#401 Babble On
00:00hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great goodto be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with asurfboard and then the duck fell out of his bagsurfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman andJoe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposedto be cheesyyou're spitting at mehere we are while this is a big up right here I this is why you gotta get on the
00:41YouTube the patreon because we are in a whole newscenario a whole new world kids take off your clothes a new all goodwhat is it women or girls all good teenagers teenagers all good teenagers takeoff their clothes this is too bright we got a what's it called a ring light yeahan uber ring and it is just blasting I can't you can probably see it in myglasses which are all scratched I have no idea how this happened well this ohyeah you're getting too wild on the streets there's fights and car chaseshang on I mean I don't know what's going on baby it's fine cuz you have a beer in
01:21a bag and I'm dressed like a guy that has a beer in a bag I got a Bruins tea anda sweatpants that don't fit I gotta tell you just so fun being at your place youknow it's usually I feel like I'm having the party I'm entertaining thedinners at my house now but your house I'm cutting loose I'm in Queens I'm drinkinga beer I love it and yeah it's switched because I want you out of here it's abummer I'm not happy you're here my neighbors are gonna know that I'm racistI mean real issue yeah the slurs are flying tonight baby I mean I'm notaccustomed to having a friend over here usually it's me and Sarah we're talking
01:53about you know flower petals and bridges of Madison County but you come overhere and it's you know F a G this and I tee that and it's just crazy and I tee isthat a new one that's a basketball tournament ah yes god I thought it wasthe non ignorant token ah that's something fungible I don't know we're gonnacut all that I can't see anything I can't see Peter Peter you gotta look atafter hours and strangers by the lake over there on the wall like who knew doluck yes yes that means my cunt is wet it certainly is I got my spring steam thatuh Salacuse gave me the guy's so generous giving giving too much he's just
02:35giving I'm like I don't even know you son of an onion I know I feel horrible withthe cues I never give him anything and then I try to pay for some he won't letme I try to kiss him he won't let me he's the accused Salacuse I felt that wayI don't know jump ahead because we'll come back to it I felt that way withRogan because he's all into this Austin thing oh yeah he's deep in and he's likeyou gotta move here you gotta move yeah you can go here we have this we have thatand I wanted to go you don't even know me what if you hate me he likes you helikes me he's very sweet he's nice we're friends of friends he's a fan of my
03:07comedy yes we've talked for six hours total I'm like if I move here you'regonna be like what is going on you're always worried about somethinghypochondria who gives a shit about the Red Sox your father's gay I don't careabout your parents well I listen to the first four minutes of the app I gottatell you and I could tell he was very like comfortable friendship it felt likeyou guys had slept over in the same sleeping bag well we have had a previousthree-hour talk and by the way it's the fans are so nice but also hurtfuleveryone's like it's about time finally what a day list is in and I'm like I've
03:45done the show I did the show a long time ago I did this I did the goddamn showbefore nobody heard it and I don't think anyone heard this one either cuz I'vegotten 50 messages but all there are all starts with huge Tuesday lifelong fannobody's reached out and said never heard of you you fucking loser but now Ilike you right yeah that's tough it's tough with the rogue well I will sayyours I think got scrubbed from the Spotify there for talking about some youknow gray matter well I'm too hot to handle I mean that's the way I am youknow I come at it hard and loose and soft and hard all at the same time so
04:18they kick me off I mean Spotify can't handle the list you got that right theherpes were flaring up that day and they had to pull you right out of there buthey great week for the twos I'm on Marin you're on Rogan pretty hot what are youdoing they doing the bunny ears well it looks like I'm scratching your head I'mscratching your head but I'm not right there right there that's good it's prettyfun I like this look this is nice and you can see our dicks yes stick I don'tknow how my glasses got all dinged up it's like I fell down a flight of stairsand all I see is the reflection of the scratches oh that sucks well yeah you
04:54were in Austin for 13 days it feels like and a lot happened you did your theaterI was in Houston so as a stone's throw away what you were in Houston I just gotback what we got a lot to talk about fatty what you sneak in there across theboard I had no idea you were in Houston that's a long cup of jizz but we'll getin all of it I mean I've been sitting in six months so we got I've been up downaround town and Chinatown I'm blown away I mean I could have come out thereyesterday I had nothing I can't wait to talk about all this stuff I don't havemy notes because we're shooting it on my phone because we're idiots and I don't
05:30have any notes I don't have any ads so yeah you're gonna have to do all of itmaybe I'll just look at your notes to see if it sparks anything because I hadsome good stuff hopefully I'll remember all I don't know but it's I'm fresh I'mfresh up Austin I took two flights today just got back and I appreciate youcoming over cuz I mean I'm on four hours sleep to 5 a.m. pick up brutal brutal Ihate the four hours that's something about that four hour if you got one moreyou'd be alright and if you got one less you'd kind of be alright cuz you'rejust in crazy land well that's what I am I'm crazy I'm getting a win cuz I
06:04haven't seen you you rejuvenate it's like you just shot a hot load in theass what do you think that feels like I hate to always go so blue and goo but doyou feel the jizz was good do you do you feel the jizz of course fill up as itget hot I mean you're even a woman even vaginal like can they feel that loadshooting is at all in size at all pipes I've wonder the same I think the theanal you can feel everything because your ass is the most sensitive part of theI mean sometimes I'll wipe for two hours just because I'm like whoa and I cleanit out with a with a zest bar and I really go to town but I think a lady it's
06:39it varies cuz I my ex-girlfriend I would shoot a hot load of gasoline in there andshe was like all right we done here and my gal I do I do an eyedropper full ofvisey and she's like everybody's different everybody poops everybodyhurts everybody poops yeah cuz it seems like such a it's the same with blowing aguy this is why I want to blow a guy cuz I want to feel a hot splooge on the backof my chest sure we can do that with a gusher or you ever had a really greasyfried chicken when you bite into it that grease hits you yeah but you're notworking for it's a biting squirt I want to blow and a blow and a blow and then
07:21the house comes down all over my the little thing that hangs I mean thatfeels so satisfying oh yeah the hangy ball I imagine I don't know I'm nostranger by the lake over here but how do you feel about the cartoon poster withthe black dick on it is that all right am I weird black dick there's one guyhe's a white guy with a brown dick he's all the way to the right is huge yeahhere while black dicks are big I know but I my dad had a brown dick I don't knowwhy it was a mocha it was so weird cuz he's a he's a tan guy he's like a Europeanhe Frenchy swarthy woppy kind of guy and he had a weird big brown piece judge
