Tuesdays with Stories! - #490 Diddles and Bits

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

We're back in the saddle baby! Mark heads to Miami for a few sold out shows, hears about Jay Leno's SECOND recent accident and texts his closest friend in a time of need, which leads to an insane phone call. Joseph heads down to Orlando with Sarah to do a corporate gig in Disney World! It's a nightmare in the happiest place on earth! It's Tuesdays! Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories Sponsors: - Visit http://athleticgreens.com/TUESDAYS for a Free 1-year supply of Vitamin D - To get 20% off your first order of Manscaped visit https://manscaped.com and use code TUESDAYS - This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try a https://betterhelp.com/TUESDAYS and get on your way to being your best self.

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy you know you don't want to be the radio guy who comes in too hot but hey it's gonna be back it's good to see you quips and here we are on a balmy January February no it's January last no it's February you're right I'm

sorry I'm all fucked up black history yesterday was the 30 by the way we got to apologize we're behind very sorry I don't know how to please you guys I got in a bad habit of looking at the YouTube comments oh big mistake horrible idea I read them to yikes I mean it's hard to please these folks where if we're behind if we did a zoom episode they would break into my house and slip my throat at night and if you pre-record you're a piece of shit if you don't release an episode forget about it oh that's it we've taken every Christmas off for nine years we took this one off they're like you scumbag you love me I

won't the other guy the other thing is I talked to the half these queefs we know and they go I record when I run a record I'm like how do you get away with it I know it's not a precedent some people release Chuck you have something that you read the patreon comment oh yeah yeah you sent some patreon positive there's a lot of them yeah great two episodes they know what they're getting into yeah other people just willy-nilly are hanging out so appreciate the patrons God bless you get on that patreon if you want to be a good nice person who cares about society but we're doing the best we can we're pre-record you can blame me

this time I'm going on a seven-week road trip here I'm going to Key West shooting a film about Tom Dustin that's gonna be something I got Salak use coming down I love it he's like a boy he's gonna shit when he sees old Tommy D well I'm thinking about this Salak use has never met Tom Dustin that's even better I mean he's gonna be ruining takes with the camera shaking and Patrick Holbert coming down he's cute kid oh great guy he's a very very handsome man Viral what's that mean you know I wish I knew but it's it's one of those things where you're you're taught and you're manly and you're you're pumping with testosterone I don't

know I don't know like a dick is Viral it's stretched out the veins are popping the head is purple I see well he's very hand but I don't think of him as like a bro no not bro but he's just he's sturdy and capable yes he's very tall and handsome and he's like two's gay I believe so thank you so he'll be down there we got Tommy D and I think it's gonna be really something you know Dustin he's a character oh he's a card and that that that island or whatever you want to call a key it's an island yeah how come some things are a key I don't know you know I think this is a couple of them it's like a couple of keys when you're drunk yeah I

don't know I always thought maybe it looked like a key going into the P hole P hole P hole yeah yeah of Florida sure okay skeleton key well Doug key but key monkey key grip but it's an island but there's something you land on that island you just want to whoo you want to do blow off a guy's ass and fuck somebody's dead well they call it keys disease where you get down there you lose your job you got the crispy tits yeah like those brown tits that looks like you could just pull them off I don't know that's from the son are the a caked of jizz over years you know like my socks are crispy tits but I love I love coming on a towel you know

what I did the other day this is really well here's what I did the other day you know I've been with my wife very very very long time we're almost quits years and you know having sex I pull out and I say what if I come in your underwear that's a genre in porn no kidding coming coming the panties no kidding I had no idea why I thought I invented it ITP but I took the panties and just laid them out and shot it right on the panty well that's hot yeah it was pretty good and they were like black panties so the white on the black little Lewinsky yeah white on black that's that's a good crime yeah yeah just getting cut that no no that guy he really got fucked by the cops but no that was that was

black on the black on black yeah thank god I don't want to make I'm not making light of that no that was horrible we're making you know dark of that but every guy in America every white guy was going whew Jesus that's ugly we're all human but the panty one on uh on the porno is the girl is wearing it and the guy shoots it in there while she's wearing it she'll kind of open it up oh he shoots it in there which is even hotter oh well these were already off but I should have done that next time and send me a video because once the undies are off you don't want to put them back on no not with that splooge of baby batter so that these were already off so I just took them and put them underneath and squirted it right on there and it was pretty good see if I

was her I'd be annoyed I'd be like ah jeez I got two panties left and they go one of them wow this was this was day three of these panties were already stinking like like garbage outside of a bar they were a little soiled they were going into the uh the laundry anyway yes yes the furnace yes stick them on there I got you I never found the furnace at home alone that's scary I think we talked about this on the yeah I was like it's a furnace yeah I guess you're right yeah I was more scared of the uh hoodlums in my neighborhood it would look through the window yeah there's got guys breaking in adult men breaking in and trying to smash them in the face with an iron what does it what do you care about a basement that's a good point and I get the basement because you know

they can break in they could be a guy down there I walked in on a few guys in my house no kidding yeah they were banging my mom nice but they stole a vcr I walked in on a guy once I was you know seven and I go hey and he goes uh big big guy and he goes where's your dad at and I was like oh I'll find him and I went and looked for my dad I and I was upstairs looking for my dad I look out the window running through the backyard with a computer oh Jesus Christ computer monitor just wow crazy and you're like and even as a kid I was like oh I don't get it because you're so naive and then I told my parents later they called the police and my mom cried oh god that is frightening yeah good times well what are you gonna do yeah furnace well sorry was that too real no no all right

it was uh dramatic horrible true story yeah big guy that wasn't the only time but we'll get into the diddling later diddle riddle piddle diddle the diddler kiddle carry kiddles remember him who he was a basketball player for Villanova skittles kittles kittles fun last name sounds like a cereal I'd love to be Joe kittles yes Joe kittles would be nice yeah I kittles I kittles I hate my name I want to go Luke kittles Luke kittles holy hell kittles and bits over here that's the album and I got bits yes kittles and bits diddles and bits oh that's with the new theme park kittles diddles Luke kittles that's not that's a name what a life I would have if my name was Luke kittles different guy it would be nice we get that name in there maybe a little reconstructive surgery on the face and you're in

