Tuesdays with Stories! - #395 Gunt Control

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

Folks, it's a wide open Tuesday's as Mark & Joe celebrate the openings of NYC comedy clubs before Mark schedules two gigs at once while Joe worries about shingles does a gig in Connecticut with Greg Stone. Check out our new merch here! Shirts, stickers, phone cases, mugs, you name it! https://www.teepublic.com/user/tuesday-s-with-stories Sponsored by: Native (nativedeo.com/stories or use code: stories at checkout), Raycon (buyraycon.com/tuesdays), & Manscaped (manscaped.com/tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy hello everybody that was a double start it's Joe list and mark Norman here back the apartment we're here to suck you dick and your mother out and I think I feel

like we're good to go now I mean we're gonna have some scheduling issues maybe we'll zoom but until then we're back we're here we're at the apartment lunch stuff studios the sequel didn't we come up with a name for this place oh yeah it was cleftown or dick cheese something it was lunch stuff deuce making a drop in a deuce maybe we didn't I can't remember I forgot to bring the thing there's some guy mailed us some artwork and I figured out how to hang it but I don't know how to carry it here I'll have to wait till I bring the car but some guy I forget his name I should have wrote it down I'm a bad person shipped us two pieces of

physical fan art it says Tuesday and it's like a brick wall with a little sign you saw it yeah house but we forgot to give it to you it looks like a theater marquee that goes down you know it says T U E S whatever it is yes it's a marquee mark and the funky bunch yes he was hot in his day marquee mark I like it that could be something someday that's not bad but I bought some gorilla double double-sided tape and then you just stick it up there and bang it hangs and it'll look nice back here all right I mean this is walls a little big for just a little dick hanging well you might have to put it somewhere else or get some

other artwork yeah you're a little light on artwork light on art we bought one Salak you sent me a print I'm gonna frame that Nazi and then we're getting one more over there okay well it's someone said we should get a big neon thing it doesn't cost that much money I'm never neon neon it just says gay or yeah we can go to a gay bar and steal one tonight but anyways yeah some kind of neon thing back here maybe or what about this for a name for the new studio the glory hole I like that but isn't that a podcast glory hole probably probably probably who knows what the bisexuals are doing these days the glory hole is

such a crazy risk you don't know who's on the other end you don't know if they got a herpy blister or or a one tooth they could cut you like a can opener yeah I don't see the appeal but I guess the main appeal that it's mainly for gay people right like a dick because there's no is there a lady glory hole or it's just a puts because it would be hard to maneuver because the pussy doesn't stick out you'd have to have like a split that's a big clit because the the vag is negative space you can't put negative through a negative right yeah plus the wall would fuck yeah because like a dick a dick is what like four inches on

average erect sure yeah three on a good day so if it's four and then your dry wall is a half an inch right you're only getting two and a half inches there but if you're sucking you can get you only need an inch of suck yes but if you're fucking you need the full five inches yes don't you agree of course of course but a lady can put her clam up to the wall and you can plow it I guess but have to be a thin wall like a sheet maybe a sheet like the Jews or the KKK yes very different yeah what is the Jew in the cake or the Jew in the sheet fucking is that a myth that's um I don't know I just know about it from curb but I think it's

a certain kind of Jew gosh gosh I was Muslim because wasn't she part of the Palestinian chicken I thought it was a Muslim thing or Palestinian thing maybe the same thing the Muslim and or Palestinian Jew very similar and yet they hate each other well it's all one land yeah each claim the same land right very tricky confusing and they I've met a couple pals who uh who ain't fond of the Jews still and they live in Brooklyn well I think it's it's a whole just crazy mess over there and I'm reading this book called the looming tower which is I don't care for the title no juming it feels a little like

a tower but this book proclaims or says or supposes or presupposes do you know any difference of any of these words I go suppose and move on I don't do a pre or an anti or any of that what the fuck's a presuppose now how about these people say supposedly it's a D supposedly yes supposedly supposedly and how about when you see fifth written out when you go to that fifth avenue stop fifth oh yeah that's a lispers nightmare FIFTH you get COVID from all that spitting fifth well anyway supposedly these the the the Muslim fuck I'm gonna get some some hell on wheels for this but this is not my theory but a lot of these Muslims what

happened was World War two you know they America one and then they supported the Jews and then Israel came a state and then these Muslims they believe that the reason America and God sided with the Jews because they weren't being proper Muslims so they decided to go we got to go hardcore is that right Muslim because God's watching and we're being too open we got our faces out here we're fucking we're not going to the mosque and the Mecca yeah we're being nice to gaze women are driving so they said we got to get hardcore and so they like doubled down and became like hardcore we got to kill these Jews in America because of

World War two and God is watching or something like that that's what I got out of the first I only read the back cover but sure it was like a couple photos well I read that I didn't read I heard this on a fucking you know Snapple fact but it said that the Palestinians owned all that land and we said hey hey hey scoot over there hood rat we're bringing in the heaps and they took half their shit so they're pissed still they're like well that's technically our dirt but I think the the Jews were there before they were all enslaved not before the Muslims but they were there at the same time I mean I think this is

gonna be what cancels us by the way our ignorance on this yeah I don't know I'm learning I'm learning but the Jews were the slaves for the Egyptians weren't they didn't they build the pyramids oh yeah Ben Hur and you know that was a scheme it's a fire and but I think the Jews were were slaves I heard the same thing but you picture a couple Jews building a pyramid I don't know whose idea was that well there's different kinds of Jews that's true I mean there's some big sons of bitches I mean you got that's true the bear Jew Munich yeah Eli Roth Gary Goldman I mean there's some serious Jews but then you got Woody

