Tuesdays with Stories! - #465 Scissor Reel

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

The boys are dealing with some troubles this week, folks. Mark has a plane neighbor who won't clap the trap, and Joe's plane neighbor has a mean streak. Mark gets a strong talking to about his language at a show, and then gets a mean-spirited haircut! They can't win! Sponsors: - Support the show and get 20% off with the code TUESGAYS at https://www.SheathUnderwear.com - Support the show: http://www.go.factor75.com/TUESDAYS130 & use code TUESDAYS130 for $130 off - Support the show by going to www.buyraycon.com/tuesdays Our Stuff: - Subscribe to our Patreon for the ad-free version of the show, weekly bonus episodes, and more! patreon.com/tuesdays - Subscribe to our YouTube channel here for full video of every episode: https://youtube.com/c/TuesdayswithSto... SUBSCRIBE: https://bit.ly/2ABEe1w

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy welcome to the jungle we are fun and gay here we come in your ass don't tell me we are fun and gay hey couldn't go wrong there how upset would maybe if she found out you blew me or I blew you I think about that

all the time because just blowing you not the other part but I think about what would be worse if she found out that I was banging Anna Kornakova or if I was banging Clooney I think Clooney because it's just a different thing obviously you fucked women you you want to fuck women we all fuck women you come in their pussies sure that's what you want I think women are aware that when we're fucking them we're thinking about you know sure Betty whatever yeah but I think the thing about fucking a dude is it's like oh everything's different than I thought yeah yeah there's lies you know sure from New Orleans but I there's no

no Dallas I think you're right that's true and my wife is you know I can't say too much but she's a little old school she's like that'd be a Paul I'd be a deal breaker my gal's the same way deal break if I found out you blew a guy in seventh grade you were forced to blow him should leave me in the dumps I like that old-school vibe you know my gal you know you hear about these guys like I try I blew a guy in college like see if I liked it and my lady was like if you do that that's over yeah exactly my wife's like yeah she thinks those guys should be beaten and throw yeah whatever I just think that obviously I feel like you

know I gotta evidently you're not you can't hear the construction at home but if we if we don't address it and they do hear it right you can't win with these queeps now you can't win everybody's upset but I mean that was it's wild in here oh yeah I don't know what what are they building the Titanic out here it's like non-stop buzzing and song and but then you don't see anything well it's like the overlook hotel I don't understand is there a room back here that's what I'm saying like there's a isn't this with a cafeteria thing is I can't do the man oh no that's up there but you walk up there and over but then back around the

corner true what are you then that's how fudge is made but I think that's up over and then stops maybe a little up there might be a shaft I love a shaft shut your mouth that was big bitch all right I don't know if they didn't start construction vibrations I got nothing for stories but I might have one little thing I don't know I got a couple of honkers but they're they're quick and interesting but I don't know if they're we gotta we gotta maybe debate them just to get a little little convo going because they're fun I like debate well it's gonna be a weird episode

here we're hunky dory we're funky isn't it funny how life is though life gives you lemons and you stick them in your pussy yes our bus right I mean you're on fire you're saving the day so close clip it right now well I'm like I don't have much you like I got a couple quickies but next time we record it's gonna be post-batch I mean I'm going I'm going to take a trip right now this weekend I go to Nashville two nights in Nashville by the way they keep tweeting we're excited to have back Joe list I'm like I've never been to this club in my life have fun so I don't know what what's that all about but that's a good

sign that means you're out in the zeitgeist they assume they've seen you yeah they have booked me but they haven't but I'll be there Nashville and then I'm going straight from Nashville to Tampa oh wow sorry like a knife up my ass Tampa side split it's three shows a three six and a ten I don't even what how does it work I don't know I don't know who the hell no I think it's a three a five and an eight why are they those times yeah that's a little early late maybe cuz everyone's gonna be retired it's a Tuesday or whatever it's a Sunday yeah the Lord's Day that still means something in Florida so plus we want to

get out early several night left I want to hit the town and go full jackal foaming at the mouth I'll be on angel dust by then I mean you better watch out baby you see those queens looking at you they look scared plus the fan and the fans and the stuff I mean this is gonna be wild and we got we can give away special guests now because they're hearing it post show yeah good point we got Christchers gonna be there I mean Ari Ari's not gonna survive first of all no no no he's gonna be gonna be six million and one Jews dead but he's you know he tried to keep up with Gillis with a couple Bud lights I think he had eight and he had to

get hospice in there so he's fucked yeah forget about it I'm not gonna survive this either I'm gonna be you know outright fences when you guys are whatever plus we got the double dong show Monday morning first thing huh well this seems like something oh you scared me I thought we had morning radio I panicked what are we doing radio for us a vacation double dong is a great radio that's like Jim and Bob dong right double dong show dong brothers so ding dong the witch is dead but bro's egg thank God I hated that good but so we got Tampa sign splitters Sunday then batch the party two days big house on a hill oh

yeah water jet ski Christchers gonna be floating like a manatee with a beer on his gut and spitting water out I can't wait hey quite a motley crew we got photographers Jews alcoholics yeah one black a black one a packy is he Pakistan oh he's a big pack I was always afraid to ask fudge pack but yeah it's gonna be crazy umar and kusey and that goes and then I go straight from there to Austin wow doing the big pod with sweet Lou I think we're doing the creek that now I'm doing oh that's gonna sell out yeah hopefully I'm sure he'll pop in not gonna attack I think he might pop so check it out creek on August

17th I think that's tomorrow if you're listening to this bring a jujitsu cuz walking to that creek it's like a hobo zombie obstacle course I'm bringing my new balances last time that's where I was when I ran I haven't returned into the scene of the crime and then I go straight from there to Cincinnati going to the big tennis tournament plus Liberty funny bow which I heard is seven hours away from anything it's eight miles away and it's big it is big it's next to a Panera bread and a bar Louie and a Sephora and an AMC they're all the same exact place I know but at least the hotels of stones throw away it's like

across the street it's one of those little complexes they do it's kind of like a white flight thing where there's a little patch of grass in the middle and a kid does a cartwheel and there's a fountain and then roller skates yeah maybe a skate because a cornhole and a swing oh yeah it's all the same but I gotta say I was just in West Des Moines which is the same thing and I'm a basic bitch sure I mean I live in the city I love the city I'm an artist I live the artist life whatever blow me but I go to West Des Moines and it's Chick-fil-A Panera bread cheese factory Chipotle AMC theaters I'm fucking I'm blowing Steve

