Tuesdays with Stories! - #476 Kook Deville

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

The boys open up by criticizing kung fu movies and gushing about  Jon Lovitz! Joe talks about meeting Natalie Portman and Mark talks about  meeting Parker Posey.  The guys talk about the women they find hottest.  You won't BELIEVE the names that are thrown around. Did they mention  Roseanne Barr? Janet Reno? The homeless lady from "Home Alone 2?" You  have to listen to find out! Mark finally gets a good haircut!  The boys daydream about starting a comedy night AND a comedy club! Who's  the manager? You guessed it: the homeless lady from "Home Alone 2." She  needs a job and we're stepping up to help her out! It's Tuesday, folks! Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories Sponsors: - Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/Tuesdays for 10% off your first month. - Support the show and get 20% off with the code TUESGAYS at https://www.SheathUnderwear.com

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be chasing my radio is spitting at me hey did you ever get in the kung fu I never give a shit about kung fu like watching it yeah people love these 70s movies

Jackie Chan I'm out get out of here Jackie Chan we're talking about 70s Bruce Lee Bruce Lee that gong shit this channel East was silly said the n-word and rush hour quite a few times is that right oh big n-word out of Chan no kid Chan wow but yeah he he's funny and then he acts black and the other guy acts Chinese Chris Tucker and it's a barrel laughs oh I never watched rush hour oh you would love it I mean as a kid this this cynicism did not start later in life pre any kind of film class or school I'm talking like fifth grade I'd be like this is shit I'm watching you

know the shoot them ups and the powwows and the whoop-de-do's and this get out of here with this crap you didn't like the the wrestling and the the punching and the action I hated the thing of like this guy wins can't lose no one's gonna hit him he's won't be shot 300 against one don't worry about him he's just like kicking bullets away yeah yeah I just like people taught I like you know dialogue they shot sunny on the causeway he's dead oh you had to have your drink for you know some talking yes I'm with you I like a talkie as a kid I was a tard I you know seven years old I love deadly

pray commando blood sport but then when I was nine I went yeah yeah yeah it's hard I remember it like my uncle day it was only four years old that may be like you gotta check this out yeah oh yeah and being like I don't know what about Fargo you like Fargo now we're talking I mean that was a little old I was 15 or whatever but yeah some of it's fun you know but I mean I love red dog did all this being said red dawn I love like now that's real that's a movie though that's a film as it could happen yeah well I mean it's like six high school kids two of them girls beating off the Russian beating off beating the Russians I did

it a Republican chick I called a red dawn but yeah it's the action movies they're real flimsy it's just fun to see a car blow up you know welcome to the rock they're gonna say Francisco and you know fun must egg and blown up shit I hated that I hate it all of it there's some action I mean die hard I like that's fun that's great first blood I really like a lot oh yeah but that one felt realer this period this crazy army guy in the cup but I think we might have talked about this maybe it was on the other podcast but and it's kind of like my point about Maverick like they're if you watch first blood again for a first

time in a while they're comically mean to him oh really like you scumbag they're like spinning in his face and shit they're like fuck you they're like kicking him in the ass and I'm like what would people I know Vietnam vets had a hard time and I'm sure somebody will email me and be like you don't get but I'm like watch first blood it's a little over the top they always do you know you watch point break and the new guy comes in like look at this fucking homo I'm gonna skull fuck your mom in front of you here's your schedule like Jesus Christ who talks to people like that at the police station right you talk that movie I love

I mean stupid as hell but very fun oh when he throws the dog at him and he she he tries to catch the guy and he shoots in the air that's always fun yeah good stuff and Laurie Petty I thought was so hot free willy and point break forget about it you're saying no to the petty petty cash I guarantee Chuck tie breaker Laurie Petty hit us well Chuck you know he'll fuck Hugh Laurie petty I don't know if I could picture Laurie Petty oh get out of here their own she's kicked leave her own she's not hot now that Gina Davis looked pretty good Madonna's Madonna was the number one you know Madonna's my number one all

time but my beef with the league of this come from never heard you say that what well with all things considered pound for pound PR because she's in the sidewalk given the thumb the like a virgin video the like a prayer video the sex book the fucking leather every now she looks like a bag of retards I would love to see that bag where can I buy that is that Costco but back but Donna pound for pound sexiest woman of all time yeah she just oozes sex it's just coming out of her in the cans and she had an interesting face you know it wasn't just a traditional hot she was like a fun-looking whore and she was sex

accessible sexable sex for us when we were kids it was on TV right there and the crosses burning and the black hair oh last year she released like a 3d scan of her whole naked body including like this video of her vagina it was bizarre I'll send it to you I just found it like two weeks ago and I was like what the I gotta get VR glass it's nuts shoot it on over but though my beef with the League of their own great film of course and I'm sure I brought this up many times the sea where Rosie O'Donnell's like some of you's are gonna be going home and then she whips a baseball yes at Gina Davis's face who catches it

and they're like all right some of them are gonna be going home and then their friends now but you're like wait so she didn't catch that Rosie O'Donnell just broke a minute of felony like just just ended her life yeah like a bull shit that's true that's a great point those are the things in movies that if I was on set I would be like wait I'm sorry can we what what is this yeah yeah she gonna kill her gonna knock her lights out immediately when you're okay with her we're supposed to like this character right she's a psychopath you've established that this is a psychotic character yes a little over the top mean

that's that's the pattern here but these movies I know we've talked about it here before I keep saying this but when that lady pulls her hair back and love it goes he oh he's so good when you're 11 years old and John love it's one of the most underrated comic comedic minds great history great comedy actor never not funny yeah you've never seen John love it's and been like not funny I think it's stand-up I would say is rough well I never saw it don't watch it you'll keep the streak alive but same initials but man when that movie was great that's a Gary Marshall or Penny Marshall okay so when

Madonna goes to catch the ball and she falls into the stands it comes out with the guy's hot dog come on that's cool how about the long piss long avoid the clap Jimmy that's good advice yes and then I said it to you and Sam every six months or so but the it's supposed to be hard if it wasn't hard everyone would do it the heart is what makes it great one of the great great speeches in history oh yeah thanks what would you do for Tom Hanks is cocking your mouth I give three four hundred bucks easy for his time but I don't know I save you Ryan's privates right in my ass but a lot of people don't like him come on I've

heard name names I've heard some well his son for one jet I don't give a fuck about his son look he's jealous apparently I mean a Chet's like hey yeah he's America's fun you know loving guy but he ain't a great father that's what he said oh shut up he's Tom Hanks he's saved private Ryan he's saved private Ryan that's a big beef with them too no kidding oh yeah we have a Chet Hanks as a maniac he seems a little unhinged he's a rapper yeah yeah he's got some problem but I did like when he went up against that Z-Way chick that was awesome Z-Way well so he does a lot of

like reggae tone bomba clap whatever the fuck shit and she was like don't you think that's a little appropriating he was like I don't care and she's like well what are you saying woke people in kick rocks he's like exactly and that was it oh that's nice and she left him alone well I like him a little bit more but you don't fuck with Tom Hanks I watched the terminal the other day not great not great but you got Hanks I'll watch Hanks fuck my mother for a couple bucks I would love to see that holy shit he is a bachelor party too his old funny stuff was good big as a man why but I'll tell you what I heard stinks is this