Allen's and you're you know Gary Veters Gary Veter who's pretty shaped up by the way he's shifted teams yeah he's been lifting some dreidels that kid he's he's ripped he's no joke and his kid is just goddamn adorable and starting a podcast I don't want to the kid not no he's gonna wait a few years but anyways we got all crazy I don't know how we ended up in the Middle East here yeah yeah it's not fun the Seinfeld say it's all that sand and no beach you'll make a guy angry but it's fun yeah it's his thing but yeah we got to get out because I'm worried that we're gonna piss off a couple infidels or incels or whatever

the hell it is yeah I support the whole thing whatever you guys think I think I'm for it I don't know what's what about anything and it's you I like I'm at a Muzzy I like I don't know I go either way by the way the Catholics claim the same area all the three big religions or the Christians that's all one area I've been to Jerusalem and it's a mishmash of real serious people yeah they all are like this is ours all three all comes down to real estate because Christ was born there and then the Mecca was born there and then you know Steven Spielberg was born there so it's all one area I didn't know he was there I know there's

a wailing wall whatever I went there yeah I went there and it was pretty exciting if you write a note and you put a thing in there and I feel like an asshole because again there's all three of these major things are all there bowing and crying and I don't belong to any of these groups I just kind of stood there and watched everybody and took a couple photos yeah sure well I don't know that place is a Dead Sea and I'd like to go though I hear it's beautiful the Dead Sea is the most overrated place I've ever been to in my life you can all email me and tell me I'm a dick-sucking piece of shit but it smells like farts it's earth

farts it's all muddy and I've told the story before I'm sure I went to the Waldorf Astoria in Jerusalem that's where I was staying I wore the slippers because they're like you're gonna want some sandals or whatever because it's rocky and jerry yeah sharp and so I wore the slippers and as soon as I stepped in it the mud I went ankle deep pulled my foot out and the mud just ate the Waldorf Astoria so I left two Waldorf Astoria slippers buried in like the most sacred place on the planet wow look at that it's almost as if the earth said no no no you're not getting out of here alive we're taking something from you and I

hated it I made my dick sting it smelled like shit and then the our guide got naked I saw his dick and balls and bush it was really bizarre yeah doesn't sound like my cup I mean the name doesn't do it any favor the Dead Sea it sounds pretty shitty now it was bad yeah anyways we got a steer clear of this because we have to delete all this I think you think all were fans we're just we're just trying to learn about I mean look we're taking an interest now we're gonna get shot or killed or blown up or canceled for this bad news apparently the guy who drove into the Capitol recently was a

as a Middle Easterner which is kept under wraps for some reason yeah I barely heard about that news story there you go get much of it but sometimes I just skipped news for a couple days I need a break the capitals having a hell of a year yeah the Washington capitals TJ Oshie the great team anyways how about this what do you know about shingles the roof of the skin the skin disease her pee thing I hear it's it's manageable who'd you hear what do you know heavy with everything you know because I think I got a case of the shingles over here I've been jerking

off for a week I've been eating too much bread to show you on camera but what is it the gut I got it's all over here it's all on the side and folks right in call in email me if you're not too offended from the last conversation because I assume people that know or are Jewish but I got this rash of red bumps all over here it's all itchy and it's similar to herpes and you know I got a lot of that sure in my asshole so I just happen to have some Valtrex in the cabin I had one piece of Valtrex I put that in my ass and the rash started to get a little better it's like pink as opposed to red but it's itchy Sarah's like I think

that shingles and I did some googling and shingles is usually on one side itchy starts with a rash can lead to like nerve pain and all this crazy shit so I'm taking Valtrex every day like three or four a day I'm eating them I'm putting in my cookies and swallowing it but does it say what causes it is it a bacterial thing is it a laundry detergent thing is it a stress thing it's a virus so if you've had chicken pox sure okay so if you had chicken pox you have it in you because it's just the herpes chicken pox shingles all one they're like Jews Muslims and Christians in Jerusalem I see it's all in there and

it all lays dormant in your spine or your nipples or somewhere hate dormant and if you get stressed mark dormant if you get stressed out or whatever if you have cancer or AIDS you it pops out and so I think I've been stressed I'm all you know I'm a stress ball isn't that weird though you've been stressed your whole goddamn life and now they pop well other things were popping they were waiting to pop because I had herpes pop I had reflux pop I had you know mom and pop I got a lot of pops corn pop but so all of a sudden it's it's in there you know pop goes the weasel and I'm all itchy so I've been taking the thing and I don't know I

think I got shingles wow I can't wait to see it well I mean show the folks at show they'll freeze frame they'll do a whole thing I look like Santa Claus over here I'm a fat fuck it's a good point it's a good point they'll cut that up and say you're you're you're got a c-section or you're gay or whatever it is so yeah good point you know I'm all doughy it's winter I mean by the way I gotta change 68 degrees you know I like my park parties I like to take my shirt off suns out guns out fun and so I gotta get into ship shape here so I'm doing the 19 hour fast I eat for three minutes a day and wow good for you well I made that up I'm not really doing

that but but yeah I think I got the shing I mean I'm always it's always something it's always root canal it's a forehead something's cooking it's bad news bears but I don't know what to do but I'm all pink and itchy over here it's embarrassing I've had every rash gash and slash in the book I mean I saw I'm with you but I've never had the shing I've had Pringles they're delicious but I've never had shingles I've had scabies and gays and scurvy never had the shing yeah I got shingles and doubles it's it's bad news bears but I'm taking Valtrex like like you read about and it's not easy to obtain this Valtrex I had to go there and I was like hey can I get a and I feel like what was that one Seinfeld or maybe

it was curb when he's like trying to buy the no I know what it was it was Jerry asking an dentist your dentist oh yeah like secretly asking for a dentist because I had to go to the pharmacy and I'm like hey Valtrex and the lady's like what and then there's like a bunch of old people waiting for their shot behind me and I was like Valtrex can I get a refill and she's like I I don't see anything here and I was like I got it here before Dr. Steve called it in she's like it's been more than a year it cancels and I was like I gave her like the doggie eyes or puppy eyes what's the eyes puppy dog eye puppy dog eye and I said boy I could really use some Valtrex if you if you know what I mean she's like she gave me the sympathetic squint because you can't see the

full face it's all mass right she's a muslim so it felt like a sympathetic squint and she just gave me that and I was like oh fuck so then I had to have a doctor I know I don't want to name names in case they get lose their license but I had to have him call it in not Dr. Steve different oh you know two docs couple doctors and this one called it in so I went back there like an hour later I was like hey remember me and she gave me the thing but it was a hundred bucks American stinks it seems like you get a bomb like who told you to put the bomb on but I feel like a bomb would would kill that well I had a bomb at the cellar last night but didn't help my rash that's what I heard speaking of muslim it comes a big giant cat oh my it's just gonna sniff it's

not even it likes to be in the mix it's almost like Todd Barry it doesn't want to talk it just wants to be near you oh he talks to me oh sorry yeah it's a bummer well yeah the cellar I mean should we get into the first comedy club opening weekend Cuomo touched me the clubs are open with seats inside four rooms at the cellar the stand got them New York comedy club cooking it's we're back I mean we're live Friday April 3rd April 2nd a day that will live in for me not in for me but for me for me I mean this was unbelievable magical day I was here we recorded that day we did a bonus and what a what a night I mean it was magical I went over to whatever I came over here walked into the cellar it just felt alive yes the fat plaque the lounge yes set up like a

