Tuesdays with Stories! - #474 Moz-fart

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

Mark opens the show by telling a story of becoming a tour guide for the West Village. Joe ruins a Chipotle hookup with an extra ladle of honesty! Mark heads to four different cities in four days, and has a canine airplane invader! Joe goes to Syracuse, and calls for the end of Starbucks mobile orders. The boys get into money, time and diamonds being a construct. We've got a couple of Dalai Lamas in the studio, folks! True jizz-dom! Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories Sponsors: - Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/Tuesdays for 10% off your first month. - Visit http://www.manscaped.com and use code TUESDAYS for 20% off and free shipping. - Visit http://www.liquidIV.com and use code TUESDAYS.

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy my radio is spitting at me I can't choose what I'm gonna say 90 90 easy what doesn't happen at radio stations there's no guy next door

where they're like Bob in the mornings next door he's angry well because they got a studio we're just in an office folks we're making the move wheels are in motion we're talking to a buddy we're gonna be moving soon but this is a first door open-door policy I haven't seen have you seen him in the flesh do you know what he looks like no I don't know he's little I think he's little little little he's big he's like William Wallace he's 611 he hits his wife fireballs out of his eyes and bolts of lightning from his eyes I'm picturing like a big ogre in a suit just like like a bull with with the you know

air coming out of his nose you know I'm picturing is Chris Cuomo like ripped handsome curly no yeah and Rick I think he's one of these guys who's like 61 he's a lawyer and he does you know jujitsu and like he can hold himself up on one palm oh yes he's one of those guys I know what you mean but the way he ties he gets free pie free pie really that's pretty good that's that remember that line oh yeah he talks to waiters he gets free pie but anyway he's scary doors wide I think he's a little Jewish guy he's like an angry little that again won't appear okay all right all right he's already appeared he's here I'm

terrified I but anyways we're nervous and something by the way a bunch of people wrote to like why do you have to be quiet fuck him that's a great well I'm like we're children like he's gonna clunk our heads together yeah we don't we're doing a we're doing a cartoon podcast in here also he's doing a business man I know he's like running a lawyer shop over there and we're just assholes talking about creaming in our parents assholes I know we call it a lawyer shop that's a bad sign so yeah we're screwed and he could sue us what are we gonna do is zing him we got nothing someone someone suggested like

have choco over and give him a talking to he'll scare him and I'm like talking back I'm the biggest pussy out of the three of us yeah oh absolutely I could beat the snot on a chuck you kidding you should see the sneakers he's wearing you can run away in those he's gonna pump them up first yeah he's gonna you know have his jacket tried automatically back to the future references to folks all right all right well we're back we're live we're here it we're recording on a Wednesday I haven't seen you since the 70s I don't know what's going on last time I saw he was at the stand and you bailed on me it was a good

hand I was I was with the loser group it was a bunch it was nerd central you showed up it was like an oasis oh thank you good band and then I was like let me run downstairs I was like don't go any I was duct tape you to the chair and I went downstairs like you're getting bumped by someone I was like sweet at least I got normand upstairs I run up and you were gone and a puff of smoke well I did some day drinking and I was banged up I was out with DeRosa and all these guys and we did shots all day and boy it was it was tough I didn't know who you were I was talking to Jim Florentine I thought he was Schumer yeah you really

hit him with some hard questions did I yeah yeah you were like Mike Wallace on a black and white TV blackface I don't remember any of it I don't what are we talking about yeah well you were like you ever fuck this lady you ever fuck that lady and he's like what are you talking about and I was like oh boy I'm glad I left yeah it was bad I went on the train and I mugged someone it was to get out of there it was cuckoo but yeah it was good to see I don't see in the wild all that much we're running around we're ships in the queef and no skankfest you're missing skankfest don't remind me it's killing me it's gonna be so

fun I got eight people tell where you stay in what's the hotel where number yet what what shows you do it I'm like I'm missing Woodstock I know I know in Vegas we're gonna be hookers and strippers and by the way Sarah had to bail so I'm untethered I mean it's gonna be crazy I'm gonna replace I'm gonna cheat you're not staying in my room were you crazy we could have fucked it's gonna be it's gonna be wild I'm gonna be at the strip club at 8 a.m. I made the sports book at 8 15 a.m. and I'm gonna be back in my room crying at 8 17 yeah well I know the schedule shit I'm so bummed what are you doing you're doing what

Kansas City or some horseshit you're worse here's the clinker I'm doing you know every week you go hey Thursday Friday Saturday you're on the road at some horseshit club for some reason the stars aligned in a bad way and I'm doing Friday Saturday Sunday at a club and it just happened to fall on those days I thought I was gonna have Sunday I was gonna whiz right over I'm at Orlando improv I'm gonna get heckled for three days and then my ass reamed you know who you are you're maril you marilled me what do you mean they're doing the work and not the fun we talked about him in skankfest well I want

it oh jeez he doesn't worry he's like I can you believe people are going to skankfest I'm like what are you crazy I'm canceling weekends well the difference is I want to go he doesn't want to go now he doesn't want to go secondly I got screwed on this weekend it's just a rare weekend with the Sunday show I'm fucked I know and then I tried to go Thursday and she was like we don't need you on Thursday I'm like come on you're killing me fatty oh it's gonna be brutal and you know what's gonna happen all week everyone where's Normand it happened last year you should get a sign she get like a like a what

do you a sandwich board like hey he's not here leave me alone that's not bad they'll get a sandwich board or a shirt by the way the shirts are selling like you have a two guys one stunk and never got back to me the other one was great first-class Paul Paul he's good my name is Paul that's between y'all hide the bodies he did he yes go get some shirts on there check them out yeah he and Jason Katz oh yeah Katz see all right cats and where yeah but I'm it's hurting it's killing me I'm not going crushes me it's gonna be nuts and where are you Florida Orlando Orlando the worst improv I know sorry I know tickets

aren't even moving Mickey Mouse ears we're gonna be with me deep and pussy I know be talking to some old bag about her retarded son you know it's gonna be a second bachelor party fuck man me Ari Bobby Kramer the butler Lewis the roast the goddamn comedy jams man are you doing a roast tits no no roast good it's a lot of work it is but it was fun last time oh it was a humdinger yeah I watched that puppy on my phone and I was howling on a rental car and he just well where what are you up to how about this on the way over had two things happen to me this city's cookie you know me I live in the Westville and I'm walking to the

