Tuesdays with Stories! - #498 James Head

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Woooo baby! It's Tuesday! Joe heads back to beantown to take his pops to see the biiiiiiig Boss - Springsteen baby! Joe cries, weeps and bawls at the show. Mark is back from Perrysburg, Ohio! How did it go? Spoiler alert: Not great! Ups and downs, ladies and gentlemen! It's what life is all about! Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories Sponsors: - Support the show and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://www.betterhelp.com/TUESDAYS - Save 20% off & free shipping at https://www.manscaped.com promo code TUESDAYS - Support the show and get up to 33% off some sweet new metal art with the code TUESDAYS at https://displate.com/tuesdayswithstories?art=624740987334c

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy here we are we're here we're late but we're here sorry buddy good to be back hey hey we're not late for them that's true we're right we're early yeah we're doing an early thing now it's coming out a couple hours

early when we can oh we're able because midnight is weird we're trying to hit this algorithm it's all about the other by the way it's all pipes fuck the algorithm and the thumbnail I somehow I don't know what I was why I watched the Godfather 2 with the commentary couple of commentary which was fantastic yes then I went on Ronon's new podcast we talked movies I hate a new pod feel like he I feel like he duped me oh yeah we split up you were like I can't do the podcast anymore and and then I was like all right well I'm gonna start my own podcast and then I was like it's just a free forum and then I was like will you come be a

guest and they like what are we talking about like just what you did last weekend what I did last weekend we reference Seinfeld and say come and jizz a lot yeah cleave it up it's all pipes yeah but it's your pod now so we went I went and did the movie it's a check it out run out it's called run on talk talk movies with a joke these I think but what was I talking about oh we talked to Godfather I don't know how but somehow the Godfather ended up in my YouTube algorithm and then they get you they full major yeah it's a big headline it's got Fredo and it says why was Fredo missing from the funeral

secret revealed and you're like oh shit let me check this out and it's nonsense wow there's just a guy being like well maybe he was tired maybe he was sick like there's no evidence and I'm really maybe we should be doing that our algorithm like no should say you know how to need a woman out well we could but we might actually talk about that that's true I don't know I think it's a it's what about some integrity you know I had this today I watched the UFC fight I was like oh I found a fight here we go and it was a guy drawing and he's a gotcha you don't want to show me I want to show you I can draw well these women are doing

that I noticed too with the reels I was going through some ladies reels and then every the picture it's like a woman like in a bikini like yes yes and I'm like whoo and I click on it and she's in a kitchen like baking like hey this is how you make brownies where's the clam I want to see the clam not the brown yes yes I'll take a brown hole but yeah no it's it's they know what they're doing it's it's the new whoa crazy news if you click this link and you're like oh I like crazy news and you click it now you're an ISIS yeah my whole thing I'm not falling for it it's all Corleone a this Corleone this and then it clicks and or

some of these science like 50 things you definitely didn't know about science I've clicked on that and they're like Jerry on the show is a comedian like what yeah exactly Newman is his neighbor whoa he lives in 5a no shit Kramer was originally called Kessler yeah I know that your mother fucker right right George is based on Larry David that was a great movie everybody knows that it was an Amadeus yeah but right show that that YouTube stuff I gotta I'll go today John Cazell Cazell Cazell Cazell is amazing and I've watched it and now I'm gonna have 88 John Cazell queefs on my ass in five films all nominated for

best picture I caught that in the video well I should put it I make me I should make my own video make your own but I just on Cazell and they'll click on it maybe I should write like the real Mark Norman and it's me like I'm just like yeah push ups well it's it's it's the transvestite of videos cuz you're like oh here we go wait I don't think you can say that it's the cross dresser right no it's the woman well no I'm saying it's the the different metaphor drag queen oh drag queen drag queen is fine that's okay kids like them yeah it's the drag queen of clicks cuz you go

hey here we go ah that's not what I thought I thought I'd see tits and as a dick right yeah all right well my I was raised by a transvestite cross dressing drag queen that's the you can't do the V word oh is that right vestites bad I believe so all right well the the trans V the the drag queen who raised me got killed because he hooked up with a dude in a van and the dick came out the guy killed right so there you go folks don't don't make fake YouTube or you'll get killed in a van at home of Louisiana don't go chase waterfalls what is a vestite what was the meaning of that yes it's do we have any idea I don't know

best it's like a bug I got a vestite in inflation cuz trans is a cross right yeah and then dresser oh okay you're bestighted sounds nice Italian it's of it's foreign it's imported but an Italian it sounds much nicer they say is Latin for clothing is not but I thought when we were kids transvestite meant cross dresser oh it did yeah but I think it's like you're all in when you're a trans you enjoy it you like it it's not like Mrs. Doubtfire right she's just doing it for a goal to fuck kids it's not like me when my parents went away yes but the pantyhose on the high heels no that is it wait no

you're saying it's like you live that way ah that I don't know and what's that a raffi rocky rocky horror picture show I see ever raffi oh yeah that was kind of a kid as wheels on the bus go around I mean he's saying all the kid hits oh yeah it's my dad hit me a couple time not crazy yeah my dad hit me once real good backhand cried looked at him and that was a wrap on that is that right yeah it was bad he we were I was in the middle seat he just went like that and it left a handprint on my face and I think it was one of those ones where the tears didn't come right away I just turned and went like I think the red like

a bird and the tears all at once and I gotta imagine like you just look and you go oh my god so fucking garbage that's how I feel when I hit the lady but it's you look like Marv you got that red iron you know but yeah my dad gave me a couple wallops and he goes what are you gonna do if you ever join the army and I went what he went yeah yeah the army thing that was big when the army the army gets you they're gonna really fuck you yes cuz he was army so he's like you're you're being a piece of shit so you need a little discipline there young man yeah and you're like well can't you provide me with discipline why don't I

go the army well he did with a big old shoe upside the head the army I'm grateful for all our armed troops that never crossed by my army in college neither one even oh really sniffed across my nostrils only guess I'm all set one is way different than the other one involves getting laid getting drunk and the other ones college well you know there's there's after school it's post high school yeah it's for the future yep and you got no direction some direction yes and it provides structure structure and and hope resume something yeah anal I don't know it does provide somewhere to go because you know kids

can be you don't want to idle you want to have a goal they need a goal and boy I was so rudderless it was such a difficult time could use a little bootcamp yeah maybe the army would have been nice but it'd be nice to be a different guy now you'd be standing up straight you wouldn't have herpes well I would have went straight to Iraq because I was 19 for 9-11 or Afghanistan so I would have been right in the right in the jizz of it whoa yeah isn't that weird to think about yeah you might be dead or you might have killed some brown people or myself or yourself yeah so I suicide grateful I didn't go great for all you

