Tuesdays with Stories! - #415 Meanderthal

Episode Date: August 24, 2021

Hey hey Tuesgays, we're back yet again as we talk about T.V. shows with no stakes, why regular looking ladies are better while Joe preps for his big movie & Mark tapes his Netflix half hour. Check it out! Check out our new merch here! Shirts, stickers, phone cases, mugs, you name it! https://www.teepublic.com/user/tuesday-s-with-stories Sponsored by: Better Help (betterhelp.com/tuesdays), Blue Chew (bluechew.com code: tuesdays), & Lucy (lucy.co code: tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy my radio is spitting at man jumping right in look at that no ad no fat all muscle cleafy all gravy you like gravy some gravy you mean gravy gravy not the Italians that say great talk about that we hate them get out of here

you dig a warp Cuomo I like a brown gravy with a mushroom in it pour it right on the meatloaf I like some gravy I mean turkey no gravy I don't understand what's happening there that's like a woman with no teeth I'd rather eat a cat shit than a turkey with no turkey sucks I mean I don't know what's going on with the turkey it's you know it's overrated with a Thanksgiving gobble gobble wild turkey jive turkey but you put some gravy on there you it's it's pretty magical because it's not too chewy it's it's good it's good chewing with gravy you need moist moist a dry turkey forget it I'd rather have a dry pussy on my

mother's anniversary anniversary but then dry turkey but a moist turkey with gravy is pretty good now how come let me this begs the question why aren't you putting gravy on chicken no I know I'll do it why really oh yeah I mean if it's available yeah I don't know why that never picked up then there's white gravy which I'll deal with great gravy well your chicken fried steak it sounds like see the dumplings and look it's the opposite of people I hate white gravy I like brown gravy and it goes the other way with people but I'm just saying the brown gravy is the superior of the graves yeah and what is gravy exactly is

it sugar it's gonna be sugar and water and fat flour and chicken stock don't you find it your mom's a cook you know your father's gay I don't understand how anything is made like what what is marinara sauce it's not just like you can just crush up tomatoes that's ketchup no ketchup is all kinds of sugar pep-toe business corn syrup corn syrup vegetable oil ketchup is a chemical conglomeration amalgam so where does sauce how does sauce originate like marinara sauce that's the sauce I put on everything I put on my wife's tits I just love it sure how does it start I mean because it all when you buy it it's

in a jar already was there what it must be water at some point water and tomato and sugar sugar salt oregano I know but that's sprinkled into the sauce how do you make the sauce I think it's all the tomato crush which is already wet so you're halfway there and then you got to add a bunch of horseshit to make it pop but water has to be in all the liquids right I mean toothpaste gravy semen sauce blood shit diarrhea there's got to be water in it all water well we can't live without water I mean the earth that's the only reason we're here we came out of the water yeah people always say that what does that mean we came out of the

water well the fish were first and then one of the fish went you know what it looks pretty nice out there and he moseyed on out he started flapping he grew a leg and boom homo erectus so the the but monkeys started as fish yes saying yes are you sure about that oh look I went to college Darwin was a professor I fucked him and it was all out of the water Jerry you know you start as a microbiome biotism and then you you grow and you grow and you multiply and then they fuck and then they grow and then you got the Jackson five and here we are did link it yeah it's it's just all while when you really sit and ponder

which obviously I think we pondered a lot more pre phone I'm never pondering anymore yeah pondering is out ponders big James Ponder mmm ring never care about bond I don't care you're not a bond guy I don't care about bond I don't get it like bond I like that I like the idea of bond it's just the car and the car flies in the suit and just who gives a shit he's British I don't care I like fun bond like Sean Connery was fun bond now bond is like I've had a bad day my wife's fat you know it's very dark before bond was like hey I'm gonna rail this whore and the bathing suit and then I got a laser coming up to my dick I make a

joke like it's been cut before and now bond is all bad news there's no jokes everyone bond was fun I didn't even know there was joke I never watched any bond I don't get into bond I like Barry bonds I enjoy bail bonds you know George Bailey's bondage oh I love bondage I mean tie me up take a shit in my mouth but forget about it I just don't get I don't get it I don't care I maybe Sherlock I could get into but I never saw any sure like isn't he similar no sure he's a cookie French toast tea drinking come guzzler sure locks better than bond no he's expecting he's got Watson over there Watson's a bit of half a homo

they're plowing each other at night in the warehouse I'll tell you bond has got gadgets he's got a cool car he's got the tux on with the cufflings and shoot on Asian guy the neck it goes down then he plows the hot model and then they go play poker but doesn't show like homes have like the biggest dick ever didn't have a huge dick John Holmes oh John home yeah I conflate the homes is then there's a you know bow should loam Katie Holmes oh yeah and then there's the Mexican only what's up homes that's home break oh maybe it's all I think right I think no homes is black what's up homes homes is black homes is it was homey

homes is also the Great Lakes here on Ontario Michigan esophagus and superior then there's homes and garden which is a magazine my mom that's all my parents why they watch HGTV I got so mad I wanted to pitch a show one time I did pitch it to my manager and agent they all squad have you watched Sarah Schaefer's thing about pitching TV shows no oh you got to see it it's amazing she did a thing on YouTube I think what she's just like this is what it's like to pitch a TV show how to how to sell a TV show in three simple steps and then it becomes one a1d1g1h1j it's really funny you got it you'll see it

it's very inside baseball but it's hilarious I've done it a million times it's a it's a bitch of a procedure so I gotta watch she really nails it it's lol funny I think she's got a book as well check out her book that sounds right but anyways so I wanted to pitch a show about these and it was Chris Allen's idea via an Instagram comment but about these old movie theater I go to all these old movie houses and you go and you go hey you meet the usher and you say what kind of movie you go through the history and there's your program that's your show I think it's great those are other tons of history there they're ornate

they're pretty they don't make them like they used to you kind of get some old story where the old guys like I ran that projector for 40 years and a guy fucked me in the ass in the projector room and nobody knew it was the silence of the labs exactly and I think a lot of people don't know these young whippersnappers out there they don't know that in the old days the quad cinema was the first multiplex cinema in New York anyways in the old days you went to a big theater there was an organist and you sat up there and you put on a suit and tie right these multiplex theaters came from nowhere and this is a dying art form

thing and any any jizz there's a couple still out there it's a great ones yeah and New York is losing them by the minute but yeah our minute but I pitched it to my manager my agent they go has no steaks we need some steaks love steaks I think get out of here with the steaks I'm a vegetarian what am I a vampire forget the steaks let's do a show what are the steaks of the other shows that's what I mean I watch each I go to my parents house they're sitting there watching HGTV that she's flicking her beaver sticking the remote in her twat my dad's you know out riding fences and I'm watching the show and it's just a