train and an older guy like a little kind of like a neboshi older white guy goes do you have a minute and I was like actually I kind of don't and he was like oh okay okay one question is this the village and I go oh yeah I could tell he's a little nervous he's like kind of skittish and I'm like yes the West Village he goes huh okay well where are all the shops and I go oh geez all right we'll go down bleaker and you'll see all the cool shops and he's like now where's bleaker I'm like oh boy where you're from he goes Brooklyn I got Brooklyn and he goes I'm from Bensonhurst I've never left Brooklyn seven years old I

swear to God so now I'm fascinated I'm like what you never left now pull up a chair we're doing a pod I got a podcast with this guy oh wow it's called don't sleep till the village and we just sat and talked for like two minutes no kidding wow never left Brooklyn that's goofy but he's like just an old white guy did it just that's how it was back then I think it was like whoa Manhattan that's big city lights I think so yeah well Manhattan I think to those who was the same as Manhattan to us it's like we're going down to see a Broadway show the lights the glitter the glamour exactly Gary if you live in Brooklyn if

you live in Kansas I think it's like here we go here we go and he was just like an old Irish guy and he was like okay and I watched him walk away and he had those weird little old man steps like his shoes are tied together yes shoes tied and he's he's gonna go look at a shop and see one price and have a heart attack but I can't imagine man I haven't been out of the village shops in a minute but yeah but he'll get shanked boy in Brooklyn I remember shopping for a tie there when I did Letterman back in 2013 and it was like $190 for a tie I'm telling you oh Taiwan on yeah Taiwan are they still around I keep hearing it's

gonna get destroyed or something Thailand yeah one of them it was a sock a soccer team full of boys got caught in a cave which sounds like a fantasy of mine socrates that was Chile no Chilean miners hot out I think that was I think it was tie that Chilean sea bass kick his ass give that a good I'm pretty sure was tie soccer that sounds like something but then there was Chilean miners remember the Chilean miners much under 18 year old kids fantasy but stop rose just call that's always weird oh is he dying he's coming to the wedding with that I just bring it back to me but Taiwan is tsunami they get hit with that

right but then China's gonna get them what I keep saying right we didn't get them isn't that Taiwan I think so when Russia took Ukraine they were like China's gonna get Taiwan next is that where Pelosi's tits went what I mean I think she went her brother tits to tie one oh I don't know I remember it was a big deal I got the Thailand football team thing haha in June in July 2018 a junior association football team and their assistant coach are rescued from the team Wang Nang non cave in Chiang Rai province in Northern Thailand that sounded like hip hop hymnivid have a tie long non cave wing

oh yeah I was in Thailand oh wow okay yeah I'll tell you shortly thereafter heavy rainfall partially flooded the cave system blocking their way out they have a cave system cave system that's cool like Batman like a ant farm okay well either way what was I talking about so the old guy I have to leave him I'm like dude the clock's ticking he's dead in a ditch and I get up all the way to 42nd Street where we record and a lady goes excuse me excuse me can you help me and I was like damn it but what is it about me I got I got something going on today that people are like hey he's a safe honky well you look

like you know you don't know backpack no you know like pinwheel hat you look like you live in the city you know you fit you're a handsome guy you're walking around you got some you know gum sure you look like you have some cash you got some nice pants well I think something about me getting in a hurry is there like oh he knows he's going somewhere they think they would stop so that's not that's what I thought yeah I try to keep the head down it's like George I try to pretend to be annoyed nobody talks to me I think it's a likable thing I think it's a likable face that's it seems like he's friendly yeah no one's stopping

that thing over there oh no it's great I can't get anywhere look at his split yeah yeah you're never getting bugged yeah all right well either way I'm trying this lady goes excuse me excuse me I got she goes a Espanol I go now yeah you speak Spanish I'm like no no and she goes okay well six six straight so now she's speaking Spanish to me even though she asked me if I speak Spanish face face and I had a few she goes how do I get to the the green line basically she's asking for and they're day you got to take the siete seven siate I think it's Verte oh wait the siete siete seven okay okay I got that right thank God so I

go siate uno stop oh and to green oh and she was like mmm and I said mirror mirror you know make sure to look up Helen mirror yes because mirror mirror on the wall because you know you got to see where you're going there and she goes mirror and she's doing this shit I'm like no no no no and I go siate uno stop get off and she goes no I don't know and I ran away yeah throw in a poor for more they like the poor for more I think I said underlay underlay because the train was here I was like a reba Tito Santana a ruba ray well well you're you're you're of service out there

trying that was on the way here yeah that's just that's just today I know and then I don't have a key car I gave my key card the old Chuck D over here and then so I have to do the schmooze every time I go hey I live here I'm in the building I live on the 17th floor I have an encampment I'm homeless and he's like all right go up by the way they're shooting Lauren order out there that's fun what trucks in the van you didn't see all the trailers getting stopped by Hispanic women oh geez yeah they got the trailer out there and it really chaps my asshole every time because when you we should be on Lauren order I would love

to get raped didn't we wouldn't maybe fun to come in we're masked we fuck some ladies and then they arrest us and they're like it wasn't me and then they throw us in the clink yeah put us in a ski man how fun would that be you've seen this next guy on Netflix and lawn order bum bum that's like Colin said he never got it never got on once yeah what's up with that and also wouldn't be fun to have that little that little zing about you you know you're like a dead body with jizz all over you know like it's a sticky situation or something I just want to be in a trailer an air stream a movie trailer whatever that's

funny that's movie trailers and this movie trailers that's interesting right thought of that there's the makeup trailer and the trailer you sit the trailer and then you get to be in a trailer how about that man we live in a trailer it's not great but it's something that's something by the way I had this the other day they're shooting a movie or a show that I never heard of in a story my neighborhood and I always like to walk by it when they're filming and I was saying to Sarah's like don't you have this fantasy that you're always gonna get recognized they're gonna be like hey Joe you were good in that thing

come on in here sure then right as I said it some guy went hey Joe list and he had the thing in his ear but he used to be a producer at skanks so he didn't cast me or anything but it was still neat still need your over Hollywood guy to go whoa whoa Joe list you're a comedian we need you in the scene exactly like this kid the way you walked by with that coffee was just hilarious get in here that would be fun well speaking of that I can like and seg right into this butthole I come back home off the road me and the lady go to dinner and we go I mean we'll go here we walked through this restaurant it's closed for some

