Tuesdays with Stories! - #494 Pickle Park

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

The boys are talking FIGHTS ladies and gentlemen! Let's make fun, let's  make love. Fights stink! Joe, Mark, Sarah and Mae get together and play  PICKLEBALL, and let's just say the old gray ...mares, they ain't what they  used to be, folks! We're talking sports injuries, fights, blood,  hospitals - we're having fun! Lights, camera, traction!   Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories   Sponsors:   - This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/TUESDAYS and get on your way to being your best self.  - To get 20% off your first order of Manscaped visit https://manscaped.com and use code TUESDAYS  - Support the show by going to www.buyraycon.com/tuesdays

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Starting point is 00:00:00 hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be chasing folks we're doing it we're here we're clear that might have been a little out for the neighbor but we're not gonna be here for a week you're off on a private jet plane yep well not private let's be honest yeah
Starting point is 00:00:49 no it's commercial but it's exciting I'm flying tonight I'm nervous I don't like doing things on a flight we're very different kinds of guys no I feel it but don't you feel like if you get there you beat the system well it feels good you know I'm flying the shows tomorrow and people gonna be livid when they find out what show I'm talking about because it happened six months ago they're very upset and he's opening for a there you go but the shows tomorrow flying in tonight I love a fly in the day before New Year's gig that's what I was meant to say because if there's if there's a delay or whatever you're just your coast I
Starting point is 00:01:26 love being at the lounge when you don't have a show that night so it feels good but I had an appointment before this and now this and then the bonus and then I got the flight starts ticking you're clicking and ticking yes hey to tick or beep well cuz I just had this last week a couple weeks ago and I alluded to it I was flying from Seattle to Houston I had to fly through Salt Lake City connection and then the initial flight was delayed so it threw it all off so then I had five hours to kill so I called my friend I know it was a mess so I called my friend Erica it was Derek's wife my friend as well and I said hey I
Starting point is 00:02:08 got yeah that's what we call him who was the first couple to do the combined name was it benefit Jaylaw J low no that is benefit benefit but what was Brangelina Brad Jalina that was big that was before that first well puff she was in like a music video with Jennifer Lopez in like the 90s right he did he no no this is a Ben Affleck well he was in a music video yeah he was he was in like one of her old ones like Jenny from the block I think it was oh yeah on a boat yes the whole video revolves around paparazzi following her yeah that like sit it was he been half like at the time yeah he was yeah it was about
Starting point is 00:02:47 her wow okay feeling her up benefit but what would he be jerk hey jerk stop bad or oh joke no jerk or or Moe yeah yeah I think jerk is better jerk is good it's gonna be all upset oh Joe's first he gets to go first jerk jerk me it works better and you get more letters I like jerk jerk jerk is good all right we're jerk yeah or Listman all right all right jerk Listman you got Clarkman that's a misprint I got a picture in here baby all right perfect get your yeah oh my god that was scary okay how about that waiter who gets a little nutty with the water oh yeah picture you like all right man I remember going to friendlies as a
Starting point is 00:03:35 kid you guys didn't have friendlies but you've you've heard of it I didn't have friends either great great ice cream Carvel no it's friendlies is that its own thing yeah friendlies got it it's Carvel sucks fuck Carvel really yeah maybe it's good whatever you guys like I like but isn't it ice cream cake yeah it's great okay well maybe it's great whatever you think you got to cut through it with a buzz saw though it's rock hard I thought it was melty well it's that bad ice cream that that gelatine kind of that Dairy Queen you know it's almost too doughy but I think Dairy Queen when I was a kid back when I was banging up in
Starting point is 00:04:23 New England or Massachusetts Dairy Queen didn't have food which blows Sarah's mind why we had ice cream only Dairy Queen got it like when I traveled it was like burgers at Dairy Queen right another Bob cut my mind was blown well they're not great burgers let's be honest it's a it's a connection to the ice they said hey we're doing all right let's throw a burger on the grill make it even more money but the burgers stink so the burgers came second it's ancillary what's that mean I wish I knew look give that a goog ancillary it's a it's a satellite or it's an extra it's an add-on okay like Chuck again there you go so
Starting point is 00:05:01 it's an ancillary burger yes yes I've still never eaten Dairy Queen it is like me providing necessary support to the primary activities it's just an add-on they figure hey we can do we get more out of this okay throw a burger on the grill gotcha well anyways I've never had one I'm sure they got tater tots over there sure fries yeah Coca-Cola how do you feel about Sonic you know it seems like fun they got a whore on a skate it's outdoors it put a tray on your window but I don't know it's all the same it's just cheesy tots whoa and they always make a big deal out of it we got the mudslide I see or whatever you're like all right
Starting point is 00:05:45 it's just sugar and jizz I don't even think they give you the tray you're thinking of vacation then I think that's like in the graduate and the vacay I don't I got a Sonic they just hand you a bag like Burger King maybe you're right that tray was always a little rickety yeah well new car new car they had the vacation but I thought of a sonic bit a visual not a bit but like a gag a video of a scene the hedgehog where you go no different guy I liked him though we do that sure I think he was messed up and then he had tails oh that's right little orange yeah yeah a lot of those scrappy dude there was always the little guy they
Starting point is 00:06:23 had with him that's me no you're you're tall jerk true well I thought of a funny bit you go to Sonic and then you order at the window the cameras over there and I go what do you want a bag of shit and a dog okay let me get this and then they go okay it's 988 and just out of habit you just go okay great and you go you slam into the building that's fun that's a good gag yeah well those Sonic guys remember them they were hot forget about it that was the biggest commercial in advertising and then everybody's like are they gay what's the deal but those guys must have made 10 mil on that yeah I think so he was a UCB guy that was the
Starting point is 00:07:00 golden that was the dream was to be like a performer and get get some commercial like pro flow progressive or the the AT&T gal yeah that's big money right there yeah that's exciting but then you're stuck as that person I guess so Matt McCarthy though remember him do I remember I talked to him quite a bit he was oh really well occasionally good good egg but look him up give him a go I mean his commercial resume is like Schindler's list it just yes too long there you go Lisbon what was I talking about so no I was at the airport there killing five
Starting point is 00:07:39 hours so I call my friend Erica Derricka sure let us to benefit which led us to wherever the fuck jerk so I call her I go I got a five-hour layover and she goes well I just happen to have gone to Target right next to the airport she goes I'll come back and scoop you up how often do you have this wow drop off through security get to the lounge and the friend is still nearby so you leave the airport what yeah because I got like four hours to kill so you gotta go back to security I know that's all I'm thinking about that's what made me think of this because today we're doing this but I got a flight that's how I felt we
Starting point is 00:08:11 went we went out to breakfast which was nice and had a nice breakfast a waffle and the thing we made out a little and then we went to the beach and walked up and down the beach yeah because it's Seattle is right on the on the coast is that right yeah well it's on a coast the coast I guess yeah coast oh we walked up and down the beach I'm skipping rock but the whole time I'm just having an anxiety attack because you're looking at the thing like I gotta go back to security is traffic gonna be gay whatever at least your pre-check no shoe off pre-check clear the whole thing the works and now there's a new thing by the