guy going yeah you paint it blue cuz blue makes the sky shine and you get the new shutters these are the shutters that you know make kids cry and you get a carpet show it just ends the credits roll that's it that's all you need it's not like they're like if you don't buy this we burn your house down with your tits out I think they do do a little thing where they go we gotta bring the gay guy in and he's gonna go you got ten ten days to flip this thing and then sell it to a Guatemalan family and they're like oh god we're up against it and the guy hits him with the roller and he's like what do you paint me for paint

the room we're out of time but I'm telling I've seen that but I'm telling you I've seen a stakeless show I've seen a veggie show I'm telling you veggie no steak they just come in and they say you know oh yeah this is great would you like it this and they give them the price and then the steaks and that they think about it they're like shoot can we afford it should we go for it they go and it's one of those things you can clearly see it's all just going okay look like you're thinking yes yeah yeah I hate them all because you watch one you got the whole thing I got it they always work out they always buy it but it's

kind of like a queer eye I never watch queer I don't know if you'd even do queer right now but it's still out isn't it oh is it yeah you probably the whole show is basically like hey gays are good at designing and decorating and fashion that's the whole show well as long as they're good I think it's fine but could you do a hey we got the black the black guys he's good at basketball he steals your car he can dance and he can rap I don't I think that might be that's what I'm saying it's it's all stereotypes right I see but I think because if it was you know the black guy comes in and fixes the plumbing I think that's okay

but in a stereotype that's my point like the gaze with the you should put on this vest hello but I'm saying more stubble stereotype is okay if it's good say that you could do a TV show about black guys with huge cocks they take the cocks out and they go look how big it is that's a show I would watch that but I'm saying positive stereotype is fine but you can't do a show about that's good at basketball you do that that is a show it's the NBA finals there's a honky in there I know but you know he gets to be in there I'm sure there's a straight guy on queers tits or well they take this this love they take the arty lang type

and throw them in and they go hey let me show you how to paint and do a macaroni salad I never see the show so I'm not coming from any kind of expertise but you gotta get the haircut in this thing look at it this is like snails and it's lengthy he's like a pillhead he hasn't been to the barber he sleeps all day he's a mess um he's disheveled but anyway I I think you can do if it's positive it's fine if it's negative it's bad I'm just saying you know the hey Asian Asian show all right we're gonna have you do the violin you're gonna do a math problem and you're gonna cook an egg roll I think you can do that all right I don't know

though I don't I don't watch a lot of television but I think if you did a show where an Asian kid shows up and does everyone's homework it would be a smash I guess it would be hilarious I just don't get why allow it with the gays because uh it would be weird with any other hey Jewish hey we're gonna have the Jews he's gonna do your accounting he's a lawyer and he's gonna do the weather I hear you you might be you might be on to something I got something I'm telling you Asian math he's gonna be a ninja you know he's gonna do the cello he's gonna yell his son and kill his daughter

you never hear about ninjas anymore they're doing a good job all right well you know they used to be everywhere but call in if you like the movie show I think people like to see some movie theaters there and maybe we do some stakes hey we fucking you know we foreclose if you don't show me a rocky right we're all gonna play deep throat uh we're gonna play it on the projector if if you don't give us money or watch the show sorry nana whoo that's a classic I think you'd run out of him but you can go international you know what I mean you go I just feel like oh they should just give us shows

and be like I promise it's gonna be fine it's like we talk about in comedy we have to audition for stuff I'm like just let me go on there it'll be good I promise yeah that's true I mean I guess I mean all those shows are all rigged you know n-word rigged with the the Montreal new faces like all these people suck but you like their agent or they have uh they have bill burr on the roster so you gotta give a favor to the new kid right on the block it's all rigged that's why stand-up is the only pure thing left well on stage you mean on stage but the the the politics that stuff but I have to say podcast now even more so even podcasts are magical because nobody you can't just give someone a podcast

that's successful right right because that it's all the same platform Jerry I got no fight with a pal because uh he's a gentleman of color and he was like I'm gonna start a podcast just to like break it up this too many white podcasts and I'm like well podcast is the literally the most open no gatekeeper thing like it just it just who starts one yeah there's no like oh whoa hold on there dark man or whatever it's just you just do it or don't do it there's no gatekeeper so I don't know if you can sure there's a lot of white ones but that's because a lot of white ones started a lot of white people there's a lot of white people in America you start one so he was like well it's Kai you know it's uh it's filled with this this is the mom like I know but

that doesn't work anymore with this because it's completely up to the person yeah podcast is just they're out there Jerry and I'm loving every minute of it I mean there's just a thin layer gabardine between the podcast and the audience and whoever gets the listeners get the listeners but your mother's uglier than Hazel I don't know how you start a podcast now because you gotta have a built-in follow oh yeah it's just you gotta go on the other big podcast and plug it but are you garbage is only been out for a year or so they're cooking huge great show garbage fire yeah they're doing great and I just did it check it out it's on youtube I think the best way to do podcasts now if you want to hit podcast kids and where we're old assholes now

we're old assholes on the block yeah you got that right but I think the key are you garbage and taste buds where you debate because then everybody goes you get the algorithm going everybody comments no he's wrong no he's right debates are big debates are big one or the other debate or like a question this is right this is wrong that gets views and people pumped up and nothing more relatable than food we all have to eat we've all eaten trash we've all eaten snacks and goodies and everything so you get hit everybody there's no like I don't speak Bengali I don't watch I don't get it it's just boom right to food we all eat it's like talking about banging on stage it's the most universal food is big some people don't bang though in cells ah yeah well they can

shoot up something if they want but uh they're thinking about banging oh everybody's thinking about banging yeah they're watching the porn they're they're jerking it in mom's basement but they're maybe they're not getting any but they they're thinking about it I think about banging all day every day I find it's like a um what's that word I'm looking for it's my uh obsession not go to my baseline okay any downtime now again the phone we talk about default my default that's the word well done yes that's my default if I'm sitting waiting for a bus waiting for a can of soup to come I sit and I go ah my aunt's tits you know what I mean like it's just a go to fantasy and it's so fascinating that you could just visualize fucking anybody on earth I know it really is something

