Tuesdays with Stories! - #397 Fart Path

Episode Date: April 20, 2021

It's a fart & feline filled ep as Mark heads to SoulJoel's for shows before getting a late night second vaccine shot while Joe prepares for his big role in a short film. Check it out! Check out our new merch here! Shirts, stickers, phone cases, mugs, you name it! https://www.teepublic.com/user/tuesday-s-with-stories Sponsored by: BLUBlox (blublox.com/tuesdays), Feals CBD (feals.com/tuesdays), ExpressVPN (expressvpn.com/tuesdays), & Sunday Custom Lawn Plans (getsunday.com/tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays

Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by blue blocks. This is a great new sponsor folks. Last time we talked to you We talked to you about blue blocks amazing sleep masks. It's almost illegal. How good this stuff is hey Now we're here to tell you about their light filtering glasses. It's pretty cool first up sleep plus Get yourself some red lenses for true blue and green light blocking to use after sundown and then you get your sleep Mask get a sleep mask. Then we go clear blue light lens filter blue light during the day Chances are you spend the work day in front of a computer or in an office with artificial light and cut down on headaches and I strain with clear blue glasses They look just like regular glasses and we have the summer glow which mark is showing off yellow lenses

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Slash Tuesdays that's B. L. U. B. L. O. X dot-com Slash Tuesdays for 20% off blue blocks dot-com slash Tuesdays and use promo code Tuesdays for 20% off Help your eyeballs today folks. That was pretty cool. Yeah. All right everybody. Here we go Hey mark fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do great good to be here. Welcome to Tuesdays with stories Hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag Surf's up And she didn't even flush

Knock knock who's there? Mark Norman and Joe list. Yeah Tuesdays with stories everybody. Yeah, that's terrible. This is supposed to be cheesy My Welcome to Tuesdays with stories. It's another Tuesday. I can't even believe it these days are just flying by Oh, yeah, well, we're back on the road again and the world seems to be opening up I've gotten eight shots people in Minneapolis got shots. So yeah, things are cooking again. Yeah, 46 shots Or what was the the Bruce Springsteen 42 shots 51 shots 21 guns salute now was something about 40 48 shots or 41 shots. That's it. Ah, it's about a native American

I think who shot 41 times or maybe he's black. I can't remember Jesus. That's a lot of shooting I mean, I think it was dead after the first 14. Well, it's like sunny bono there on the causeway Corleone. I meant to say They shoot them a bunch of times and I guess the reasoning was sunny was so tough and strong They wouldn't leave him Chance they really blow the snot out of me keeps doing that thing where he's walking around a bunch That was a little much. It's a little silly, but any jazz and he did survive right now. He died. Ah, he's dead Look what they did to my boy right veto survive veto shot six times They hit him with five shots and he's still alive five. I guess it is yes

Anyways, don't worry the cat sniffing it won't lick or bite the cat is scary I don't know if it's in the shot or not. I'm afraid of it hitting the thing here. Pardon me Anything you move he he's there like a t-rex. It's all movement. Oh, he thinks it's a toy Well, I guess it's not gonna I'm just where he's gonna hit the button that speeds our voices up And all of a sudden we're talking like this, you know, yeah, no, no, we're good It's a very gentle come guzzler there. He's a hell of a puss But I think the ears pointed up doesn't that mean that they're angry or gay or something gay? Maybe I think you'll you'll know if something this is this is chill mode

But hey, we don't want to do a cat pod. What do we do the divorcee women? Yeah, what is it with the ladies the cats and why is it such a bad? What's that word? moniker Cameron my Chandler I wanted to say Monica and Phoebe. No, what is it? Well, what's that? Why is it such a bad? Omen or no when you a bad Face a bad. What's it called bad? Look bad boy bad egg

When you the idea of a woman with cats is considered like shitty. She's like flag Now, I mean red flag works, but there's a Fuckin this is one of those where people are screaming at us. Yeah, I don't know this one red bad Why is it? Why is it such a blank to be a lady with cats? Uh-huh It's a bad I think it's bad because it's always like 11 cats. So something's something's off here. You got one two, maybe More than that though. You're getting in the hoarder territory

But I think even one is this thing this thing cat lady this cat lady. She's a cat lady heads up You know, but I know a lady who's it was single and beautiful and smart and funny and just has one cat That's cool because she knows whatever but you know, you're always afraid that you're gonna be known as like this kooky cat lady But this is cool lady, but I think guys come over You know they come out and she's like I got a wine and they're like up. She's got wine. She's got a cat She's a psycho. I don't know. Yeah a couple cats five cats, you know, that's it's almost like a Cuomo You know, you get you get a one or two ladies going. Hey, what's up with this guy? But then you get nine of them and you're like something's up here, right cats

I suppose so but Yeah, I don't know. So I'm just saying that the cat ladies should be I Can't think of these words free of Stigma stigma. Why is it so stigmatized? Yes, that's it. Why is it so stigmatized to be a lady with a cat? I think one is fine. One is fine. One's okay one two. I'd give you but I think any animal you got 19 pigs and 14 geese And a chicken coop something's up. Well 19 pigs was me in my 20s That's the Joe list story Yeah, I ain't going who's the genuinely no need to tell a tall tale or a wide tale

Just give me the regular the goods the the straightforward juice Fattest girl you ever fucked because I feel like you fuck some thick ones I saw one that came showed up at the cellar one time. Is that right? Yeah, and I remember thinking it was a big moment for me In our relationship I think we were talked about this because there was a time where you were single and mingling Oh, yeah, big mingle and you fucked over here and you fucked over there and I thought you know, I assume you're a good-looking guy You're fun. You're funny. You're handsome. Whatever. I'm gay obviously sure I was like, oh man

He must be really taking down some hot numbers and then we're at the cellar and this lady showed up and said oh my god Mark and you know, she was touching your leg. Mmm, and I thought what's going on here? Who's this? You know hockey goalie sure her linebacker She looked like Goldberg the goalie and all of a sudden you're like I slept with this girl and it really made me think boy Maybe he's not killing it out there. Well, I don't discriminate when it comes to the ways of the gash I mean, I can find beauty in all kinds of hogs, you know, whether it's a Shetland pony or a moose, you know, so I Dabbled in every country every genre every race and every size. Yeah, okay