Starting point is 00:08:43 way that's like face ID oh what's this it's just popped up last night says opt in or opt out you know me I'm opting right in yeah opt in my ass I've never heard of this opt up in this digital ID right here digital ID I don't know what it is but the airport's turning into Disneyland you got the fast pass you got the or you can wait in the regular line it's just what which one is it it's like Louis bit Louis got that great bit about he had a some clay and they're like oh this could be C4 we're taking this he's like it's gonna sit here is it a bomb or is it not a bomb right like if you had a bomb at the airport they
Starting point is 00:09:18 wouldn't go like you got to make a choice here if it's really harmful get a guy with a suit on and the clamp things you know to come in there with the dog and then he walked slowly and they put it in a bin and they walk it outside that's a bomb yes or me Saturday night yes either way which one is it yeah that's a good point I don't remember that bit oh it's a great but he's got some pearls on that one that one with the garden oh that's from just now yeah oh I haven't that's why I don't know it oh you don't know this one no I haven't always got some great stuff oh boy I gotta watch it so you watch the garden thing I don't
Starting point is 00:09:52 know I got a free you know something was a miss here well Sally had a link oh yeah that illegal cable he's always pushing that on me well whatever you mentioned it I didn't say the name some guy yesterday email was like who's this Sally cues I want to dive into his work and know more about him like you're not gonna care for the work no photos of exhibit or whatever sure he's got some decent pics yeah whatever how hard does it take a pic that's true point and shoot more of a decent hang good hang bad hair I like the hair you're the one he's got like Hulk Hogan hair little ball but it's like long over here yeah little Michael
Starting point is 00:10:32 Bolton yeah long overdue for a trim yeah the backspat is he like this when we trash him a little I blew him up last week with the with the he's a trooper he's on his knees he's blowing a guy he's capper neck he's shooting point and shoot with the hobo yeah yeah I think so and how we trash it's even Steven yeah you can balance is Chuck's great got a balance got a balance cover the 20,000 hours of trash I'm gonna make a supercut no good haircut place what Sally cues needs yeah fantastic Sam's but any tits I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about but my point is we had breakfast we had the thing that I went back how
Starting point is 00:11:13 about this is great I love you utilizing your day I tried to maximize then I go back to the lounge like you gotta get there early so I spent another hour at the lounge wow that it was a long thing then I I fly to Salt Lake City I got four hours in that lounge like one of the longest travel days of my life yeah but they got some good shit there and then I'm texting with Ron on random you know I like to check in with folks and he goes yeah man I had a long day too I was sitting at the Seattle Delta lounge for like an hour and I was like I was at the Seattle Delta lounge for an hour I go what were you there he's like I was
Starting point is 00:11:44 there from 11 to noon I was like I was there from 11 to noon how big is his lounge decent size you've been to the lounge similar like the La Guardia lounge okay okay but if you're sitting there's there's little bubbles and shit and you're not looking that's true looking for Rana and you want to be left alone you don't want to talk to anybody exactly I'm sure he wasn't talking if he was talking to someone I know he's there right a little noisy sure he's a verbose yes booming booming booming lisp yeah Joe Lisp yeah but I didn't know he was there but anyways you find out one of your buddies was there you're
Starting point is 00:12:19 like fuck of all the lounges in all the world yes lounge lizards gin joints now if he's in the lounge we gotta up the the standards for getting in the lounge well 12 inch chubby weird Jew I mean come on we gotta have some scruples here I think we talked about this I'm a little resentful because a lot of people get in through the card yes exactly you buy a credit card and you get in I'm doing it old school with the miles putting the miles in spending the money anyone can just get a card but how how do you get because I got I'm platinum so I might be an already no platinum doesn't get you in diamond diamond well platinum my
Starting point is 00:13:00 there's some stuff with platinum all right but diamond I found out I didn't know how to utilize my shit I got $400 worth of vouchers and lounge access for the year plus a guest diamond is big diamond is big yeah diamond district all right all right well let me try without the card I want to see if I because I think I'm in I'm gold with Delta or platinum with Delta and then whatever's the highest on ancillary on United whatever that is well United's not gonna help you into the Delta lot they're right but they got their own lounge oh yeah and it's a fucking trash heap in there they got cheese and
Starting point is 00:13:35 crackers and Doritos and a cup of soup cup of soup Jerry I mean that's trash yeah this year give that to a hobo the Seattle lounge not as good they don't not consistent these lounges the Seattle lounge has like make your own oatmeal it's like a little packets I don't like a pack of hot water on there is that LaGuardia has like a big bucket of stew yes give me the stew Green Bay packets I don't I don't like it I want the stew I feel bad as bunch people sit at home and working a forklift going we still talk about the lounge yeah no I know they hate us all right what can you do well where you been we recorded a
Starting point is 00:14:16 podcast 26 hours ago well I gotta tell you fatty I am a hurting I feel like a gay guy after his first role in the hay because my hammies are hurt my ass is sore I'm bleeding I could I could barely get out of bed this morning I was like I was in it I was in shock or what do you call it traction traction what is traction traction I think is when they they really tape you up in there oh you move your spleen will fall out so they really duct tape the for it remember they have the forehead taped yes yes you couldn't get up I think that's traction with the pads and the tape oh I'm pretty sure maze laid up she's got the leg up with the
Starting point is 00:14:54 bandages on it nurses are coming in she had a bedpan she's on a gurney I mean she is ruined because she doesn't she works a day job you know a desk job so she's out all day just sitting there well we haven't told him what happened oh sorry so it's something we had an orgy we got fucked in the ass no we played pickleball pickleball folks fastest growing sport in the United States world America whatever it's COVID it's taken over old people love it and fat people avoid it well it's very fun and you know I love a pickleball Sarah and I love pickleball we don't get to play very often and I like tennis but tennis
Starting point is 00:15:29 is tough grueling it's grueling and most people can't fucking play so they're just hitting it everywhere every which way sure there's a lot of running and it's expensive and it's got to be you know it's whatever but pickleball is a little bit more tight and then yes it's a little more condensed so it's playable yeah condensed milk and it it's indoors tennis can be outdoors a lot and it's it's it's what it's got it's accessible accessible do it an old guy can do it we can do it ladies can do it it's for everybody yes so I wanted to I wanted to play we've been dying to play so I called every couple I know I went
Starting point is 00:16:08 through everybody seven eight now almost 12 couples and finally I was like well it's over no one wants to play with us everybody's busy and then I asked on the list and then I thought what you know what I forgot about Mark and May ouchie ouchie we've only known each other for a coon's age coming come on lucky 13 you were the 13th couple right well you know I had a couple couples I met on the sidewalk a couple hobos that attacked me I tried to mend fences few swingers I get it no I'm kidding you were the first choice let's say and I couldn't believe you were into it and and Sarah and I were taking bets she's like there's no