08:01Wapner I mean mine's a different color too but it's from being it yeah I'm suremy well my dad grew up in the 30s so he there was no internet you know so he wasjust throwing that thing down on a chopping block and it was a tenderizeryeah you had to beat hard back in the day beat it good like the heart of a fatguy I mean it's a hard beat right right yeah yeah he was he was on the beat andthe beat is on but he was he was packing heat I think I got about a half what mydad's got ultimately half I think so yeah he was a generation I guess I guess soyeah he had huge cards and Harry Harry chest Harry shoulders I got no chest
08:42there interesting yeah I have a little something my nips looked like they fellon the floor of a barber shop in the 80s and they got a little sticky but that'sabout it just take some good dust and hair and maybe some lint women get thatisn't that weird when you see a nice pair of dits with a big puke on it am Icrazy no I don't know that one not my wife but I had an Italian dame for awhile and I told you would make up would make out I mean we never made up webroke up but she had a five o'clock shadow of like she had like aBuster Keaton looking face it was like a haggard yeah five o'clock shadow but I'd
09:25take off for what do you call that thing Peter Brazier oh yeah and just likelook like ball hair just spread out but once every half an inch that just be anine and a half inch curly yeah those guinea cunts that they got a lot of fur onthem sometimes those Greek that Mediterranean skank that it's like agrape leaf on their sideburn yeah it's off-putting but I feel bad you knowbecause it's like you know the judgment bodies or whatever whatever the shit isthat we're supposed to do but you know we're not naming names of just everywhile you see a nipple with a crazy puke on it of course my big fat Greek
10:01prostitute and I'll tell you that sometimes women are good about thatwomen have must see all kinds of horrific shit on a man like dingleberrybelly button jizz cobwebs in the taint and they just let it go you don't seewomen going like what the fuck's that that's men do that men are very a littlemore insensitive we just take it and they ride with it because they don'tembarrass you yeah I cannot imagine and maybe it's cuz I'm a heterosexual manbut I can't see some attractiveness in a man you know I'm Brad Pitt's betterlooking than Wallace Sean oh you got that right but I see and we're standing
10:39in front of the doably what did he say no inconceivable conceivably so I'mlooking at the strange by the lake so I'm thinking about the main guy the badguy he was a hunk and he's a hunk but he's all hairy I like I don't know howhair is so off putting I agree I was thinking about this today that's so funnyto say that my gal she always says I wish you were hairier which alright I can Ican take that as a critique but it's just so fascinating how women how differentwomen are than men straight women and straight men are so wildly differentwhich is so weird how we're doing this thing we're all the same wildly they
11:16want to be choked they want to have the hair pulled they want to be spanked I knowyou you were the exception you like that too but the hairy chest the the toweringover you the control the take charge women like a guy who's mean right somesome of these but yeah that's more turn on but if I see a woman that's taller thanme I mean I hope she passes away in a car wreck I mean I'm just nasty it's grossI'm sorry I can't handle it but this is sexual preference I don't really die Ihope she flourishes and goes to Harvard and becomes a you know a professionalwrestler whatever they're qualified for yeah yeah the hairy tall dick yeah I mean
11:57I had a flight attendant today I mean she was ducking to get through in hercast with the size of Cristiano Coye's quadriceps I mean it was just bad newsbears and she barely fit in that suit it was bursting at the seams she lookedsix eight finally get a special order and extra you know like the extra seatbeltextender should probably get that on the shoulder pad yeah just a big can of yuckbut you know but some guys are into that and and again just to be family look atthese legs than that's brighter than the ring light it's off the camera look atthis I mean Jesus it's a lanky leg it's all legs it's pretty gross and yet
12:31somebody has sex with me my teeth are as crooked as a politician my forehead isbigger than you know my father's asshole but you know someone blows mewell thank God as men the personality goes a long way the bank account thethe clothes you wear the car you drive the pipe you're swinging and all factors inthank God well especially as you age like this this minute bowl lady I'm sure bythe time she's 48 there'll be some asshole you know feature acts on theroad at the funny bone that goes yeah you're a nice lady help buy your dinnerand then they'll work out or whatever I know a guy who loved tall women back in
13:10Baton Rouge she was a waiter with me he called him trees he's like I likeclimbing them I want to get in the leaves and rustle them and build a nest youknow what it is for me when I'm when I'm having sex I like a missionary where I'msitting up I like to hold the ankles like I'm working a tractor yeah but so Ineed a petite leg a little leg that's not much work to hold it up cuz those bigtree legs yeah trunks I feel like my shoulders gonna start to hurt I can'tsupport it for too long I don't like a thing I want my I want to be able to getmy whole hand around the ankle and it's lightweight so I can maneuver yeah like
13:48a like a Charlie Chaplin machine kind of thing yeah like a what's thatRockham Sockham oh robot yes yeah some women even like the old guys like I likea milf and a mom and a lady who's been you know divorced and down on her luckand beaten but some women like an old man you know like in a wheelchair withliver spots and a shrinkled cock and that blows my mind it's all preferences whoknows what where love grows or a rosemary goes whatever that dumb gay song wasbut I'm just happy to be married I'm with you you're with me sure that's itlet's call it a day here here yeah it's same here where I'm glad we're together
14:30and I gotta tell you speaking of old weird men I had a golf gig oh boy Ihaven't heard that in a long time I used to do those back in the 90s did you alot of golf gigs loved a golf gig but the gig sucks but you don't golf I don'tgo I like to golf I just don't golf so did you get to go I did not get to golfthat's the best part of the golf gig no gig golf no golfing but golf ofMexico but it was a fuck up so I you know I have my day my night of shows Igot your New York comedy club here I got your fucking seller spot there you getI had a stand a seller in New York spot so yeah and then I get that email going
15:10looking forward to having you today oh like oh what did I forget what did I notwrite down what did I do get the assistant I gotta get an assistant so Igo shit oh my god I'm at Long Island golf resort or whatever the fuck and I'mlike oh not only am I not remembering this gig but it's on Long Island and itpays pretty damn well oh boy golf gigs are big I mean yeah cuz they know it'sshit so they're like give them $25,000 so he'll come and eat shit and sliceexactly four minutes was the only part I did well out of 20 and so I go all rightlet me let me map this out and I'm pretending oh yeah I can't wait can't
15:52wait it's at six so that buys me a little time okay so I look it up it's a50 minute Uber or a 42 minute LIRR learn yes so what time is it now whenyou're reading it uh two okay yeah so I got some daylight left so I go alright Ican haul ass out there get there for six you know there's three people on theshow there's a host and a you know basically a guy who's getting thrownout to the wolves you know some open miker who's does six and then he dies andthen I go on so I'll be out of there by seven I hide Taylor back to New York I'mback to New York by eight eight oh five okay all right so I I get there on the