It was it was nice because I did it did open up I was like maybe this guy, you know, he really cares about the little people and the big people Aha, that's a good point. Nobody cares about the big big is a big is not getting them a lot Well, they're doing in the magazines. Yeah, they put the big cunt on there and they say oh, wow, she's crazy She's brave or whatever, which is nice But I want a little cred because I'm like hey I was fucking girls way bigger than this that were like missing teeth and had little mustache on either side Oh, I know about the little double Hitler. Yes, exactly the Hitler spread

Horrible sandwich But Any jizz because as people know I think we told the story years ago with Tom Dustin was on I fuck in Plattsburg I fucked a woman who was 300 pounds if she was a foot and she only had one foot from diabetes I mean she was wild She was big like Texas and it was really ugly and she cracked the bathroom tiles and she blew me on the toilet It was really a wild situation meanwhile. Tom was having sex with an older lady. Aha, who was a grandmother. So that was A young grandmother like she had a kid when she was 15 and she had a kid when she was 11 or whatever

Yikes, and that was all at the same time and so that was like I got like a legendary big one Now do you have how big are we talking? Oh, I've had some some some Rosie O'Donnell's to John Panette Like I've had some gals. I had to put on a string and take a photo I mean it was it was a humdinger one time being of a pal of mine We would go to these bars and just dance in the on the dance floor until like you end up rubbing up against the lady And then you go you go home with her. That was the old way Back before the the tenders and the apps and he got this tall cuppa jizz beautiful just fair-haired

Scooke and I had to take the friend home because I was trying to be a pal and we banged him in the same room Oh boy, and I got I was watching him plow skinny Mini. Well, I had old Louis Anderson on the floor and it was tough, but There there is something too Plumpy because they give and they love it and they appreciate it and there's something fun about that that leg that starts Wide at the base and then just thins out to the ankle because the ankle is always relatively thin so you get that right? You know parking. Oh, yeah, exactly. Yes safety cone But boy, it sounds like you were you know fishing for women at the improv the A&E is improv

Because you got Louis Anderson Rosie O'Donnell and fucking Wolfson whatever that guy's name will blitzer. Well all my comics. Oh, no wait What's that guy's name Wolfberg Wolfberg Dennis Dennis Wolf? Yes, apparently he murdered by the way like the biggest killer ever And yeah, he blew you in 91. Yeah. Yeah, the the whiskers on that wolf were tough the fangs, but All I know is calm. That's all my references So I gotta I gotta branch out and do some some actors or athletes, but Anyways, yeah, it was those were fun days, but yeah. Yeah, what's your feeling on like a pregnancy porn? You ever dabble in there you ever go into that caught it on accident. You know, hey big bitch

Whatever's here like let me click on this and I didn't know there was a fetus in there. I thought it was just a Plump lady, you know It starts to smooth out it looks different because one hangs and one Sticks out protrude. Yes, exactly, but I don't care for it. I worry about the child. I'm against child abuse I don't want to see the mom getting hurt and I worry about the water breaking Well, that's what made me think of it. I was talking to my buddy yesterday a friend of a I'm talking to a friend, but he's got a friend. Yeah, whose wife is pregnant and she's you know, whatever 52 weeks or 46 48 hours another 48 hours, whatever the time is

Mm-hmm. What's nine months times with 36 weeks? I guess. Ah, is that right nine times four is 36. That's pretty good Yeah, so whatever it is he Was like he's trying to have this baby and it's overdue or whatever and the doctor said the best way to do it It's gonna sound crazy or it's gonna sound like we're college buddies But you got to let your husband fuck the shit out of you because that'll induce labor You got to just fucking fucking fuck. So this guy's like living on the high horse over here. He's like you got it He's poppin blue shoes and fucking his wife up the ass until Christmas

And you know, he's like maybe if you blew me that might help a lot. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That helps with Inducing labor getting her pregnant. No, no using labor. She's like she's nine months pregnant, but he won't come out It's yeah, it's just sitting in there. You know, it's it's got a home and a lamp and a book And so the doctor says if you get that dick far enough in there Scare the kid and scared the kid will dive out. I guess I don't know the exact science Interesting. It seems like the kid would crawl up higher like oh Jesus. This cock's coming at me That would be fun if you your tit blows up and the fetus is in the tit. Yeah Yeah, there's something a cartoon at least I want to make that please

Wow, that's a hell of a duck. Yeah, but sounds like It sounds like the best doctor ever I wish you know if my wife went in said I need a check. He's like you need to be fucked to get your blood pressure down Yeah, and I like the idea of the wife going. I got a headache. He's like hey, hey with the doctor ordered Exactly. I got a prescription here. Yeah, did you ever hear about evidently? I heard this I don't know if this is real, but this might be a me to whatever fake I don't know, but I heard a story about I think you could go to jail for this But Maxim magazine or one of these guy magazines

They put a fake article on one page Of the magazine there was like an ad on one side for cigarettes or whatever and on the other page It was like a well-written article that made it it made it look like a Cosmo Said anal is good for you Wow Something so so guys could rip it out and send it and bring it to their wife and be like hey look I found this article in Cosmo or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, and it was an article by you know, Dr. Van Nosteren or whatever. Hey if anal sex is really good for your metabolism. It helps you lose weight. I think that was

So I don't know if that's true, but I heard about that and I was like that's pretty ingenious Diabolical. Yeah, cuz every lady wants to lose weight and you know if Cosmo says it I'll try it and I've always thought about it and it has perks bodily for perks So I'm in you need perks if you want anal Percocets. Yeah, but let me ask you this there fatty. What would you prefer? And I'll pick one We're talking an older lady We'll say 60 okay or fat

The young fat old pretty what do you pick at this point? I'd go old pretty because First of all, I did the fat that I did the damn thing. I fucked all fat all the time I mean, I was that I was a heavy hitter. Yeah That was my thing people thought it was my thing But really I just had very low self-esteem no offense to the fat ladies out there Well, it's what you could get, you know, it was you got the goose where it was given exactly so and you know And it was fun. I'm sound like an asshole here. You know you've had people or people and whatever But we're talking sexual preference here. Yeah, which is interesting cuz some sexual preferences are offensive

But some are brave. Isn't that weird? I love that. Yeah, like sometimes you feel like yeah, I really like You know thigh-high Nylons and heels and a girl to crawl on her hands and knees. That's my thing people like you're a piece of shit and asshole I know I don't get that but if you're like I love men And I'm a man. That's like good for you. I proud of you I have a bit about like my gay friends like I like muscular men and I'm like I like thin women Everybody's like you're an asshole and I'm like, well, how come he can have one and he could be shallow, but I can't yeah It's very strange. It doesn't make sense, but here's what I've got it