that did go great we got a lot of folks out there the grateful dead you can you try try every six months I really take it for a spin what you don't like them no it's poppy it's groovy it's funky I like it but it's a poppy touch of gray touch a great touch of gray is a pop song that's their one that's the one pop literally and I like touch of gray okay yeah touch of gray I mean I like Casey Jones and touch of gray yeah there's a couple fun ones what are you doing knocking on wood he's knocking on heaven's door I thought you were trying to we're gonna make the lawyer burst in like the Kool-Aid guy yeah he's gonna Kramer in here no I mean

touch of gray is like I think deadheads are like touch of gray you fucking piece of shit season nine for grateful I see but this doesn't poppy about other than grateful they got like 48 minutes song it's like a jazz horseshit poppy's little sloppy but there's some gold in there I mean when you can you get in that groove it's like a hot tub you slide right in and Garcia's tickling your sack it is nothing better there's plenty better nothing better what are you handling well it's got a tap you it's kind of like bisexuality you got a finger right the right way you're gonna be different I've had a lot of fingers

and I just didn't come I'm sorry but I put it on it's right next to Pearl Jam and Springsteen and like hard rock classic rock deep cuts on the XM and I'll pop over there if I'm driving and I'm like but it's like a lot of like like this all right well you know what I want some stank right that's the problem you want a little dick yeah they're all labia yeah give me some whatever but you know I appreciate the drugs and the traveling and the stuff and the missing finger well speaking of bands and rock and roll I got into some quite a bit of jizz you got the boss up my ass I went right up there to Boston

road trip I got my I'm a good son I'm a real you know I'm a real Seinfeld net one episode well he slapped that into you got my old man some Springsteen tickets he's never seen Springsteen he had a kid when he was 11 and you know by the time he was 16 I was in high school so yeah he will Smith you what when you were nine yeah so he didn't get I think I was younger than that maybe six will six this guy's Chris Brown over here ever six from blossom do I she was more of a seven and a half if you ask me maybe an eighth she had something pull her up whoa is she alive she's got to be in porn by now I would think because

where do you go from the the greatest special of all time where do you go to the being the hot girl on a big old NBC sit by the way that was a reference to comedian and so was that's really Alabama that mystified everybody what last episode two episodes three episodes ago you said something I said that's really Alabama we're talking about Seinfeld yeah like I got like 50 messages being like what is this a reference to anyways that's comedian and go familiarize yourself on Netflix check it out folks it's a hell of a documentary it's fun to see Seinfeld cursing and failing yeah but anyways we

talked about this I alluded to it I teased it but Springsteen on tour he's 73 years old wow he looks good oh my god he takes he rips his shirt off at the end of the show oh the place went crazy Sarah fainted like I had to catch her yeah and finger while she was out but yeah we bought the tickets to bought the Springsteen tickets and went out there road trip me canter Sarah and my old man we saw him up in Boston drove up and I think I touched on these tickets they really fuck you now the rates the fees the what do you call those fees thank you Mike Feeneys yes I got a case of fees $300 face value tickets $79 in

fees times four tickets so it's like 1600 bucks that the 79 is the price of a ticket to another show exactly what my first Pearl Jam show in 1996 was 1650 wow $16 and 50 cents good year now I'm seeing Springsteen the year he was born and it's 16 bucks it's the kind of money where you can't even ask people for the money no it's too much I can't be like all right dad you want to see Springsteen sure sunny boy all right you owe me 400 bucks no my wife unless I give it to her and neither canter well canter maybe but you feel bad yeah that's his whole college savings that's his rent yeah so I'm out 16 hundo but it's

worth it to go see Brucey baby we drive up and it's like a pilgrimage you know and you get the tickets and you drive in I got them on the XM radio and you do in the pregame pregame and we're going back and forth from Pearl Jam to Springsteen I'll throw on classic vinyl which is a fun channel hell yeah and you drive in is the anticipation is so exciting and we had great seats which I stopped posting photos of concerts now thank everyone wants to go hey shit seats how'd you get that and because the camera doesn't do it just never does it doesn't do it it's like the moon you can't shoot it no the moon is good moon

is good so we're but we're dead center in the the seat and people also think this they think floor seats is like primo mmm but when you're on the floor you have to if you're a tall person you're fucked ruined your 50 rows back trying to see this so we got some elevation nice cushy low seats and it was just so exciting to go up into the city and it takes me back because you know I started in Boston and you're driving every night from the suburbs yes the secret parking spot and it meant so much to me as a teenager to know the city you're like I know where to park that's big to be an 18 year old kid from the suburbs and be

like here's where your park at 7 p.m. you got that right such a thrill and I still feel a great deal of pride that I'm like look dad I'm a city guy he doesn't say anything but whatever also back in when you were banging it was no GPS no you know you had to know the city you were like a cab driver like I got a shortcut over here this we can go through this alley this girl blows you for a nickel you had to know a couple things you had to know it and Boston is you needed a map book there was no Google Maps and also if there's no what do you call that New York no grid no grid it's all one ways and cobblestones and hobos

yes very exciting we get to the sea and then you're like I'm gonna get some merch and then you get there in the t-shirt 50 bucks it's a little high I love Bruce he's shaped my life he's the most important man in my life and I'm not even kidding ouch but he's a man of the people in the blue collar that's a branding thing $50 shirts and $400 tickets well what are we talking arena dome this is the Boston guy oh T.D. Bank north guard and where are they all right so you're up in the Robert lozier we got the loge baby primo you think you died and went to heaven and I gotta tell you I'm very excited about the show of course

I'm a big guy and Bruce guy and and and he really is the difference between me being stuck up there and those suburbs and being down here and pursuing comedy and he's a constant influence and inspiration I got nudes of him all over the wall sure and he comes out and boy the first song I start bawling I'm crying and then Sarah looks over and she's like oh my god she's so sweet and I'm like I can't stop crying my dad looked at me he would have elbowed me I couldn't I had to like you know hide the face your waterworks but I lost it I cried for about three hours the show is 27 songs two hours 50 minutes no breaks

wow just going and everyone's going crazy you see the people dancing and singing along and fist bumping and air drumming I love a show love it magical show magical night I could not stop crying born to run Thunder Road 10th Avenue freeze-out you know trapped no surrender all that shit are you in a seat are you standing oh I'm standing people around you will sit because everyone's old and it's like oh it's a ballad sit and I'm like you fucking whatever yeah the emotion music and really get right to the tits it gets right in there the lyric and then Clarence is dead and during 10th Avenue