Elvis nonsense yeah it's a little much he's not great with accents we all hand-ready you know and uh catch me at your past the bottom Louisiana the accents aren't great yeah but that one I let it go because it just seems silly and fun but the Elvis one it just was over the top yeah that guy stinks who the guy that makes that bad lerman yeah really get real what's very stylized you don't like the the Romeo's and Jules the great Gad well I was watching on someone else at first of all I got a couple reviews just the trailer and then I saw it the guy next to me was watching on the the plane yes yes and I was like

this is a bag of shit you could tell just from a peripheral well it's one continuous thing you know it like just moves it's like a music video ah it's did you watch it it's swoopy that's lerman oh very swoopy very style but the kid who butler whatever his name is he killed it oh all right well I'll check him out he's good he's a hell of an Elvis but I'm butler I think it was one of those things where they couldn't get it made it was one of these 20 years in the making and then Tom Hanks said I'll do it and it got made oh yeah maybe he phoned it in wouldn't you love do one of those guys I'll tell you what it's

being made yeah you got it and they like oh my god I remember being an open miker and Louie would just tweet I'm at the cellar tonight at five I'll pay for everyone's drinks it's free we're gonna film the part for the TV show oh I went to that five times and I remember being like imagine being able to tweet because you know I would do open mics or or we'd start our own bar show and you'd be out there papering flyering whatever you get two people maybe he could tweet from his shitter fill up a comedy club that blew my mind yeah that's pretty good pretty good I'm sure a Chappelle does that or Kevin Hart you know yeah nice I get that

meal don't you people want to see other people who's your all-time hots people always ask me I'm never ready to answer ladies I'm never ready with celebrities and so I have to really think about that Emma Stone really is way up there for me got a couple of googly's if you ask me those are some big old eyeballs there Google's a very popular website that's true I give it a goog I love Emma Stone Natalie Portman I still love my top five what a classy classy coos matter no just for a moment from Arlene's grocery wait a minute tell me whatever you tell me why I'm sure I told you a million times I don't remember this fresh it's been so

long by the way did you know the one of our all-time clips the gay guys in the shower sure several people have commented Joe told Mark this joke at stand-up labs yeah really I think you got problems maybe it's all I think you got mental problems I think I block things out like the the molesting the bed wedding it's all blocked I think when you podcast all the time it falls out of your head I guess that's why I'm always saying I think we talked about this before I know it all feels familiar but a joke you think okay this will trigger so this will click back in but I no clue yeah well you got some problems over

there yep I'm senile what the fuck was I talking about speaking on us girl Arlene's grocery Natalie hit me with I was leaving Arlene's grocery I saw her and she was with a dude who I think was maybe her boyfriend husband whatever and they were staying in the corner and they were kind of doing this they were kind of like oh wow doing this and I think this was pre-google maps maybe and so I walked up and I said let me get this right let me get the order right was he a hunky guy he was whatever it's the memories foggy now because Arlene's grocery this had to been 12 years ago that was a hot little spot like can you

can you give a Google on who her ex a Bose have been I think he was Israeli really turned off white guy but they were talking I think I this is what happened first I overheard them saying like Houston Street I think it's this way I kind of overheard an eavesdropping I said but Houston's up here oh and I go oh oh thank you and I said yeah and then I said I do this multiple celebrity stories where I said Garden State changed my life and she goes all thanks and I go it didn't change my life I don't know why I said that but I liked it and she's like aha she laughed all right and she was like thanks thank you and I was like

hey thank you good stuff and I was going the same way oh that's awkward but then they walked so I just kind of like did the stand there I'll walk back to Arlene's grocery pretend I lost something yeah give him a little little buffer room but you want to connect so I said it's changed my life but I felt good that I caught it you caught it because she was like oh and I'm like this what am I talking about it's the film that was fun that's a deer ring that's fun it's quippy it's cute yeah so but she was there and she was a little is that right little just a little midge how about that yeah Kim Kardashian is tiny I mean

she's a tuna can because her ass goes out to here but she's short she's got to be five two interesting who else you got but Parker Posey's another one I met her so into that her I met super cool I went to the Amy Schumer premiere party for the TV show and she's in the show a bunch and I sat down and she sat next to me and she's got her program or whatever the hell and I went so how many times you in the show and she's like five and I was like what about you and I said to and she goes yeah and she was playing she kind of like we had a little thing she's cool she's good with some mutual friends and I think she's a bit of a nutty

kook I could see that she seems a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs but she's you can tell she's down earth and she's fine I think she was on Louie as well yep and okay enough said but yeah it's fun when you're you got a thing going that the the Jerry Seinfeld pickup line that changed my life what am I getting to change my life but the one where he said you know it wouldn't know what to look at me but I could run really fast yes that set the course for every woman pickup encounter in my whole entire life it's pretty good yeah you just say something fun random silly yeah because you want to go your whole thing is going

with something killer you got to be James Dean you got to be smooth you got to knock her off her tits and then you say the dumbest thing and it's actually way better it's pretty good it's kind of like that I was on my way to buy a speed boat yeah that's another big boat yes yes you know what the other big one was for me and the ladies was the Ferris Bueller scene where he's running he's running home at the end and he runs past those girls sunbathing in the back yard yes time is of the effort that's what clock is ticking and he still goes back as hey I'm Ferris yes that was huge so good so good that song though it

wasn't that song it was but but but but but but but but but but but but but but hi yeah yeah but the kids are on the trampoline yes so good what a film and look it's hard film changed my life that was huge 1986 John Hughes I've seen that movie more than any other movie and Roger Ebert said it's his favorite movie come on I swear to anal check it out give it a good wait what were you gonna say huh you had something move forward to say a thing oh it's hard being a guy hitting on girls all that shit well we have tinder now but back in those days you had to walk up to a fucking fat chick and put down your your mustard and see

if she liked it yeah but now or then when you pull it off and you look so cool like he did doing that they'll never experience that these ladies right good point that's gotta be tough well now it's yeah I think that's that's a trigger now if you come up it's a nice pair of tits for eyes they go what the hell and they call the cops from what I've read I haven't been on the scene in a while I've heard that too and my whole YouTube is men and women can they work it out women are struggling men are killing themselves women aren't dating women are bored women want kids but they say they don't eat that's a whole thing and I'm

like what what's going on with them the guy and the gals I don't know it's not pretty out there you're on the scene I had a very specific crazy story this weekend okay but you gotta name a girl cuz I'm just I got another girl whose name I don't know in days to confuse she also is the Dorothy girl in swingers Joey Lawrence is that her name wait Joey whoa yeah oh Joey Lawrence she's the one boy in swingers she's the blonde who plays Judy Garland and Vince Vaughn's talking where she's in the back of the trailer oh you're thinking of you the name you're thinking of is Joey Lauren

