Tuesdays with Stories! - #485 Cod Couple

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

Mark and Joe start breaking down the locations in Boston. Joe calls for some questions from the audience, so they talk best celebrity  flubs and most underrated/overrated physical features. Suddenly, Mark has a bizarre stomach attack in the middle of the episode and runs out  of the room. He returns and the guys can talk about the  biggest regret of their 20s, and to kick off 2023, Mark and Joe close  the show with predicting upcoming celebrity deaths! Our Stuff:      - patreon.com/tuesdays      - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories        Sponsors: - Use code STORIES at https://mizzenandman.com - Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code TUESDAYS. Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800- GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1- 800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MD/MI /NJ/ NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. VOID IN OH/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Free bets: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. $200 issued as free bets that expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. No Sweat: Valid 1 offer per customer per day of NFL 2023 Wild Card Round. Opt in req each day. First bet must lose after opting in. NFL bets only. Paid as one (1) free bet based on amount of initial losing bet. Max $10 free bet awarded. Free bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms.

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy cut out that first part we want to fuck that lady that everybody knows cut cut yeah I don't know Nancy Reagan she just did it to me yeah sure she lost a tit what cancer now she's lost her life and tits oh she

died great book the life and tits of Nancy Reagan it's she died yeah she died I don't know six months five years ago I can't remember apparently she was the queen a given head do you hear about that I think I heard about that I heard about that from you on this pod it was big headline news headline you told me Nancy Reagan was good at head and eggs were the best food or the worst food I can't remember best food eggs get on it every time I see your eggs new food that's the best oh yeah it was yesterday well I'll make an exit but yeah eggs are great I had a heart boiled every born no kidding oh yeah and that's my go-to

stealing at the Hudson News I was just in Madison Wisconsin at Ian's Pizza overrated and we ordered a little side Caesar I'm all over the salad now you know new man you guys aren't gonna recognize me soon pizza pizza I'm getting reconstructive surgery on my tits and face hey Reagan another great book so we ordered season salad lady put a hard-boiled egg on it oh yeah that's a cop that's what I said Bob yeah he had caught on the cob that's no go Cobb up and down in the water Cobb and weave Tony Clifton oh you name Bob what's your middle name up and down

in the water it's gold it's gold but yeah you can't put an egg on a seas an egg on a salad I was with I was with Wayne Matt Wayne and who's like a vegan so he went up against the oh yeah but he'll eat pizza he's built like a shit house brick he doesn't look like a vegan he sees a tank he's all push-ups and you know I think he's like he's got kind of a big yes barrel a barrel yeah he's got a cracker barrel which by the way one time Rana and said him and Matt have the same body and it's a little sensitive with Matt yeah Wayne's got

foreskin so we're already off but yeah a lot of push-ups from Wayne which I was doing all the push-ups man my elbow is a creaky I'm old not good you got a creek and a crack yeah you got a stretch you know what I eat is a little cod liver oil cod liver oil it's it's it's the best thing for you what's up there with eggs everything's the best you're watching tiktoks every day it's good for the joints it's good for what ails you you take a little cod liver give it a goog it's like motor oil you put it right there on the the old tin can and it helps you the joints and the the hinges I got the fish oil someone told me to get

the fish oil that's not as fish cod is fish ah fish yeah the cod couple keep fear we'll be the cod couple that's nice Mike pond get on it how good is pond by the way I gotta give a shout out to post everything and I tag it I just posted a thing right now it's us with the way so this is you mark and Shelby which is pretty funny it's a big horse did you see it I posted it a little hurtful I'm quote Shelby if you're still listening I'm quoting somebody else but hey I miss Shelby in a good way and not in a bad you know Chuck I'm not this is not a there's another with a Chuck yes two things can be true yes exactly miss

Shelby and hate Chuck my father's gay and it's all pipes there you go yeah so get your cod liver in there I take this the the the pill so you don't have to taste it yeah I got the pill too but I heard I haven't taken one yeah I got him in the mail and I just look at him go up because I heard it makes you pussy in your mouth smell yes yes big pussy stench I won't let my lady have them but they uh there it's dirty fish jizz so it's it's a creating okay I'm gonna take one today it's supposed to be good for the cholesterol the heart the ticker and I've been doing this intermittent fasting I'm gonna faint in the middle of this but

oh wow you're doing intermittent I'm doing intermittent I'm doing I'm eating salads up the ass oatmeal all over the place I haven't touched a french fry since I went to the doctor that ain't easy because they I went to McSorley's the other night they put those fried potatoes right in the middle of the table and you got to eat them his fries at McSorley's oh yeah that's a new development they got food there wow you didn't know that well I haven't been there in ten years oh yeah the big ten I'd say top three bars in America oh it's the best the light and dark yes yeah I love that yes separate the

colors and then they give you two mugs or they used to so it's a lot even though they're like six ounces it's seven bucks they give you two mugs but it's half foam so you're really getting about a half a beer with two mugs am I crazy is that new development new in the last ten years the food maybe they were one of these places that was like no food beer only well I went there back in the the heyday and they had a leak soup potato leak maybe I just have a bad memory I mean make sense that my memory of that place would be bad sure tuned up I go there once every two weeks I love that but I go to New York comedy club I go

over beer McSorley's McSorley's his first class they got the big wishbone up there yes World War one World War one Wow and they're grandfathered in with the what do you call it the board the health board ah they're allowed to have there's all dirt and shit on it because it's been there for a hundred sure they get a pass on the health board they're like you can have this filthy dirty wishbone because it was supposed to be when the boys came back we make a wish but some of the boys didn't come back of course because of the flu and the guns make a wish so the wishbone is up there and it's a must-see if you come to

know it's full of tourists and weirdos and drunks but it's fun because you go in there and it's a bunch of college kids doing this shit and you could snap your fingers and it's it's 1908 yeah it's the same shit exactly unless you swear then they you say you know the f-word and there's a couple browns in there but I also you know sometimes they're sitting there just reading the walls I'll just have a drink and read the walls it's all these newspaper clippings I saw one it's a bunch of ladies going like this an old newspaper yellow tinted and I go to read this women were allowed in in 1970 wow yeah

that was the first time they had a lady and and there's a woman doing this and I read under it's like hey this is cunt of the year she's Barbara juju she she's a feminist whatever interesting the last bar to allow women was in Dorchester the eerie pub wow or chest a master's daughter chest ah oh yeah she was it's over there in the fields corner now how far is that out from from bean town well that's part of Boston you know it's like I heard in Boston is that it that's a tough one that's very tough yeah because when I did nicks in 1984 I think I was with you you know I was way hacky and I'd go hey to the door guys like what's the