16:32LIR by the way the LIRR it's just so foreign to me there's numbers it's likea racetrack betting it's like we're betting on the dogs or the horses I'mlike what is this I don't know what's quenella trifectaBarbarella I'm all over the place is this at Grand Central Penn station okayPenn is tough because it's tough I like the flippers though I love the flippersyeah little letters that flip for the folks at home yes all the names becomesomething else they go right and just like a horse race you know it's likehey coming down the line is anal Fisher and then we got dick cheese and Nazi
17:09and all that just it's like the names Belmore is coming down and then we gotRon Concoma you know and it sounds like horse namesbless you thank you Palestine so then I'm like all right what am I doing here Igotta figure this out then you got to connect in Babylon it's a whole kittenkaboo didn't you hate that song by the way that David Gray Bob Marley I don't knowBabylon remember that I was here when we were young I don't know Babylon I fuckedthe whole story I was hoping you'd jump on and hate Babylon Babylon 5 this isBabylon 0 it's David Gray from the 90s it was like high school it was huge when
17:46we were like juniors I think it was really gay and like that one might havedone something that might have turned to the jar something it might a jar I thinkI did a good job as I was doing that was good Jar Jar Binks that was pretty goodBabylon oh yeah yeah David Gray he was kind of a softy cunty singer songwriterdouche he did that one and he did save tonight tomorrow I'll be gone your father'sgay that was a big one yeah I hated that and then there was Babylon I remember itnow it's stunk stunk stunk but I cried to it twice all right so you see Babylonpops up are you taking the Babylon I get over I gotta get over to Babylon then
18:30switch tracks and and the other part about the Babylon and the race track andthey were on cockama is there's 88,000 cum guzzlers and ties and briefcases andthen the fat chick with the the roller suit case and the cunt with the dog andyou're like you know you can't see anything you're bump into people it'slike it's like home alone so whatever I get through it I get the Babylon and thenyou go all right I got that that transfers the biggest moment of yourlife because you got like a minute and everybody's going and you go hey do youknow where dick cheese is and they go who never heard of it I'm like you live
19:03on line island all my life get out of here you never heard of anything I'veever asked what is that no and then you don't know until you're moving becausethey don't and it's not till you start moving they go this trans gonna stop atbumble fucked suck my dick blow my dad fuck a kid and they don't say it you'realready moving so the time you don't hear your stop you're already in motionthen the guy comes with the Nazi hat and he says hey but you gotta go he'sdoing that with his arm too and he's saying okay hey you gotta get off of thenext stop and he's mad at you for some reason right you gotta get off of the
19:35next stop then get a cab back to your parents house and then go back in yourmother's twat she really gives you birth yeah and you get the guy who who'strying to avoid you he's got the earbud in you go hey buddy which way is aBabylon he goes hey buddy and he goes I don't know and you're like yeah you gotnothing for me so I finally ask a guy with the hat on there's some kind ofMountie and he goes oh yeah it's right across the track that comes in twoseconds I jump on that I get out there now I gotta jump in an uber to get tothe to the links is that we call it links the links and that what people call
20:09the oh hit the links I was still looking train yeah so I get to the links youknow that takes another 20 minutes finally I'm there beautiful say what youwill about these country club queeps and all this shit but man they got thegrounds and the guys in the white jacket and the golf cart going the cigarsthey're clinking Budweiser's it looks like fun all I want my life is to belongto a country club you watch curb the golf every day you steam is a steam room andyou just belong to a club I mean you get older when you're young you're likewow we shouldn't have that classes right the whole thing and now I'm like I want
20:45class I want I want to be a gated community I put my thumbprint on thereyeah they say welcome mr. Liz they give me a bathrobe and we all talk about howmuch we hate poor people that's the life baby that's living so you show up andI'm like hey comedy show and some cute lady in a dress is like oh it's outsideI'm like oh it's an outdoor show of course COVID queef so I go out there fullspread with the weird Hispanic guy you know chopping brisket and then the bigthe big you know those big metal things they open like that they put thepaper cutter no it's like a big troth almost and they open it up and it
21:24kind of you know and then they put the the tongs on the front then you go init's chicken parm it's you know chicken marsala and salad and noodles and allthat shit I mean I mean hog heaven that's that's my dream I like to say youpretend there's gonna be a head in there maybe you know you know in the pulpfiction when he opened the briefcase that's what it's like for me when theyopen those dishes I'm like I got a bandit on my neck so I just scooped down thefood he's like you're on in two minutes and I go where's the dessert card he goesoh that's in so I pile over all these cookies in my pockets I go up it was
21:54actually all right oh nice bunch of guys smoking like it on picnic tables inlike outdoor chairs it's kind of like oh that wasn't bad and then I heard one guykind of had some rough spots because I went edgy whatever it was a it was a PG13 kind of had a couple rough spots I got out I jumped back in an Uber but Itook a piss first and I come out I'm washing my hands and the guy goes heygreat job I go sorry I push it a little bit goes you got to push it and I wentyeah got the Uber went went drove back to the LIR got back in time made all theshows oh that's a relief and you got a nice fat check in your pocket big check
22:30those guys are usually cool too because you know they're all just golfed they allthey got the dopamine's going they had a good hang they had a cigar they got alittle nicotine a couple drinks and they were sweetest pot they don't want towatch some twerp up there with the bad jacket and shitty hair go on and talkabout Jews but they were nice and they got life by the balls and everybodytalks about the 1% a bunch of douches and like they just want to golf they madetheir money leave alone yeah they like golf and I like golf and what are yougonna do I mean these public courses forget about it this is it's patchy and
23:01all nasty I mean I'm a Kramer did a whole speech about it you can Google itGoogle it give it a go so all right I'm a bargain now I want to hear about alittle Tejas a little Joe rogue a little a paramount I got no notes my notes areinside the camera but whatever we'll figure it out but so I'll get into itI'm excited to tell it because I told this story on Rogan but he's a differentkind of guy you know sure he's kind of he's got muscles he's he's got theseball and he kind of goes oh interesting he's interested tough not to crack trustme I kept waiting for him to be like did your jizz on the tits you know something
23:39like that something fun no jizz no tits but so I go out to Austin I'm there forthe long haul this is the longest I've ever stayed in a domestic hotel by myselfis every six nights I'm there wow I've got to Paris for a week sure my wife youknow in the UK but I mean there's not a lot of situations where you're at like adomestic hotel for a week well you've been doing comedy since 41 haven't younever you didn't it used to be like Tuesday to Monday was the old way theydid it back at the the Jew face there well maybe act me but then I would openfor DiPallo and he didn't do that shit he wasn't doing that maybe there's some
