Tuesdays with Stories! - #464 Tard and Feathered

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Mark jets to a private Costa Rica gig for a mysterious man and lives to tell the tale. Joe deals with a mask hypocrite, his baseball career continues to grow, and an old lady rooks him in line for an international flight!!! Sponsors: - Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/Tuesdays for 10% off your first month. - Head to https://policygenius.com/TUESDAYS to get your free life insurance quotes to see how much you could save. - Visit https://www.expressvpn.com/tuesdays Our Stuff: - Subscribe to our Patreon for the ad-free version of the show, weekly bonus episodes, and more! patreon.com/tuesdays - Subscribe to our YouTube channel here for full video of every episode: https://youtube.com/c/TuesdayswithStories SUBSCRIBE: https://bit.ly/2ABEe1w

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy check those tits you know my mom used to do that dance at parties and I got Jesus right sister she's got a huge old lady deeds with the freckle and the problems there big mistake as a kid seeing that old lady

D's that sounds like a nice breakfast nook yeah going down to old lady D's to get a couple pancakes and a hot dog or what I'll get the chicken breasts cuz they're old and they are sour who big cans yeah they're fun does breast milk go sour oh yeah I think so I think like ten minutes after it's out of the tit it's got to go straight from tit to mouth I think is that right now they put in the fridge they put it in the fridge you see fridge yeah I think they put in the fridge but it's got a I drank some on you know what dude podcast from Kelly's all right all right sorry Bobo big fan for the July killed it whoo no what's his

toes Lewis Gomez yeah has a wife and that be Beatrice beige she's a fun lady we did a thing we all passed it around and it was kind of hot in a weird way well it's funny cuz she's a pretty lady sure and the breast milk probably is more enticing if it's from a hot lady yes yeah I wouldn't want you know breast milk from Roseanne Barr you might get crazy an ambient did you see the meme of Lewis and Dave Smith talking with the three thought bubbles no oh I saw I didn't read it though I went like one of the best jokes ever it's classic oh really Lewis said I forget the title but it's Louis I must I hope it happened in real

life and they just made a meme out of it but he says you know they used to call me the Joe Rogan of MMA podcasts and then Dave says you used to call yourself that and then Lewis says yeah but that's my pronoun so how about a little respect oh they used to call me that's a great joke and he says now you did that and he goes yeah that's that's great I'm like that's as good a joke as I've heard in 20 years good for him boy Lewis is funny guy and in writing you know yeah that's even better than it still worked it's less scary that's true he is a frightening man when he's talking to you I you know it's funny I just got a

text from today and he always get that Lewis text like oh is he outside is he gonna fight me what's going on but he's he's in Costa Rica ah and you're in Costa Rica I was just there a lot done pack yeah we'll get there I got a lot to a lot of international travel you're international I'm international I was in Canada ah less fun oh yes oh boy no way yeah only say hey hey cup that was more Italian hey and they go oh hey oh boy they're fun the sexy people the swarthy tan abusive yeah all all good all positives in my mind your tongue Portuguese oh Portuguese did you see that what happened when he

got on your arm there by the bug no it was it came out of my mouth I think it's a it's a blueberry I brushed and floss it might be spinach looks like a blueberry to me movie yeah blue sorry everybody we'll cut that I you know it's funny as I was drinking the other day and I just drooled you ever have that you just drinking you're like oh I drooled 10 15 times a day yeah yeah no Doyle drools but it's and I saw a girl catch me at a restaurant she was like is he off is he is he a spaz what's going on there I drew dude I hit 40 I mean you better watch out buddy you're next oh no I hit 40 and everyone says when you hit 40 your

body this and that and 40 where do you hit 40 and I was like all right well we'll see I run I got an ingrown toenail it looks like somebody sat on like it looks like I stuck it up Chuck's ass it's all brown and purple and then I got a knee thing I was doing a stand-up paddleboard it was so windy that I went on my knees like I was sucking a cock and now I got some kind of fluid in there you got a capper Nick and then my asshole just rash it's braille in there it's it's horrible I peeked in the mirror I threw up wait your asshole is right braille it's red and bumpy it's just a it's horrible and maybe I mentioned

this before I think I tweeted it when you have a irritant an irritated asshole you're smearing shit across it that's true imagine you had road rash on your arm from a bike accident yeah and then every day you just took shit and just rubbed it in there and your butt cheeks keep it in yes they keep and they squish around what do you call that squish squish rubbing friction friction stranger than friction yes it's bad news bears and then it's I'd say my taint I'm all itchy I got a sore knee and my father's gay well I think the the moral story here is we both got a sack up suck it up and get the bidet we got to get

the bidet yeah every Tom Dick and anal has a bidet I get people at homeless people have bidets we gotta just just nut up and do it yeah bidets with stories but yes I'm having a pretty bidet myself bad day yeah it wasn't great but your bag you just got back yesterday foggy yeah I just been you know when you're out in the mountains just absorbing life drinking alcohol doing drugs having sex sunlight queef sand the beach snorkel you know your brain goes yeah you get down to that I call it geographical Xanax where you're just like I got another care in the world yes and now I gotta get back up to old

anxiety town yeah now you're working you got some sets because you must be itching for I'm itching I'm itching like your asshole and I got sets tonight I got pods today so I just like to throw myself back in the first 12 minutes it's it's a bumper car ride but then you you would just yeah I find you need the day after the vacation you got a vacation come back I have one more day with very minimal things to do yeah yeah I couldn't I couldn't hack it but crazy traveled it coming back you go oh this is why no one travels this is hell I don't want to jump the gun here but left at 8 a.m. got home at midnight

ooh I know and you gotta you just can't even think about it's got to go through it don't go oh god that's 12 hours left there's nine hours you just gotta head down and queef you're really gonna remind yourself that it's worth it it was worth the thing but life happens in the moment so once you've left the vacation you're in the line at customs yeah not getting the vacation vibe anymore exactly and don't you find that people say live in the moment live in the moment but it's so hard to live in the moment when it's good because you're right you don't even realize it's a moment but when the moment sucks it's so like when

you're planking you're like I am in this moment baby this sucks and that's when you need to get out of the moment but when you're living I even realize I was in the moment right I think when you're really in the moment you're not assessing whether it sucks or is great you're just in it that's exactly right then it's over though but then afterwards that's because it always happens we are like wow I was really happy then I didn't even realize that's true yeah it's a funky monkey but I just had a thing last night where I had been I took July off from the road I went to Montana for a week and I went to Maine for a week and