shit box area that I could say that I'll get a laugh and he said Dorchester there's plenty in Boston but yeah Dorchester these the Emerald Isles where I my first paid gig ever was in Dorchester and it was like this old Irish bar but it was the last of the Irish bars because it kind of became a little more gentry not Irish I think yeah yeah well I went to you know is it what is it's not so how Southie Southie gentrified as fuck crazy great you go down there I was with Bolger I was like oh here we go I'm gonna see some white kids street fighting and maybe a snap in West Side Gang or something it was all Lulu lemon and

juju anal it was brutal it's unrecognizable I told you I mean so E.J. Murphy my pal shout out to E.J. great comic great guy E.J. B. J. early 2000s it would go and this was like just a few years after Goodwill hunting which started to bring tourists over to the L Street Tavern and everything myself included and not a tourist but you know what I mean I'd be like let's go to L Street and we would drink there all the time and it still had some some bark on it oh yeah and then most recent time I was there I was doing Laugh Boston so I walked down to Southie for a trip down memory asshole and I'd literally it

sounds like I'm joking I hear through speakers I like my chicken fried cold beer on a Friday night and I was like what the fuck is this and I came up on like a court like a Astro turf courtyard where like young people with skinny pants we're playing the cornhole and there's like pin the wheel on the donkey or whatever the fuck it's called what's it called pin the tail on the donkey yes not a wheel yes tall tail I think it was wheel oh pinwheel pinwheel pinwheel thank you Chuck then there's a contribution there's pinhead oh yeah where the pinheads that's Marty McFly's band oh that's right that's right

there's also hellraiser oh yeah pinhead I never got into him I like Freddy Jason I got on board with the pin rate pinhead or whatever I was like I'm out I'm a pin pal hellraiser Chuckie come on Chuck get real weak anything with key every horror movies like a kid I'm like I'll kick a kid's face exactly horror movie should be kooks kooks that's a good idea for a horror movie yeah legit like crazy kooks and it's not some you know what do you call it vampire or zombie yeah it's legitimately mentally unwell people who are on drugs I love it and they come in and in rapier your father I try to do press conference

style real breather it was easy it was like didn't feel good Darth Vader Vater Vater that's a good Halloween costume Mike Bond oh I think I'm smelling it yeah that ain't pretty egg fluid or whatever you call it hardboiled baby every morn best thing for you and I had oatmeal well so yesterday I got a wild cock up my ass which has nothing to do with what I'm about to say oh lay it on me cock a doodle do the cock is that what you said well that was my my rooster great chicken that's a hell of a poyo I think I've got to start incorporating noises into my act I think I'm pretty good at I got like this one

yeah how do you get that in though we're getting somewhere I think I'm pretty good with guns yeah whoa that was like a drone strike wow Michael Winslow yeah you know oh the alarm is sounding and I got a good stand-up bass a little trumpet a full band yeah nuke your own band you come in shoot them not bad firestorm man this guy never played a lick of call of duty either no never seen it never touched it but same I can't figure it out the buttons the guys doing this I can't do it now I just feel like my life is being destroyed if I'm playing video games I tell you I was addicted to candy crush

for about eight minutes oh my lady I was laying in bed and she was making a move I said not now or I got a yellow going and she said well you got some problems and I deleted it right there wow yeah I never played a game on the phone I'm not a game guy I'm a big Wikipedia guy Wikipedia that ain't no game well I read like today I was listening to the album Court and Spark by Joni Mitchell and I just go in and read all the production that's funny I do the same thing with movies yeah I'll do that and the other thing I did the other day was the revolving door I was thinking I was looking at a revolving door I read all

about it and they made a law because of a big crush back in 34 in Boston actually and they had to now it's legally have to flank the door with push open doors flank yeah like on either side oh is that right yeah that's why when you see a rotating door there is a regular door next to a flank yes flank steak that's the law because there was a big fire and everyone tried to crush out of the rotating door oh sorry fire escape invented by women a woman no kidding yeah and it all became there they were doing the fun fact train chew chew sewing factory caught on fire and all these women couldn't get out they were just burned you know back

of the the 30s or whatever so they built fire escapes I like that couldn't get down the elevator couldn't get down the stair they're all trampling each other and they all died wow and then you know about the scaffolding hey here we go fatty so you see scaffolding all over the all over the town I certainly do I'm doing pull-ups on it and a big hunk of something fell off a building randomly killed a lady hmm so they made this law that every five years a building has to inspect the whole perimeter wow and that's why the scaffolding and the scaffolding companies made a fucking shit ton because now they have to be there yeah well I mean Carnegie Hall was scaffolded

for like five years literally right like most of the time we've lived here it's been under scaffolding I know isn't that a bummer and then when it goes away you're like whoa it's like when a LA actress gets the bandage off you're like look at that yes exactly oh how about the time how about these places I mean not the time these places they do the scaffolding then they drape it with a picture of the outside of the building have you seen that yeah I like that it's not bad it's a nice touch it's not fooling anybody well it's kind of a loony tunes where he puts the hole in the wall and then the thing runs into it what about Roger Rabbit when he throws the he has the rubber thing and he throws it and put his hand through I love that that's a great

mind-blowing great great film Zemeckis see there's a film I take a couple edibles at night I'm popping on by the way I watch fableman yeah I heard about fableman snooze orama oh Ron I loved it but he hates Farley so I don't know what the hell but yeah and yeah he he's off he's a little off he's jews with the fable I mean it's a it's a Spielberg joint so I'm sure he's got a little kinship with the foreskin right but Spielberg the last 20 years by the way just oozing cheese just melted cheese that bridge of spies I still haven't got over the Cohen brothers name is on that fucking piece of trash man that's my town lpm I put that thing on I could go full cosby that's as bad as it gets folks yeah that was a bore but such a great story and still it was boring

stinkeroo I'll dabble in the fablemans I'll shove it up my ass I only got halfway through before I was figuring my own asshole just to stay awake yeah I'm watching all the Cohen brothers movies lady killers that's embarrassing that's that's hanks with the basement southern accent yeah and marlin wanes and it is just bad as it gets it's crazy it makes you feel good though because these guys are maybe the best brilliant screenwriting director ever yeah I mean just brilliant and they got a movie along with intolerable cruelty that's just a piece of shit yeah like it is a straight-up piece of shit and it makes you feel better also I think the next film there might have been a film in between was no country you could feel like they were like all right yes yes

let's put our noodles together and really make something I think that's kind of put not to get all pretentious and queefy but I think that's part of art is sometimes you have a slump and then you you realize it sucked and you it pulls something out of you that you wouldn't have if you didn't have a slump right like I don't want to get too mean or personal but a great comedian big fan John Mulaney hilarious killer stuff one of the best but he had a tea a sitcom that it was a a bit of a turd I didn't see it but I didn't hear one single good thing I think he would admit that I think he was a little over his head maybe a little overwhelmed maybe a little fucked up who knows what's going on but after that he went all right that's it fuck that I'm going back to work

