Tuesdays with Stories! - #403 Behind The Beam

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

Got a big traveling ep this week folks as Mark races to JFK for his flight to Spokane while Joe performs through storms and trains at SoulJoel's. Check it out! Check out our new merch here! Shirts, stickers, phone cases, mugs, you name it! https://www.teepublic.com/user/tuesday-s-with-stories Sponsored by: BLUBlox (blublox.com/tuesdays) & Lucy (lucy.co code: tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy here we are folks it's Tuesday I'm gay the cat's dead here we are it's a beautiful memorial day out here in NYC let's play ball what a day for a ball

game let's play to oh is this plugged in I didn't see a blink blink blink blink it was a delayed blink yeah yeah and the cat's ass is already it's like the cat knows it immediately moves its asshole right onto the microphone it's pulling like a full Bert Reynolds here it's all spread out it's it's a gut showing all the nips are exposed have you been watching the story of late night on CNN I haven't it's pretty fun I does that it's like one of those the 70s and the 60s and all those talking head type of shows but it's the whole story of late night and it's nothing we don't know but it's fun to see all the footage and

there's some weird rare jokes and you see Joan Rivers do the thing and then Arsenio clips and then there's like a Leno Leno on Letterman it's on it's a lot of great stuff it's really sweet and I'm in pretty good that's how you know I like comedy we like comedy because my gal is like oh I love comedy and then I put that on and she's like she goes Cosby on me I'm like you say you like comedy where I'm a fucking nerd I'll watch anything with the I'll watch fucking Louis Anderson eat a sandwich well that's the thing is you just as soon as it start in my mind I'm like ah CNN's annoying I don't want to watch the thing

and then you just see a clip and you're like alright everyone shut up it's on you know you just love those clips and you get so excited and but don't part of me gets so bummed because you're talking about Conan and you have Letterman and Leno and the battles and the thing and their manager and the beat and you go we because of the way things have changed and gone and the decisions we've made we can never be that we have no chance of being a network host no well do you want to be yeah you'd be pretty good at buying a job fatty I mean you're out there every day looking at notes going okay well we're doing the B story on on two

four six eight who do we appreciate I mean that the thing would be hell but I understand that but it's the principal that you can't I mean it's the classic conversation of like you want to be a TV host you're like not really but the principal I hear you because it's not something I'm longing to do but if say you know Johnny whippersnapper saw you or said at the funny bone and went I'm the fucking president of CBS yep you're what we've been looking for we want you to take over for Dave Letterman or whoever hosted of Stephen Colbert who I can't stand on that show yeah but you go I want you to take over for Stephen Colbert

you're the new host certainly you'd think about it but you can't because this 500 podcast of us saying fuck a kid but you know it's a good point black is whatever it's the same with a with a gal you're like hey I like to not that I want to fuck her but I have no chance right no chance the principal you can't fuck the principal you gotta fuck the vice yeah Mr. Belding yes no vice principal and say by the bell we didn't have one of my school it do you need a vice prince well the vice prince where I come from back in my neck of the way the vice principal does the the discipline yeah the principal is like a figurehead

he's like a he's just a douche up front now I went to Catholic High and we had a disciplinarian there's no scarier guy on the planet than a display this guy was four foot one he had a Hitler mustache and he would always walk around doing this his pants were never up his name was coach Heinz and if he came in you could be a six five black guy quarterback NFL and he was like oh Mr. Heinz don't don't touch me don't hurt me I thought he was terrifying I thought he was black with the pants pulling up no you would just hike you know the older guys just keep hiking them up pants like yeah we had we had Edwin P. Walsh and he was a

tough guy I mean he was he was he was in 5-1 or anything I think he did a pants hike a couple times I can't remember but he was a big son of a bitch he was like 6'4 and stiff he was one of those like oh yeah pull up the asshole right and he could he had some beef on him I mean he could fuck you up and knock your head together and then there was another one but I can't remember cuz he was mine and I got into some business to my later years oh really he was scary I mean he was the kind of guy that would handcuff you and fuck your mother in front of you to I've seen the type and I've jerked off to it but yeah I mean those guys were so

scary Edwin P. Warrell or whatever it's false false that guy that that guy better be stiff because you're not gonna get a fun cat with name Edwin no and then the principal was mr. gay oh he's gonna break your glasses oh god coach gay easy I never seen that happen he literally pushed it with his hand oh yeah like he did like a like he was like sliding it over like Costanza with the bill he's a bit of a diva this cunt oh it's interesting how he moves yeah just in the middle of the thing you think he'd just whatever he's a star fucker he's a you know fan of the camera I'm trying to think of the other vice principal but

the principal how about this what do you think of this the principal was also the wrestling coach whoa he's like a Hall of Fame wrestling coach coach gay coach gay yeah and I mean and they were like I got a coach to get the gay out of me he was a diet they were a dynasty our wrestling when we had wrestling track football we were like unbelievable and he would win to go to the championship every year the whole thing talk about involved huh this guy's in every extra correct well it's so weird that your coach is the principal because my coach coach black he was a gym teacher in like the middle school that joining town mm-hmm

I can't imagine seeing my coach like with a suit on yeah that's true strange especially a wrestling coach because he's like alright put me in a half Nelson put your thumb check my oil and then the next day he's like alright don't be running in class or whatever right but also it's kind of a conflict of anal there with the hey the star wrestler just just rape the the teenage whore here and but we got to kick him out but we need him on the meat but that's the thing I'm like because there's no discipline maybe that's why he couldn't discipline you discipline because I'm too gay coach gay whoa it was beginning

gay this guy's going full mount here yeah we got a yoga situation I mean it's back leg is up it's licking its pussy wow man that's a that's a male he's like the tool cover this is coach gay but yeah yeah that's interesting man it's it's funny how just being an adult anybody could have taken coach Hines I mean this guy was he was like Danny DeVito type right but just the intimidation factor was so serious with this guy he was like a beat cop it'll mustache and he was pulling the pants up but he had you know fucking poker stare that'll don't look at me after you lick the old shaft there he just really sucked

his own dick with the the absorbent tongue yeah he's putting on some lipstick over here but he's back out I could see the tongue of the dick connecting which my my ex could do this we would have stayed together this is a family show my friend you clean it up on my show who animal planet just took a turn and maybe got a new hire I don't like that he's looking at me it's making me uncomfortable well you know he's got us gotta focus on a visual while he stimulates the old becker what do you think of this my wife has done this twice maybe I talked about this before she gave me an eye contact fart like