comedy festival over there and what what a night just seeing all these people like Aaron the manager there Steve fabricate gave me a hug hug me I mean I picked him up his little feet were dangling and the sellers packed Estes over there she looks amazing yeah it looks great it was a special night I gotta say special night celebrities came out of this Schumer doing a set Romano is doing a set Chris Rocks doing a set Louis doing a set it was hot to trot you could run from one to the other it was it was a nip in the air McDougal was a buzz that with the the old the strip was back got them Seinfelds it got them telling people to take the fucking plexiglass down killer night killer weekend and I heard that Seinfeld went before the host because he was the first comic on pretty clever I

mean it's a tough tough spot because yeah they're like huh he got his got a chicken wing in his mouth going ah it's Jerry what the fuck yeah by the way I heard he did pretty good and then the host murdered that's what I heard I heard the same yeah the same but she got to have an opening that's a good point she's got an opening all right but um but I mean women not her specifically it was a joke about vagina Jesus she's gonna eat a clam but anyways it was so special and the seller upstairs was like packed and by the way I think like three people had the same thing as me the comics table is an audience table right now I know is odd I walked right up to it and I was like boy there's a bunch of new people here like literally I almost sat down I had my backpack and

I was like hey oh and then it's like a little couple seats over to the left yeah the comics table right now you can book a ticket and sit at the comic table and watch a show which is exciting but those little seats were a nightmare because there's a little sliver and it just goes long ways of about four or five seats and so then you get it you get down there some guy goes hey he gets up you slide in and then you're oh I'm up and it's like an airplane everybody's got to get up and get out so you can get out it's kind of a nightmare so you gotta go to the lounge yeah the villa the seller is the comedy seller is still the bed well the v you maybe is the best there's a village underground which is a big room that feels normal that's where I did my first spot I haven't been there yet the

village underground and there's no plexiglass and it's just open and I mean it was hot and the lineup was Jackie fabulous no I love Jackie Eric Newman hosting Jackie fabulous then Colin Quinn then me and then Louis CK oh my lord what a hot to trot spot I mean it was a murder fest and then everybody's hanging out Ronon's there he's got no spots but he bangs out anyways because he's cool and um who else was there JP McDade jalapeno popper he's there um tall cup of jizz that pee very tall strangely tall it's not comfortable talking to him yeah what are you a scarecrow he's like three heads higher than me he's like the kids in the trench coat that are on the shoulders oh I think you meant Eric Harris and Dylan Klaibald

they were the kids that shot the school oh they were the trench coat mafia the boy what do you call them the can that was that Connecticut no Westbrook Columbine they were like the oh geez yes school shooters yes I was at a freshman in high school when that happened pretty exciting yeah it was April of 99 I was in the sophomore that was big maybe I was a soft I think I was a junior soft now a year ahead of you or maybe I'm wrong I think you are a year ahead yeah not what did you graduate oh one yep yeah 2000 I think it was April 99 which was the spring of my junior year I thought it was 97 maybe I'm gay I don't know pretty sure it's 99 but I might be wrong too but I read that book by uh David Carter a June Carter a joke Carter some Carter wrote a book called Columbine it's

the best book I've read my whole life the president that was a Carter that was Jimmy Jimmy peanut guy yes yeah but uh that was crazy and I remember teachers were a little uh were stepping lightly after that you know they were like hey you got a detention and you went oh yeah I got a trench coat in the closet they go take the weekend off yeah it was crazy because I remember oh the cat's smelling me it's just a sniff all right nothing gonna happen um the pants I didn't get new pants the ankles I'm blinded much people email me they're like you gotta go to long pants dot com or silly pants or some pants website silly pants we gotta start that with some kind of website with super pants or whatever I haven't fixed them yet Jesus it's

like homage porn over here it's bad news bear I just want to kill myself but by the way someone sent me a suicide hotline I was only kidding I'm not gonna kill myself over the pants I got a thing being like one eight eight suicide it's never too late your your love or whatever yeah feel bad I'm just kidding at least they like you how about a suicide text line by the way nobody wants to call a call will make me want to kill myself no absolutely that's uh it's no good yeah I'm gonna sketch a long time ago about the guy who wants to kill himself and his friends his case is better than his friend's case against it hmm I thought it was bad yeah it's dark but it's not bad yeah now you couldn't even do it I don't know you can't do anything now anyways what were you saying oh we

were talking about columbine but you we we we trailed off we digressed Colin Quinn was on the show he killed so good to see all these people back in the room everyone's watching everyone's laughing and then like huge pops for everybody it was so exciting and then I just had a great set Louis ripped it of course then went over to the olive tree and that one's a little bit the tough sledding up there yeah they got a plexiglass uh in front of you and the audience you know it's hard to connect with them it feels like an exhibit you're in a museum for comedy it's all very odd they know it's odd you know it's odd 88 people commented on it before you so you don't want to do it but it has to be addressed and uh I just can't wait till we can tear that

shit down it's all optics folks it really is because everyone's taking the risk being in there some rooms have it some rooms don't and it's it just doesn't make really much sense but hey whatever we have to do it'll be back to normalish but the thrill of being back was quickly thwarted because last night I bumped into you I was at the fat black and it's the worst show I've ever done in my life yeah it was like one of the worst bombs I've ever had ever one of those confusing bombs where you're like this stuff has worked a thousand times so I don't know what to do like I've given good stuff that's tried and true and if you don't like that what are we doing here right yeah I mean I was doing jokes last night they were getting like zero actually zero bits

that work like you said like working bits where nothing they weren't even aware that something had happened right isn't that fascinating how that can work this comedy it's much like banging where it's a lot about the vibe you know you bang one gal and she's like and then you bang another gal and she's like and you're like what the hell I'm doing my moves right the same dick the first girl sounded like a turkey I mean that was a dead-on turkey jive turkey I mean as he had the the turkey neck and I I I stuffed her yeah it's so weird to think about moves nowadays because I've been sleeping with the same woman for 10 full years now one decade wow that's a lot of plowing so I got no move it says here's your vibrator you know here's my dick sorry about