you could you're just like super imposing you know Elton John ankle spread with the glasses and I'm fucking them right on the piano I know and then you can think about bad fucking like so there's guys out there who bang kid like babies so you're like how does he get the dick in does that hurt how was that pleasurable boy I'm glad I'm not into that yeah you can go bad too and you can go good you can go hey remember uh Susie at CVS that cashier she had a nipple ring and a clip piercing yeah good good's my default I have to say but I I'm over here I'm thinking Kelly Kapowski Jesse Spano AC Slater mr. Belding I all of it and sometimes you just walk by remember when you're young though in like your 20s you just see anybody and then you're like you run into a phone

booth to rub one out yes and also you know back in the 50s you didn't have free porn you had to go steal a playboy go to the woods or the scout master or whatever it is and then now it's so what's the word accessible that you think it would lose it's allure but it's still there like when somebody goes I'm on only fans you go put your credit card in you think like hey we've all the porn in the world I've seen every celebrity naked the fappeting I've seen Jennifer uh what's her name with the eyeballs Aniston now Lopez now Hudson now she's in the X-men stuff McCarthy uh she what is her name Critidine that writer for sci-fi I've met her I shit she's a Jen Jen Garner not Garner Kirkman no Garner no you know her you know her Jen what we're talking to me I

know her personally no you know what I'm talking about she was in the red sparrow a Lawrence thank you yes she there's videos of her found out you know with the internet and the cloud she's got jizz all over and everything and like well I've seen that and then you're like oh she's got only right still on it like it's it never loses its luster yes luster and allure lust earn John luster um luster halt oh wow yeah but yeah I'm just saying it's still uh it's still like storey Daniels wow trump banger yeah you want to see yeah you want to get that soup well it's just interesting but I mean now but it does change in some ways it does where now the more conservative they are the more you want to see the day because there's the girls

on the instagram that they they show their their pussy or they wear the shoes or they got a bra and you're like all right I get it I want to see now I want now I'm more into like librarian with that you know only with a winter hat and uh whatever the thing is that covers your face the iron sheet burka yeah the burka I want to see some burka stocks brook burka um that you just want to see those people yes yes you need you got to keep up with it hey I'll start with some pot now I need uh the the heroin puss uh gateway yes gateway the gateway but I'm just saying it's uh it's fun that it never loses and it's always exciting like I'll do a thing where I'm like I'm not gonna watch porn for a week and then you're like all right I can do that and then when that week goes by you're like

I kind of got over the hump I don't need it anymore and then you look at you're like wow right so naughty oh my god the visual is like makes your brain go pew pew pew pew yes see I don't have that with the porn because it's stranger this is why I like instagram yes I'm like give me a comedian and a tight blow so I'm like okay here we go because porn I know they're getting naked right I know they're gonna be nude I don't know this lady from Alan and it's just a lady that's gonna get naked she's just a naked lady sure I want the fucking the the smoothie lady that lady that's always like oh you like oh you like you like did your shot and make you cry I'd like to see those nipples I see a Jewish lady yes but here's the clinker

that will happen there there's gonna be an app for that I mean only fans is already on the way but I bet in 50 years well I have so much technology that you know you can do like a face recognition beep beep beep the door opens they saw your face eventually you're gonna be able to go photo and then they're gonna know what she looks like naked you know what I mean like you know the that could be sooner than that I hope could could be 2010 you know they do the artist rendition at the police station that's just some incel with a with a stencil that's pretty good and uh he's doing that now I'm at with technology you throw that in there bang bang boom the clothes are off stencil research but I mean that's a good app I mean have you heard this somewhere is this your

idea just thought of it I mean that's unbelievable because they can take you know your fat content or whatever they can look at you BMI the BMI yeah and and um university yeah TMI could be the name of the app but oh you show you yes that's great TMI you and LV I mean you just see her and it has bush they could because that lady's got a bush you can tell oh big asian bush she works at a ginger shot joint yes I'm sure she's got a crazy bush her vagina is at the shit that clits like Charlie George W bush but a lot of that stuff is janey is possible yeah yeah it's happening Jerry and it's it's uh it's very exciting 2004 now oh I got one more thing on this I thought about and I know you'll agree with me on this one Fanny the it's

not just the nudity it's we live these lives you want hello sir you say hi to the mailman you go how you doing ma'am here's here's $10 here's your chair you know we're all we got societal norm mcdonald's but it's the fun part of seeing them go put it in my ass you pig right of course that's the whoa I can't believe I saw you know uh Kathy Bates talking dirty that's when it gets crazy that's that's the thing that's what it is exactly because it's exactly what I'm saying these these women that are hanging from a palm tree in a bikini you just assume they're dirty that's why I don't like I know they're dirty I want to see you know miss bliss go and fucking smash my tits into your face or whatever yeah that's the fun part yes like Rebecca Donaldson

from full house Laurie Laughlin she's in jail I know but I mean her I always thought as a kid that's who I want to see I want to see her blowing Uncle Jesse while Uncle Joey cuts it out right hey right right oh that would be cool yeah oh man how dare you have mercy but yeah no you're right that's what it's all about it's about because all day long it's hey that's an appropriate to pull your pants up whatever Bill Cosby said and then now then you get to see that you're like oh she was lying she is a stick well that's why I'm like crazy super into the news women like MSNBC Hallie Jackson MSNBC or you know the other lady there Barbara Walters no not that one there's a bunch of a new Stephanie rule who I saw in the street recently she rules I don't know these gals

well they're all MSNBC people I'm a cuck liberal retard so Maddow that's not that's not my mad cow that's not my cup of tea but you know whatever I'm sure she's somebody but Brian Williams I'd like to see naked oh yeah he's got long balls that's for sure but yeah some of these news because they're just standing there giving you the news a Katie Turr is another one they're just they're just hot ladies with business suits and they're giving you the news you just you know that at some point they wrap up and they go home and they have sex with their husbands I know it's very exciting that's why it's fun too you know back in the day when we were when back when we were banging you had a hey Eddie Murphy went home with a trans lady or Hugh Grant got a hooker and you're

like whoa right it's not as crazy when guys do it though because we're already filthy piggy cum stains already you know but one of the whoa hello I'm just a lady I wear a little top hat and umbrella you're like whoa she's taking it in the keister exactly in the and the more business see the outfit the hotter oh picture that business suit strewn on the floor yeah yeah it's just very very sexy yeah yeah I think we broke down the whole thing because even porn you're like a librarian porn but I'm like but she's not a librarian she's a porn actor I know she's getting naked that's how I feel with the steps it's my steps is I'm like you're black she's Asian what are we doing here yeah it's no step no step by step day by day day by day