Starting point is 00:16:48 way he's showing up and I was like I think he'll be there see I'm flipping I flip the script on all you queves yeah well you change and I had to scold you but then I had to I messaged me because I was like can I just ask you I was like have you heard about pickleball at all she's like yes yes he told me I'm coming and I'm like okay that's right just wanted to make sure but boy was it exciting and lovely time lovely time but my my my hip flexors and my glutes are just ripped and my calves are already fucked your calves were bad your face is bad I mean it was a it was a bad scene going in and I was stretching but I
Starting point is 00:17:27 didn't want you to see me stretching because I'm so I'm so out of shape I'm so stiff and I gotta say I feel like we're comics we always lean on the hey look at these civilians what a bunch of rubes we're living the good life they got a day job we're out every night doing shows we're getting laid we're getting drunk you know we're getting t-shirts made and Zagan and Zagan sure and then you hit me with this the most uh coupling mainstreamy kind of thing on the planet and we're still down I think it's good for us to get into that world because it's easy to just step back go look at these idiots over here we're
Starting point is 00:18:03 we're we're a we're a pirates on the edge of the sea you know and then it's fun to go into that normal world for a minute well it's quite fun and it's delightful and you get the dopamine flow yes the serotonin the serotonin and the and the dopamine's flowing and you get into the flow because you're not thinking about reals and the views and the business because you're just trying to win get to the ball and I'm sweating my tits off and this is a funny thing too about the stretching because what Sarah I'm I start stretching and Sarah's like are we the only one to stretch for pickleball and I'm like no where are the
Starting point is 00:18:42 retards that only stretch for 30 seconds before pickleball like we should be stretching for an hour we're in our fifties for God's sakes right and I listen to something I learned to I was like what I get to play in that baseball team for a day these guys are like 22 years old they spend like a one full hour warming up stretching they have a guy pushing yes and like Novak joke of it famously is like stretching like 40% of his day is that right yes and they have the long rubber bar they're doing this thing oh yeah right right and there's throwing a big heavy ball off the wall they have resistance bands they're
Starting point is 00:19:18 doing that and they're doing it for an hour these guys are 22 professional athletes and saying I just watched them behind the scenes Celtics practice whatever and it's just all day stretching and here we come 40 years old 39 whatever and going in there and I'm like there's a couple Lam Limber whatever this is how you throw your back out no I did one of these a tote touch and then I hit my wife and I called it a macaroni but yeah today I am sore I shouldn't have been playing because my calves were all fucked up you pushed through you're a trooper but boy was it fun you feel alive out there oh yeah and it's nice
Starting point is 00:19:57 because when that ball just sails over the net like you hit a little dinger just to try to scoop me a dinky yes a dinky dinky in the brain and I got to get under it and that's the most important thing in my life right now is getting under that ball baby when you get it over it feels good but then you slam it behind me yeah it's a good time yeah it was fun and you had a couple lane violations there but whatever it was a good fun and got about that what sucked is that we didn't get to because I like to rotate partners sexually and pickle bally we didn't get to team up but I would have really loved to have shown
Starting point is 00:20:29 these women who's got the cocks you hear that Lea Thomas yeah the wife swap is always a good time and you have to communicate with a new lady it's fascinating yeah it really is and it's really exciting and fun and I wish I could do it for the rest of my life but you know you really it's really fun to get in there and paddle those balls it's fun and it's fun to cook because I've never played before so you have to go oh I'm bad at this let me work on that let me not do that again and you have to we only had an hour out there I know flew by so you have to like checks and balances you have to kind of be real
Starting point is 00:21:02 with yourself like your backhand is weak you got to hit it harder and it's nice to apply new things yeah it's very exciting without that clock though starts ticking at this when you first start playing like this is great we got 50 minutes and then you're like counting down you feel like a kid yeah like fuck it's gonna be over soon next time I think we should do two hours definitely do two hours maybe we'll take a five minute breather because I was moisture that a fat lady at a Bieber concert I was wet and I wore the headband I was like kind of as a gag and I took it off it was brown and wet like my asshole I'm getting
Starting point is 00:21:34 one of those bands baby band is big love the band and get the band back together hey folks this show is brought to you by better help as humans were constantly learning new things about ourselves sometimes we don't want we don't know what we want or why we react the way we do until we talk through things therapy can help by deepening your self-awareness better help connects you with the licensed therapists and guide you on your journey of self discovery I love therapy big fan you know me me and Joe go to the same fatty big Al he's a good egg changed my life learn what's wrong with you try to fix it get
Starting point is 00:22:15 to the roof your cleaves if you're thinking about starting therapy give better help and try better help is entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matching the licensed therapists and switch therapists at any time no additional charge discover your potential with better help visit better help comm slash Tuesdays to get tested set off your first month that's a better help hlp.com slash Tuesdays get on it hey folks Tuesdays the story is brought to you by man skate spring cleaning is here boys time to clean those nasty
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Starting point is 00:23:41 shipping with the code Tuesdays at manscaped.com that's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use promo code Tuesdays manscape your balls will thank you and sell your partner hey folks Tuesday stories brought to you by Raycon yes it's easy to give up on resolutions that are too big why not start with something small change up your routine with better sound with a pair of Raycon Raycon is premium audio at a perfect price point so you can build great habits without breaking the bank listen to our next episode from Jim with your Raycons and you'll hear what we mean no matter how you listen we've got
Starting point is 00:24:28 you covered Raycon started half the price of the premium audio brand so get one of each or a pair and a spare and still pay less than you would with some of the other guys the offer they offer buy now pay later options every purchase as an easy and free return guarantee man these guys are good you got to get on this folks I love my Raycons and never leave home without them with eight hours of playtime crystal clear quality and resistance to water and sweat you can take these puppies anywhere take a call in the sauna or listen to your favorite album at the street fair ready to buy something small with a big impact go to
Starting point is 00:25:13 buy Raycon dot com slash Tuesdays today to get 15% off your Raycon order that's B U Y R A Y C O N dot com slash Tuesdays for 15% off buy Raycon dot com slash Tuesdays thank you here's here's how good stretching is one time I don't know we were 15 and one of our friends got into a fist fight with some guy and he sucker punched it was a whole thing so all their friends said we're meeting at the park at 12 o'clock we're gonna you know have a rumble and we're like all right all right so it's like 20 of them and then 20 of us maybe like 11 we'll say and I got there and you know you're kind of like this isn't my fight but these are
Starting point is 00:25:56 my friends we you gotta do something but we got there and I look over at the other team and there's one guy was stretching he was doing high kicks and he was he was like you know doing this shit I was like they're gonna win we guys we're fucked this guy he was wearing like a biking shorts with like basketball shorts over it I was like oh we're fucked he's wearing like cycling gear he's wearing like workout gear to beat our ass that's interesting because some people might look at that as like weak he's dressed like Billy Hoyle you don't think he's gonna beat you up he looked like what's the ice skating gay