Adams Lauren Adams but she's also in dazed and confused she's look up just look up dazed and confused swingers you know who I'm talking about sure I see a movie a million times but I don't recall the bro she says who's your representation back east yes yes does he meet her at the casino yes yeah and she he goes all of it Glenn live it a Glenn whatever actually she's not the Dorothy she's the other one she's the friend that Vince Vaughn is with yes yes it's not Dean of Martin is it yes Dean of Martin that's it I don't know Dean I know Dean yes because I always look it up after days to confuse yeah I

don't know this yeah what else is she in Dean of Martin that's how much swingers fast lane leaf yeah and a max of violence yikes not a one show of law and order yikes but also days to confuse right yes yes yes I'm gonna pull up some images pull up a Dina Dina has shit yeah I don't know she was the best Jennifer Aston friend oh look at this hold on I got to see this Dean oh wow I put I hit news that whatever happened to Dean of Martin oh there you go oh yeah that is a good-looking lady there she is oh oh interesting she's so good and swing as she's great in both both films you know I got a weird humdinger for is obviously I

got some hack choices Angelina Jolie in her prime I'm not even attracted to her what I think it's stunning interesting looking different hot interesting sexy nerd yeah she's got a uniqueness that other people don't have oh she kisses Billy Bob that feels it feels attainable I'm like oh I she'll kiss me if she'll kiss Billy Bob there's six comedians that I think are hotter than Angelina Jolie that's crazy I'd like to meet four of them but she's on there Portman I'll give you and I got a weird one for you I'm throwing this out of dick feel you throw a Dean of Martin I'm throwing out this one can't wait Jamie Presley oh yeah I forget who that is hot as shits funny as hell sexy she's in

all those not another teen movies and I think she dated Simon Rex for a hot minute she was like the main character in Ringmaster the Jerry Springer movie yes yes she's got a like a trashiness for sure but what's her name again Leslie Nielsen yeah that's it what is it oh Jamie Presley I know I've seen her if she ends like to see her naked gun but yeah okay she's she's in not another teen movie she's wearing this jean onesie and I've it's burned into my brain I'll never forget this jean onesie this lady right here yeah something about her yeah quirky she's quirky oh who you know who's ridiculous Margot Robbie how did you know it's gonna say that I knew you're gonna say I could look at you in the eye and I could tell you popped up in the thing somehow

I can see Margot Robbie I mean you put on uh when wolfs cry wolf wolf of wall street oh you cried wolf wolf of wall street when she's doing the thing and first appears oh dude I mean she's like sickly hot with the with the the the scene where she opens the doors and she's naked and then how about the scene where he's like staring at her clam and she's holding his head pink heels oh I went online tried to buy pink heels like that and they came and they were like shitty and I had to like hide them Sarah's like what's this and I'm like I don't know I was like don't worry about that but they were for you oh it was bad they look like they were oh I got the wrong wrong shoe yeah oh I'm also gonna throw out Salma Hayek yeah love you got a weirdo

dick over here no I love Hayek no Park Opposites better than no no should Desperado years get out of here Hayek and the other one yes the other one but they're all Penelope Cruz oh she's very attractive as well she's beautiful I love the Latina oh yeah like that area I love Ariana Grande I think Ariana Grande is beautiful she's very but a lot of work done I hear so that's that kind of takes her down a peg and you can she could peg me anytime but yeah what about lark Voorhees she's pretty yeah very pretty but she's not an all-timer I was no no wow he's not an all-timer lark normand who hold on let me think of some other because I can never have him off the top of my head Jennifer Lawrence Jennifer Lawrence is very hot she's got a dopey

fade like she looks like a goose to me I've seen her in person she's very pretty I've talked to her she talked to me about how hot Larry David was and I said I agree I'll I'll blow him before you but oh I know who I got it you gotta go back you go if it's that dead on or is that dead on I'll tell you who the hot-est is yes all-timer two oldies but I got another wacky one for you a one princess grace kelly grace kelly oh she's very hot very pretty so hot and like 50s hot with the dress and the thing sure and civil shepherd inner prime is the hot that's acting over Madonna over everybody civil shepherd inner prime no sex appeal she's pretty she's a pretty lady but there's no

there's no vava boom but put it right at my ass civil shepherd last picture show taxi driver for I get about it I don't know good good face but she's got no it she doesn't have jizz coming out of her eyes but that's what I like I like a pretty because that's the appeal of sex is to see a pretty woman conservative lady in a dress naked going fuck my ass you oh you know it's hot to peel and you're gonna hate these don't take a sip of water because you're gonna jizz all over your asshole Sarah Jessica Parker okay so hot in a sex of the city the first years yeah I know I think she's hot oh you do yeah hocus pocus with the cans coming out so hot sir with Sarah Michelle Geller she's very pretty but but Parker's got a thing she has something and

you know as hot as the gal in uh in glorious bastards the jubro oh Melanie Lorenz yeah yes she's a beauty she also is in my top two or three I always forget about her okay I made the top two I don't think she's she's Jewish in the movie in the movie in the movie Melanie Lorenz yeah yeah and then she's the way she's smoked she's got style oh I like style she is also an all-timer for me absolutely what she pokes her finger and puts the blood lipstick that's a film you know that Pam Greer has nothing to sneeze at either no I'll sneeze at her all right I love a PG 13 all right all right we've gone far enough I love Pam Greer great great hook nose pretty good jugs Chuck you want to throw someone out hasn't been thrown out there I love Stacy Dash from Clueless she's pretty