I was doing sets around town and that full video coming by the way Jackson he's on it he's a great editor he said it's one of those things where you have this where he's got the he pulled a chuck you know he's got the footage for months and months and months I was about to make a joke and I held back Chuck's hung over so he's not even smiling at this one and he's a day older happy birthday to see man happy birthday Chuckie big 4-0 ground Chuck 38 38 good year wow that's surprising he thought he was 15 he thought it was older you're younger than Mark where were the same age basically how about the same age basic are you

damn yeah still at the Epstein yeah so you know you're the youngest one here that's shocking young book but you feel like an old soul you know especially today you feel like a hundred year old soul there we go I'm having a lot of yeah I don't know if you gotta go shit and puke we can hold down I'm alright you're doing the Lord's work you're pushing through I mean I've been hung over on this many times yeah good man I've never been hung over on this fun even at the beginning we started after a sobriety wow but any jizz so my boy Jackson he's he's editing the thing but so what happens is I keep going Jackson where's

this video here it's been six months the folks are clamoring finally he sends it he goes well I need notes because it's an hour long he sends it to me and I'm like I'm not gonna watch that yeah yeah so now I'm the guy with the thing going I'll get to that when I get to it I completely agree but that is his gig you know it's it's your gig to listen to sets write jokes get up so it is a lot I don't want to listen to anything I've never listened to one Tuesdays I think I've done a half hour and I slipped my wrist and I moved on I listened to literally one and it was the one with Scotland green the Russian red balls and

it's the hardest ever laughed in my life well Scotland's a funny guy go find that episode is it on the patreon where the guess what I have no idea episode 9 maybe that's old it was years ago but man we were crying laughing those were the days not a worry in the world Scotland green yeah we probably can't even put it out now we probably said the n-word seven times or whatever I'll snip them like a like a doctor on birthday or whatever yeah who does that mobile mobile rabbi isn't it gas no it's called a boy oh yes Billy Boyle I had a Boyle lanced a Boyle rules you know you can name a Jew Lance or a Boyle you name a Boyle

Lance because he's kind of lancing Lance Lance Lance we he's got to be Jew right no no he's a big boy all right boy oh boy well I had something with the breast milk and I lost it my ass fuck my dad I can't think of it that will smell my mom had huge jugs yeah oh I got it back let me let me throw this at you there fat man or right in my ass it's a little bumpy good wouldn't it be weird like a lot of women are you know men are groping or or ogling is it ugly or ogling oogling I don't think it's ooh no that's goo I go I go I go I go I say I think it's ugly too but I heard ogling once and I go shit that's a

sunglass I think give it a good give it an oog but so I was you know women they get ogled their tits are out whatever we all like tits men have dreams about tits we look at I look at Instagram I go to my for you page it's tits Seinfeld and tits yes me too I throw baseball but a lot of tits yeah I got some ass maybe an ass if they're lucky maybe a camel toe or a little boy but what if men thought about tits the way women think about balls this be a whole different society wouldn't be covering them up you'd never see it if one slipped out you go ah like it's a toss-up you have to think of your lady what would you rather would you

rather the ogle the worship the praise or would you rather have no ogle and be people be disgusted by these chesticles yes interesting well one thing I mean the maybe you're not asking for the reasons but the ball bag is very wrinkly tits are very smooth of course nice but yeah I don't know I mean cuz my balls I don't want anyone to see the very red very itchy yeah it's not good a couple of wiggly fumes I got worms you know me I got the very very socially very however you say it coasts yeah but there's a term for when you have it in your balls it's spelled very coaxily there is a silly somebody correct me once

it's like the triangle Italian villa where you going this year very coaxily they better coaxily but yeah I don't know I mean I'm sure that rather have the beautiful it sucks to get peered at sniffed but when it comes time to reveal them that's got to be fun of course of course and then you get the bra and you get the the the side boob there's a lot of options with tits you get the up cleavage you get the bottom cleavage you get the side yeah and they feed you and I love a sit in the face and look up at the I want and I think we talked about this years ago I want like a strap on dildo thing but you're wearing around

your face like your mouth and then she fucks and then you heard like Clinton just snacking on her nose but I got a conservative dame you know sure she doesn't want to see me with a dick on my face I do that's all I want to see but wait a minute what is Chuck's birthday yeah Chuck don't get dick in my face like a clown wait a minute did I'm sure that exists the mouth exists okay I'm just saying I don't have the wife that's like all right strapped the dick because first of all comedians were too cynical were too silly should be laughing her ass off of course one of these women with tattoos and the side of the head

shaved you know that looks like Chuck if he was clean shaven right a couple tattoos sure sure because I see those women around and I think man I could have done all right with one of those yeah they're out there and they're a bold and adventurous yeah they got scars up their arms they got like a pirate ship on a tit yeah that's who I want of the bullhorn the thing to the nose oh yeah septum yeah you've been with a couple of those yeah my lady's got a septum she would love see that's in between men and women if a woman's like hey do this to me try this and be like okay but your ladies like I can't sit on

your face yeah I think I mean I haven't thrown this one out there but I just don't see her as doing it and it's hard because I talk about this a lot after the orgasm now I got a unstressed I just have a dick sticking out of my face I got on straight it's so silly that's the problem that's where sobriety affects you in sex when you're drinking you're like just take a shit my mouth fuck it who cares yeah when you're sober you're like it is but you gotta get through the hump it's kind of like acting you're a good actor oh thank you you know you have that moment when you're acting and you're going okay I'm crying or my dad's

dead I'm hard whatever and you have to go everybody's watching me but fuck it just keep going right own it commit I can't do that yeah it's very hard but with sex I can do it it's very hard cuz you feel so silly you feel silly my gal likes being insulted in bed and I can't do it well because I do it but I hate it because she asked me to do it so then you're like you just asked me now I'm saying it it's a force and stupid but you gotta pretend she's not there because when our wives aren't around we're trashing them you know what I mean not you and I I'm just saying man in general but also where we are men sure

barely yeah but I hear you pretend she's not there but then I'm just what am I fucking up now there's nothing here well you gotta look the other way and be like yeah the other day this piece of shit she you know she knocked up my door while I was you know masturbating right maybe here's what I'll do I'll get doggy style I'll put a photo of you up in the corner real small so you won't notice it and then I'll start talking to you about her yeah that's not bad that's not bad this could be a bit I like it it's decent okay this will definitely hurt my erection though so what I started saying about 75 minutes ago right no no that

was a good digress but so last night I haven't been doing set I did Toronto I'll get into that I had two shows but I hadn't done a set for a week before that because I was in Maine I had his other shit going on yeah yeah and so I did two shows then I had the next three nights off and you know what it is the outlet you need the outlet I like it on airport holes Jerry you need the out of the creative outlet to write and try and do stuff I think in your mind and I do you do need time off too I really believe but I took like a month off from really working I was doing some sets here and there but I got the podcast the movie