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Buffalo yeah and I'm over here I'm doing this I got doing your big secret Manhattan project big Manhattan project so I'm all business over here I gotta do this I'm reading lines we gotta we got this I got 92 pages of script I'm in every fucking scene so I'm reading and I'm just reading over and over again and writing down the things it's it's awful well you just gave it away that that's well I think it's out there a little bit but I don't want to give too many details because who knows then all of a sudden whatever well the good news about this big big Adam you're splitting over here is it's gonna have a quick turnover I assume I don't see this thing noodle it on the shelf for about six years this thing is in and out the door yeah you shoot it and print

it you edit it there she goes I hope we'll see who knows I mean then you gotta figure out where it goes and what happens and is it a piece of shit then maybe you have to reshoot or edit but yeah pickups there's a there's a film in the works it's very exciting it's very big and if you're listening to this it's in production we're well into production now okay porn as the time of recording it's pre-production but we're pre-recording because of this big project oh yeah you're all wacky it's all pipes I've probably killed myself by now or been fired that's true he's dead in a ditch but it's all very exciting and nerve-wracking because you know how it is you always you have like dreams you want to do something you want to make something and then when it's time you're

like what am I kidding I can't do this who said I could do this why this gonna suck there's gonna be a piece of shit not to mention I have a movie podcast where I'm just trashing every artist of all time right now I gotta I gotta like wipe it clean or like men in black because you know you start making something you become less critical ah you know this is this is a critical Johnson over here Ron and I are talking about movies I'm like your piece of shit I can't believe you made this movie who wrote this I can't believe it got green lit this is a bag of shit now I'm making a movie I'm like well what did you ever do you know exactly like yeah it's horrible critique uh masala over here and uh you're right you got a point it's it's better to try it's horrible

so I will see I don't know Roger even made a movie once then his jaw fell off I don't even I never had a jaw so we'll see but uh great film but now I changed my movie podcast because now I'm like well I thought he had some good points he tried his best uh you know what have you done you're right yeah ronnie how are you I haven't seen you making no movies son of an onion well I remember ronnie not to get off on a different podcast but uh I saw a comic critique his act and he took it pretty hard critique ronnie oh really oh yeah and the guy is a big big wig in this biz oh boy run on crumble like a old crouton who's got a big wig yeah I'm trying to think Washington I think kateena turner but either way critique it hurts and you guys have a whole podcast where west

anderson was about to cut his fucking slit his wrist when he heard your thing so uh you're right that's a very good note you just took the took in there fatty well one difference though I have to say and I don't know what this is I assume this note was to his face yes this is a difference we're doing a podcast west anderson doesn't have to watch our pod a lot of these people they tweet at you on your phone you get an uh an alert an alert notification notification that's the word you got a notification going hey you're a big bag of shit your tits are silly and your father hates you because you stink and you go oh why are you writing to me yeah just tweet it out regular because I'm not one of these cycles that searches my name no those days are over yeah so it's not

like we're writing to west anderson here's how you should have done a betty your scumbag true that we're just putting it on youtube which is expected that people can go and talk about whoever yeah all right but I do think it's a good little little thought you had yeah it's tough it's tricky but uh so we're making this film it's all very exciting I don't know it's scary shit but I I've never had one lesson I don't know what I'm doing film is tough too because it's just all in the can there it is here you go put it out in the world stand up you tweak your twerk your twack your uh you try it you try it this way the audience tells you what's what and then you move it along and here's the problem is I hate myself I can't look at myself every scene in the movie I don't

know how you go see it I'm gonna be staring at the back of the head of the asshole in front of me which will probably be you know someone that worked on the movie because no one's gonna buy a ticket for the goddamn thing straight to DVD it's just gonna be my face my teeth my jaw my dick my herpes it's just awful I'm an awful human I'm just a just a yucky thing to look at it's disgusting it's I can't believe anyone ever fucked me at any point in my life yeah we're all shocked that that's a hell of a review though it's a yucky thing it's can't do it it's horrendous and I know Ronan's gonna hate it because he's like show me the script I'll give you notes I'm like you can't read it and the guy I'm making the movie with is like don't let run on anywhere near this script if he sees

it he'll shatter your confidence you won't be able to watch it yeah yeah so it's all pipes Jerry and not to mention we brave it is brave everyone in the movies a comedian we got no actors we gotta we just grab some buddies I'm like this guy sucks he stinks he blows yeah yeah the actor I don't know what we're thinking so it's a big bag of shit I'm gonna kill myself that's the thing about movies too is you're in it you're in in the stew there you can't see outside of it if you think oh I hope this is great hope this is great but how can you really know until it comes out no and of course everyone stew suck clip everyone thinks they're doing they're doing something good no one's ever like ah this is piece of shit although I'm doing it right now but you write it and you're

like maybe this is no good and then you're like no it's good you're like you're right this is the best movie ever right and then you're like you want it to be you get an actor who's good and then you they do an audition you're like unbelievable yeah but then there's always that little sliver of of a sliver tits where it just goes you suck you know this you're a piece of shit you're awful everyone hates you and your family's gonna hate you and you gotta kill yourself but I thought this okay hit me fatty last week two weeks ago uh I was you know I'm like I want to be in the movie business we've talked about this quite a bit on the podcast you're like what am I doing I wanted to do comedy but I'm over here just saying I want to come in my dad's face this is not what I want to

be I want to be a I want to write and direct movies maybe acting some movies and be all these things I never did it then you do it and you're like this is what I want to be doing I'm a film guy I always love film and I go I got this one weekend in Salt Lake City let me go do this I get on the road I land I get to the hotel I'm like I love being on the road what am I talking about you show up at the club the owner's nice the waitress comes back you eat some wings you're shucking jive with the mc and the feature they go can he do a guest spot yeah I got a guest spot the guest spot's going oh my god it's so nice to meet you mr. list and you go have a good time you pinch his ass you touch his cheeks and then you go up there in the crowd they go hey Tuesday and

you start ripping it and you go hey I gotta tell you this is a pretty good backup plan pretty good I mean I'm killing I'm slaying I did a new thing I tried to write you riff something this guy says something you riff off of that I'm like who am I kidding what am I talking about I'm a comedian I'm not moving baby what am I an asshole what am I not West Anderson some hipster asshole this is the best thing I've ever heard you say I'm a comic I'm a comedian yeah you're damn right you're a comic I started when I was 18 I married a comedian I lived with comedians I'm a comedian I wrote a movie with a comedian starring comedians I know it's all comedians we I thought we casted I'm like fuck actors we'll get comedians hell yeah what the hell am I uh well we didn't have a part for

you uh no I'm I'm a comic but yeah yeah sorry but that's my default to say to anybody now no I've met the comic I don't care about the movie I see it's gonna suck but I'm just kidding but uh no you're goddamn comic and the the the movies the beat the beat team that's the side thing side jizz but at least I'm trying I'll get it out of my system I'll go back to the funny bone there you go it's always there for you and there's a reason these Chris Catans and Tim Meadows and Steve O's and Paulie Short all these other queefs the reason there's a reason they go into stand-up one because it's they got they can sell tickets so they get a paycheck but it's also because like hey this is pretty good I'm away from my plus size wife I'm out on the road doing heroin or pills and a bathtub