beautiful but a maniac Alicia Silverstone Alicia Silverstone and when she first came out that was the first person that changed my that was like an old joke of mine I said uh I said uh I mean not that joke but I said Spider-Man came out on DVD I had no idea who's gay there you go and I kept updating it Harry Potter that was uh that was the early days yeah but um I didn't mean it like hey that's mine drop it drop it just remind me that was like that was one of those bits early on that you're like I got something this is huge um there's a lot of hot as fucking here there's a lot of overplayed hot though like Pamela Anderson is obviously beautiful especially like 90s Pamela Anderson Jenny McCarthy yeah but they're they're at this you know they're like overplayed they're like

playboy playmate they didn't age well that was uh short money those two at least Alicia Silverstone yeah the the Arrowsmith it was 94 95 so I was 12 13 that was the first woman that like stopped what I was doing where I was like yeah yeah I couldn't believe like it was not comprehensible yeah yeah comprehensible whatever comprehensible how comprehensible you're right yeah how hot this I was like enamored with her yeah it was the first thing where I was like I have to be involved with with women yes crazy to me yeah yeah I don't have that with her I again she's very standard looking like I would go dash over silver me too but you know everybody's too each is anal but oh shit I had another one I lost it Alicia oh oh I know a guy who matched with Alicia on

Brian I'll tell you who later I met someone that hooked up with her once oh well he showed me the photos of her currently and it's quite a different situation well you know time is a fickle bitch clueless was 92 or 93 yeah great 95 95 maybe I think so Drew Barrymore in Wayne's World was super hot she was in Wayne's World as like this Swedish desk person oh yeah it's weird like for a couple years she did these really small roles she was also in like one of the Batman forever as one of two faces like girl right she had like an angel in a devil yeah and she's so hot in those roles I don't find her attractive really I don't like the the cutesy bootsy you're doing the same you're doing the same face different Lawrence I don't like that sandlery oh she does a lot of that goopy

doopy she does she talks out of the cybermouth you know who I thought was silly and I've never got into was Cameron Diaz I think she's got a mask she was a little thicker and then she got thinner and a little bit like duck lips very ducky her mouth goes from you hear ear to ear hers goes from door to window yeah it's huge mouth yeah big mouth Charlie's angels though she's really really attractive sure I think Lucy Lou is attractive me too mm-hmm okay well we gotta uh we gotta get out of it we've just done a full but I think this is interesting this is what you need this is algorithm call in on the YouTube type in who you think why we're dumb get that algo going it's all about the comments isn't the comments the comments yeah that's how I think

these other pods blow up they got debates happening yes you know that Xena warrior princess was something really I see I go live Tyler over over Alicia oh live Tyler's great oh yeah I like a brunette a bit heavy no heavy she's tall you hate tall I hate tall but didn't she like you think Liv's Liz Taylor what are you thinking about Liv Tyler didn't she get Arizona Tyler's daughter she's in I know she isn't going to Tyler Morrison yeah Tyler dirt didn't she blow up like a little balloon well I'm talking you know that Aerosmith video here I'm not talking about yesterday but she looks a lot like oh yeah yeah she's hot oh yeah Empire Records oh yeah she was a real cup of jizz yeah she's got something oh she's got something all right all right hey folks Tuesdays with stories

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me but he makes a mean pair of underwear this yeah you got that right I'm only kidding I wasn't offended U.S. Army soldier and Tuesday Robert Patton knew there had to be a better way to keep his dick from sticking to his leg and sheath was born here by the way I just got a few new patterns at what do you call it skankfest and I think I got one on now look at this sexy ass whoa purple and purple over there that turned me on a little bit the way it pulled off the front of my dick rub oh yeah love a rub that's nice there's your standard black you can get that a standard black or you can get a funky purple like the head of my cock you okay babe legitimately the best underwear I've ever worn in my life it's all we wear it's silky smooth they got stuff for the ladies

perfect fit keeps your dick and ball separate we genuinely love this underwear oh yeah and we're always grateful to old Robert Patton go to sheathunderwear.com and order with promo code twosgays here here that'll get you 20% off your first order and she's 100% money back guaranteed that's sheathunderwear.com promo code twosgays get sheath underwear let them support your balls and you're supporting a veteran while you're at it so go do it and uh back to the show yeah let me let me throw this in your uh sphincter and see if it hits the walls sure please I'm sure it will so I got a haircut looks great and a hair cut yours those two actually oh thank you I was noticing yesterday in the video guy shot oh geez what are you getting all right joker here sometimes

sometimes so uh you know my last uh nightmare haircut store I went in the guy gave me the quick cut he hated me he wouldn't answer me I was furious I cried a little yeah so I wanted another haircut and I figured the wedding's coming up so you don't want to get a cut right before the wedding you want to be snippy you got a peak you got a peak peak it yes yes so pike's peak I go back and I like this barbershop I just hate that one come guzzled Nazi guy the uh the uh they want to go yes Enzo he's a fucking guinea uh right off the boat and he's he's a cunt so I go I look in because I don't want that guy but there's a nice guy in there that I love this guy's a sweet Italian douche he's good looking he's got a great head of hair

nice guy Eddie he's the good cutter this guy's bad cutter it's a guard cutter so I look in and I don't see the douche no douche all right so I go I'm going in I walk in I go hey hey can you take a walk up and the guy goes yes yes the nice guys I go yes yes yes hang coat up they're all right uh right out of the pasta fields and I go sure sure okay and he goes boop boop and he hits the hits the chair with the rag you know they do oh I like that love the whip tell you what your woman to do smack the bed around a little yeah smack so he smacks and I go baby I feel like a little lady I'm all excited I got my guy I like I'm gonna get a nice snip and then he goes out comes oh Italian cunt new guy I get the new guy new guy so not the not the bad guy not the bad guy

new guy who doesn't speak a lick of English ah possibly good guy possibly but my thing is a haircut is a lot of communication what do you like scissor up top on the side I like a you know a hard line in the back you know the clippers around the ears all that's out the window he don't even know what clipper is he thinks it's a sports team in LA so I'm like I was what and Columbus is that right Columbus Clippers what what is that that's the Yankees affiliate or at least it used to be now I think it doesn't matter well what does that mean affiliate they go oh they got the affiliate here what is that the minors that's the minor leagues yeah I love a minor okay so so I go in I'm like fuck I had the hunk I had the good guy and now I'm now I'm back in the saddle

again with uh chef by rd here yeah fresh fish yes so I go uh all right seizo seizo clippo clippo primavera and he's like I got it I got it oh see see 10 000 lira so I go all right great you don't understand the exchange rate but I think this guy he did a good job because very nice thank you but his lack of language made him focus he was he was all in like bobby fisher on my ass he was you know scissor hands you know he had the magnifying glass he's doing this shit he throws it up in the wind and he sniffed it he licked it and it was a solid haircut because he didn't speak the language yeah I think that's good well that's the thing I mean I had a guy an old Nazi I mean I definitely told this story before but he'd just stop and talk about