freeze-out they play a video of them I'm crying it's just it's too much for me and it was a beautiful night and so God bless you thanks boss hell yeah Brucey now you ever seen the Sandler Bruce Springsteen impression no it's pretty great he does a monologue and he's standing backwards and he's got the sleeveless white with the black other jeans with the the hanky in the back yeah oh it's great it's pretty great I know the stiller stiller doesn't amaze oh really yeah yeah he did it on the Ben Stiller show it's like pitch perfect ah yeah he's good well not to take away from the Springsteen but you

see the Sandler Mark Twain I haven't seen it I saw the Kevin James sketch that was gold I didn't see that oh it's fantastic incredible really very good it was so good oh it's good all right it's great all right yeah I'll check it out we gotta dial it down he's gonna be like what yeah don't build it up good I'm not already not a Kevin James head to begin with it's good okay I think it's good I think it's good James head I'm not a James head I didn't know there was James Massacre but I'd kill for some Sarah had these days but no I don't know I don't know jeez I didn't know there was a term but it's it's funny okay all

right I'll tell you he's got good sketches but I bring it up because it's just Sandman is so lovable he comes out there and he's just so likeable and rock had the line of the night oh rock comes out and he goes uh who's that Paul Pelosi and Paul blues in the front row and he goes hey we know what it's like because they both got beat up who's Paul Pelosi these boys are below the what's her face Nancy Pelosi with a hammer I'm in comedy world oh that's good that's go that's the best Will Smith joke he's done that's very good she's like thank you I'm wearing a hat is he all like tuned up and shit well

he's got a hat on cuz I think he's got a big hole in his noggin just to go out there and immediately go up Pelosi like you know he set that up but it was so good cuz no one saw it coming oh got you up there I'm like in comedy I'm like how do I not know Paul Pavosti I was thinking Paul Provenzio oh no no no both both been beat up but this is a great opener but it's just so touching and you're like comedy baby and then how about Jonah Hill making Kanye not hate Jews anymore oh I saw that that's that's great that's a silly post he's a tarred the yay but come on of all the Jews my have you seen Seinfeld that's what I said

or what are you all I'm like what are you doing exactly Larry David nothing but now but it also just shows like oh you're actually really still crazy we were talking this last night at Grove 34 who's your Mount Rushmore Jewish comedians well you know me we're talking four is it four guys I go Larry sure I gotta have grout show in there big big he maybe Woody probably Woody maybe okay I'm going Woody and then well now that I know sign you know we were cool already I don't need to put him up there where he's he's a peer you got Silverman Joan Rivers I'll go Joan I'll go Joan that was a trick joking Rodney oh he's a Jew

big he no kids Juke and then Rickles is a is a is a yeah honorary discharge yeah Rickles is good yeah it's a penny young men yeah Saul Saul's cute yeah but those that's my four what do you got Lenny Bruce yeah not not get a laugh out of me that guy yeah I've never had a gaffa not a tee he yeah it's gotta be Larry Woody grout show yeah those are the big three oh okay sure yeah you got you got Seinfeld you got Sandler you got what's that guy is it George Burns some people like Burns came in he's Irish are you probably right yeah he's gonna be Irish oh Brooks Mel Brooks is up there yeah you feel like you have to put him up there

yeah I mean blazing anal and producers and Frankenstein baseballs yeah men and tights dead and loving it he's got a couple of you know kerfuffles but a legend and still going by the way I heard a history of the world is killer oh I heard it's the worst thing anyone I heard it from a couple comics I trust so I gotta start watching more comedy because someone told I don't want to name a name but there's like a new special and like seven people like it's the worst garbage I ever saw in my life it's a piece of human dog shit I wish they fucking would catch fire and die and then someone else is like I was great I

loved it it's tough out there and I'm like how could this be it's a swing state because you hear six people say something's awful yeah and you're like oh wow I guess you put out an awful special and then someone else you love and respect is like no it's amazing I know I know how could this be well it's a kooky time everybody's got their little bubble I can't keep up yeah you got to watch what you like and start a movie podcast with Ron and like what you watch watch what you like so your charges raise your charges still working yeah you want to switch no no I'm good it's working but there you go Chuck got his

charges is a big favor oh San Diego Chargers it's off and on over here so where you been what are you been doing what the hell I haven't seen it's 88 if Springsteen is up top of the mountain peak Everest pinnacle yeah I went took that gondola right down to Hades oh boy Trash heep known as Toledo oh I heard about Toledo I was at Dayton Bissett last yeah he's a cute twink he looks like a Holocaust survivor that surfs he's been he's blonde but yeah cute kid but we did a Perry's Berg Ohio Toledo's britches were too big we had to slide down to Perry's Berg I've been there I know it it's not not good not

and you if you forget like oh Toledo's a punchline it's a funny place it's like the the fifth best city in Ohio which is not saying much but man it you take it on the chin you go oh yeah this sucks yeah I forgot like we've been doing these nice clubs these good rooms theater here and there specials shooting shit and you go right back down the hell and you're like oh yeah I boy I forgot this is this is depressing there's not a lot to do it's one of those you just walk them all there's nothing else going on there that's it we go to Waffle House every day and the hotel I've stayed at a Hilton Garden Inn it's across the street

from the club I saw half the fucking audience at the hotel yeah now they know where you're staying and one guy I saw him in the elevator he goes hey Mark Norman I'm coming to your show and I go oh and I went the other way cuz I took the stairs so then I go up the stairs and I get out on floor three and then I've had this happen many times we're right there so now I go oh hey he goes hey same floor I go you got that right fatty click click ah this guy knows what room I'm in now yeah that's awkward and then I'm doing I'm writing in my room so I'm like oh what's up with the Holocaust it wasn't real and then I'm

like can he hear me so now now that's all of my head then I'm jerking off and I'm like can I hear my poor I mean the whole thing the whole thing's kooky yeah it's awkward and then I had this with DiPallo one time years ago and you know I'm hanging in my room doing my routine and then I come out and he's like rocket man huh oh he's like you can hit those high notes and I was like oh I didn't and I didn't know he was next door I also didn't know I was singing out loud you know you just got rocket man on you're like Nick is gonna be a Scooby-Gee of course and then he's like yeah I heard you singing the whole time and I'm like I

didn't know I was singing out because you have it blasting oh I picture you with the bathrobe on curl is in your hair you got the wooden spoon the brush and you just sing it and thank God you weren't singing a Jolene or something Jolene Jolene I mean Jolene is less embarrassing than rocket man I don't know well at least she fucks guys he fucks guys also yeah yeah yeah he's a sir that's true but certainly yeah and he likes the sirs but racial sirs but man that is embarrassing hearing somebody singing oh that's tough yeah I don't yeah it was embarrassing but yeah so you got the guy I got the guy in the room off quiet yeah