I think it might be fun to to pretend to die be one of these guys and then come back with a new act yes you know come back with a draper a mustache and what did he do he did that he went to he was a poor farm kid went to korea his his p.o p.o parole officer no ceo ceo chief colorado corporate officer commanding commanding officer his ceo gonna report to your ceo his ceo got blown up and he just said you know what fuck it and he took the guy's dog tags and then he blew up or something and then the guys found him and they go oh you're Don draper he goes yeah interesting and then the rest he just gets a job on Madison Avenue and the hits all a lie and it's fun because people try to figure him out he's trying to pretend the whole

time but it's got to be so fun it's like Jean Valjeuil you become a new person who's Jean Valjeuil he was in Les Mis and he was in jail and he broke out and he changed his identity and became the police chief this is a character a real guy this is Les Mis et Raub it's a the film fiction play whatever fish mammal whatever whatever yeah but great great tale ah okay i never saw Les Mis well it's the the singing is is a little off-putting and and gay but uh the movie the story is is killer wow great story isn't it like a opera is that Les Mis it's a musical opera yeah yeah definitely a lot of singing what's the fandom of the opera his face is fucked up i can't follow any of this stuff i think that's about seal ah the singer just from a rose on a thorn i hated

see hated seal god he was garbage well he was plowing clume though that seems like a lot of fun i guess but even that i'm still it's so just from a rose is on a rose did you know that what it says i'd rather hear this that's my kind of seal yes seal of approval yes sealed asshole um sealy posh torpedo cam sealy um luke diddles yeah luke kittles kittles kittles kittles kittles bits i've told you that's the uh that's the live act i might come back as luke kittles i like it now we gotta figure out how to get rid of you what do you think aids monkey pox scurvy maybe it just did old i don't know disappeared car wreck covid's not no one's buying covid anymore didn't even kill biden yeah and the queen oh i mean she died but not from covid i don't think i don't think so

either i think she was under a car wrenching um but yeah i don't know how do you disappear ship wreck something like that at sea is good i love to see we'll get you a boat act we'll get you a boat gig and then impractical jokers maybe aruba yeah aruba gone missing there that's big so yeah i'll disappear and come back in a year sometimes i want to disappear you ever think like let's just fuck it ah all the time the spots and the auditions and the podcast piling on to me jerry i can't breathe it's horrible i know you got and you gotta put them out you got and they never stop you go you go hey i got a good clip cooking and then three days later you go all right let's find another thing to embarrass myself with and you're like i'm out of things to say i got nothing else and it's

like the chris roger i ever tell you at the time yes you told me right i told it all what about if we kill you where you're a hero that's even better like you save a lady oh i'd love to save a lady we get a down syndrome kid girl we put her in the street you run in i hit you with the beamer everybody wins this is nice i like this i got the kid i wrap him up and then i'm like yes yes kids already like that so if we grab the kid take care of him and then i say be well once more into the night dear tits or whatever there you go i'll see you down see i'll film the whole thing and uh we'll put that puppy on uh tic tac yeah that's not bad and then uh some time passes and here i come time passes but i slowly i i really do i think about moving to the woods we talk about my blood

pressure i think it would just sink if i went up to the woods walked in the mountains one of these mountain people no doubt about it you get up in the berkshire as we get you a beard and uh one of those thermoses of coffee you're a different guy a flannel an axe i like that thermos and uh i just meditate people come and see me and i tell them of the wisdom of uh the asshole and then see you later i love it i love the idea of uh being like where is joe then like an axe hits a tree and like there he is you know you're you're so good you're like cast away you know how to do all the shit now you can make a tent and uh and a trap i'm sure we've talked about this before but i always thought it was a little farfetched that even after however many years he's on there or that he can

spear a fish from like 25 feet away direct hit from like yeah i guess it's a little little like he should be standing over like i'm sure he can do it yeah but the idea that he's just like right it's just outrageous i guess you know there's no phone there's no newspaper there's no laptop so you got the 10 000 hours maybe i don't know i suppose so i'm a cynical asshole but but i hear you i here's a thought i had i was watching this documentary about dolphins mm yeah they rape right oh big time nice that's why i watched and there was a guy on there who's like a dolphin trainer blah blah blah but he was a waiter at this marine land sea world type place and his boss caught him just staring at the dolphins through the fence and he goes what's up he goes i just love

these dolphins i want to train him and he goes be your waiter and he goes i know but he's just staring at him and eventually he goes all right well i'll train you to train the dolphins long story short if we had phones back then this is the 70s would he have looked at those dolphins for hours interesting yeah probably not that's what worries about the phone how many things i used to skateboard all day you ran you played sports you did all these things but if we had a phone we might have not gotten our ass up to do those things yes i mean it's it's it's like the gum sales the gum sales well i think we talked about this before once the gum sales have plummeted oh is that right because everyone's in line looking at their phones whoa so no one's looking at the gum oh you're

blowing my tits fatty gum and candy through the toilet because that was impulse that's what you did you stood in line you waited then you went hey gum i'll get some gum when i get up there but they're not looking at the gum they're looking at the cum they're on porn yeah gum is out gum is out gum is in my ass i'm always and i chew it with it we could blow a gum bubble with your butt oh patreon um wow the gum sale that's big jerry you're blowing my fat tick off well yeah and tick i'm not on tiktok fortunately but well i have this thing now where you sit around thinking about a career and you should like what should i be doing and then my go-to is look at the anytime an indecisive moment i'm like let me look at instagram maybe

there's a message i should write back yes and uh it's just horseshit it's it's horseshit and i have that with writing i'll be right i used to write for an hour top to bottom and now i go i can't crack this joke let me see the phone yes that's horrible i'm never gonna get there if i just check the phone yes well i i talked with this before my writing method in the old days i'd go to starbucks and sit in front of the mirror so anytime you weren't writing you're just looking at yourself like look at your scumbag but i don't even look at myself because who could yeah i just look at instagram and twitter all day did you get in trouble for cracking the mirror not twitter so much okay uh that's a great move looking at the i don't want to see myself it was

big yeah the wife tried to bring a mirror in during fucking i said no thanks tits really tuts coming those panties yes that'll shut her up nice now i can think about it's coming in panties the way you're talking oh yeah squish it in there a little bit she doesn't wear them yeah just a maxi pad whoa it's hard to penetrate but uh yeah yeah that's big the mirror thing but yeah the phone i was just thinking if this guy if i didn't if i didn't uh and plus hold on i'm rambling but the phone not only is it addictive and you keep checking it it's also news yes death school shooting police beat up a guy uh so it's not only just addictive it's also negative addictive yes and then the material the jet i hate comedy i don't like right any longer