like Chris rock story about going on SNL he couldn't get anything on he wasn't making money he hated it so he just disappeared back then you could disappear yes love disappearing which I'd love a few people to disappear oh but um he went out and just hit the road with joiner yep of the Mario joiners and just super mario sorry eating balls um he just went out with joiner hit the road nobody heard from him and then he came out with a little special maybe you heard of it bring the pain Chris rock whoa one of the top five specials of all time that whole Louis story where they like oh where's Chris rock been I haven't seen him on a coon's age and then he goes uh leave that make a timestamp please and uh they go to Kelly's doing carolines let's go check them out and it was just

lights out right Dylan same thing Bob Dylan came to New York and everybody he stole somebody's records and he played an album of covers and then everyone could kind of disappear for a couple weeks six weeks two months four months and he came back and he was finger pick in and had all these original songs and everybody was like what did he sell his devil to the satan right right his anal to the bielzebub oh the door slam hey there folks Tuesdays for stories is brought to you by mizzen and main you gotta check out mizzen and main they're the inventors of the performance fabric dress shirt lightweight breathable and moisture wicking mizzen and mains closing will have you looking great these are

comfortable dress shirts that you need to try to believe the best part is that they are machine washable so no expensive trips to the dry cleaner I hate going to the dry cleaner this is the hard thing about really nice dress shirts as you guys know I have several wonderful dress shirts from a certain london importer not as easy to deal with not as cool not as affordable not as comfy as mizzen and main I love mizzen and main they told they sent us some pants they sent us some shirts they got killer stuff I love it I'm wearing the pants right now I'm as comfortable as I've ever been if you try it out and if somehow you still aren't a believer they've got over 30 000 five star reviews so you know they make a great product right now you can go to mizzen and main

dot com and use promo code stories to receive $25 off any regular price order of $130 or more 25 bucks off that's $25 off when you go to mizzen and main dot com and use our promo code stories do it do it today Tuesdays with stories is also brought to you by draft kings the NFL playoff picture is finally locked in no patriots that's all right the patriots were mediocre no one was you know what I mean where we going with this next year a little bit better the year after that Super Bowl champs anyways if you believe me you can place a bet on draft kings the wild card round action will be this weekend draft king sports book an official sports betting partner of the NFL to kick off the road to Super Bowl 57 new customers can bet just five bucks and get 200

in free bets instantly I mean I'm excited about the weekend I love the NFL playoffs I just love it it's the best and in some ways I like it more when the patriots aren't in it because it's more free to just go crazy and I'm not a big betting man honestly but I like to tell people who to bet on and I think it's gonna be I think it's gonna be exciting watch out for the Lions just kidding they didn't make it either anyways place some bets this weekend have a good time enjoy those NFL playoffs all new and existing customers can get a no sweat bet each day of the wild card round this weekend just place any NFL bet of your choice choice and if it loses you'll get a free bet back up to ten dollars action so good why bet NFL playoffs anywhere else download

the draft king sports book app now and use promo code Tuesdays new customers can bet five dollars on the NFL and get 200 and free bets instantly only a draft king sports book with promo code Tuesdays minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply see show notes for details and be careful out there don't lose all your money for god's sake we love you by the way Henry Phillips one of the great jokes ever one of the funniest guys of all time where he says uh yeah I sold uh sold my soul to the devil to play guitar and then the devil is like all right so like I can play guitar now and the devil's like no no you got to come back like two three times a week it's gonna be like we'll start off with our lessons we'll start with some idea of selling your soul to the devil for guitar lessons

that's hilarious very funny lessons so good but yeah the neighbor hates us we should just leave a note that says hey maybe what if we came up with our recording times and posted the note said hey we'll be here Wednesday that's not bad 12 to 2 that's not bad because he I mean look we're here twice a week this week but we're really here what three hours a week yeah for sure and he's here I assume 80 hours 80 easily he lives in that shanty over there he's got it's all well decorated over there is it well he opened and there's a Buddha in there so he should be forgiving yeah by the way I met I so I'm suing my contractor it's a whole rig of my role yeah sweet picture you suing it's very adult I just that's why I was two minutes late I was running

from a meeting where we had we were like we got to get this guy and I'm talking to a lawyer I'm like who am I I'm this is very adult yeah I put a sweater on it's suing over a home you bought I'm a homo ner yeah but can't say ner no so uh I'm like all right whatever now it's so funny because you're like yes litigation arbitration I'm just trying to I'm pretending I know what the hell they're talking about and then I was like okay I have to go to another meeting hey queef jizz anal you know it's fun to go from that to that god that is hilarious yeah these suing men with jobs Jerry around a conference table coffee we had the phone there in the middle where they go some other guy the big wigs like we're gonna we're gonna bury this asshole or

whatever it's so adult I feel that way the doctors off they give you numbers and they're like this great you're gonna like die and I'm like what do you eat I'm like I don't know mac and cheese like a family serving yeah twinkies brownies cupcakes they're like they're just looking at me like what are you out of your fucking mind I know I went no good that's crazy it's the rest of development well anyways happy new year everybody it's January but a little peek behind the meat curtain we recorded this back in October so yeah I asked for some topics a little light on stories and we got we got some fun ones here and one lady one lady gay I love a lady gay me too a lot of good by the way I heard from a Becky gay oh because we called Becky's fat and disgusting and

gross I forgot about that and one was uh that was like a little mouse jizz well one lady sent and said hey look at I'm a Becky and uh really like pose quite lovely lovely Becky well you're gonna share that there I assume she reached out to you I don't check anything I'm a married man all right well I'm married too but uh you know she forced it on me so well please you know reciprocate well I wasn't a nude or anything it was just like a headshot I'll take a headshot a lovely lady yes so did JFK folks and Nancy Reagan all right so here's the lady we want to hear some of these yeah your rudest celebrity encounter slash snub oh you got anything yeah let me think here celeb I don't come across too many celebs lots of celebs what are you crazy well none have

been really that mean oh you want to hear a weird thing you know we talked about Matt Damon at the at the club and Andrew Garfield that one episode that episode has 400% more listens than the rest of our episodes we're gonna talk celebs you talk about David spade in that one too okay David spade Andrew Garfield Matt Damon and the episode is called Damon Garfield spade just 100% wow we don't we don't think of comics as celebrities but we see celebrities all the time true I'm hanging out with David spade Sebastian and a scalco right people think we're celebrities so these guys are like they say I mean Louis I mean obviously I'm friends with Meryl Streep MS what's up yay multiples grosses uh yeah Seinfeld Meryl Streep Dave Chappelle Chris Rock right Schumer

