Tuesdays with Stories! - #504 Termophobe

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

Joe gets startled by a pair of yabbos in the men's locker room! Mark goes to Jazzfest and hangs out with a foot fetishist! Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories Sponsors: - Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/TUESDAYS for 10% off your 1st month of therapy - Support the show and get 20% & free shipping at https://www.manscaped.com promo code TUESDAYS

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there mark Norman and Joe list yeah it's Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be chasing hey we're back it is Tuesdays with stories the greatest podcast in the history of mankind or womankind person kind they kind they are kind by the way

I don't want to just jump into a controversial topic here kind rewind yeah well be be tarred retard that I don't know is there something that rhymes with tarred card rod hard hard hard hard oh be hard retard I'm hard be hard retard hey that's pretty good I like it t-shirt get on it be hard and return that's not a great shirt I don't think that one looking back don't make the shirts well you know I want to just do the Jimmy leg shake right off the band here we're just opening with some some hot topic great store yes yeah I preferred Spencer's oh yeah I love Spencer's Spencer's gifts yeah a lot oh

you can walk through there and have a bald and leave rubber dick ballgags t-shirts yeah I'm as I'm as think as you drunk I am I listen I do it the voice of my head telling me to do I mean it was a hoot the holler Spencer's ruled but you know me I go to equinox oh the steam big steam well yesterday I walk in and there's one just north of Union Square it's on like 16th and Broadway I think something like that sure and I think it's like the gayest one really born more than the village yeah that's true and Chelsea true so maybe not bill it this is in between the village and Chelsea I guess technically that's Chelsea 16th and

Broadway yeah see take the tits and the butthole and you're right in the dick well speaking of tits and butthole and that you know I'm not saying nothing about anything I'm not looking to cause any controversy here but sure I walk into the men's locker room and there is I guess a man presenting as a woman okay I don't know how it works but there was a person long ponytail big scrunchie hmm half shirt like a havesi light blue shirt haha middrift tits middrift with some side tattoos okay jean booty shorts must have been post workout so far so good shaved legs okay I'm gonna do it and makeup great what's the problem in

the men's locker room so I did a full jolt like a like a real zap of like I watched it along what wrong locker room yeah and then but I was like I think I know where I am I come here frequently sure sure and then I looked and I saw the dudes and the towels with the pecs and the chest hair and so I guess this must be they must have a penis so maybe it's like one of these athletes we don't want these athletes in our sports type of thing so they have to use the men's locker room or maybe they identify as man but present as a woman I think I'm using all the right terms I think so but from our terms there's a chick in

the men's locker room yeah perspective you know over I just see like it looked like it looked like my sister or my aunt or someone else I'm attracted to sure sure wow so dick out no dick well this is the thing that was fascinating and I was bummed because I think I must have just missed the changing process oh or the showering process because they were on their way out they were dressed like I said jean shorts t-shirt yeah shirt so I was like if I got here 10 minutes earlier when I have walked in and seen a pair of tits because that would be pretty cool pretty cool I mean fake or not fake tits or tips yeah you got that straight

so or gay but I got some questions yeah me too yeah so was it big shoulder Adam's apple like how far in are we talking with the transition well I didn't stare you know you try to be polite but I got two glimpses and it just looked like a petite woman okay just a small frame small frame probably yeah looks like I don't know I wasn't there wasn't like bulging my only bulging was the tits Sharon my dick Dan bulger yeah I don't know but I think there's there's identify and there's present got it got it present as a woman but identify as a man I think comedy central presents or I don't know I don't know I'm confused

because it moves and changes and I was born in 1982 so I feel a little whacked out exactly and then if you don't keep up with the times and you're a Nazi or whatnot and the terms are so scary to say you don't want to say the wrong day I'm a termophobe hey that's not bad but yeah I walked in and I for a moment like I said I really thought I was like I am a piece of shit I just committed a crime yeah yeah but now I think so I don't know I guess that's what the internet and social media is it puts that fear in you you're like am I getting in trouble because I'm in the wrong room is she gonna film me is that it for me am I

done yeah it was a real fear it was cookie but maybe maybe they have a cock yeah still and they went over into the ladies locker room and said hey I got a ponytail and a scrunchie and a pair of tits so I'm in here and then they saw the captain winky and went hey you gotta stay over there yeah but that's all I can think I agree but then there's also all these other stories you hear about oh well the guy or the lady was in the the women's locker room because they identify as a lady but have a dick out and that's okay because they identify it's all it's it's a lot of wackiness and I feel like it's all kind of a