Boil it down to this that women take all that personally Like, you know, if a woman goes I like a tall guy, I gotta go Oh, well sucks for me, but if I go I like a thin lady. They go, hey fuck you and I'm like Well, why am I an asshole? You like you can lose weight. I can't gain height. Yeah, and it's a weird thing because you're like Well, I'm not saying I am superior to these yeah, I'm saying that's what I like to have sex with right I don't so I don't quite understand. I'm into Thin women and and a lot of times people will come back with that of like well, you know, whatever and I'm like, I know Yeah, well first of all, I didn't name a person. Yes. I'm just saying this is what I'm into and second of all

I'm not yeah, I didn't claim to be no one's like I really like, you know Kind of yellowish teeth that don't yes face the right direction And it also shows their true colors because everybody goes oh men are shallow men are objectifying me But like I said I like this and you took it personally, which means you equate it with bad in your head So you don't like it Does that make sense? I think so. Okay. Yeah, like if I talk about I like thin women and you go fuck you That means you think fat women are gross Right because you took it offensively

But now there's also fetishizing if I'm like I like fat women exclusively people like you're fetishizing though Which is confusing because I'm like well, I'm not fetish. That's just what I'm into. I thought we were having a conversation here Yeah Should I fuck someone I don't want to fuck just to be PC Don't get it Yeah, then if you don't like trans would be a transphobia like look I'm just telling you which way the needles moving. I don't know like I didn't pick this. This is how I was born I'm like, that's why pedophiles if a pedophile doesn't fuck a kid. I'm like, hey, he's alright

He can't choose that right. He's doing a service. Yes. He wants to do it. He doesn't that that's a hero That's pretty good Oh, wait, what did we start a little trouble for that talking about fat That lady. Oh, so anyways, I'd rather have sex with the old lady Yeah, because first of all, I'm attracted to older women same and also I'm married So I'm like eventually I'm gonna have sex with an older woman Who I assume will be thin she's been thinner whole life or mother's thin So I'm like, let me get a little practice on that fucking an old thin woman and the young fat woman

I've had a lot of sex with a young fat woman. Yeah, good good call. So I'd go I'd go old. I'm interested too That's intriguing to me. Yeah, also an old pretty Means you're really taking care of yourself because I think as you get older men and women It's hard to keep things going the hairs getting out of there the skins wrinkling the shit sagging If you're still attractive as an old per that means you were really attractive because it's like it's in your jeans Right exactly and you're fitting those jeans mom jeans But yeah, so I think so by the way, I'm it's harder and harder. I'm a yikes the clock came out. That was a stretch He's tucked in look at that. That's a sign of comfort. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, the ears look a little more down

Yeah, he's got the weird Batman Tuffs Jesus. What's its name again? Greg? No kidding. Yeah, great the cat. Anyway, so yeah, I'd go old lady. How about you? They have definitely old old all day, but yeah, they've they've experienced you can throw them around their bones are brittle You can break us break a femur. I'm into it. That feels like both groups are grateful though They're both fucking a young handsome man, which I'm not anymore, but the only problem is with the old I feel like it would you need a little Lou might be a little dusty downtown I don't know if the moisture is pumping, but I'm all Lou ball the time. I like Lou. I got myself some a struggle out

I don't want to get too personal here, but I got a little astroglyde which I always heard like punch lines of jokes But it's all natural. It's great. You put it in there and give it a squeeze. What? It's beautiful I mean, it's a beautiful thing turkey baster. What are we talking here? Well, it's a little I looked over here like it might be next to me. Yeah, it's a little plastic thing It comes out hot and fast you get a little on your finger and stick that right in the stink hole and then rub it on your cock for good luck and You're right in there. It's slippery as a seal. It is slipperier and it feels great because when a gal is a super Wet, I mean, it's a it's a water park down there. It's a fun time

But the Lou has a special kind of slide. Exactly. It's an astroglyde. It's Scientifically proven. Yes, the natural stuff is nice and but you got to be honest I mean if you're fucking a 17 year old girl or what I should have said older than that obviously sure, but when we were 17 We fucked 17 years. You're having sex with a girl who's 22 23. She's just a river down there But as they get older, it's a little tricky. So you get a glide and who wants to go natural when you have a scientific Study, you know what I mean? It's like you're still using map quest over here Let me just get a Google put it on the windshield and it tells me the way to go. Good point. Good point Usually natural is always better. You know, oh

Natural real tits versus fake tits or this is an organic orange. It's better than the chemical But for some reason with Lou, but the natural is worse. Well, I prefer natural tits over a fake tits Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh wait shit. That's really wins. That was one of those ones You think you have a good point and you have a completely horrible prove my point. Yeah, boy. That was bad. No, no I'm up. It helps me go. What's better than what fake? Hmm Well, yeah, yeah, it's tough like a toupee is bad a fake lips is bad Oh, maybe a prosthetic leg, but then no, that's not good. That's not good. The Storis guy. He could run pretty fast

Oh, yeah, the blade runner the bendy bendy blades. Do you think he killed his lady? I don't know. That was one of those stories. I skip the certain stories. I go. I'm not interested skip Yeah, I mean, well, though the lady was like a supermodel. So it made it a little more fun Hey, Jess, but this is good stuff. I think my god, that's weird when they do that They go, uh, oh what a shame. She was so beautiful as if she was a you know a witch or a haggie You know a hag they'd be like, ah, fuck it. I'm gonna do people die Yeah, he murdered that three women, but they were all fat and yucky. So Sounds like an old de Palo style bit. Oh, yeah

He was great. So I gotta tell you I got the second shot. Oh, yeah me too. I want to hear your second shot Let's trade second shot stories. Well, I get back in from Tejas You know, I went went hog wild in Texas to Kilt Tony the Paramount Theater and saw the creek I went to the creek and the cave go there right downtown right off 6th Street And it's this place. I mean Rebecca fell as backwards in the coolest venue in Austin. It's Bad ass, baby. I mean, it's a outdoor patio with a bar huge bar on the inside The pinball machines are all there from Queens. Wow big showroom Nates there this weekend. It's oversold and to push people away