the rash and we all just get through it we kind of go to our own spaces if I had to do it over again if she died oh wow I mean I can't imagine I can't just be like here's my ex-wife's vibrator do your thing I have to do something well you figure it out that's the beauty of being with somebody as you learn the twists and the turns and the flips and the flaps the tricks of the trade I guess I have to knock down this rash so hopefully she doesn't die in the next couple days now let me ask you this there fatty because I don't know if this rings true or nuva rings true or whatever cats just stretching uh do you feel like you've because you've had sex with I don't know 11 women in your day 38 38 all right I shot low not bad that's that's with being with the same one for 10

years I had two other serious girlfriends for a couple years didn't start till I was 19 with herpes in the teeth I have that's pretty good that's pretty good with those ankles that's solid numbers but do you feel a difference from vagina sure there's tits are different the waist and the hips and the height and the hair and the breath and the asshole and the toes are different but you when you slide it into Jenny does it feel different than Kelly never fucked a Jenny or a Kelly but I fucked a Jimmy and I couldn't think of a Kelly that's what's something similar to Kelly Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny goes either ways sometimes that's true so do I but Kelly Slater I mean some you do I mean well here's the thing I guess it's it's an interesting question because the

pussy itself feels similar but the surroundings of the pussy I mean you fuck a fat woman it's going to feel a little bit different because and I did a lot of that there's like a there's a huge you know balloon there it's a big puffy where like the pussy hole's here and then it just goes out where some it's just some call that a foopa yes exactly or a gunt yes that's the worst weapon ever by the way uh a gunt control I'm gonna start that that organization but it is interesting because I feel like a vagina is pretty much you know it's cut and dry well actually you don't want yeah it's sliced and wet yes thank you like a like a deli meat but it's pretty similar but they they can tell Tom Dick and Harry a mile away they're like oh I know that guy oh that's tiny

barely feel him oh he's too big up that hurt my chest or whatever I wonder how much difference though I know because like there first of all every woman I've ever fucked her eyes were closed the entire time which is a little hurtful well she could be in heaven you know now I think she's picturing you know Marty Barron or something but sure she's got her eyes closed but the dick like how much first of all I think most dicks are similar sizes well it ranges I mean we're talking micro and then there's you know long dong silver or whatever of course but the majority of dicks I feel like are pretty pretty close within a half an inch and it's like how much really noticing I don't know I mean we I don't know lady on here call in if you're a whore

or just a lady but I think like a huge difference between me and LeBron James is going to be noticeable yes but a difference between you know me and Dan Natterman I imagine nobody's gonna know the difference none the wiser I guess I guess there's girth though there's there's circumsci and uncircumcised and this is the bend yeah the big bend bend it like Beckham so yeah I don't know again some guys go some guys take a hard right right Benjamin Button yes um I thought that movie was pretty good I liked it I was a PA on that movie oh that's right we talked about that talked about it um but yeah I don't know who knows because here's some women they're like oh I dated uh

Michael Jordan and then I dated Woody Allen after that you're like what how could you deal with the different uh piano leg and then then the matchstick but you know but I think a lot of it's clipped it's all clipped with these ladies clipped clipped short for clitoris or clitoris yeah clitoris which one do you say clitoris I say clitoris I think it's clitoris right I don't know either way it sounds like a dinosaur but anyways I think it's it's more a clit than anything because I think a finger is they love a finger they love a finger exactly so if a finger in a clit play gets you off then a tiny dick's not so bad I don't think yeah penetration is so weird because uh my ex was kind of like I'm all clipped like I barely have anything going inside right okay but then you're

with some girls that are like put it in and you're like all right and then if you don't put it in they're mad at you like they need that inside I think some of that's mental they like the mental thing of being plowed you know because also women love it when you tease when you put just a tip you put the head in and they like that it's a little funky business so yes tease is big so I think it's not that important so if you if you're out there and you're listening you got a little noodle piece of shit rigatoni dick yes have no fear just get your fingers in there a nice meaty finger and play with the clit get a vibrator and and I think a lot of it's dirty talk being nice I think the number one thing I really think this from what I've heard is dressing nice no that's not I'm

telling you already Fuqua have you ever seen him not with a smoke and hot brawn he's also a eight foot nine rich millionaire negro well he's I mean is he hot he looks like a philosopher after he's like a whatever he's average looking at best funny guy he's 58 years old sure he's funny he's a party guy I'm not I'm not crediting all with the clothes but I'm telling you I know women that aren't attracted to people that look like him that you know racist they're just like that's not my cup of tea sexually sure but this guy he dresses he's in a thousand dollars suit tailored to him I'm not saying dressing is nothing but you're saying it's number uno I don't think it's the uno top of the list with a bull I'm telling you I think it's high

because personality comes into play but you see a lot of fucking assholes that's true put on a nice jacket the double breasted suit you put on a vest and a well-fitting clothes I'm believe me I look at this I got pants that are 100 years old and nine inches too short I'm wearing the same sneakers I haven't changed hoodies in six months I nobody's barking at my tits I mean look you got a bit of cuck fin here but it's not that I don't think that hasn't I think there's cool this guy didn't give a fuck and it's also kind of more hetero you're screaming hetero here but what are you saying you what you're saying is the clothes still matter you're saying he doesn't give a fuck because the clothes are seeing the clothes clothes is bigger than face I disagree I'm telling you get some ladies

in here you know many photos of Brad Pitt out there he's got fatigues on his jeans are ripped his hair is disheveled he's got a scruffy going he's a he's got a shirt that says you know baby gap or whatever it is two things for every one of those photos there's two photos of him in a tux at the Oscars and a designer suit on a thing selling a shirt he's always dressed nice even unless he's dressed like that in a certain movie and you're pulling the hottest guy of all right I'm pulling we gotta go into the medium if we're doing a experiment sure you don't pull the obviously you know who's the guy who's the exercise guy that was fat with the hair fat with the hair Harvey Weinstein Richard okay Harvey Weinstein's better example Richard Geer Simmons Richard Simmons