reason Columbus Day I don't know indigenous people's anal and we go we go let's try this other place we go there we sit down two free glasses of champagne like what are you what's going on here and this guy comes up cute little guy with a blazer on he's the manager and he goes congrats on the wedding whoa who's this kid did you do you know this guy did you fuck him into the lady and she's like I don't know this guy and he goes Tuesday all the way all pipes what brought us free lobster what tacos oysters and I was like dude I can't afford this he's like what are you kidding I got it I wanted to get some some beers and an

oyster and he comes in with fucking the whole seafood shanty wow I love a hookup hookup boy nothing better than a hookup and he was a good Tuesday because this bad Tuesdays out there you know the ones who are a couple yeah they're in the audience going you suck it's all pipes shall we bring him back or whatever and this guy was like I don't need a photo I don't need to blow you I just want to give you food and booze and I'll be on my way wow I love that that's great so what did he charge you anything at this guy zero I got tip because the waiter helped out but then you want the lady be like oh my god that was so hot but

nothing yeah well maybe she doesn't want to tip her hand she doesn't want to give you too much tip tip you want the hand maybe she doesn't want to maybe she's like oh boy you know I wish I could get my hand tipped or whatever something I'm gonna cut her hands off because she kept texting during the dinner and I was like hey hey hey and I took her phone I put it in my pocket oh wow yeah yeah good assertion yes gotta assert and then it vibrated the whole time and I kept coming up it's vibrating now she's like it was like Roger Rabbit and you know Roger Rabbit well who you know shaving a haircut he's like you know that scene of

course I love that scene Christopher Lloyd one of the most underrated really amazing we tried to get him to be in our movie there's the grandfather but the grandfather has two lines and he's like what are you saying did you see the Christopher Lloyd Michael Jay Fox reuniting I saw a little bit of viral I have a hard time with Jay Fox it makes me upset well you know he's a little shaky yeah but what a film what a duo now can I tell you a story this one there's a lot a lot of moving parts here and I've done it on stage a few times it might be a bit which is tough because so many people that come to the

shows right so then you're doing the bit you're trying to sell it but you're like I've already told this yeah on the podcast I think they like it because I go I know this one yeah so I'm nervous to tell on the podcast because it's a it's a bit and you know bits are valuable yes also currency this feels like something that needs to be discussed here oh hey bring it on me fatty I'm salivating all right so Matt salivating that was fun by the way I woke up in a sweat Tuesday morning I was like did we go too hard on Salicus remember we really really shit on it was funny I'm putting it up as a clip this week

that's hilarious we go to hard on this guy don't worry I made it into a clip highlighted it I did the word is he's lovable I love this okay well I went to text him about something unrelated and I was like shit because the date the week before we were like one of the best yes and then he was like shared it was like these guys too kind and I had to warn him like well we really do a number on you next yeah well I think if you get the good with the bad as a balance yeah he's a sweet it's like a thunderstorm you know silly it's all silly you probably take him down how he's even funny okay funny yeah it's funny he's not like a fucking

brocco in the helicopter it's funny it's funny anyways so thank you I go to Chipotle and where was this where did this happen it was here in Manhattan I'm just trying to think of where it was it was one on 60th and 3rd Avenue oh yeah that's a good one yeah that's one of my goat that's my home Chipotle no closest 3rd wow that's no man's land well for me I go there a lot there's the movie theater there's Bloomingdale's at Chipotle and then I like to get off there and walk through the park big Bloomingdale's guy every once in a while if I have a TV taping back in the old days when we used to do TV gotta get a blouse yeah Ted Baker

blouse sure TVB so I go to the Chipotle and it's it's it's dead so it's just like you know you have one person making your burrito yes you go all the way down the line with the one lady I kind of like that so this is a I do too yeah you have a relationship so I really hit it off with this damn she was a nice nice lady whatever afro-american a she was which will come into play I think I know her so I ordered the thing rice you know me extra rice lots of rice I say I'm not afraid of carbs and I tap my belly and she goes oh that's fun he's funny ray rice then I say can I get some queso I say I'll get I'll get a little queso she

goes well how little and I go I don't know let me let me see the scoop and then she scoops it's about half a dreidel oh go on it was full ladle and she goes is it ladle or dreidel I believe it's a ladle what's a dreidel dreidel does not pick up I don't think Hanukkah can have cheese you spit at top I thought that was the same thing they just rhyme oh okay ladle ladle's a scoop dreidel's a top I see top okay or yamaka all right well she takes the ladle mm-hmm ladle baby okay so ladle ladle baby she takes half a ladle and she goes is this enough and I go yeah that's good she goes all right well not if it's

just this much she I won't charge you and half a scoop of a half a dreidel is pretty good yeah so she puts it on there it's a nice looking scoop and she goes I'm not gonna charge you and I go hey I'm getting hooked up this is the beauty of being alone with the lady yes and it's also nice to connect with a with a black person because you know tough times racially tense and so she recognizes me as a good one one of the good one yes she's like this guy this guy's first class and I say great thanks I'll take I'll take the cheese and then she we finish and she rolls it up and she goes on look I go it looks like a softball

because it was a little round she goes isn't it funny softballs aren't really soft and of course I've heard this observation here but I'm not gonna say that to her I love it I love it I go that's hilarious that's true you get hit with one of those things you're not very soft which is a great Brian Regan bit but she doesn't know that so I'm just doing Regan in there and I really sold it too I was like softball she's like laughing yellow cheese is the sun we really have a nice time so then she rolls it up and doesn't label it passes off to the registered lady now the registered lady is a quite white devil so we've

had so much charming chatting yeah you're an ally yes a good good chat but we had the softball thing and then the cheese thing the hot sauce we had all the stuff happened since the hookup I see so now you know me I'm all I'm honest Abe over here same old G so the lady says been low key and the lady says what's in this now I'm not you know I'm not a guy that gets a water cup and put soda in it you know what I mean I'm not that kind of guy that's my MO so I say it's chicken and queso what are you doing you get the hookup I forgot about the and I think honesty you know vigorous rigorous honesty I try to be an honest