looked in the eye was like I can't do an eye contact far I don't even appreciate any fart yeah I gotta I gotta stick my my tongue and lips and thumb in that asshole sure sure the magic thumb but holy hell I mean that's an alpha move it really was and I saw I've disciplined you before on this eye contact if you want to find because I'm not gonna be one of these fucking assholes that like if my wife farts in front of me I punch her in the face and throw it down the sure sure because that seems strange yeah and uncomfortable don't get me wrong I don't want to you know take a shit on my chest when I'm sleeping no

so the Owen bent no who did that a rental there was a football player who likes a good chest shitting oh I know you're talking about Antonio Brown maybe that's a brownishly yeah that's too on the on the chest oh that guy's name not Beckham oh I know Odell Odell Beckham Odell Beckham yeah the Giants guy yes yes all right sorry he's I think he's a number two player yeah anyways I forget what it's gonna say what's the fart situation in the relationship I caught her farting once she apologized for a month I wrote a letter to the congressman she never did it again but she's a little lady about

she's like oh my god I'm so sorry I can't believe I let what slip I'm sorry she bought dinner for a week yeah some are ashamed well Sarah didn't fart in front of me for three years and then she crouched down like a catcher and then it just came out it was like she was like Rick Sarone and then bent her knees and just went boop and then she was like oh my god I'm so sorry kind of crouching tiger hidden deadly but after that it kind of just became an open hey every once in a while you're far because she'll say god I'm in pain I'm sorry I shouldn't fart and I'll say hey let it out I mean what we're living a life here

sure can't I think these guys that suppress their ladies farts are bad people I think it's a little toxic male and a little toxic air but farting in front of a guy is the same as crying in front of a woman for us oh like one or two but you do that shit every week it's it gets a little little little shifty in the gender role area is a brilliant analogy I mean you gotta do something with that I mean that is big can I tweet it tweet it I mean I've been doing this show a long time I never heard any kind of wisdom like that you're changing man maybe it's the piano who knows don't get me wrong you're good for a couple of

queens a couple laughs a chuckle a tee he aha but I've never heard wisdom like this I mean I mean this is it still involves farting let's not suck at each other's dick just yet but that's good because well here's where maybe it comes apart a little or maybe it sticks maybe it's because the ladies love a cry like you said if it's occasional a cage and I suppose I could love a fart because if Sarah we're hanging up my niece and nephew and she did a pull my finger and ripped one right and the kids fell on the floor laughing I'd be like that's my that was magical yes so an occasional because I know I've had a couple of big

cries and my wife she's just like you're a man that's a man not afraid to cry you know you're you're you're like you like to fuck and you know you like to watch the godfather but every once in a while you'll throw a cry out there because you're in touch right of the cry if it's occasional if it's occasional and a guy cries is going to look away well I can't not sorry Jesus God you need a little of that yes but if I just went I just stared at it's like the eye contact part this is brilliant I got something here this is big aha this is big it'll probably eat shit you're talking about that's going to hit Greg she's gonna

swing at me that was him sorry sorry she's right across the fucking zoom I mean that's bad hold on hold on we lost the whole fart thing maybe they're dickless we lost this that was the moment of your life all right it's all fur there's like a spine and one rib and a nipple in there there's nothing substantial now I have to say because this involves my wife my wife has a bit about jerking off is y'all's crying but this is different we cry a lot you guys have to jerk off to get your that's your cry that's a little different but I did is a cry compare it's a little different but this is really something which I

think that's also a great analogy yeah that is good but this is interesting because and maybe it's not even a bit but it's a hell of a piece of jizz I'll take it put it on my back and my chest because I need some clean material God I got 20 minutes on Jews so I gotta I gotta loosen up oh my act is atrocious I mean it's literally 100% dick and shit jokes and it's killer stuff but I don't have a single bit right now that doesn't have a dick or a piece of shit involved I'm similar mine mine more goes more controversial with racism and homophobia and all that shit and you're going all dirty filthy pottymouth it's nasty so

what are we gonna do when a old Jed's a millionaire comes knocking on the tonight show window and goes hey fat man we need to know we need a five minutes you got anything well the nice thing about it is I don't have to worry about it you know what I mean it's like the old woody joke where he's like if you see someone drowning are you brave enough to jump in I of course can't swim so I don't concern that's a good I've never heard one of my favorite jokes ever great joke would he but never happen to him the idea he's a good kid yeah stop agent hate he definitely doesn't hate oh he loves him he loves him young and related or

whatever but allegedly I love the guy and we'll scrub that out but his daughter likes him his daughter's all for him by the way yeah one of them one of them the good one all right so what do you say in the head sloppy jalopy what the fuck was I saying so if someone goes hey give us a late night submission I don't have to worry about it because I'm like I got nothing I can't unless unless it's late night with you know fucking Andrew dice clay I got zero I mean I got literally nothing but shit and dick well I think Peter North's got a hot show coming out soon maybe you can be on that but let me ask you could you go hey maybe I take

dick out I put we win and I take poo poo and I put that asshole I mean can you flip and flop I don't know I mean before the COVID I was trying I think we might be out in general I don't know by we I mean me but what do you mean well I say I submitted a couple things and they went out we're a little stocked up on your type right now enough said they just said hey we got too many of people like you that are lined up you're at the back of the line it'll be at least a year and a half or whatever got it oh I don't know not too worried about that we'll see what happens all right moving on oh I got the analogy I think yeah the pollen out

there is really calling or maybe the reflux I mean I just went haywire I was up in my parents house it went pizza ice cream pizza ice cream I think I gave nine pounds I mean I feel like a piece of shit pooch as they say bad news and when I was home I was living well I was really eating salads and you know blowing my mother but the road man well that's not even the road but you're away well this is like my family's heavy drinkers it's stressful so I end up just eating pizza and sometimes you got to avoid eye contact because they're telling you about Aunt Harry coming on uncle Titty whatever so it's it's stressful you're

just stressing the whole time yeah plus your parent I mean I've looked in those cupboards when everyone went to bed I'm not gonna lie to you and it's a toll house it's pizza roll it's Kool-Aid it's tobacco and firearms it's crazy in there plus they got the chocolate chips on the counter like 24 7 my wife blew up like a balloon she looks like Rosie O'Donnell hosted even at the improv I mean it's wild I'm like this show you can get on finally I'm pulling Devos I go hey I'm gonna ruin my wife's life over here yeah it's not about snack wells and Totino's over there I mean I ate a gallon of ice cream for breakfast it's bad I

mean we literally order pizza while eating pizza I'm not even joking like the day before his pizza and some of us are warming up the pizza from the Linwood yeah someone goes well and by someone I mean me is like we had Linwood yesterday why don't we have Puppa Geno's we live I'm not even joking we have pizza over here Puppa Geno pizza and my aunt is putting one slice on top of the other she's it's outside of control it is it's tough if I went there for three months I'd come back looking like you know fucking who's the guy the nose is really funny he's fat he's drunk you see feel that's the guy WC fields if you