24:17gigs a couple I don't know I just throw it out there but usually those arecondo gigs doesn't matter it's the longest in memory anyway so memory I'mstaying the hotel you stayed at the Stephen F. Austin downtown cute and thelady apologized because we did the podcast you were out there and I was likethat room looks tiny and you're like it's tiny and they put in the wrong room Iguess is that right tell mark I'm sorry you in a small room I was like I'm in ahuge room and she's like we fucked up she's like I listen to the pod I feel sobad we owe them like yeah oh when you go back I think you're getting the king
24:48sweet hell yeah because she's like I watched it I was look I was doingmeasurement she's like we feel horrible the whole city's embarrassed I thoughtit was tiny I brought a little boy in there he made fun of me I mean I had Imean I had my I was jogging in there I was a little hurt well I had to warm upto keep from these street folk what happens so I get in the car I fly toAustin and I just I love Austin and I almost hate how much it's exploding Iknow makes it hard to be like because every time you say I love Austin likeare you moving of course I'm not moving Tim Dylan hates it he won't shut up by
25:22it's a cow town I can't move around over there it's tiny do the whole thing inone minute yeah well he was like yeah I don't want to I don't want to get intoTim's stuff boy I'm sure he says it anyways but he's not gay anyways loveTim didn't get to meet up with it because he lives way the fuck out we weregonna meet up and then I got tired because of the thing whatever but so flyto Austin I'm all excited I get in like six o'clock and I'm ready to seize theday I love Austin I'm downtown it's beautiful and text some people I textRebecca Trent who runs the creek in the cave which is now in Austin which is
25:54like bizarro world because it's a fixture here in New York and Queens rightdown the street from where we are and they start Lee they got it cooking thentwo shakes about a dog's dick yeah wild I love dog dicks I like the taste so Iget down there and I get picked up they stay treat you like a million bucks ohyeah I don't deserve it I'm at the Palace Theater Houdini and the Mark'sbrothers played their paramount theater excuse me so it was very important so Iget there I'm staying in this nice hotel down downtown they pick you up in a bigold SUV oh yeah big guy in a suit and a vest he meets you you tip that guy 20 bucks
26:32both ways well the lady this morning I gave 10 because that's all I had a 10 anda 50 women get paid less well this one did but that's all I had it's so hardthat's why I won't transition and then it feels hard to explain it you want toexplain like I only have a 50 but that feels weird to be like I'm not giving you50 obviously oh what are you a Rockefeller but it's a 12 minute car rideand it's a nice company so I soon they get paid well and 10 bucks is 20% of 50right yeah yeah that's 20% of 50 so even if it's a $50 car which I don't know ifthat is yeah whatever yeah so he picks me up and this guy was he had like a
27:12southern he was like a Sam Elliott type Texas and so we're driving and he saysI don't need to wear a mask I'm vaccinated I said hey I'm vaccinated too and thenwe're driving quietly for a while and he says so you're comedian I say yeah andhe goes well he goes isn't it weird with this political correctness so now yougot to dance around a little bit because it is weird and I don't want to get inthe whole thing it's all we ever fucking talk about sure I'm tired of talkingabout it sure but he goes yeah well you know it's weird with this politicalcorrectness because you know we can't say this you can't say that but I drove a
27:46hip-hop artist and he said and he was in the back seat he was nice as could begave me a big tip couldn't have been nicer funny guy but every out of the wordout of his mouth was this guy just shoots off the n-word like a machine gun Imean like I assume he's a afro-americani no he's whitehip-hop no he's black okay so he's I was like you know Snoop or somebody parallelto Snoop I don't know but he said yeah the guy just went and you're in theback seat like you landed in Texas and it was Texas yeah and and you know in thethe context you're like I understand what he's saying he's quoting which but I'm
28:30like I don't think we're doing that anymore either I was like I don't knowif you got the emails or so you check the tweets but I don't think that fliesanymore but just me and him we're having fun sure it was quite an experience toland in Texas a 10 gallon hat the white mustache and bang here it is culture shockbaby yeah that was it was raining n-words and then of course I feel like an assholebecause then I say n-word because like he's saying the n-word I'm saying quoten-word I'm like oh the thing about the n-word is oh he's just responding butnow I feel like he hates me so are you not gonna say it you're a narc and now I
29:10feel weird you should have said it in the confines of the car I feel likeyou're amongst friends it's not bugged it's not a friend I don't know who thisguy is what if he pulls like a mission impossible right that's animpractical Joker scene get the guy in a car see if you can get him to say then-word within 30 minutes yeah so that was a spicy deep dive into the into Texaswell I don't want to cast dispersion to this guy because they might be able totrace back here's the thing I'm worried about what if someone goes someone fromthe you know the people that work for the club listened before but the hotel so
29:47what if they go hey let's find out who his driver was get him can so I maybe Ishouldn't even been saying this that's out now well but he's a nice guy and hewas quoting he's an old-school guy you could tell it wasn't malice he was justlike this guy was in my car and he was saying this right right I get it I'mjust saying it's weird to hear that nowadays because you're like Jesus Christyeah yeah yeah gotta be careful sir of course of course thank God he's not acomedian who but who knew this is the the infamous Tony Hinchcliffe weekend ohguys going comedians can't say shit and you're like well just give it two hours
30:20and we might have a new culprit well that's the other thing is I had justgotten off the plane taking it off airplane mode and somebody had sent thatto me so this was all happening at the same time so any any jizz so we're inthe car then we're driving up 6th Street which has now become a lot of homelesspeople oh a lot ref yeah did you notice that oh yeah quite a scene there and Isaid to him and this is a little careful stepping because it was after the othertalk and I went hey let's look at a little more spicy here and he's like ohyeah they just passed a law but they're not enforcing it yet but these 10 because
30:56it's tense everywhere right at just hundreds and hundreds of unfortunatefolks sure sure a lot of drugs a lot of drugs feel for them empathy but like anygood liberal I want to support and I care about them they deserve our empathyand help yes but I don't want to near me right before to help from you know thatis the liberal way a distance yeah here's a couple bucks someone figure thatout yeah get it not my backyard right so we're driving up and he goes yeah yougotta be careful around here it's a little crazy and I'm seeing like peoplejust openly doing drugs yelling screaming walking right in front of the