I mean, Pepaton was there when I was there. They had Ali Sadiq. I mean, they are Cooking Joe Pepaton and I only inside of that plate I can't wait. So is Paramount Theater cool with you stopping in and doing some guest spots or what? Who the hell knows but hey that was sold out. It didn't take away from anything I just popped over I had to see Rebecca and check out the new digs and boy did not disappoint I gotta hit them up because I'm there for the whole week I'm gonna Austin for a week leading up to Paramount. So I'll be bumping Indians on the street get your tickets Paramount Theater May 15th with Nate is there any crossover? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. Oh, that could be fun

but anyways That's exciting. I'm gonna go check that out. I didn't know it was already over It was like one of those things you heard the creek of the cave is opening in Austin all of a sudden You're already there. Yeah, they got right to it and Everything you know this 18 clubs are opening the last factory the companies the Rogan's got a thing and they're all taking their sweet time but the creek just hopped to it and got a cooking and Nate this they were gonna do outside shows because they're still kind of constructing But then there's rain showers all day for Nate so they had to push it in so they just double-timed it and finished it

Wow, that's exciting. Yeah, I can't wait to be there. You know how much I love Austin I'm gonna go to Magnolia all over that shuffleboard court South Congress. I'll go to the bookstore I'll buy some old used book for no reason. Yes. I can't wait signed by Frederick Douglass or whoever the hell But yeah, so I fly back from Austin land in New York Make sweet love to the to the dame and then I got three shows uptown. I do a Jewish temple gig Got a little weird in there Hall at me and Ian Lara. Hey, I jump in his Jeep. We haul ass. I do Eastville. I do some other show in Brooklyn Then I go. Oh shit. It's 11. I have a second shot appointment in

Tribeca at 1150. Okay, yeah That was fun. That really was So I'm like first of all, you know, you just think you're just planning out your night You're trying to make it all work and then it hits me I'm in an Uber on the way to this Tribeca thing from Brooklyn. I'm like, I'm going to get a shot Vaccine dose at 11 p.m. 1150 p.m. Intrepid. This is so weird. That's bizarre. Yeah, I don't like these nighttime shots I'm glad they're doing it all around the clock or whatever But I'm a morning you wake up you go to the place you get your shot in the morning

You go home you watch movies, you know, you fuck yourself in the ass, but this midnight doctor business It feels like a back alley abortion or some weird shit. It's kooky. It's eerie. It's creaky. I mean already those government buildings I mentioned before they're dissad they're they're they're dingy the weird lighting with the flickering, you know fluorescent going It's all cuckoo and you got to go to the metal detector and everybody's angry at you and there's a line of Chinese people for some reason and Now it's all that plus nighttime in New York when it's already Pandemic II and shut down and Tribeca is already a ghost town So the whole thing was odd, but the beauty of it is no one's there. It's me and some fucking mailman from You know Bronx and I was zipped right through

This is Bing bang zoom made a bad joke with the lady after she gave me the shot. She didn't laugh I Get out of there. I go home and I'm a I'm a cunt where I'm like everybody's like a second shot It's gonna put you out, but I give it 12 hours. You're gonna be on the floor. Yeah, and I'm like not me I'm a tank. Don't even worry about me blow me dickless and I got no sleep that night. I don't I just couldn't fall asleep and Just couldn't do it got like three hours woke up had a full day of shit and Soljals oh boy the next day that's all yeah That's bad bad bad news bears and it I was feeling it, but I was pushing through and

You know we did it it was fine. I mean it was a little harder It just feels like you're if we're 10. I mean a hundred percent now. It feels like you're about 60 That's what I felt like. Yeah, 60 sounds about right. Yeah here all these back took off work for a week I had to go get a spa day and then a massage and a shoot up a sex worker and all this but I just I Pushed through well here's it's so weird about this stuff and Some people get triggered if you talk about the fucking Whatever it's called the vaccine. Oh, here we go. I don't get but Strangest thing I've ever heard I don't get it either but

But some people it's crazy my mother she's you know 85 years old and she works at a hospital and she got the shot early. She was like one of the first people I think she was the first deb on the planet to get a shot Yeah, and she goes into work and they're like you could take call out sick if you want she's like I don't give a fuck. I'm fine, but she said everybody called out sick. She was the only one She's like I didn't feel anything. Wow, she's a tough shit. Damn. She certainly is you got that right and that's why I'm such a Little bitch That's why I want you know come and spit in my mouth and face because she was always

Smacking me around and doing my laundry and throwing it at me. All right, right? so now I need a high heel in my ass to come but that's neither here nor there but So she she was like nothing happened to me. Don't even worry about it. They're all fucking losers But then you talked to other people and then supposedly it affects older people less which is weird It's younger people harder, which is very bizarre So I heard all kinds of stories, but the story I kept hearing from Three different comics also the same thing they were felt a little woozy a little whoopee and then at 4 a.m They got hit with like body aches and chills and it kept them up

so I was preparing for that and I went got the shot 1040 a.m. Up in Harlem He's Harlem and same as last time I showed up nice and early and I was the only one there like literally nobody there It's a bunch people in mass and the hazmat gear and I had to shit so bad And I was like I gotta use the bathroom which is so weird because I'm the only one the six people and so I'm like Before I go in can I use the restroom and then I'm in there for like four minutes? Yeah, I'm shitting and someone's banging on the door and the whole time. I'm thinking everyone knows. I'm shitting I hate it's like and they're professionals, so they're not it's not that weird and everybody shits whatever that r.m. song but I

Just hate the feeling they're all thinking about it They have I know I know and then you come out and it's almost like when you make a gutter ball and bowling You got a walk past everybody again. They know exactly what happened. It's the worst feeling gutter balls Good name for a shit. Oh Yeah, that's not bad, but then a strike is like I don't know nothing came out. Yeah. Oh, I don't know Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. Do you have a gutter ball? No, it was a strike. Well, we'll figure out the details later But I came out say that I went straight in like no lie I had the easiest time, but the lady gave me the shot. Did you feel the second shot? I felt zero

I didn't even feel it go in it was definitely led I felt it But it was way led the first one. I was like And it was not bad, but the second one was even better felt zero and Yeah, I went back and I felt fine all day Sarah got a tube, but she got it like four hours later. So we're hanging out watching some telly and The movies on or whatever and all of a sudden about 11 p.m. 12 hours later. I started to be like I feel wacky Yeah, I had to feel fevery and a little wacky and I started to get like jacked up and cracked up and crazy Yeah, yeah, yeah, same. She was like, I think you're nuts. You're paranoid