because every time i look at my phone it's like what'd you say what'd he say what'd you say scooper boop shimmy boop how long you've been together how long you're dating it's a lot of like i can't stand it jerry i know your whole feed is gone it used to be just norm mcdonald and labia and now it's stavros yeah i missed the old instagram of sunsets and buildings yeah you know tits or whatever sure sure but that's the time we're living it but for us at least we're adults we've lived that we can recognize that kids have no chance no chance they're fucked they are fucked because you would sit around and make fun it was like your old bit you would have to go we got a broomstick and we got some lube let's figure it out yes and now you go against a broomstick

and a lube i'll look at my phone yeah yeah that's tough ah yeah we used to invent games we used to make up stories we used to fistfight and wrestle and all this shit and climb a tree because you had to i'm pretty sure tiktok that really is china just doing research and fucking us up that's what they say you know they're allowed 40 minutes a day 40 minutes a day in china and we do it 40 minutes of not tiktok the rest of the time is tiktok yeah i read a thing or heard a thing i think it was on real time they said uh these american kids are on tiktok at minimum 90 minutes a day or 100 minutes 100 minutes a day they said what's that an hour that's an hour and 40 whoo that's that's low ball that's and that's a child that's a child six seventh grade hot that's

because that's not counting you might time they're on instagram and twitter and whatever i don't think the kids are on twitter though yeah yeah but that that is uh that's alarming harrowing yes not any tits what's the other word i said earlier veal uh veal veal yeah patrick holbert was viral viral viral yeah yeah viral demyla what was her name venus venus yes women are from there no who is the jim carrey flexi vira demyla oh yeah the bodybuilder has been living color oh yeah i think it was vira i'm sure that's vira demyla or something like that oh it was so offensive all right i'm sure talk like this and yes mrs dow fire i'm sure is is stepping in that territory well mrs dow fire they're protesting the broadway what my yeah my someone i know was like up in arms like posting

about it because it's transphobic but it's so great i don't want to go down this no i don't either but i didn't know we're attacking uh mrs d but there's no trans in mrs dow fire i don't even understand it yeah there's no surgery it's just a one a man dressed like a woman to see his kids there's a drive-by fruiting vera demylo yeah there it is thank you yeah i nailed it hey folks Tuesdays with stories brought to you by athletic greens please send us some more of this stuff because i am hooked i love it it's so good and i'm not even just saying that because it's written here athletic greens was the morning booster i didn't even know i needed just scoop shake and have alongside your morning coffee or oj when you're too lazy to take your shelf of vitamins just drink

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that's at that's athletic greens dot com slash Tuesdays check it out folks i'm a legit fan hey folks Tuesdays is brought to you by better help when life gets you feeling overwhelmed work with a therapist can make you more prepared to take on everything that life throws right near yin yang we love therapy we got big al but look sometimes you can't find the time to go all the way over there put a mask on go down on them it's a whole thing now you can do it from home zoom whatever you got better help is the therapy option it's convenient flexible affordable and entirely online fill out a brief questionnaire get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist for no additional charge easy peasy japanese if you want if you want to live a more

empowered life therapy can get you there visit better help one word dot com slash Tuesdays today they get 10% off your first month that's better help hlp.com slash Tuesdays get on it all right well i should get into something yeah i got some stuff i got some stuff that was a good digress or an alive grass um so uh wacky experience i was in miami oh great comedy town yeah great club great staff they were so giving and generous and sweet and helpful i mean it's got to be one of the best comedy club crews it's run by a guy this guy justin and his wife melissa and they're they're they're on it they just efficient they anything you need they kill you or they help you and all they get all these guys coming into miami these i don't want to say names

but a lot of light runners and divas and high maintenance queefs and so when you when we come in there and we go i had like a bag of almonds and a coffee they go holy shit and you do your time holy hell and you shake hands after you know so they they like us and but the crowds jerry they're just not into bits no they're so tough i've only got a couple shows miami my whole life but i think i've heard this about them they're nightclub party people so they wait till the last minute they want to see the best offer yes they want to go okay the dance club i guess we'll go see this asshole and look we we had gays there we sold it out it was great but you still get your miamians who got the tits out the crispy tits the diddles and bits and they're going you know

high heels on hoop who's this i'm bored where's the blow and that's it that's the show so it is tough you're running with weights on and i remember being like you have to adapt like the first show you're like jesus i got my ass kicked out there you have to be louder you have to say fuck more and you have to engage them it's like a puppy we go hey you gotta shake your keys right key west so it was tough and then i was so excited to come back to new york and just do a set at the seller and you're like oh this is this is comedy yes but it was tough but my point is i'm sitting there on saturday afternoon got to show it six sitting there saturday afternoon and i go boy j leno broke three ribs and a femur or whatever did you hear about this no this is this is removed

from the face burning face burning is over he's all cleared up oh burning man this is a motorcycle accident oh this guy is what 80 he's still gonna flood a white hair by the way uh so he's he's cracked up but i go god damn j leno is a fucking he's like a stunt guy so what how he sorry he was on a motorcycle and he hit some sand or some shit he hit like a barrier on accident and just flipped over about 38 times and that chin just put a pothole in the in the road god well pick it up and send my way all right yeah so it was uh it was it was ugly okay it's terrible more chins than the chinese store phone book that's a classic oh i see i threw it at you but uh either way i'm like god damn j leno is a madman so i text jerry i'm alone i'm lonely i'm in miami i have a jewish energy around me and i

just go j leto might be the toughest guy on the planet i don't know i'm just throwing it out there okay sometimes you gotta grab your sack under your skirt and just squeeze oh god the hand smell yeah yeah i was thinking about that oh jeez so i go all right texted him he doesn't write back par for the course i'm an idiot dumb text i hate myself so you got your phone out you're laying on a hotel bed so i just go let me see what's going on with the old porn hub okay as you do and uh that's why i'm not buying gum so i go oh this is a hot lady i start jerking it you know as you do and i'm about to finish phone rings okay jerry wow first phone call ever so i come oh my god uh jerry seinfeld on your phone right on there i'm like my dick's out my skirt's on the floor i'm freaking out did

you screenshot well i would but it's it's a bbc right under him you know it's like a giant black dick and then jerry's face like you know so uh not not a great time for a screech and i wanted to answer it you know so i'm like ah i trip over my heels i'm walking around the apartment i pull my pants up and i go hello you know and he goes hey what's shaking and i go hey good how are you and uh you know the first two minutes are shaky like how are you how are you what are you up to i'm in miami what are you up to i'm in la all right but then we talk for like an hour and ten minutes what hour and ten here swear to god flip i mean we covered everything left right up down queef jizz anal semen kooks the hand did the hand come up yeah i came up ah boy i covered for you