contradicting mm-hmm because there's not a there's not hard and fast rules everywhere there's no exactly this is how we handle this and everybody's so scared of getting in trouble with with the with the words and the whatnot and the pronouns well I think the fluidity is what makes it tricky fluidity exactly well said fun word to say so that's the thing if somebody's fluid you can't have hard rules yes exactly because I think they can flow from one to the other right and that includes locker room so they got you either way you go hey you're in trouble with this they go oh what about the fluidity and then you go

what about that they go I'm fluid over here as well so it's like this ribbon that you know those those gymnasts to do the ribbon oh yeah yes like well Farrell old school they're very flowy and fun but you can't you can't grab it right it's like trying to grab fog put the ribbon on but anyways it was quite a sight no no judgment here I and by the way if oh what was that even if you know me I'm a free-flowing I love it all you can bring any lady in the little men's locker room I'm happy to have them I love your free will and attitude so yeah so I'm cool with it get get funky and I don't care so I'm for

it peace in the Middle East and yeah bring those titties into my locker room yeah I don't care man tits lady tits whatever but I do think though the gals on the other side of the hall there in the ladies room they don't dig it right well that's right that's why I think this person because I think you know I think men men's locker room we're like okay here's a woman with a penis over here no no no big no big deal but I think though the reason is the women they're a little more vulnerable assault and abuse so they're like take your penis elsewhere yes but I'm happy with the dick or a tit right in front of

my face and I don't just mean the locker room I mean right here in the studio hey bring it on Chuck show us your pussy alright but I'm other pussy anyways so that happened yesterday fascinating yeah something I'm gonna go back I can't wait yeah yeah if I can see tits without buying it paying a cover charge or begging my wife I'll take them of course and I'd like to get her on the pod well in here we'll steam it up all right maybe I'll maybe I'll dabble maybe I'll say hey you ever do podcast yeah well we even bring the equipment in there doing like an 11 minute one before the shit shorts out I

like that and by the way great band them not great band but you know it's fan Morrison he started over there wait he's in that yeah that was his band G.L.O.R. that was them I didn't know them yeah how about they they them interesting all right well I'm getting text from Salicus that always makes me nervous probably wants to shoot your your new special with trans person my load yeah all right let's get going came out with a banger I'm all foggy I know it's not a typical opening usually we get silly and wacky these days we're walking on barbed wire over here with this story oh yeah you came out the gate with a big

tit steam you see that movie barbed wire with Pamela Anderson I jerked off to it and then I turned it off I never saw was her name barbed wire yes that's pretty good I think that was the whole concede they like barbed wire print it and they didn't then they wrote a movie around that name that's not bad I never got into Pam Anderson I know this was sounds good Yasmine Bleece is that somebody sure I think she was hotter I the giant tits blonde hair big face I just didn't do it for me you know when she was the hottest was she got discovered at a football game in Canada and a bat blue she was a cute girl next door kind of a skanky

fun lady and that was the hottest and then she got all whacked out with the tits and the blonde and the fake tan and the whole thing yeah home alone at home alone home improvement yeah that was there yeah tool time but I always liked a smaller tip I liked more like a bit like a man muscles maybe a dick yeah something like that I hear yeah I knew a guy he was he didn't he knew he was gay when he watched the the female gymnast because he was like man they're so ripped all right he's like that maybe I'm in the dudes interesting that's what flipped him alright so anyways where you been what's going on well baby I just got back

from Louisiana wow paradise proud to call it home the Crescent City the big easy no la so Louisiana you know me I got crazy guilt issues so I said yeah we can't just go to jazz fest and do drugs and eat crawfish bread and drink a beat of beer I got to do a show first make a couple bucks and get my work in sure that's fair by the way okay yeah I appreciate it well particularly when you're you sell tickets the way you do you go it's like an ATM machine you go down you do a show and then you take that cash and you spend it on some fun ask the mouth it almost is silly not to do that thank you appreciate it so I go

alright we're going to jazz fest Friday and Saturday we got the whole day free the whole night free why don't we go down Thursday and pop over old Laffy taffy Laffy at Louisiana JP yeah JP Leonard has the best show in Louisiana if you ask me it's at the Laffy yet club 337 in the double tree hotel yes they give you that cookie and it's a nice gig great gig you sleep above you know you sleep in the hotel the shows in the ballroom or the conference room whatever you want to call it and it just fits it's like a perfect semi-circle right in there and it's great for comedy yeah it's a nice spot I just did it loved it

and this guy's got he's a comic so he's got good taste he has Kyle Kanane he has Eddie Pepitone he has Sean Patton he has he had Nate Pregazzi in like the 40s he had Tom Segura at 81 I mean he had everybody yeah I think his first show was Segura what was hard to believe because now Segura does baseball stadiums exactly holy shit that's starting off big but either way so I go hey set it up there JP goes I'm on it we sold it two shows and it just fun you get to hang out with him and it's so low-key you know we're sitting in a like the breakfast nook of a hotel they do free breakfast we're just sitting in