Starting point is 00:26:27 guy Brian Boytano he looked like Brian Boytano but I knew I was like oh he's a he's wearing that and he's not worried about it B he's stretching and he's doing this shit before a fist fight so I was like oh weird and they beat the shit out of us well there's always those guys in a fight that's scary that they're just doing like things matter factly they're like yes oh he's just this is just like business as usual can't see anything that's so true and I've told this story a many a time and probably on this podcast but whatever there's new listeners and a lot of people bail on us because you're a kid jizz I think we
Starting point is 00:27:08 cycled people through menstrual cycle but one time I was playing I was at the brown jug I think you went there one time man you were here for this I think I've been to the brown you might have been here for this story is that a chain no no one in Cape Cod now this is a this is a this is gotta be a one-off I think it's a common name I see brown this is a real shithole I think it's in Melrose or Maldon it's not quite ever but maybe it's ever but whatever somebody was there beef place they have beef sandwiches now that's Mike's roast beef right yeah bulletproof glass yeah so anyways we're at the place and it's me and Tom Dustin
Starting point is 00:27:46 and somebody else I forget who but we're a cornhole not cornhole with that too but golden tea golf that was a big thing Tom would make make money doing that that was big people I had a moment big moment I know a guy that ripped his hand open because the screw was loose on the corner where the ball is he did this it just oh yeah what a weird injury yeah it's kind of weird but tell people how'd you do that golf we rock slice your hand open golf slice for score seven years ago this is so we walk up to they will edit out that and whatever else so we walk up to the guy well like right there these guys were playing golden
Starting point is 00:28:31 tea a couple a couple buddies and one went out to smoke a cigarette and we walk up to the other guy we go hey can we can we get next mind if we jump in and the guy didn't quite understand or something he's like what and we're like yeah we'll take oh now we'll take winner hmm and he was like yeah alright hold on and then he went outside and like chatted with his buddy we're kind of like weird hmm and then they came back in they were like alright yeah what do you want to do you want to do it here you want to go outside whoa fuck is it what's going on what and we were like what's that now and they're like yeah you want to
Starting point is 00:29:06 fucking fight you got a fucking problem with us and I was like we were like no no no what we're talking about golden tea yeah we want to play gold and they were like oh oh shit I'm sorry I'm all fucked up but there was like four of us I'm trying to think it was a visiting comment maybe it's big Al too hmm and I was like I pulled Tom aside I was like all right no talking shit with these guys no crazy yeah they don't fuck around because it was one dude and like four of us walked up we're like hey we're gonna play yeah they were like hold on one second and then he was just like okay yeah we're ready we're ready to fight it
Starting point is 00:29:37 was it was so jarringly matter of fact that we're like what the fuck don't fuck with that guy yeah it was scary we end up playing it was fine we all talk shit what the hell happened in his childhood or his dad beat him or something where a fight can just break out it's almost like fucking like going hello ma'am you can I get next she's like okay hold on one second and then she fucks you that would be super weird yes and that's what these guys he could just switch it on a dime yeah that's Boston's very fighty there everything that's all that was valued was funny and fighting yes same New Orleans was very similar and you'd go
Starting point is 00:30:12 to a party and you're like oh that guy's here there was a lot of that like oh and you walk by him and you go what's up pussy and you're like hey what's up but he's like not gonna do anything huh then you push you and you're like alright I guess this I'm trying to get drunk and maybe finger a nine-year-old here what are we doing yeah that was a thing I said this with Donnelly I've told you this story too I went up to drank with Donnelly years ago obviously and he was at a bar in Boston we're like South Boston and he was like what's up guy are you going kid look at this fucking kid yeah you're fucking wacky you look like
Starting point is 00:30:45 Ronald McDonald and I remember being like you're gonna get us killed like I'm gonna beat the shit out of you and he's like I'm having a good time what are you talking and I was like no we're in like South Boston here these guys are gonna beat the fuck out of right and I could see these guys like just eyeing us and I'm like I'm telling you and he's like I'm telling you it's fine yeah you're out of your mind I'm like I'm from here right they hate you they want to beat us up just cuz you're not from South Boston right yeah and you know we ended up getting out of there unscathed but well we had one guy one of our friends he was
Starting point is 00:31:16 Honduran and he was like a while he's a Marine now but he was kind of a wild child and the ladies loved him and he had this problem this guy Justin and he walked up with his girlfriend my buddy and the other guy was like damn check it her out and he goes don't look at my girlfriend like that and they just fist fought right there right in front of everybody in front of the girlfriend everything and I was just like this sucks you know like I it was cool to watch but he got his ass kicked bad and you're like what are we doing now we got to take him home or maybe to the hospital it was a bummer yeah it's no good by the way
Starting point is 00:31:49 that's a fat girlfriend he had you really went out there yeah that was like a that's a wide dame yeah she was huge but you had to look at her you know neighbor slams I know you can't he can't close it he has to slam it every time I think it's a message it's a Sicilian message like a horse head we sleep with the fishes fishes John fish look good brother he's funny oh good comic that's a heck of a comic I as you can see we don't have any stories I had another thing about fistfighting I lost it I can remember every guy to sometimes I see him on Instagram and they have kids now and I was like Jesus this guy was like
Starting point is 00:32:29 so scary and so hot oh I remember I was at a party you know those guys who can just turn on a dime they just you say the wrong thing and it's like World War 3 game on let's do this yes so there's one guy I kind of knew and I go hey what's up man he goes hey who's got the weed around here who's got the weed we're at a house party there's a swimming pool you know backyard and I'm like ah this guy's a podhead and he goes don't fucking call me a podhead I was like I'm just joking and he's like no no and he's like I'm gonna fuck you up I'm like come on man I just got here like what are we doing here but I had to like talk
Starting point is 00:33:04 him off a ledge for a half an hour and that would that turn out to be my whole party and then eventually you know house party some asshole through the grandfather clock in the pool and the little nerd kid who's running the house he's like no and they're throwing the lawn chairs and the dishes and they got pretty ugly now how often were you getting beat up because when I first met you there was a million times where I thought you're gonna get beat up but we had that party on the house on the roof somebody had a party I think it was like a comic book or maybe it was that other lady that would always be around but you
Starting point is 00:33:34 came down I let me try to remember this because you got saved by a few people coming in yeah it was a guy cuz you're like what's up you can't and you call the woman a cunt and then her boyfriend appeared and luckily there was like four of us cuz the guy was like what is it like he just heard something you called some woman a cunt like playfully yeah I'm joking and the guy was like what is this I think he had just shown up or something I can't remember I was banged up yeah you called her a cunt and I mean no recollection of this yeah it was a rooftop party I'm trying to remember a lot of roofs back in the day because it
Starting point is 00:34:14 was free a roof was free yes he'd get a case of shit beer paps or whatever been walking his best and you just sit on that roof and we would just get banged up till someone fell off the roof then we go home yeah I remember being in the Boston Comedy Festival party a couple times I've been this guy I got two stories about being the voice of reason which by the way when I was drinking if I was the voice of reason you got some real fuck-ups running around good point but there was one there's a Boston Comedy Festival part I think was Victor Vernado oh yeah funny guy his hotel we hang on the roof of his hotel and