promotion the bullshit yeah last night yesterday I had minimal stuff to do during the day and four sets at night you don't have that for you're like I got to make something to this yeah yes I got to use it yes I got to use it so I wrote all day not by all day you know a couple hours bounce bits with Chavone was Rogers BD Rogers and then I had the four sets and I really worked it and it felt so good and I was like I've been missing this that creative outlet yes because these podcasts and the promotion it's fun but it's not quite an outlet no no outlet it's just work it's promotion it's press you gonna press tour and press

is exhausting but you don't really maybe get a joke in here and there but it isn't fulfilling right creatively right it's not as as fulfilling I mean this is fun the best part of the podcast now our podcast is we get to hang you got that right it's a nice hang yeah it's nice and I wouldn't even see you I know it's sad that we're so busy you know it's a bittersweet jizz but yeah you know we have to make at least we're monetizing our hang but it is strange it's very strange but we got a little bit before we talk that's that's the highlight to me of the pod is that 18 minutes of us shit chatting jibber jab and chopping it up

cleafing it up and then we go on the mic because it's a different thing it's a different thing it's a different shit but because some I gotta tell you another big nugget off the air big nugget Denver huge nug I mean this is like this is like what you're gonna go like this what what yeah I'm pumped see this is why you gotta go on the patreon folks I feel like the patreon is a window into our normal seat not normal we're not normal there's no chance of that there's herpes and jizz but you know you get a little more window into the the real life boy is the patreon jizzing we got a live app coming up too by the way we

might have Ari oh great is that good you like Ari I love Ari I love Ari yeah cuz he said yeah he's such a pretentious asshole sometimes I'm like come to Royersford road trip it's gonna be fun he's like well I have a thing I'm not leaving the city during the summer you're just in Paris you do you're in Paris for two weeks also I'm like we're not leaving the city yes we're driving to Royersford doing jokes and coming back we're not fucking moving to Royersford to write a novel you fucking douche short of the metanites you heave come on although we might see some on the way leave the city yeah we'll be in a car

where we live in the city we'll be in a car I'll be like we're in a city in the car yeah yeah don't don't go to the pier you might you might fall over and leave the city get out of here with the city can we go to the Jersey Shore melt like fucking Bert Lancaster and feel the dreams don't fall asleep on the LIR are you might land in Levittown and have to kill yourself hey there folks Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by better help oh yeah you have to take care of your mind it's we spend so much time taking care of our skin our hair our teeth I don't do any of that and so little care of the most important body

part the brain the health of your brain affects how you experience life it's the only thing I mean there's nothing else to affect your life here investing time and energy and mental health is crucial to being happy eating right working out and getting plenty of sleep are a great start but there is no substitute for talk therapy better help makes online therapy accessible convenient and affordable we love there everyone in this room is in therapy Chuck might have to go twice a week we love therapy you're going to therapy right the other day you just left for therapy I had to kick you out the other day cuz I had therapy and of

course Mark well you took a break and I gotta get back it shows folks better help is online therapy that offers video phone and chat therapy sessions you can choose to not see anyone on camera because some of these people are ghouls it's much more affordable than in-person therapy you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours Tuesday's listeners get 10% off their first month at better help dot com slash Tuesday's that's better H E L P dot com slash Tuesday's hey folks Tuesday's stories brought to you by policy genius anyone who relies on you financially a child apparent or a business partner will have

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over such a swirl of shit right now this is the problem with hangovers it's the anxiety it's the mental like I can deal with queasy I can deal with like tired and run down yeah it's the mental that fucks you yeah it's tough I also I'm trying to you know I have to be careful on the podcast now I'm watching every word I say well you can't listen to 3,000 people you got another other I really think social media is fucking up the world of the country because I think about it like this I had this dumb shower thought while I was you know fingering my pussy but that was your upper it come again so that was your

armpit needs a shave but there's a Wharton there which is like a clip all right but imagine a coach okay and then a coach had eight trillion people going you should do this you should use it you have a horrible team yeah it feels like that's where we're at with the country it's like yeah yeah everybody's piping in and we listen to some people and we read some of it and let them absorb some of it but that person's a TARD who shouldn't be coaching the WNBA Seattle storm TARD and feather well that's title yeah yeah you just be O'Doill drools that's a perfect that's a perfect analogy because that's why the coaches they hate the

media because what happens is the coach is an expert on football or basketball whatever and he's got to go to a press conference they make it you know necessary same with us with social media and then you got a guy who looks like me and went to Harvard and goes oh pardon me coach how come you didn't hit and run there in the seventh and he's going I've played baseball my whole life you piece of shit you fucking nerd I'll fucking beat the shit out of you you fuck exactly and then the guy goes and writes well I'll tell you what he should have done is little scoopity boopity boopity boo oh yeah yeah and that's why but sometimes those writers they're dead on sometimes a tweet is dead on but

you gotta sift through nine zillion of these cum stains out there who got a who got a bone to pick and you know it's too much I think you know look you gotta not look I'll tell you some funny stuff off the air about it oh I can't wait oh geez oh you get someone to suck you off I mean yeah but that's not part of it Jen by the way good for you Jen speaking of I shouldn't segue from sucking off to this but last night I was at the stand two of the most attractive you know when you're on stage stand pulls in some numbers you know when you're on stage and there's beautiful women everywhere but then there's like two over here that I'm like this wow geez yeah those are standouts aha yeah you have a good set whatever I'm standing upstairs talking to you know Tom Dick

and Harry and then these two ladies I remember I remember seeing those ladies wow they're beautiful then they stand at the they sit at the bar and you go oh well they're at the bar that's interesting sure sure you keep tabs on a hottie don't you oh yeah you gotta know where everyone's at just yeah your wife might die you never know let's hope keep it rolling there for that eat come on you you you're moving so I'm sitting there and then the two I sense movement like a Jurassic Park you know I'm talking I see movement and these two smoke shows steamboats you know clinkers steamboat that's a new one that's a keeper hold on to that steamboat willy they come over they come by and they stop and they go I guess they're just kind of like a milly well you know

yeah the milly millies uh they tuck it they come by and go whoa hey whoa Nelly they go hey it was great great sat you're very funny you know I could feel my legs start to shake because I haven't talked to a woman since uh you know bush was still in office right right in the Parkinson's so my leg is shaking I go oh thanks well you know it's hard work and they go well it's uh we've never been here we go to the cellar a lot and I say wow the stand is a little more hip it feels like a feels like a what do you call it a scene sure very scene it's almost night clubby over there and I say uh it feels like you come here to meet people and then they go oh yeah maybe that's what we should be doing meeting people wait a minute are we full on