know he ate more pizza something this really faded well he's a drinker so that's a tough one but I see what you're saying he's got a big honker and a gin blossom whenever you learn that I learned it on the show from you oh hey how about that they go sitting right here it was tough for me because or fun for me because my house it was like my dad's a vegan my mom's a lesbian my brother's a goth my aunt's a Antifa literally so like it was hell because we had no soda in the house we had no juice it was like a lot of brown rice a lot of tuna a lot of powdered milk oh my all my friends would come over my house and look

at my fridge and I go down I'd slam it shut they're like was that like a yogurt and what is that it's like a half a chicken with just the just the spine up there and a lot of like you know mixed green and vinaigrette it was very health-conscious some some garbanzo beans and all that shit we had no cookie no lunchable no nothing oh that's brutal that sounds awful and that's child abuse a little bit a little bit is there anything to idea of a sketch a black woman named aunt ifa her name's ifa oh I like that I Jim twos had an aunt tifa joke but it makes more sense the black the black one is funny that stinks

it's nothing I just thought maybe you're just everything you say today's gold possibly oh no but I mean it could be like one of those lucky runs we say that's a sketch that's a show that's a hit the craps table or go to Yonkers and hit that roulette while we're riding high but yeah I don't know had nothing fun in the house so I go to your house and I'm like wow that's like Willy Wonka over here and I remember we went out one time we went out to eat with your family we went to some shit box fast food place and I had a miscarriage after that it was just nothing but egg rolls and calzones as far as the eye can see it's wild and

then they got like IPA is also like I don't know how they're alive and they're stressed and I don't think they slept since the 80s I mean it's bad news bears up there they're all gonna drop dead in one swoop at some point yeah they're kind of turning purple over there they're beefy I wonder if they could they could benefit from a soul cycle or elliptical I'm not sure I mean first of all we went bowling we went to the whole gang we went to Abington Timberlain's I'm sore by the way because I always got a goof around I do the thing with the back leg points like a bowler oh yeah like I'm doing that and like I throw it

under my legs I'm a goof you got to do it and now today I think I'm 39 and a half now so my hamstring it feels like somebody shot me in the leg I feel like yeah you know the guy at the end of Fargo oh yeah yeah funny looking guy yeah but general sort of way it's so funny when you go back to Whitman mass it's like a time machine you go back to 1971 it's bowling it's it's beer and and whites oh yeah it's big time it's all those things but oh but anyway some guy tweeted at me is like I think I just saw you or your doppelganger at the bowling alley I'm like oh I've been seen I want to get spotted because I'm in I'm in

sweats I have ketchup on my dick and like I'm like bowling under my legs and I'm pulling my finger that's what they want it's what they think you're acting like I guess so I got bedhead it's embarrassing and then I got a bunch of you know heavyweights pound and beers and and stuck in wings up their ass it's also funny that most guys like I'm on TMZ I'm coming out of a whorehouse and you're like I got busted at Rick's candle candle bowling over there by the way candle pin candle socks it's candle pin I don't understand the game it's big in New England everyone in New England like you got to go it's one of these

classes mini pin yes the ball is tiny it's like this softball and the pins are just like they look like my cock the red stripe around them but it's one of these they're sitting on them classic Boston thing it's very Boston and I love where I'm from I'm proud to wear them from but where everyone's like eyes is the best candle pins the best if you're not going candle pin you're not even bowling and I'm like it's clearly worse yes it's clearly not as good it's not even close it's bumper pool it's special needs it's like the easier version it's socks but it's harder it is harder it's harder it's like a like a softball no

it's way harder because the big ball it hits and the pins go everywhere it's huge just straight on you're automatically getting four pin if you just get down the middle the candle pin you have it in your hand if you've never seen it or played it's like the size of a softball and you whip it I mean I'm like because they have like classic bowling on the fucking classic candle pin it's from the 80s he has a mustache it's funny and they show the guy and I'm watching me he's just gunning it so you're like okay you got a whip it and you whip it and it hits dead on straight and I got my hands in the air because

I'm like that's a strike fuck all your mothers yeah and it hits the one pin because it goes flying and there's nine pins left there I don't understand it I get mad I'm competitive and so all these little kids are beating me somehow their bullshit ball is just rolling slow I hate it and it's inferior I like to put my fingers in the ball you pick out a ball it's heavy you throw a spin on it yes big crashing noise so you did both or you just did candle we just did the candle pin that's what's close to me but everyone in New England's like it's number one I'm gonna get I'll show you the tweets I'll get death threats wow holy

hell these people are crazy and way like give my speech about you know Scott Stephens being better than Bobby or they should they stay stroked hand grenades at your house these people oh boy well let's cut it let's go back to the racial slurs and the epitets alright sorry but I had no idea I thought it was easier so it shows my ignorance we didn't have that shit down sound it was big ball big people no it's very very Boston up there candle pins a big thing and it was fun and I liked it but I'm sorry you had to see that whoever saw me had buffalo sauce all up my face they want that's what they want it's like seeing me falling out

of a bar you know vomiting on myself with a boner like that's what I thought all right now I get seen it eating a salad and people are like oh what a fucking loser he's a feast of fraud yeah now let me throw this at you cuz we're talking about eating horribly I was just in Spokane Washington boy oh boy what a culture shock that I mean it's the exact opposite corner of the country and you know beautiful skies sunny days good weather but man it is just honky methville and brick buildings lower than two stories and Gonzaga right but man it is wild I mean it's like the walking dead out there just white guys with

mustaches and beards of the trucker hat on like a not a cool guy trucker hat like I trucker right where's the app ever oh all right but yeah man but we sold out a couple shows but the green room the guy who runs it is a comic or he was a comic or whatever so he's like he's got the best green rooms in America he has a light on the wall gets the server to come on that's Adam right yes and then when you're done with the server you go and turn it off so you're never going where is that skank what are we doing here I haven't eaten in two weeks I'm hungover I'm gay let's get a cheeseburger in here that's big I only did that gig

one time but I was only in town for like five hours or so but then he's got a couple he's got Bricktown he's got Appleton he's got Tacoma right and they're all great but the green has a chest of drawers and you go and each drawer has a different candy yes love a candy drawer spend the whole week and oh Reese's Twizzler gummy bear Hershey kiss you feel like this would kill Ralphie Bay no he's got the best he's got the video get the arcade Tacoma the whole thing yes yes so yeah just great weekends great great shows and but I gotta say now this is where you come in oh boy 10 a.m. flight out of JFK getting