31:34car like pretty wild yeah it's like 5 in the afternoon 6 in the afternoon orevening whatever you call it anyways I'm telling this long story long so hedrops me off and I go all right great I go upstairs check in beautiful hotel allexcited go get eat some food text Rebecca I say hey I'm gonna come over to thecreek tonight yeah why not and I go I'll walk I look it up 8 minute walk rightdown 7th Street East gotta walk a few blocks east of the hotel I start walkingnice and quiet dark no big deal what is a Tuesday this is Tuesday night I'mheading to the 10 o'clock show so it's about 950 I'm gonna get there early
32:13hang out get to know myself or get to know whatever the fuck get to know thepeople but 9 o'clock I'm walking now you know the city pretty well between thehotel there's two big parking lots one on the right side yep one on the left andthey're both empty it's Tuesday night no one has any business so it's justpitch black wide open spaces and you hear like a little like street sounds likeoh boy this is getting a little little nervous little on edge you know I'vespent a lot of time in my life in the city so I know I'm street smart you'retingling a little yeah spidey senses I'm going all right I'm not a hick here I'm
32:51a city guy so I go all right this is looking a little thanks you get thehead in the swivel and you're ready to rock and I get in front of this bigparking lot pitch black no cars and I see two shadowy figures and a thirdshadowy figure on a bicycle BMX hate the bike don't like a bike but from adistance I was like they're just drinkers they're stumbling home and then I got alittle close and I'm still like 200 yards away and I'm like shit they're notdrinkers I can tell by the way they're walking ones and should they look alittle haggard they walk in a little fucked up they've seen some better days
33:23and as we start to get closer 50 yards I'm like these are some street guys ohboy street tufts and then the BMX guy takes a wide turn out in the parking lotand I'm just keeping an eye because I haven't seen them communicate togetherbut he's taking this wide loop so I got an eye on him and he starts kind ofcircling back my direction but still some distance now we're closing in andthese two guys are coming as they get closer I see I start to make them outand they just look beat up they're fucked up a little limpy little fucked updrugs and I'm thinking you know they're on drugs you need money if you have a
34:03drug habit you're homeless yep any money's good money I'm walking hey I gotmoney look at me and you got glasses you're not a towner and not a lot of alot of skinny hulanky honkeys walk around at this hour right now you know I'mwearing you know jean whatever by look at me I have money I mean I'm not I'm notliving in the streets so derelict so they're getting closer so I just andthey're taking up the whole sidewalk so I just step off the sidewalk and walkalong now that was a bad move a beta move they didn't like that because theyperceive that is look at this white motherfucker what you what you racist
34:39mother and I'm just quoting here yeah and they go you racist motherfucker gettingoff the side well look at this motherfucker and and it was like Jay andsilent Bob there was a taller guy he was the leader yeah then the shorts guy whatguy was it sure he was just kind of fucked up he wasn't responding at allmaybe a little and he's like yeah mother fuck and he kind of stopped here anddid like a look and I just kept walking and didn't say anything whatever thatlook but I'm off the sidewalks then I moved back onto the sidewalk like maybeI was just trying to give him space I wasn't trying to but also you keep your
35:11distance and then the bike guy he comes around over here all of a sudden thisbike guy is back over here and I'm like I don't like this then I come up to thisthing that's called the arch which is a famous homeless shelter I guess everyonesaid arch over at arch so I get to the light the red light the intersection andthere's about 25 homeless folks and they're not sleeping begging for moneythey're active they're yelling it's like glasses smashing it's just a sceneand I'm like I don't feel like walking through that it's a whole thing it'sit's a whole thing you know I don't know if I'm in danger whatever it is and then
35:53I look on that corner and there's about 15 people over there they're having ahang yeah so I'm like I don't want to walk through the middle of the streetbecause that was already initially stepped off the sidewalk so I look to theleft and it's up into this parking lot it's just pitch black over there and tothe right if I go right that's 6th Street which is where the driver and thelady at the hotel was like that's where everybody is you want to avoid that okayso I go hmm well this isn't looking good a rock and a hard anal so I crossed thestreet and just start walking back I'm bailing and I'm so close I can see the
36:27creek but I'm just going that felt like an incident what am I doing I'm not evenbooked on the show I'm just going down there to say hello there's 30 people overhere and it's rocking and rolling they're fighting over whatever so I go youknow what I'm gonna walk back maybe I'll take an Uber so I start walking back upon this side of the street I'm walking back up the street and I noticed theother two are walking away but all of a sudden they stop boy then here comesbicycle guy and he starts coming up and he uses his feet on the cement to breakooh so it's like a and he also has an umbrella across the thing which could be
37:05a weapon who knows what what the hell is he a Batman villain so he pulls up andthen just kind of breaks and stops here as I continue to walk and we have like aneye contact and I'm just like okay just keep going up a little because now Iknow he's behind me and I can hear I'm listening don't hear any movement so Idon't know where he is now at this point you must be thinking like it's on likethis is about to go down something's going down well I'm just thinking theheart's racing a little bit I got a lot of meditation anxiety nothing'shappening yet just be cool everything's fine maybe you're just freaking out you're
37:36an anxious guy but then as luck has it I think these two turned and saw me walkingback this way so they cross directly at me and a guy goes you wouldn't befollowing anybody would you can I just say this is you're in Texas it's latethis feels like a Western you got the guy on the bike which is like a horsethen he's got his two dumb drunk guys with the jug with the X's on it andthey're like oh yeah and then the guy's the alpha and he's he's like a shittybandit or something you know and he's just mocking you and following you andhe's got nowhere to go and you're you ain't from around here boy like all
38:12that shit and you're like the weird farmer who's like kind of lost that'swhat it was like and so he said you wouldn't be following us and I put upboth hands and said oh no sir I'm just lost I went sir I went hey hands up I'mnot here to do anything I said I'm just lost and I tried to give him the thisis you this is your spot I'm an asshole fuck me and he goes yeah you better belost and then I tried to kind of once again I step off the side go this wayand he starts and then it now the heart starts really racing because I knowthere's a guy behind me these two it's our second run in they came across to
38:47that confront me and he's like you better fucking be law and then said severalother obscenities yep and they start coming yes so that he starts he's heardit a lot already coming close I know I've heard it from every character I'vebumped into has said it and then what a lady would she threw one outunexpectedly well you know those scooters they have the uber scooter the birdthere was one of those and he kicked that with some with some guff and wasreally letting the explicitives fly so that at that moment I went take care combyour hair and I just went full run I said fuck this I'm out of here I don't