I've been a four seasons sure I got a shucking jive and I have no time and I'm not a talented stand-up but I never was and I'm just getting a paycheck but it's pretty good it's pretty good and if you're good at it on top and enjoy it nothing better you know what it is that's lunch it's the goddamn you wanna we gotta explode with success that's the high where you can fly private and stay at the four seasons because it's the travel is what it is I hate the I hate the fucking but you get through it and it's fine once you're there it's great I love every minute of being on the road yeah once I'm checked into the hotel the Uber the plane the airport the security the terminal the gate gate change what zone oh the overhead is full middle seat all that

shit is horrible then landing and then you go oh I gotta get back in line oh this lady's taking forever with her back all those little things but then right when you check in all melts away even the check-ins like when you check in you go I'm gonna go for a walk and the thing and then you just go I'll meditate I'll hit the steam room I'll I'll write I gotta meet up with the feature have lunch with him walk around the tent you have no responsibilities in that town no bills this town I got no relationships I got no nothing just I'm just walking around Buffalo like a homeless guy and I love I'm like kung fu I got nowhere to be I'm Zen it's nice I like the isolation I like the writing and everything feels bonus when you're on the road if you get a workout in you're like

alright I worked out because you don't like you say you don't have anything to do like the show is the thing that's the word I'm like I got two shows I work tonight let me get a workout in you're like I worked out amazing good point and then you go I'll write a little even though it's Saturday I'll write a little you go hey I got some work everything feels nice and you check in with a friend you calls up call a buddy phone a friend final answer and I throw another little life hack hit me with that life hack well you know you say the road sucks because of the travel all the little things and I agree so I my manager was like kind of gave me that because a bunch of manager be getting fired just a hot tip hmm yeah like because they're like what are you doing I can

get an assistant for a grand a month why am I paying you 10% of my 200k I just made at whatever it is that's 20 grand I know it's saying I got I'm making a movie yeah so uh I go you know what I had lunch with my manager when they came in for the Netflix thing and they're like don't fire us everybody's getting fire we love you whatever you need so I said well all right if you if you want to make your your your do or whatever I'd like this I told the manager every time I had checked in a hotel I just want the key to be an envelope on the desk and I grab it and I go up to the room that's not too much to ask that's nice and you know because that takes an extra 20 minutes not only you're to wait in line with the family the dad's got eight kids they all have bags the mom's piss

where's the where's the restaurant what time's the pool clothes like hate that and then you're just like I just got on a five-hour flight I'm hungover I'm gay let me just get that key then ID credit card this is for incidentals only here's a map of the town oh come on give me to the room I need to rub one out took story Daniels makes me so I went we tried it for the first time went to Buffalo that was a line and I go I see on the on the desk there's an envelope says mark and I go that's mine took it and they went and I went upstairs that's the best I love that because when I've toured with Louie he's got the assistant they stay at the super hotel and it's exactly that it's just like yeah here's your room you go to your room because I hate the

thing of like breakfast this I'll find all that out it's all posted in the room I know it's all pipes so every hotel's the same like I'll find breakfast I know where the pool is do you have a car with us no I don't live here I'll never come back to your shit down let me give me the key and let me move on with my life and so the fans fans help now we got fans coming out it's so nice appreciate you guys coming out fanny fanny pack take a load off fanny um it's really dead fan it's really nice is he alive ah it's tough to say but let me see if I have anything I feel like I've written anything down in a in a dog's age here because we podcasted nine times last week I know I know uh I'll just say that Netflix was great here here's he talked about reality oh I got nothing

I got okay here's where reality kicks and you ever heard that Larry David story about uh he finally got on Fridays he's like I made some money for the first time I like he was like debating about to be homeless he was on the edge of homelessness he's bombing every night the improv he can't catch a break he got fired from SNL he gets on Fridays he buys a convertible he said he pulled up to a light in LA and somebody goes your show stinks pulled that top up he went right back to the dealer and turned it in that's hilarious I can't be a convertible guy I'm bald whatever so that's how it feels that's reality you make a little money you get you get on TV so I do this Netflix thing and all of a sudden walking around is a guy I kind of had a problem with like a guy who I oh geez you

know you know yeah some college like does he hate me do I hate him what is that so it's one of these guys and he's walking around like a big shot like somehow he got a backstage pass so they're doing makeup and I see the guy and the whole thing's ruined I go ah that guy's here this is like my special day it's my big taping I'm on Netflix I made it and then I gotta think about this guy and so then I see him when he walks by there's no hello and I'm like ah we're back to this shit now and you're like ah everything was gone I was zinging with the makeup guy killing with the hair lady I got my set tight as a drum I'm cooking I can't wait to film I got fans out there and then Dicklas Johnson's there and the whole thing is ruined and I just remember thinking like this is

life oh that sucks I mean it all worked out and we ended up chatting and and cleared the air oh okay bad air bad queef and it was fine but it was still like that like oh yeah like you know you think I'll get to the mountaintop but I'll I'll I'll never have a problem again but they're all they're out there yeah there's always problems and and so many of our problems it has nothing to do with this I got a friend he says a spiritual buddy and he says if you can see it it won't fix it wait a minute that's helpful I don't know I don't get it well you think well if I just buy this jacket or I buy a car if I get this apartment or I put such and such in my bank account those are things you can see it's a spiritual issue

wait what's the hook what do you mean that's there's no hook wait these are things you can see well you think mountaintop you think like I'll get this Netflix special I'll get this thing I'll get that thing there's still gonna be problems right none of these things that you see are gonna fix your problem you think if I get the new iPhone I see if I get the if I get the easy pass if I can get this I'll be convertible going back to this Larry business you get the convertible but if you see it's not gonna fix the issue it's all in here it's all right it's inside internal it's internal it's inside so I'm saying even if you get a Ferrari and a penthouse up on the suite or whatever that's called you're still gonna see the meatball at the show right hate a meatball I like gravy

bad meatball yeah okay but yeah we you're right it's true there's there's always reality out there and uh you know I dealt with it and I'm a grown up and all that blah blah blah but it was still like oh yeah I really got I got swept up in the euphoria and the the glitz and the glam and the jizz a lot of sweeping sweep together yeah sleep together so take me through because I was here the day of the taping Chuck was here we recorded an episode last week's episode I guess I can't keep track anymore yeah classic episode oh great time great oldies hilarious I had to run to go do another thing I had to go to New Jersey yeah for the stress fact stress factory doing the descendants or whatever his show is called uh yes the show depraved to generate uh the depraved which I didn't know till