I'm just adding to the to the shittiness of it and then you like it's one of those things where you get to the club and no one says hi to you so you're like oh yeah where's the green room again usually as a manager like hey you go here what you need me should I send a server in how much time is everybody do it there was none of that so you just get in there and I'm like that's 728 the shows at 730 let me go out and talk to somebody so then I gotta find the sound guy and then he's like oh yeah you you how much time you want to do and all that and I'm like what's weird that I define you and then the host goes up to forget

to light him he go I mean the whole thing is it's cuckoo bananas and then the heckling my god the heckling and then just the lack of care from the audience because they're like you're here so why should we treat this better than it is you see what I'm saying like they'll there the club is the bar is here for the club so they're not gonna be nicer than the shittiness of the club right so I got the guy in the front row texting and then he would just talk to his girlfriend and at one point I go hey could you zip it and he goes no oh I gotta you gotta respect it yeah I'm like why wouldn't why would he zip it

there's no security and then at one point I yelled it's a security guy this guy kept yelling shit kept yelling shit and I couldn't do a pause you can't pause for timing because he'll yell in that moment yes so I go something something he yells out and I go hey buddy there's a big bald security guard I go are you gonna talk to him are we gonna do this all night and he was like what and I'm like yell at this guy and so now the whole show is fucked the momentum is gone now it's about this guy so the the guy goes over to him he goes hey stop talking and then he walks away then he goes back to it I mean it was

wacky get it together Toledo I feel bad I feel bad I feel like some of these places they don't have the staff and it's a lot of turnover because it's a shitty get and so you don't have like those doorman that have been there for a while I guess but they were fully staffed I mean I'm trying to keep it real here and look the lady who runs it is very nice but it is an Applebee's right with me on stage that's what it is and at one point okay at one point oh shit I just had it and I lost it man heckler and heckler and you chuck with your symbols and your charges that don't work gave us the working now oh I had

something else oh I got it back so I talked to a couple bigger comics than us and they're like oh you doing clubs again I'm like yeah I got a build-ups in the material so I'm doing these rough rooms and he goes well tell them you don't want to check spot if you sell out they will just do no checks and I'm like oh I didn't know that so I tell my manager like hey tell these clubs no checks and he's like I'll try okay and you're like you don't try you do but he goes oh they pushed back they got a lot of new people they need to do the checks and I was like all right well I tried and then I go up I counted now this is

where I'm a cunt and I hope the club never hears this I counted I got 11 minutes in before checks and the checks lasted until I was done so you're like I'm just doing a 48 minute check spot no it's brutal and I'm grateful for any work yes yes work a lot of these funny but I think they just they don't they could put in a little more effort I don't know what it's like on their end I don't know but I know that there's other clubs that don't give out checks at 11 exactly exactly and some clubs don't give out checks at all yeah that's what I don't understand I remember doing a club and recording something and then they

were like well we won't do checks since you're recording and you're like so you are able to do this exactly and then it's a weird thing where you're like are we still doing checks and then I get a glare from all the waiters like hey fuck you man and I'm like I'm not mad at you I'm just saying I'm trying to do my job what if I went up during your checks and I was just like let me interrupt and I get that they got to do the checks but do we need it for 48 minutes yeah it's brutal it is it is it's rough but you think that like an audience that's coming to see you they try to do it quietly they're aware of checks so they

try to go like okay let's just do this quick yeah at least the audience I feel like good comedians are more aware of yes yes that's true that's true but I think these are still like Toledo folk they're just like oh we don't oh oh is just bothering you oh we didn't know that they're not bad people they're not mean they're not vindictive they're just like oh I was paying my check I didn't think about it with you on stage but it isn't part of this what you expect and want like you went to Toledo for a reason now that's not expected to be a theater because you could not go to Toledo that's true go to Louisville or

Cincinnati where they're not quite as I mean isn't that the idea you want to test this new stuff for Toledo I guess my point is I knew it was gonna be bad it is bad and I'm talking about I see okay yeah so but also you think hey I'll work out a bunch of new but it's actually worse to work out new in a rough room of course yeah but in my head it's kind of when you go to an open mic are like I'll try some new shit fuck around throw some shit against the wall and then no one's listening and you're like oh I actually have to bring the heat in this open mic ironically that's a common misconception is the idea of like I'll

go to the shitty room yes and you're like it's just gonna shatter your confidence totally wrong you got to do the new shit on a hot show yes you try it in the hot room and then you when it works there then you take it to the shitty room exactly somewhere in between now there's a little inside anal I mean we're we're queefing too much about the the biz and the art and the anal but like the art and the great TV channel art and anal a&a that sounds like my granddad and his best buddy art and anal yeah art and anal they're always they're like thickest thieves art and anal in the morning you know you got one guy

talking about the the museum and the other guy's like huh art and anal did that first that's right who's our show that was good oh yeah with that lady oh that was great that's online yeah that's that was big that was fun hey folks Tuesday's stories is brought to you by better help you got to do it you got to get it we are learning who we are and it's a lifelong journey better helps online therapy can deepen your self-awareness until you're no longer regretting your decisions and you've become someone your mother can be proud of we all do therapy I went last week had a weird one I got to bring up to you

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with the code Tuesdays at manscaped.com that's 20% off and free shipping with the code Tuesdays at manscaped.com hop into the best deal of the year with manscaped you got that right fatty hey hey folks Tuesdays are stories brought to you by Displate yes love the display take your place from frat house to frat home with displays of metal posters did your buddy spill beer on the wall no problem oh displays can easily cleaned unlike traditional paper posters that's true do you want that security deposit back well displays are hung with magnetic stickers so there's no wall damage how do you like that we love these I love I got a nice one of a taxi driver right on my wall it's tin it's got a glossy finish it looks great everybody compliments