Rogers the whole time to unhinge my jaw cuz it's cock so big but yeah you could do worse you get like lock job but it is nice because we live in hawk as they say we live in squalor it's it's hobos it's riding the rails it's subways it's the Warriors knife fights black people Puerto Ricans Hasidic Jews it's a it's a who's who of characters out there and then you go over to the sweet cheesecake factory and mall life and it's kind of nice I feel like a million bucks and Steve Rogers and I will walk it all over the place was like 110 and I gotta take this I was talking about this on stage in Des Moines the Midwest

they're too nice aha you know the two nice oh yeah too nice crew but maybe it's a little passive-aggress well they do this thing where you're crossing this so we're on foot with the only ones on foot we look like everyone must assume we have DUI's because it's like a big sprawling mall horse yeah and so you come up and it's like a four-lane road and you stop cuz you're across the street I get to start you don't want to be around me takes forever and then the guy in his car he's taking a right and he sees us over there so he's like he's doing this yes no you go you go you're in a car right I'm on foot exactly I

have to cross four lanes of traffic on foot yes whoops you're in a car you do 30 miles an hour just pull away you're gone there's no one behind you right it doesn't make sense now I have to walk I have to like do this jog yeah yes exactly you just want the dopamine's think scientifically logic it doesn't make sense everyone and everyone does it go right no just zoom by I know and those fucking four ways out there you hit that dumb button which I assume does nothing and then you hit the button and you're like well and then eventually you never get the white guy so you just go fuck

it let's take it you try to map out where the arrow is and which is green and which is red you just go for it I know it was getting hit by a car but I wonder if the white guy will become offensive I thought about that too yeah or black why don't they make them gender-neutral well blacks hard to see let's see smiling oh cut that you know blacks you can't have black lights I mean you can have a black light but then you see the come everywhere yeah tell you don't want that blue yeah you know blue well blue lies matter that's no good true you see there's a there's a hole everywhere you turn orange is Trump that's no good

yellow maybe yellow and that's Asian that's Asian and he does look like a guy which is no good it's gonna have to be just a blob or a face like a like a smiley face what about pink because pink's not gender-neutral anymore or gender whatever it's breast cancer all right fuck what's the color these come guzzlers have painted ourselves into a corner of offensiveness maybe green light but green light means go well it should be green green go go that might confuse the drivers like oh that's right because that happens with the bike lane sometimes you see the green bike and you start to turn and the green

could be a little Irish action who knows oh look at the Irish green mile green emerald we got no color maybe purple purple I like purple walk person it could just be the purple eggplant one-eyed one horn flying purple people have you seen nope no I haven't oh I saw twice you like twice I had the same feelings as you where it's like I like so much of the visuals but I'm like it's kind of ambiguous like a little bit too much it's pretty good do you feel bad as a whitey no no that none of that I mean I guess I mean there's layers of that but no not at all and it's fun and I saw and I saw it was poor Steve Rogers

this guy he's one of these cute sweet men by the way little guy this guy keeps getting stronger very funny comic check him out he's got a special oh yeah you don't see someone for a while all of a sudden you're like dang that's new that's something love when they're working and they love them in Des Moines so he's got a huge piece huge dong the dong brothers yes that's you guys don boys I got a decent tongue that's what I've heard it's got some problems yeah I've heard that too very rash I got all kinds of asshole rashes these days you deal with this at all you gotta get the bidet you gotta get the wet wipe the itchy I

got an itchy butt the taint it's bumps it's brails well you know what you get that swamp ass is heat you little chafing going and then you're wiping all day you shit like a goose on Sunday and she's just wiping like crazy it just it's just a rug burn all day long I gotta tell you I've had two jogging shits where you hand your shit to your wife and you jog home have you wait wait wait what what is a marathon I'm confused we're walking home and I just get hit with it yeah so I got a hander my coffee you said I hander my shit I was like what are you shitting in a bag that's why I was confused oh I see no no I mean we

were walking home from I forget where we're running errands or stuff oh we went to the bank that's what it is the bank move whatever do whatever and we're sitting there and the ladies like and do you have an account with the and I'm like this lady you know when you can feel the shit touching your underwear it's it's rattling the cages yes yes and so I had to just hander my coffee and just go for it I was like take my wallet take my wife and take my sneakers I gotta run play no no bank shit now you want to home shit this is the kind of shit you want to be at home and the bank doesn't have a shitter they don't you can't make

a deposit hot coffee but I ran and then you ever have this kind of shit where it's every kind of shit you can have in one like I had the double tapered pipe oh yeah love a pipe like the big present like the bag of smarties it's all pipes that came out yeah then I had a couple of like like rabbit pellets the rabbits yeah yeah top of it it got funky it was like I switched gears and it was like a diarrhea thing and then it was just a loose pile this is a ton yeah I got photos I'll send you the photo I mean it was a real pile of shit yeah it's so funny I had this just through I had this

last week I was on a podcast on I was walking around my neighborhood doing a solo pod with like a lav mic and I got out of the apartment I went I got a shit kind of and I was like yeah whatever and then two blocks later it was like full blown emergency your whole attitude changes and you just go into survival mode you're like maybe I'll shit between these cars maybe I'll shit in this house maybe I'll shit in this dumpster I could pull it off I'll just pull my pants up real quick finish and run home and wipe my ass yeah this it's funny how much you care about your clothes because you're like I can't shit

in my pants I'll just shit on the sidewalk yes which is also insane right shit in your pants at least it's contained you can get home and clean I don't know I was in shorts and this would have been a leg runner yeah I mean this was bad but I think what it is for me and I mentioned this stuff before I've been starting every day with a big bowl of oatmeal okay and a big spinach smoothie spinach blueberry banana but then I eat shit like I'll go to the movies I'll eat M&Ms I'll go to get a double fudge brownie at Starbucks so I think it's the combo of really healthy with some unhealthy really makes it

everything move you got Israel and Palestine because you're that's why your shits are getting all diverse that's why the the cylindrical is the spinach and the oatmeal and then the rabbit pellet and the explosion and the Pollock painting and the flip water that's the brownie well at the bank she said I have to diversify my poop bullio I decided to mix it up in there and then TD bank turd drop don't Toronto what is that Toronto dildo what's the D Toronto was a Toronto it's a Canadian bank I don't like that think TD bank