Trump for like 10 minutes standing next to him and talk to you through the mirror right just taught and you're like I don't care if you give me a mohawk I just want to be out of here just get me out of here fatty so I that sounds good to me maybe I'll check this guy out no chit chat no bullshit small talk he did a solid job and I tipped him handsomely and he was like oh my god oh thank you oh grotzy grotzy and I got the hell out of there you know it's interesting what do you think of this observation there's no like classic old white American barbers in New York it's all I feel like it's mostly Russians a lot of Russian and some Latinos and you got Italian guys yeah I got Asian guys a place in midtown that I go to I got another group over here

that's all uh Dominican-y Puerto Rican-y yeah there's no like I am Bill I'll be cutting your hair yeah I don't want to say none because I did get a haircut over here that was that you get a pollock every now and then but it's always that eastern block you know yeah you never get it's like uh Jimmy failure remember him of course he used to have that joke where he's like I used to drive a cab and people would always get in be like oh you don't see a lot of Yankees driving again you know they would always they want to say white guy but they never could but it's same cab driver it's used to be a lot of honkeys yeah it's interesting well it's weird you know you go to these I was in Minneapolis very white town you go to the airport the TSA is all white and you're like oh yeah that's

just how it was they just every white people did all the shit jobs too and now I feel like whitey thinks there's some they're like above this right you know like you I've heard these people say on the news well if we're not gonna let Mexicans in who's gonna do all the landscaping it's like poor white people that's how it goes right I guess they're like those people don't want to do those jobs yeah nobody wants to but yeah but that's kind of a subtle racism well if the Mexicans are here who's gonna do it like everyone else right that's how we've done it for the last you know a couple hundred years yeah I guess so I don't know I don't know nothing about uh I don't feel like I'm scaring you here no not scaring I just um like I guess so I don't know

all right I don't know much about the economics of the thing yeah people are people people will do the job people need money doesn't matter the the color but I feel like whitey now has this weird thing we're like well I'm white I can't I can't work at mcdonald's but don't we have well it doesn't feel like we have like a wacky job shortage everywhere everywhere I go they're like we're understaffed everybody nobody wants to work everywhere I know it's kooky I think it's the pandemic everyone got money so everyone has money and they're like my job sucks I hate it I'm not going back there well it used to be like I got a job I'm going in for this job at the factory and it's the worst job ever but you're like I got a job and now we're like ah I don't want a job

well that's probably we have no factories no more we don't make anything we don't make anything it's all digitized yeah it's bad news bears yeah these robots are taking our hijabs under under understaffed everywhere but it's above my pay grade I don't know people talk about the economy I'm like you got me well it's like this kid you meant this movie kid movie kid you got this kid who wants to make a movie I don't know if I'm supposed to say that oh boy oh sorry but yeah he may be making a movie okay well we don't have to get into the deets but that's just a path now like I know a guy he works for Huffington Post he makes Huff Poe he makes a solid living Huff the Magic Dragon Huffin paint makes a solid living but he's like I hate it I gotta go in at nine every day I hate

the commute I hate and he's like I'm gonna start my own I'm gonna start my own horseshit where I do investing and I help people and that's just that's totally possible now and now he's working from home and he made it work Christian Slater in Huffs ah remember cuffs yeah sure sure not great yeah boy did Chuck look disappointed with that one yeah yeah we all looked over and it was you know when you you ever have that thing where you you move your head and someone's already established staring at you angrily yeah that was tough like here here try it so look over there and then slowly scan over that's what I just had I can't even look back over there I mean it was it was on me here do it again all right try this oh isn't that tough no I'm not like he hates me something's

up you know I love you we talked about how we love you yikes I didn't know you guys were doing love texts we didn't know I'm on couple I didn't know that either but maybe it's your phone it's one of your friends all right brutal I look I do my huffs spit well it's not great I'm not saying it's great that's it I'm tired I'm tired yikes by the way I'm talking to fucking AdSense I've been on the chat since before you guys help us out for we're trying to get our YouTube money it's like nightmare no I drove back to New York last night I drove from Rhode Island at 1 30 in the morning to New York so and then I have to get up like two and a half hours before we meet so I slept for like five hours oh god you know it's a little tired oh shit why was the river you're crying just came

right underneath me you felt bad about a bomb you gave him shit for me giving you a bad no I'm trying to say I love you and then you went back on him that was telling you the stare you didn't see this stare it was an established stare all right it was like this I'm watching this fucking I'm not gonna nah all right good to the chat all right no yeah check out our YouTube we're not getting paid for it these AdSense cunts are fucking us right in the pooper no they're great we love we love AdSense you're doing great AdSense so easy feel free to sponsor help us out we love to have you it's a lot of YouTube money the the views have gone up we'd like to get a cash out is there a worse feeling in life than having earning money that you can't seem to get yeah that is tough

you're like oh we got four thousand dollars just sitting here and you're like well can you just I know give it to me I had that was serious radio they're like we have all this money but we don't know how to get it to you and I'm like we need your routing number and I just start fainting I don't I can't handle anything like that assistance need the assistance there you go let me tell you about this thing that happened yes please this was unsettling you know we're in New York it's gotten a little spicy they got the guy by the way they got him the shoulder onto the subway guy they caught him you see that yeah yeah that's uh the buzz of the town who knows what's gonna happen with the bail reform and everything but he might get out probably will they might get hired of the rams

or something but um there the I didn't read the article I just saw the headline chavone said because chavone and I are always checking in on these psychos the hammer man you saw that guy cooks of hazard yeah so they uh the headline just said his family's known for years that he's a crazy he's a menace this guy's like a big menace the family I that's a squeaker little little guy cute cute the family went now that the family they they never want to rat out the uh the kid you know they always go we didn't know he had guns he shot up the whole school right but this guy I guess they were like yeah he's horrible oh why don't they uh you go report some people you know good put put your kid in jail I say that's my advice to you put your kid in jail I don't think

the reports work people report nothing happens and the guy Holmes the uh the Denver little tin Colorado guy he called him up and was like hey I'm going cuckoo over here really and they said all right take it easy and then uh no no no no no no no no no no no no Batman yeah um yeah so he he that guy you know I'm not saying hey he's a swell guy but he tried sure like hey I'm a little nutty here he was like Travis Bickle right and they didn't care the cops they don't do much well I think uh this this might have been like the the ward the whatever whoever you call war I don't know this is a cop this was like the nutty hotline yeah whatever the kook hotline god I believe all right so anyways yesterday I'm walking around everyone's on edge I'm down the village you're a neck of the