I got there did you know this have you done the show yet no he's like it's supposed to be nasty offensive you do your most offensive joke ever first uh which I had no idea so I'm like oh shit I gotta go write some offensive nasty weird shit you got some shit jizz well it's all dick and shit that's all I have so I guess that's depravy I threw a couple extra fucks in there what is it depraved depraved what does that mean like I don't you that's a depraved neighbor like they don't have any resources they're fucked let me look up depraved exactly give that a goog I don't know what you hear it all the time I get it depraved yes it's like dark Lewis is dark I get it it's it's bad boy you know whatever James Bond feels depraved it means morally corrupt

and wicked okay well then they nailed it a depraved indifference to human life adjective all right they got it I don't want to be morally corrupt or wicked well you're wicked from Boston I guess wicked piss uh and it's a Broadway show yeah I guess uh depraved it's because Jerry's like she is depraved so she's oh because she has all the sex things ah remember so wait so how was the show show was good it wasn't it was the first one that wasn't sold out but it was pretty full that's staying because I had heard it was like oh my god it's packed it's insane you can't believe it and it was pretty packed but Lewis was disappointed great show uh Karen Fian Lewis Gomez Rich Voss Paul Verzi some other guy couple a couple other guys I don't know there's like those guys now that you

don't know they got lackeys out there now they're like young and then they're funny one guy had a joke I forget his name shit he's a he's a legion of skanksy kind of guy I guess but he had a joke he said I I came out to my parents as a necrophiliac I wish I had done it when they were still alive yeah that's not bad that's great that's pretty good that's a great joke so I thought that was funny and he had some stuff but it was good but I had this thing where I'm like I drove in here to the city parked across the street over there I was like I'll head down early to the stress factory so because I just hate traffic yeah oh yeah I remember that so I left right after the podcast jump in the car get across you're still sitting a fucking ton of traffic then I get out there and

I'm like now it's like three o'clock I'm already through the traffic but I'm like what am I gonna do get to stress fat I'm gonna do Brunswick at four o'clock well that's when you go right well so I said you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna go down the shore I love the shore so I got I got some extra time I went down to red bank New Jersey which I got my eyes on that red bank you like head to red bank yeah it's very expensive it's nice I want to buy a house at some point do you like the red you like not too close to the ocean because you know climate change is going to drown all of us in a couple days sure it's a myth whatever so I drive down to red bank and I just parked the old car and strolled around here we go somewhere pretend it's your life

yo my god what do you think I do in these ladies apartments so I go I'm gonna walk around oh this would be my Starbucks I go get a Starbucks I try to fuck a teenager there I go walk by okay there's my movie theater that's the restaurant that's this I'll go to this beach I'm just fantasizing walking around looking at houses I stopped by a couple for sale so I look in there and then you hope people in the town like oh he lives here yeah exactly it adds to it so I walk around I'm red bad I'm texting Sam like we're moving to red bank in a couple weeks don't worry about it she's I've never even been there I'm like shut your mouth I make tons of money yeah but I never said that of course but anyway so you know I went to a what do you call it

uh the store with the old shit in it antique no not antique the other one uh the clothes thrift the thrift store I tried on a couple pairs of heels and a nightgown and that was fun you gotta sniff that gown though you don't know where that's been so I you know I looked at surf boards I'll maybe I'll be a surfer on one of these assholes right right and then I went to the brothers Italian restaurant had a nice chicken parm read my lines man you're living life fatty walked around talked to Derek it was a nice little life got some sea air yeah jump in drive over to Brunswick see Lewis he's got a he's got a big fight that he's probably gonna lose but I got money on him because I don't want to hurt his feelings fine the big fight hold the big raise I forgot

about the big fight I gotta get a bet on that too I might go I might go it's in Vegas I might go check out let's go wouldn't that be fun hey live gaze well what when uh November 13 oh November written down I'll be down for that I got a fat hundo on on our boys I'll put a hundo on the other guy just to make it a queefy November 13th what some guy and who knows but all right uh but anyways hung out with Lewis did a good show fun show and then I went on early Karen Fianna she jumped in the car we drove back together dropped her off she is fine apartment is that right oh nice apartment downtown wow 9 11 drop her off and not that far down I see so I drop her off I never forget and felt good I think speaking to only fans I think she's cleaning up oh that's right I mean she

must be she's got a hell of a place oh yeah not that I start but uh drop her off and then I said well let me go see old Marcus at the special but I look at the clock it's like 11 o'clock and then I'm thinking well you kept saying you got too many people messaging you emailing you texting you on the list and I'm on the list I know but you know I'm like it's time square I'm like what am I gonna do I'm gonna park I'm gonna show up I'll see it's late my garage closes at midnight overthinking it and the garage closes at midnight and then you're already swamped and swarmed then I'm going as mark back there can I get to mark can I see mark and then I go you know what I saw him today I'll shoot him a text I'll find out how it went so I apologize but the garage it closes

a lot of disappointed gays there there's a lot of kids in the front row too is gay I'm gonna do a guest spot special day where they hung out they they oh get out of here what do you call me entered and I know where's this oh my he's coming he's coming hey look I want to buy some uh denial kid at a little league game dad's coming meanderthal there's no one meandering I mean it was your night your special night by the way you got any cookies for me well what's good for the goose is good for the gander because uh old Antoine himself the cookie monster he said four boxes what well wait five let me get a box half a box he gave one every comedian on my show and one for you well where's my box well what's in the box I hate that movie it's a good movie

they try their hardest they critique Brad Pitt's very good all right so I got all these boxes of cookies backstage one virgin lj one for brian simpson one for me and one with your name on it looking for him he's got the seal on that you know he puts it in a huge ziplock and then the box I know I love that and then individually wrapped inside the seal that guy's unbelievable seal great singer now I hate that guy yeah he's got bad face but kiss from a rose on my anal but uh so the setup backstage I got yours sealed I go hey everybody's got their own box all the comics are digging in Antoine's is killing everybody's like the crew guys like what the fuck is this holy shit all these guys uh you know with the the battery packs and