guy so I say that's chicken and queso CQ the old Colin Quinn sure every time I order it they put CQ on it I send a photo to the colony still goes I still don't understand what this means don't worry about it and so she goes queso and then she turns it she goes Julie you got a label of queso queso's extra and then the girl looks at me and goes the fuck are you doing you ruin it for white what from her perspective it looks like I just walked over and went hey this bitch over here stealing cheese just a heads up I'm a Karen I'm a rat I want to kill myself I deserve stitches I fucked myself because the queso is like

seven dollars extra because of inflation well this this proves that honesty is not always the best policy I know but I forget I forgot yes and so I don't know how to I don't know if I should go back there should I kill myself should I burn the place down I she's probably arrested yeah they probably taste that black lady holy shit I fucked up so hard oh that's bad that's back cuz you should ride that wave you get the hookup you gotta enjoy that that's pheromones baby I know but I forgot don't you see that I forgot I get it okay cuz so much dialogue happened post hookup yeah the softball we had the

cheese we had the hot sauce and the thing oh you like a lot of hot I like and then by the time I got around I just I just instinctively yeah it's like when someone just goes hey what if someone's like hey don't tell them the color of your pants right ten minutes later like someone's like what color your pants you say they're blue yeah then you blow it yeah not a great analogy I know what you mean though good but I get so excited about a hookup and and built in the system I love to juke the system fuck the system and then I would have been so excited chicken that is chicken I know but I break out in

times I start shaking I can't lie I stay honest a boy oh boy we got to teach you how to lie that should be a patron I'll take you around town we'll put you in a dress we'll make it all fake and you have to go with it but I need someone better because you're not always great at lying I lie a lot yeah you're not good at it but I still remember that the ice incident of the car first hang what ice you're trying out the phone with your girlfriend you're like oh there's a big she to ice and I'm like well that was for comedic I was trying to make you laugh there oh were you cuz I she was by and then you're like the six of us in

the car I'm playing it up but I think you were trying to dupe no dupe well I was a little dupe but I was doing I was double duping for her for your pleasure right but I heard some lies for you though right away I'm like no but here's the thing that some lies out there that people even know that her lies that's how good so there's some you know but there's a lot you don't oh I know oh believe me get married thank Christ but yeah I blew the hookup I don't know what do you do in that situation should I apologize but the problem is I couldn't express to her that I forgot I couldn't just say I

forgot you're hooking me up cuz that's even worse right but I'm worried that in her eyes I just told her you care and yes I care and I'm a snitch Karen well then she'll never she'll never help out the blue-eyed devil again I know she'll remember I'm probably fixed in her head yeah then you know she's gonna go back to her her black panther meeting or whatever they do and then the other cookout or whatever and then she's gonna go hey yeah I tried once it was so kind and so nice because it's not cheap yeah case though no what do you do wow this is rough case so closed yeah cuz this is you can't go back there if you

do go back you have to somehow come up with a olive branch with this lady the lady was really mad to do like she was like you fucked up you idiot it was so bad we caught each other's eye and I was like this this could be a fun kind of Nathan for you a list for you is like is people you feel like you you fucked up with you like start following them and learning about their life and then you help them somehow right I don't know that could be something I'm spitball in here by the way everyone I talk about how much I love Nathan for you by the way I watched the final episode it's the best thing I've ever seen finding Francis

the guys are genius killer and then they show him at the Met scale and people's like heads exploded because they like baseball Nathan feel about 7,000 people tagged me sent it to me and like some people are just like this look like yeah I got it very sweet everyone's like they really put the two things together oh my god list is gonna shit well but it does if you see him you can be like hey you see what a brooner did on the second base yeah like you can have a little chit chat you got something to go into you see what a mantle did on shortstop I think he was the shortstop by the way no center field

ah was he at least short no I don't think he was a drunk okay there we go so are you quite a guy yeah right now we got something you ever see this fuck Rockwell no I gave it up again with a punchline he said you know he's like 75 years old he's an alcoholic he needs a liver transplant he's dying and they go do you have any what's like your biggest regrets would you do anything different and he goes fuck Rockwell that's great yeah it's pretty good I love that yeah Disneyland classic guy good for him all right anyways you got a lot wow shove it up my ass if I come oh man that

is what you know we should do let me let me go with you next time we go to let's hang out we'll go to eat at that Chipotle and maybe she'll be there and we'll tell her the whole story yeah that's not bad but you're gonna tell her quiet cuz if anyone over here is they'll be like this I knew fucking Jackie's been hooking people up well maybe she'll hear this and it maybe she'll hear this and be like aha I mean I've had people hear this and and get mad at me but she might hear this and and you know we gotta get this maybe we gotta get you like Charlemagne the gods pot or something and talk about her well I did the show

once oh that's true okay now let me let me throw this in your your asshole and see if it makes you orgasm please by the way your stretch broke the internet yeah that was that was big I gotta do some more yeah I felt pretty nice I might do another one it was impressive you know what maybe I'll try right now yeah that was no joke it was a nice way to stretch it out yeah you should try it spread the asshole jeans might be tough I know I had jeans on for mine I'm not as a limber oh oh wow those jeans my first oh yeah my clits popping holy hell all right well here we go we'll try it it's nice though right you can feel your ass all spread

yeah mine's always dilated but yeah we'll call it pod man spreading but so let me let me throw this one at you and I think you're gonna this is this is something that might tickle your taint all right all right so four shows over the weekend and seven years ago yeah four different cities in four days which going to the airport four days in a row you want to kill yourself I've done it it's not fun it's not fun you feel like like ISIS you're like all right enough with the airports get me out of here you want to bomb this thing so I'm finally going home I did Ottawa to Toronto to Detroit to Pittsburgh to home okay at

least they're kind of a little the short flights but everyone is literally every one who is delayed I think one wasn't but everyone you know an hour an hour and a half but you're still like I could have slept or you know you're throwing off my schedule whatever I think the short flights they delay more because they're like it's only a half hour flight so push that one I think you're right I think you're right but still annoying because you get there you're like all right I'll be at the airport for 40 minutes I'll be at the airport for two hours whatever brutal so finally did all the shows and I get on

the flight and I look at the seat map or what do you call it the legend what do they call that with the seat seat map sounds right okay legend is pretty good you've heard legend oh yeah I am usually for the arenas and like live shows it's like on Ticketmaster when you buy tickets it'll say here's the legend and it'll show all the seats in the arena I call I don't know why they call a legend but it's weird all right sounds weird to say a lot like hey did you check the legend no one says that but either way so I get on the I get on the app and I go I'm in 10 B which is an exit road you know poor man's