a Spokane now is a nightmare these flights the COVID the United it's all shit the bed yeah and we're like backs everything's packed and full the whole thing I just drove back traffic up my ass yeah so I had a real real cluster snafu so I go all right 10 a.m. flight gotta be there for nine get an Uber at 815 45 minutes to get to JF okay so far I'm with you all right I hate JF we all hate JF but that was the only place providing a flight to Spokane okay so I go all right that's about 810 let me call the UB I live in New York it'll should be here in three minutes or less oh boy Uber $150 Uber is outrageous my

story I take an Uber it's an $85 Uber from here to my house what we live in the same city oh my lord that is bananas so I go what that let me check lift you know assuming lift will be like 60 bucks lift is a hundred 48 I go what the hell they're in cahoots this whole thing's a racket I'm not doing it so I should have just gotten a cab but cabs are hard these days cabs are nowhere to be seen because a COVID Uber flushed them out no cabs so now Uber came in killed the cab and then jacked it up yes exactly so I go fuck this whole rig of a roll I'm taking the a-train okay I'm still with you okay but here's the clinker yeah you get

your big fat luggage I got 18 piles of merch I got a clan hood I got everything of dildo so I get down to the 8 train you know it's a hole to do we got to go down the stairs and everything it's rush hour you get the Lefferts train Lefferts you know this is this is I'm inside New York shit there's two train there's two a's one goes to Lefferts garden one goes to JFK it's called the Rockaway but it keeps coming with the Lefferts so eventually you get the Rockaway now I've lost 11 minutes right so now it's 831 oh boy and I got this is not good finally you get all the way out there 8,000 crazy people come on every

ethnicity every size every race every Jew everything finally we get to JFK but no it ain't JFK it's the air train I've had I've been beat by the air train before yes yes we've all been beaten so then you got to change your card up got to get that certain air train card then they get on the air train you got to wait for the air train now we all pile on the air we've all met each other we've had we've doing a podcast we've met each other it's all I'm with the same crew it's all pipes yeah everybody with a dumb dumb luggage on the train we've all gotten to know each other we've blown each other we had a relationship it was

good we fell in love it fell out of love we got divorced now we're on the air train I'm looking at my watch I'm like wow it's 915 oh my god 915 I don't know what I was thinking and I'm just sweating I'm pouring sweat I'm going what the fuck is wrong with you you're on no sleep you should have just taken the uber right so I go what am I doing with my life this is horrific and I go I'm gonna miss this flight this is the only flight to Spokane that will make it in time for the show it's already landing at five the show's at seven with a connection there might be something you could do them I've been a finagle

because JFK's got a lot of airlines you might be able to get to Minneapolis which takes you to whatever to something maybe maybe possible but I'm like I am gonna miss this flight all because I'm a cheap cunt what the hell's wrong with me and then I'm like what if there's a line what if this line I look at the boarding pass on my phone starts boarding at 928 it's 915 I haven't even made it to the fucking building yet oh you know we got a terminal one terminal two I'm in terminal four we finally get to terminal four I grabbed my bags I run down the aisle I turns out I'm running the wrong way you got to go the other

way I'm pouring with sweat and I'm just so jealous of all the fat queefs going woohoo we're a little early let's get a Dunkin Donuts let's get a croissant I'm like that's me I'm the queef I'm jealous I live at 6 a.m. I don't care I camp out there ah brutal so then I'm hearing your voice in my head because I go oh I'm just dreading this this zigzaggy rat race of a line that goes up to security I should have gotten the precheck I should have listened to him you should do it tonight as soon as we're done recording I want you to go online it's it's too late Jerry just call him up the tickets just go but don't have to go there you have

to go and give him a thumbprint and blow a lady but that's it I mean it's easy or next time you go to the airport which is whatever go an hour early bring your passport your birth certificate and your whatever the fuck your Bible yes whatever you're gonna take and just give it to him all right it's all over Jerry ah I feel like I'm losing if I do that they're winning they get me going to the airport what I don't need to go it feels like a loss but I get it I'm a ego is not your amigo so I have clear though still got the clear in the back pocket Claire's nice clear is nice luckily I get through clear get up to the lady and I

go do I have to take the bag out I mean the laptop out she goes no no you're good choose up no you're good I've been some magic line I can't believe it I was trying to get fired or something and then I put my shit on the on the I did something I've never done there was some old broad like trying to take her stockings off and doing abroad all this and I just said move it cuz I jumped in front of her and I took the thing and then it was super awkward cuz the you know the conveyor goes it was going oh I know the right then it started going backwards and he goes Ranji what you doing back there he goes oh shit shit so

then but we had to wait that whole time because the coups is now looking at me like oh yeah you had to cut in front of me we're all in the same place finally I go to the woo woo get through other side and then I get there and there's that big gaggle of people at the at the the gate you know so you're like okay I didn't miss it the gate gaggle gate gaggle and I make it I'm pouring with sweat and like the lady next to me in the seat was like Jesus Christ but all's all though all's well that ends anal I watched the LA confidential on the plane at a fine film it's very confusing but yeah that JFK can really burn you and you

got to get the pre-check yeah it sucks cuz that's happening before we see the lift price and you go that's outrageous but then you go fuck it I'll just get it I'm done I had it the other night coming back from Royorsville which is a holster but this air-tran situation are we gonna do that oh geez the air-tran situation yes one time years ago this is like 15 years ago I was going to Booth Bay Harbor main for 4th of July like it always oh yeah and my father time I had my dead grandfather's car which was still like registered to my dad or something because whatever so I got a parking ticket so they would get

notified whenever I got a parking ticket and I'm like I'll give you the money and whatever yeah and so they like I don't want you get park I want you to park at the JFK garage cuz I don't want it in the street cuz it's their car I was borrowing it whatever so they said we'll pay for it we want you to park at the JFK garage and I'm like I don't want to park at a grad whatever they're asking it's their car they let me have it whatever so I drive this old piece of shit car yeah to JFK and it's one of the only flights I've ever missed I was going to Portland main for gigs at the Port La Carte she was there and I was on

the traffic tons of traffic gridlock traffic and then you finally get to the parking lot like you and I'm like okay I parked I'm gonna make it I just parked yeah you realize you're at the air train and the air train is like a 20 fucking minute ride to the airport you're lucky totally missed the flight and then when I got back you know you're just in Jamaica now like your car to Jamaica and this is pre smartphones and bullshit I didn't know where I was I'm driving oh my god no GP anal so I was just walking around like rolling down getting called honky lips the whole thing so fuck the air train JFK sucks you gotta leave

nine hours early yeah thank god wow see the parking should be closer to the building that's a that's a cunt cuz the air train you think you're there you're not even you're not even close Johnny no it's terrible it really is like a 20 minute train ride and it stops and all the bullshit and yeah so yeah all right let's get let's stick some sponsors up there what do you got you got a blue blocks oh I love blue blocks this is a great new sponsor folks last time we told you about how blue blocks amazing sleep mask and now we're here to tell you about their light filtering glasses it is an amazing lineup they got the