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now back to the show yeah so that was it you know I had dating there shits all right gonna wrong pipe pew see even I had dating there and I had Corbin good guys who's Corbin Corby Corby Lee master he's uh I don't know Corby Lee master he's a midwest quay if he's out there he's a great guy great jokes funny guy nice guy loves comedy you can talk comedy all day so we could all bond in there it's like you go out and get your ass kicked on the on the battlefield and you come back to the barracks and you're like oh well what about that heckle that lady stormed out she was a cunt he was gay by the way Corby Lee master sounds like an army rank there comes Corby Lee master Benjamin oh yeah he's like I'm sorry you know yeah I can see that dad hook Corby Lee master on the double

right whatever is on the uh he's never done a push-up but uh good guy funny guy well that sounds like a hell of a trip you bond you're in that green room the green room is smaller than the studio and you're just going holy shit you're covered in sweat you're eating a quesadilla that's ice cold I wrote that green I opened for Chad Daniels there way back in the day is that right it was uh it was the weekend the first um what's the movie with the bow and arrow uh Robin Hood Woody Harrelson and Jennifer Lawrence big huge thing bow and arrow no no it's a massive fucking thing winter's bone oh no no it's a hunger game yes hunger games yes hunger get the first hunger games came out and uh whatever whatever year we never hear that one isn't that the the whole

thing is bow and arrow right it's a fun way to put it I just know the poster what's that move with the gun oh boys in the hood no but guns and guns and roses is a band that fucking rules sure how can you listen to Grateful Dead when guns and roses exist that's my question can we enjoy both I guess you can I'm just saying oh there's pussy what about tits I'm like I like a both no that's all one thing that's a bad analogy all right well they're both bands if you said pussy and sandwiches both great I fuck both of them I'm saying tits and pussy is one unit that's like saying well there's axle and then I see okay okay but they're in the pit the pit oh Jesus the lawyer what about Seinfeld and uh in the uh saving private Ryan can I enjoy both you can enjoy both

they're both uh entertainment I guess they're choices to watch but you know what I mean I'm saying I'm like I'm gonna pop on Grateful Dead but I'm like I got uh you know uh the stone sitting right here sure yeah I get it uh but any tits what was I gonna say about uh Chad Dan what Chad Dan oh Chad Daniels yeah anyways he wanted to go see Hunger Games I remember being like what's up with this guy and then we watched Hunger Games and I was like okay I guess you sat through it I sat in the theater and we held hands and ate popcorn he did the dick trick with the popcorn that's salty in the hole and that was the highlight I was like this movie stinks wow you're a good opener though but it was way back in the day I don't know when the first Hunger Games can we get a

ruling on that it must have been pre oh nine oh ten yeah oh ten oh boy two that yeah two thousand I'd better say 2011 or 12 maybe 2012 2011 I'm going I'll answer I'm going oh 10 I'm saying 11 final answer 12 I knew it was 12 I thought you made a face when I said 12 throw you off you made me a face I made the face to throw you don't throw me no throw all right all over my new Kathy Lee Gifford game of throw all right well so but but he's funny guy oh Chad Daniels oh it's spectacular yeah killer cow it's very underrated check him out I think he's got a new thing everybody's got a special coming out in 10 minutes I know it's a lot of specials and I'm plugging Brent to you and I'm plugging Nathan Macintosh I'm plugging Jeff Asbest I'm

plugging Mike Vecchione I'm plugging you I'm butt plugging Vecchione baby well you know what I was on Todd and Tyler in Omaha I think it was Todd and Tyler I mentioned this they have us it took over for art and anal they have a a secret where they say uh Ghosty Joe List this weekend he's part of the secret crew I like that because every week they have to promote a comic so they have a secret code so you know who the good comics are oh is that right which is a good idea to have brilliant kind of like ear poll so you can be like genuine check out the Mike Vecchione special let him know this is real deal we gotta do that the next week you can be like hey Oscar chuckle dicks has a new special I love it check it out and notice where I'm not touching my ear yes yeah we gotta do one

you gotta go see the new Louie you know it's pretty good you know we gotta throw something what should we do an ear wiggle a nose tap a chin scratch I don't know I'm not sure toothbrush speaking to which also Jay Larson who's hilarious yeah he's got a special coming out okay he has to come on the show and I had to tell him we don't have guests plug the fuck out of the special I should get some details I like Larson funny guy check him out but maybe the the right ear is good special the left ear is gay like an earring oh he's a funny guy but then you're like well you know Mateo well you gotta do both exactly what remember the earring thing that was big yeah back in the 90s but now I think any year you can be you can be anything now now you got a nose pierce a neck tat the

forehead tat the teardrop nipple nipple pier but Cuomo made a fucking governor with nips pierced oh I think that Natalie all tats oh yeah tons of tat um how about this we're driving back me cancer Sarah driving back from the springsteen pilgrimage oh yeah never seen this before this was a thrill we're driving on the 95 and there's a big 18 wheeler in front of us to the right I'm in the pass only heading to pass this fella and I see a huge hawk in the media the strip hawk whoa big ol I think it was a hawk I mean I'm one of my Joe bird I don't know what's an awk what are you bear grill is so but it was a bit it was like the size of a cat like Greg the cat yes yes big cat I wish it was Greg the cat because this thing it takes off right I just watch it take

off low line drive take it because I'm driving I got my eyes right on the road he takes off and goes uh you know east east and then he goes right in front of the truck and I'm watching this whole thing and I go uh oh and I watch him come and he disappears in front of the truck and I just click my eyes over to the right side of the truck to watch him fly out sure I don't see anything fly out oh and then I'm like why didn't that bird fly out and all of a sudden you just see oh he got feathers everywhere and then you just see and a and a big cat bird carcass oh my god pulling up the fucking whoa the street feathers hit my car you turn the windshield wipers on and I'm like it was like Randy Johnson that time remember that he threw the ball and hit the bird

oh yeah yeah the pitcher yes yes pitcher of water so I just watched the hot ocean pitcher annihilated wow that's probably a dangerous anal you know it's done that that was the last one it was crazy and I was like usually the birds they they know not yes yes but uh I mean I don't know that was a hawk but it was light gray with some brown and it was big it was like call in if you know about the uh the bird species yeah this was 95 around exit 91 in Connecticut it was just a real and we drove pat and I was like see if you can see guts and jizz and a beak on the front of the thing yes and then they were trying to look back because I'm driving a safe guy I'm directing a guy off and then they both fell back because they're like we look like we're like you piece of shit yeah

you didn't want to be staring at him because he's like probably self-conscious that he just killed a wild beast oh my god Hudson hawk this is insane you saw a real animal go down and what happened to Hawkeye and that their whole thing they got the eye good point Iowa Hawkeyes yes no wing clipped the wing right wing left wing I don't know but it was a east wing it was quite a sight to watch life and death occur right in front of my tips and a hawk too a cat okay an armadillo forget about it but a hawk that's like when there's a trans shooter it's unheard of which I wonder that because we just had the Nashville shooting it was a woman trans is she trans to boy man is that confirmed oh yeah wow so right when she became a man she went nuts and she's 20 or he's 28 no kidding

oh they changed all the news then wait what the first reports were that's gonna be three weeks old now well give it a goog there see dog I'm saying they must have changed it since eyes because originally they were saying a 28 year old woman oh they're saying it's a transition identified as trans oh no kidding yeah I mean the story that I saw said woman that was transitioning into a man that's how they listen wow trans ish it says so I'll go with New York Times it says uh because New York Times posted and then they reneged redacted redacted they changed a 28 year old from Nashville oh interesting yeah it's interesting because uh yeah I had a comment that was getting some likes so I noticed that they took it down yeah yeah I was a little upset let's hear it well I