north TD bank toilet destroyer might not be all right it might not be Toronto it's tea something that doesn't matter let's move it we don't want to have Chuck talk tea party oh do you find it what does that mean straight up they can't I can't talk without oh look at me and nod they still say come to this agreement you guys like Congress okay I'm just trying to control the damage I thought it was chucking the gaze we're like having a meeting yeah they get the climate change string me up um Toronto Dominion Bank all right I knew it was Toronto I didn't know I backpedaled so Dominion Republic but anyways we went and saw our nope

me and Steve Rogers his huge cock but he's like a he's like a child he's you know these people that can't watch horror movies yeah that's a little sad I mean like I don't like horror I get scared but I can do it it's a fucking film it's a picture show well I had to tell him like this old trick from when I was nine I was like just picture everything right off frame there's a guy that looks like Chuck with a boom mic right everything you're seeing there's like 50 people right out of the frame be it like smoking a butt and they're wearing new balance you know that's a great point yeah that's a guy with a

big bullhorn going good all right he has a bag M&Ms yes as soon as this is over this possession is over there like this was that good okay well I gotta take five yeah lunch go to lunch yeah that's it check the gate that's lunch so he was scared and I looked over a couple times and he's got like his bag of popcorn he's eating it like he's like watching the movie like you want to go ahead look at that huge hog ears all right be a man I know you got rated R in your pants and I try to tell him it's like an adventure movie but because it nope is like in the horror area the trailers forget about it

it was bad I mean if his wife started forget about it that's the end of that all right well Steve you know sack up a little bit you know it's funny cuz I'm browsing I don't know how you do stand up I don't know how you get up there meanwhile where you can't get on the subway Steve's under the seat I got a finger in my ass I took the subway here if the sun's out pre 5 p.m. I'll take it there you go suns out knives out that's the subways model or motto that was a fun movie oh yeah that was pretty good sequel coming they'll ruin it but I think I thought nope was pretty good pretty fun it's worth it's worth to see

all right all right see see minus a folks to such stories is brought to you by she if you know we love she I'm not even a look I bet I'm wearing them right now here we go all you hate to see those pubes look at that all you got the nice king tutt sheet over there king tutt Tuesday's with stories is brought to you by sheet underwear keep the heat off your balls with she we love them they feel good they look good they smell good I got my dick in one pouch my balls in the other it's genius marketing

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side of it a lot of space there so it's in Kentucky this weekend Lexington Kentucky exactly so this is one of these sleeper great clubs you've been in this room what's it called comedy off-Broadway oh I know about cuz Ron ounce from there so he knows everything Kentucky that's right Sam said he had a bumper form once he was like that was a mistake oh yeah murders he's yelling he's killing and Sam's like yeah what's up with Finland or whatever got it so Sam whatever but I don't know he might get mad about all that but who knows how we did an impression okay so he's the best we love

Sam we love Sam he's got a new special coming out on Netflix whoa was that not out you didn't know that I knew that okay I was selling it just checking now I'm nervous but I bring Marcus Monroe to feature oh I'm an M great kid funny guy good egg so he's a film or two that's a big that's a big move now these guys go hey you know you bring me and you go ah maybe I'll think about it I can film clip edit cut you go you're in that's a Steve brought a camera I didn't know I did I brought him cuz he's got a huge dick but sure got the camera all right I haven't seen the footage he's a regular Chuck but he already has the tripod so we we get

out there and it's you know it's eight flights to get in you got to leave it for in the morning cuz you want to make sure you get there if you miss your connection so it's a it's one of those things where I'm watching TV at midnight the night before and you got that looming yeah 10 o'clock flight all right look at my phone American flight canceled yeah what the Nazi dick just queef bitch Jew is this nope so then you gotta go all right well my flight is canceled I gotta get on it Delta 800 dollars we got a new flight great now it's early I get there and this is where I took your advice thank you the lounge

ooh love the lounge I love the I mean the loud it makes your life better it's a it's a game changer mm-hmm so I get to the lounge is breakfast is coffee this I made an auto Palmer I had like four chocolate chip cookies I'm high-fiving the black ladies I'm eating oatmeal it's great I have a what do you call that a Moscow mule for the hello it's like nine in the morning what's a Moscow mule that's it's in the copper cup and it's a it's vodka and pineapple juice give that a goon makes you seem and taste better yeah that's right you'll find out later so now it's all locking in I'm annoyed because of the flight cancel but I'm in

the Delta lounge I got upgraded mm-hmm nothing better than upgrade so I get in for a I sit down I'm in the window and there's an old Jewish guy like Superal looks like f. Murray Abraham like old yeah and I go sorry man the way it goes oh but he gets up I sit in and immediately goes in and he's like what do you do I like juice I know so I was like all right all right maybe I'll just chat a little you never know so we start chatting somehow I tell him I might be buying this house in Brooklyn he goes I'm a designer and I got he goes oh let me get my portfolio he gets back up he pulls out a big binder now I'm looking at

his portfolio not great not my cup and file so now I'm just like this is why people don't do this this is why this is ending like this is old-school guy he wants to have a chit chat he thinks that's what you do on flights you meet people your network and he just keeps going and I keep doing the thing where I put the headphone in I go oh what was that oh yeah yeah and he won't stop but eventually he's like you married I'm like I'm getting engaged or whatever and he's like oh yeah you got kids I'm like no kids I go you want kids he goes well I'm gay I'm like okay and he just starts unloading like I used to go to studio 54