i said he's a little down z he's got autism his mom's gay oh other hand smell no he didn't read it didn't even think about it didn't even come up but we we talked about collin's show didn't come up i said ah chris d was there i said this guy was there and you're all good okay great you're good whoo wow yeah i mean so what are you talking to you saying all miami crowds are crazy and does he say oh my god i remember being there in 88 totally he's like i did that in prod i was like i was just in zany's like he's like whoa i did zany's man i forgot about that place and it was just it was so normal and we covered everything we we disagreed on a few things we there was some pushback wow he loves the clips loves clips i don't want to give too much i don't like it's a private

conversation but i was talking about the louis thing where that video of louis going around going like ah these clips they're the ruining comedy whatever and he was like i like the clips that's crazy is he looking at the clips on instagram oh yeah watching clips oh yeah jerry seinfeld is on instagram that's what you're trying to tell me yes wow he goes how is south africa he knew i went to south africa wow i mean i have an account oh yeah wow because some of these celebrity types they have burner accounts that's true what's shaking but if you look at his it's cars it's it's actually shit he likes right you know it's not like some fat lady in Idaho going oh i'll put up a master of my domain clip you know it's it's his shit and so great combo and he goes hit me up two weeks i'll be back

in new york he's like i'm dying in LA this movie set i need some kind he's like he's watching podcast oh he's making the movie yeah he's editing so he's like i'm in LA i want to kill myself i need i need some comics around wow wow and then we talked about uh i was like so you're back out on the road i saw he's doing the beacon we talked about hamilton how great his new stuff is and yes he's like i'm back in the beacon and i was like well what are you doing you put a special out then covid hit then you did the movie he's like i got nothing i'm dying out there it was great he's like i'm building it back up and it's brutal wow well he could do a special of his old stuff again he could number four yeah well he knows how to get a paycheck uh re-up he certainly does but why

i can't believe jerry's watching clips he's watching clips he's watching pods we talked about this pod we talked about that pod and he's like referencing stuff that we talked about certain specials lately and wow very interesting great guy and he goes hit me up well get lunch and i go well give me a window i don't want to just hit you up randomly guys he's like i have no window i'm too busy just hit me up and we'll make it work wow so this is blowing my mind that jerry seinfeld is sitting and watching stand-up clips and he thinks it's good yeah well he doesn't he doesn't think every clip is good obviously he just thinks it's a good idea for your career oh i guess for your career yeah but in general it does seem not great for comedy for sure oversaturated

and definitely clogged up yes clogged up and uh and now people can sell tickets from a clip of being like front-facing whatever you call it going hey my sister's ass i mean i just saw a guy yeah there's some people very little experience with a lot of followers yes yes well don't you think the cream like it's an ecosystem don't you think it kind of cleans itself out over a few years hopefully it remains to be seen because yeah i mean some of these people that are like selling out from tiktok we'll see i mean i imagine a lot of that people they won't get people to come a second time yes so we'll see we'll see it remains to be seen but it does take years for this to evolve and flesh itself out but like i said if you go on the road there's guys that don't headline

but they want to headline they want the big viral clip so they're on stage doing 20 minutes going hey what are you what are you from what are you doing yeah and that makes for a funky show well i'll tell you a lot of these clip crowd work how long you've been dating people just go to miami because that's what they want they don't want an act so go down there you'll get 800 clips of a of a cuban woman going and that'll that'll go viral but uh i'd like to do a set you know yes boy this is unbelievable pretty great he was eating too which is very like so comfortable interesting yeah and ride bikes together and hang out and ride riding in cars with boys i mean this something else i'm so proud of myself because i played the long game fatty you know i could have

been like oh what are you doing now what are you wearing what are you up to what are you eating right but i played it out i waited i texted him once every four months which was hard you want to text him every day and go i love you kiss me of course i didn't i waited and it worked close to the vest thank you good investment but uh yeah so it worked out and now we're getting lunch next week i think i'm always scared he's gonna see our pot and be like what the fuck is this i'm terrified he's gonna be like what the hell are they doing here this is this is mine this is me he's fine good for the goose is good for the gander yes it's uh nothing's anything wrong with that but it's all in the rearview mirror with him and the show all pipes and uh well we love the

show jerry come on anytime yes yes wow i threw that out there and boy that was a fun dismissal i was like hey have you ever want to come on the uh on our pot he was like well you know i got a what is that what is that a ukraine is that a war going on so but i get it he's a busy guy and this doesn't help him doesn't move the needle for him big guy busy guy but i think he likes to participate i think so comics and you want to be included a lot of times these celebrity people they stop getting included because people go i don't want to reach out we talked about this before with this a lot of people go hey he's too busy he's got stuff going on i've seen it i've seen it with people old friends who are like i can't bother him now ah good point i think that happens a lot

with success people get intimidated by success so they're like i don't want to reach out yes yes and i think you want to stay connected like a lot of these george cluny's will be like hey south park can you write me in i want to stay hip right right you know south park is like george cluny we're just a bunch of potheds from colorado but the show is funny so they want to look cool right in the know it's like when uh brad pit was on jackass oh yeah yeah you know he's like hey i'm brad pit but i'd still like to be fun i love brad pit ah the greatest deep love for him i think he's so attractive and so talented and just charming charming likable and he seems like one of us he loves money python he hates his kids i totally relate to him i didn't know he had

kids oh yeah he's like nine kids nine kids half of them are from uganda and uh argentina and lujan well uh yeah he's just i watched oceans 11 on the plane it's a fun film so hunky chewing the apple oh the apple and i think he's got a lollipop at one point cool as a cucumber very cool yeah you want to go hey julia what are you doing cluny go go for the pit man have you ever found julia roberts attract i don't get it i don't understand like i mean even the line where matt damon's like this is the best part of my day and it's julia roberts and i'm like is it she's six seven she's got a face like my dad yeah she's a little angley she's all teeth i don't get it i just um i don't want to sit here and say hey she's fugly fuck her fine actor i just don't see her as a sex symbol i

agree it's it if it was your mom's friend you'd be like oh that's not bad but it's uh i think i'm also it's shoved down our assholes where we have to be like she's america's sweetheart she's america's beautiful woman and i'm like that makes me like her less yeah i want the the street crack whore who i'm not supposed to like then i find some beauty in her like meg ryan is 1000 times more attractive than julia roberts meg ryan is uh but have you seen her lately no i'm sure it's yeah looks like an old box turtle yeah it's not great i've heard but the work done but 80s ryan forget about it yeah yeah yeah that's not bad joe versus the anal and uh sleepless in quieftown top gun oh yeah top gun she's just so hot and cute well these people are getting the work done