just wrote there was a big shooting three dead and I just read quick everyone write the exact same thing you wrote last time oh it's like 170 likes but then they took it down I really wanted to get some followers from this that's not bad it says in this article from New York Times there was confusion about the gender identity of the assailant in the immediate aftermath of the attack chief Drake Drake said that shooter identified as transgender officials used she and her to refer to the shooter but according to a social media post in a LinkedIn profile the shooter appeared to identify as male and recent thank you wow did you guys see the body cam foot I saw a little bit it looks like a video game it's like just a bunch of guys like clear take a right

head's a head on a swivel and then they see her and they're like wow the whole thing's on there I mean the the internet is bananas it's the wild west out there you're watching a 28 year old person get shot in a school yeah that's wild well yeah I guess Sarah she called it how so because that's what I was bringing it up she was like I wonder if it's because they said woman and that's usually a man uh yeah exactly so she was like I was wondering but uh wow yeah yeah it's gonna throw uh though this is the first it's like when the agent lady won the academy award this is the first trans shooter I believe or school shooter I should say yeah it's probably been some trans shooters I'm sure oh boy it all feels very controversial but we didn't shoot anybody I know we're just

reading the news here folks I shot a special recently they're coming out soon I shot a bird when I was nine it was a hawk in Connecticut should we cut all this this is terrible I don't think we did anything wrong either we're reading the we're reading the story as it's written I know but people were shot that's true well we know where where our heart goes out to the to the cleaves and uh I'm sure by now there'll be another one yeah that's a good point it's old now yeah it's old yeah but you know you saw a hawk die sandy hook sandy hawk I will hawk die ah there you go what else you got because I got another thing over here yeah hit me Fanny I don't have much I'm in town this weekend are you uh no wait uh SLC yeah the Mormon uh bring them young yeah boy

that way now we're giving a time stamp they're gonna hate us yeah well a lot of time stamps go ahead and shoot us wait what can you do I've been in the last two weekends I was home oh let me talk about this please because last Saturday one of the great nights of my whole life come on special night well that's an exaggeration a little bit of a hyperbole yeah the spring steam that was a that's something but so uh Saturday night you know our old pal Ari Shafir a Friday night excuse me he's ugly Saturday night I was off yes he certainly is uh Friday night I know when he shaves it down and cleans up he looks okay he looks okay but that beard he's like a fucking mountain Jew but it's all swiped in oh okay good good swoop so feel better his lady yeah she's gonna sift through that

poor shit yeah it's not good full of matzah and jizz well Andy's 51 it's true he was telling me he's like yeah we got in the hot tub the other night I fucked her and I was like you fucked somebody they just picturing it made my stomach turn well doesn't he float to the top with those balls I mean oh yeah those aren't booze they're insane yeah he's got a crazy pair of cards but uh but anyway so Friday night he was at the beacon and he asked me a little while ago or whatever now it's a little while ago he said hey you want to do the beacon and I said sure I'll do the beacon who says no to that what am I gonna say no to the beacon and then Stavros so I said great I'll do the beacon and I had to move a couple things around I felt terrible because I was supposed to do this other

show for this guy and it paid well and it's a fun show I heard but I was just it was two miles like I gotta I know I just want to be at the beacon yes big night and it was gonna be me and Stavros and Schultz and Ari hell yeah good group well Stavros had to bail he was sick but Derosa came and good good hang great hang and so I said I'm I know me I can't be running around doing spots I'm gonna want to hang at the theater yes part of the thing you know you I know me so I had a couple spots I had to let these fellas down gently I feel terrible I'll make it up to them and I tried to find a replacement but everybody was out of town it's a Saturday night right Friday Friday that's a tough spot for a New York comedian well they're near the cellar so they could always poach cellar

okay so I thought they'll be okay all right well this is lunch I mean beacon with those that gang a gaggle of comics I mean we got something here I know but I felt terrible then I had a couple stand spots and I go I texted Patrick and go listen I don't want to pull a Norman over here but I gotta I gotta bail because I got a big gig here I'm at the beacon you got that right and he goes no problem don't sweat it all good he's the best he is really shout out to Patrick Milligan I love that man sweet sweet saccages it really takes care of it and it's an environment that you feel like you know you don't want to cancel move spots no you have to they're quite understanding that's true and shout out to the stand great club good room great folks over there and all so many gays there

they fill up that room oh it's like the province town over there it's like a home game yeah yes homo game I had a great interaction yesterday I was on the street and a guy comes up to me Latina fella cover coveralls and he stood in front of me like this he went I'm gay it touched my heart it was so meaningful because you know I'm on kook alert and I can see this guy and I was like oh god what's happening here big old smile had a bag of chick for gay and he just said it's so great ironically okay oh I love this guy and then I'll call back to him in a minute so anyways I text Patrick I say hey I can't do the I can't do the spots I'm at the beacon and he goes no problem and then he texts back like an hour later first Ari is like yeah you

could probably do your sets he's like give me up I ate 30 and I'm like ah shit I just banged I wanted to think yeah to hang and then right then Patrick Texan goes hey anyway you could make it down for 9 15 oh okay and I go you know what actually I can't good for you saving my ass god bless you and I said no problem I'll be there it all worked out Fanny so look at the charge it just came undone piece of shit swing and a miss chuck I know I'm joking I just think it's funny for you to do something nice and then trash you for it no good deed uh but it's a it's a good bit yeah he doesn't like it it's a decent bit anyways thanks for nothing but um uh so I go I you know what I'll be there I'll do it and he goes great you're saving my ass thank god all my other comics suck and I go I know