Starting point is 00:34:45 everybody was hanging out and Dan Bulger I forget what happened his shoes got tied together somehow that's funny his pants ripped and so they were ripped and he was running and he everyone was laughing like oh look at Bulger run around with his pants off and he tripped and fell because that's what happens when you run with your pants your ankles and your drug I've seen cartoons and he smashed his face on the roof and then he gets up and everybody comes running over and he's like oh my god should I go and everyone goes you're fine I think you're good you're good and it's because no one wants the party to end that's all
Starting point is 00:35:17 it is so I walked over and there's blood like squirting out of his chin like a fucking Sam Raimi movie or whatever it's just firing out of his chin it's like all my glasses and stuff and I'm like oh no and I was like you got to go to the hospital and everyone's like calling me a fucking douche they're like you're a square you're fucking paranoid piece of shit and I'm like yeah I'm drunk I'm on drugs I don't want to go to a hospital yeah but his face chin is open I can see the bone of his chin which I'd not kill for that sure I go fuck everybody I'll take him you guys stay so we went to the cab I think to the emergency room and as
Starting point is 00:35:59 soon as they see him they're like yeah you need stitches whoa faces open and he ended up getting like eight stitches and I remember he gave the the Sioux five this is like a day cook and we had a photo of him getting the stitches the guy was literally sewing him and he's doing the super finger it just gets stitches I love it which is pretty pretty fun and then the part of the party came to us and I remember Shane Moss came Shane boy he could put him back he was this is in his I don't think he drinks anymore but he was drinking and whatever else and it was the classic thing it was like good fellas when the
Starting point is 00:36:30 doctor came in he thought he was seeing Shane he walks up he's like okay what the fuck did you do and Shane's like no no I'm a hundred percent this guy over here and that was that was one and then the other story I like to tell we used to play softball in South Boston no big comedy league and we had the little plastic bases yeah there was just like a piece of plastic that you put down they weren't in the ground oh they can move too much exactly and I was over out in left field and which which sounds bad and softball that's the prime position and that was everyone's bombing them out to left solid and so I'm out and left
Starting point is 00:37:07 and I watch Alvin David big Al oh he can swing he could swing and he can he can do it all he's a Rhode Island guy was he a player a baseball player yeah I don't think squatty like a catcher no I don't think so all right but boy I got so many great Alvin stories has he ever been on the podcast back in the day well I think once and nobody can understand him oh he went to the live pod with him in bulger oh that's right yeah he's tough to understand sometimes when he gets going he talks very fast and but anyways so he runs into the base and he tries to stop and just slides and lands on his face oh boom and once again I hate to tell these
Starting point is 00:37:44 stories or I'm the hero but everyone converges yes he stands up and everyone goes I think you're okay he's like I'm fine I'm fine everyone's like yeah I think you're okay and blood starts coming out of his nose and I go Alvin we got to go to the hospital buddy I'm sorry I hate to break up the game but we got to go to the hospital what are you doctor Quinn doctor list medicine woman and everyone goes what no no it's a nosebleed like yeah just a nosebleed and I went Al you didn't hit your nose if someone punches you in the nose or the ball hits your nose and you get a
Starting point is 00:38:17 nosebleed you're like oh geez that's probably fine but I'm like if you hit the side of your face and blood comes out of your nose that's a concussion that's an issue CTE you're fucking face caved in yes like this blood in your face and it's moved out of your nose yeah well what a trooper to be able to just I'll keep going I'm all right well he had about 350 beers that'll help by the way it was the night the Celtics won the championships what's been oh wait I guess that we said I'm sorry we gotta go the emergency room we went down there and once again they go and they're like yeah you're your fucking facial plate
Starting point is 00:38:52 is caved in the cheekbone was like shattered holy hell he went like cheek first into the ground did he score no he was standing at second while someone must have been an automatic runner I left with him damn but it was that thing where yeah you see blood you get smacked over here and blood trickles out of here you're like that doesn't seem holy hell that that poor guy but he's all right yeah this is 20 years ago yeah in all fairness when you talk to Al you're like something's up yeah well he's a he's a he's a wild one and a great disposition that guy who's having a good I've said it for you that guy's having a
Starting point is 00:39:25 nice time yeah he's a good egg he's he's a fun guy to talk to and you know it'd be funny if he hit his head he's just like hello how are you like if he became because he's he's a wackadoo you know he's got them all over the place that'd be funny but it knocked him out like I always say when Joe Mackie gets laid he's gonna be like what's up dog he's gonna totally change his whole demeanor well big Al is a classic character he's got another thing that makes me laugh so hard is a bulger you know they're about 20 years apart yeah how's old literally and bulger was like yeah bon jovi I just don't get it I think he sucks and an
Starting point is 00:39:59 alvin who's like Italian from the 80s yeah it's really serious I've never seen him serious about anything sure and he goes brother you weren't there oh that's perfect that's perfect so much reverence so serious and it's just like stop it you don't understand and it's bon jovi and all I can think about is like 1985 Alvin's like a junior in high school he's got the headband and the big hair and he's he's just loading the hairspray and into listening to like she's a little run away and he's like you don't get it I saw something like that veter what this is open mic years this must be like oh eight oh nine we're at comics no longer there Paul Newman just died
Starting point is 00:40:43 on Newman so veter it's a big deal he was a huge star whatever and veter's up there ziggin Newman because he's trying to be edgy he's trying to be a comic he's like I never got it he saw oh fig newtons get out of here what do you think you are and this guy this old guy bartending goes lips that flap up and he goes nope nope and he stops veter and he's like heckling him he's like you don't talk about Newman like that this guy was 60 years old you know so he probably knew the guy or raced with him or something but veter got shut down and he's four for one he was like yes sir no sir well I'm with this guy you know the older I get the more I'm like you don't joke about this kind of stuff Paul Newman I mean he's probably the greatest movie star of all time he
Starting point is 00:41:23 carried Redford's ass that's for sure and then he donated all the money and the racing and the salad and his son killed himself cool hand Luke is that right yeah I got pretty ugly ah jeez I know everybody's like you're Paul Newman son and dah dah dah you got you got your life by the balls or whatever your dad's a race car driver hottest guy on the planet and he's like yeah yeah that's why I'm doing it no it was too much wow well poor girl I'll pour one out for Paul Newman uh Randy Randy Newman he's a hell of a hell of a writer hell of a singer I had something with the concussion he said the nose bleeding it got me and now I lost it fuck god don't you hate losing it yeah that's all COVID fog yeah people got that maybe it'll come back but it was a
Starting point is 00:42:07 we were really on a roll with fun fun uh getting hurt stories and I got shins god damn it I lost it bleeding booze really got you through a lot of injuries because we were always so drunk that you didn't even feel anything yeah that's what was that's what's hard about it is people go no no I'm fine I can keep going you need that other person to be like I think this is a problem totally totally thank god you're there yeah you're like yeah I think the I think your face is but I really going back afterwards and watching the the Celtics and like his ice in his face there was something fun about like getting out of the hospital you like you of course my face wasn't broken but that feeling of like getting out and being like okay we're free again that is nice I