You don't know what you're talking about. I got your four hours behind me, sister So I heard all about these body chills and the aches and the pains and the tweaks and the squeaks So I took two Tylenol Pia And that just fucking put me right out woke up at 8 a.m. Felt fine and then drove to Massachusetts and was pretty You know, what do you call it worn out? Just felt that like Yes, it's like the last day of the flu. Yeah Exactly, but she woke up and she's like you weren't crazy. I'm a piece of shit my contour It's my face is weird and so that that felt good to be like, alright, so you see I'm not a bitch here

No, no, no, and you still you still drove to mass and knocked it out Like you didn't you're high-functioning flu. You didn't let it kill you Yeah, I drove home saw my parents made out with my dad and all's well that ends well But the tradition we got we got a couple other Sponsors on this episode. So we better I should say a Sarah has a new special out on YouTube. Check it out It's a voluptuous boy. Yes boy on YouTube. It's over 10,000 views Lot of gays are in the comments is all gays. So thanks to everyone that went out hell. Yeah, and It's killer by the way Colin Quinn called me on the phone. It was like you got to tell Sarah. This is amazing

That's a nice little feather in your cap there totally he tweeted it which was nice But the the phone call it was just over the top. So that was exciting and This speaking of exciting this episode Tuesday's with stories is brought to you by Express VP and Few decades ago private citizens used to actually be private. That's right folks The internet changed everything whether you want it or not. You've got a permanent record online Think about everything you've clicked on searched watching the closet my god or air dropped on the subway yikes To keep my data private I use express VP and everything you do online is big business for data companies So the worst part is they don't have to tell you who they are

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Tuesdays and get an extra three months free for free. Wow three months. That's a lot That's express VPN dot-com slash Tuesdays one more time go to express VPN dot-com slash Tuesdays to learn more For the folks listening at home. There's a cat between us. Yeah You're gonna have to get on the YouTube ASAP subscribe to the YouTube and see this thing It's a giant fucking carpet with claws and ears a big cone. It's a main code now It's going to go into town on the genitals I mean, there's just a cat eating its own pussy a pussy eating pussy. Yeah in front of us and it's it's

Touching me. It's never done. It's really bonding with you. This is something. Well, I'm good with animals evidently because Louis dog is just upset Rosie. She just loves me. She blows me. It's I was petting her earlier I thought she was gonna come the leg was oh, yeah, and jiving wait. Yeah, you give her the peanut butter on the cock Anyways, they're gonna love this Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by feels. Yes CBD I gotta get another case of this stuff because I miss it. I'm taking time out And putting those in my butt sure love the CBD it relaxes you it helps you sleep get a little wink It slows down all everything just a little bit. It's a great thing. You put a little under your tongue It's fun to feed your wife this thing. I just love it. I miss it. I got to get some more

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Enjoy it get into it. Let loose feel free the thing with cats though. That's different than dogs Has this ever been talked about the difference between cats and dogs men and women is more rare the cat Well cats will turn suddenly and just do a swipe at you. You're right. I've seen it But I've never seen it with this come guzzler So and also with cats you can say super offensive slurs, too, and they take it very well douche cunt I'm afraid now. I mean, it's too much in the old days. Go rewind watch the originals and You face good luck this

cock breath anal Angel but the breasts Yeah, that's the goals. I mean we got to clean it up. This is 2021. They're gonna shoot us. Yeah, you're right I mean at least the nice thing is people have to get on the patreon to really find the good I say that but you know, we do about 500 children fucking jokes. Yeah, you bet. Oh, you bet a file. Yeah Ginger, yeah, this is very soft. Oh, it's a good coat This is like the softest thing I've ever felt my cock on Wednesdays. Yeah, that's a soft cock

and so I gotta tell you we did soul Joles and Just had a good gaggle. We planned it up where Vita is so lonely now He's a dad out in Jersey and he's got a kid and a wife So I go he's like Kramer now I'm like you got any interest in driving a soul Joles. I'm outside Right pulls up he lives 45 minutes away He drove all the way to New York picked up me and Ruby drove us all the way to soul Joles went back the other way And we just had a hoot and a holler and we talked about life and love and anal and all this and

The crowd was just ripping it was one of those magical because I've done soul Joles in snow I'm like a mailman snow rain sleeve sleet Earthquake fog Katrina you name it and this time was just 70 degrees blue sky the Sun is setting it felt like a festival Wow, what day was this yesterday? Wow God, I know old hot soup crew. Yes. How fun is that? That's what I called it and Doug Key showed up which was great because then we did the show Everybody killed it was hot Raj showed up. We threw him on he killed and

It was just like that crowd was just Going nuts and it was one of those beautiful shows were like Ruby went on first and it was daylight then Vita one was a little darker than Doug Key when I was a little then by the Time I went on his nighttime and the lights were twinkling. That is a festival. It was a fast I love that you're like the chili peppers and all the fires break out and everyone gets raped. That's so fun that happened to and just good vibes all the gays were out there and they're they're Headlocking you and they're taking photos with you one guy looked exactly like you when I got a photo with him

Ouch, you're not gonna like it. No, no, no one's ever said that you look like this guy and I'm like, oh nice I will say I cleared it with like nine people like doesn't he and they're like, oh my god He does he didn't like it either by the way You know riffany Joel's is tough now too because it's so great and Joel's the man, but you go there three times a year or three times a month so it's like a It's like going to church you see everybody, you know, I'm like, hey Harry. Hey Billy Hey Johnson and so you got a really riff it up for 28 minutes up top No, I'm fine

I got to bring like Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd next time I go because taxi I've come We have come with Louie twice I've come with Louie twice and I'm out of people to bring and now if Louie's not there I feel like I got the same act. I haven't written anything I open every show and I haven't written anything they laugh and there's like a few like Tuesday army people that they're Smiling at everything which I appreciate God bless you, but I mean, I just feel like I can't write material as fast as he books Us and now everybody's like he brings Louie where we go So I got to show up with you know Richard Pryor and

Geraldo and Patrice all the dead groucho and Garland may it can open yeah, don't bring Cosby, but yeah It's it's just a special night and then that drive home is great because we crack a few beers And you got that full belly of pizza and wings and oh It was just we stop at a sheets and then you see some people from the show there Then you run away from them and it was this just a hoot in a holler It's the best best feel the world you get the ice cream you gotta get the ice cream right next door We got that last time we got that and it was me and Louie and Sarah and Isabelle and then the crowd showed up