John Mayer Amy Schumer uh Judah Friedlander you know these are you know he's but he's a star of a TV show Tracy Morgan is around us in our orbit yes yes you say Ray Romano didn't say Romano you see Romano all the time Sal Volcano is a personal friend of ours and tell him Steve Bob whatever the fuck you wish it is uh so I'm trying to we're in the orbit of a lot of celebrities I mean I have my Philip he won't see mohoffman story I've told many times I'll just tell the quick version of it again I walked up to him in the east village I'm hammered this is 2003 shithouse he's talking to a beautiful black woman and I can still picture both of them sitting at the bar they're at the bar like this this is the bar and they're facing each other like this yeah

I'm at a table and I'm just an idiot 21 years old hammered I walk up to him and he was quite curt but he I deserved it Kurt Russell I literally walked I didn't say I just stood in between them and said the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone when you're uncool oh that's tough he said what like that and I went it's from almost famous and he's like yeah and then it was awkward and so I just went I'm friends with Patrice O'Neill which was not true yeah yeah I had met him I didn't know him and then he said who oh and I was like he's in 25th hour and they don't even have a scene together I don't think he was like okay and then I went anyways big fan big fan and then just walked away and then went back to my table and I was like

and like and my friend my my roommate at the time Martin was like how'd it go and I was like great it was great dude it was cool it was and I tried to be that guy I was like it was cool man like I said hello just told him what he means to me and I'm lucky because I was at the New York Film Academy at the time I should I was I almost was like actor myself oh god don't do that but so that was I wouldn't say Roop Paul McCartney another one I hang out with but not rude not rude very pleasant but that was if that was a private party that I was invited to sure guest of a inviteee he'd been vetted and Springsteen was not exactly warm he went hello anyway hey nice to me like that but you know he's a tortured soul oh yeah well I mean those that's good it's funny

you meeting Seymour Hoff you sound like me now you were like uh like lying you were you were bothering somebody it reminded me of myself a little bit of a bummer but I met John Totoro whoa I didn't really meet him but we were at a restaurant I was with someone a friend of mine and he was two booths down and I go that's John Totoro my friend was holy shit so he walks up to him and he goes just want to say man love Miller's crossing and he goes okay wow similar my friend was like no didn't and walk back yeah and uh you know that was pretty rough well these people are eating meals and uh it's it's annoying for them and you figure like we're still at a level people say something you're like hey thank you all right wow my life is meaningful but I think these guys

they've won Academy Awards their dad's gay it's so it's not as meaningful I had another one with Belichick I was in Hartford Belichick Bill Belichick was out his wife and a couple kids they were kind of standing around and uh I walked up and I said hey coach just want to say thanks for the memories and uh he didn't even respond and his wife went thank you he appreciates that you can tell but Belichick's a known kook yeah yeah and so it was sweet that is what you could tell his wife was like this is my thing I say hey yeah he appreciates it okay that's nice thanks for the memories it's so fucking gay ah yeah that's tough well yeah let me think there's gotta be another one huh hmm let's see celebrities that's a weird owl on a float in Mardi Gras once but didn't meet him

Frank weird elves on the plane who else well you met Spike Jones at the cellar I remember you went up and said hello to him yeah he was uh he was busy he had a lot of people around him was Knoxville there that night I wish Knoxville was at the cellar one time yeah he's great he was at the cellar one night I didn't say hello or anything like that meatloaf was a real dick to me one time oh really looks the greatest well meatloaf I like more than I like you so I'm on his side already well bad out of hell I mean who's gonna argue with me I can't beat it bad out of hell wow you reminded me of one thank you all right I was I was on the set of uh Benjamin Buttons as a youth oh right I remember they were filming in New Orleans was post Katrina the city's in Hock

yes and it was all a mess I'm a PA production assistant lock it up that was me lock it up and I just stand in the middle of the street and go hey old bag you gotta cool it right there and they would go I live around here and you go fuck you and that was my whole job and I watched he wasn't really mean to me but we got a this is movie magic they got a street car back on the tracks all the street cars were were fucked and not running because of Katrina but movie magic they bought one got one on the track and they had to like pull it and so they're like we got one shot at this one shot and the guy fucked it up and they fired him and he threw his hat down it was like out of a movie oh wow that's fun it was wild it was like Scott Rudin esk Rudin he was the

producer of many things maybe that movie too but it just came out he was like a tyrant oh I believe two thing but he's just like a piece of shit or whatever maybe tyrant is a little you need a little tyrant oh I think so movie producer for sure yeah I feel that way all the time you gotta be like what the fuck are you doing you fucking idiot exactly um so yeah those are some celeb meeting but I think celebrities for the most part they know especially now in the internet yes they just leave a bad tip or don't say hello it's all over the play oh you know it's a shit fucking Kelsey grammar yeah bill Murray got some hot water I don't know a month ago because everything he was pulling hair and you know tweaking nips or who knows what yeah so uh those are the celebrity this place got a

couple more things please please uh sorry then obviously the Seinfeld story where he yelled at me but that was my fault story on the time you laughed your hardest which I gotta say I mean the gay jokes the gay joke but also the Brad Garrett that's one of my hardest that's on film that's one of the all-time great and that's via zoom too to have that kind of chuckle over over a screen is big there was just so many things working in our our favor there the the Brad Garrett face the idea you're getting that as a gift yes the delivery you going the whole thing was perfect that's one of my hardest laughs ever and that was peak pandemic we needed a good chuckle too well we've mentioned it before you at my in my old kitchen and we were high and I was doing the polo jokes

that was big we were both crawling on our hands and knees doing the depolo uh dildo pepper shaker when you get high and then then the jokes are flowing and you're drunk man you're you're in a zone yeah it can really hit and then there was another one and I've told this story also the norm mcdonald's sagat roast I was at tom dustin's it was my house the everett house of comedy me and tom dustin again high drunk and uh and and and norm did the the anti roast roast oh sure and uh last thing this guy's mind was a hat ladies and gentlemen this man is for the birds and he did that whole thing yes and uh it just sometimes it's like the stars and clouds and assholes all aligned yes and it just hit that bone and I couldn't recover I mean I was on the

ground I was crying yeah dying laughing at norm and uh there's some great laughs out there yeah it's a special thing you know I was thinking we we mentioned movie directors a lot of brothers I wonder what that's about you got the ferrilli you got the cohen you got the wakowski and then it's safty safty mm-hmm wakowski I think might be sisters now I think they're trans wachowski sisters wachowski yeah Christopher Nolan also does all of his movies with his brother is that right Jonathan Nolan who like helps write everything there's also ridley and tony scott they didn't really work together weird maybe if they work together tony would still be here I think there's a lot of siblings the artistic stuff like uh the bacon brothers kevin bacon's band