I mean if you take Richard Simmons and put him in a Ted Baker no one's blowing them if you take Brad Pitt you put him in a garbage bag people are still gonna fuck him so there's the extremes you gotta go in the middle I'm telling you if I put on a nice suit which I do occasionally so I know I put on a suit for the late nights and I get emails going hey what are you doing after the show you fucking hunk of cheese interesting yeah interesting I'm telling you what this is big because these fat guys get laid because they wear a vest a vest I mean you know who else is wearing a vest the guy bringing the plane in with the glow sticks a vest is out the the valets were in a vest and the guy at the uh the Wendy's not a vet not that kind of vest I'm talking like a double

breasted suit a thing like a bullet and look at fucking women are into cops and firemen because it's a it's the outfit they want a stripper who's dressed as a cop I'm telling you they all even the most black lives matter fucking Molotov cocktail what's the group Tifa Tifa person these ladies they see a cop they may hate them and want to throw paint in his face right because he beat a guy but they're like it's a little bit sexy I don't know I'm telling you I'm telling you I'm saying clothes matter but I don't think black clothes matter but I don't think it's the full kitten caboo I don't think that's that's 13th on the list if you ask me no it ain't 13 it's one or two no clothes make the man it's an old saying clothes make the man I agree but hey tell that to a trans person look

at Des Bishop you see that guy you go holy shit good looking guy who dresses well also he is very handsome I think personality I think vibe your general vibe your your personality you know just who you are and what you've accomplished your how successful you are how much you get done but reputation represent how successful you are it's all comes back to the clothes and I'm not saying it's everything I'm not saying it's everything but how successful you are you look at a guy look he's got a hole in them gene look at this motherfucker you think you're asking me out dressed like that you got to have the perfect fit the jeans call in ladies please call it call in Quinn we only got 11 women listening to the show but yeah well 10 after this yeah I don't

know I think clothes are something but I don't know if it's it's uno that's all I'm saying what would you say is uno I would go personality slash type he's this type he's tall dark and handsome he's a funny guy he's an intelligent guy he's an ambitious guy he's a wall street guy see that's a that's this is this is no good for this debate because your name and four things I know I'm throwing things out there I think all those matter more than clothes okay all right all right this is interesting I'm looking forward to hearings I wish your lady was still I know I know but she's she's gonna feel bad and go oh that thing and point to me right but you know you got a nice jacket every once in a while you put on the new the lj the lj yeah maybe I haven't seen much of that

since the debut no I couldn't I wore it on Friday for the big opening and uh two people commented on it and I burned into fire here's the last thing I'll say because you know I dress like a douche and you dress whatever and but when we do a late night yes what are half those comment when you post the photo before the late night half those whoa nice duds look at this can't believe it you clean up nice right they notice people notice and they want to talk about it they get a little turned on and by the way clothes are huge for me with the lady you see your lady come out with the dress with the slit and the heels you're like with women with women I think it's bigger men can get by with a t-shirt and jeans and look all right I think a woman with the fashion and those wacky hats and

the cloak and the the slits and the tears and the cleave and the shoulder I'm all 100 in but here's the thing again t-shirt and jeans but they got to be right size t-shirt and jeans that's true because you got a Tasmanian devil t-shirt down to the knees people go on the yikes I wouldn't fuck him with a stolen dick I got the perfect example to back me up I know who you're thinking Soder that's who I was thinking he's a hunk of a man he's got a deep voice he's tall he's funny he's talented he's on eight HBO shows he's cooking a movie up he's doing weed whatever it is he dresses like an eight-year-old retarded skateboarder right and they all comment on that because he's so talented and funny it trumps the clothes but he's got all there you go but he's got all those packages combined

if he was fat and ugly and retarded I'm staying a fat ugly idiot with a suit on is doing as well as this guy that has all these talents but bad clothes I disagree the fat ugly idiot is is in a three-piece suit and it's obvious like this guy's such a loser he's got to do the suit to compensate he stinks let me think of someone Patrick Stewart we just talked about him he won sexiest man alive the gay guy with the bald suit was that the patreon or was that the regular app I can't remember I don't know but he's on a tv show he's wearing he's wearing a uniform he's the captain of the enterprise that's all that's a bad example exactly he's got the uniform the uniform is big if I walk around with this fucking captain of the enterprise suit all I'm getting tackled at comic con

clothes are big clothes are big so first of all sodas attractiveness blows my mind he's got a crooked haircut his head's too big for his body his voice he sounds retarded his act is wonderful he makes some money I think you're all off on the ladies he's uh he's masculine he's tall he's kind of uh wide-shouldered he's uh charming he's on he's funny he's quippy that's all it is it's a vibe he's got a vibe even if he was ugly in the face they'd go something about him when I say something about him even when women have dreams they go the guy had no face he fucked me in the ass it was great I didn't even know what he looked like maybe confidence is the biggest confidence might be the biggest that might be it all right we can agree on that confidence might be number one but clothes

number two I don't know about telling you clothes is big all right well we've done a half an hour on on threads here all right all right well I just thought we made a good point I thought it was pretty compelling it was compelling a lot of tweets are gonna be about this clothes I'll tell you that right ladies tweet in email send us some clothes whatever you want you know it's nice about this is this has been so wide reaching and um what's that thing debated uh what's the word debated contentious that it'll drown out all the controversy of the the muslim palestinians no one will even mention it by the way muslims horrible dressers no I don't know some of those guys I guess the ladies they do okay the ladies have to wear the garb or whatever yeah the sorry

what's that I think it's a sorry that's a board game ah go I thought it was called a sorry I don't know as he's in sorry it gives out a goog I don't know check it out not sure either oh my god sorry's in a sack oh jeez sorry we got ads sorry I hope they're clothes I know that'd be nice all right folks oh what what's the point of wearing clothes if you don't have good deodorant yes here here Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by native deodorant I love need native deodorant excuse me they just sent us a another box of deodorant and this stuff is so good I'm wearing it right now of course as always I wear it every morning so does my wife native deodorant is formulated with no aluminum oh pair of man's or talc it's vegan and never tested on animals they have

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rose you can also get coconut and vanilla that's the most popular and uh cucumber and mint citrus and herbal musk whatever you like get on it folks there's also plastic free option if you want want to cut down on your plastic consumption hell yeah we use too much native now offers a plastic free deodorant in the most popular scent to something for everybody make the switch to native today by going to nativedo.com slash stories that's that's nativedo.com slash stories at checkout and get 20% off your first order nativedo.com slash stories or use promo code stories at checkout for 20% off your first order get on it folks yeah do it today Tuesdays the stories is also brought to you by Raycon we love Raycon these are some of the best earbuds