way mm-hmm and I don't know how you live there it's just it's spicy on anything it's getting a little nutty the idea of waking up and getting my coffee in that area oh it's time just the shit I hear out of my window all night I'm watching tv and it's just wild it's it's kook central yeah toville so I was walking through I was walking through the neighborhood with Sarah and we bump into cq which is always a blessing love the Quinn he's coming from joe's pizza he's got too large and he goes hey come over and have some pizza and I said no we got to get the thing let's see what's it going to a birthday party I think he just does his hour at the fat black and he bring he's one of these bring pizza to the staff guys I want a real New Yorker he could

go out and get the dollar slide but he goes and gets the primo pie yes Keith primo I mean I used to go over there all the time to go see him run his hour there'll always be pizza there it's a nice little trick by the way I'm gonna do that tomorrow Monday night seven o'clock swing by get some pizza I'll be there just take one I feel like he'll key in on you all right maybe I'll go get one put on some blackface hit another one typical Monday yes so we see him and you know Collins like my angel on the shoulder this guy really is my main my main squeeze so I see him it just puts me really puts me in a better place hello mr. list hello boys so he walks away and I go oh great Sarah and I across in the street and then I see a guy cigarette bald head couple tattoos

on the head oh and you know we get recognized quite a bit sure leave it so Tuesdays I see the guy looking at me as I'm crossing the street and I thought he said I only signed up and I you know your brain is always making connections so I'm like oh patreon we got a patreon there we go with a skinhead do and he's gonna say I only signed up because it's something so it's faint because he's mumbling because it turns out spoiler he's a crazy person sure but he's like you're never gonna get fucking laid you demoralized you fucking demoralized you fucking pussy oh boy and so he goes you fucking pussy wow so he's reading your mind and I was like all right and it's hard too because Sarah was you know fresh from a haircut she's all made up going out for the night and I'm

like yeah she blows me you know you want to be like I got this you know it's dime right here yeah and uh I don't know what he's I missed most of it and so did she but he was quite quite quite intimidating is this a walk by or is he in front of you where are we at he stopped this is right on the corner your old apartment oh you're over there that little island there across from the new and by cbs starbucks no the one train where are you the old place he said no the old old place old old above the italian restaurant that little island there it's right across from joe's pizza oh father dmo square yes yeah so I'm crossing what we're just gonna give away your address here I'm crossing from uh moving near minetta lane got it on that crosswalk

to that island I know it will and that's when he he's walking north we're walking you know southwest and then he stops why kind of slow to hear him and then luckily we kept walking but he was standing he stood there like this he looked like bam bam bigelow whoa and he was really had the cigarette between the fingers yeah one of the smokes is scarier sure I don't give a shit about exactly but he's like yeah you fucking pussy wow and I wasn't like I was like yeah I was just walking normal walk across the street and I had a hot dame what is it about that mug of yours it draws him in it's the the teeth the glasses the forehead stuff that is breaking these guys down I don't know I mean those are all the things that make up a face so I'm not sure but yeah you got a point there but it just

makes you unsettled and then you go and you walk around and then you're like you have this thing of like well that guy is still out and about I know the rest of the night you're like you know we need I just figured it all out guns maybe but you got the skinhead pussy cigarette guy you got the hammer guy at McDonald's you got the slasher you got the subway juke these guys need to interact with each other and cancel each other out wouldn't that be nice if this pussy guy bumped into hammerhead over at McDonald's and they went at it he was like your pussy he's like oh I'm a pussy bam bam cigarette in the eye boom they're done I got a good place for this all to happen jail ah I want the old prison

courtyard that was like you're blowing out a candle I blew up my back um yeah like maybe they could do it in uh you know and Rikers might be a nice place toss them over that fence and say have a good time hammer man yeah we got the yard put them in the yard the yard is good the yard longest yard prison yard backyard yeah um yeah so uh you know you got the kooks the loose and again for the folks out there yeah the real oh no that was a two parter that was a that was like a double that was a double dvd box set thank you what is that windex what is this easy hang easy hang oh no I'm stuck what'd you do I feel like a like a lady at the mownay museum I'm glued to the walls as in a protest oh that was that was a two tone whoo yeah yikes that was like too far

that was like the prison yard you had to get a skinhead and a you know MS 13 yeah well whoo okay but anyways as I was saying for the for the bleeding heart foe I'm not talking about down on their luck I lost my job to spare a quarter now these guys are aggressive and violent I'm talking about yeah bipolar violent street folks with nothing to lose who also are now aware that if they go to jail they won't be staying there I know I know it's bad and the problem is these guys walk around all day I think they're bored out of their tits they don't have a phone so a fight would almost be something to do it's entertaining the easy hang is stuck to my uh it's hanging it's an easy hang hey we're an easy hang how about that yeah all right tough hang but uh yeah wow but anyways

and that's my that's my hood yeah and and and some help too I'm not so that's all get to build a big brick place with the people in the white coats that give them a series of pills and go you're loved you're enough but uh you know as as Bill Mars said it's a disservice to both groups sure the group of the the people that are need help on the streets and the people that are just trying to get from one place to the other so we're both we're both losing we're both losing so so maybe you know you've heard of bum fights oh yeah maybe we gotta bring that back televised it give them money you know you win the fight we'll put you in a nice house you get some meds you lose the fight we kill you yeah the thing that you might run into there's a few people out there that might

find that in humane you know run into a big group of pussies that are like hey hey yeah we can't be killing people well you know it's in humane is living under a bridge for nine years and then doing smack I wish they were under the bridge that'd be nice there's no bridge in the village burn those bridges but yeah oh that's triple he's getting to be uh problematic I don't know what I ate yikes looks like Chuck's doing the costanza where you pretend to look upset so it looks like he's working any any movement over there they won't let you talk on the phone it's all chats I hate the chat uh-huh and they're like they're like which public account do you want it to be this one or this one and they send me two

lists of like 12 numbers uh and I'm like I don't know the difference between those two they're like you have to pick one just pick one I was like okay I'm like I'll guess I'll pick this one they're like well then you gotta change it yourself if you want that one uh and I'm like I don't know the difference between them and like well which one do you want the brutal is one phone call would clear it up but they won't do it I asked I said can I please call someone on the phone and they said they don't like let you do that you must have we must have connections of somewhat like Schultz or somebody who like dominates YouTube that can really all right we're not talking about serious money here either yeah but it's enough it's enough that I would like it it's substantial now let me