the avid brothers yeah allman allman brothers dubi I don't know if that's a real dubi dubi I don't know if there's any dubi brothers in the dubi brothers is van halen are they brothers yeah there's indian alex and the kinks and uh ray davies and dav davies jackson five jackson five all right so maybe it's just a family thing maybe it's not a movie thing well I think you to grow up together and you know you got an idea I got an idea let's keep it working similar influences growing up similar tendencies wayans wayans brothers of course interesting a lot of brothers yeah and we're brothers or something something up in our mothers but what was the topic give me oh hardest laughs oh yeah hardest laughs yeah those are some good ones yeah those are some those are

some classics and uh I'll tell you the norton line at uh skankfest when the guy said uh dog water and norton was like hey let's watch the language that one just hit me in a way that I couldn't stop and uh so there's a lot of a lot of good laughs but I have to say weed most of my weed experience was freaking out and being like everyone hates me and going inward and being like I hate everything but there was some some laughter weed can't hit you in a way that oh on the floor laughing definitely and that's the beauty of the internet is you know comedy is great but you can relive it like I remember reliving all those o and a's things where louis and patrice would be talking about the n word or that shit put me on the floor yeah those two going at it and

then they would laugh so then you would laugh it was really something and I I've told this story many times too but I seeing I was a sunday night my friend iro was opening for reagan at the connection reagan was still doing a sunday 7 p.m show wow i brought uncle dale and ed regal we used to own the everlyle and uh jack herney hey and uh there was a little group of us and we sat in the back and watched reagan and he did some bits that was just I I told it before I had to look away I literally looked away and was like I need a break because I was gonna throw up I mean it was he was killing me I remember it was the uh the horse race he did the horse race announcer and then he's like oh now in the finals the stretch goes four score seven years ago our fathers came up on this

nation he did a whole thing like that that's beautiful and then he did a whole thing about the reason for airplane he did the uh the the the pilots always have a suit with a briefcase they always look professional he goes I guess it has to be that way you can't have a guy in his pajamas with a trash bag with coat hangers sticking out of it going I can never read these things yeah and uh I was just killing it just hits you and then you're just in the laughing mode and you can't stop and uh it's quite a gift yeah what now you now it's all coming back to me uh me and my brother had to babysit a kid you know they were like look we gotta go they need a babysitter you guys are doing it my brother Cohen's yes brothers my brother's six or eight I'm six you know we're

we shouldn't have but this is a toddler here and this kid was just starting to walk but he was like wobbly like a drunk guy and he had snot coming out of his nose and he didn't know it because he's a kid he's like sure and me and my brother were like dying laughing is this kid at the snot coming out we couldn't hold it in and we're like ah he would come near you we're like get away from me so the kid would fall down the stairs or whatever and we couldn't get near him because he had so much snot on his face oh we were dying snot and falling down the stairs great combo come on he shit his pants but we couldn't you know we're trying to get to the diaper but he's like touching you with the snotty of the string going oh man we howling snot's landing there it is snot's berry

farm good time uh what else you got there fatty over this is a fun one this will be this will take us home for the next half hour overrated and underrated physical qualities in women and men now that's a topic now now we're off on a topic overrated underrated physical qualities in women and men let's start with men okay overrated underrated underrated is uh the you know the obliques you know when a guy's got those little muscles right on the rib that's underrated underrated okay sorry under those look great yeah that's a good look tough to get tough sometimes i'll i've been thin enough at times where my ribs show up and it looks like those oh that counts you can see a rib i'll count that if you really because i remember

lewis goma has called me out on that one time because i was on like you know what dude and i was like i've been working out check it out and bobby's like dude you have you got the fucking you got those ribs and lewis is like those are fucking ribs there is ribs and he started punching me and i cried well bobby loves ribs um i don't think he has any but uh i want my baby back um yeah those are underrated obliques let me think what else underrated underrated a perfect five o'clock chef phil Hanley can sometimes yeah it's uh it's almost like just a different shade like it doesn't look like individual hairs yes it's just a perfect darkness over this lower half you know it is it's the density of the hair i got space in between

the hairs he's very dense yes a dumb guy space to and i got a tweez coming out of here and a hanger and a rogue over there in a grave but he's just yeah he's a smooth smoothie that's a good look smoothie king good look underrated i think for women we've talked about this it's all outfit it's all clothes i like the body i think a three piece and a thing but i'm telling you these fat guys put on a nice suit that's true oh for a man it's outfit yes i see i see yeah yeah okay underrated i think i think like crooked teeth and a weak jawline is underrated oh yeah i can see just a big forehead yeah kind of a overbite sure undesirable teeth underrated i think that's a nice look lanky yes a real long long look you know high waisted yeah quite a five head there yeah

herpy yeah she's been around i think i think open sores on a dick is underrated now we're talking that's something that's a good one okay what about thin dick no all right yeah i'm trying to think we have to have a woman on here to talk about underrated overrated i know shoulders and pecs are big women love a shoulder yes and i've heard a woman say i love a man's back a muscular back just add all that mass of back man yes man back back man and robin i think back is good i think muscle well these women some of them pretend or say i had this argument recently with we had a big hang at the house the the Astoria gang there and there was one woman saying like body is not as important to women it just isn't uh and then i was and then another one was agreeing and she's

dating a guy who's not a great body and i was like so you're telling me if this guy you're dating went on a diet went on a crazy workout regimen you'd be bummed out yeah exactly you'd be you'd be a sexual what do you call it what's that agnostic non-binary this guy shows up with pecs and abs and shoulder you're gonna be like this oh gosh no no there's literally youtube videos called women reacting to buff guys yes and a guy walk in a women like yes they pretended they're not into which is sweet i love it but it's like they they want a hot bot as much as we do that it's not a deal breaker sure for a man it might be a deal breaker a woman blows up like a balloon you're like i can't be with a fat lady hit the sidewalk get it up you can't get it up yeah exactly a

pussy you have lube i guess we have pills we have pills but you can also give it a little shot of saliva there with a dick there's no saliva yeah yeah saliva yeah you could you could suck me off for a week if you got a beer it's not gonna work no offense chuck uh i'll work for me but let's get to the women all right expertise but one more underrated okay oh some guys have a chest there that's poofing out their collar yeah that's a little much but if a guy's got some good definition and just a nice little tuft yeah i got you got a tuft i'm tufty yeah tuft is good good college too yeah boston yeah uh just a tough in the middle right there i think it's a solid look yeah tuft is good uh john john of kennedy jr had the tuft and he boy he was i want to suck his ass yeah well he