there that's the green room yes and he's got your tequila your whiskey your beers and mushrooms and whatnot and it's just a great hang and then I book a local guy Isaac Kozell from New Orleans so he drives up he hosts features or whatever he features and then he's gonna drive me back on Friday morning it's all locked in now we got some sold out shows here I'm from Louisiana let's get kooky first show seven o'clock Thursday night pretty good nice crowd filled up here we go then the second show rolls around and you just see him in the lobby yeah you know when you can see it a mile away they're stumbling and

then you you try to run to the bathroom and they're like there he is now I'm hiding in the stall they're all going hey you bitch what are you shitting in there you pissing time they're looking under you know and I'm like oh this is gonna be a long night well that's the other things about that gig is there's no privacy you're really out there no barrier you're out there Jerry and I love it every minute of it no you're out there like a she them and a steam room men's room yeah it's a little it's tough sledding there cuz even the road like you run like the Beatles and it's not like I'm some famous asshole but I've

known enough that some guy would like well I'll be damn look at you you over there wearing your shirt that was my uncle exactly and and also the first show it's funny to see how people change with with booze because the first show they're like oh there he is there's the guy we're coming to see and the girls like oh is he what he looks gay I'm like no he's not gay you know and then then you run up to the room and you do whatever you got to do and then the second show it's like look at this homo you bitch I fucked your sister you're like I don't even have a sister so it's a whole other world and right out of the

gate you got the two people talking up front and I had to do like the could you just cool they go oh oh we got a cool it and then so one guy goes fuck this I'm getting a beer so he gets up falls right on his face nice so that was fun I got the riff on that for a minute and then you're like let's try to get it together you feel like a teacher in a in a retarded special needs class get hard retard yes t-shirt so finally just getting heckled getting heckled and then I do the Q&A and I might as well have opened an auction on Grindr for Jared Leto yeah the deep the deep South no place to open up the door to

communication no offense to my mother was down there but I told you I did Huntsville and then just out of curiosity I was like is this more Auburn or Alabama country and the play had just turned into a civil war I had to quit comedy for three years yeah exactly don't don't get started on free and the slaves they started screaming they played a game of Red Rover it's why I was like Braveheart yeah come on over Louisiana I had both times I did Lafayette I had once was the the New Orleans Saints incident yeah that was big where I just said a force cup they made a sequel and he played for the Saints and this

guy was like fuck your mother you don't talk about those saints and I was like I'm just saying it's a book that was my aunt it was it was insane I was scared going back yeah I think maybe I could do something I think you can all right I do declare I do southern I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome I took some comfort there hey that's good boy you could you could do a rape case in a really warm courtroom by the way that was Paul Simon I just did I did Paul Simon as a southern bell what's a bell can you be a little bell lady ring that bell about a bell boy mm-hmm or a bell hop good boy or a Bellman Bellman

gotta add the man to make it sure it's not a locker room lady right so if it's bell on its own that's a lady the bell of the ball there you go so what is the bell is that an award the bell of the ball do you win best bell I bet that's got some origins because I think if you had a ball or two balls you'd have a bunch of bells and be in a steam room the bell of the ball is the best bell I think it's the hot lady it's the it's miss America oh she's the bell she's the bell she won it's the prettiest girl at the ball does that we need an origin though right saying what we're saying I know but I'm just saying like that's

what it means like in general but I want there is an origin I bet they gave you a bell no origin gotta be an origin as a origin okay well yeah the bell the ball and then there's you're you're thinking of like oh there's also this debutant oh yeah and then what is that old guy that southern Gentile oh Gentile I don't know Gentile Gentile is a seersucker suit you're a little dainty almost you got it like a foghorn not a far what's this KFC guy many Colonel Sanders plays with it yes a tweed tweed little Bolo tie and a weird gay haircut and you're like we got your mid-jewel up and you're going my dude declare that black boys looking

pretty mighty healthy like John Candy and JFK yeah government's gonna do cock-a-doodle-doo all over your suit or whatever the Kingfish Huey Long Huey Long who's that how he long yeah he was a Boston governor of Louisiana oh yeah that sounds familiar assassinated or attempted how he longs from Charleston and he played no real origin just means that it was first used in 1822 in a magazine but it just means the most beautiful person oh well she or she used to build a ball but anyway so they're drunk maniacs they're drunk maniacs but then here's the worst part now I don't want to say too much because I want