first class or whatever they call it and I go oh I can pop up to 5a and be higher up Jerry's apartment that's right so boy this is painful I've been paying here a burning you got to get a nice sheet you'll feel good when you walk you'll feel it all right all right well the but plug is starting to fall but so I go up to 5a I'm like hey 5a pretty good I save you know that's a good probably 8 minutes you save just for people getting their bullshit out sure so I go 5a all right great take it get on the plane and I'm like oh walking up to 5a and it's right after first class first class is one through four it's a small plane

and I look 5b is the window and it's a lady with a huge German shepherd hmm service dog if you will anxiety pet I hate dogs well this is a big boy I mean this is Rin Tin Tin over here this is that this is that fucking dog from that Tom Hanks movie Turner and who thank you there's also K9 which was a big rip yeah it was a shittier dog and a shittier actor it was a Belushi yes the bad Belushi I remember the dog eating a pool ball at one yes yeah yes my memory of that movie he went to a like a biker bar and the guy went oh yeah and he threw a pool ball and the dog caught it yeah I've seen the movie 800 times sadly both of

them so I have a too I think we were probably you can look it up we were probably like 12 and 14 for those two films that's right yeah oh I thought that I got to run by it too about movies please okay you're the movie guy what are you what are you doing the whole stretch okay you do it and it felt like I bet that felt nice when you stretched like that did I do it you reached over to point oh yeah as soon as you did it I was like I bet that feels good very observant yeah okay yeah this is the downward hooch I think that's a half moon or something okay okay crescent moon crescent moon sorry we're all over the

map where we get through the moon over New York City what is it if you get caught between the moon in New York City there you go that's what you can do is fall all right man on the moon so I'm on the flight and I go German Shepherd now you know how these doubles these are two seats so it's her the German Shepherd in the middle and then me because I don't see no no no no there is no middle seat it's just oh but he's in between us I mean right between two people is this yes much room it's an armrest yes so you can't put the dog in the middle because the dog is 40% into my bullshit you know what I'm saying yes I do I'm horrified

yeah so I just want to make sure we're all clear here but I go oh my god I'm hungover I'm finally done with this this tour whatever let me just get to this chair I got 5a I'm gonna fall asleep and I look back to 10a my original seat smoke show in 10b oh my god I'm like oh I choose a hot shit I got this dog up here so this is let me let me recreate this is your plane seat okay watch out for the clock very nice gift we're never used this is what I'm dealing with so you're the dog I'm you you're me okay now you still got your seat here you're Kramer sorry sorry give me a cigar so you still got your seat but you're doing

this shit I wouldn't be able to do it I mean this is making me this is triggering me German Shepherd oh huge huge and it's nice it's every now and then I'll put his head on my my leg and kind of do that bullshit you know and he's cute and he's sweet she goes do you like dogs and I go yeah you know I like dogs and that's her way of being like okay so you're cool with this and she just went back to texting and I'm like this is insane and I'm just fuming now and you know it's building up where you're like I let people take advantage me I'm too nice I'm a pussy you know and it just starts going and I go here's

what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna sit like this and the dog be here I'm gonna go to sleep but you can't just go to sleep as a fucking beast next to you K9 I try it every night what is this guy thing happened here's how the table falls over I can't I think part of him must snicker every once in a while gotta be a snicker please so I'm like so I do this I get pissed and I just go you know what and I sit like you and I put my leg in her area and I have the dog between my legs wow and she she goes like whoa like her legs move and she's like what's going I go oh I just

can't get comfortable I can't you know the dogs in my space oh my gosh she's she's furious she can't believe I just said this and so she's like wow wow and in my head you know we want to be liked where we're children we're gay and I just I go I want to apologize now because I kind of made a I had a what do you call it with a kid when he gets mad you know yeah yeah I had a tone and attitude we got a tude with her I got a little I had a spurt what do you call that what a kid flips out a fit tantrum I had a bit of a tantrum yes so I had a bit of a tantrum and I realized that I was like that was a little much what I

did with the leg thing but then I said you know what it's pretty funny though I know I thought it was silly at least but I said you know what I'm holding in because I think I'm right here and I had a big guy on the left of me and I could tell he was rooting for me and I go I'm holding in I'm holding strong and she goes all right take the dog picks it up this is a huge German shepherd puts it on her lap and now she's holding the dog and texting in her lap well I'm terrified I feel horrible I feel horrible whole time like Russia the Germans have receded the Russian winter you're the Russian winter but I'm like

it's obviously she's doing this is some kind of like like an attack like oh this is what you want do you feel better now you big baby I've got a giant dog on my lap and in my hey folks Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by better help now a word from our sponsor better help sometimes you can fixate on a problem for so long that you never take the time to find a solution ain't that the truth it can be tough to train your brain to stay in problem-solving mode when faced with a challenge in life but when you learn how to find your own solutions there's no better feeling a therapist can help you become a better person solver better

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promo code Tuesdays at liquid IV dot com get on it I heard a door slam and yelling he was slamming all right he slammed I think I think he's got the door open he's also he's yelling on the phone a little bit yeah you know we gotta get out all right all right that's all wrap this up and then we'll all kill ourselves so she's got the dog you know it's a huge dog it's coming up like above her head and I just go oh shit this is so awkward it's so tense between us and I just say fuck it and I lay there and I just I pretend to sleep for like an hour and a half I'm just so uncomfortable I can hear the dog I get