flew upside down and passed away uh like father like son it's plain as sailed that's kind of funny um but yeah and i think um i don't know what else yeah i think that's about well we don't we're not attracted to men i like a quad on a good day a guy was walking i was like look at these quads on this guy quadriplegic so all right let's get to the ladies all right underrated overrated overrated i don't know boy it's all good rated we like a lot of thing i mean over it's easy it's just overweight but that's not really rated no that's no good yeah uh sometimes i think the ass it's like an ass i do love a big something of an ass it's got to be maintained sometimes you get a big ass and it's all wrinkled wobbly and dimpled i want a big ass

but it's got to be well that's what i think is overrated a big ass yeah exactly like if it's it's big from like squats and stairs but sometimes it's big from like twinkies and hot dogs yes yes and uh i'm just like oh it's all dimpley and shit i'm all right i guess even sometimes now we're getting bad but i see a model walk away and you're like oh now i get a shot of the ass and it's like it's all like like like water ripples which by the way just to balance it i don't want to sound like we're massages asshole my ass is garbage i don't even have one it's just covered in pimples and dimples i'm all pimples and dimples but it looks like my ass is in a paintball championship it's just it's dimpled and it's brown yeah it's just nasty and and my asshole is dry and wet at the

same time yes yes dry wet it's it's not good my ass is garbage and i feel bad my wife i mean i think someone does a bit like this maybe it's jay is it you i have a bit where i have to walk out of the room backwards yeah literally i literally do that yes i'm like i i literally walk out backwards i'm also afraid that this poo all over my ass that's what i'm saying the paintball this shit it's a pollock yes so i do the same thing i cover my ass and i moonwalk out of the room i do i think i'm not even proud of my genitals but i will walk out backwards with the underwear i'll pick it up off the floor and cover my ass with it and let the genitals fly i'm the same thing i love the explicit of flies so my ass is garbage so garbage is back to the trash yes overrated underrated

um what's uh you know what's underrated i think of those uh those back dimples you know right at the lower back is that little two notches there yes that is nice uh you know what else is good is a woman's neck i love a nice neck exposed just side neck with maybe an earring i'm very big into veins when coming whoa when a lady is like oh and you see those veins coming that's hot i like a neck vein come and an nvc but you're getting a reaction that's what you want you want to know oh that's not a fake orgasm if she if it is she's meryl streep over here that's all you want is uh is a reaction eyes underrated eyes are beautiful i love a good brown eye the clue in the one i have yes yes a brown eyed girl a piercing blue i mean you know my look i talk about every time i go to ireland

jet black hair and light crystal blue eyes you can't beat it my wife has neither of those but zero but i like a straight black hair i like blue hair that's just it looks like uh there's a there's a weight holding out the bottom it's just yes i don't know why i love a straight i think is i have dumb curly pubic hair so i like a woman and not look like me i like curls i like curly well i'm attracted to you so i want curly hair i like a natural curl but i like straight too hair i guess is overrated because i'm like yes i like a shaved head i like a black lady natural i'm into bring it so um mustache is underrated no overrated here's something that's no one likes the mustache in the first place no here's something i i i i need a i don't need i like a good nipple

i want a little pink nipple oh i want a big tree trunk i want a wallop i want a milk sucker i want a tiny little like a puffy little kid nip pink pink that's too male no i want pink the small is very masculine but i've seen a brown and i want a brown i want a pink all right all right i want to i don't mind brown i don't mind pink i'll take the whole roigy biv i got a couple of pubes sticking straight out of that nip too that i'm not into all right i don't want a five o'clock nip under underrated is a cube in the nip all right all right yeah these are good you know what's nice too is that sometimes a lady will have a line down the leg like an indentation of some muscle or something's going on there but i love that line on the thigh i love a line send in a line

i'll do a line i've talked about this before and i think i found out recently i forgot a friend hooked up with this lady i saw a lady with the tattoo around the leg it was like a garter oh a tattoo though tattoo interesting yeah that that i like i like tattoos i love tattoos i've been a lot of pain here i think something's wrong with me what happened cod oil i i don't know my stomach it's killing me but we'll push through your back i think i got a diarrhea coming oh boy that oatmeal that egg don't eat eggs could be the eggs are horrible for you it could be the eggs i'm hurting here hold on i let me let me just get i think i got like a bubble well you're all twisted ah i'm twisted because i've been pain you know what might help is i i read this recently

get the leg up because it moves the bubble i don't know if i can move my leg like that oh shit this could be an injury i might have to i might have an emergency here is this a shit or a bat where is the shit where's the pain in my stomach stomach pain can you stand up no it's hurt do you have anything that was like could be food poisoning might maybe i'm i'm sweating pain is bad the pain stomach is real bad okay hold it the whole show what if this is uh it could be uh what i had the uh what do you eat this morning egg one egg what if it's uh what's that called that i had that they take it out the appendix yeah it's something like that uh let me i don't want to ruin the show let me run to the bathroom great show okay buddy it's okay pause we only got 10

minutes left you can't get upright we're gonna knock this out i feel i feel bad oh Jesus Christ holy hell he couldn't even stand up straight man food i had food poisoning in this office it was so i remember by the way this is chuck's dream control no no we're not keeping this you're just talking well no we should keep this part this is pretty good but this is bad i mean this guy i've never heard him complain about anything except uh the business and woke culture continuously non-stop um and uh who's getting booked who's getting specials yes uh almost incessantly but i've never heard him complain about something physical other than women's bodies all right let's hit the pause and hopefully we'll be back mark is passing away and i got somewhere

to be so hopefully he gets back here so we'll be back we're pausing five minutes for station identification i've got somewhere to be mark's dying in the bathroom he'll be fine all right we're back whoo sorry about that i had a miscarriage i don't know what that was but you know take a huge dump of rooney and then it was just spray green spray yeah and they got the guy next to me in the stall oh that's the worst i weren't in office here i know so you kind of like all right maybe i'll wait him out he was here when i got here so he's probably wrapping up but then he never wrapped up so i was like fucking wipe it up saw some blood and got out of there so you're better now how's the stomach feel i feel back it was pushed up against my genes and it was

gurgling and cleafing and i had my asshole was on fire and i didn't know what it was i was sweating but i feel better this is by the way this i'm always getting all this heat you eat too much spinach to pull you eat like a child you probably have a by the way everyone by the way writes to me and is like you got uh what's the fucking thing where you're shitting a bucket behind the drummers stage there crones like people like i think you have crones i'm like everyone's about to take a big crazy shit that's all yeah that's what i had in the plane that time and your but your shits are solid they're long they're tubular they're beautiful mine are coming out just like a fire hose and they're civil rights well it's a lot of greens i probably you probably hate some