So we're sitting there and they're like one guy called it I was like we're all just trying to act cool right now and that was a fun moment because you're like well you're not I Love the call-out guy keeps it real. Yeah, you gotta get a call out Yeah, the train went by during my set which was annoying, but you also get to use it I was like oh, I guess they're picking up the Jews or some horrible joke and they're like They just love the dirty shit. I made some horrible jokes about black people beating up Asians and they're eating it up It was just a great time Yeah, I was doing a joke in the train came by and I said boy that really that joke went off the rails

And I didn't even mean it and then they went crazy and that was fun. They're good crowd good people Thank you. You haven't had the soul Joel experience yet. You got to go down there I'm back in May. I think May 24th or 26 or 23rd or 31st or you got to write some some zingers quick cuz It's it's blowing up I feel like and the Sun is out now So people really want to go drinking and live it up and so this guy shows up Lang media give him a shout out. It's his name media. I think that's the company and he had a drone That was a great one in the cat didn't blinch that was fun

So this guy shows up Lang media with a drone He did a drone shot. We'll put on the patreon it You know at first you're like, all right What do what a you know a drone shot who am I fucking Eddie Griffin or over here my motley crew? But it was beautiful. He sent me the footage today. It looks like fucking incredible. It's just a yawn there and I've never seen him or I think the fart got him by the way. He's got a walk Can't stretch like he's an aerobics instructor. He's gonna go run. Yeah, I sat on your phone this thing is scary I don't like that. He's facing me. Well, he's just taking it easy. He's sleeping literally sleeping, but that fart really walked

Yeah, what'd you have there shabarito? I Yeah, I got a whiff of salsa and pico Maybe some corn, but great night. Great night. It was a it was lunch and everybody went home happy I'm dying to see the drone. I mean, how high are we talking? He goes up. He gets the whole crowd Do they do a wave thing was it directed or he just got it during the action? I told him I was like, look, I'm a retarded person like I just want to I'm just gonna go out there And he was like, all right, all you got to do is go when I say go and I'll make it work

And he was super cool and it went like this it went From the back of the tent and then around me Like that and I went and you could see it going like whoa and the crowd was like what the fuck I made a nicest joke with a drone and all that and it and it hit the place was just loving it Was it it was just good vibes all around everybody was into it. Now the footage was super cool Does the drone go Okay, but not the worst it's only a couple minutes Yeah, I was there was a whole thing took a minute and a half and then it zipped away and it was beautiful and

You know you make a joke about it and Yeah, all's well that it drones well and yeah good times. Well, they need to drone on but I mean that drone strike that The you know fart cat gets up and leaves. I mean, that's just that's an all-time Classic we're gonna get the clip of that one. It's elbow the cat really Good work. Well the cat the beauty the cat was it didn't go Jesus. Just said yep. That's not for me And I'm taking a breather about a foot away Dying over here. Yeah, whoo. He's actually in direct fart path. I know that's right. It's not smart enough

It's like, okay, maybe he liked it. Maybe that's what it was He's like I'd like a cleaner look at that, you know better view right get it a little quicker But that yeah that fart was insane smelling. I apologize. I had a big burrito Because you know I was hanging out working on this thing and the chipotle across the street And I feel like Kramer with the hot dog in the movie line. Remember he's across I just kept looking at that chipotle my reflux has come back the silent re is fucking me up the ass But you're just looking at that little chipotle thing Ran over there

I'd no gift cards, but because I'm not on the road anymore or we weren't for a long time We're still taking those gift cards folks love the gift cards. I got 58 cheesecake factories. Oh, they're all of that So thank you for the cheesecake factories appreciate it I'm in Omaha a couple weeks next week this week this weekend. Holy shit Colleen Colleen Quinn not to be confused with Colleen Quinn who loved the special anyways So I went and got a chipotle burrito then I had a big smoothie and so my fart smell like AIDS basically Chipotle today as well and They give me the gurgles and then the quiet deadlies

Yes, that's what I get. Well mine weren't quiet, but yes weird long strange Like that ghost fart that just goes Yes, exactly So I gotta tell you about I talked about this in the Patriot and the patrons got a sneak peek at this sneak preview But I got some updates because I just had my first rehearsal. Please I'm dying to hear about this folks Buckle up. So there's a fella named Mariano Mariano. He's Peruvian and as you know, I visited Peru. Yes years ago Ruins see my ex and ruined. Oh, it was it was ruins. All right. Yeah ruin my life But you know, she's happy now and I pretend to be but so

This guy hits me up on Instagram. Yeah, and he says hey, I'm an NYU grad student and during pandemic We all questioned our lives, you know, I started wearing dresses and heels and you know, you Play basketball a couple times. So people piercings. It's you know, we're all start questioning and I You know, I always wanted to be in film filmmaker. We both went to New York film Academy I was one I thought I ever wanted to be with a Scorsese and Alan and the other guy and so I Started thinking like what am I doing with my life? I'm a piece of shit. I should at least try to act I always want to be an actor and win an Oscar and thank my mother and give it to my dad and whatever so I'm like, I got to start doing that. You know, I'm email my manager and agents that starts sending me out

Even if it's commercials, I like being on set when I did commercials. It's fun. It's fun to pretend You know load up on guns and sure whatever It's fun to lose and to pretend Nirvana. It's what I'm referencing But anyways, so right when I said that you put it out in the universe You take your tips out and people will come on them. You got that right? I get a message from Mariano from Peru where I visited So I got a lot of interlocking things and he says hey, I went to school in Boston. I'm from Peru I go to NYU and I'm like, oh my god. I'm jizzing all over the place. Yes. He's like, I love your podcast

I love Tuesdays with stories. I love mindful metal jacket. I love all the things you do and He's like, I don't like Joe and run on the other guys annoying, but Classic he said I love all these things. Would you want to be in a movie by my student film? Whatever? I said, yeah, fuck. Yeah, here's my email. So we start emailing We do a couple zoom like audition-y things. He writes the the script and I'm in the movie Wow, I got a part of the movie. I'm like the main character. I'm like the guy Wow, now let me out. Did you read the script ago? I'm in or just say I'm in was it one of those I need to approve this. This could be shoddy crap here. I said I'm in he's NYU. He's grad