sleep plus you can get yourself some red lenses for true blue and green light blocking use after sundown you have trouble sleeping or get anxious tonight these are for you look at a marks display in them right now if you're on the YouTube check out the YouTube subscribe then we got your clear blue light lens filter blue light during the day cut down on headaches and eye strain if you spend all day in front of your computer or under artificial light they sent this one to me I gave it to Sarah she uses it all the time she loves it plus she looks hot in it I love a lady with glasses yes they're cool hip good-looking glasses

also the summer glow yellow lenses that's what mark was just showing up this is color therapy for the winter blues clinically proven to lift your mood plus you get all the benefits of blue light blocking I really love these they sent them to us I love the computer glasses Sarah where's we share I throw them on mark showing off the yellow glasses they got them on the cat here they're super cool and you just look cool with a pair of glasses on I think yeah you do I love it I'm a fan they they help the eyeballs they feel good support blue blocks because they support Tuesdays with stories get 20% off with code

Tuesdays at blue blocks dot com slash Tuesdays that's B L U B L O X dot com slash Tuesdays for 20% off blue blocks dot com slash Tuesdays and use code Tuesdays for 20% off and protect those eyeballs folks Tuesdays with stories is also brought to you by Lucy nicotine gum we all know how difficult it is to quit smoking one of the hardest things in the world I was just with a friend who was like dumping water all over his cigarettes and wow yeah he's gonna do and he bought another pack the next day then he soaked those under the faucet wow and he's like please take these away from me kick me down the stairs if I light one

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if you don't like gum check out their cherry ice lozens when you're craving a smoke you just need a little something to satisfy the habit get Lucy so you're prepared for the itch mark tell them how to get this product hey they're supporting the show so go support them get 20% off all products including gum or lozenges at Lucy dot co with code Tuesdays that's 20% off Lucy dot co and use promo code Tuesdays a checkout as the part the lawyers make you say warning this product does contain nicotine derived from tobacco nicotine is an addictive chemical but you already knew that so get 20% off at Lucy dot co with

code Tuesdays you know it you love it one more ad for the patreon I mean Tuesdays with story patreon is sick right now first of all tons of new patrons we saw all the we don't know how to use it but Chuck sent us all the comments just a pile of comments we appreciate the nice comments and reviews and it's a TV show for God's sake yes I mean we got two episodes of hot gay sets that's us running all over the city driving up to Long Beach Long Island home of Charlie McAvoy go Bruins what a night we had here in Lara makes a guest appearance will so Vince is in there Rosebud Baker is in there just an

unbelievable episode Chuck is really ripping it up I mean it's the 25 minute episode of us in the city behind the scenes at Chipotle at the stand at the cellar you got that right I mean if you ever wonder what's it like being a New York comic running around you got two sides of the coin here we got one guy jumping around we got one gay queefing all over town jokes comedy clubs other comedians and we got a right-hand man just jizzing all of it filming it cutting it up making it fun putting music I mean this guy's lunch he's a talent we got the most diverse interesting weirdest patreon in the biz I

think other people all they do another rap come on we got a TV show and we got that too we got bonuses we did a random bonus the other day I came over the house I fucked in the ass we did a half hour bonus on video and you get the video a week early I see all these people tweeting at us right into us saying why don't you release the video the same day as the podcast we do if you join the patreon for a measly five bucks a month or whatever it is here here I think the cheapest one in town to five buttons a cup of coffee you got that right yeah Starbucks think they just right in your face it's less than a cup of coffee yeah

so anyways no tax so go do that join the patreon today be one of the real gains and also get on the what do you call it YouTube go subscribe to the YouTube watch the show on YouTube comment like share all that bullshit here here all right well I just want to say I'll turn it over to you there sister but when I got back to New York and I landed back a JFK from Spokane after the nightmarish flight I took back I got a cab and the cab is now the new deal big deal yeah exactly like I used to be like I'll get it over and fuck these cabs over they've been they've been screwing the pooch for 25 years now I'm the only

guy in the cab but remember the cab line line they get the hand of that weird piece of paper yes and then I get in and I'm like hey hey and it was 66 bucks absolutely and now I had this experience of the first time in my life the cab line they used to be 800 cabs line of the sea of yellow which was kind of beautiful in a weird way yes yellow sit there and wait and then now you wait for a cab at LaGuardia they're like you go to the cab line and they're like look and you're like where is one of these guys I waited like 15 minutes for a cab because these people have all shot themselves in the face because they

spent $300,000 on a medallion yeah you got that right and now it's an eight worth shit so it's hard times in the cab drivers so I try to support the cabs but they're hard to find out here I'm looking out the window right now I see nothing but fucking bullshit cars there's no yellow stop agent eight and I'll tell you they it's fun getting in a cab because they just trash Uber the whole time like don't fuck them they rape fuck them and it's funny you get a whole ride of trash talk yeah I love trash in Uber so I might have to take one on the way home tonight because I gotta get home for the Boston Bruins playoff game playoffs

you know what you got to do is you got to get that app that tells you in the next queue train or they tell you when the trains are coming yeah well that's helpful Sarah has it and I should get it I'm late on everything including my period but even if it tells you it says 14 minutes it doesn't help you get home faster just let you know I can hang out here longer I guess but yeah which is nice and you can go get a smoothie I'll make it you know or whatever that's true that is nice I should get it but I don't have it either but I'm teaching and not preaching I think this cat's killed I got a clog listen I hate a nose clog nothing

worse than that no one talks about a nose you ever in bed going you got to go through the mouth like so it's the worst in the pollen and all the bullshit whatever who cares what do you got I mean I've been I've been screwing the the anal here well so I got the Royersford gig in my mind I was like I got nothing I got no notes I'm an asshole I went to hang out with my family when I'm with my family I'm in another planet I'm in a pizza coma the whole week yes but Royersford I did Royersford which is such a mouthful shout out to soul Joel I mean we can't blow him any more than we've already now he's got clips of a

montage is of us blowing him it's insane but so I had the gig and this is my I think fifth or sixth time doing it so I call the big fat redheaded Mexican and say hey I don't know if you want to go do Royersford but we keep doing it together it's a lot of fun what are you getting pilot sitting at home in a bathrobe weeping of course you want to go over there so he says sure I'll go he says who you're bringing I said this guy Matt Wayne he's a hell of a whippa you're gonna love him and he hated him but and then I got some Jordan Jensen who's like the hot young comic at the cellar over here you go on every show and then