Starting point is 00:42:49 remember I got knocked out at a fight in Mardi Gras I was probably in college guy knocked me out whatever and I woke up and I had the big old purple egg on the on the eye I couldn't open the eye and I fell asleep at my girlfriend's apartment on the floor woke up and I look in the mirror and it was like oh just that that that quasi moto purple blood everywhere you know the other eyes black this is black and you're like god damn my mom calls I had a little Nokia brick and she goes we still getting lunch yeah and I couldn't face her with that mug yeah I looked too bad and I said I can't mom and she was like what's going on with you like she could tell she was like you're off something's off and I'm like no no I'm good but I had to hide for like three days I couldn't go out
Starting point is 00:43:32 that's a nice mom at least she sounds well she was pissed because I'm blowing her off she's like I'm on my way to the restaurant I'll see you there in 20 and I was like I can't do it mom and she was like well we've been talking with us for two days and I was like I just can't do it she's like why and I'm like I can't she's like why won't you tell me why it's like she could she could feel it out wow and that's the last time you ever did that to anybody yeah and that's the time I saw my mom oh wait I just had what I lost it ah we're losing it but oh it reminded me of I got hit in the eye one time twice I've taken two of the eye I think that's why I'm blind and gay baseball yeah well one was baseball so I was the the pitcher and I threw a wild paint let's call it a pass ball just for
Starting point is 00:44:13 whatever pass ball catcher's fault it was runner on third so I came running into cover home and then the guy slid across the plate before my stupid catcher could get it it was lost in the fence or whatever you know those fences were always kicked in the ball would jam under there so he's trying to get it the guy slides and I went ah fuck because we gave up the run but the catcher that finally gets the ball just turns and whips it because he knows there's a play at the play I see and whips it uh-huh but I just assumed he's not gonna gun the ball because this guy's already in his car he's on the way so wait you're by third base I'm at home play you're at home play yes I run from the mound to home plate to cover I watch him slide across like a well there's
Starting point is 00:44:52 no play now and I look up and right in the eyeball and this is a full fastball from about six feet and it you know fucking caved my face in the whole thing oh and that's a hard ball this ain't no this is baseball and uh you have to go with the eye test and the pad I had have an eye patch and then when it came on I remember the white of my eye was like yeah like a dark yellow yes like uh what's that disease with the drinking jaundice thank you good call jaundice way to pull that out yeah well I just I got with Dustin ah I was googling it there was an old black guy on my quarter who would always have like a cobra one of those big silver beers you know and uh he had crazy jaundice he was like hey what's up buddy all right I was like whoa yellow eyes ah geez like
Starting point is 00:45:38 uh like a doll's eyes um and they roll over white yeah yeah those ball hitting to the face I've had a few balls in my head face it is a bit that thing is hard yeah right on the chin and I had another one where everyone was playing pickle that was a big game which I think they later call it monkeys in the middle or run around when you get the guys on both sides that was the number one activity in my neighborhood we played pickle all the time I mean that was it but that was just the game it wasn't like a baseball game that would a pickle would happen sure you just set up the bases and let's go well that's interesting we'll play for hours and I had just got back from baseball practice or a game and everyone was playing the front yard so I went oh I'm playing and then whoever
Starting point is 00:46:21 was supposed to catch it I think it was my cousin he turned and it just went he just didn't catch it because it was the ball was coming and he was like oh you're playing and then the same thing just right in the old eyeball yeah and uh yeah same thing hospital you don't want that temple too because that'll turn the lights out there's a couple if you give it a goog there's a couple uh MLB players who took it to the temple they went blind Bryce Flurry was a red socks pitcher that took one of the face and it was bad it's flurry Tony Cligniero way back in the calligraphy yeah fucked him up real good so I remember one time I had a soccer ball I loved you know when you were a kid you had like eight things and you loved every one of them yeah sure
Starting point is 00:47:01 all right soccer ball I'm not a fucking queer well I took what I could get and I decided it was all beat up and had my name on it I was like Wilson I love this thing we had a connection me in the soccer ball something about it also I grew up with a in New Orleans so there's a lot of French influence so like a lot of the kids uh I grew up with were like soccer douches they loved it umbro and lotto remember those lotto sneakers the black ones a lot of that shit I play the lotto yeah so I was I had the soccer ball at school like I'm gonna bring it today I'm bringing this my one of my favorite things to school big deal okay so I got that puppy right here and I remember holding it and the bell rang and you know you know they had like early recess before school
Starting point is 00:47:45 started where the kids just yeah yeah that was fun so we were in that and I was holding it and I'm talking to my chums having a good time curly-headed idiot you know dumb fat kid and this kid goes boop pops it out kicks it over to his friend he kicks it to another guy 20 feet away and they go got it and I go all right you rascals you know let's let's make with the fun time over here we go and they go now we're keeping this yeah these are some street tuffs and I go go wow that's all fun and good but uh class time you know and they go no no that's it and I just was crushed you know when something just gets taken away from you and there's no I like I chased him around a little bit but he was they they were doing the uh keep away yeah
Starting point is 00:48:28 they had numbers they had numbers they were a little older a little tougher a little darker and uh you just had to accept it and the teachers like come on let's go and I just had to go in a class and I had a tear roll down like an Indian with a trash and I was like and I was like damn that's just gone like I just got to accept that did you think about squealing and saying hey listen I bought my soccer ball and these street tuffs robbed me not really I think I did like a but my missus whatever my soccer ball and she was like shut up no one likes you you're half retarded getting and getting their arithmetic nice and all right and I was just like ah cut to the end of the day I need my brother have to meet up to go get picked
Starting point is 00:49:12 up and uh he hands me the soccer ball anyways I got it back and I go oh it was the best thing anyone's ever done for me he is a magician that's amazing he got the ball back now were they upperclassmen and he was an upperclassman so he said hey I think so yeah and I think maybe he he stole it but he must have hurt I never was like hey buddy hey brother my my my ball got taken it you know school it's like a little organism he found out somehow and he goes I'm getting that ball back from my brother wow big moment never talked to him again beautiful yeah I wouldn't try to talk to him if I knew that story oh yeah it was real big brother shit where I'm like now we're talking thank you did he make it appear like a card no no he just I think he did one of these
Starting point is 00:49:55 so I got the ball back that's sweet where's that ball now isn't that fascinating I think someone else stole it all your possessions are just gone it's probably on the shore of a beach in Myanmar or something you know like it just floats away formerly Burma there you go yeah yes where's it Burma now which which way did it I think it's I think it was Burma ah Burmese oh python yeah oh yeah big big python Burmese python but so is it now a Myanmar python oh now that's a question yeah interesting a big holocaust over there too from Facebook huh I think Facebook caused a big not a holocaust a genocide genocide recently yes formerly Burma formerly Burma formerly Burma 1989 so can we go to Myanmar python now is that a Burmese yeah I don't know