Gwen Stefani a simon from america's got town or whatever the hell that's called what is that the one i'm thinking of idol american idol oh simon uh cowl cowl yes simon rex simon peg simon cowl a lot of simon simon says simon all simon yeah but yeah uh it's one of the chipmunks i believe as well theodore simon alvin theodore simon yeah alvin yes yes i remember david cross was in that everybody gave him shit because he was like this artsy fartsy guy who was like oh you're doing that gig all you're doing that you fucking sell out then he did alvin the chipmunks everybody's like wow what's going on now they're crossy sarah saw a clip of him she said it was amazing she was like unbelievable oh really dark and hilarious oh good back to his roots well he was

brilliant guy yeah super funny well clearly but i saw him on hot soup one time and i was quite disappointed i remember that but i think maybe he's uh digging back in and getting in there good good we love to have him back he's a talented quieft now now i'm hogging now i gotta throw back to old uh greeny over here the green giant well i got one that uh it's fresh and my asshole is still bleeding yeah i gotta tread lightly i mean this is a this is an edgy episode here with the jerry talk and is it i did a corporate gig here oh i can't wait to hear about a corgi a corporate at corgi at a certain theme park with a lot of power wait a minute the powerful theme park disney land yeah well it's a universal studios magic kingdom disney world the world all in the thing

and uh gig a dizzy world yeah i'm afraid well people think i've dealt with this my whole career people think of me as a clean comic since i started i think because i'm very uh i'm very kind and thoughtful and nice and sweet also you don't you you you talk about sex and shitting but you don't veer into dicey water you got no racial or you know uh trans jokes not too much racial not too much trans i mean i've had a couple race race racial jokes in my day but it never is uh like oh boy we're going into this now you don't have a school shooting chunk no i do have a school shooting bit oh you do yeah i got a couple all right well maybe you've changed i got dandu dice clay over here but it's corporate so that doesn't even matter i mean corporate is pg

it's squeaky pg it's disney yeah world they're like we got some christians out there i mean this is crazy and you go out see over here exactly they should have gotten yeah bark at sea or steve rogers or you know a magician that was two different farts that was you hit two different buttons it was like yeah um but yes you get the call i got an email from uh a booker that we like from new york city who's moved on to greener pastures and uh it's one of these one of these gigs that's uh you know you know me i like to have a schedule and i got things planned out you like a routine creature i have yes so it's not necessarily i mean i like a routine but it was scheduling i like two weeks out this is what we're doing i like to go all right this day i'm

flying here and i'm about to leave for three weeks i'm going to key west for five days denver for three days gig harbor for four days houston for a day then lafayette for a day then back to houston for two days that's a whole trip yikes what an excursion so it's all planned so i were recording ahead of time whatever so i got that all planned and i'm also in the middle of a seven-week trip here where i did cleveland then austin then uh mohegan son me that was rough that always is so you get the offer and i'm i'm happy in the middle of this long run to have a gig that i don't have to fly i'm driving to mohegan son oh that's true how nice is a driving love drive takes the edge off it feels almost like it's not a gig exactly the flying is really what fucks you

exactly so i got a nice drivey gig in there then i get the email we're looking for a couple comics to do uh 45 minutes total two comics splitting 45 so you're like 20 25 that's easy money that's nothing and the budget is i'm not going to say numbers here first of all is one of these ones where it's like the budget is between blank and blank and there's just a huge amount between the two blanks oh i hate that now you're making me the weirdo just give me the top number exactly it's between x and y i'm like i'll take y yeah why not exactly x is half of y yes i hate my x i kind of like her all right but um another one so i remember i bumped into her that time she's a great girl i i joke yeah i keyed we're kidding i'm joking too i hate her

luke kidding just kidding bidding what was it kiddles kiddles thank you sorry okay baby luke kiddles uh so it's a big money but i'm like my instinct is to be like no i don't want to fly to orlando on a monday then back on a tuesday then a key west thursday oh you got to go all the way down yes so i'm in right now as we're recording i'm in the middle of flying three out of four days monday morning fly leguardia to orlando tuesday morning orlando to leguardia thursday morning new york to key west which by the way for all the fans that are like you pre-record your piece of shits there's not that many of you there's like six yeah you know who you are you know who you are the reason i'm flying from florida back to new york just to turn around and

fly to florida is so i can be here today to record the podcast is that right yes i could have been stayed down there see what we do for you come guzzlers you know you're so ungrateful the six of you the rest of the rest of the best rest best the evil six so we should give him a name the dick six i don't know i like evil six evil six dick six is fun yeah that's it that's my comedy alter either hey i'm dick six here couldn't be back i'm i'm great an orgy you wish you had a six dick four five and a half what's a dick four um my ass dick six and and luke diddles kittles sorry kittles and dick six oh boy that should be the headline yeah but uh whatever you call it i don't i'm so bad at business so well but we appreciate you coming back as as fuck the evil

six us us guys we appreciate appreciate you i appreciate me because i believe me i'm looking i could have spent a day at disney fucking a couple kids with the years on oh you're you're bluto yeah bluto no that's poppy bluto bluto you're goofy you're gonna think i'm goofy yeah let's be honest so um tuesday's brought with stories also brought to you by manscaped boys since manscaped has already made your balls nice and fresh it's time to do something about that face i've always wanted to do that manscaped has just announced their brand new beard hedger pro kit the beard hedger gives you 20 hair cutting links all at the turn of a dial no more changing out attachments and it's waterproof so you can shave anywhere and since manscaped wants you to have all the

tools for the job they're throwing in a beard brush comb and scissors to make you look like one million bucks get 20 off and free shipping with the code tuesday's at manscaped.com that's 20 off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code tuesday's the manscaped beard hedger pro kit the premier solution to face grooming i could have stayed and driven and stopped in miami or whatever the fuck yes yes miami flew back turned around tomorrow so anyways i don't want to do the gig but it's why amount of money of course and then they want sarah and i so i can't deny sarah half of why because half of why is what she makes in a year yeah boy good husband good husband excellent wow all these chromosomes i know and i'm missing a couple

so i go okay i sent him to my agent i'm like i sent him to tommy who's uh just uh love the pooch he is number one good egg you know he reps um uh r u garbage and they say we're gonna sick the pooch on him i like that yeah hey we screw the pooch he's he's the best he really is the uh what do you call it the a pit apex apex of what you want working for you he's a he's a fan he knows where i'm gonna be yes he routes for me good routing i got two pecs but he's a good and he's normal because a lot of these suits out there there are what's up sport how you doing there tiger we're gonna get you some hot shows tonight oh you don't want that gig you're like actually i want that gig no that's i already turned them down you're like fuck off who the hell are you yes plus