some fresh meat in there yeah I mean she murders just a murderer and I said I'm bringing her I'm bringing Matt Wayne who I just love and Louie loved him by the way I'm only kidding of course I didn't know love M dubs and should I play the fart I mean yes I hope it reads you know sometimes you show somebody a band of at the vinyl they don't get it you got to see this fart live I think oh you'll you'll get it I mean how that's a good friend that's top-notch next level great a flatulence I mean he's a vegan so he's got the vegan farts and any drinks beer so you got vegan and IPA that's the kind of fart you're gonna

produce I hate to see that guy's bathroom bowl I think it's a big mess I mean he's one of these guys you do a gig and you say hey let's go meet up and he's like I gotta hit the toilet I'll see you in three days you see they're all they eat his beans and pussy these guys it's all vegan but he's a great fun we also did Mohegan son the week before and that was a great time which I don't even I can't even get into that one because we don't have enough time but that was fun great gig I'll just sum it up and we went gambling together which was really fun the highlight of that he put to put a 20 in the slot machine and he there was like

a lip he put it underneath we just stuck it all the way in there never sucked it up we had to wait for a guy to come and open the whole machine that was pretty fun you gotta hate a bad lip bad lip but anyways that was fun Mohegan son was great shout out to those guys shout out to all the Tuesdays that came out beautiful people came hung out the whole thing a lot of them went and saw you the next night of the night before which was fun let's you're in Hartford thank yeah thank you that's a tough room to fill there was a lot of people that were like I saw mark and Hartford last night or they're like I'm going to see mark

tonight which was fun oh I love that where we're spreading the love all over Connecticut and Saturday night I had a six and eight so you could have doubled up you could have seen me jumped in the car and shot up to Hartford which I think Midney's Mindy spring was gonna do you showed up she was there she doubled up she's a she's an ultimate Tuesday the biggest twos yes not a coups so that was fun but so we do Royersford it's me Matt Wayne who everyone should check out absolutely hilarious comic although he doesn't have an album he doesn't have a podcast so he should get something going besides farting on camera he's got

the fart and a great taste in music introduced me to white reaper my father's gay so it's me him Jordan Jensen and Louie and so we meet at Louie's house we have a nice time we hang out we bullshit he plays piano for a half hour so we're all late oh jump in the car we slowly we sit in traffic right away I mean like every time cuz you know we just you just getting that car it's like four o'clock so we're just dead stop traffic it's one of those ones I'm always sweating it freaking out but great hand great conversation this is the fourth time we've done it and every single time pouring rain interesting the

comedy gods are not a fan huge storm so we're driving down they're having a nice time and it just the sky opens up there's rain this hail it's four inches of water and he's got a big Land Rover range Rover or whatever the rover one of the rovers come right over I'm not sure but something Grover Cleveland he drives he drives oh yeah I heard he's not the best behind the wheel he's fine okay well he likes to make sure you're enjoying the story so they'll do a lot of over come on and so I'm like I watched the road I got you geez all right wrote a bit about it never works but anyways we had a million laughs great time good conversation we

get down there and it's in the big tent the dome it's intense folks and now everyone knows us so well so everything a list the whole thing it's exciting it's filled up with games love it and a lot of fans sold out 400 just bang packed out and it looks stormy it was stormy the way down but now it's not so bad looks a little less rainy we stopped we're actually early this time a little bit so we stopped Wegmans get my chocolate chip cookie I can never not get the chocolate chip cookie at Wegmans you hooked an addict that's cookies in the world get down there we see Mike pond said Joel yeah he's got he gets us sandwiches the

whole thing great game that's nice so the host was fuck what's his name Garrity Brendon Brendon Donagall I believe Irish yes tiny cock big twos gay I think his name is Brendon Donagall I hope I'm not fucking that up he hosts great comic great guy usually it's James Matters a little skeptical yep he kills Matt Wayne goes up first kills I'm dying laughing this guy makes me laugh so god damn one of my favorites he laughs Jordan goes up and just murder I mean like kills so hard that all right fuck this I want you to do a new bit and with a new bit because they're they're howling now let me let me throw this in

your your rectum and see if it makes a noise sure I do you have this it's your gig every time at the at the soul Joel much like mine we bring people the guy who goes first is always up as a it kills me that's always a pain in my twat you know like the who's going first and then they all look at me and none of them want to go first right and then you got to do this weird power dynamic and hierarchy thing we're like well he's been doing it 40 years but you're stronger than him and you're a girl and I don't know what's going on your black what's great about Wayne is he's wants to go first oh I like to get out of the way

he wants to enjoy himself that's you want to get it up get it out of the way and just sit back and enjoy the show interesting that was nice that's a load on my ass but this Jensen I mean she's the real deal murder I mean the people are like dying it's like a black rum people like oh god they're falling over each other was like she was tossing hand grenades in there there's a part of me that's like oh my god I'm fucked because they've seen me every fucking three hours yeah yeah yeah same me well I'm ripping through the notebook being like is this anything right you know that you're feeling you're just looking

around you're like is that something maybe the light bulbs maybe the yes what's the deal with wind so are you putting the the bald guy on after are you you know I'm no he's closing oh we advertised him the morning of they said hey and Louis coming plus we kept being like special guests and on the show this show we got going hey you know who's coming right right right in your face or whatever so she goes up kills I go up at the crowd is so hot they're so supportive the best they love us they start a riff and raft and the whole thing it's killing but then right in the middle of my set

Palestine lightning it just goes it's at worst I mean it goes insane I mean the apartheid's have turned oh it's just bad I mean the sky is lighting up strobe light wind as bad a storm as you can get and I'm like and I see the back shadows everyone's scattering because they're getting soaked back there oh the rain the rain from out there is blowing all the way up at me it was like Woodstock 69 and 99 or 94 whichever one was the big stormy one the cats touching me oh God careful I mean it was a storm and I was like should we stop the shud you guys want to move some way can we get them tarps right tarps and then I'm like

am I gonna get killed I'm holding a electrical microphone I mean it was like just lighting up strobe light and then it got so long it's a tent so it's literally like you couldn't believe it like I just kind of stretched and rift and raft holy shit oh boy I'm not stretching and I went on for about 35 minutes I was like trying to do bits I literally at one point you're like these aren't even have no chance of work again on the zoom right on the zoom you quiff the cat is on the zoom folks let me try to pull it there you go there we go all right you're good cat confused like why are you moving me anyways huge

huge storm did about 35 minutes for the people and I tried to just kill all the time because I know we got Louie coming up right so at this point I'm like this is like we're co-headlining or whatever but I'm like let me just get through this storm because you know big storms move fast typically sure and but it was while it was memorable because some ladies like I got a piss and I was like you can just pass one of my eighth grade teacher that was fun not gonna laugh and that kind of stuff these people are soaked and this guy's yelling out it was pretty rowdy and weird and wild and just memorable brought up Louie the storm

