

so he goes anything from out of this thing I go but it's a Hyundai and an Alantra and a Camaro or a Corolla or whatever it is and then in the glistening light I see the dodge charger oh and you get that fucking Tim Allen 90s thing going like you start feeling like masculine your testosterone starts popping you go fuck it get with the charger I jump in that thing rar boy that thing cooks I peeled out it was like a three hour drive or it was like it was like a 20 minute drive to the hotel but I did Kansas City was great hot show next day I couldn't wait to get in that fucking bitch and drive off to a Des Moines which is like three hours and that thing moves baby boy it was a thrill now what are we talking black

is it orange yellow what are we talking it was like a sexy blacky gray kind of thing you know they get those weirdo fusion interracial colors and that thing move I was like going 90 in two seconds the pickup and the gas miles is pretty good too and I was just whizzing down I passed everybody I was zigging and zagging I felt like a griswold out there you know like a nice car just tearing up the Midwest road you know my uncle's got a 66 charger we ever talked about this whoa that's a sweet little cherry there it's unbelievable jet black it's the exact car in the movie big fish if you ever saw a big fish there's red he's got the red one my uncle is the black one and I'll just tell a quick tale he's had it since he was 21 years old it's his baby restored

to the whole thing and years ago like 20 years ago he sold it to a guy and the guy's like I'm going to go get the cash I'll be right back he came with the cash in his hand my uncle Brian said I can't do it I'm sorry I fucked up and the guy understood he's like I totally get it he's like not a problem he's like I'm really saying I totally get it not a problem he's like I couldn't believe you're selling this to me and my uncle was like he was gonna cry like the guy and if the guy had the cash it would have been done deal he had to go get it and he was sitting there being like I can't do it and yeah and like my cousin his his son bought a 67 so they have a 66 and a 67 well I like to 69 but that's a beautiful story it was almost meant to be you know it was a fate

fate baby all right so you take it to uh don't tell me Des Moines yes Des Moines which I don't even know what that means I think that's French for uh shit town there's nothing to do there or white people but either way I'm in Des Moines funny bone one of the good funny bones and we sell it all out because it's you know eight capacity eight percent capacity and uh I got this kid Ari killer feature like one of those rare features that you just never heard of it just fucking murders it Ari mans I think oh first of all KC so they said they go who do you want to open I go I don't know whoever some local guy I want to throw a local guy a bone and they go well here's a list of a bunch of local guys with links and I'm like I don't want

to watch all these local tapes so I open one of them it's a guy in a suit probably a little older guy in a suit looking sharp at doing one of those dry bars killing so I go perfect he's got jokes he's killing bookum and I get there I show up this guy's 65 years old he's dressed like Eminem he's got a hat to the side with a flat brim he's got a leather jacket on a damped up t-shirt what do you call it tap out he's got a fucking uh tight pants that are camouflaged I go what the hell are you doing he goes what are you kidding it's a bunch of kids out there I gotta fit in I go that's 35 year old idiot's out there it's a bunch of guys at hoodies and then sneakers and he goes oh no I don't know about this shit he goes out there and eats his lunch he tried to be hip and it blew it

blew it he blew it but cute guy sweet guy he had a business card and a couple of VHS tapes he was selling but Des Moines I got this kid Ari's an LA kid opens for Theo opens for Santino funny guy really great act and here's the clinker this guy shows up looks just like Javier Bardem but like younger and more normal and he goes uh to the lady to the manager goes hey uh can I do a guest set and she was like Jesus well you just show up and expect a guest set and he's like oh I understand but I open for Greg Warren a month ago at the Omaha funny bone I like Norman I figure hey I'll come by and do a guest set for him and she goes oh you open for Greg Warren okay we love Greg Warren we know Greg Warren and Colleen runs the funny bone there so if she likes you then I like you but let