39:25know what's going on with this but I'm not sticking around to find out wentfull run never look back this is the most embarrassing part I get a block up andI'm in a full run I just see like two hipsters and skinny jeans holding handslike fedora just heading that direction and I'm like am I a cunt what's wrongwith me I'm a piece of shit but you know you didn't know why take the risk that'show I feel Rogan agrees like he did the right thing you gotta get out of thereand I talked to Diego Lopez he's like oh fuck a street fight you gotta get out ofthere the whole point of training is to is to be a little bit safer yes and if
39:58you can run you're safe so I got the fuck out of there texted Rebecca she'slike I'll send security I was like I'm good it's an omen I'm going to bed Godbless you I'll see you tomorrow night and the next night I told Rogan's I'llgive you a ride so he picked me up he's got onto Raj we rode in the Tesla wasvery excited never been in a Tesla first Tesla experience it's pretty wild rightpretty fun there's a goddamn movie screen there is a movie screen it doesn'tchange gears the seats are made out of marshmallows or some shit that it'squiet as a cum guzzler it's a beautiful thing we gotta throw some yeah yeah I
40:27didn't want to interrupt the the saga you know I feel bad it wasn't funny Istink oh that was I was on edge I felt like I was watching a what is it Quinntupplet to zero care of the zero no carry the zero zero to tend to Yumaall three didn't you pretend to you I was trying to think of that guy when yousaid Ben what's that so good God he's good oh he's good so good what boy ifyou had him with you it would have been a different story oh yeah Tuesdays heywe're brought to you by Express VPN most people don't get to choose theirinternet service provider in most areas is only one option that's how they get
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44:21and get a couple of acres but who knows but I grew up mowing lawns I grew up ina goddamn dilapidated mansion we had the football field in the back I had to cutthat puppy with a unelectric mower what do you call that unelectric non regularmotor mower a clipper mower a natural natural organic or organic CBD what isthat gluten-free mower I don't know but it was it was a regular old mower and thatthing was I had one glass of lemonade I got eight cents if I did it I grew up inthe 40s it was a whole different world back then is your lawn a little gingerwatch it thrive with your own custom lawn care plan from Sunday it's like a meal
45:04kit for your grass get all the nutrients your lawn needs and nothing else it'sall natural baby and let me tell you your grass will eat this up and look betterthan ever you'll be rolling green nothing looks better than a good manicurelawn out there it can really change the the layout of the house and the wholelook of the hood whether you're in California or Kalamazoo you'll get aformula for healthy green growth just go to get sunday.com put in your homeaddress and get free lawn analysis this is the future of gardening folks yeah whynot it we got our own weed strain we got the food we like we got the booze we like
45:36we get the the drugs we like get the lawn you like and do something good for thelawn you know you're feeding your cat goddamn prime beef how about the lawn Idon't know what that means but it's made with real ingredients that you canactually pronounce like seaweed iron and molasseslawns eating better than I am plus it's Father's Day coming up so tell them whatto do there tubby I got this from my father by the way he loves it let Sundaytake the guesswork out of growing a greener more beautiful lawn this springvisit get sunday.com slash Tuesdays to get $20 off your first custom lawn plan
46:11at checkout that's $20 off your first custom plan at get sunday.com slashTuesdays yes all right nicely done I gotta give you a quick clicker pleasegive me a click so as we're talking by the way I'm worried about the driver shouldI not have told that story no you're fine you're fine it's funny he's a nice guyhe probably drives well drove very well so this morning we're recording this lateMonday night we gotta thank Shelby for staying up he's burning the midnight oilgetting this up there she'll go he's an insomniac so great TV show thank you soI get picked up this morning 5 a.m. still pitch black outside get picked up nice
46:54lady throw the thing in the trunk slam the door we pull up it's like a woodyAllen movie huh driving up the street 5 a.m. pitch black who do I see old lankyand shorts right next to the parking lot right where they got me I must have beenright in their home I saw him this morning wait wait wait wait the muggersthe costors the guy why didn't mug me the guys I said the airport no on thehotel because it happened two blocks in the hotel I'm driving up and they'reright there I would recognize I pick them out of a lineup I was like that's themthey're right there and it really like actually humanized them more because you
47:35just see them like they're two little buddies just hanging out so they're justloser homeless weirdos well I take out loser but they're just retarded I don'tknow they're idiots I mean it's like when you see the bully with his dad andcome here you fucking fat cunt that he's slapping the kid around like oh dadyou're like oh wow this is this human yeah I think they're just they're justpaired off their couple of pals they fell on some hard times but you see them andI did it was like straight out of anything else that Woody Allen movie withJason Biggs like as I'm leaving I see like Kristina Stinky yeah and I just
48:09see him and I did this move and watched him and I'm like that's for sure themsame outfits I guess they don't have a lot of wardrobe but I saw that the bigshorts the littler guy and the big tall guy with the whatever that thing is cornrow like a nylon hat skull cap a skull cap do rag do rag thing yeah whatever itis a hair net it looked like a hair net ah yes hair net but it was funny to belike there they are there's those two guys and it did feel like it's just Peteand Jim or whatever yeah what were they doing digging through the garbage oreating each other out it was hard to tell cuz we're moving they looked like
48:42they were facing the water I don't know if they're peeing or looking for a playor just kind of chatting or whatever but I was like that's most definitely themdid you give him a dude dude hey dickless you should have beat me up when you hadthe chance nice bike come stay no I didn't say anything and I didn't tellthe story but I felt like Gordy the chance when he saw the deer I was like Inever spoke of it until you know right now when I told 80,000 people wow but itwas something yeah what a full sirk full sirks just lay John was a layhim I think he's in LA going down on a guy but he was a funny cat and got great
49:19hair and a scientist yes like we're so let me be a two partner I'm sorry I seeall these notes I got 20 I haven't even got to the bar amount we got 10 minutesleft I'm sorry oh my god I write everything down so half of this is notthat I can speed through 14 things so let me just do up the big one I'm gonnado the big cheese and then move on with my life yeah please I'll go I'll get into Texas next week I'll do Texas next week too well all right well what do yougot you got a I'll do a little nugget do a nugget that's my main nug okay well mymain nug is is told it comes so maybe I'll save that too I don't know if I can
49:50not get another main no because they like your main nugs I mean we got 10minutes here all right all right I'm saving so as I already know I'm gonnaget a scolding here but I can't say no and I got to start saying no cuz I hadthe worst travel day of my entire life oh boy I can't even I don't want to hearshould I leave the room maybe solo maybe you should cuz I'm embarrassed alreadyand I hate my anal and all this shit so so I'm supposed to go to SalisburyMaryland for a gig oh wow that sounds like a high-paying gig you know I workedit out with these kids these queefs out in Maryland you know over DM and I'm