flirting here fatty well I don't know anything about anything okay but uh I'm I'm a retarded person so then I just start putting my head down I'm like this well so anyways I don't know and then this lady there's two both equally attractive and this one goes by the way I'm a huge Tuesday I gotta get out of here I mean are you trying to hurt me are you trying my rash got worse because just diarrhea shot everywhere oh and then there was what's his name Damian you know Damian lemon now the he's got a bald head he's a massive guy he's a fireman in Connecticut I think oh I do know that guy yeah very nice big guy he's a fun guy because he's one of those guys you're scared of you're like I take that guy away from me but now he's swole that guy he's beefy

looks a little chromagnum I thought it was swell swell is good he's a swell guy a swole swollen swole that's where it comes from swole it's like jacked ah yeah I thought it was swell I'm swell swell it's good I was like I'm having a swell day that's a good point yeah I have a point swole all right well he's swollen he's swell yeah he's a swole swell so anyways he's sitting there he's like jeez that was crazy and then uh he was like boy I was really into the one on the left and I was like I like the one on the right better oh and then you're like in this alternate universe with me and this big bouncer MMA firefighter a cake at home two two names wow wouldn't it wouldn't be nice if life was that easy you could just have that cake and fuck it too yeah well who

know that probably not particularly interested in either one of us he's 68 and got bad knees and I got bad knee bad asshole and you know horrible teeth and a forehead and they approached you just saying wow they approached knowing I'm a married asshole ah a goik and dream that's all I'm saying and then when you go home you you fuck your wife and you picture them absolutely that seems to be the pattern but anyways hot Tuesday out there unbelievable we saw this might have been two weeks ago who knows but you know when a when a lovely lady uh walks down the stairs and you know New York they get all dolled up the heels the tight jeans the whatever necklace the hairs did and they come down and you take note you try not to ogle and you take note then one gal came down and we and she

was like hey uh big fan you go I don't believe you but all right thank you and then she goes Tuesday and I was like get the fuck wait a minute I just realized they might hear this well they're gonna hear it oh and it didn't hit me till now but I didn't say their names or what they look like okay okay but it's a little uh intrusive I thought we were talking about a couple of clams over here then I realized they're going to be listening to this and maybe flicking the bean well maybe but I mean we're not giving any identity whatsoever there's hundreds of female gays only six of them are attractive but still yeah I'd say five but you remember you said you had that one smoke show lady steamboat and and I saw her she looked like uh Neil deGrasse Tyson so that was

a letdown but these gal that other gal the one you the one I just talked about you were like there's a gay in there she's smoking and we we bonded on uh the same gal yeah and she was like a new generation of oh she was like 20 21 22 I think dane cook married her yeah what that is insane yeah that was a bad post when he's when she is I did the math last night I mean hey to each his own I mean I'm a huge dane cook fan a nice guy great guy but just in general the age difference when that his wife to be is my wife's age he'll be 71 wow isn't it crazy to think about Sarah coming home from her spots and I'm like oh oh yeah that's wild you see 71 71 Carlin died at 72 it's wild I mean he's gonna be on borrowed time when she's in her mid 40s

well maybe she's aware of that as well yeah yeah she'll have a nice paycheck what is this uh vicious circle over here that's not too bad but that's in in the in ideal but people living longer he's got money he could buy he might be 90 in her mind she's like oh he'll die I'll get the money and they probably love each other I don't like poo poo but wait really she's gonna be cleaning out assholes for 20 years yeah in her prime hope it's better than yours but yeah she's uh it's an odd thing but now let me ask you this there gang if it was reversed if this was Kathleen Madigan dating a 23 year old and getting married would there be as much buzz hmm it wouldn't be about it would be like good for you it'd be like you go girl it'd be a lot of you go girl

you know I thought it was all about equal and we're the same yeah maybe not Susan Saran and Tim Robbins I think that's like 14 years that's nothing that's something all right I guess it's not much 14th's a chunk all right it's not 23 but 66 percent is crazy 66 percent well I think 20 through two years how old much 27 year difference well I did my math wrong just calculus kicking in blacking out slowly Tuesdays with stories is also brought to you by express vpn using the internet without express vpn is like having a first aid kit but not keeping it stocked up here here you gotta have band-aids most of the time you'll probably be fine but what if you suddenly get into a horrible accident and then there's nothing in your first aid kit to stop the bleeding

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slash tuesdays that's e x p r e s s v p n dot com slash tuesdays to get an extra three months for free express vpn dot com slash tuesdays now back to the laughs yeah well speaking of calculus uh-huh wait where yeah look at this oh yeah i got stories yeah yeah you got stories i got stories i mean costa rica was it was eventful but it was nothing catastrophe catastrophized catastrophe nothing happened that was like holy shit i gotta talk about this but it was fucking great everything was perfect we went snorkeling we went on a boat to another island then you sit on the island all day you drink and these hispanic guys blow you and stuff and then uh you know we went on a hike we saw peacocks i saw a deer

he touched my leg and uh just a great time we had the best house and the whole thing was paid for with comedy wow that's fun some chuch out there this guy keith nice guy he goes he's a rich guy he goes hey i'm a fan and this is why i got this guy eric man this guy hit me up months ago or maybe years ago and he said uh hey i like your stuff i think you could be doing more and i go eh whatever come on over and we shot a bunch of shit and it did well and then we just stayed in touch now we have a patreon together that's why you gotta stay open minded because it's complex we're very quick to go who's this weirdo fuck you we poo poo i poo poo i'm closed i poo poo poo i don't wipe properly and they're gonna rush yeah so i try to stay open look sometimes

it's fucked me sometimes i'm in a car with a guy i'm like get the fuck out of here this guy's uh you know trying to suck my ass and whatever that happens but this guy put this whole trip together he goes don't worry about it i got it he planned it he bought the flights he bought the hotel he got everything done show we get to there we get to san josei not a great town but there's this one like Costa Rica yeah that's where the airport is there's one rich area we did the show there this place called the tap house and it's sold out there's not a lot of comedy going on we had three local guys open they were funny they were cool they're doing a language barrier what do you call that second language second language and uh they went up and the crowd was loving it it was it was fun

because it was international so they applaud oh they're going whoa i have a i open with a dick joke and it's kind of clever and they were like wow and it was fascinating i'm like that's a dick joke like that's just my opener i get on you know get out of the way to get a laugh and they clap the lady did a set she had a good set and they're just like wow and it felt good to be appreciated and half these people didn't know who i was and the mic cut out it was outdoors but it just worked and how many people we talking 60 a hundred a thousand ah it's sold out i think it was like 80 or so but it was spread out a big bar with open everything's open there because the weather's so good right so uh we sat on a on a placard what do you call that a riser mm stage there you go