throw this at you because this is a positive neighborhood story okay now first off I'm getting recognized left and right in my hood and it just feels good you feel like I may I'm a New Yorker I'm a New York guy who's getting recognized that's a good I feel like Jeter out there sure yeah it's fun so uh I walk out of 7-eleven on west third right by uh right by the v you and all that sure I walk out I got a banana a cup of coffee and explains what's going on over here what I mean the farts and the shits oh yeah a little potassium and caffeine so I walk out this two they got two cops outside of 7-eleven because 7-eleven was the notorious hobo let me get the door for you sir do you have $400 or whatever and you go everybody pays with card we don't know what's got 20 bucks

whatever so they put two cops out there I walk out Asian cop Hispanic cop I walk out they're leading on the on the cruiser and I go Mark Norman I go uh oh a cop saying your name is not a good feeling okay and I go uh oh and he goes comedy I go oh hey I high five the two cops I gave one of the ho ho did that shit fun yeah love that the cops like us gotta have the cops on your side then I go I'm gonna walk around the neighborhood a little drink my coffee have my uh banana and a garbage truck goes by guy throws a cannon jumps on the rig flies away and goes comedy wow that's not the garbage man I got the whole blue collar the garbage man that's a good feeling love a garbage because that's what you need you need someone to pick up your garbage and you need a guy to arrest

the coax that it should exactly I remember being a young comic and I walked to Joe's pizza with a tell and this is you know seven years ago it's one of those late night four in the morning you just don't want to lose a tell you just like talking to him sure and all the cops outside eating pizza we're like Dave yeah and I remember you're like wow look at that they love Dave that's so cool he's a New York guy the cops love him that's a celebrity to me that's a real comic and now here we are yeah it's very excited that's exciting that's exciting you know what'd be even better is that without the hammer man it'd be nice maybe you can get it in with the cops and go hey maybe scoop up the hammer man MC hammer it'd be nice it's hammer time and that guy's out again I know

hammer man's out I think he might have busted again but that video is insane they're beating the shit out of him he's just sitting there I know this folks hammer man look I don't know if he's called hammer man we might have made that up McDonald's hammer guy he's they're punching him in the head he's just taking it and then he pulls the hammer out and then he goes into his backpack for a period of time and nobody goes anywhere yeah everyone's just like well let's see what this psychopath that just took nine punches to the face without reacting is going to get out of his bag and a hammer is interesting because a gun would be worse because he could just go boom boom boom boom but a hammer is like well at least it's not a gun but it is a hammer and a hammer's terrifying

yeah hammer's gonna really hurt a lot hammer please hammer don't hurt him yeah so can't touch this that's what he said when the uh the repo man came and took all his shit because he didn't pay his taxes all right well he was the guy that really tried to take care of everybody and this wasn't doing the uh he was a bat boy for the aids remember that is that right he was a bat boy the Oakland athletics I didn't know that yeah poster prize fame I think pri wow yeah that boy you know that what was it MC hammer was a bat boy for the aids oh I like it I have no idea yeah shuffles out onto the field that's cool my sister was like obsessed with MC hammer so I had all the year she had the or my brother had the big pants those fluffy baggy ridiculous polka dot retarded pants

the very pants that was returning uh-huh those were fun days those 90s uh the 90s was good I'm watching this documentary now called fat Tuesday I'm not familiar it's phat right and it's uh it's about the black show at the store back in the 90s comedy store yeah it was like the first you know they have chocolate sundae on the fat Tuesday was the first one okay and you know two-pot would show up snoop dog and all these big black celebrity sug knights in the audience magic johnson and you know it's uh young chappelle all these young young brothers and it's fun to see the black comedy maybe we should start something maybe we should start a cool thing sure you got hot soup but no one gives a fuck about that now sadly now let's start a thing where it's like the thing you know I would

love to but then you got to do stuff and start things and write down and you know connect with people I want to work the assistant or something there we go it just always seems like uh fun to have the thing we don't we don't have it anymore the show it'd be nice to have a show the cabin show back in Boston it was the great and secret comedy show the staple that that's where everyone's at the crown jewel but I think what happens is we're older and there's a lot of division there's a lot of splintering to happen there is division yes cabin was everybody everybody you'd see gaffigan there then you'd see my drunk ass then you'd see Hannibal it was uh it was a mish mosh it was really uh nice a mish telemosh ah there you go mosh pit but yeah uh that that is sad

it'd be nice to have a thing but it started in the belly room and it built up steam and started selling out so they moved to the main room then the industry started showing up now they're all getting in you know Guy Torey got put in uh American History X and Joe Torey's and Poetic Justice it was fun to see and then you just skyrocket finesse Mitchell said this I got SNL from that show like super cool the uh the origin story the Wayans brothers would show up and good times here we can get a show what's the room where's the room now maybe the view you make the room they won't give you yeah we gotta but you make the room the room but you do need a room you need a room low ceiling and a light and a thing yeah yeah you need a light maybe we should

you set the stand get a stand thing going sure give us the room I'm annoyed with the stand with that that entrance people congregate and then they talk oh when you're on stage over the window yeah yeah it drives me crazy well especially now because they lock the green room door I know I know there's doors and then the waitresses poor waitress have to like excuse me I gotta plate a hot fries here and uh you want to watch the show but also talk yeah that's tough they need one sign up it says like hey dickless keep it moving right but what the hell do I know yeah it'd be fun to have the cool thing where people pop by and they come by it'd be nice and you're like hey Natalie Portman's in the crowd tonight how about that yeah that would be fun remember whiplash I'm insane oh you

see Sarah Silverman show up I don't know where you're like how about that people early in the those are older days whiplash people would be sitting on the floor I know stage and then it would be you couldn't even walk in the back it was standing room and sitting room yes and it started at 11 p.m. on a Monday it was and it was sold out every week that was that was a magical time yeah that was something I remember going there you know I'm 25s 26 years old I would go there and be like tomorrow at work is gonna be hell because I'm here this show won't end till 1 a.m. then I have to get back to Brooklyn that'll be 2 30 I'll get to bed by 3 I gotta wake up at 8 but fucking it's comedy Molly we everyone used to go to Molly yes that kind of ended that ended too yeah met a lot of

ladies at that Molly we that was a fun time fun time magical time the journey the journey not the destination Chuck looks like he's been just shot and shit on they just there it sucks because they they just told me to do the same thing again that we've got rejected for three times and I keep saying this is what we did last time they think this is what you do wow we keep getting rejected what do I do and she's just like talking around it you know let's be a glitch so what yeah well I guess we can figure this out off Mike yeah yeah how we doing on time 57 oh we better kick it in here yeah yeah the last hurrah because I mean this was this was one of our best and then I feel like we've gotten we're just we're just reminiscing which is still fun no no no but I think we got