everywhere i go every booker and manager is like your agent's piece of shit that's a good sign i'm like this you're damn right yeah he's a pit bull the pooch he's the pooch so i send it to him and he and he gets why right away yeah why he's like well we're taking why you sons of onions of course you threw it out there and it's at disney world they own espn and and the world i think they own me so worldwide of sports wide world of sports now i got a tread care here because they could shoot me they're scary well they hate the pot already have you done the gig well i did it okay okay well then the money's in the bank there sloppy jalopy i did it and it wasn't pretty so we fly down to orlando disney world and i hate disney when i

i gotta tell you when i see a man with a fucking mickey mouse shirt or a goofy shirt if he special needs i let it slide oh special of course yes needs that's one of your needs but everywhere you look there's just guys with hi mickey and i'm like you are a fucking cuck simp whatever word they're using it's embarrassing there was one guy i i hate to be the all these roast jokes you look like a pedophile which i never make sense to me that's a lot of that but this guy shooter too he's where yes that too he's wearing a mask he has a mickey mouse baseball cap he has a mickey mouse neck pillow oh he has a mickey mouse leather jacket like leather sleeves jacket over a mickey mouse shirt it's a lot of mickey he has mickey mouse

an old man it's mickey it's he's got mickey mouse sneakers i shit you know sneakers mickey mouse sneakers shirt coat or jacket hat and neck pillow who's fucking this man nobody's by himself okay i hope so i mean this is but that's even creepier if he had a child i want to him you go oh he's the mickey dad yes yes good dad but this is mickey bad i mean i'm just looking at him like this guy he said this guy's a pedophile oh yeah there's gotta be i mean he's wearing the hole he's wearing bait he's asking for it you know it's like going into a dog house with a with a salami on your neck born baby ah just dick tracy which is what that had just come out when i went to disney which was fun ah good movie is it i can't remember i liked it i liked it but i think it's

one of the worst reviewed movies in history well they go all in in that movie the costumes the light it all looks great it looks like the comic i know all i remember is the trailer which is so crazy because i was like eight years old but it was like it was one of these when they did tracy tracy tracy and then the guy says you mind if i call you dick and i remember thinking that was like hilarious that's cool it's fun i haven't seen that a long time it's kind of noir too and he's got the watch he goes hey dick tracy we got a 142 at disney land he goes oh the guy with the mickey hat you know what i was thinking it would be a fun patreon as we watch old movie trailers of movies we watched as kids oh i love that trailers i watched a good fellas trailer recently

it's in a world guy it's like oh really of the mob it's so weird Pablo yeah in there they're like 11 minutes those old trailers are crazy any jays i gotta focus we see the mickey guy mickey guy pedophile we get down to disney world and it's the show is in disney world which is the size of two manhattan's that's how big disney world is is that right yes it's the magic kingdom it's the animal kingdom it's like there's a uh technology a future land or something there's apcot center there's star wars shit tower of terror yes it's massive i think they got rid of splash mount oh is that right yeah too wet oh how about that we're out of water that's right what's that song of the south is like a super racist old disney project that takes place on a plantation that was huge oh why

just get rid of the song okay can't keep the splash i mean song of the south is the name of the movie it's not a song of the south i know but what does that have to do with a big all the all the characters are from song of the south i had no idea there's a character called tar baby yeah yeah it's rough tar was nominated for best picture that's true wasn't great yeah but anyways is god i gotta speed it up i'm sorry sorry i'm cutting you off here with splash mount no cut off so we cut off short so we land and the gig you're just you know it's gonna be rough but the whole time you're like it's 45 minutes and it's a shit ton of money yes you get there you check into the hotel and it's like down season because it's like whatever it's jen it's a one guy so nobody's really around

it's very quiet get to the hotel we fuck we're feeling good whatever we meet the guy like the our handler guy it gives us the run through shows you the room and the room is like it's a bar restaurant 150 people it's a bunch of companies merging to once no one really knows each other ah this is already a nightmare it's tough so we get there and you look at it and i'm just going like that this looks like every gig i did starting out from 2000 to 2006 nights at columbus vfw fundraiser bar gig elk's lodge yeah it looks like that so but instead of you know 40 bucks i'm making why yeah why so you sit there you go okay this will be fine you know we get there we're hanging out sarah's getting nervous and it's squeaky clean pg now if this was just do your act i wouldn't even think

about it of course because you know we're doing an hour every night without even flexing muscle no you just do an hour but did you have to go back and do a little research on the old hits yeah so that's the thing about corporate is there's so many jokes that you're like this is i'm like oh this is suicide i talk about suicide a lot i talk about come a lot i got a butthole chunk all right jizz shit piss i mean it's not good so you start going through and then i hate these gigs because you have to make a job you're all adults so they don't want dirty but now you're saying wuss instead of pushing yeah and they're like no referencing sex wow but we have it's such a stupid that we have sex we like sex it's fun we're adults we're adults it's all we think about let's talk about it

exactly so we go up there and it's one of these ones where you're like come on up the back elevate we're gonna feed you in here okay and i don't want to give too many details but the guy's very nice he's had a couple cocktails oh that helps so i guess the guy comes in he goes all right you gotta be pleased like if you go a little off don't worry but we do got some christians here it's a work Christian i guess better than al-qaeda and you want to get that cash so you're like all right let's just be why so there's there's a meal there's a steak and the thing so you're eating and then it's one of these gigs where the people running it for the company just keep coming in the back hey we're very excited it's gonna be gray you're gonna be funny

and you're like okay just we're freaking out please let us be yeah yeah yeah so they're there they're telling us and then a guy for the company goes hey this is a funny gag i think this is funny oh boy i've been telling everyone joe koi is here oh a more famous guy a huge guy joe koi does arenas he's massive he just did the forum for a special so he's like isn't that funny so he's like just go with it just if you hear me saying that don't worry it's just a funny joe and i'm like your joke is that you're telling everyone they're about to see a hugely famous comic yeah then we get this drop off and then you're gonna bring out a not famous at all comic right but maybe a better comic the maybe hurts but well i'm trying to be uh flowery for the camera i see i don't want to just