completely dissipated totally passed right as he walks up there a fan God's a fan so I'm getting blown in the back everyone's like that was such a pro you're such a pro that was amazing you killed it all now he's there and then four minutes in the train comes the train and it's the freight train it's the longest train you've had it I mean straight minutes but it never stopped and then right when that train passed another train coming the opposite direction he got double train set but I mean it was just a special night and then they held the ice cream place they called them up to like hey we got Louise and

tell like I know about Louie and every time he gives them like a thousand bucks or whatever it's Bayberry so they keep the place open for us we jump in the car we run out we're driving to the crowd everybody's wave I feel like RFK on the train except I could see them right and everyone's saluting us and thumbs up and everything we went straight to the ice cream place handles and then you know he's a vegan and she's dieting or something so they didn't get ice cream you can get vegan ice I don't know what goes on with the ice cream I don't either but so we ate the ice cream went home but then he drops me at in this

area near you and I go I'm gonna get an Uber and that's 12 o'clock and I go I'm like I'll go to the VU Michael Chase over there and Rosebud Baker and Andy Haynes and then Greg Stone comes up the stairs I go stoning my boy my man my main cheese I go hey you want to ride home right now and he's like sure I'm like right now he's like yeah I go getting this Uber he jumps in the Uber it's $85 which is batshit crazy I just made some pretty fucking sweet cake you got there right thank you Joel jumping the Uber we catch up we tell the stories we sum up the night get dropped off at my house because that's the Uber and so

Greg goes I'll just walk from here we get off we're chatting on the sidewalk I see a light I look in and Steve Rogers and Caitlyn Palufo you're a small town so I look in the window and Steve goes well he waves me in me and Greg go meet up with Steve and Caitlyn I text Sarah go get over here so now the five of us impromptu hang in the house with the cat the whole thing it's a party it's a party then I felt bad because Sarah and I went back to our apartment and Greg hung behind I was like oh good luck he's yours now yeah but we had a great time I mean I just I love stone I love Steve I love Caitlyn I love Sarah so we're all in

there impromptu one o'clock in the morning what world you've built and by the way the neighbor thing is great because I heard clunking in the back yard the other day and I opened the thing Steve Rogers has got his huge cock he's getting some sun and I say hey Steve I'm watching Ace Ventura in here he goes what he climbs in the window like fucking Vinny and we sit down we watch Ace Ventura what's the last time you watched the movie with the dude I don't know 88 it's been a while I mean we're having laughs and then the next day because we're run on and I talked about Jim Carrey and our other podcast so like

I drink the doorbell I go I got dumb and dumber cookie he's like I'll be right over neighbor you got Kramer over there you get the K-man it's so exciting oh yeah he hates the n-words the whole thing but it's so fun just kidding he's a great guy he's got a huge dick like the n-word yeah but great time so we got Steve's over there and and then today they're having a little cookout in the backyard bunch of bullshit openers that suck and great time well his dick's big of them sausages on the grill there um what's that from me myself and I read yeah another Jim Carrey when he was still great my grandmother's half

Italian that's great wow what a what a that's a beautiful hang with the with multiple layers of hang you get the Royors for hang you got the seller hang and then you got the story hang and then you hang yourself a lot of hangs great hangs but yeah they're using there are back here you got to come over sometime we got a they got a setup they bought a picnic table and the whole thing so they got the yard though well it's it's a joint yard but they just like did something with it my thing is you know how we are you know how we talk I mean people hear

how we talk on the show can you imagine what we talk like off air so New York City is a tough place to really have a hang because you're in the backyard and there's 300 windows around right I gotta buy a house in western mass in the Berkshires with no one within 50 miles you got that right so we can really let loose and joke all jokes all jokes but you're right but I think we're opening the door a little bit because I'll do a little meet and greet and sell some some t-shirts and butt plugs and then people go okay what's shaking fatty and they're like I'm like I'm calling strangers fat it's great it's a nice time

it's it's good fun so slippery slope but yeah yeah fun times but yeah yeah good times and now let me let me tell you about the highlight of my life on I'm all flights on this when I feel bad I'm doing a bunch of airport stuff but this is the highlight of my life on an airport all right in an airport 548 a.m. flight ooh that's not a pickup that's not a boarding that is when the flight takes off it's this West Coast business because you're behind the eight ball yes yes I got to do blow just to stay up so you got to get there at 448 so you got to leave the apartment at 415 or whatever the hell it is so I woke up at

350 in the morning now this is after doing two sold-out shows selling merch and having a couple cocktails and eating a thousand pounds of candy so I go on which laying there come on sleep sleep you think about every childhood molestation everything sure and finally I doze up okay let's now here's there's the clinker I do a scheduled uber yes that's good I'm gonna mention earlier that's big that's a new introduction of my life so that's that's a anxiety killer you're just like all right I can just you know rest easy but that's still bad because you still have the anxiety they're not gonna show up I know it says

approximately and the whole thing and the only thing that does is the next morning it calls them I think I don't know I think they lock it in but it says in the morning it says looking for ubers oh does it seem that happened yeah so that also gives me anxiety but any jizz but it's one of those things where I probably got an hour of sleep hour and a half and it's well you're not even tired you're just on another planet exactly it's a different thing it's a different existence you're just like whoa what's going on who are you who am I what is earth what is life you know that whole bullshit and I get in the uber and

I go are you starting are you ending he's like I've been up all night I always ask that yeah that's funny big fat guy and he was like you know you know when you do some mushrooms or something and you're like is this real is it is it with the world normally like this or am I a fucked up or what's going on the guy goes uh I only wear the mask is I don't know if you care and I'm like oh yeah me too I was getting real chummy it was real late and weird the whole thing was weird he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and we get to the airport get through security there's nobody there it's all eerie get to my gate flights delayed oh boy then you

start thinking well I'm connect I'm connecting in Spokane to Seattle which is like an eight second flight hate going backwards I know and then you got to go across the country but at least you can just suffer through the first one then sleep on the second that's my goal right so I'm like alright but now it's delayed so I go up to the lady and now it's really pushing it we're up against it of like I might miss my connection and she goes yeah this is not looking good you might miss your connection what you want to do is get on that flight right there and it's already boarding it's going to Salt Lake City get on that it'll get you

to JFK half an hour later I was like that's great so I hightailed over there get on it best moment ever you know when you you go you slide your phone in or scan it sure and then the new ticket comes up oh what's better than that the new tick little paper the paper yeah so you grab that little nugget that little cutie put in the pocket it's always a better seat sure you get on I get in and there's a guy next to me with the window shade open it is a 6 a.m. flight we're all hungover we're all gay we're all miserable I mean that son is beaming like the the the light from heaven yeah and I go what do you do I'm just thinking