He seems like a nice guy. He's got his shit together and you know, he's just as soon as I talked to him He just calmed me. He was just a beautiful soul. It was coming through on I was like, I really like this guy. So handsome guy, by the way, boy, he's gotta be a Mariano. There's no ugly Mariano No, good point Morion. Yes, Mariano Rivera is the only one I know. Who's that? Not hot. He was a baseball player. All right, but Talent he's sexy in his own right. It was a fun story. I was at his 500th save He's like the most saves ever and I was at his 500th. Yeah, and I had no idea I was so drunk the next day of people like 500 save and I was like, no kidding. I witnessed it in history

I didn't even realize. Oh, wow, that sucks. Anyways, you catch the TV version. Yeah, it gives a shit. I was there I remember it's a fun story. There you go Anyways, so I agree to the film. I'm in the film. It's very exciting and today was the first rehearsal So I'm nervous because I'm working with a guy who's like a real actor. It's me and this one of the guy He's like a Broadway TV New York actor. That's intimidating. I'm shitting my pants and Mariano's shooting the film on film Wow, that's expensive crazy expensive and like each canister has 10 minutes of film in it This guy's a real buff. He's a maverick this guy. So and I'm a goose So I go over there and I'm shitting my pants because I gotta meet an actor and he's a real actor and he reads

Scripts and has takes and whatever and I'm just an asshole. I don't have anything memorized and I stink and I'm gay Sure, and I got a fart Little little squeaker It smells so bad. I'm sorry. I really apologize. You see how the cat reacts gets just gone unconscious Oh, there he goes. I think the carbon monoxide is putting him out I don't think he's got it yet. By the way, we're bombing with this thing. No one left Well, we get nine tries. There you go. Yeah So you your goose that sucked hate myself. It's all right, but

So I'm goose I get there and it's I top it's that like Sutton place you ever hear that scream I have her to Sutton. It's like way east ways river in a sack. That's a rich area. I think extremely rich We show up. It's like very like Yeah, it's this big beautiful doorman place and they got the lights all set up and we're rehearsing It's I've never rehearsed anything in my entire life. Oh, yeah, no rehearse like Jackie Gleason I'm pushing through Look about a deli in Calcutta new deli Um

so cats is We get there we go over the movies and it's just very exciting and you start to get the flow down And I work with the other actor and he's playing my therapist and he's just got that stare and he's an actor stare I can't look at somebody who's serious. No, just now. I want to kill myself the worst so I'm looking like lock eyes and I keep just But luckily I'm playing like a version of myself. So it's not too hard It's like I'm playing, you know a British guy with no legs or whatever, right? That's not our retarded person, right? How do they do it? I mean you just see cuz we when the when the guy says cut I go, huh?

But they get there into it. Well, then it's awkward because Mariano says to the other actor he goes what it what do you feel? How'd you feel and he goes this guy goes? Well, I think my my breath could be a little shorter and am I going for Like am I underwater or am I above the clouds and I'm just sitting there like sweating cuz I know he's gonna turn and ask Yes, yes, so I'm like trying to come up with stuff. I'm googling like what actually say I'm like, you know Marlon Brando interview and back to me and I'm like, I think I should put tissues in my mouth like Maybe he's got an injury and yeah, so I'm shitting my pants over there But I think it went well

I don't have it memorized but I feel like I kind of got it and then he did the thing that every comedian trying to be an actor wants He's like make the lines your own make it a little more and I'm like, thank fucking Christ on Christmas Well sort of yeah, I got I memorized the beats and everything okay, so I think I got it down But we shoot tomorrow 9 a.m. We got to get three Covid tests and I'm fully vaxxed. Oh, what a waste of jizz and NYU is like insane the actors can't be more than six feet apart Closer than six feet for nine minutes and if you shoot like an intimacy scene. It's gonna be a mannequin. What? Yes, it's it's it's batshit crazy these NYU people and you faxed. I mean, what are we doing?

What's the port of the vaccine fully vaxxed and whatever it doesn't matter But so I gotta get tested three times tomorrow, but I'm silly I'm shooting Friday Saturday Sunday, and they're using terms like heavy and light and weird and lighting So it's exciting, but I'm working in film. I'm a film actor for God's sake Hold nine you got a grip and a gaffer and a quiefer and how about this the gaffer Huge Tuesday no way massive gay. He was like what I can't believe you got him This is crazy. It's so exciting. He's like you should have gotten mark, but this will be still be cool It's a different vibe different role, so it's very exciting

We got a real real gaffer, and I'm a goof and I can't wait I'm gonna shoot all week and so update everyone next week. Oh boy. Oh boy now Are you allowed to post this places or is this some kind of Cannes Film Festival? Tribeca thing like the can you post it on your YouTube? I don't know post it note I have no idea. I don't I think I'm gonna get a piece of it when it comes out We'll see but I might ruin it for I gotta see it before I can show it to anybody But that's the big fear, but I talked to Alan Therapist the best hold up, and I said I'm so afraid I'm gonna ruin this movie this poor kid

He flew all the way from Peru and he's gonna make a movie and I'm gonna just eat shit and stinking it and he said Where's his responsibility? He's like he knows you he hired you he casted you that's true He's like if you ruin it, that's his fault, and I was like that's a good point It's a great way to look at it, too. You leave and you're like that's a good point But then you're like I mean I guess but he still thought I was gonna be good and he was wrong Yeah, but I suck yeah, I feel like it's a nice way to look at it, but you still could suck yeah if I suck I'll still feel bad. I don't want to suck and then just well whatever you hired a shitty actor cuz I suck But yeah, I mean then Alan could say that yeah, you're a shitty therapist. Well you hired me

Right bang the bill by the way. We got one more sponsor. Oh, jeez. I didn't know that yeah Well one more and last but certainly not least this is I'm very excited about Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by Sunday custom lawn plans Now as you guys know obviously we don't have lawns. You're in Manhattan. I'm in Queens There's no lawns to be seen now I trimmed these folks were nice enough to offer us a kit I went online. I was that I'll send it to my dad. Maybe then he'll love me and It was the coolest experience because you type in your address and they go They take a satellite photo of the lawn

They do a quick Estimate of the size of your lawn. They take all the weather from the last 50 years They have the temperature the moisturizer. They figure out what kind of grass you have and they're like Bang, this is the package for you. I sent it to my dad He texted me he's like this is so exciting and I went up to visit and he's like oh my god I'm shitting all over the place. I can't believe how excited I make I got mosquito spray the thing I can already see the seedlings coming up. This is the coolest thing if you want to get your dad a gift Yes, this is the gift to get it's