and did a set and i it was hard you know because there's this stuff where you're like oh they didn't get that that went over their head they don't have uber eats they don't have this what the hell was that i'm an idiot and you realize how american you are right i got you know uh fox news jokes and whatever and they're like i don't know so i get off stage and then my friend goes eric goes what are you doing you got to get back on and i go i did 50 minutes and he goes they want a q and a i go oh my god so you know when you get that over with your i'm in the kitchen sweating going all right it's done right but then you got to go back up and you're like this is the hardest thing i've ever done so you go back on and you go you guys have any suggestions and then people are like uh whatever

plantains and you're like i don't know anything i don't care about plantains but you say something like is that a plantain in my pocket or are you happy to save me whatever the fuck you know you just try to push through and we had a great time and the guy couldn't have been happier nothing better and we did the show the first night got it over with and then we got the cash and just drove to the jungle now let me ask you this because i know sarah went years ago took surf lessons the whole thing wow there's one coast that's bad and one coast that's good like north korea south korea there's like the pacific coast and then there's like uh is that still the gulf of mexico down there what does that become it's centro america so it is

that's just the atlantic right there i don't know is it atlantic pacific it's gonna be below the gulf it's below the gulf so is there a name or is it just the atlantic i believe it's atlantic is the atlantic and pacific side or is there because it's it's still in a gulfy area because it's it's it's like west of gulf club north of south america yeah it is because it's it's in the down the middle so it's like below texas or no bay is more below georgia so that would be the atlantic no it's way west of that because brazil is like out out by i guess it is like georgia it's the caribbean the caribbean so yeah pirates i knew there was some kind of body of water there so it's caribbean the caribbean side is bad and the pacific side is good i think i believe

well i don't know where we were but we had a great time we went to this resort called los weños and i got to tell you i feel it kind of like a cunt at this resort because it's nice there's pools but the view was so good we right when we got there we put our bags down two macaw macaws uh red they're endangered they're flying together going on i go that's a good sign and they're bright red it looks like something out of a pixar movie and they land they land on a tree and they just start fucking each other we learned that they've made for life you know hopefully one dies yada yada and uh just a great time sex food you know we cooked every night you know you go to the grocery we we got all because it's a couple of us so we're all cooking with the wine and the

music and the cigars and the weed and the booze and i just sat there with a beer and i go this is a man and that weather that weather just kisses your yes you know salt yes the sea your hair's all goo gooey and goopy and chalky and hay like and you got that sun all day and you just got the ceiling fan going the cigar in your hand cocktail and the other lady on your lap it's perfect that's great you'll be falling in love to the rhythm of the ceiling fan oh we never turned the tv on that's fun we had a big cliff overlooking a mountain with the macaos and the trees and the sunset and we just stared at that that was the big screen boy that's beautiful that's nice how many days four or five days let's see we did two at san jose we went downtown it was

ugly we went to what they call a soda which is like their diner and you go to a soda the food was incredible chicken soup all this shit rice and beans very good and everything's cheap everything costs like you know a dollar is like six thousand colin colognes oh they got their own cash down there yeah so but they love that americano so i was dropping threes and fours out like uh like liberace right and you know you're like six thousand colognes here you go there's a ten that'll cover everything they're like jesus christ who's this guy uh sanatra so good times that's a great feeling and and just back today or yesterday got back yesterday at midnight and just you know it's like a 15 hour travel day that customs is like cunt in the dick well i got a custom story coming at

you oh okay customer service and uh so that's it that's last because last time i saw you were going like the next day yeah yeah i saw you last week i mean we did a lot we saw a lot but uh it was all just great and i'll put some photos up and i didn't barely even took any photos because i was just living you gotta live yes that's a great feeling great great trip and it makes me want to go i'm not not to coast to rica necessarily but just go off but i've been doing too much going off i montana and main but this is international gerry i mean it it just feels different you know i know you got your canada here with trudeau and the blackface but i mean sometimes you gotta just we sat in an infinity pool and just watched the the lightning in the distance you know oh it's

the best i mean ecuador peru two best trips of my whole life and it makes you realize the little things are all the not the little things but the basics we got tits you know each got a lady we got weather we got booze we got food we got music that's all we need and a couch it's pretty nice and i always says about international travel it makes you realize all the things you hate about america and it also makes you realize all the things you love about america very true because at some point you're like i cannot wait to take a shit yeah toilet that goes right and i can't wait to have less mosquitoes up my ass i can't wait to get my starbucks and you know and fuck with ronan listening you know what i mean totally totally yeah but then you also go this is so nice

there's no regulations here i'm drinking and driving i'm swerving like no one cares you can just do whatever you want i'm pissing in bushes it's uh it's a little more lax well you're gonna love manhattan because no rules here either but uh i digress oh yeah so if i took a ton of notes but it's i knocked it all out in eight seconds so yeah i hear you it's hard when you're in those i mean i went to maine it's the same thing you're like i went to maine it was great we hiked my family's cuckoo and uh that's it yeah i swam in the ocean and uh did some hiking and it was delightful delightful yeah it's it's it was just zen i was zenned out for five days and it was magical and i feel recharged and refreshed and it takes some of your bitterness away too you know you're like

this guy and fuck them and fuck her and fuck me and my dad's weird you just forget about all that of course when the plane lands like i'm like i hate that guy i know i know it's hard it's hard not to go back to what we have a human beings have a negativity bias it's hard it's it's you have to actually practice yes uh gratitude and all that shit len bias len bias len bias yeah len who he was drafted by the boston celtics he was hot shit he was the guy he played at maryland and could really like reverse jam he was gonna be the future and him and bird were gonna play together and then bird was gonna pass it off to bias and uh overdosed on cocaine overdose is that right like the night night of the draft for the next night cocaine it's a drug brutal and they had

reggie louis who was gonna be the next guy then he died fucking he fell with a collapse in the court heart problem whoa yeah it was tough business this is uh uh what do you call the uh curse curse yeah it's a little cursey but then they got pierce and uh all right they won one later curse all right well how many what time we got here lay it on me there slobby jalopy 41 41 i thought it'd be like 58 we got lots of time yeah go go go nuts well i got some stuff here i think you're gonna be proud of this i think some people put that oh this was interesting sociological thing here i'm gonna talk about race let me just warn everybody all right all right i like race race car a little racial stuff here okay nothing crazy nothing crazy but uh i flew to

toronto uh go to toronto and i'm on the flight and there was some kind of uh i don't know what was going on there there was a there was a lady who i met who's a sports journalist and uh because a bunch of people were on the flight that had seen the movie which was very exciting it was very sweet that's fun and so uh this lady's like afterwards like i gotta ask who are you what's this movie so that was exciting and then i i googled her because she gave me her full name so it's like she must be and she had a w mba sticker so it was like something's up here i know boy so i researched her and she had uh she was a journalist but anyways good guy bad guy who her seems good i mean i didn't do too much deep digging she's like a sports journalist here in new york um