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about it all the time eat it so what what else is going on please well because my throat hurts I come all over the place well that closed talk we got pretty hot and bothered but a closed talker yes so I just gotta say I had a fun I had a fun save with a with a gig you know me I'm a disorganized I actually got a lot of emails from assistants after we talked about that I must have gotten 30 emails like let me do it I'll do it for free I'm gay I'll blow you whatever you want like I'm I've been doing you know Zuckerberg's numbers since 88 I can do you too Alec Baldwin's assistant hit me up what no joke she's like I'm quitting Alec he's a psycho and yells at me so if you need a guy and I'm like I can never afford you wow yeah you're thinking

about it are you dabbling what's going on here I'm dabbling I'm dabbling maybe I'll try but I almost feel like it's a lot of work having the assistant a weird way because I gotta go here's all my shit here's all my passwords here's what I need here's what so all that time I've explained I could have just booked the flight I think that's it for the beginning but then it's good I guess it takes a while to train it's like having a dog or a girlfriend once you get them trained it's then it's easy sailing right right yeah well my manager quit and then somebody were somebody suggested hey why don't you go without a manager for 10 minutes get an assistant they do all the the management shit anyway why not pay this guy yay ho and pay and stop paying them 10% of your whole kitten caboo

and see what happens exactly I gotta say I feel for these managers I know it does feel like a lot of their job is becoming a little less needed yes yes the patreon and things obsolete yes and we know a couple guys who have had some dicey guests and said even way crazier shit than us and you're like you're all in on this this internet thing this podcast thing this patreon thing the self-produced pirate ship thing and I don't know how I feel about it where what do you think wow this might be more of a patreon all right I mean this could get spicy and dicey and licey yeah get on the patreon folks but um yeah that seems to be the direction things are going because you know I mean what are we gonna do get a job working for Disney they'll they'll sniff us out and throw us out in about 10 minutes

oh yeah there's a couple guys out there who would just nip that in the anal reel too sweet but either way I'll get back to all these assistants it's a lot of emails it's a lot to to mull over you need an assistant to look at the assistant emails exactly I'm screwed here so basically I'm figuring it all out but I got an email from the University of Pittsburgh nice little letterhead and I got ahead and the whole thing and panthers oh is that right yeah ah black panthers so I go they go hey we want to have you on a zoom thing it's a pretty penny and I go great so they go also uh do you know an opener and I said how about Gary Veter and they said all right let me watch his stuff I never heard of them I said no one has and then they checked it out they're like he's perfect

so he'll do 50 minutes he gets a nice paycheck I got a hot paycheck because I'm the headliner 45 minutes of zoom ain't a picnic no I've done it and it is an unpleasant situation it's it's not lunch you're bombing in your own home like an idiot you blow through 45 in about eight minutes yeah everybody's checking their phone nobody likes you they're muted one guy's going he's like too close to the camera you know yeah it's bad it's bad so but the money's good so I say let's do it cha chi I'm in then I get an email from another guy and he goes looking forward to having you on Thursday it's sold out and I go oh sold out that's good but what the hell there University of Pittsburgh is Thursday so I go well it's a zoom it's probably like five you know you can put a

zoom anytime and he go I call the guy I go hey what times is uh Pittsburgh zoom he goes it's at nine o'clock hang up on him hey dickless what times the uh this sold out show nine o'clock come on oh boy so I go how am I gonna pull this off so I go hey Pittsburgh how about we move that show to five you know who cares it's zoom and he goes it's already all over the Bolton boards the kids are having a pep rally uh schools in session we had a shooting we need you at nine I was like ah so I call the other guy go hey dickless sloppy jalopy how about we move this puppy to to 11 he goes tickets are sold we can't move it now it's a week away I hate you you suck you're a hack and I go ah god so I go how do you do this to yourself I don't know I did this every week with this every

week I want to kill myself and cut my dick off and feed it to the cat I wish you could see it it's like the cat knows to stay out of frame it's like terrifying the first of all it rolled over at some point it was facing this way and it touched my shoe I'm still shaking and now it flipped over I know we're yelling racial slur of his full volume he's like it's like a lullaby oh he woke up oh boy all right so I go how am I gonna get out of this one what's how's how's how am I gonna pull this one off there sloppy so I call back the because the money's so good with pitsey I got a cancel sold out I mean that's just the brakes yeah sorry sold out yeah and so he goes how about this and I go yeah and he goes what if you got to do this zoom what if we do my show film it live

stream it to Pittsburgh at exactly the right time they get a real show instead of just me on a laptop like an idiot and they get a hot show here an audience members like they get a ticket to a hot show that's sold out via zoom wait you're shut the other show's in person yes I see so you're going to perform live they're gonna film it and then shove it up they're gonna stream it right to pitsey what Pittsburgh's not gonna go for this that's what I said so I call up Pittsburgh I'm shaking go hey buddy I got one last idea and he goes uh he already hates me because I'm calling him nine times sure baby in the background he's hitting his wife so he goes uh yeah yeah what do you got I go ah this other guy's an idiot he's got some crazy scam where he wants to live stream it right

to the Pittsburgh auditorium and he goes that's pretty good and I go are you kidding he's like yeah I love that how are we gonna do it and I said well why don't you call him because I don't want to deal with this shit anymore so he calls him they work it all out what so it worked I mean they filmed it and had it on the zoom next week what's coming up it's this Thursday is this gonna work though because the college you gotta be clean as a queef you gotta really go hey and then this show it's gonna be live and you're gonna have to clean it up the people in person are gonna be like what the hell is this we don't want a college normand oh we want raw crazy norm right right raw crazy nor rcn yeah all right well I didn't think about that but the guy's gonna get he's gonna get the

20 minutes of Jew Puerto Rican and anal material I'm sorry Pitsey but this is it that's the breaks so are you doing the same amount of time on both shows well here's the clinker I was supposed to do 30 in Long Island the sold out show and this guy's paying me to do 45 so I said hey can I do an extra 15 free of charge he goes yeah I'm getting more time from you so great wow boy this is really interesting I mean you gotta keep us updated here because this would really be some kind of thing to pull this out like live aid yes you're Freddie Mercury I got AIDS yes so here's the other rub though they go the the Pittsburgh guy goes well how are we gonna are we gonna zoom vader because we want an opener are we gonna zoom vader and then click over to the live and I go sure because I don't know

anything how does this work I mean is all this are you guys able to do this apparently the guy in Long Island some kind of tech nerd Asian queef he knows all about the wires and the hookups and the digital this is mind blowing I know this I mean you're Zach Morris I'm Zach Morris I got eight phones going I've got one arm on my shoulder I got this I'm emailing people at all all locked in so then this is the only everything's locked in this is the only problem they can't do the zoom with vader and then click over to me so I go ah well we don't need vader I'll just give him the money or whatever and he goes could you get vader to Long Island and I go hmm I call up vader he's the sweetest easiest most non-confrontational low maintenance guy on the planet and I go