I've seen the lineup so I go to the beacon Sarah's gonna come with me she's got the night off we go and get a nice plate of Mexican food walks to the park it was a beautiful day I love a Mexican go I'm like let's go up early I love an early I was like we walk through the park we'll get up there that way we're there so we eat some Mexicans out then I said we've got to bring something it's this big night sure you can't go and not bring some good point I didn't think about the gift so you never do so we go to Magnolia and like I go let me get a dozen cupcakes there I go give me three devil food jizz give me three my father's ass to smart move get a gift that you would want there we go 12 the 12 adds up quick oh that magnolia is no picnic you go give me give me three of

this three of that she goes okay you got two left and I'm like I just got here right right the Mount Rushmore but so I get some banana pudding I get uh yeah it's not good right no by the way I would never eat that but people like it oh it's the best what banana pudding rule banana put well they're known for their banana put all right yes there so I got some banana pussy and I got you know a couple chocolates couple whatever you know what it is oh yeah then you go to that register and they're like that'll be that'll be one spring steam ticket please I just gave my wallet I was like there's a couple cards in there fend for yourself sure and uh yeah and then they get the tip thing by the way I know it's like 20 22 28 35 percent I'm like it's a cupcake bitch you put some cupcakes in a shoe

box I don't understand I have I'm with you there and then how about the this that's the new move now they flip that Nazi right around and you gotta go I know and then they see what you picked it's all very intrusive well have you talked to Salak use about this this is his big talking point he's moving to Jersey he's a he's a zero tipper he cuts in and does zero and all these yeah yeah he's a Jew which is good because you know I'm not gonna pay him to take photos I'll tell you that no tip so I do custom I did three bucks that's fair I think that's fair if I went to a bartender and said give me a bud light I'd give him a buck I agree this is all sound and it's 12 I know people at home were like 12 cupcake but they're literally doing this two three five six 12 that's it and then they

hand it to you exactly tipper gore I mean you go to Dunkin Donuts you go give me the funky monkey give me the sprinkle give me the jimmies give me the glaze they put in a box you leave why am I tipping the magnolik hunt because what this plays a little more highfalutin and 12 cupcakes and a banana pudding it was 56 bucks so so a tip I'm like you want me to give you $12 who's running this ticket master the cupcakes the cakes of cup a $12 tip cake for putting cupcakes in a box I don't buy it I don't like it and these foreigners come in town and they see that shit and they uh well no they don't tip out there in England and in Italy and other white countries but they come in here they go what is this whites are bad yes we hate the honkies but yeah so they come in there go we're never coming back

here again we're going to Mexico next trip right but yeah anyway so it cost an arm and a leg and a shoe but now we got it so we got the bag and Sarah's like I'll carry it and I'm like this oh you're not pulling a fucking lane on me no the big cupcake so I tuck it in of course I gotta go to bucks to get my tea I come in and then you go over the orphan I keep saying orphium but beacon go to the beacon you go through the security and then you go up stand you're like I hope I don't know is he gonna be nervous people hanging out and the first person we see is Salakius we shave the mustache face another wrong with that and Ari's got the ruffled suit shirt I love the rough and you settle into that hang it's so night the show is in the way you start talking right away who do you hate who

sucks what race do you not like yes and uh it's just great everyone has a nice round of cupcakes on everybody you know everyone's got a cupcake we're licking the thing you like the cream you like the chocolate my father's gay and uh he got dancers what a whole group of dancers to come down that was fun wow kids no adults oh okay okay yeah grown-ups and he did it we he hosted the show brought me out I did 12 and then he brought the rose out and I had to leave but and they brought Schultz out and I think the place went fucking apeshit sure sure how about that haircut on schultzie huh I didn't notice the haircut oh really he's got the side shave with the top black oh it's a little uh a little Nazi no kidding yeah he still did Ari's show so he can't be full nuts

good point but I was dark we were side stage and and you know he said I'm the bad he's like you're the best comic I don't know anyone as funny as you and I said oh my god thanks so much there you go he's like you're number one I think he was talking to DeRosa yeah he was saying a lot of nice it was crazy I don't know I didn't expect him to but well he's got some new stuff that is pretty great yeah I didn't care for it but uh no I had to leave I missed it I heard and Ari by the way was doing the bit now you hate when someone's like oh Schultz has got this bit and then he's telling you and you're like well I'll just have to watch it because you're there's no way you're not butchering it yeah of course of course they always butcher he's trying to explain a bit and I'm like wait what is it and

he's like well maybe it's not that exactly build a butcher he's like what did I say and I'm like you're just ruining a guy's bit what do you say when you say something just tell me he's got a good bit I'll check him out exactly stop doing his bit you're blowing it but you get excited you want to go oh look at this but yeah it always goes horribly well and Ari's never had a good bit so he's excited to tell Schultz ah good point good point and he's still ruined that one we're having a good time yeah ruffles can't have just one but anyway so I do the show and then the Orpheum whatever the fuck it's called beacon hot I mean they're a hot dog wow they're a good group out there and that is a great ven and there's a few Tuesdays out there and there was a Russian

weirdo and and you get the longer you're kind of the more comfortable you get you're just kind of fucking around you're at the beacon and it's just a hot crowd you come off into roses going oh that was funny your father and then you're busting his balls and everyone shits on each other Ari goes back out there I had to run down to the stand but this is fun so you do your set at the beacon unreal and then I'm like it started late the whole thing I'm like I got to get in the cab so I like run across Broadway and wave down a cab old school that's a long that's a lot of green as they say yellow cab you jump in and it's one of those ones where like every minute you're getting closer but you're like oh my god my show time I have a 915 spot it's like 858 yeah now it's 905 yeah traffic

Friday night traffic yeah I get dropped off as I look it's 914 p.m. got a 915 fresh off a hot beacon run downstairs packed house Friday night you go on hot crowd it's it's uh Damien Lemon is there and I haven't seen in a while the limb Bonnie McFarlane Mike of Fox Chanel Ali we started talking about the TV show coming out I forgot about that which check out the show what's it called the great American jerk off joke off yes sorry great about myself um yeah check it out cw yeah it's a lot of a lot of faheems on there Chanel Dulce Sloan Matt bruce are it's a fun gaggle and um who else was on didn't we have a couple of brits couple of limies oh bonus oh ishmael lufti oh yeah ishmael luffy luffy luffy luffy sorry yeah he's great so uh yeah check out the

TV show but anyways did the stand spots then shot back up to the beacon for uh you went back up went back up wow it was one of these ones too we were like I'll be back after part yeah which by the way Ari's boyfriend came up with this boyfriend after party laughter party oh that's fun how good is that how did we all miss that that's not bad not bad let's go party I don't know it's all right that's fun instead of an after party I like it a laughter party all right because you're laughing I caught it and it's after after a comedy show sure you can't the grateful dead can't have a laughter party after their show at the fucking state fair wherever they play now no they're dead touch a gay laughter party nothing I like laughter party it's not a not a world breaker