me check with Mark and he goes yeah of course so she comes in the green room and I'm chopping it up with Ari and she goes it's a guy out there says he owns for Greg Warren you want him to a guest set and I'm gonna be like yeah you ever heard of the guy she's like no I'm nervous because I've been burned sure too many times and I look I like to give out stage time and I get it's hard to come by especially in a pandem but something's fishy this guy just shows up so she goes all right hold on let me text Colleen the manager of the Omaha funny bone so Colleen she's like hey this guy's here he said he opened for Greg Warren she goes never heard of him oh and I said well let me text Greg Warren so I go hey this guy's the funny bone they said he opened for you never heard of him wow dirty

so now the manager is pissed and she's like is this guy fucking lying to me and I was like yeah baby is and and then the feature goes well look I'm I'm going up cold it's a two-man show why don't you let him do five in front of me and that way I'll have a host anyway and he can take five minutes of my time and we were like all right yeah because we're kind of curious sure so he goes up as a rough one and now she's steaming she's like don't do this guy lie to me but he just kind of had a rough set fuck this guy and he gets off stage she chews him out kicks him out of the clubs says don't ever come back you're dead to me wow what no I swear to God and he's gone then her phone ping Colleen you know what I do remember that guy what then my phone pops up Greg Warren yeah no

that's the guy I know that guy tall guy dark hair and I said yeah yeah they just chewed him out kicked him out of comedy he's never worked again so wow oh poor guy boy not a memorable guy I guess they they fired him and apparently they called the next day and apologize but uh the guy's having a rough week Jesus and so but is it one of those things too like afterwards you kind of in retrospect you're like actually did pretty well yeah maybe he didn't get a few laughs that's pretty funny he did okay actually I mean some stuff hit some stuff didn't but it was we were just staring at this guy like he was an enigma if he was white but uh was but to make the same joke ah sorry so uh Des Moines was great whatever get out of Des Moines wake up in Des Moines go straight to Omaha

in the charger two hour drive did it like a one hour and 40 going 90 the whole way get to the Omaha funny bone Mike Cronin's opening you gotta love Mike great time great fun great club do two shows three o'clock and a six o'clock the fucking sun is shining the birds are chirping the the cows are humping and we do two shows now here's the clinker again I'm doing a little meet and greet little kind of thing after you know try to keep safe hi hello maybe a fist bump this one gal comes up with a big tube with a bow on it and I go oh what's this she goes oh I got a surprise for you and I go oh boy I shake it it's gotta it's got some weight to it what the hell's this hey you know you immediately feel bad you don't have to bring me this shit I feel bad just thanks for coming but whatever

so she goes open it open it I go all right pop it open pull it out you'll never guess in a million years what this is all right well it's gotta I'm thinking poster because it's a tube so it's a poster tube you're saying no to the poster well it's half saying heft a lot of heft okay it's heft weight it feels dildo because it's got to be cylinder ish it's got to be sin cindalic cinderella and it's got some weight so maybe it's a strap on perhaps well I guess you could use it for that so I pull I put my hand in this is a long too this is like four feet or whatever I pull it out now this is for the real gays out there many episodes ago maybe even many years ago I did the cleveland hilarities club and if you sell

out the shows they give you a baseball bat yes with your name engraved in it and the club and all that and like the people the owner whatever and it's like a nice bat with some time and effort put into it I brought it to the airport and they go yeah you can't bring this on a plane it's a weapon I go what the fuck are you gonna do this is a expensive nice bat they go you're gonna have to throw it out or check it and I was already late so I said just keep it just keep the fucking thing and she said I'm throwing it out and I said ah so some twat took that bat and put it on ebay what yes and this gal this sweet little lady found it on ebay bought it and brought it to the show the bat the original bat the bat bat how did she get it is there a tsa person or something I mean