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That's twenty dollars off your custom plan at get sunday dot com Slash Tuesdays, I'm gonna do this for old Papa Normand. It's very exciting. You got to get on it It's fun by the way while they were talking. I just got my call sheet. It's so exciting The real deal. I thought it was 9 a.m. And it just says Cast 9 30s. I got the extra half. Oh, I bet I love an extra half that people don't realize that hey You meet at 1015 that 15 minutes is saving my life It's big so got the call sheet and this whole week at my time this comes out I will have shot the whole thing been fired and shot myself, but yes

I'm excited and hopefully it'll be out. Maybe when it comes out I'll ask if we can throw on the patreon for the patrons because I just want to plug the patreon I mean our patreon blew up. We added a hundred new subscribers in the last week. So thanks everybody that joined up We should do that thing when we say their names. Oh, yeah, let's do that seems very popular these days Yeah, Chuck. We love you Chuck. This guy's a wizard with the ones and anals and the Jews He's really good. So thank you Chuck and he's gonna I think he's gonna come on board We got and my back. Yeah must queef TV three camera shoot. We any splice the commentary with the episode It's unbelievable real and then there's a few curb episodes up there a couple sign for the episodes

We did a full like half-hour regular show, which is a really fun one so some of you got a sneak preview about this film story and a bunch of other stuff and It's exciting. This is an exciting time for the patreon big big boost and quality big boost and content and Are you I just got asked by this movie. I'm so intrigued. Are you playing you? I'm playing Joey Joey version, but I'm a comic in therapy. So it's not a big stretch. I'm a big stretch, but it's not a big stretch stretch mark Hey, now that video yet. What's that? Have you done that video yet stretch mark? Oh, I guess I gotta put on a fat suit Yeah, or you fuck fat girls or whatever you can ask for mission, maybe but Something stretch mark now

How long is this is it a short that's a short seven minutes total so it's a real short All right, it's a veeter dick. Yeah, so I think it's gonna be good though. I'm really excited about I'm excited about the script I'm excited about Mariano, and you know, it's acting. I'm acting. I can't believe it. I'm so it's gotta be cool having a Crew shooting you well that happens tomorrow. So I'm terrified, but it's film. I mean it's like People don't know Film is it's limited and you know, that's it. If you don't get it you don't get it So it's losing light. It's pretty tricky and scary and like I said, he's got 40 minutes total of film Which is crazy. Normally you film, you know 500 hours for 80 minutes or whatever the formula is

I can't cope with where they go. We're over budget We need to push it another week in the studio goes. Ah, that's more money. This is it 40 minutes Oh, they'll kick you out of school. I think I don't know. So it's scary. It's crazy It's creepy, but I'm excited to do it and then I got spots after one of them And then the rest of the week and I took off so I'm pretty excited I'm so proud of her opening up the DM and taking a wacky gig and taking a chance on life and Peruvians and Jumping into the film biz. Yeah, it's exciting. I'm trying to get in there get up my ass

And I'm writing this other thing. That's probably stupid and we'll never go anywhere, but you know, I'm trying I'm gay Yeah, you got to try you got to go gay and you got a Change genders now. So good for you and folks. I don't know how we're doing on time. We're gonna wrap this thing up I mean, it's like we're we're over time here, but yeah, check out the patreon come see us live We're back out there where we're living. We're singing and Zang and all over at God's green earth Mostly America, but yeah, all kinds of Salt Lake City's coming up and Tacoma Spokane I'm gonna do a whole LA podcast run

You got some big big pods cooking on the way and it's gonna be a it's gonna be a good year Yeah, it's gonna be fun this weekend. I'm in Omaha Friday Saturday only with Andy Fiori Great a lot of Seinfeld references, that'll be that'll be a fun one and Old after tonight too, but that'll be a fun weekend. It's only two nights Friday Saturday Perfect Omaha, Nebraska this weekend get your tickets get out and then Paramount Theatre May 15th by the fucking tickets Austin, Texas And then I'm at Mohegan Sun Finally comics Roadhouse the weekend after May 20th to the 22nd. That was the day I canceled the weekend, you know COVID came out whatever bullshit Matt Wayne's coming with me. I think he's a podcast coming out soon

I think so, but man, you got some good fun fun opener me and Fiori Tied one on oh just sitting at that table one night for like six hours boozing it up Hey, if you're he was in your house. Yeah, it was super weird But they felt like college we just beer for beer then he ordered beer on drizzly and then the lady showed up and we all Just told stories and there was a wacky kind of what do you call that? Spontaneous ah combustion. Yes, we were outside. He said a man I'd love to get a drink but this pandemic has a curfew and I said well I got a full bar cart and a fridge of beers and he said well

What are you thinking that we you know blew each other and my asshole bled and he went home? No kidding? This changes everything. It's weird when you find out someone was hanging out with someone in their house You're like I'm looking at this guy completely differently. He almost slept over I had to kick him out But he put his jammies on it got weird. So yeah anybody if I see on the street, and it's a weekend I'll invite you up. Oh, all right. Invite them up great show. Yeah, Bobby Tisdale never did it shits and farts Um anyways, yeah for it's been fun and what are you leaving? That was Hilarious he went like this

I mean gotta hand it to the cat for taking it on the face. That was a real done I mean what happened you were like a stanza out there when he couldn't come up with a lie It came out, but it was it was Air it didn't make a I got I got a loose asshole. Yeah, I don't know what happened there But if you're just on audio is anyone audio anymore, it's all video. It's all YouTube. I hate the video Ah, is anyone on audio? No, they're what are they in a bunker listening to a ham? I mean I still listen to podcasts on audio or buy audio be audio whatever I mean I can't buy the idea of sitting and watching a YouTube video is just blows my mind

It's bananas people talking about YouTube rabbit hole. I'm like, I don't watch YouTube I'm out on you Everything from every baseball play to every comic to every kung-fu ninja to every, you know Sports Illustrated swimsuit, whatever you like. All right, maybe I'll check it out or whatever But I'm just afraid of the algorithm and getting stuck in Caught in the web there fatty. Yeah, like a web no web worldwide Charlottes All right, folks that join the patreon and fuck your dad in the ass if he lets you yes

Kiss me on the lip sprays. I'll uh Georgia saying cut it