I used to fuck everybody we used to go to the bathhouses New York sucks now they ruined it and I'm like we haven't even taken off I mean this is all in now I don't know what to do cuz I'm like I'm so tired I picked out it's 8 in the morning I just want a nap yes and he won't stop like even when it's over he'll be like so where do you live they should have a little one of the jeopardy thing a little window that comes up for final jeopardy oh you know the little panel yes this is your last chit chat yes get it in now so this daily double cunt it would not stop and eventually I go hey look buddy this is Alan talking I

go I usually sleep on airplanes so if I fall asleep don't take it personal and he goes oh no no no no so right when that thing takes off I go I just fake it and he's still talking no he's going like oh sorry so you catch that movie oh sorry sorry I'm gonna let you sleep I'm gonna let you see that passive aggressive shit and I just I just go and I just faked it all through it I faked it sleep for like an hour and a half wow till I got to Atlanta down did you ever actually fall asleep cuz sometimes if you fake sleep you fall asleep well here's what happened I faked it and eventually I look over he's going oh okay so you put

him to sleep I put him to sleep and then I watched a movie okay that's not bad not bad but it was a quite an ordeal yeah these talkers just forget about it I don't understand it as soon as they say hi there's no need for a high a slight exchange maybe yes maybe yes and I think he's thinking like keeping talking he gave me his card I'll sign your whole house whatever and it's very nice but you could tell the guy was extremely lonely and he was a sweet guy and I hope the best for him but you know you know it felt like it was it felt like you met that kid in eighth grade or like this kid's a dweeb he's a nerd he's got

some problems but he's nice it was like that but 80 you'd think you you would grow out of that but he was still that kid I think he's lonely I think he's a lonely guy he's got no one to talk to and he goes great I got a buddy for an hour yes and you're cool he's looking at you going hey the cool guy next to me well I had to keep lying because he kind of asked me about my job I couldn't give him comedian no no you can't so the best I could come up with I'm a punch up guy he goes punch up what are you a boxer I go no no I punch up scripts and he goes what so I was like damn it that was too interesting to that's no good anything

I've heard of I got Tropic Thunder something about Mary's like I don't know any of those I'm like well what are we doing here I can't be like giant mainstream movies what do you want me to say Casablanca and rear window so that was it yeah hey folks Tuesday stories brought to you by Ray Khan I've been listening a lot of Pearl Jam lately and it's been great it's been even better using my Ray Khan wireless earbuds Ray Khan's everyday earbuds look feel and sound better than ever with optimized gel tips for the perfect snug in ear fit these earbuds are comfortable and they will not fall out Ray Khan's offer three

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wow yeah that sucks I had a little incident with a lady lay it on me at the airport so I go with the big Steve big Nick Rogers sure oh by the way the Tuesday has we have quite an outrage because we did the meet and greet after every single person was like hey big dick huge dick let's see that I've given this man a gift that keeps giving forever yeah well he better thank us with that hog I want to I want a Christmas card well he fucked up big time cuz he proposed I'm like we're telling thousands of men and young women that you have a giant piece and now you're married yeah what a retard you really blew it

here yeah you big dick idiot you blew it buddy so we get to the flight we're in the lounge the whole thing I'm in Delta comfort he's back in the shit big dick seats we both get upgrade I get upgraded to first class he gets upgraded to comfort hey can't complain there so I'm in first class but they give me the window which I'm an aisle guy because I pissed every 30 seconds so they give me the window I'm in I'm in 4d okay 4c very attractive older woman who I had been pointing out before we're waiting to board was older older than me I mean Laura Dern no dark hair oh jet black hair petite like this little waist some

nice can nice looking gal sure so she sits in the aisle I'm like oh that's the lady from earlier remember and I text Steve cuz I get on before him cuz I'm better than him as a human yes yes so I text and I go hey the lady I was talking about is sitting next to me so then he gets on and we're having some fun and I you know the ladies here and I go I hope your suitcase doesn't fix it's a smart CRJ 900 that's a good line and I say I hope your suitcase doesn't fit in the overhead I hope you have to walk back through the whole line and he's laughing and the lady says that's a really dark thing to wish on someone oh attraction

level I go is it dark plummeting that dark it's not dark not dark it's dark would be I hope your mother gets raped by you know a sandwich maker yes that's our foot long that's dark so I go well he's my friend and she goes that makes it worse well who is this lady and I go no it doesn't it would be a hundred times worse if I just random people I was like I hope you're back yes that's a great be psychotic that'd be a thousand times worse that's a bit and I want I know it's a bit I'm doing oh sorry sorry shit I feel like an asshole just doing bits on the show do the bit thing but I didn't know it was a bit it was a story you

killed but she literally said that and so then I'm looking back at Steve and this lady hates me wow she's like really she's like that's worse and she's like just doing she's literally like doing this and I'm like well now I got a partner that hates me I want the person to like me not as much as your guy likes you but I want to like a little bit sure sure plus she's hot so then I'm like I'll take out my book I bring a book I was like if she sees that I read she'll know I'm a good person yeah so you know pull out you know Donald Trump out of making the deal read that and she had no look and I'm like this she hates me fuck

and I was like I thought about faking a phone call being like I'll be there to volunteer maybe I'll do something like that sure and then Louie texts and I'm like I can't let her see that I can't let her see that just says best friend Louie I gotta throw that out the window so then Steve he gets upgrade he gets the last minute upgrade you know when you're already sitting on the plane they come and find you nothing better than that so it's one of these one seat over there two seats over here it's a little plane so all of a sudden Steve shows up next to me over there the aisle and I go what and then she goes that's your friend right

why don't we switch so you can sit with your friend whoa whoa nice but then she says this maybe she was trying to make amends well then she says this and she gets up she goes he doesn't want to sit next to me I know that and I was like what are we fighting what is that we married I did want to sit next to you because he got great cans and a little waist sure but she was quite mean so she switched then Steve's next to me but it's kind of like the old guy because I love Steve but I'm like I don't want to hang out right now yeah I want to sleep and jerk off and read art of the deal right so we ended up having a nice

couple a couple laughs couple chuckles and you know I'm doing some gags or whatever and check it out his piece but still a little straight that is a little straight but what a turn of I mean she went from the hottest lady to the meanest lady to this so the nicest lady again with the seat switch I mean she's all over the road this broad I think it was a way for her to sit by herself and get away from me because she sees me as this dark soul I don't get I mean what does she do when she sees the news or a homeless guy you know she sees you make a joke she's like yeah I was like a bust I'm busting balls and I said this I was

like I know his suitcase gonna fit like I put mine in so it's like it's not that mean yeah I don't know it's just we're joking Wow what a cool I mean that I'm just gonna say this there's like an epidemic going on in this this time where people are good guys but they're actually kind of shitty you know they act nice and and heroic and you know virtuous but they're actually I had a similar thing and now I'm gonna counter with this lady okay counter oh wait were you done I think I'm done okay so I had two incidents with ladies in Kentucky oh so we sold up we sold out every show and we added a show so when you add a

show it's kind of like the riffraff show up because people are like oh there's a show tonight we know her to this guy which is fine I I think part of being a comic is making strangers laugh that's part of it so we get this show and it goes well they're a little more square they're not your people that is gung-ho so I would do a Holocaust joke and they were so like Jesus Christ you know it's reality right so one lady comes up to me she has armpit hair and she's she's really cute but she's like I noticed you asked if there are any gay people in the room and nobody responded so I went woo and I was like oh thanks thanks for