I want to know how she got this far who who is the ebay bitch that's the that's the it's a tsa whore oh my god this is insane this is like this is like a mystery wrapped in an enigma I mean we should go this should be an hbo special or an hbo thing the tsa bat I mean this is wild this is a true crime Alex Gibney doc you series I mean the the twists and turns that bats go bit all over the Midwest wow god bless it what did she pay for it may I ask I think she paid 150 150 bucks okay wow I mean that's probably under value really if you think about it because what's not signed by you it's signed by the club yeah yeah I don't know that's a good question but but here's the rub I go hey this is very sweet you're a fucking hero I love you I'll blow you

but I can't bring this on the plane again right okay check it though if you if you're not late or something because you haven't flown yet good point but can you check just that or just have to be in a bag that's a good question a guano I mean because I can't picture a bat and balls like sliding down that thing when you're right be sliding all around the bottom of the plane you need to hear it in the in the cabin but she goes I thought of that this is a such a sweet lady she's like I thought of that I'll ship it to you and I'm like well now you're getting 150 for the bat then the shipping is gonna be 50 bucks and you're down 200 now and you're you're spending all your time on my fucking bat that I'll probably put on a mantle and put up my ass once in 10 years but

she's like give me your address and now she has my address and she's sending the bat over wow that is exciting and let's see if something else happens because it's like a sign fell there'll be one more incident you know the ups guy will be gay or he'll trip or whatever yeah he'll get no fight and he'll have to pull the bat out and beat the hood limbs off with it and then it'll have a whole another story so yeah who the hell knows but shout out to that lady we hugged she said thank you I'm a Tuesday she had a Tuesday shirt I love your comedy I love Joe I love the pod you're putting so much joy into the world she started crying I didn't know what to do I hugged her I had to put the fire out and yeah so she's a fucking mensch and the gay of the week wow no

kidding yeah I got I don't even have a candidate for gay of the week I mean buys the bat on ebay this is insane I figured that bat was you know up someone's ass and over and out but around the corner yeah same I mean it went from TSA the garbage barrel at the fucking Cleveland airport to her bedroom where she probably lubed it up and sat on it for a week and then bam comedy club wow I mean that is amazing so you gotta do something special with that thing I use mine all the time around the house because I'm one of these guys that's always pretending to be hitting I'm hitting the game winning home run every every day over here and sometimes I flip it around and I'm playing guitar so mine's like all worn out in the handle you know it's gold like all I've like rubbed gold

all over my hand and it's all worn out because I use it all the time I love it it says here's the Tuesdays with stories we love you well there you go all right well I'm gonna use it too then I'm gonna fuck around with it yeah it's a lot of fun maybe we should take pictures like we'll do like the bash brothers this McGuire and Jose can say go ahead that poster that all the girls beat off to that'd be fun I love it back to back bats will be the gash brothers and have you know pussies something I'm into it all right gash it up so yeah thanks to her thanks to all you kooks out there and queefs out there we got a lot of patreon stuff cooking we're gonna fuck you we're doing another sign felled up we we invented it blow me and uh we'll keep doing some curbs and some uh some

twinks and some other stuff so get on the patreon send us in your funny name we'll read it out we'll give you a shout out the funnier the better and uh yeah tell a friend get on board hyenas are done wear the pod get on board yeah get on board jump in there I'll be in Key West by the way which is like they're like the new variant is going wild in Florida like Jesus Christ and then there's the Brazilian thing so Key West comedy next weekend 11 through 13th and uh something in March side splitters in March and uh I don't know so go join the patreon you sign up for my youtube whatever you say subscribe to that couple videos up there and uh check out mine for metal jack and if you got anxiety or depression I gotta start plugging this thing it's got 11 viewers so go check it out

listen to it it's a lot of fun and then uh Ron on and I are talking movies for the love of fucking Christ take it easy on the guy he's coming you gotta see him it's brutal really I left a few I feel for him he's a wonderful comic and I gotta just hammer home Ron on Hershberg one of the best comics great working killer even if his is his movie opinions are trash just uh take it easy on the guy and listen to his albums because he's amazing yes he's a beat yeah what's the album called I forgot it's a killer album downhill ever since it's it's really great there you go absolutely hilarious and he killed at the v you also I mean sure he's uh you know his movies opinions yikes oh yeah yeah yeah but no no anyways check it out check it out folks uh keep on keep it on tell a friend

blow your dead praise Allah and uh yeah we'll see you next week things are things are looking up we're gonna get out of this goddamn pandemic at some point back scene