I'm sure she's texting about me like fucking guy asshole dog hater piece of shit racist and I'm like and then we land and I got off the plane and that was it well I say God bless you these dogs they should put them in the overhead compartment or whatever also the Germans you know they're Nazis the Germans yes all Germans are Nazis you know right right who needs a shepherd I mean there's no sheep yeah no sheep uh-huh bad chef eat we have a lot of German gays I'm just getting love the germ but yeah she got off in a huff to like she kind of pushed everybody out of the way and she left the plane first she's like I have a

service dog I have to leave first so you're like oh this lady's very entitled and whatever I hope she never hears this no she's not gonna listen to this all right all right but it got ugly I mean it was tense and I pressed on I was like I'm not wrong here this dog is in my area I never agreed to this like you have the dog you're the burden you have to deal with it not us it shouldn't be on us to deal with it you should have to buy a seat yes you have I mean it's one thing a Yorkie or a terrier or maybe that's the same thing I don't know why these dogs that you pick up which I like I like those little like yeah they're

cute they're gonna get a little haircut you know but once the dog it's the size of a 11 year old it totally is totally that's why I was into it but it was just it it was huge it was panting and it was putting its head on me and licking me and all this so like I took a stand and it worked out but I'm sure she's at a dinner party shitting on me that's all right well I bet she's at a dinner party talking about it and I bet at least half the people at the dinner party are like this God bless that guy that's one of those ones you know when someone tells the story the whole time you're like I'm on the other person's side for

short I hope you're right but here's my thing with the anxiety dog the service dog the umbrella is getting look if you're blind God bless you get the dog you know they get you out of a well Timmy and all that shit lassie but this is just a big dog with a vest right you know like take a valley and take a take a Xanax like a like a fucking adult if you have anxiety but why do you put other people out isn't there's part of it it's almost like the marijuana card it's like everybody knows you don't need medicinal marijuana you just want to get the weeds you have to say hey I have this thing I think a lot of people just want

to travel with their dog of course which I just say hey blah blah blah but we could be by the way dog you're in dangerous territory here huh these dog people are crazy I know I got a lot of hate people gonna be like fuck you your piece of shit I got nothing against dogs but and look I told you I like juke in the system but now you're fucking with other people right you know with your case so nobody gets hurt it's a victimless cheese crime yeah this is my space is violated victimless cheese crime that's fun to say oh I know maybe that's a title or a long title you know victimless cheese crime is

cheese crime alliteration right now it's a mirror mirror on the wall hmm that stinks that's just long that's longer than victimless cheese crime Dave mirror all right what I hurt your feelings I don't care for that would have said it I don't care for me or mirror on the wall it's a good line in the pot it's not a good title I was at a lawyer shop which is pretty good lawyer shop that was brilliant that was one of the best things anyone's ever said ever history by the way somebody will email me and be like Liz fucking things he's the greatest for saying that literally just take anything I say seriously and

I get I'm not against dogs I like a dog I'll throw a tennis ball at a guy all day but dog is good dog is good what's the same I like fucking whales but I don't want one in my my plane you know you go to whale watch you like it's majestic sprays all over the exit room you're gonna be a little upset blowhole is a problem yeah I get you I get you all right so just it and it's a German ship if it was the Terry whatever Terry or a little Toto from Wizard of Oz you know let's take the yellowbrick home rode home when I say I met someone named Terry a picture a man or a woman man man interesting mm-hmm Terry goes

both ways goes both and now a lot of ladies are getting named Dylan and Billy there's a Spencer woman yeah that's no good Spencer that's a stretch I just I just heard about woman is Spencer how about Charlie Charlie's big top gun mm-hmm big on a lady now but with the trans world that kind of it could it could apply you wouldn't have to change your name if you transition that's not bad maybe that's the thought they're like I want to save them some time yeah mostly when they transition change their name just because I think they want to change their whole right it's all it's very weird how all we talk about is like

how many women are the same we're all the same but yet we're so obsessed with gender still like we talk about gender as a construct it's not real but we're obsessed with gender mm-hmm is that weird it's like it's both like manor you know men are scum toxic masculinity but I thought we were all the same I thought it it was a construct that's is that am I crazy I don't even know what construct means I don't know I think it means it's like it's all made up it's like right these old-fashioned antiquated rolls about money it's like a social construct and I'm like well well because it's not real some guy went hey this is

a dollar right paper I see so that's that's 20 of these right a hundred of these yes yes money is weird that we all just buy in it weird now that like you just have this is like a deeper wacky thing but you're like please just so weird that like all I actually have I don't have any money I have an app of my phone yeah that says I have this amount of money that's crazy and we've all just so weird what about diamonds that's just a rock that's shiny and we go this is worth eight trillion dollars and you're like okay what about this pebble that's garbage why was that way with baseball cards people like this

cards worth four thousand dollars like what's worth whatever someone will pay for it right right it's like if no one's gonna give you four thousand dollars it's not worth shit well that's why stocks are so confusing because they're like oh it's going up but I'm like I'm I didn't notice anything we're all the same right and nothing happened well the time is kind of like a construct to time is a big construct space and time it's not it's not it's 2 p.m. but it's it's not it's just whatever 2 p.m. then if I go over here it's 3 p.m. yeah so what the fuck are we doing so they they always say gender is a construct but then they're

like men are bad or women are great you're like what that it was not the thing but you keep talking about it I don't understand how gender can be that though because I may this is where I accidentally say something horrible exactly like but one has like thicker bone density and bigger muscles and a dick of overries and one of chromosomes that's not a construct I agree do they mean like the construct is like women girls like pink and boys like yeah that the construct that too but I think everything I think the societal view on what means like what gender is like yes like you could be born with like more

it's football girl cheerleader sure all that stuff yeah I say but I used to have a joke about it like about how I saw a woman yelling gender is a contract but she had a shirt that said the future is female so you're like so you don't even believe it right now but we don't have to get it now and now we're doing a bench a pyro pocket yeah I just never sometimes you hear a term a lot and then you're like I'll guess I'll figure out what that means another time yeah I think the more you let it slide and then it'll eventually go away right you know like sometimes you're like okay lat lat tinks I'll learn latex I'm one of the

good ones then three years ago like oh sorry that shows what I know that is a casino in Vegas I think I lost everything at latex latex I think the lady who stopped me in the subway her name was latex but she but but my point is it you know it's like it went from colored to black to African-American to person of color and then and you're like so we're back in color I don't know it's all kooky color TV I don't know what's going on but I can read a thing that said lat next like 97% of latino I heard that I heard that too but they don't care about them which is ironic so I don't know but yeah we're in some naughty

territory now the water's getting muddy here well then it's also weird that these things are all happening and we're not allowed to discuss it and figure it out that's also strange yeah it's all pipes I mean wacky time there's so many pipes oh I got more pipes than Super Mario over here what is this one what do you got I hogged it with the German ship no I appreciate the ship I had a similar thing though all the same emotion I'm identifying with the emotions because I was in the worst place on the planet Syracuse Syracuse New York hell on earth which is cheap I get box the mall is like crime-ridden I did a little