dive in and go that guy you know whatever he's great i mean i don't know joe koi's act i worked for them years ago sweet guy he's doing arenas i'm sure he's hilarious he's doing his thing but i mean we're best buds you can say hey all right i had a better comedian i mean i think it's implied i mean i mean sure i mean if you were to keep with reagan i'd be like yeah and you're way better i would look at the camera and wink but wow i'm just trying to keep it copacetic diplomatic thank you i see well why i love your koi but yeah i'm telling the crowd koi pun hey uh koi's coming and i'm like you want to say what are you even saying why do you think that would be a great idea horrible idea it's like coming out at a music festival and be like hey don't worry the Beatles reunion's up and

two right and then go in here's uh god's back yeah semi colon or whatever what's it called semi sonic semi sonic we got dishwalla coming out folks heads up it's like you're fucking me you're already going in and now he's putting a butt plug in your mouth and and it's just the sound is bad i gotta we'll put some video on the patreon i mean it's just everybody's talking about drinking they're bringing out desserts and they're like we're gonna start early i go okay great and sarah i'm just telling sarah like you're jumping on a grenade by the way no judgment here you know what i mean if you're at a club you're like you're doing that joke right doing that crowd work you're doing that fucking old line this is like do my act do milton burrell's

yeah take your tits out this is survival mode exactly i'm like no judgment let's just get out of here good good good uh note at the beginning because you know you start getting hacky and you're like oh am i getting a hacky but you're like it's dizzy world i'm joe koi i'm dying here oh dude i'll i'll juggle and put my panties on my head sure jizzing them so um she goes up and right oh it's one of these but they don't even say she's a comedian uh they go okay it's time for the entertainment here is it's one of these ones too it's like i don't want this guy to get mad but i'm like i texted the frenetic spelling of her name i never even read it i just did his her name completely wrong yeah what do you say tomache he said tamalosh okay the talamash

it's not horrible and when you said just say it with confidence because sometimes people go it's sara yeah that's worse so there's not and the guy's very very nice it couldn't be nicer but never says we have comedy wow it's literally just here comes the entertainment okay references joe koi and then says sara tamalosh yeah so she has to walk out and literally say hello i'm a comedian wow and they're like okay and she does okay be the while there's it's all glass behind us there's firework there's like disneyworld fireworks going off behind her whoa it's so distracting nobody's paying attention people are texting a guy's heckling he's like talk about the finance department then hides behind a pillar oh yeah and like just texting the food is still out there's a bunch of

people behind pillars that can't even see they're not even trying to see or they're just talking like this yeah and she's gotta do 20 and i'm like don't you gotta do all 20 do all 20 you gotta get that that x check so uh it's just okay okay okay is good in that environment it's tough though and i'm going i'm in the back going like this i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna get them you guys on the grenade yeah i got this are you got some ideas some snipes some riffs some zings couple riffs and she had some good ones too she's like by the way i just want to piggyback on the ceo you're all getting cars the cars in the park there yours if you don't see a key underneath just kick open the window that's good it's good but very little laughter yeah deaf ears kind of like this oh

wow oh boy and she has a little crowd work which does better yeah but it's tough okay but in my mind i'm like i grew up on these gigs i'm gonna really hit i'm gonna do the liar liar fat ass baldy whatever yes i'm out of here really rip she brings me up like a soldier she does all 20 brings me up tomolosh you know these ones where you're like here comes the first line here we go i know it too well get ready for this folks put it right my ass and i hit him with it you get back and just like this uh that that goes from here it brings you right down to their confidence level immediately from y straight to x to oh yeah oh boy his nose and i just you feel that sweat trickle yeah you feel flush yes that's my a bit royal flush that was my opener and then i'm going like yeah it's always

nice doing comedy with fireworks going off and the people like this oh baby doll i mean brutal and it's one of these ones where you're bombing and you think i'm doing 25 that's nothing yeah third of what i normally do and you look over and it just says 418 and you go for i'm at four you got 21 minutes to go i'm fucked and then it's just this thing that feeling where it turns into anger actually yes because you're like this is the feeling that makes me i know it is when you can feel the audience going this guy sucks 100 they hired a guy that sucks yes and you just want to play video you want to pull down and put on your special and be like watch this you want to pull out your resume look at this tonight show yes yes here's here's colin quinn talking about me 100

what do you think about that and you want to go you suck you guys are bad you're not getting it nothing is you're not absorbing anything i'm saying and you went in with a bad attitude they go oh here we got some bullshit entertainment here it was bro i mean like a lot like this thing a lot of like this doing the lot of that and then just like this yes yes it's just horrible so i started like talking about the company i'm trying to make fun of them i'm trying to make fun of the place yep zilch impervious wow and then everyone's while you hear this that's not bad that's okay that makes it worse it's horrible it's a bomb a bomb and i look and i still have i just had one timer going from when she started because i'm trying to get to that 45 i look it's at 36 and the guy wait a

minute you did over no no 45 minutes total oh total okay i got you as a team we're at 36 and i just see the guy who was like talking our point guy who just disappeared he was like in the back hanging out he's gotta hide he like reappears like this and just goes oh i know it and you know the company is going we fucked up we thought and i even said this on stage i was like people think they want comedy they always they always think it but they never do and i gotta give a hats off to the the book or our friend because she was a number she was aces she was up there laughing and she was really understood how brutal it was yeah and so uh we didn't get much judgment for her she was great and i'm grateful thank you and then you just go all right thank you good night everybody

and it's like pitter patter of claptor then i couldn't hear but i think the guy came up and kind of shit on us a little bit yeah that was crazy we go in the back back to where our food well i'm like livid at this point sweating i'm like we gotta get out of here i can't face these people gotta get out but you want to be a pro so you're like all right we gotta wait and just wait for them to come say something what do you mean who's they can't you leave you're done the point guy oh you want to be a pro and we were talking to him and then there's this other woman there was like three people back there hanging out and then we're there for about 10 minutes trying to be professional thank you a grateful sorry i hope it's okay we wait about 10 minutes no one's

coming back he can't face you i realize they're also in the same room i'm not i don't want to talk to them yeah which hey i'll take it you'll take it but it's also like it's also a tough pill to swallow it's also a little bit i want to choose my adjective wisely here but it's a little uncouth yeah to not come back and say hey thanks a lot sorry it was tough out there yeah i mean before the show we're best buds right so now it feels like these people are mad at me of course literally nobody comes back to say good job thanks a lot you need anything yeah and before they were like if you need a meal your meal cooled down we'll get you another meal we'll bring you a dessert yeah it shows the power of bombing slash killing you kill they come back there they hop you up on the shoulders