a really jizz it in yeah all right let's do top three hottest men oh I got my number one and you're not gonna like it but I might this guy is just classic handsome square jaw tall rugged sorry Henry Cavill who the fuck is I knew you weren't gonna know you know Henry Cavill is a Superman he's in one of the Mission Impossible movies is a bad guy he was really tired I think we might have the same exact I think we have but we like hot man yeah Brad Brad Pitt yeah better than pit pit pit stop not my cup I like this I like this uh classic American pit I get it pit is hot we get he's a hat it's hack hot hack hot hot he's hot hot he's hot hot and he's still hot by the way he's still ripped he saw him in uh something about Hollywood or what do you think

you're so clever with your cable cable stakes pit rules I'm just saying why who gets my dick tickled bit good Kiefer Sutherland no you didn't see him at the Emmys oh my I'm telling you in the touch he's a one you got to see a one time specifically with the cigarette with the Emmys playing pool I've seen the pool pick I don't know no pool but I'm not I'm saying playing pool I was there at that bar in LA with you no yeah you were there upstairs downtown LA I can't remember what was that riot fest that was riot fest first ever 2012 wow that was weird to name a fest after riot nothing good is it coming from a riot that's a riot that's my go-to comedy club the riot house I even think about that yeah where the hell's the riot house I'm saying that would be my name

that was one of our patreon questions at one point right right the riot house how about this for a comedy club name welcome to the club what that's Dave you know people say like oh you know when they go hey you know my dad you know yeah yeah join the club oh welcome to the club it's literally called welcome to the club because that's what people say you know hey I got diarrhea yeah welcome to the club pal yeah two two stretch too big stretch yeah they gotta shorten it to something it's a little long welcome to the club I thought you were saying it's called the club which feels pretentious no no no the club that's what you put on your car steering wheel yeah the club swingers is great you know as good as club soda that's that place in Montreal I love that name

club soda because you get the club and then sodas bubbly it's a good one yeah that's a cool place club soda huh dance order I see he's cool all right maybe we should open a club you know that's a lot oh you gotta order peaches and cherries and lettuce peaches maybe not peaches you need cherries for the the drinks you gotta have a lettuce bar you need inventory well you know my story about the you know 13th step and stumble in and all those bars is like a series of bars say owner they got rid of oranges hmm because they you know everyone they have the IPA with the orange or harpoon blue moon and they just did the math they were like who's not gonna drink these drinks without an orange we're spending thousands of dollars a year on oranges so they were just like

just get rid of them that's business and every once in a while a guy will go up and go have a harpoon he goes where was my orange they go we don't have oranges and he's like but what uh and they go that's that's it that's the end of it there's no that doesn't know there's no one else to go with this conversation so they go all right yeah I'll take 11 maybe that's the kind of thing it's like analytics and sports those outside the box a little tweak changes everything and all of a sudden you got extra money that's what we gotta do we gotta tweak tweak our tits we'll get rid of Chuck that'll uh that'll add some money but uh I read a stat bad time to pick on Chuck joke and Chuck I read a stat similar thing American Airlines took one olive out of their salad their

house salad like 10 million jillion dollars a year they saved or whatever wow one olive yep so there you go it's kind of like uh Todd Barry's great joke about fugazi yes that's a great one you know the band decided years ago every every ticket would cost five dollars for life and he's like you gotta think one of the band members would be like guys I'm four let's be artists but uh how about this I'm thinking six dollars I'm thinking one dollar per show times 300 people at a show times 50 shows a year equals I don't have a roommate when I'm 60 that's a funny bit great but why you pulled that out perfectly yeah he's a good good comic a lot of moving parts in that bit great comic this is how much great hang not an easy hang this is how much

of a Todd Barry fan I was he had his record his cd the back of his cd is of is he's wearing a red shirt gray jeans black shoes and he's got his foot up on a speaker and he's holding the microphone like that and I stared at that for hours whoa isn't that sad I just stared at the bad I was like this is so cool and it's just a photo of him like this I remember going to fye working at fye just going to the comedy section flipping through all those albums and be like oh it's something but old that the stand-up brian reagan stand-up comic and you just look at you just look at track listing and think about your track listing yes it's like an uh almost famous is at it where he's just going through the records and he's like wow touching them the who holy shit that's how I felt

yeah same all right all right well this is a fun one this was up down over out weird roller coaster of anal well where are you going to be there fatty uh I don't even know when this comes out now we got nine episodes in the can just next week next monday next monday night no his special won't be out by then big surprise coming bleep that we're going to cut it out ah who cares well you know either way right yeah it's coming out yeah yeah it's gonna find any tits I will be in Hartford this weekend funny bone please come out that's a tough room I'm selling t-shirts for God's sakes come bring some cash I don't know how to take anything else besides cock in the ass come to that uh December I think 16 and 17 I'm in Omaha Nebraska December 8th through the 10th

I'm at Madison really hoping to sell that one out and then uh you know subscribe to my youtube subscribe to the instagram all that shit I got huge dates coming in 2023 oh shit guarantees that scare me so please be a fan because um big things are happening it's very exciting so subscribe to my youtube get on the patreon chuck is just working his tits off on this thing so are we I might add and um a lot of a lot of stuff on there it's all organized tons and tons of shit it's a great time to be on there where we're yes sailing towards some crazy number we're going to do something in the dark or after dark yeah there's like 250 ish bonus episodes that are exclusive on the Tuesdays of stories patreon that's a lot and the strangers by the lake

commentary is up with video and audio and people are I got some nice tweets about how fun that is yeah tell them what the guy said who some guy said that we're the best or something oh I did a show in Iowa City and a nutty comedy fan came up said I'm a patreon for everybody I spent all my money on it and you guys have the best one it's the most diverse most eclectic most options most backlog too we go back years with this con con come guzzling Nazi so check it out get on it you know what I miss out tell a friend I'll be a new haven Houston for one night at the secret group uh Toronto again Boston Philly Nashville Honolulu so a lot of fun a lot of fun dates we'll see at the wedding praise Allah give them hell a lot of good a lot of good specials out there Hanley's

Phil Hanley special check out YouTube forgot about that Arie's coming out soon Stavros uh you got Andy Sanford has one oh I love Sanford November 15th glorious time to be a comedy fan yeah I know some of the best count we're in a boom baby Brian Dorfman owner of zany's like I've never seen it like this wow and he started 92 all right folks sorry about the farting we'll see in hell watch out for the kooks praise Allah