Google you have to be 18 it's like a titty bar you gotta be 18 plus to get in I'm not joking you walk in the mall it's like a big sign it's like you gotta be 18 or have six parents with you yeah yeah there's a gun there's a shooting like this gunplay on the lobby every ten weeks shooting stabbings bombs that was me and I walk in and I was like hey where's the star back I gotta go to Starbucks and the door guy was like I'll walk you there and I was like oh no I'm just gonna get a tea and he's like believe me I'm gonna walk you that's hilarious that the mall is crime-ridden you know because it's so cold there that

the burglars have to be like it's gonna get to that ball then I can then I can stick them up it's it's bad it's crazy and just a depressing place yeah it's only the mall and the hotel is like a it's a nice hotel but it's a mile from the mall I literally was like jogging to the mall to go buy my coffee I do the same thing and but yeah I went to the Starbucks in the mall and I think it's this quiet quitting thing maybe or so awesome I don't want to get into the mobile orders because I keep tweeting about it and people I'm getting all this shit hate the mobile it I'll just talk about it for a second because a lot of

people are like fuck you just join the mobile order but I'm like I want to live in a society yes I believe in looking people face to the face I like dopamine and serotonin and hey how do you do here I'll have my coffee please the mobile thing is is the end of society here not to mention the people they order it they prioritize the mobile so when you go to Starbucks there's four people like me and three other people standing there waiting for their drinks and there's literally 65 drinks all dewy and wet this receipt stuck to yes because people do the mobile and then they show up whenever so you're like all of these

beverages should have been made after we get out I am here yes and I'd like to go into a shop and say how do you do and I go to my Starbucks they all know me hey Joe they like it for me it's part of a society we're living in a society yes we have interactions we're human beings we have social norms and niceties yes and face-to-face with the blowhole yes I hate that first of all so I go there and they just forget about my order it took me 18 minutes to get a tee and a plain bagel and this is 945 there's literally nobody in the fucking hole making mobiles they forget whatever the hell yeah and so finally I had to go up

and go I'm sorry I'm waiting for a a tee a grande a green tee yep and I went a little passive aggressive but I had the same thing I want to be liked but I was like it's water in a cup I'd like water in a cup yes it's because everyone's getting the vanilla bullshit with the sugar the strawberries there's literally berries in it I'm like get the berries out of here they should be on a bush ate a berry I just want water just give me water here here you don't put a bag just hand me the bag and give me the water yes yes water cup steep so then I get the tee and then I stand around a while longer and I have to go back in

again I go excuse me I'm just waiting on a plain bagel wow and the guy goes oh I got it and then because he forgot about me he gets it to me he hands it to me and it has the number of the time on the good good time so construct the same thing I'm like I have that thing going in my head I'm like I should be fucking furious how come people are like return shit the yellow people I just sit here like a fucking pussy yeah yeah yeah we almost had to bleep and so I say I go I point to the thing I go 18 minutes for a bagel oh you said that I said this and the guy goes well no first sorry I didn't say that first first I said come on man I

was like you gotta give me I go you gotta give me something and the guys like give you so I go a sorry anything and that's when I point I was like 18 minutes bagel in a cup oh boy and the guy went I'm sorry I wanted to fucking grab his two ears and smash his face through the display counter wow and you sit there and I'm few like my heart is like pounding and I go and sit in the food court I'm just like eating my big at one point the top late piece of the bagel fell on the floor because I was like just fucking spreading it all like this shit and you're sitting there you're like do I

leave a review should I fire bomb this yes I take a shit and throw it at his face and then after a while you just have to go I gotta let it go what am I gonna do yeah what am I gonna do unless you're gonna shoot up a school you got really no option you could leave a review but that's not gonna satisfy you and this is what bothers me is going back to society norms or whatever all it takes is this I'm so sorry yeah that's it I'm so I we forgot it's like amazing how the power of language yes you can just recognize and I contact like I totally blew it sorry man so sorry and then I feel like a wave of like no sweat

yeah it's just not recognized you took 18 minutes that's why to get a cup of tea yeah and a bagel wow you forgot about me but I know and I'm sorry sorry that happened to you but you gotta you gotta realize this is why people do the mobile because look there they see you and they go this guy's fucking getting side capped or what do you call that a sarcastic by the the the worker and then 18 minutes later you drop your bagel on the floor this guy's already been back home and sweatpants but my argument to that is you're like so I gotta go do the mobile but it's like no he should fucking be better at his thing I agree I agree that's

ideal because then it becomes it's the same with like Twitter you just have a person with a fake photo and a fake name being like you fucking blow fuck right right because there's no face-to-face there's no there's no we're not living in a society I agree I agree it's all this mobile shit delivery and yeah fucking we're all gonna be just with VR glasses on at some point not seeing each other it's sad like that's why I had to take the phone away from the lady I'm like she's like I never see you and I'm like let's go to dinner let's let's eat dinner and she's like like what are you doing I'm here I know so you did the right thing

but this guy's a real cum-guzzler be here now but I hate the mobile I hate the mobile I want to I want to be in the play hey are you doing great great yeah I'm with you all the way like even people people order McDonald's delivery and I'm like this is the double you're eating McDonald's and you can't get it right it's just pretty sad but that's people go towards convenience whatever is more convenient they'll go like if you got a sign in to something you're already out we're doomed we're doomed man and you're in Syracuse mind you yeah like your bagel is on the floor in Syracuse yeah it was tough tough tough weekend I was

straight from Royal Oak like Tuesday's galore I mean it was like it was hot yeah but it was so she was a lot of gays came out sold some shirts it was very nice the staff was very nice so I don't want to just make it sound like whatever but no I won't go back me there I had this at Chipotle yesterday I'm you know when you go into Chipotle and like here we go you start getting the mouth water you see all the goods in front of you and then the lady goes boop boop boop couple receipts and she starts making 79 tacos and it's the mobile and then some queef comes in and sweatpants and in a clan hood and he's got a comp state

on him and he's like all right thank you and I'm like yeah I literally just had the same thing in Royal Oak Saturday night twice went to Chipotle we go in there I'm the only one in there nobody's in there yep and I go up and I'm just waiting that nobody's helping guys like one minute there's no right they're literally like we're out of cheese we're out of rice and I'm like why is it taking so long I'm the only person here we go through it and I see behind the register there's like two people slaving over shit it's mobile they're just like oh my god they're like they're in the weeds oh yeah but not not literally