fanny packs and yeah fudge pack and they're like oh my god these are I'm like best cookies in America we're all ma chocolate all over here and then we do the show that's one show now they're eating more where I'm rewarding myself I must add 14 cookies and they got eaten I hate to say it but they people ate my cookies well somebody did I had my own box somebody went to town and ate your wife's oh the hell ate my cookies uh he brought them for me they're on the bar they're in the craft service area they're in the backstage they oh it was like pizza boxes had a sleepover they were just whipping through them oh my god my box I know and I I didn't even get all mine either they mine were gonna be put 10 in a box I think and I only had four of them Antoine you gotta get me some

fresh cookies here yeah I got fucked I bet it's that Chris Allen yeah yeah yeah he's fat because I know he likes the cookies you can tell by looking at him who knows but I mean the Netflix they thought they got some good comedy now they got a couple of good baked goods hey ho Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by Lucy nicotine gum look I grew up in the 90s everybody was ripping butts and squeezing cheeks and pulling feathers what do you call that cancer stick the whole thing uh you know they call them a different thing in London not gonna say it but all I know is all my friends smoked they were packing those boxes they were ripping butts they were throwing those filters on the floor and stomping on them and the ladies loved it but

they're hard to kick you can't stop them it's like broke back mountain I can't quit you but you gotta quit they're not good for you unlike nicotine which is great for you and feels good and that's really all you get addicted to it's not the tar the the weird cancery chemical stuff in there the nicotine that's all you want Lucy was founded by Caltech scientists former smokers who wanted to help people quit they'd set out to create a better and cleaner nicotine alternative it took three years of research and experimenting and they made it happen baby they made Lucy a nicotine gum that actually tastes good it comes in three flavors wintergreen cinnamon and pomegranate I like pomegranate each has four milligrams of nicotine

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all right so take me through it tell me I left you here you're with jock there's a bunch of cameras I felt bad so uh Jesus Christ keep it moving g-man looks like the arch of the triumph every time he does that I've never seen him do this without you here he's obsessed with you all right that's gonna knock over the water there what do you call precarious yes he's these nimble this twink my neck hurts my neck hurt oh Jesus never seen it oh god he stepped on my neck that was a testicle watch the nuts he wants that water he likes the condensate take that condensate take that one you fat horde that that one the cup I don't know what pointing is there you go get on it it's not so condensated that's a little condensated at the bottom you

got the bottom look at the base lick the base all right so uh I don't know if that's in frame that sucks they'll get the gist you're not missing much a cat tongue you can google that low gist yes joe gist so uh great great day show up at five which is nice I gotta say you've done it I don't know if it's changed but Netflix does it right we've done a lot of comedy central a lot of 30 rocks and conans and all this shit but Netflix does it right they let you get there at five the show is at seven oh okay which is pretty rare you know sound check all that shit they do sound check two minutes uh you show up you get hair makeup they go this is what you're wearing they always do that what I which I hate because it's a little insulting you're like these are the best clothes I

own and they uh they do the hold up maybe put that on the table so it gets a little uh a little visual stimuli for the folks at home there you go there we go is that what you do that works I think that's a horse some people do this one oh yeah that's it because that's a horse and this is a yeah his eyeball on your package there because you got the water bottle near it either way he's licking the the wood which that's fun all right not bad right now that first one was better yeah all right so yeah it was just great it was uh hey this is where you're gonna stand now here's the only snafu about these these uh production people there's too many handlers uh Chelsea you know like uh hey oh come over here now come over here now okay y'all done

you want to go to your you want to go to your green room you want to go to your green room like no I'm good I'm good PA's yeah you're like I know I do this every weekend they're like you're tired you're tired you're like we haven't even shot yet like you want to lay down you want to lay down like I don't want to lay down but they just have nothing to do so they're like worried about me I'm like you're actually making me more uncomfortable and more awkward right so you're making it worse but whatever you try to be nice you want to be uh you know a diva out there but either way uh just great shoot I had to go I had the two worst spots on each show what were the spots first and third yes first first on the first show so they have pete diaba diabru diabru funny guy he does warm up

but it's like 10 minutes like clap your hands over here clap your hands over there and I was like do a bit please do a bit he does one bit at the end it's cute he's a funny guy and then it's just boom me now I gotta give a shout out to the gays because there's a guy in the front row comedy shirt I'm talking Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday quiff it up that's hanging all quiff praise all the whole thing that's lunch and uh they were really giving it up but I did scare a lot of people there's like a black lady over here like Jesus Christ I had like a lot of my jokes I think I came out swinging and then a lot of them were like this is horrendous like this is dark and and uh scary stuff I'm talking holocaust isn't real trans BLM I went all in okay all right so maybe that's good maybe that's bad

but I it's all approved I think it'll be good if they approved and they were watching they liked it by the way this this water is done because you lick the top of it so you might as well just stick it right in his ass it was a toppling I watched the top like we can go to the tape it went right in the room no way I watched wow better than my wife so so yeah that was the first show then by the of course by the end of the end of this first show they were ripping everybody was killing I was like I warmed them up but but then the next one you get to go third that's when I got to go third and I tell you we got it on the can in the first one like on the can in the can and we got it on hit it on the head nail nail on the head thank you and then you know a little downtime you shake

some babies and then the third the second show was just like ah you have that relief like I got it that's the best feeling in the world because when I did it I had the opposite I ate shit on the first show I wanted to kill myself wow I was like this is the worst panic attack I had the ulcer not ulcer what do you call it not cancer canker on my back of my throat I was gonna take my own life it was bad news bears but then the second one ended up being fine although I still to this day get messages being like sorry the crowd sucked I thought you were great I'm like did they suck that bad yeah well since you said I'm letting that day yeah just let her take it all right him all right cat uh so tell me about the second show so now you got it in the can you're feeling good you feel

loose you're feeling groovy yeah and it's fun because you watch the first guys who were on after me on the first show now they're like oh god now they're nervous because they got to go first and so they go up they have a good set and I'm like all right I feel good and when you the best feeling in the world was a comic is when you go I don't even care if they like me I'm just doing what I do because I already got it right so whether I bomb or not I don't care I got it so blow me down and I went out there and just riff raff mess with the guy in the front row I might have been too loose where the I think the crew was like what is he doing at one point I couldn't my throat had a big wad of flaminin I was like ah that's even that's killing and I'm like it was a big load