50:28blah blah blah made a deal would do two shows but we can sell out too okay herewe go two days before the gig I had to cancel and I realized I already madeplans for another gig oh boy so they hate me they're like oh my god we'vebeen promoting the whole town's a buzz we got billboards with your name but wemade t-shirts and bumper stickers like ah shit I feel horrible but I alreadyplanned this other gig I'll tell you what Nicholas I'll give you another week sowe bumped it up two weeks and I said I swear to God I'll be there whatever andthey go okay you're making it up we appreciate it and then of course the
51:01day comes and whoa boy did I regret this so I shoot this drumming video allday drumming yeah this kid made a drumming video of me my stand up and hedrummed to it like to the beat it was pretty great this kid's like a drummingJosh he's like this drumming virtuoso phenom savant hey Josh yeah so I startgoing hey this is a great video and he goes oh yeah I'm a fan of comedy well andI go we should do a video together we're on stage together and he goes I wouldlove that so then we get together and I say well why don't we just shoot a wholeday of shit in the park and all this and make us like a little sketch okay so we
51:38spend the whole day shooting this thing we do the stand we do the video it's awhole nine-hour shoot then me and Sam go do a pod at like 10 30 at night that goesto 1 a.m. then the next day I gotta go to Salisbury Maryland which includesgetting on an Amtrak to Baltimore even though I just got back from Baltimorethat weekend getting on Amtrak to Baltimore I'm on no sleep then Umar Khanfunny comic out of Baltimore is gonna pick me up and we're gonna drive twohours to Salisbury okay and this is a gig in Salisbury which is a college townapparently there's some normal school there you've heard of I can't think of
52:16right now Maryland maybe that's itMaryland University I don't know that's not in Salisbury that's in like Annapolisthere's some kind of school there that people have heard of it's a college townand it's like on the on this big restaurant on the river kind of thingand so I was like all right so the night before my buddy Eric is texting me Ericman Park Norman shooter the whole thing he goes hey you're better off taking abus to Philly which is like an hour and a half then I'll drive us and I'll filmthe whole thing wow that's nice yeah and I said all right great so I jump in the
52:53car with I do that so now I got to call them they cancel the train whatever so Iget on the bus go to meet Eric man I go sleep on the bus I don't sleep on thebus I get in the car with man he picks me up in Philly we drive to three hours toSalisbury we get there two shows it's a bit of a haul it's a drunk mess I kind ofbomb on the second one a lot of Tuesday's headlocks these guys are boozing Itry to sell some shirts the openers get they were super nice they were superfunny they got a little drunk and I did the second show and I was like I got toget out of here and I just did the second show I ran out the door and it was
53:29one of those things were umars like they're looking all over for you wherethe hell did you go I'm like I had to go I did the show I left so now I'm likewhat do I do do I go back to Philly and sleep on Eric man's couch or do I try toget back to Baltimore and get a train now it's one in the morning two in themorning so I say fuck it'll sleep on his couch I'll get it a bus at 7 a.m. so I'malready on no sleep there was a whole day of shooting now we've been drinkingnow we're back in Philly and now we get to Philly about 2 a.m. okay but I gottaget back to New York the next day to fly to Texas oh you're flying on the next
54:08day yeah boy I really pushed it here so I we get to Philly now we're circling hisneighborhood because he's got to park the rental car yeah it's a nightmare thenI got to wake up at 7 get on the bus to Philly get to New York get to JFK a busand a plane the same day same day oh it can be done folks I can rally normallynormally I can rally but this was a tough one so we get to Philly at 2 a.m. we'recircling he lives in in city center center city whatever it's a really cutelittle it's like the village of Philly hmm and it's right under that bridge it'sbeautiful so we can't find parking finally Eric's a Jew for Manhattan he's
54:50like I can't really parallel park that well and I was like well if you want meto do it I can do it but we find a spot right in front of his housemiracle and I was like it's pretty tight and it was one of those parallels whereyou're you're paralleling on that side of you okay so it's a little harder sothat on that side what's that you're bad on that side he is he is so he's pullingI'm like all right you got it you got it you got it and he pulled in too hard andhe hit the butt on the curb and I said yeah you got to pull it out and rejuke itpulls it out paint scrapes up man this is a just really gave it the oh Jesus it's
55:31two in the morning we're on no sleep we've had a couple of beers I got ashit myself I want to get some sleep I hate myself it's a prince of nightmarewell the thing is that sleepy is like the equivalent of drinking yeah they sayif you're on no sleep like right now I'm like six beers in this is my seventhyeah yeah so now it's a whole another bag of hammers now it's we got to hidethe rental we got to hide the body we got to kill your wife we got to figuresomething out and get some sleep on top of it whoo so he goes hey pulls it outit's just that you know that thing where you hit the car and you're up against the
56:05car and now you got to pull out more to get off the car right it's like Garthwith the screwdriver what a what a weird analogy but I got it I know but one ofthe funniest moments so good so so he pulls out and now we're now we'redriving and he's going oh my god I'm gonna call my dad what do I do here oh myhe's a nice boy you know so he's like oh I can't believe that like it's two inthe morning we got to stay on shape stay in focus so now we're looping aroundagain he's like I'll just put in the garage what are we gonna do we got asneak back in with the neighbor we gotta climb the tree go through the window he
56:41can't see us because barely that's a neighbor's car so maybe I'm giving awaytoo much information because some neighbors probably like who did it thathe hears this I feel like we're ruining multiple lives as I said shit if this guygets fired and this guy gets arrested I mean we're gonna have to kill ourselvesyeah I know I know this is bad all right well we're deep in but so now we'refinally find a spot five blocks away and I go let me park it we part Iparallel park that puppy right in there thank you oh yeah which he filmedpark parallel park Norman we get it in we take our shit we walk up now he gets
57:19out and he's like hey this isn't so bad I mean it's got the big on it and he getsa little water out of my water bottle he's doing a little that and it's prettygood it's a lot of scuff oh it's scuff but there is some crinkles scuff is goodscrape is bad scrape is bad not a lot of scrape but a good crinklewell that was cute so now we walk back is like what do I do do I leave a note doI write a letter to my congressman do I call the police do I call a FEMA so wego upstairs we try to go to bed it's tossing and turning I can hear himpraying to the Lord and going west I wish I could take back what I've done and