some greens some greens and some some mexican spicy yeah the coffee and the coffee will push it right out of there and oatmeal eggs yeah eggs eggs that come back on eggs they're good for you i think sometimes it just gets all crammed up in there and then you as depol would say you shit out of crayon you ate in third grade you just get it all out you need some psyllium husk huh psyllium husk he used to send that to me what's that it's like a powder he'd put in a drink and then whip it up and then you drink it and it it bulks you up really i guess not your body like bulk in your stool oh so it's less mushy yeah but i think it's the same as fiber oatmeal and leafy greens right right right right it's tough because they want to get fiber fiber but then

they say don't eat bread right and the bread's chock full of five well i think a whole wheat bread has five yeah white bread doesn't have that much i think it's bread is just bad either way i don't know well what's wrong do i have celiac because i used to drink 20 beers a day i had three beers yesterday and i felt like i had a wad of dough in my stomach possibly i mean i could have a thing i think i went i hit 33 and i just couldn't have beer my my tongue goes white my my mouth hurts i get the the wad but sometimes like this i think you just it's light you'd live a long life every once in a while thing gets like a little yeah yeah this was an emergency and i held it in for 48 minutes but i just couldn't do it it was the pain right right yeah that's what i had on the flight

recently when i on the way to your wedding that's when i went and shit bricks yeah i take the food back and uh same thing sweating headache and just had to just blast it out and i felt like 100 bucks afterwards yeah yeah you got the evil in you sometimes you got to just exercise it the spirits got me chief yes finger me with a crucifix god damn it well it's good to have you back we were talking overrated underrated there's one more topic oh please please throw it out lay on me fatty i'm just a bunch but we're only using this lady quality a biggest regret of your 20s Jesus a channel so many 20s i got one yesterday yeah i mean for me it's all career i just did not pursue career whatsoever i mean i didn't understand uh twitter instagram youtube i just didn't use any

of it i didn't write enough i didn't do anything enough i didn't make any efforts towards career whatsoever other than going on the road opening for depolo and coming up with a joke here and there right all career i mean i feel like i could have been malaney i could have i could have really been somebody instead of a bum which is what i am let's face it charlie could have been a contender but at least you have a grasp on that and now you're writing an hour every 10 days well now i'm working i'm i'm still bad at the business and all that stuff but i got material at least and i'm trying to make things but the 20s was that was rough and i was not taking care of myself physically or mentally or professionally so the whole 20s had some fun a lot of good memories yeah yeah a

lot of great memories what we do remember i mean there's been shit you told me i did i'm like wow we did that yeah yeah it's 20s was tough 20s is the worst decade because you think you're smart but you're a full fucking retard full on tard and you're drinking on top of it and and i'm just aren't you glad there were not really a lot of cellphone cameras around back then like sure i would have some more photos and documentation of my wildings but i don't know you just film everything you the the slurs the the shits you took inside a hospital bed all that stuff yeah the video thing is i got tons of photos i always had a disposable camera always at every gathering so i got tons of photos which i love but video would have been just a great big night oh yeah there'd be all this

evidence of vandalizing and whatnot and doing things to cars drunk driving whoo we're lucky to be alive yeah i mean yeah my 20s boy i would go into just public restrooms and piss all over the place and take shit i mean it was horrible bad news yeah it's amazing that society can function with 20 year olds in it because all we do is trash shit everything you build it up and we'll trash yeah yeah no it was uh it was bad so the whole decade just a big pile of regret but it got me where i am now so if you changed any of it my life would you know you gotta do it i think everybody does it you gotta do it but then you it's weird because you hear about these guys who in the 80s they got married at 23 had kids at 24 and you're like wow how'd you pull that off that's my dad

i was thinking about this the other day i was like well my wife and i watched fargo and i was like talking about all these memories of watching with my dad and us dying laughing and thinking it was like the best movie and i realized my dad was younger than i am now yeah my dad was like 39 when fargo came out that's crazy isn't that weird it's so weird i was 14 that's insane when my dad was my age i was 15 years old wow isn't that weird that's insane and my sister was 19 imagine if i had a 19 and 15 year old right now that would be wacky i'd be i'd be fucking the 19 year old yeah so would i you'd be a different guy yeah thrupple with a different body but yeah it's uh it's a it's a different time you know it's a generational thing the gen zers

are gonna have kids when they're 98 and so i'm like i'm still blown i'm still blown of this memory of watching fargo with my dad he was 39 years old it's crazy well it's good you're getting blown when you're married it's tough but i uh saw a photo of my dad the other day it was me and my brother playing in the in the backyard and my dad had a suit on and i go what year is this and i did the man he was 33 so i'm like he's 33 and i'm 39 yeah he had a big house and two idiot kids and a weird wife so you must have been a child how old did you say you were i was a kid i was like five oh okay because i was like your dad looks 91 black don't crack he's an old brittle man yeah yeah he didn't really take care of him so yeah he ate a lot of jerky but he's a sweet guy a lot of jizz taking

it up the pooper but uh good egg and uh we miss you rick rickie uh he's still alive i don't know why i said that but uh nice guy oh yeah here's a fun one this is a fun one we put on the record what celeb will die next year which is this year if you're listening to this oh well you got your let's put one on the record 2023 celeb die i'm scared because what if they die it'll be like we cursed them no you're nailed it that's good well i think already lang's uh knocking on doors there maybe why'd you pick yeah that's hurt ah it's aria celebrity because he's like 75 yeah he's not really successful and he goes out into the machu pichu he's probably on a tightrope right now with a with an indian by the way are you doing the beacon get your tickets march something march

24th is it get get those tickets early yeah aria just announced he's out out riding fences i don't know where he is i think he's literally in south america yeah i think so but uh yeah beacon theater march 24th get those tickets folks wow very exciting good on yari um i think he's one of my favorite artists of all time but i think it's finally gonna run out and hit the wall i think keith richards oh this is the year interesting this is the year it's finally gonna come to an end oh by the way an easier one i think to win the bet nicholson i think he's on his way out oh really so i put two out there but uh nicholson i've i've heard is not doing well at the dimension and he's and he was a big uh big coke guy and uh and he's in his 80s i mean he's been around a long time he

made it he was late in life when he are late for a celebrity he was like 35 oh really who was next i think hey he dodged a me too which i thought that guy was a she was a porn star addict he dated all these hollywood starlets and he was a big booze hound coke hound poon hound yeah released the hound yeah so uh i'm gonna say nicholson yeah i guess we got two because i just picked two well then bruce willis seems to be uh on edge and i wonder if michael j might have a spasm and fall down to an escalator but i don't think willis i don't think you die from that i think you just can't remember oh i don't think it's a death set oh okay good i don't want to die hard i think you can just can't read properly or whatever register things or something like that okay well those are good