Starting point is 00:50:45 I don't think we want to go to Myanmar though it's like they're rounding people up and killing them yeah yeah Myanmar Norman now what is pickleball's origin I've been sitting on this what do you know the origin I don't I don't know the origin it's been around a long time though longer than you think maybe we should take a guess yeah take a guess I'm gonna say 60s okay no I've talked about the origin of the of the name pickle oh I think I read this and it didn't retain I don't retain things anymore retainer but I'm interested now to throw out a guess for when this thing started also okay but pickle ball guess the year or whatever and then guess the pickle ball you gotta back it up a few years because it always takes a couple to get going right so I'm gonna go 57 58
Starting point is 00:51:34 something like that okay this is like a price is right yeah one dollar bet sure and the pickle I don't know what the pickle uh but yeah we did it's funny because we we had a game called pickle yeah with a ball right right so I don't know the name I have no idea how would I know that what's your what's your year guess 1960 okay and your guess is 57 I mean Chuck just looks so disappointed in me I'm gonna say though for the origin of the name I'll just say uh they used paddles they would stir pickles with or something like that oh that's a good guess oh really I gotta keep a poker face I don't want to say a guy's name is Ted Pickle okay that's good that's a good one all right all right it's not as good as it is obviously I can see the face uh I mean I'm not
Starting point is 00:52:19 saying either you guys are right summer of 1965 oh you got it pickle ball was founded by Joel Prichard Bill Bell and Barney McCallum on Brainbridge Island Washington within days Joan Prichard had come up with the name pickle ball a reference to the thrown together leftover non-starters in the pickle boat of crew races whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I guess that means that the pickle boat is like not the a team of whatever they're doing oh right you know what I mean non-starters non-starters I think is like bench warmers essentially of a pickle boat I think it's like a pickle boat I think it might be like an old phrase I know about a pickle park it might be like an old phrase did you guys have that term pickle park no it pickle jar pickle park was like where uh the gaze went
Starting point is 00:53:04 blue oh that's pretty good that's a pickle park we called it home I heard that no I love it I my friend's mother said that and that makes me think I'm like is that just her thing because we were going hiking in blue hills and she's like stay away from blue hills it's a pickle park oh I love that they were like what is that she's like it's where the men go to have sex so hell's kitchen is a pickle park yes I was getting Chelsea's a pickle park yeah my basement's a pickle park that I love pickle my work's out of town province town yeah pickle park give a pickle park at google and see if that we can find that well I just like that pickle boat which is the reference it says in sailing the pickle boat is the last boat to finish a race oh it's like a general it's a
Starting point is 00:53:44 derogatory term yeah the loser okay which makes sense pickle ball is for people who were last picked oh okay and you've ever played Shelby's uh he's he's tennis player all right look at pickle park is this a turn this is probably by the way derogatory I'm probably saying a horrible slur right now well we had homo highway so that's a lot cleaner pickle park Norman uh it's funny because it's on it's it's on wikipedia as just a rest area hmm it says well that's the same thing it's gotta say that's what it's a gay hangout it literally says now in rest area place usually in the limited access highway where one can stop to use the restroom or take a break from traveling yeah I guess that's one way to say that's gay right yeah that's funny to be like hey you want to
Starting point is 00:54:28 take a break from traveling yeah suck each other off all right here we go I got the origin of pickle park yeah there we go put in pickle park gay hang blue hills Carol Stevenson yeah yeah it is it is the gay thing okay yeah it says all right in the 70s I love that there you go she's from the 70s there you go pickle park I want to go visit and they would call people that go there pickle suckers or pickle park rangers the second one's a lot nicer pickle sucker this sounds like I suck a pickle yeah I like the juice so they used to be called lollipop parks for the same reason no kill you suck better yeah boom boom boom at rest areas are you know notoriously gay hangouts back in the day because they couldn't they didn't have places to go right
Starting point is 00:55:15 these poor gays had to fuck each other at a rest area wow tough times yeah we really came around on this issue though law of the land I know it's some pushback in certain places or whatever but uh that's all in our lifetime yeah gay marriage I remember even Clinton and Obama were like ah it's probably a bad idea and then here we are well I get annoyed because some people are like I read somebody recently being like Obama never forget that Obama was openly against gay marriage and I get so annoyed because I'm like do you have and I don't want to talk about politics too much on the show but you're like well do you have any understanding of politics you did what he had to do to win yeah and then I'm like they're like fuck him I'll never forgive him for that but you're
Starting point is 00:55:57 like but do you remember also when it became the law of the land under him yeah I don't understand so you have no understanding of any workings of thing well you're looking at it rashly they just want the outrage they want the argument they want this win on the guy they don't want they don't care about justice they didn't care about gays or pickle park they care about this this moment like I got you right that's all they want and that's why it sucks because you're like we're not getting anywhere you're not listening right yeah you're like even if he was obviously he wasn't against gay marriage but even if he was and then changed his mind he got a pass yeah that's pretty good that's um now now we're getting down down in the weeds but let's get the hell out of this area
Starting point is 00:56:39 they do that with slavery they go white people cause slavery and you're like yeah but they also abolished it oh you got that whole rig of a roll and uh these aren't uh I don't clip that these are my I'm just saying what I read on you know my fan page oh man anyways back to the injuries who else is injured I uh what time I was getting a haircut and they look like a gherkin or a dill I like a sweet they're a bread and butter is good too bread and butter I love bread and butter pickles oh no I hate pickles what disgusting I love a pic no you like them yeah you can pickle a dick I'll eat it no pickles bad uh but that's I'm nice to hang out with a diner because every you're always getting my pickle I'll tickle your and coleslaw I'm like you got extra coleslaw extra pickle that diner
Starting point is 00:57:26 coleslaw they really gotta step that up a night it's in that dumb little ketchup holder you know and it's just gooey and white and creamy yeah it's like pickle park sounds like something you find at blue hills yeah exactly but uh and he just nobody eats that coleslaw yeah nobody I've seen people eat it I tried to give that to a hobo once and he spit in my ass um I feel like I've seen you eat the coleslaw I've eaten it I've never seen you not eat a thing that was on the table yeah yeah it's a it's a problem what what time is it by the way I feel like we've been here for three hours okay I was like wondering I didn't see you did you give us the thing that was preoccupied well what's going on over there look at pictures of pickle park yeah yeah all right pickle park's a
Starting point is 00:58:12 good name for a diner yeah that's true a Jewish deli pickle park well you know my best name thing they have the mangroves in q west a gay bar called the mangrove that's like the the trees that sprinkle out of the ground I know I'm yeah mangrove that's funny because I went to Puerto Rico and I was like oh we went and saw the mangroves you said that'd be a great gay name what do you mean you said that'd be a great gay bar name mangrove oh did I already say this no but now you're saying you saw a real gay bar no I'm saying that would be oh oh oh sorry sorry I thought you found mangrove no no I want to found I want to found it by me I see we should invest in a gay bar sure pickle park you like that more than mangrove hello if it's in key west it's mangrove all right I'll call