being supportive whatever I appreciate she's like well it's weird you have no gay people here and I'm like well we've had gay people throughout the show this is like the fifth show we've had them we just none at this show or maybe they didn't respond and she was like I noticed that he didn't didn't have a lot of minorities either and I was like well I don't know it's Lexington what do you want for me and she's like I think it's your crowd and I go well we've had my minorities throughout the weekend sure and she's like no it's your crowd and I'm like okay and then she kind of got snippy and walked away and I was like that

was weird did I just get scolded for not having minorities and she's like Kentucky's very liberal I'm like okay thank you very liberal well yeah I'm in Lexington right as my asshole yeah that's just she said Lexington's very liberal Lexington excuse me so I was like all right yes all right and then she walked away and I was like that was weird and one guy comes up after to buy a shirt and goes fuck her I was like okay so then we do all the shirts she comes back later and goes I don't want you to think I hate you so let's get a photo and I was like in my head I was like I don't want to get a photo with you you hurt my

feelings or you were mean yeah but I did the photo because I'm scared of her so she's flirting with you in a weird way or she like wants to fuck a Nazi in her mind oh it didn't feel like it I think it didn't feel like that but maybe I've never been on the other end of a Nazi fuck fantasy and NFF so she leaves and I get a you know a bunch of emails later whatever and I just delete you know you you have a YouTube email sync meaning whenever you get a comment on your YouTube it you get an email oh I had to get rid of that yeah well I always just delete them because you know you get a bunch of YouTube comments but for some

reason I just said oh I got a comment on this video I open it and it was it said went and saw Mark show I think he's a very liberal guy but I must say his crowd is insanely conservative bigoted and every time he did a ironic racial joke they whooped and hollered because it was supporting their racist beliefs and it was like this long paragraph and I'm like what the fuck is this and I think it was her imagine it was her I mean you had hope it was her you don't want two of these knuckleheads running around well that's true but it's better if it's her but that this is the weird thing now where it's like you're not just

responsible for your actions you're responsible for the people in your audience aha well this this again if you got a bunch of people shooting up the place or like lighting crosses on fire but it's like I do the shows I do what I do whoever comes comes I go to Pearl Jam shows they're like progressive activists it's 95% middle-aged white men aha how they talk about me any better comes out and takes a knee literally I mean they're they're a they're a progressive band they support you know burnt Ralph Nader and all this stuff but a bunch of gay people and black people died into their music what are they gonna

do yeah exactly I mean I go to I've been to 50 shows everybody is a 42 year old straight white guy going I'm still alive right and then I go the audience can't just reflect whatever and if a fist fight breaks out it's not Pearl Jam's not inciting violence a fist fight broke out right I mean some artists do do that well that's true whatever but my point is so this is where I'm going with it so yesterday I get a haircut and I do I don't know if you can tell yeah it's not great it's not great so the guy went I went in and I I love this this barber shop when I go in and I go hey and the guy goes oh and I go why what he

goes we're closing in a half hour and I go half hour it says seven and it's six I'm looking at my mom like it's six beep beep and he goes oh well you know we'd like to start wrapping up and I'm like well you got an hour and he's like well all right all right and he goes sit here and he hits the chair hard with the with the robe and I was like oh this guy's ain't so now I'm going into an angry haircut but I was real fuzzy I needed a haircut so I go well maybe it'll be all right maybe maybe it'll be like a fuck where it's like an angry fuck so it's good by the way you still need one yeah I know so I go in and he's

just wraps the cape around me and I'm like oh shit there's tension you can feel it he's snipping hard and then he does the thing where he wets you know I got curly pube hair so he has to wet it and he's doing this shit you know he's yanking my hair out of my head and he starts buzzing he goes how do you like and I go well he goes what about the head the sideburns I go I just give him a snip right here and he goes up here and then I go how do you want the back and I go I like a rounded square oh this guy fucked me Jerry yeah what the hell so there was another guy next to when I could tell he was like dust he was

sweeping like oh boy like he could feel it and I go hey man I just I couldn't take it anymore because you feel so vulnerable you're sitting there with the cape on he's got tools and knives and scissors he's got you by the balls is it a cape the robe I think it's an apron oh maybe an apron is it a cape capron Chuck well heroes wear I don't know I don't know but by the way I'm not good at it's a genuine question cuz I I've never called it a cape I want to start calling it a cape I would go apron apron's probably best but I don't know why my father's with a man with a cape smock isn't bad it looks like it's

apron I looked it up okay as haircut apron where'd I get cake the same as a cape it's a reverse cape it's a reverse cape a rape cape guy okay I'm a cape apology all right so get so sorry all right so get me here get me there so I'm getting an angry cut and he's not listening to me it's bad thank God he's not a moll this guy would have cut my dick off so he's buzzing he's twisted he's shaking he's dusted he's hit me with that you know he dips the brush in the powder hit me all over the face I'm like and I go dude are you mad at me and he goes well why would I be mad he's like this Italian guy's like well why would

I be mad no I'm mad and he's always all mumbly and quiet he's talking very low and I got to the point where I couldn't hear him but I didn't want to miss something this is vital information he's gonna give me a fucking mohawk out here so I kept me like what huh and he would say it again I'm like yeah you killed me here because it just keeps making it more tense because I have to keep asking what what and then eventually I go okay I want to get it short on the side but keep some at the top and he goes and I go is that good and he goes yeah yeah it's good I'm like all right cuz he wasn't responding to me right and you

know I can't deal with a no response that's like my big trigger it's my parental thing it's psychology goes all the way back to childhood whatever my dad didn't talk to me whatever so part of me was like I might just walk should I walk whoa but I'm halfway through a cut so eventually I kind of just I'm like sweating cuz I'm like I'm in fighter flight mode in a smock right in a chair and this guy is angry at me but I have to pay him but I it's my hair and whatever so eventually I go he goes all right you're all done and I go whoop whoop and I go this side is way longer than this side and he goes well you said not too