but anyways that's nothing to do with anything so it's a canadian flight in canada they're all wacky there you're still gonna wear masks on the plane it's kind of flight you have to show up and wear a mask please by law over there oh yeah and you gotta get this app that no one's ever checked like you gotta fill out an app but no one's looked hate the app so this is where i get interesting the flight attendant is an african-american lady my my my teammate here he's african-american teammate oh they're my partner on the plane the next guy next to me okay you know you feel like buddy he's on the plane sure sure so my buddy cop my mate he's a he's a he's a black fella and then across here there's a black guy okay up here there's an old i'm gonna say russia eastern european

fella all right and he's got a mask got the hand out masks as we're getting ready to land which is very silly because we're not wearing a mask the entire flight but we're about to land in canada and canada requires it got it so it doesn't really make sense like you need to have your mask on on this plane that you haven't had a mask on for the first 85 minutes but now we're going into canadian airspace i guess yeah i guess so i don't understand you're going into an airport yes okay but they're not saying you need your mask on in the airport they're saying you need it on now oh so you can take it off in the port no port you need it too i see but they're telling us we need it now so i you know i'm like hey i don't want i don't want to ruffle i don't want to rebel rouser

play ball hey you tell me that's what i need that's what i need i put the mask on this gentleman no mask this gentleman no mask the guy up here has his mask down here the flight attendant walks up to him and goes sir aha does this and he's like he does it to here and she goes all the way gotta go up he puts it all the way up this is putin yes he's russian she walks by direct icon i got mine on because i'm like hey i don't want to be spoken to sure direct eye contact no mask no mask no words now is the lady what's going on there is she afro-american yes oh a little uh lend bias going on here a little uh you know what i mean what's good i don't know i don't know if she didn't want to get into it maybe she knew them maybe she's afraid of them i don't know what

was going on here fascinating but she told him to put the mask on he put it on halfway and she said that it's gotta be all the way maybe she hates russians who doesn't yeah you know it is you know stan with ukraine but uh that was interesting that's very fascinating and a fun thing because when the covid was really cooking when it was new and scary and weird there was a mean old bag who would walk around our neighborhood with a dog and she'd go pull your bag put you know we're outside she's like put your mask on she yelled at me like four times and i watched her walk past like a hip black kid probably like 18 years old and he was b bopping and scatting and she went walk right by i mean that was that interesting well it was very interesting i'll also say this this guy next to me

who was not we actually chatted a couple times because i had the um the outlet wasn't working he's like is that not working and i'm like i think it's not working but you try yours because uh maybe my thing sucks and he tried it and i was like i gotta tell you i feel bad saying this but i'm happy yours isn't working and he said uh-huh so we had a couple nice chats as you said you need an outlet so yeah exactly so another thing was when we took off tre was down whoa this is a little special treat nobody said anything the train you know if we crash that tre is gonna uh really stop us from yeah getting off the plane but that might have been his name too tre so um interesting just an interesting observation but anyways that's neither here nor there

i'm folk i'm i'm gripped by this but it makes you wonder if there was a white lady would she have said anything or would that have been too guilty too scary but if it's a black lady now it's like some camaraderie uh black power shit i don't know my suspicion is their race doesn't matter so much as this guy i think this guy the eastern european guy might have been an asshead earlier in the flight uh he might have been like where is my coffee get me my coffee and then so when it came time she was like i put your mask on you piece of shit well also funny that it just comes down to ego and whatever it's not actually about a virus when you you go i don't like that guy put it yes it's just a punishment right so i think it has more to do with him but

it was definitely one of those things we were like hmm i made me wish i hadn't put my yes because now you're next to what have i have gotten it and then when i'm like this uh huh what about this fella yeah so i should have kept it down just for the sociological experiment now do they go under the chin are zero they went zero wow no mask at all they were just like i'm not doing that i think technically that's a fireable offense on her part maybe because she didn't police it and this you know treatment differently towards russian and black i'm not sure possibly but uh anyways that was interesting so then i go out to toronto i'm doing rob may you i should have taken up so much i'll blast through this little robbie rob may you great guy they were all very excited about

the shout outs by the way when i was in toronto all right so we get there and now last time i had a thing with the hotel and i'm a little self-conscious about it because i got to the hotel you remember it wasn't so great so i went to the fancy hotel and then he was like what was wrong with the hotel and i was like it was fine i'm just a cunt it's on me i don't know it's fine but all right we'll keep moving so this time i'm flying and i decided i'm gonna go a day early because i've never been to the rogers center the baseball park yes and i've been to every ballpark except seven so i've been to like 24 ballpark some of them are gone now so i'm trying to their verizon basically their uh oh the phone thing yeah oh that's what rogers is i didn't know that okay formally the

sky dome which is a big deal when it opened 89 first retractable roof wrestlemania six right you are younger than i thought but that was big oh yeah a whole kogan ultimate warrior i was eight it was like right it's my eighth birthday it was so thrilling that's big but any jizz so i've never been to the ballpark so i'm gonna fly a day early but i don't want to bother rob but you know so i'm just going i'm gonna get my own hotel fly out a day early nobody needs to know because i don't want them to worry about picking me up and all this shit and so i get a hotel hilton okay nice nice hotel nothing crazy fly out and it was a nice little pilgrimage i'm going by myself i don't want to meet up with anybody i'm not bringing an opener

i'm just gonna go watch the ball game love it so i go there find my hotel my hotel is nice beautiful hotel high rise nice view and i go you know maybe i'll email him and say just give me a buyout i don't need the hotel i'll just stay here but i go i'll do that tomorrow tomorrow i'll do that i walk down to the ballpark get myself a ticket go to the ball game very exciting the jays the blue jays blue jays tigers i'm watching the game i get the expensive seats because you know me i'm a cunt i want to get the good field box but it's crowded down there and i had a couple frenchmen next to me that don't know the game but they were just screaming oh these guys that scream when like a play is not even close and he goes that he was out and you're like why are you yelling

he was clearly say whatever he saw a guy do that in a movie in 84 and exactly replicating so i go you know i'm gonna go up to the top seats because this is a huge stadium i go up to the 500 section just random way out in the outfield way the fuck up there sure nosebleed i sit and i'm sitting next to there's a hotel out there famously at the roger center skydome and people have been caught fucking in the hotel from the seats yes and master that tv came you can go to youtube and find it there's some fun videos people jerking off fucking i love it that's lunch so i'm out by the hotel i'm in the 500 section and i sit down there's no one near me i see two guys over there and then i just see this doing that and i'm like this is weird am i all right and a couple innings pass i'm singing take