57:57I've sinned and Allah take me so we finally doze off there's the alarm wegotta wake now we gotta get our fat asses up we go out we see the car it's gotthe hole the other car it's got the whole kitten on the side we're doing thisshit you know we're trying to be casual we don't know whose car this is we'redoing a lot of that and it comes up pretty good although our sleeves are allwhite and gay it looks like we've got bukkake and I jump on the buzz I get backto New York I kiss the lady she goes hey where you been I got a long story Igotta go now I grab another bag I mean I can't imagine this woman she needs a
58:38support group I know I don't blame right I got made her a mannequin of myself tookyou can slap it around so jump grab another suitcase that's bigger I fillthat with dildos and guitar picks and I crap that fucking play in a JFK and Iget to Texas and the rest is history oh my god I mean this is horrible it makesme it gives me like the willies I can't handle it you gotta get an assistant yeshere's what I want you to do I want you to go out get an assistant for six bucksan hour someone you know with a pair of balls of tits or whatever sure that canhelp you scoop and boop whatever yes and then get yourself a nice car not a nice
59:18car shit like a Chevy spark something to throw up your mother's ass that you canjump in and drive to Salisbury steak because it's great you're on a bus Imean you're doing very well you shouldn't be on a bus to a plane the bus was thebest option ironically but I'm with you when I was on that thing I was like thisis not where I should be buy a car for like 11 grand or whatever I mean it isless I know there might be cars for six grand or whatever the fuck but somethingreliable don't go by a fucking 1941 you know Pontiac Duesenberg yeah just get anice yeah you know a Toyota a fucking Chevy my ballsack yeah whatever I got
59:58you I got you buy something nice and whatever something yeah somethingyou know what's reliable yes and you throw it in the thing and then you got agig in a 300 mile radius you pop in you drive over there you fuck your mother inexactly yeah you probably but then you got to park it that's the other thingpark Norman you got to keep it in the city you got to move it every eightminutes all the street sweepers coming it sucks but it's better than taking a busand I don't even I don't know this Eric man is he sounds made up I don't trustthe further than I can throw him now he's a cute kid nice guy let me crash on
01:00:28the couch and you know it felt like it felt like the 40s again with yourfriend like oh we broke the window with the baseball what are we gonna do youknow it was that feeling again but I think we made it work the guy's not gonnanotice it for 10 more years and he'll shit a brick when he sees it but it wasit was subtle enough we made it back we made every gig but I'll tell you youknow you get on that plane to Texas I'm at I'm at JFK I'm like oh my throatstarting to hurt I got Ebola you know you got on a plane now you're now you'reon a plane like this you know with no sleep or try to sleep luckily I get to
01:01:04Texas I don't want to get to a new because we got to wrap up but the guytexts me before I'm getting on the plane goes you want anything for yourgreen room and I go it's gonna sound weird but I want heavy drugs give me aXanax give me a sleeping pill a propa fall a Xanapan as whatever killed MichaelJackson give me that and he was like you got it I was like all right great so Igot there he had me a baggie full of horse tranquilizers and I put those in mydick hole and went to bed I slept for like 13 hours yeah that's how I feelright now I'm just wiped it I gotta get up in the morning and drive to Maryland
01:01:38ironically or Virginia whatever one of them yeah that's close sure for loversboth the Baltimore suburbs oh that's right the DMV DC suburbs whateverand he just those are some tales I mean I gotta get a lot more about Texas you gotTexas next week's gonna be all Texas I mean this is a controversial episode I'min my head I missed half things you said cuz I'm worried about the driver whoseemed like a nice guy yeah he's good he's doing Rogan in a week what weshould do is record again this week while we're here you're you get a littlerest a little relaxation I can regroup I'm barely here though I'm the thing so
01:02:16tomorrow morning I get up as the people are listening I'm driving to Virginia tofilm a thing tomorrow I gotta drive five hours film for four hours and drive backfive hours holy dick and I would stay but I was just gone for six days I missedmy goddamn wife she's 78 years old she's not gonna live much longer what wait isshe going with no she's got her own business and I'm shooting some things somaybe myself and then I get back I have Wednesday here and then Thursday I goto Mohegan Sun this weekend with the great Matt Wayne I haven't I've beenwaiting to do this gig for two years now comics roadhouse and then next
01:02:50Wednesday back in Royersford again wow three new minutes but I'm bringingfriends I'm bringing some heavy artillery oh yeah if you know what I mean ohbald balding clear loud and queer it ain't Rogan but taller yeah and MattWayne's coming to that one too and he ain't gonna sell any tickets though sospecial guest gotta be a big show so get your tickets go hit up Royersford soulJoel's and if you're in New England comics this weekend Mohegan Sun comeout let's game we'll hit the roulette wheel together wait a minute this is aticket slip sip you're not gonna like it but I gotta throw it out there and just
01:03:32shoot me down on air so we don't even do it because it's gonna be a clinker upyour your stinker we're both gonna be in Connecticut this weekend yes all rightjust say we could meet up and shake hands and touch decks and well maybe ifyou had the Chevy spark I'm talking about me a little easier but I'm gonnahave to drive to you 45 minutes each way which is possible it's possible maybeSaturday the three of us we meet halfway you take an Uber who's I got I got hotDoug Key over there hi tail on all over CT maybe we'll do a Doug Key Matt WayneJoe Listmark Norman hang that midday hell of a queef yeah I like it
01:04:14down low but yeah yeah all right all right this is something to think aboutbut you know we're gonna be bored you don't hang out no gunk when well what'sit on Unkinsville I never had to say it I think yeah I think you got it well Igot roulette wheels up the ass well you're gonna lose all your cheese in onenight you're gonna shirt your shirts gonna come off so at the second nightmaybe you should ask a doodle over to Hartford well if someone's comingsomewhere I mean let's be on I mean they don't even need to ask the audienceyou're in Hartford which is the shittiest place on the planet I'm at a
01:04:44casino yeah good point I don't mind throwing a little craps around get DougKey now we'll all play we'll take over a blackjack table ruin everybody's nightwe'll secretly film on the fly that's pretty good and by the way you know ifChuck hears this he's gonna come up oh he's no Englandgay Chuck get your ass up there Chuckie cheese this is gonna be wild and finallysome exposure for MW I mean this guy yeah he's holding on by a thread for God'sI think he's a garbage man at this point but I don't know what he does for aliving but either way I do he's a physical therapist that's right yeah he
01:05:17cured my back so yeah all right we gotta wrap this thing up where you gonna beyou said your dates I already said them I'm also gonna be at soul Joel's on the16th I believe and Hartford please tickets are horriblespoke cans looking all right I'm down in Houston I'm in San MarcosSan Antonio I'm back in Houston I was in a I was in a suburb of Houston just nowso I love Texas I can't stop going and where am I also shit in my mouth theToledo Dayton I'm in some weird markets so God no Syracuse Portland God knows Ineed you so come on out say hello and praise Allah we love you queep it up
01:06:01Georgie
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