short I'm like yeah I don't want to short but it has to be even and he goes well your hair is curly and I go yeah yeah but there's still length I can still pull it out and see what's what and he goes okay and he cuts it better and then I went home and fiercely I gave him like a small tip and got out of there but here's my my was where I'm bringing it all around I wanted to write a review my first thought was to write a review but then I go well am I that coos if I write a review no I think reviews are important I mean that lady's commenting on YouTube and her thing it doesn't make any sense

aha you'd be her if you wrote a review that was like I gotta tell you I was the only one in there so they don't like blacks or whatever you know what I mean it's like her thing is taking one thing and saying another thing yes seems like to me the review could be powerful I'm not writing reviews all over the place I never fucking you like that you gotta shove that review right up their ass because first of all you could be doing service sure someone else who's gonna get a crummy haircut yeah yeah and you know that it gives you some some power the review I guess it does give you power you don't

abuse it people always abuse power but I wish I knew the guy's name because I've been in there ten times and they always do great well you could this guy you might have to make an appointment you have to be an appointment person say hey Billy's my guy yes that's not bad I talked to Cipher sounds our Puerto Rican DJ pal and he has an interesting movies like dude I go to these these barbershops you know and they they have 18 guys hanging out it's like a bunch of black guys and they're all hang out and shoot the shit and chop it up and he's like I go in there and I'm Puerto Rican so they give me a weird shape-up thing

and he's like I'm hip and a DJ so they think I want like a z in there or swastika so he goes he's like gotten burned so many times so he filmed his barber doing it and he made a little sizzle reel and he goes I'm shooting a movie it's got to look exactly like this and that's his move oh and I was like well I'm not gonna shoot a sizzle Chuck that'll take him a year to edit but I'm not gonna shoot a sizzle but I thought okay other people are having these problems with barbers a scissor reel oh also a great name for a lesbian porn right a scissor reel but yeah so I felt glad knowing other people have had barber

problems I think you had barber problems absolutely I think these guys they get angry and they take it out on your your mop well it's everyone's human everyone's fighting their own battle and I think that the floor with me you know he's just going through some shit I thought you were gonna say he read the review from the lady and was like this guy's a Nazi piece of shit that's where I thought it was going no no this guy is not a fan of comedy but yeah no it's frustrating that's one of the gambles with a haircut it's why people get a barber and they stick with them they walk in they go hey Bruce yes okay I got a place that's

really good and they're Asian barbers from Lexington I guess but so I go there every time now because they give me the best yeah I don't know where this is from but yeah sometimes you get a bad haircuts big it's big it's big and it's you know you go back to your apartment you're like you're like a kid again you're stomping your feet going god damn it I should have said this and then you look at the mirror you go I gotta look like that for three weeks cuz it's gonna you know take a while to grow back it looks okay it looks okay it's nice I'm not gonna lie to you I went in with a couple buzz I went back to my house and hit the

buzzer really but up which was that's risky yeah I was playing angry you know when you're angry like you know Chuck you get a nice cut where you going stat island I have a stylist in Rhode Island whoa me and my buddy Ray Harrington the same stylist well I mean she's a I don't know she cuts hair and I know her and that's what she's called I'm saying stylist to be respectful that's what she wants to be called for me I'm like this is my friend Maddie who does my haircut yeah you say something like nail technician esthetician but really you're like I need you know I need my haircut that's

it I didn't know I'm a naive old boomer I didn't know porn was just alright on Twitter yeah yeah I've turned off the Twitter there was a lady at my show in Des Moines of all places West Des Moines was like I just saw Joe list funniest guy ever which is very sweet and you know she's a young lady I go let me let me take a sniff at what's going on here and I scroll down and it was like I just saw Joe list he's great I just bought some bubblegum it tastes great and then it was just a flying butthole yeah butthole pussy dildo the whole thing and hers hers yeah I'm not shaming I'm for it I was it but I couldn't

believe it so then I'm scrolling and I'm like look at this and it's like beaver anus nipples and then just stavros shirtless at some point she she retweeted stavros so I'm like I'm hard as a rock yeah I see stavros it just blast off left turn that is see that fat Greek shirtless as this half this attacked me I was in line at Starbucks and I was scrolling through Twitter next to this old lady and I spooked this old lady with a rough deep throat video by accident I had no idea and it's it's quite a thrill I had no idea you could just find Twitter but this is the problem what Checks talking about all the female com

not all the female comics but lots of female comics now post photos yes traps yes so I'll be on the bus or I've taken a bus in 20 years but I'll be on something heroin and I'm like going through my feed and all of a sudden it's just Kim Cognon smushing her tips and then I look like a porn guy comic she's a friend of mine and that happens a lot and it's also weird that like why am I the creep she's posting it it just and I even if even if you were looking at it on purpose why does that make you a bad guy that's what I don't get yeah I don't make you a bad guy but just to a stranger yeah the stranger the late

especially that lady at the plane that called me dark oh she would have seen those beeholes she saw Karen Fianno this fan with her anus but I don't know she would have thrown a suitcase at me or whatever I would like that's dark right there that's a dark butthole the beehole has no attraction to me it's cute I'd like a beat I don't hate it but like seeing anal penetration doesn't get me anywhere I think it's just like wow she's going there that's the attraction like holy it's almost like anal I don't know if you've ever gotten your ass pounded but it hurts yeah a couple days ago but but I'm saying if you if you

fuck a girl in the ass it's just like oh we're going that little next level well that I like okay having anal is exciting but just seeing a photo I'm not like oh no I'm kind of like oh all right it's but I think I'm old it's medical too you're like that's where your shit comes out of how about that but it's quite a thrill cuz you're like this person was that like a porn person being in your show yes yes so that was quite a thrill and but Des Moines is one of those weekends where I don't have a lot of great stories but great weekend there all the Des Moines Tuesdays were so cool our fans are the best and thanks for coming

up but it was such a productive weekend Steve and I were bouncing bits the whole time huge we went to the movies I forget how much I love being on the road we went to the Cheesecake Factory after the Friday show we flew in a night early there's a club there a little room called Teehee Comedy Club and we went and did spots there Teehee Bank hey boy you are hot tonight you do are you going to another pod I hope so I got nothing all right well you do do something maybe I'll set some up at the park film it but yeah so we went in a day early and because to save money on flights his flights are crazy and our boy Chavone check out the

live episode on Patreon right now yes he he was there the week before and he's like you guys got to go to this room because he did that thing where he did it and he's like hey Joe listen Steve Rogers they were like what yeah yeah what we showed up to Teehee and quite a room and some really funny comics I forgot I saw this young Latino comic I forget his name fuck something something Rodriguez Carlos Padres San Diego Padres I don't know it was something but he was very funny and I was laughing out loud a couple funny comics there and they're excited because