me out to the ballgame and i don't care if i'm with somebody or nobody i'm singing take me out to the ballgame god damn it those pipes go so i'm over there take me out of the ballgame and i say root root root for the red saw these guys a little rivalry and the guy comes over and i think he's gonna confront me and he goes joe list wow and i go i'm joe list and what about it here's an autograph you piece of shit leave me alone but there's no one anywhere these guys must the shit wow they're sitting up in the section there's nobody in the section and out of nowhere the joe list sits right what are the odds what are the odds so i said hey get out of here you scumbag i refuse to take a photo with them fuck him really yeah well he's poor he should be down in the field box gross no

i'm kidding of course i took up this by the way there's seven people go into the comment section i know this is a piece of shit i blew the guy i bought him a hot dog i fucked his dad it was very sweet nice time and he said i'm gonna buy a ticket to the show right now no one ever knows you're in town what is that i have the same thing portarico i'm the only comedy show i'm a portarico i've been the only comedy show in south america or central america and i saw a guy on the plane he goes bark norman i go yeah he goes what are you doing in co3 i go i'm doing a comedy show he goes i'll be there and that was it yes you got that's how you have to promote you got to just bump into people i'm parking on the plane all right i gotta pick up the pace pick it up i see the guy

i go to the game it's a great night i feel like a child the next day i go back to my hotel i wake up in the morning and i go i don't want to switch hotels it's a long walk the thing's way that it's a 20 minute walk to my other hotel and i think i'll hit up rob tell him i don't need your hotel but i said i thought you know what i had the weird thing last time i don't want to be weird you're the hotel guy but in my mind i'm saving him i'm like i'll just stay at this hotel who wants to change hotels is he gonna pay because that's gonna be a hefty sum if you got a couple days in a hilt well i don't know it's two days in the hill i figured the buyout he doesn't have to pay for the hotel he got me he could just give me the money okay well that's if he can get out of

the reservation and get the refund well that's the thought i had so i go what am i doing what am i doing i pack up and i go i'm gonna walk to the other hotel oh god i'm walking i'm walking i'm walking and then all of a sudden i'm like where the fuck is this place where did he put me i'm in the hotel in the stadium what the classic hotel where people fucking the thing i'm in the ballpark wow and i'm like i should have been here last night because i was at the game anyways you got that right so it's like nine in the morning because i was already in town so i go there and i go hey i'm checking in i assume there's no room she goes there's no room ready but we'll pre-check you right now come back in four hours i say great there's a starbucks in the lobby i get a tea i'm just

sitting outside beautiful day it's right next to the cn tower cunt whatever oh i see so i go hey that's gonna be great i'm walking around i have a nice day record shopping i go to a bookstore i walk around i go to the tower i go to the water beautiful day now it's about 130 let me go check in i go to check in they go okay you checked in let me get your room and you gotta sign this waiver and i go waiver and they go well you have a field facing hotel room he got me the best hotel room on the planet oh my lord because the last thing he's like you're a cunt you change hotels how about this you piece of shit what a man it's like four grand tonight i don't know how he afforded it he must be in the black over there or the red which one's good the red is bad red is bad he's in

the red russian and i gotta you gotta sign a piece of everything like technically this is public we could throw you out don't fucking there no anal wow you gotta sign away a thing how about that and now i'm shaking like a boy i'm a baseball queef i'm gonna be kidding me so i got the paper and i got my suit i'm like walking fast you know when you're excited of course i walk back i'm like hitting the button i'm like get out of my way i threw an old lady down the stairs because i'm like i got a room move at your bag i go in you check in and i can't even describe this place you open your hotel room door and you see the stadium wow you gotta see this thing it's no i got photos at my house i'll put it on the page here i got a youtube video i did play by play from the outfield i walk

in they're like taking bp and you open your window you can yell down what i'm like hey try up here and they're like they're doing this and shit it's crazy you watch the game in the blue gaze the best hotel of all time wow baseball stuff i was beaten off watching liar liar i'm like beating off watching batting practice it's crazy now i don't want to do the shows i want i want to suck may you off of corg well done may you may you know so it's it's unbelievable unbelievable i mean i'm surprised you made the shows just looking at that diamond all day i didn't want to leave i watched bp so then i post the photo and i happened to know the guy that used to do play by play mike wilner he did my podcast now he's a beat writer oh wow all right beat it such a fun gig so i text him i go

look at the look at the hotel i'm in the classic hotel he goes i'll tell you what i can get you past to batting practice and i go are you kidding me come on he goes go down there right now your name's down there i'll come meet you he comes and meet me i'm on the field for batting practice so they know about the montana game i'm telling them about the montana i'm like let me shag fly balls he's like you can't do that here this is the big leagues piece of shit you're never gonna make it make sense and so i sit there i meet uh matt Chapman who's my favorite player you're gonna see a sexy man that a bit chappy nice ass and then tay oscar hinanda's such a fun name tay oscar tay oscar and then i met louise revero who i watched as a kid he played the red socks he's

being nervous with big glasses now he's ripped chatted with him for a little bit okay okay very exciting i go back up i get room service i watched the first two innings of the game i'm my room service wow best gig ever i didn't want to leave i had to go to the stupid show of course paradise theater both shows were great very fun a lot of funny comics on there hell yeah and uh that was great then he asked me to do this midnight show called uh casting couch very similar to uh kill tony uh oh where you three guys to stand there you watch the comics do their sets yeah yeah but it was late so the show is at midnight starts 20 minutes late we end at like 1 30 i get to my room at 2 a.m my flight's at 7 international so i'm gonna leave at 4 30 yeah

and you're not gonna fall asleep plus they're cleaning the stadium so i'm just watching that your window is into the stadium i can't believe you got anything done so i slept for 90 minutes then i gotta go that 90 is brutal wait wait wait that was your night sleep yes oh my lord because you finally fall asleep at 3 you gotta leave at 4 30 oh you got home that late so it's that yes well i got home at 2 it's a midnight but you're up you're jerking off you're you're smelling your father's ass sure so then there's that alarm that when the alarm goes off you're like this yeah you know what i mean i know it you don't know where you are you don't know who you are you don't know what you're it's brutal so i go to the airport it's now i got there the flight's

at 7 a.m i get there at 4 55 and it's one of these things it's just mayhem yeah rob may you have sure and it's because it's toronto whatever the fuck the strike so the economy biden i don't know what the fuck's going on it's international too that means customs that means passports that means mask wild wild shit so i finally get in line at security then listen to this tell me what you feel about this we're aging whatever i hear an old lady behind me talking to two young whippersnappers the old lady says where are you guys from they said oh we're from but we're heading to boston we're from boston she goes there was an old tv show about a bar in bot do you remember it it was a bar in boston they go like this ah not ringing a bell and i'm like that i was like frank drebbin at