I tell him the whole story and he goes yeah I'll do it it was like the deaf chick okay I'll do it exactly exactly I'll do it yeah so he's like yeah whatever I'll drive so now I got vader driving we're gonna go out there I'll get drunk and we'll steal some food we'll do this fucking live aid and then we'll drive back wow if you guys pull this off I mean that would be unbelievable by the way I gotta say if I was both these guys I'd be so frustrated with this whole situation they're all excited this is like a caper unbelievable I mean I mean it's exciting and God bless vader I just love that son of a bitch and speaking of the deaf woman that's another thing that's on the patreon we did a new uh Seinfeld watch along with this guy uh Chuck D Chuck Stanton

Chuck Knoblock yes he shot a three-camera shoot of us watching Seinfeld and he's slicing it all together so that's gonna be something so guys a pro he's a whiz with this stuff we're trying to kick up the quality a little bit so check it out folks get on the patreon and by the way this episode is also brought to you by manscaped you gotta keep yourself looking nice we talked about it earlier you gotta look nice and your clothing and you want to shave up your pubes and your bushes yes so get yourself some manscaped our partners at manscape specialize in products just for your dick and balls get yourself trimmed up with manscaped precision tools for your family jewels it starts with the lawnmower 3.0 trimmer thanks to their ceramic blade and advanced skin

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trim there my assholes you know covered in covered in hair looks like I'm sitting on a Bob Ross down there so get that puppy ASAP and you get the ball wipes you get the smells and all that stuff the lady even uses the ball wipes she's got huge balls 20 off with free shipping by going to manscape.com slash Tuesdays that's 20 off with free shipping by going to manscape.com slash Tuesdays manscape with a D at the end tell them you know us they'll help you out yeah tell them we sent you yes I never knew what that meant when they would always say that on the radio tell them the big show sent you or whatever oh yeah am I supposed to say that when I what there was more of that I think back that was like a cool ego like a macho thing tell them uh Big Joe sent you there was no codes back

then because there was no internet so I think they just want to be like say my name and so then they'll they'll know it's working or whatever say my name is remember Groupon that was I had a moment I never used it yeah I never never used anything like that I've never used Groupon or uh the other thing what's there's another thing like that I think it still happens yeah none of that stuff I'm such a fucking idiot yeah it's all out there but here's the here's the thing though I feel like you're you're using that stuff you're spending all this time feeling it out and signing in logging in to Groupon and printing shit out yeah we would have been all done by now the you're wasting time which is money and then you're saving 11 cents in the long run but you spent the eight hours on it yeah

I never get it I don't care and uh I'd rather just just pay it I don't give a shit right right fucking yeah I mean look uh travel miles great credit card points great but Groupon I don't know feels a little my mom was the the the skank at the grocery store going hang on I got a coupon for those cucumbers you're like oh god she was all she looks like Edward Scissorhand every Saturday morning cutting she had a little red thing and it was like organized like cereal whatever the fuck socks and she had a whole book full yeah but looking back it was sweet it's like blue color I gotta save it all ends up in that kind of bullshit but yeah I mean my mom we would go every Saturday we would circle with a big red marker we'd pull out the newspaper circle the garage sales near us

and then we would drive to one that was very wholesome and good bonding with the mom yeah because you get to go hey look at this uh old dildo it's like eight eight cents and she's like well why not try it yeah my mom loves bondage but yes do you remember uh I think I already talked about this before but uh Rosie O'Donnell in the leather suit in that movie another stakeout yes we talked about it not a fan I jerked off to that oof today scraping the barrel with old Rosie huh that was a tough look I mean she's not a real peach I mean she played for the Georgia peaches in league of their own but I liked her they had a the top of the tit was exposed yeah that's something I liked I'm not a big fan of thick unless it's like this powery yeah man heels and leather

yeah beat you up I get it I got you you want a little domination sure why not yeah let me eat my own calm on a Wednesday you know when I was a kid I liked they always had the uh St. Pauli gal like beer wench whore you know who's like had the mugs and the what do you call it pony tails pony tails the mugs and the jug but there was always like a a propping hey that's a good name for a bar mugs and jugs and it's like big women bringing the thing right it's like a like a twin peaks yes or Hooters or Hooters which feels to be fizzling out Hooters stinks I never liked it I always describe there's one guy in comedy I always describe as he's the kind of guy that thinks Hooters is cool like he's like he picks you up he's like we're going to Hooters and you're

like all right I guess right right I walk I walk by one and I don't know where I was Houston Dallas and it just feels weird it's like dingy and the windows are blacked out and and then the gals I have to say of the quality ain't as high no I think if you want to make real money you just go strip or you post photos on Instagram I think Instagram might be fucking Hooters the only fans exactly yeah good point remember we were on only fans for a minute that was pretty fun we got to get back we got we got paid handsomely yeah I think so well it was you know for us it wasn't bad yeah but hey speaking of uh money and only fans get on the Patreon folks we're making changes over there as we mentioned three camera shoots we got something we shot in the street we went to Chipotle

and we shot that oh yeah that's all coming out Chuck Knoblock and we watched a sign fell with three cameras so I think I already mentioned this I'm an idiot but make sure you get on there the cat keeps rolling over it's well it's getting comfy it's interesting I've never seen it this relaxed and comfortable I think you got a thing cooking with the cat maybe you got a good aura uh maybe with the clothes aha they make the man um so I did a gig Saturday with uh Greg Stone old Coraluzzo one nighter Bridgeport Connecticut I love these gigs Saturday 67 minutes away with traffic yes one show 45 minutes back I pick them up in the Sentra it's so exciting he's driven me to so many gigs it felt nice to pick him up yes and it was like the old days you know we're in the car he's

got the coffee I swoop him up and we're just bullshitting about god and life and death and gaze whatever having a nice time we drive up there and it's a beautiful theater thousand seat theater max 300 seats okay they gotta do every other row spread it out six feet that kind of thing is this an agent gig or do you find this puppy my agent okay even better stop agent hate I mean they came to me in my age whatever so we go to the gig a couple days before they're like tickets are a little light you know it's COVID and your career sucks so we're thinking about moving you to the smaller room but this in this case the smaller room seats 80 maxes out at 40 so I'm like great I'll do 40 in a room that seats 80 as opposed to 50 in a room that seats a thousand for god's