Starting point is 00:58:57 a pickle but but I think pickle park is derogatory I see or at least it was but maybe we embrace it like the n word yes making our own we get a ton of gym names suggestions oh yeah a hundred they will go through those on the patreon yeah yeah we should I like it hey what about when we do a good job we can be a jark attack hey jark attack like we win in pickleball and we're on the same team that's a jark attack and and jizz and coming my ass all that that's that's jarkin instead of jargon jargon I like it let's give me something pickle jargon uh where you gonna be uh oh we already there uh what is it march 14th uh well salt lake city this is a big one there yeah you got to come to this show that's march 31st and april 1st april fools salt lake city and then uh the wilbur
Starting point is 00:59:48 theater that's going fast I got the the numbers these tickets are dwindling so get on it don't wait for that one that will sell out maybe gonna add a puppy I don't know about adding all right even more for subtractor maybe we'll add but I feel like that's second one would have 150 people right well that wilbur I mean they just is there that many people in bean town it's like I'm there doing 18 shows sam's doing 51 stavros doing 98 then bill spur shows up then rogan then you and it's like they keep filling in by the timing of this not great huh I'm like well I might sell out you never know you're like well sam's doing 81 I'm like Jesus oh sorry I put some space between my struggling to sell one and sam's 89 well I'm just saying that it's a it's a
Starting point is 01:00:34 funny factory over there they just keep pumping through people they show up well I got to get new friends but uh wilbur theater please for the love of god nobody's bought a ticket I haven't had the heart to tell anybody we're subtracting a show wilbur theater and then tempi improv that's a hot room is that what we did together yes yes those were dark days no that was right after I got married it was fantastic oh yeah well I thought that was a bad thing we smoked and uh we had chesley chesley was on yeah that was hiking with that other guy oh yeah we swam in his pool oh yeah that's right yeah yeah great guy that was fun so tempi improv then tampa side splitters we've had some good times there huh oh one of the great clubs good times the bachelor party
Starting point is 01:01:17 that's what I was gonna say I got it back it's not great but you were talking about being the guy who takes people to the hospital uh we were at the bachelor party tampa florida drinking all day sunshine all day boy we had a good time mm i v's comedy shows strippers you name it but at one point you had gone out and gotten a tea or whatever the fuck you do and i was you know partying with the boys we're grilling we're drinking and i go i'm jumping off the second floor into the pool yes and i got up there and you know i'm 39 i used to do backflips off the roof and all this shit portano style and i'm 39 i'm i'm getting married i'm gay and i i'm on the edge of the railing and when you're on the other side of a railing and your little twinkie toes are hanging
Starting point is 01:02:03 on to that wood you know and uh everybody's like jump or i wouldn't do it go for it come on live your life and i'm looking down at the pool from the second floor and you show up kind of going hey what's up guy what are you guys doing uh and right when i saw you do that i was like all right i'm out no it was a whole thing's 80 people all telling you to just bad friends again it's the same yeah i mean i'm not here to just virtue signal but i'm the best friend anyone's ever had well it was it was almost fatherly like you weren't like don't do it you were like what what good will come of this calm down what are you doing yeah it was very matter of fact well it is a it's a risk reward you get a photo of you indian style of crisscross apple sauce whatever
Starting point is 01:02:47 the fuck in the air and everyone's behind you going like this great photo good photo that's the best case scenario right you get 800 likes on a photo and everyone goes oh my god you're the craziest worse you you fucking snap your ankle you break your leg you die you mangle your face and uh you know all this other stuff just for a quick whoo yeah salicus was mad at me he wanted to win a Pulitzer for that horseshoe sure sure yeah but we got another photos reeling in the fish umar throwing up great picks great picks we climbed a palm tree we went to the ocean that ocean pick is killer great ocean pick and what about dug with the russian ladies no excuse me oh boy it's a bad confusing yeah yeah we had a great time by the way i'm gonna have 48 emails
Starting point is 01:03:34 being like you fucking cunt we want to see mark jump off a boat you fucking piece of shit i'm saving your life i'll do it again don't worry yeah if you if you hadn't showed up i would have done it yeah it would have been bad and it was like also there's like little couch cushions around like that's gonna help literally there's couch cushions around the rim of the pool i'm like what are you kidding such 10 year old boy thinking like oh this was the one time i jumped off a balcony and i had a plastic bag and i thought i was gonna marry poppins down because i was like nine and i fucking snapped my knee yeah it's no good that was brutal anyways tampasides blitters tempi improv a bunch of dates i'm going to spokane spokane whatever the fuck it is san jose
Starting point is 01:04:14 san jose improv uh dc improv way out in november nashville i think in october and uh comedian subscribe to my youtube the special will be out soonish and we shot the special it went great look at his content king of content new special coming out three and three years uh i'm taping on st patty's day which i kind of regret now in chicago it's like after dublin chicago is the biggest st patty's party in the country the world but i someone was just saying this because i someone else is recording and i was like oh this is the month to record i said mark's recording the 17th and everyone at the table was like what is he retarded he's an idiot but you sell tickets people are coming to see you they're not going to get blackout before seeing you i hope if you're doing a
Starting point is 01:05:01 show at a bar room sure there's fucking joe schmoe i'd be like you're in it that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard right but they're not it's not like they're gonna go hit the parade and be like ah like if i if i was drinking and pearl jim was playing st patrick's day i'm a bad example yes yes you know there's gonna be a couple bad eggs i'll give them that maybe a couple eggs yeah but well we'll make it work you'll be saturday thank you it'll be great appreciate that and uh should be fun and uh mark norman common dot com got some new dates coming up big tour coming going to australia again going to england again so uh we're all over the road and uh jerk attack what do you got juxter i do a podcast called fun bearable and i want to thank all the
Starting point is 01:05:43 tuesday's listeners because a ton of them came over and the numbers are going up wow the opposite of this but i know right a lot of great comments on the kevin ryan episode and the episodes with you guys but this week uh we have a new episode with it's gonna be it's gonna sound weird it's actually the voices of pinky in the brain no way yeah and one of them is named uh rob paulson and he's like the most prolific voice actor of like this generation he does like he was part of the original ninja turtles he does like a ton of loony tune stuff rick and morty oh wow the other guy does like a ton of simpsons future rama stuff like that all right yeah we did a live panel at rod island comic con with those guys and they're awesome their names are rob paulson marisa march
Starting point is 01:06:22 but fun bearable pod dot com or fun bearable on any podcast app there you go get on the patreon it's cooking oh i had a guy kick me in an apple then he goes best patreon i've ever seen hot uh not hot gay sets uh quiff tv loves yeah a lot of people love it i'm getting a lot of messages being like best patreon ever yes yes i am not surprised to hear that those are from chuck we shot a new hot gay sets we should say oh yes we did we should say new hot gay sets a little bit yes 109 and it was hot oh we'll see that in was on hey all right he was right we'll see that around christmas time i'm looking forward to it all right but thanks gang we got to get you to

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