the beginning of naked gun where i'm like i'm just like fuming like roger rabbit with a shave and a haircut yes please i'm like what and she goes was it it was called uh it was something and she goes danie de vito was in it uh close the wife and then the young guy goes oh i know is it dark comedy and she goes no black she goes yeah and he goes i think it's called always sunny in philadelphia oh i'm i'm hurting here my body is is pain and the old lady goes no that's it's boston yes and then the girlfriend's like yeah it's boston what are you talking about what are you doing you're not gonna i'm still sitting there because if i chime now i'm involved you're full Muhammad Ali so i'm crunching my teeth going you dumb bitch it's like the best show ever you fucking whore and finally she

goes he goes now the lady says to the guy she goes that was stupid she says that to him she says that was stupid to a guy and he goes i guess that was stupid like he's ashamed this is like he's accused so then she goes ah it was the sat danie de vito and then they start googling because the lady won't give it up right so she goes i just hear this taxi uh and you're on a half an hour asleep you must be flipping because they're googling danie de vito sitcom comedy and like it's called taxi she's like no no it's not taxi and finally i just have to turn i was fuming i went cheers yes it's called cheers you fucking dipshits yes and she goes yes that's it who was the woman i said rea pearl man she goes well who was in it i said ted dancin george woody harrelson kurtie

kirstie ali shelly long woody harrelson the guy the guy from raging bull the mailman what are you doing yeah i'm like what the fuck rats and moir is that his name john rats i thought you had a stroke i didn't know what that was i think it's called rats and burger rats and burger yeah i think that's something rats in the belfry something like that so i think i said it's cheers and she goes well what oh what do you know i go i'm from boston myself and she goes well is there a real bar and i said yes it's called the bowling finch it's on boilston street and parks park street charles street whatever the fuck it is whatever street that is it's not boilston i think it's calm have park street whatever the fuck been there it's about the size of a my dad's dick it's tiny in there

yes i said go there you fuck it's called cheers it's a great show you should watch it you're fucking idiots so then i start talking there and then they all start talking about boston so now we're all a group the old lady and the two youngsters i hate a group we go through security and then security after security you gotta do the thing where you take a photo yep at the thing it's like an automated thing but then you gotta wait in line so you get a little receipt you wait in line it's this long ass line like a bank line just goes for an hour and what you know we think when you keep crisscrossing your neighbor because you're in the line thing so i see i get ahead of the old lady and the youngsters i move quick thank god and the old lady goes how'd you get so far ahead of me

i said i said well i'm swift i move quickly and she goes huh and i go all right so now the line is epic it ends up being long story short it goes 55 minutes is how long Jesus and you know how at the beginning you have a mental thing you go all right just be paid there's no way i'm missing my flight i got an hour to get through this sure i'm reading wikipedia i'm listening to a podcast then around 47 minutes you're like you just hit you run out of bandwidth you're like i'm gonna fucking kill somebody what the fuck and there's like three babies crying in a way that i'm like are you lighting their fucking baby pussies on fire plus the sleep black 90 minutes sleep it's like it's like ellis island in here it's exactly like ellis island then you get this

thing doc ellis and then you get three hot white blonde women always walk up to the front and go we're gonna miss our flights and the lady was a black cop canadian cop goes well you might miss your flight she goes you're not cutting the line wow i was like yes yes she starts yelling the cops are yelling do not get out of line everyone's going through this line i was like yes why do you think you get to go privilege we're all missing our flight of course nobody's here nobody's like my flight's at 4 p.m. i just decided to come you get why these uh the black people love these videos of white people failing because it's they've seen this for years it's just get out it get to the back of the line so then i'm i'm going i keep crisscrossing past the two boston

young couple and oh yep did you go cheers i said i should have so then i i noticed i'm not seeing the old lady anymore she died i look over here she's next in line how the fuck did that old coos get higher than you she was playing us this bitch i knew i didn't trust her what i turned i see the boston couple i go hey look who's up there and they go i know and i go what the fuck they're like how did she do that somehow she old lady she went have you ever seen cheers and just snuck her way up this diabolical this cunt wow wait a man i don't get it she got a wheelchair or something i don't know what she did i don't know how she did it i think she's snuck underneath but she's old and sweet she's endearing yes the word is original she was flying to belize through

dalis oh i got a whole story okay yeah well i'm i'm displeased anyways uh so i got through finally it just took forever and it was one of those ones you have to go straight to the gate and uh jump on and whatever why uh why so early i mean it's like a 10 second flight why did i get there so why did you leave toronto at 7 30 the morning well i gotta go at two the next flight was like tab but you just want to get back sometime i want to have your day it was a saturday and uh i didn't know i was doing the late show for raw so i was like i figured i'll be back at the hotel at midnight but whatever it was it was great great fun so the whole day i'm on 90 minutes sleep but uh whatever it was fine and uh great shows i really like rob he's got funny stuff too

yeah rob's a good egg i like him too uh my agent hates him but great guy yeah what can you do yeah uh i guess we gotta wrap up your your story made me think of it jogged me with all these uh Costa rican tales but uh we got other days we got other how we do on here 104 oh Jesus i went too long i'm long that was a very long story cheers beers and cheers and queers where are you gonna be okay this weekend nashville and i'm taking the t-shirt i got the t-shirts my first week with t-shirts they look pretty cool i think you're gonna like them he designed are you designed he designed i came up with a thing he designed so nashville my first weekend with these shirts we'll see he's like why don't we try eight to begin with you piece of shit it was one of those things he's

like it's not gonna go well fuck you i'll send you six but uh we'll see so come to nashville buy a shirt first time ironically you're gonna lose your shirt i'm shipping i think i might but um nashville zany's this weekend then uh tampa that's sold out you can't come to that nice be in austin for one night i don't know if i'm doing a show but i'll be there be living in tampa and uh then liberty funny bone uh so weekend after that and then the movie is on sale right now go buy it we got a full audio commentary that was really fun the deleted scenes you go see louis's scene and some other shit and the commentary was fun and funny i got about six words in and um the movie's out what's the price on the on the web i think 15 bucks i think which is less than an itunes

ah less than a movie theater too so go buy it if you've seen it and and and spread the word i don't like the algorithm tell everyone about tuesday's with stories tell them about the movie we got the best goddamn pod going hell yeah call a friend email a friend say these guys are hilarious they're wacky please yeah we're all jokes come town is out we're in yes so get out before them you got that right and we said come more we're the gist guys yes and all that jizz to follow so uh i'll be all over the place uh san antonio this weekend west palm beach richman funny bone uh new haven toronto san jose braia a lot of fun gigs coming up uh come on out say hello quiff it up i got shirts too same guy patreon get on that patreon a lot of good stuff we got a live

up a you know a couple days away tonight tonight tonight royers for pennsylvania soljols yes tonight so hopefully some fun guests and uh maybe chevon obama again that's what he does and uh yeah praise our lot thanks and keep on quiffus and leave chuck along you fucks yeah he's a nice guy