thanks like that that long beach gig we did it had 300 then we popped it down to 60 and the 60 was better you in long beach motherfucker so I'm like I'm all excited yeah I got an email the next day that I promoted it again they're like now you're oversold too many for the small room okay we gotta go to the big room so it feels like a win yeah but now you got 78 tickets sold in a thousand theater right and they're sitting every other row and six feet apart so it's just like a sprinkle it looks like you know you put a little salt on your asshole sure that doesn't pucker so we get there and it's Greg and I and I've done a few gigs and inside splitters whatever the whole thing and I'm like so yeah this is the gig it's the school we started to do this we want to do

that that's how we came to be here you get the story of the gig and I go so what are we looking for for time nice easy and these like more than area we want at 90 minutes or longer oh and there's two of us oh no and if I had known I would have brought three guest spots and I'm like 90 minutes and he's like I'm thinking 30 35 for you he says to Greg which I'm like you know what you're open to doing 35 minutes I mean tired after the whole shit show yeah I mean it's just a long time for one guy the if 35 minutes with three or four people is great because it's guest by it's a new person yes yes but when you watch the same person for 35 minutes you get to know him you're into that yes rhythm that feeling yes so he does 35 he looks at me he's like 60 60 plus oh my hour specials

not an hour I don't want to do an hour I'm like I have 45 50 minutes I haven't done in an hour since my special which was 55 minutes yes and that was a hot packed comedy club this is a spread out sprawling anal and that was at the end of like 20 straight weeks on the road training like a fighter building up to the special yes this is like I got my feet up all day I'm over here jerking off with my shoe in my ass yeah and uh you know I'm watching basketball and share around I haven't done even when I went to side splitters I did 35 because I had fat Louis with me and Sarah and an mc so I was coasting with 35 must be do an hour this guy yeah 35 is so much closer to a headliner than it is to a feature right you're in that but you're already in that window now

so uh it was a little ugly I mean I had to do an hour for and by the way like I said huge I'm at Radio City Music Hall with the list family well what do you think was two hundo in there max those 78 people 78 there was fucking 925 empty seats and I'm doing 60 minutes not the tv show more boring oh tick tick tick tick tick tick tick that's how I felt and it was one of those ones where you're like yeah so that's how that bit goes let me see oh uh our school bus is funny I'm doing that thing and I'm looking at the clock I'm like you gotta be shitting me I mean it was brutal but are you getting titters or some tits a couple pussies a couple cocks I mean there was some big laughs but you know what I did was I did too many lines where I'm like

boy this is my career's shit I got nothing because they start to believe you they start to go yeah well that one they start heckling and shit it's not a joke anymore at first like oh my agent sucks yeah this is crazy and then after the 13th one they're like yeah your agent sucks and you suck yeah we got a little rough but there was a few Tuesdays there I gotta thank you guys and ultimately it was fun and afterwards Greg and I were like that was crazy was that all right should we kill ourselves are you fine should we kiss so we did sure well that stone's a good egg and a hell of an opener oh yeah he's hilarious I'm one of the funniest guys ever then we're driving back we stopped at mcdonald's it felt like the old days we're like in mcdonald's we're sitting there with

the only two there and we're talking about comedy I'm gonna do this I need to do that this is where I need to improve that bit's funny this is a good premise felt like the classic old days he's putting his fries in his burger which is always weird to me great time good gig where I'm happy to be back you know we're doing a gig tonight city winery the seller's back when do we send the veils what do we send the veils Friday's oh jeez yeah oh well I didn't do it again I forgot boy they gotta send out a reminder now I know we sent them out on Sunday it's all loosey goosey but you missed that anyway we used to send them out on Sunday did we yeah yeah Sunday veils yeah that's it's been so long up text Liz it's weird but let me ask you though by the way those kind of gigs how

was the um producer was she pissed no he was happy I think he was happy I couldn't tell but he's an old friend I knew he used to work at city steam years ago good guy good egg he's gonna start doing these so you should do it at some point hopefully it'll all open back up all right it's a beautiful theater it's a real theater theater huge a big production thing money okay money was great all right yeah it's probably more than I deserve but uh great great time highly recommend and uh all kinds of dates coming up I'm coming home off money bone April 23rd and 24th not a cheap flight anymore no those flights really kicked up a notch and uh May 15th paramount theater in Austin and keep an eye out for that and an ear out for some podcasting

and um ooh that was direct nipple all right I still got it and uh what else do we get going on something else Kansas City and Des Moines in May or June I think Kansas City and Des Moines Skankfest is that happening I don't know if that's announced I don't know either Skankfest is a thing that happens sometimes sure fun thing big thing but that'll be something and uh I don't know what else check out Joe and Ron on talk movies Louis on it was exciting and check out mindful metal jacket I had a bunch of doctors and scientists on I've been taking some swings on some real guests oh good tired of talking to comics comics is stupid they're idiots and also these doctors are they're bored at home they got nothing to do and they want they find it flattering and they got

like 4 000 followers they're like oh my god they get back to you right away the comics are like how many people listen how many subscribers you get so I got some real deal guests in there go check that out hit my youtube and uh fuck your mother oh and Sarah's youtube special what she recorded her album at New York County Club she filmed it she's releasing it on youtube it goes live Friday 9 p.m on youtube go subscribe watch it leave a nice comment work that algorithm the way we do I got a post about that I had no I didn't even know this is happening please do this is not happening yes it's a youtube premiere Friday 9 p.m like what we did exactly all right what's like you got a title I think voluptuous boy same as the album cool all right good get on there

get on it I'm also at the paramount this weekend and uh yeah a lot of stuff cooking in uh Salt Lake City Miami improv uh uh Houston I think and other stuff Connecticut uh Hartford Rhode Island down the line Boston down the line all kinds of fun stuff Spokane Tacoma so check the website check the tweets check the insta hit uh check out me and Sam's pod and uh yeah how's that water is it is it horrible it smells like uh oregano or something like a pizza sauce twice with the oregano it's strange damn it I don't know what it is but oh go ahead oh wow no that's it so yeah check all that out check out our specials uh check out sarah's and brazil on the patreon blow your ant patreon also grand pig all right george is saying cut it got it