hey hero and if you bombed they're like i can't even look up in the eye i mean no one looked at us and we just snuck out the service that like the the they call it cast they don't call them employees at disney ah part of the cast that's that's cringy so we walk in the kitchen we're like we're leaving the back way and then there's a bunch of kitchen employees being like you can't be back here this is cast only and i stood my ground i was like i'm not walking through that room wow we took this elevator down earlier and and this is the way we're leaving and he's like well i gotta get my manager and i said that's great i'll be right here and they're like we can't have you in the kitchen i was like listen i used this elevator earlier i'm using it again go find the manager i don't give a

shit yeah i'm not going out there yeah and then the manager came i was like here i get and he was like okay i'll take you down he took us down we went we just walked laps around this big water thing we just did laps around the place changed our outfits put our baseball hats on i just walked about five miles literally strolling around just like that was horrible yeah you gotta walk it off that's how bad that stink is it's on you you gotta get rid of it oh it was so bad and it's one of those things if they said we have you gotta do one more next week same money i would be like keep the wow i don't need that again why because we love you and i'm talking i that was followed by mohegan sun which is also very tough so i'm on a streak of i did hilarities which was

unreal all sold out great shows cap city the next week sold out magical hot and now i did mohegan and uh i'm mohegan i love and i appreciate them but it's tough that's a tough room followed by the corporate so i'm heading to denver now and i can't wait i need i need that denver to wash over me well then it's like a silkwood shower after a diddle i mean you need that but a couple silver linings if i may i'm trying to first of all the hilarity of the juxtaposition that you're at the magical happiest place on earth yes and you're the saddest guy on the planet and they made you the saddest guy brutal brutal so that's fun like you get out of there you're walking around with sarah and there's this kid's i love it here you got fat mickey shirt and a neck pillow guy and he's

in cloud nine and you're cloud six so then did it bring it kind of bonds you with your wife a little absolutely yes you've been through the trenches you're you went to nuremberg over here yes i said i love you and i'm grateful for you thank god for you the wind beneath my wings the whole thing tongue in her asshole coming around these so that was good but it was funny i was texting sam before and i was like these gigs that i don't even think it's worth the money it's great money but i don't even know if it's worth it and he's like well it's not worth it until you walk off stage you're done and yeah check and you're like that was worth it but even still i'm like god it's just though them looking at you going this guy's not a good comic we fucked up that's what

hurts the most i did that philly gig it's like a famous bomb story where i got i not only did i get walked off stage i got fired and replaced in front of me but the uh the guy goes yeah what happened up there and i'm like i don't know i did my act and i and i was on stage bombing and i got angry too and i went that worked on the tonight show that was which is such a cunty move and i regret saying it but you're you're angry it's it's hard and you feel we got we got to wrap it up here but you feel like it's so upsetting and it's so rare now yes that you just straight up bomb like we're at a place now we perform a lot for our fans and for club even if they're not fans they know like oh this guy's something because you mostly at clubs we don't do a lot of hell gigs anymore and you also

just have those years you have chops yes you know how to do comedy so it's very very rare for me for you for anyone that's been in comedy as long as we have really to be doing jokes that are literally getting nothing nothing it's jar it's it is like a prize fight where the guy lands one and you're like oh shit he is stronger than i thought yeah or you're hitting him with your best stuff and you're like fuck it's not shaking him i didn't think he had that shit there's nothing i can do now well that's which was so fresh about comedy and i've covered this before but it's like that joke works it's like a basketball if that goes in the hoop it's two points but for some reason with our jokes the joke is a is a point score but you don't count it right it'd be like going

ah that one doesn't count you're like but it it gets two points i go ah that didn't work tonight yeah it's not it's not hooked up yeah the whole thing that's like but that's the joke it went in they go ah it doesn't matter right that's what's so frustrating about comedy but it's also it's subjective and it's an art form it's a crap it's all pipes but uh again they were very nice i personally would have come back and talked to the artist after it's a little my unprofessional but uh they were very nice and they paid us and we're grateful and uh but you got your why who i got the why baby all right good get out of there with that why actually i owed most of the why to my manager and agent put your gun the previous week's why that's the worst part yeah i'm getting any of the

money goes right away oh god but that's what they everybody goes i'm being a comedian oh you wake up at noon oh you get drunk every night oh you fuck hookers oh you do blow oh what about that i'd love to see some corporate schmuck go through that pain and that fucking just punch in the taint gut wrenching but then you you turn it off after a sarah could be like and then that happened i was like i had to be like this i don't want to hear about the gig anymore we covered it it's over we got the why and that's the end of the number we're talking about this well it's like nom you go hey hi uncle uncle jeff tell me about nom and he goes ah and you go why'd you shot a guy in the face the zipper head what are we doing here he's like ah all right sorry that's what they called

him all right we got to wrap it up uh this sometimes i think we should be doing the plugs earlier in the in the show that's what they say yeah uh this weekend lafayette friday uh houston we added a show i don't know where it's at now we're obviously recording this ahead of time but houston late show added there's probably a few tickets left for that so come out to that and uh march 31st april 1st salt lake city wise guys uh buy your tickets to that and then of course march 2nd that's before that one i'm out of order here chicago park west theater oh wow buy those please it's a thursday night one night only and then of course uh the wilbur theater april 15th those things are really that's gonna move yeah they're really moving it's exciting i saw

berkowitz he was really cool and he was like oh god he was giving me the the thing and yeah exciting and he's a he's a fun guy great guy and uh yeah so get those tickets and uh go subscribe to my youtube but to shoot another special march 6 shooting a new special that's already sold out but i need those subscribers it's all algo so hit that subscribe button on my youtube and check out the videos i'm putting a ton of shit on my youtube i saw a comment today list is raking it in with the content hey all right uh i'm all over the road mark normal comedy dot com back in the clubs but what i really want to get you to come to we added a show on friday at the vic in chicago for uh the special so hey let's get another uh round in there let's film another set come on out chicago uh get

get get a bug patreon's cooking and uh yeah see us on the road buy a shirt queef it up and uh chuck tell them about your podcast yeah i got a podcast called fun bearable with a great comic named ray herrington just put up an episode where we're coming back from new york doing a bunch of interviews and i got pulled over with no insurance oh no registration oh my god and my license was expired whoa it was quite an ordeal wow mark is your hero yeah i know right i gotta get placed as well how did you get out of it you'll find out all right all right check out his pod to hear the rest of the story right at the top of the page if you haven't heard the joe episode and the mark episode they're really fun they're pinned at the top at funbearablepod.com and uh you're going to want

to hear the story we have mark finding out about ray's and word cake yeah it was an all timer story with a lot of laughs that was killer yeah i i ate that thing uh all right well thanks for uh thanks for coming thanks for listening and uh we love you it's all paid