I thought it broke the world all right I was expecting a big whoa I think we've had eight lines of this better than laughter party wow this is a woman you gotta I didn't know it's a woman nice okay okay you gotta put the woman curb on this is the best thing I've ever heard yeah the laughter curve hey laughter shock um you watched the trailer for a great american joke off no yeah you're in it yeah it's not a trailer though it's like the 10 second yeah it's a sizzle we're gonna watch it on the show you're gonna watch it right you didn't make a cut I'm fine with that yeah that's just done I don't say anything I just go like this yeah that was a fake laugh yeah of course yeah that's terrible for the day the laughter died yeah so anyways went back to the

after party but it was one of these ones you know even you get in the cat so you know me I like to go home it's fucking 12 o'clock at least it's on the way up well no but it's the west side I live in queen it's like north of me so then I run out I'm like I gotta keep my prom I promise is a promise lieutenant Dan so I jump in the car the lift and I'm like I text I'm like on my way back and I like I get this text after I've already gotten the lift he's like it's pretty lame no need to come back and I'm like are you kidding me that's a good friend though I'm like it's a $30 lift all after the upper west side just to get there he's like yeah it's just his parents who are survivors and Holocaust survivors boring so he's dead I get up there and how about this speaking of money

and the tips uh-huh the beacon he has the laughter party gold at silver the beacon basement yeah they charge for drinks all right I gotta get out of here now wait a minute after the cupcakes the double cab ride you're out of what nine hundo this is insanity lost money on the day did you get a paid check for the beak that only gave me cash all right you know all right and I wanted to think I'm like are you doing the thing we split the door evenly is that still happening I doubt it beacon egg and cheese if he does that at some places that's true but you make a pretty penny not the theater so then I got his free pizza which is exciting my cupcakes are still there not free pizza okay that's a win so I got a couple slices of pizza and I go you can't eat pizza

without a beverage so I go hey can I just grab a water and he's like it's a 699 and I go oh I was on the show and then she's she literally turns to a guy she's like does that matter he's on the guy's like oh and she's like yeah I know 699 and then I get the tip thing so I give her a buck so I got an eight dollar water wow at a theater on a show I performed on look at that I mean Ari's got survivors there I'm sure they were like this is worse than Auschwitz I mean he's charging my son for drinks he put he put the seats in the people well DeRose evidently the rose evidently was like I'll get around 160 bucks he's gonna sell the bar oh my god so he spent a buck 60 Ari paid him a buck 70 so good night for DeRose did he bring his uh a little rickie dig sandwiches out there no

sandwiches ah it's a shame no no but I think they all went to Joey Rose's okay well there you go they get a couple of freebies a little buybacks as we used to call them so they went there and I went home but one of those great nights because you take the cab through the park at night with the big buildings and the plaza and stuff can't beat it so uh just a special night thanks to Ari and Ari's by the way I just want to say this on the record uh-oh Ari Shafir underrated comedian really people think of him as like the podcast guy and the fun guy and the prank and also people think of him as the Kobe guy fuck this guy sure sure the ugly guy the Jew the hobo but he's got great great bits and I think we don't talk about enough well the special was a man did you watch

the special I pretended to yeah it's a great special and he's got new and he's got some killer stuff he did this long thing about gymnast and gymnastics it's very fun all right I need a sport where they they run across a line or put something he's like I can't watch a sport where they perform and then they're like let's talk to this table homosexuals he's like was that good and they're like yeah I think it was good and he's like I thought it was good I don't know wow okay I'm just giving away his material here I'm doing what he did with the other material that's right your butcher I gotta listen to the album on an audio because I don't want to see the mug yeah mug stands up yeah so all right good check out Ari Shafir did he sell it out I think so I couldn't

see it's very bright but it looked pretty filled up oh yeah congrats are well done I'm glad the parents got to see you do something before they croak and how about I get a open bar next time hey well you gotta do the laughter party not at the beacon no good yeah it looked like you know it wasn't wasn't great well the rich get richer because I opened for the you know the big sign there and his green room is full of bottles and and gifts and wine and champagne and snacks and foreign fruits from all the land exotic delicacies he didn't touch a wink I was shoving mushrooms in my pocket dried tomatoes I had a fucking pony keg under my coat yeah it's uh I think there was a couple things upstairs but not much I mean the party looked like it looked

like Billy Bats is coming home party like deflated balloons and and three guys with wigs pretending to have a nice time and geez get your shine locks um yeah it wasn't it wasn't great but uh great great night and went home and just reveled it because sometimes you can just hate the city but you do a couple club spots and a theater spot and see some buds all in the same night and just beautiful it's a great great and there's a crisp in the air it's not too cold right now so I love running around New York City Manhattan in the cold and doing shows and you go you can go to a theater full of 3000 people and just leave yeah that kind of fun they have to get a baby sitter and go out there get the coat check and the find the seats and buy the popcorn and then you're like

I did my part I'm out that's something beautiful about that for us oh it's fine by the way we left after the laughter party went on for seven hours we let there's people outside waiting to meet Ari outside the stage door and you feel bad because you're like he's ugly his balls are too big he's not that friendly sure sure but uh you know they wanted to meet him I guess all right well hey to each his anal good for them they know what they like it's nice to know everybody doesn't hate him and uh yeah good congrats the beacon that's uh it's a milestone there homie he's got a beak oh yeah haha unlike the hawk on Hudson no that thing's on a windshield yeah well keep a look out for that truck driver he's a murderer yep that well I got I had Toledo I'm in the city this weekend

next week I'm going to Dayton so I'm sure I have the similar experience did I go too hard on the club no I don't think so okay we had a nice time it was just it's just really the disrespect yeah you know but hey who the hell am I shitting my mouth I don't give a shit whatever we had a good time I love that we talked about a shooting that involved children were like did I go too hard on the doorman it's a little yeah well there could be a shooting in there nobody would nobody would bat an eye but uh we hope everybody's okay and uh I'll see you in Dayton live free peace look to the cookie prosper you got a bunch of dates I saw some prayers yeah I got the Wilbur this weekend four days Wilbur which I'm hoping is sold out by the time you're hearing this hot tamale that

all that is definitely gonna sell out so go see the hometown quay Wilbur Saturday I'll see you at the race on Monday or the game or both and then I got the big one Tempe coming up May I'm confused with Tampa and one's May 4th of the 6th one's May 11th of the 13th I think it's Tampa then Tempe got it fuck I don't know Tampa and Tempe in May next month and then uh bunch of dates comedian Joe list dot com I got San Jose Dallas improv San Jose improv the other improv uh Spokane coming up June 1st of the 3rd lots of dates hell yeah my youtube specials coming soon I got a my Dayton Montana I'm going Montana I told my agent I have an open counter fill this shit up and he goes we don't want to burn any markets and I go well let's go to weird

markets so we're going to Montana nice and then um Oxnard California that's outside LA the improv that'll be fun and then uh and Australia in June surfs up little UK tour baby and uh yeah the rest is history so what do you what do you got Chuck go you know I have a podcast called fun bearable with comic ray herrington it's great and uh I don't even know what's coming out this week but we have an episode with chavone coming up nice it's going to be very very fun that should be out all the time he is a great hang he's a great dude good egg yikes all right we'll see you next patriarch idiot