like we're all like one guy's got a sleep mask on one guy's doing heroin we're all just trying to go to bed and this guy's reading the Torah and just going whoo he's got the wind and the here's the thing about the window shade this is the biggest problem in my life it's it's right here so you sit here and it just yes it just hits everybody else but you you get a little ancillary light for your dumb book and the rest of the people are melting well it's like the arc opening we're all going ah here's what I'll give me the advocate devil because I agree I've had it where that's annoying but you could have got the window see the

one of the window seat and a salt lake city that's a beautiful flight I mean that's the mountain ranges and I think I'd like to see more people looking out the window in America but six a.m. but also there is unwritten rules and people want to sleep so I get it it's very tricky it is tricky because well I can't blame the guy I'm just annoyed yeah I get it I'm not like you're a bad guy it's just that's where I got you I agree because on the one hand it's annoying because you want to sleep and you're like the sun's blasting me you fucking cunt right but you can't put the hood over sometimes I'll go hood on and pull

it all the way down over my eyes got the clan maybe get a sleep mask or throw a t-shirt up over yeah but I do understand it's his window he got the window you know and but I like to look out sometimes another window my other argument is sometimes they're not even using it oh he better be looking at all he ain't looking out if he's not looking out that he's a piece of shit he should die because if he's just reading there's a reading like exactly you can turn on the reading light so it's like when someone asks in comedy to go on first yeah early and then they don't leave exactly exactly if you got the window down you got a

have you got to be doing this and taking photos and sketching or something you got to be using the open window otherwise your piece of shit great an algae no look never looked once at the scenery the greenery or the japanenery nothing and so I studied this guy said maybe look out the window maybe he's taking photos maybe he's a botanist or a mountain range expert nothing so I go and I'm doing I'm passive aggressive now I'm doing this like trying to sleep I'm doing that I got the hand up to the face I even put the like the menu or the seat chart up to my face doing this I'm trying to make a wall like Trump and he's like

he's nothing nothing this guy's in his own world eventually this is the best moment in my life the flight attendant cool older black guy you know he's given like the seat report and the seat belt he was like wrapping it and he was cool and whatever he comes by and he goes he sees me sees the other guy he sees everybody going yeah we're like vampires you're killing us and he goes sir are you looking out that window and it goes no no he goes it's so bright do you mind closing it wow the other passengers and the guy goes oh no I don't care whoa shade the guy walks by me and I went a fist bump me I was

reeling I was sitting there going I was it being showered with joy well I've noticed the flight attendants a lot nicer these days yeah what I think the companies say hey they're coming back they're nervous could you really blow everybody eat out a lady because I saw one she had tits out she was smushing my face I'm exaggerating a little but still they're really nice and friendly but that's a beautiful moment I love here dude it was a racial moment we bonded it was a fuck the sunlight moment we bonded it was beautiful and I get that guy too because I've had this happen where people sit down in the middle seat

yes and they open the arm up so they could sit and they never put the arm back down I feel self-conscious pulling the arm back down it's a divider so I'm sitting there going please pull it down I need the divider yes and I've gone after a while ago would you mind if I put like oh no no so please yeah they don't want it up they just forgot about it for one of those guys again also proving my point that if you're kind of next to the window it's not killing you like it's killing the rest right so he didn't even notice the window up even though the beam it was melting us well he's behind the beam like I said so yes

good stuff oh my god mr. beam uh-oh um well we're gonna wrap this son of a bitch up yeah yeah well hey I'm all over the road I'm in Virginia Beach this weekend with fat Chris Allen umar Khan I've never been I looked it up Richard Richard Beach is like a it's like a destination point it's like a vacation spot people go down there have you been I've been I did it with Dave a towel I was open feature for Dave a towel there was a miscommunication he brought big J and Dave Smith and then there was already an emcee there was a huge regular role so there was an emcee then Dave Smith then me then big J then a

towel it was the Super Bowl weekend 2012 whatever the steeler cardinal Super Bowl what a fun weekend yeah and my car broke down at Sears I ended up being late getting home for the Super Bowl it must have been whatever year that was looking up 2011 maybe wow no earlier than that it must have been 2010 wait doesn't matter who hosted I think a local guy or maybe Dave hosted whoa that's why I think it was the local guy because I was booked to feature there's a whole double booking and then me and big J and David but yeah they saw Dave Smith big J me and David tell that's a hell of a night and you guys must have really put

them back oh yeah and then I remember they brought Dave and J brought like a PS4 whatever it was PS3 they played it and they were just smoking weed it was one of those things were like if they're passing the bowl and I'm like and they just keep pat I'm not a weed guy I like weed but they just can't I'm like when do we stop smoking I know I know we got to go on it was like 40 straight minutes and I'm like out of my mind I think I blew both of them I'm not sure hey could be worse but yeah wow that's a hell of a I'm excited to go I've never been there I'm gonna hit the beach at summertime like this is a hot gig I just realized

that it you hear Virginia you go I have Virginia right but I can't wait I hope people come by and yeah I'm doing all all kinds of dates shit I can't think of literally one right now to Dayton Toledo Syracuse you name it Braia California I'm all I'm all over the place well what do you got I'm I'm yammering it must have been Super Bowl 2010 season 2011 Super Bowl sorry just don't head yes Cardinals Steelers anyways I got Des Moines funny bone next week and June 10 through 12 come out to that please I love Des Moines I love Iowa and then Kansas City the Kansas City Comedy Club or the Comedy Club of Kansas City

comedy club I think that's the third week in June here it's great that's coming up in a few weeks check that out Google it get the website get some tickets to that Kansas City and Des Moines and then this Saturday canner and I are bringing back the PS 109 show on the Upper East killer show 99th Street we haven't been able to do it in two years great show Stavros is on Yannis is on we have an anal it's all Greek themed I love it so come see Stavros and Yannis love those guys haven't seen them well I've seen Stavros feet I haven't seen Yannis since 88 I know right he's got a fan base I mean these all these bug guys

have fans oh hell yeah the Greeks are loved so yes tragedy and comedy check that out and check out Joe and Ronon we're talking about Jim Carrey this week we love but people think that we hate everybody we love Jim Carrey we blow the movies run on so negative but anyway somebody calling Pauline whale which is the funniest line anyone's ever had but anyways check out that podcast and get on the patreon for God's sake you're missing out if you're not on the patreon it's really we're actually really doing it now you got that right it's a doozy it's worth the money and we actually feel good promoting it Orlando

improv San Antonio helium Philly and Houston improv in Tejas Buffalo Dayton I said Appleton again Arlington improv oh yeah so you got some hot ones Albany West Palm Beach comedy connection in Rhode Island come on out get on the patreon kiss your dad blow your uncle tits in your mouth praise Allah thanks a lot music