not a soul is in the place yeah I might have instant people want instant what about this upcharge for mobile I like that because you're going anyway you might as well just talk to the fat lady behind the counter but if you want you want to it's gonna be five more dollars I bet they probably just pay it well here's the thing that's so frustrating too and I think we're we're off as a society is people think they're too busy and part of it's because the phone so everyone's working all the time including us not a great point about comedians he's like we're always working and never working that's what makes it

so difficult because it's like you're working and that you're like writing a job you're not like working working right bouncing around you're thinking of things right but there's no turning it off you don't clock out right even at one in the morning you're watching a movie you're like maybe this is a funny yes yes so it's like you're always on and always off at the same time but good it's similar to a lifeguard yes you know you're just sitting there all day then someone's dying and you're like well I have to save them right but they people they think they're in heart like one guy message me is like yes some of us have

jobs we're not all just sitting around we don't have time but I'm like but you have time to tweet it haha literally sitting on Twitter people act like I think they're like crazy busy but so much of their time is consumed by just looking at their phone and I know I know and they consider that busy if you put your phone down and walked into a coffee shop you might get a little more enjoyment out of life and I've had jobs at a day job a cubicle I've done all that shit podcasting you have to be in the zone for an hour straight there's no you can't go what would you say again you can't you can't dilly dally on a pod

I've had jobs you're dilly dally and then you work for like a minute and then you dilly-dally for like 30 and then you work for like four minutes and then you dilly-dally for like an hour so you got time it's tricky but by the way this is gonna be one of our biggest apps algorithm because the comment section is just gonna be like fuck you you guys suck that's wrong let me say this wow that was like six instruments and one that was fun can I play a fun one for you cuz you know me I like to record my farts on the road I think I'm gonna like this one send me these yeah I should be sending while I'm saving them for here

okay okay save them okay this one I don't want to know the ending here we go I think you're gonna like this cuz this one's got a lot of a lot of layers wow that was like a beat like I gotta cut these together yeah and and really make something out of them because there's some fun it's also fun to think your ass hole went open close open close open it really was nice classic you know motes fart here's silly double fart let's see how this one that was like an interruption some some cute hip kid out there has got a really start be bobbing and scatting and then sampling these send me the files I'll put them on I'll put

them on patreon yeah they're pretty fun that's good some of them I don't know if it's a set or if a fart like this one says fun light hot I'm like is that a fart or what that's a fun game show for the big show hot tried new failed I mean that could be a fire you could have shit yourself at the end Hollywood great good weird new that could be a fart yeah yeah whoo all right fine good whatever I like the idea of a fart as a set you don't need you don't need new paper you don't need a new notebook you need new underwear like this one hot hot hot new must listen I mean that's a pretty good fart you muster point Dexter hot hot hot new

must list well do you have this do you label your sets because sometimes you go through your sets and you have to because I tried to do a bit about this I'll write notes to myself like I hate I obviously hate myself sure like it's like bold all caps like listen to this fuckface I do the same thing if it just says like good set stand I'll be like I don't need to listen to that yeah but if it's the I will always write new shit or listen to this right listen to this thank you that was like a skin like a little yeah like the road was wet all right well we covered a lot here we're gonna wrap this thing up wrap it up but

got the free dinner got the old guy got the I just want to just want to say thanks oh I just want to say one more thing and then I'll wrap it up I want to say thanks to Ottawa Toronto was amazing Detroit was killer and Pittsburgh was but that was on me was a Steelers game and they were hammered and I wasn't my best but I want to give a shout out to Mark and Katie shit I might have this wrong but huge Tuesdays Katie hit me up and said it's my husband's birthday will you do a show at his party and it'll be a surprise so is it Monty's Trittoria on McDougal so it's a block away from my house wow good money have you been there

Monty's Trittoria it's an Italian joint we got to go I mean it's like you walk in there it's like good fellas up on a guy's throwing dough there's all these old ladies and it's right on McDougal we walk by at 800 times that might be the one that Val and Mateo are always talking about Italian place they're always talking about it's classic and then some old guy with an apron and you know rag on his arms like upstairs upstairs you you the party party yeah yeah so they hide me in a stairwell and I can hear happy birthday to you whatever and it's a bunch of like upstanding nice people citizens huge Tuesday and they go now

for the entertainment but I you know a creek out of the closet and I do a set for 20 minutes and it's awkward but it was fun and it's a sweet people we took photos after and they're like how's the hog how's Joe's herpes how's the silent re you know how's the house coming along it's all pipes so sweet people thanks for that everybody and yeah Iris yeah come to your party sure I know how to make a balloon a lot of money yeah where are you gonna be fit all right well I got boy at the big Uncle Dale benefit a lot of people are gonna come out that fun always a fun show I got the Hartford funny bone November 4th and 5th

that'll be depressing also but come out to that please for God's sakes and then where else so I got Madison that's the big one December 8th through the 10th comedy on state Madison come from Milwaukee or wherever you come from crown and then I'm doing the Vermont comedy festival that's up in Woodstock I think that's Sunday December 4th holy that'll be fun and then Omaha funny bone December 16th and 17th and tickets are already on sale February fucking Denver comedy works I think it's February 8th through the 10th and then just announced wow just booked is Salt Lake City wise guys March

31st April 1st another great one got some big stuff coming in April and that's gonna be exciting and subscribe to my YouTube for God's sakes and check out the patreon the page is fucking sick we're adding a ton of shit on there tons of new shows yes people love to give it a good we have a new show everybody's talking about tough for us but good for you for the cup of coffee for a month yes the cup of one the price of one cup of coffee fuck the African kid help us out 18 minutes you can get it four bucks yeah here here we're about to do one right now there's all kinds of give it a go go

queef it up must queef TV extra shit live apps it's it's a banger and Chuck organized the dick out of it it's all laid out for you we're spoon feeding you Jews I'm gonna be in Orlando this weekend tickets are not great and I'm missing skankfest so Florida come out put your mouse ears away fuck your dad and come on by well I think that's already passed though oh when is this oh shit you're right okay well thank you Orlando great time time beautiful city I'm at the angler theater in Iowa City then I'm at the Rococo in Nebraska and Lincoln and I'm in Minneapolis what else Seattle we added a show Portland Vancouver funny

bone Albany Buffalo back to Toronto for another gig we're doing one more and then we added a show in Boston at the Wilbur New Orleans New Haven Billy