when nicholson and uh richards all great guesses but willis good i'm not trying to talk you out of your answer i'm just but that's the other thing is yo like tom petty no one saw that coming i know spry uh feeble blonde guy but here we are he was on methadone or whatever the hell i got high blood pressure high cholesterol so i could be out by april oh you got a bad ticker you got to stay on that oatmeal and spinach diet keep those solid shits cooking yep all right what's next uh let me see what else can i can i just say this i went to i met my new contractor he's a tough guy from queens irish guys got the four leaf clover tattoo no fun and he did this we went to a diner and had a meal to talk about the house and he before he ate he went this guy is old school i love old school

yeah and i had the lady there and he goes this guy's really jerking you around part of my language ma'am oh gee this guy is like a like a throwback a good old-fashioned throwback i like yeah he's a mick all right let me see there's a few here i think we did this before fuck mary kill louis j dave oh yeah we did that well i think he got a mary dave he's the marrying kind i guess he's married with a couple kids i would fuck big jigs i heard he's not packing so that helps and then you gotta kill gomez i mean he's a menace of society already i love louis i mean he's my favorite of those guys i love him too he's a he's a funny guy in a hell of a entrepreneur but marriage you can't marry i mean he's lady yells he flies off the handle yells at uber drivers but i think i'd like to

fuck him he's got beautiful lips he's latino and uh he's spicy he's got what i want he's got a edge yeah i think it choked me oh he'll cut you and then um boy i hate to i don't know i i might have to kill dave just because he's so smart and he's got he reads so much i think he'd always be like you know the economy and i'm like all right i don't know about the economy so i gotta kill dave and i'll marry j yeah it doesn't hurt to get rid of a political comedian oh yes he's tough i feel like he'd be bringing me down here's a good one i want to we'll close with this this is a fun one from uh betty davis the cat i don't know how a cat can eat laughs he said who do you think would have turned into a shitty has been musician if they live past 27 one kurt cobain b janice joplin

d jim morrison or four jimmy hindricks i'm gonna go morrison because i think he was all show yeah morrison but who knows that seems like the most obvious answer to me but maybe if he got sober because it feels like he was a drunk but he was trying to be a poet yeah great voice decent voice but the whole i'm the liver king or what is he lizard king lizard king and uh you know i'm a man i fuck everything he couldn't get it up he was a heroin addict he was a mess right he was all branding but he had ambition but the alcoholism and drugs got in the way maybe he sobers up at 28 yeah gets a couple warning calls or whatever you call it sees the writing on the wall whatever the fuck bullshit and then gets it clean and he wanted to be great and wanted to be these things but

maybe he was just too fucked up so maybe yeah i mean he's would be my answer also but i'm just trying to push back against sure feels like i hear you i just think he would cave and he would need money and he would he would go like get your new skateboarder get your new skateboard riders on the storm yeah he'd be a weatherman riders on the storm the Doppler at eight yeah light my fire and come on down to uh yeah exactly i'm a shippo guy now light my fire whatever the hell and uh cobane i think this i just realized it says Kurt conane maybe that's a different guy Henryx is just so talented i mean the guitar you just keep playing it so well and cobane was two in his own head to be that guy i think he was too aware of that he put a bullet in his own head hello folks yes

ate a gun but uh yeah i mean i worried worry that maybe cobane would go into like the drum machine shit like billy corgan kind of went that way or get into like you know dance shit or something but uh you gotta hand it to pearl jam i mean who who stayed more true they're the best i mean they are the uh the greatest all right one more big dogs or small i go big because i don't like bending down to pat them i'm a small dog guy really i want to be able to i mean i'm not a dog guy in general but i want to be able to have it in my lap a comfort thing i want to be able to pick it up and run if i have to sure and if it's annoying somebody someone comes and i go hey hey hey i see oh that's cute you keep it in a purse yeah i like a little dog a lap dog i like a what do

you call it uh what depolo had he had my favorite dogs now is there i think it was a i think it was a york shear terrier oh those are cute it was nice now i go medium the big dog is overwhelming especially in new york you know he's some asshole's got a great dane in a studio apartment you're like what are you doing judgy this thing can't even turn it's just a flex it's just a money dog hey i got money heads up what's up i got a big place yeah then you got your saint bernard asshole you got your german shepherd douche you got your uh what's that other one uh the uh it's like ah it's a australian dick sheep dog maybe those are though that's not too big but they're huge i can't think of the name it's almost like a husky oh the scary one with the bear face yeah the bear

face mean yes they're supposed to be really mean even a dalmatian i hate get go back to the fire house we don't need your spots around here yeah no spots but i like a medium like uh like a this yeah that's good small you don't want a yappy yeah he's shaking he looks like a holocaust survivor you want to throw that into a fireplace but give me a nice mead yeah nice medium but i just don't want a dog that knocks children over no the dog that jumps up and it's like whoa i don't want scary i want little agreed i want a little battery dog he runs on batteries yeah but the pomeranian though don't you find that's a fake dog it's like a breast implant of dog it it doesn't do anything it's just it's just fake i didn't take it bold i didn't rent it shoes he's not taking your turn

remember the boski ah you brought the pomeranian bowling i didn't rent it shoes it's not taking your turn great film all right we gotta wrap it up brothers we're way over time yeah well you did leave for nine minutes to have an abortion but um yeah i'd give birth all right i got i got these big plugs in here because i got these rooms i'm doing that i'm not gonna fill so please right now wilbur theater is up it's on sale april 15th patriots day weekend get those tickets march second park west in chicago i don't know what my agent's thinking i can't fill these rooms unless you buy the tickets and uh man i'm like i'm crazy on the road january february i got cleveland i think this weekend austin hell he can sun in a couple weeks february i got denver key west uh march is

columbus funny bone the third and fourth the big theater on the second and uh april uh is wilbur theater which i'm so excited about look at already doing the beacon you're doing the wilbur we are rolling we're rolling baby and please go subscribe to my youtube because there's gonna be another special coming right down the pike hit up um uh what i don't know what my special is called this year's material i want to keep that in the algorithm and make sure you subscribe gotta get that thing up high and yeah let's get let's get the two million by the end of the year got to gotta get to that two mil let's go and put it on at night and sleep in it yeah i'm all over the road too i'm doing this special next year so i'm back in the clubs to build a goddamn hour so if you want to see me

struggle and eat my asshole up there come on out to spokane nashville miami datan jacksonville i mean i'm doing some real shit boxes so come on out say hi mark normandcomedy.com for dates out to lunch netflix half hours over here get a bodega cat say hello praise Allah get on the patreon hope you didn't miss that cutoff for the three dollar tier i know but that's on you happy new year and many more yeah that's what some people say ah geez all right my sense is that interesting you