we're there and then we do sets that was great then Friday night we do a show killer Saturday we do the early show killer late show great show and like 40 minutes in I look in the front table I go hey you that comic from the other night yeah that's me I'm like you guys are all comics and he's like yeah and I was like this guy's fucking hilarious and it was quite a very exciting for them they were like hey shout out no better feeling though when the comics come out that means they respect you they appreciate they like you they want to see a pro at work it was very exciting and then I thought about being like come

up and tell that bit yes that I was afraid to just bury me like Patrice O'Neill style well that's the interesting thing when you cuz I'll do that too I'll go to these weird towns and you pop it on the local scene and your like this guy's brilliant that guy's like that story Louie told about being in was he in Ireland or something and he or no Melbourne Melbourne and he saw some brilliant weird nerd kid with great jokes and he said come to the Sydney Opera House right it's a weird book as you're like whoa you're fucking great and then you're like maybe I'm not that good and then you're also like you live

here which kind of gives a more right panache and cachet like well you just is hidden gem in the middle of nowhere yeah this good comics everywhere now it's like the bad old days it was like Boston Chicago LA New York and now every city of West Des Moines but yeah you're like you should get out sooner than later yes get out or get online one of the other get your shit out there show the world I'll do a scroll you know you scroll through these comics you're like oh yuck enough with the crowd where you suck and then one you're like this guy's a genius right right it happens or gal yes of course but yeah that was

exciting it's fun to come in and do a alternative show and then Des Moines funny bone just kicked ass man so many great Tuesdays one guy just handed me cash which I appreciate a couple gift cards and just just awesome it feels very nice and thanks for the patreon hell yeah patreon people we went up it went up to Chuck Chuck E Chuck's kept it in line you kept it on the rails with these queeps and the Q&A and all your ideas and if you're not gonna to it in I mean you should kill yourself because we got a soul Joel coming up that's gonna be a banger yeah it's gonna be something big road trip that's gonna be

wild we're gonna figure out the details of the driving that's gonna come out this Thursday whoa I believe when I see it Nelly all right now I got one more please I need I need some input on this because this is a wapa minimal input from Chuck directly look at me they'll say did you ask him see put this up because now they're gonna be mad at us hey what is this stand for he looks at me and someone's like he didn't ask him all right Chuck Taylor hang back so that same five o'clock show you ever have this one I think every comic's done this where you're doing well but there's one this one lady right here because it's a

small stage right there literally next to my asshole is this Lexington Lexington this is the five o'clock the added show that's where you got into trouble because he these people just went well pop over to this bullshit whoever this twink is five o'clock Shashow yes so I'm there doing well and this lady's just stone-faced and mead-mugging cold cocking just you know and I'm doing like the oh you almost smiled there haha oh hey why you almost laugh whoa oh she almost laugh folks you know and that's doing well and then at one point I'm killing with this woman up front I'm like I love you you just you get me and

she's like whatever and then I go unlike her this is I mean you you're just a jolly ray of sunshine and this might be the face of death whatever and it's it's hitting but she won't crack you know usually go alright geez okay I'll smile nothing no crack no crack unlike the 80s and so then she's like I go blah blah blah make fun of her again then I do the whole like is she laughing and they're like she's not laughing you know and that's killing whatever so then I sell shirts and she shows up and and I think she's gonna be like look I'm just not a laffer I got a weird face whatever but she was like we got a talk I was like

ah fuck she goes would you say the n-word on stage what and I go nah probably not I have but I try to cut down on it or whatever and she goes well why do you say the r-word and I go wow I think they're a little different and she goes well my son has Down syndrome oh boy and I go well my cousin has Down syndrome so now we're off on this retard off you know like oh my so my cut whatever and then she goes I don't approve of those jokes you shouldn't do those jokes and I go what about the Holocaust joke she goes that's fine and I go so it's only when it affects you right and she goes well it's just pretty

hurtful and rude and I'm like to you everybody else seemed to enjoy it and I don't want to be mean I don't want to be like fuck you lady get a life you snowflake I'm not trying to be that guy but I'm trying to be a little bit like I can't just cater to your world right I don't know you I've never met you I don't know your son I'm sure he's a sweet kid I'll get him some candy but I I just can't do it and she's like well whatever and she stormed off in a huff now what what what is the protocol there well it's it's a bummer to hurt people's feelings that's thing you never want to upset people you don't want to hurt and I'm sure if you

if you have said it early in the show so she's just fuming and then you keep calling back and but whatever but the thing is it's like you're buying a ticket to see an artist as much as it's comedy we're telling dick jokes we're saying retire whatever it's still a form of odd performing arts yeah and you don't get to decide what the artist does that's the nature of consuming art yes you know I wish that Bob Dylan didn't make a fucking Christmas album sure but he did and I go ah well I don't care for that one whatever it is but this is a little I hear you but this is different because it's Bob Dylan made a Christmas out what

a hack what a sellout this is you're a bad guy that's what hurts but that's what I'm saying is so like again like smashing pumpkins they bring in drum machines and I hate it I'm like I like the early stuff I hate that but I don't write to Billy Corgan and say hey I think you're a scumbag you piece of shit right maybe this is a false equivalency I just go fuck I don't like that as much as I used to yeah yeah so she could just go home and go I didn't care for that but you're certainly welcome to say the thing and I have the same thing I have a joke where I say retarded I had a guy email me and be like I love the show but

my wife is upset because she has her whatever has down syndrome would you consider taking that out and I wrote back I can't do that because then I have to start catering to what everyone says I'm sorry she didn't like the joke it upsets me that she's upset sure but it's just a word and I didn't say it to a kid with down no of course I would be saying the word and I did in Atlanta do the jokes I have where I say retarded and there was a kid with down syndrome there and I felt terrible after but none of them were upset in the crowd in the crowd yeah very functional and sure and so you know you feel bad yeah then you

move on they weren't too upset they didn't certainly didn't tell me if they were upset and that's part of it it's like you know I guess it's part of it but it just sucks because you give them access to you by selling a shirt or taking photos and then they feel they can critique which I guess they're allowed to do free speech or whatever but and you don't want to hurt you don't want upset I don't want to make her feel bad but it kills it's a it's a funny joke and it wouldn't work without that word I'm the same I have the same thing going and to me it's like I don't know I'm from that's not offensive to me and