and then they're like Jesus and then the crew after was like that load stuff was gold because all they see is this written material so they were like they're like we might leave that in like that that killed I was like it was a small one guy he was huge you know all this shit what are they trying to get pregnant they're leaving the load in hello all right laundry so uh just riffing and raffin and Chris Allen was there and he was like I knew you got on the first one because you were like really fucking around up there and it was fun to fuck around on Netflix like yeah let me just do what I'm doing here I'm doing what I do I've always done what I do yeah grammar voodoo that you do so shoot baby shoot good time ate some cookies got some high fives I got a lot of like messages

from people in LA like we already heard you kill we heard you went loose we heard about the the Samoan the load the semen I was like Jesus Christ after party no after party COVID oh COVID and they're wearing masks no masks tell me about the mass situation massive the COVID ruined everything it just kills the mood it's it's a one big condom the COVID you know it's no fun you can't ever rip it off you can't ever feel skin to skin so first of all there was a girl whose job it was just to tell you to put up that was her whole job I don't understand like in the green room you had to wear a mask isn't it vaccinated and we're all Vax we all got tested multiple times they'd be like we should test you again I think you went outside and farted I saw

that and I come back and you're like jeez Louise okay and then they do the swab and they got to take it all seriously and then you catch a lot of people with their mask down and they're like oh sorry I forgot you're like okay so we all forgot and yet we're still doing it like we all at one point had no mask but now we have a mask and it's it's all optics let's be honest but you just try to play ball and you go with the flow and you go ahead to special night and one lady was like I gotta be honest they're being so strict about this this might be the one of the last performed performances where we they allow no mass for the audience God I know it's just scary I know you thought we were coming out of it then Delta and Lambda Chi so June it was June we were

like June bug but it was great I don't want to take away then we all got drunk after and I woke up in a hungover stupor and had to fly to Buffalo and I'm like all right back to reality there goes rabbit good hang fun hang good hang I felt bad it was a little bit of like let's walk over here oh that bar is closed oh that bar is closed okay we found one hey there's some Netflix people here we do shots we hung out and then you're like oh it's four and there's about three of us here so might as well go home yeah I'd rather do a later party you know what I mean like at the next night hey we're all gonna get back together and celebrate the big taping right because the night of you're going through your head you're like what was that that was weird I said that and you can't be present

so hard to be present yeah yeah or a small diner hang is nice you know two like yours yeah just a couple people go that was great that was fun yeah I will say I want to give a shout out to Brian Simpsons I'd never seen the guy never met the guy we really hit it off that guy is gonna be huge I'm calling it right now he was on the show smart funny black guy little shorter guy but just he's got a great comedy brain like you hear Joe you're like oh that's good oh it is so much bad comedy when you see good comedy you're like oh yeah I love comedy yes exactly and so small percentage of good all the other people I all knew but he didn't he didn't he was a guy I didn't know and I was pleasantly surprised and we just hit I feel like we connected on a lot of stuff and

had the similar reviews on comedy and all this shit so great guy he's I'm telling you right now you don't know him but he will be I can't wait to the moon I met him for a second the night before at the cellar I already like him and now I'm excited to see this business yeah he's gonna be a hot hot number oh they had a fart oh no just threw the legs but yeah all good and then going straight to Buffalo the next day was like oh yeah I'm a comedian I'm on the road again but Buffalo's fun that's a good club I love that my album there one of my albums that's a great spot right that's right where I met Steve Rogers oh yeah big dick big Stevie Dick Rogers but I mean that's an interesting choice for a club it's not a huge market not a huge market but as well you know at

that time I wasn't doing a ton of great clubs that's a great club and they were nice enough to have me and then cut out the check spot which was nice but it was pretty lightly attended I can tell you that well it didn't sound like it in the compact disc well I appreciate that so check it out it's streaming or whatever are you mad at me isn't it amazing that that was that was the one with the hoodie right yeah and then you wrote another hour since then and that was VU VU yeah and then you have a new hour new hour yeah you have that much but I mean that's a lot three hours it's pretty good and there's an album before that that's really bad that's pretty good yeah then there was the Netflix half hour which was not on any albums that's four and a half there you go this cat's got a real

not a movie yeah well get it up what'd you say I said I don't even know anymore all right well knock it up knock it off oh geez we gotta wrap this thing up but yeah I gotta wrap it up I gotta take a piss so bad I couldn't piss because I was nervous earlier and here's the other thing the Netflix they let you edit it what yeah well they let you help oh that's nice so I'm telling you the loogie thing in there they do it right they really do it right oh wow well the the the the booker was like oh you forgot that but you don't want to lose I was like oh my god you know my act yeah that's nice boy they're good nice well the night before when you brought some of them to the club I had this best set of my life so I'm hoping I can make a pitch I mentioned that to the guy who's

like oh yeah that guy ripped it oh that's nice that feels good yeah I thought you were Greer Barnes but still it was a great night great show hopefully it turns out good I haven't seen a blip of it yet so I could be talking out of my ass but I feel good about it it's gonna be awesome it's gonna be awesome it's gonna look great it's gonna sound great I think you should keep the semen thing in there and I think it's gonna be huge yeah this is gonna be big well that's what we thought about yours so we'll see good point skies the limit limits the sky that joke all right we gotta wrap it up I will be at helium in Philadelphia September 23rd to the 25th I booked helium buffalo but not till May or something of next year but got some hot 2022 dates coming your

way 2021 I have Royal Oak Michigan that's September 30th October 1st and 2nd banana is the weekend after that October 8th and 9th and then Chicago Zany's coming up in December oh my god helium in Portland also in December I got some fun dates coming up and some big projects going on so go subscribe to YouTube and get on the Patreon for God's sakes we got a new hot gay sets out right now yes we got a bonus episode we just did we got all kinds of bonus shit up there tons of hot kids like a tv show you miss it out if you're not on there so get on there it's a hot channel you don't want to miss it plus the old stuff don't get me started and we're gonna do a live show in New York City coming up right the villager underground maybe we'll see what happens but

get your ducks in a row get your dicks in a hoe and uh we'll make it work I'm at Nashville Zany's I'm at the Buckhead Theater in Atlanta in December please come out to that I'm terrified of tickets uh I think West Palm Beach is cooking Albany funny bone and New Orleans for Thanksgiving I'm doing the Howlin Wolf the first place I ever got paid to do comedy I'm doing Milwaukee I'm doing Madison got a lot of fun dates coming up a lot of Wisconsin I love Wisconsin I love America I love the Jews and uh we'll see you in hell praise I'll uh blow you dead Georgia State got it