it's not offensive to most people in the audience yeah well we do this thing now where we go these are jokes these are jokes but these four things are untouchable like race or trans or retarded or whatever so it's like I get the holocaust thing I like dark humor I know that's a joke but this is over the line like we do that with trans all the time Chappelle Ricky Gervais and you're like but why why do those stick out to you well you can't go trans jokes but why not they're just people you're making fun of people you know that's what I don't get it's like he made holocaust he made slavery made Muslim he made cancer AIDS

but the trans stuff is what we focus on why is that yeah I don't know I guess it's like the hot but whatever but yeah I think that she's within her right to say that sure I prefer just going well I didn't care for that whatever but maybe if you kept calling back to her that's why she feels like all right well if he's gonna keep talking about I'll go tell him why I was right whatever but to me it's like that's the nature of art but particularly comedy the idea of comedy is saying stuff you're not supposed to say a little bit whole idea of it yeah yeah and and somebody said this recently on a podcast but it's like people

trying to tell comedians what not to say never really holds up well it's not a good look looking back like nobody's like they were right to try to shut down Lenny Bruce right she's trying to shut you down I guess she's trying to get you to think about something which I know what we'll do I go all right I'll think about it but I definitely thought about it all weekend ultimately it's like yeah you might hear some stuff you don't like I mean which is the nature of fucking life yeah it's like I walk around I see a homeless guy taking a shit in the sidewalk that's not something I was looking forward to seeing but life is

difficult and I go oh shit that sucks yeah miserable and again you know Tarantino has a movie where a guy gets raped and then he cuts it with a fucking samurai sword which is dark horrific crazy shit gore and I'm sure a lot of moms are like I don't want my kids seeing this but that's art yes I mean I that's the but the problem with Tarantino is he's up in Israel fucking his model wife and we're standing in the lobby of a comedy club behind a card table going hey I got a shirt here yeah that's part of it yeah part of it is because we're so accessible with social media and we go and do a meet and great

so people are welcome to come and say shit and a lot of it's hurtful yeah that's part of it she's taking a gamble by going in the audience and listening to a comedian and we're taking a gamble by standing out the hallway and getting feedback from people good point and look we are discussing it because it does affect us we want to we want to make it right but I don't know if there is a solution here but I thought this since I was a kid when it was like I'm like I just don't I haven't heard a compelling argument about how me on stage saying the word retarded making the noise retarded with my mouth yeah is making

the world a worse I know in fact if you're upset but 250 people laugh I've brought joy to a whole lot of people and I do feel bad that you're upset sure but I can't feel bad for that long and I've brought much more joy and I don't think I'm bringing any real suffering into the world you're just triggered by a word right that's fine yeah you're allowed to be triggered well the whole thing's retarded and I hope the best for that lady and her kid Chuck wants to talk so bad right now I can feel it looks like you have something to say if you've got a nugget I say get it out but if you don't got a nugget don't just pontificate

I say it's like Twitter you got 140 characters to express whatever that face was yes and I can mute you block you I'm very good okay okay yeah so I guess I'll just keep doing the bid it kills it works and and it isn't even like they're dumb and that's the other thing about the our word is tricky because nobody I know hates them with other groups you can hate right like all these black Joe somebody might hate they might there's groups that hate black people you're like yeah but I don't know anybody who hates a down Z right to you know what them out of my neighborhood or whatever no I don't know anybody so I yeah I don't

know the joke but it happens and that's part of it especially these days everybody gets a word and everybody's very upset so it's just part of it I think the problem is not only does everybody get a word now they get a word and expect change whereas before you just got a word in now people go this this and this now fix it do better or whatever the fuck they say I mean I reference it all the time I think about it all the time it's like the greatest moment in the history of rock and roll or art is in the Dylan in no no direction home when he's they're all booing yep and they say Judas traitor and he says I

don't believe you you're a liar and they turn says play it fucking loud and it's like what would have happened it chills if Dylan went all right you're right acoustic I'll go get my acoustic guitar yeah and I'll sing about civil rights right you know it's like some people are gonna boo and yell Judas and you go hey I don't believe you what do you want me to do and that's how I feel with this lady it's like I'm sure you're offended but you could just go I hate that comic and go home yeah yeah yeah it's like I always am like people reality shows on Bravo I think are like destroying our society right to Bravo and go hey you

gotta take this off I go I'm gonna watch the fucking ballgame I know I think my lady watches those she's like I know it's trash TV but that's like junk food I'm like I've watched a few with you and I think it made me dumber yeah I oh now what I do and this really pisses her off she'll put this 90 day fiancee horseshit on I'll go get a book and read it in front of her just to go haha you're not gonna get you're not gonna dumb me down lady we both fake red books in this episode you got that right I'm reading a book about 90 day fiancee but still great program so hey folks this weekend I'm at the Liberty funny bone in Ohio I heard

it's a tough room it's a big room it's a crazy room come on out I need you I need to hit some bonuses cuz I'm taking Matt Wayne to the tennis tournament I guess so yeah so he's coming so go the Liberty funny bone get your tickets and and then I don't even know what I have next October oh Royal Oak Michigan September 29th and 30th October 1st we packed that out last time let's do it again Royal Oak I'm back whole new act great come and the movie is available right now it's streaming at Louis CK.com there's a lot of Tuesdays out there that have not purchased it yet so please go get it you get a full audio commentary with Louie

and I you get the deleted scenes the Lewis Gomez scene and there's a bunch of fun shit on there the live at the Beacon stuff that Chuck shot that away Chuck and so go buy it 15 bucks it's quite it's like a meal it's a steal that you can have four people watching yes that's a steal baby you go to the movie theaters 1999 plus a bag of popcorn if you're gay you got to see it I mean go see it what the fuck you gotta go gay and patreon yes all right this week I'm at San Antonio then the bachelor party so tune in next week for that horse shit that's gonna be a barrage of debauchery and then yeah yeah yeah richman funny

bone yes Wilbur theater yes Royal Oak New Orleans Seattle Portland Toronto Vancouver that's shit think the West Palm Beach Mark Norman comedy.com tell a friend queef it up go buy some bodega cat whiskey we finally got that up on the blower there and praise Allah get on the patreon I think we have shirts get a mug who the hell knows queef it up we love you you