to hurt anybody's feelings but I sell the merch after so now when you're dealing with the you're like a lion tamer you got the the whip the chair he's trying to hold them back but now you're gonna go sell merch and they're just up in your grill yes sometimes if the show's too wild I'll just bail on merch and fly home with 350 t-shirts do the same thing and it's a nightmare you lose money and you got to ship it but so now I'm getting this thing where I got a guy next to the merch table and he's cracking wise he's just lean on the table with a cocktail cracking wise on every sale I make so I gotta be like can I get one

large queef he's like one large queef what do you mind my Nana and I'm like yeah yeah yeah all right take it easy Bobby okay so here let me get the credit card he's like credit card you gonna chop up some coke all right we're not chopping up coke and it just didn't stop and then later I had the lady was with me and like two openers are like man would you go to high school that guy I'm like I've never met that guy in my life he smelled like oysters you need security you need the big southern ball to be like all right moving on there son I need a bell tower or something yes southern bell save the clock tower

yes or the cock tower but then I got a lady taking photos and she's like all right get in get in and then she's cracking wise every photo and I'm like okay and then they go well what is she a Jason's wife or something I go I don't know who that is so these people just kind of just mill yeah there's a lot of mill rumor mill yes it's no good saw mill Parkway it's a lot and you just so vulnerable and usually most people the vast majority they come in they say hello they say Tuesday they give you a high five they give you the money they keep moving some of them give you extra cash oh yeah one guy just handed me 50

bucks he didn't want a shirt uh-huh he's like this 50 enjoy it I said boy thanks and I got a prostitute sure 1971 that is nice but yeah some of the they camp out then there's the people that purposefully lingered to be last yes they know they have the wind oh I hate that guy and they're like hiding behind a fence and all of a sudden they're like whoa hey one more yeah and then they just want to linger around and then you always need to see like I got some hot pie in the oven yeah that's cooling on a windowsill also I think what it is is they're very nice down south it's a southern hospital everybody's

gentle and nice and friendly so they get hammered and then it all comes out it's like the the Japanese with porn they're very they're very honorable hello oh and it's like a wax paper you take your shoes off and the samurai and all that shit and then the porn is just like put a lampshade on my ass fuck me with a parking cone and you know squirt fudge in my face Japanese porn oh it's wild I could direct it there's one where it's a lady giving the news she's at a desk with a pants suit on shuffling papers going today and as a guy standing on the on the desk jerking off and he jizzes on her and she keeps reading it

oh I don't like this one bit I made it my bookmarked it by the way any bookmark Norman any any reference you make to porn Chuck's always just nodding I think Chuck's seen a hundred percent of the porn he's just like this yeah yeah up German snuff film seen it sure yeah dead body seen it coming on a lady's head while she's reading that is that is a very specific well the beauty of Pacific is she keeps reading she doesn't flinch she doesn't go like keeps going and that's what's kind of hot about it she's just taking it that's interesting because I don't want to go down a rabbit hole but Carl Maldon you know that

actor yeah the big nose and on the waterfront streets of San Francisco all that stuff he said the hardest piece of acting he ever did ever was in the movie on the waterfront he's the priest and he's talking to the longshoreman and someone throws I think a beer can at him and he's like the hardest thing I've ever done an act in my 40 year career or 50 years whatever was to not pretend I didn't know a beer can was about to hit me so he's got to sit there giving this speech knowing at any moment a beer can gonna whip off his head yeah because I've tried I've done acting stuff some of

it 11% rotten tomatoes and as the if you're gonna get hit or something's coming it's hard not to be reacting already yeah like if I'm gonna slap you in a scene it's easy to flinch as it's coming wow that is tough so Carl Maldon with a beer can this woman is she's better than Carl Maldon yeah exactly and you gotta wonder how many takes they did Kurt loader was she like okay in the news today you know to Samurai's cut off a guy's head and somebody probably got in her eye and she has to just squint that one and I'm sure it's burning like hell while she's reading the weather coming her samurai who do you like

better Samurai okay we're really having a good time this is fun fun stuff words are fun yes Samurai yeah yeah captain hi for an eye okay I'm all of me I've all chambers iPhone speaking of which alright so we do the show we have our good time we sell some merch then you got that weird thing where Jason's like here's all the merch you have left giant pile of queef shirts and he goes you want me to ship it or you want to just take it I was like what are you gonna do and I was thinking ship it ship it but he's like I might as well just take it and I felt so bad he did so much work and helped us out so much I was

like all right and I just went upstairs and threw it in the garbage yeah this is what's our with the merch I said that this is my pitch by the way I'm so bad at pitching I'm like could you guys buy shirts cuz every week I leave a club being like okay take care guys thanks for having me it's a carry on merch is tricky too cuz you're like Matt Wayne my my my dear friend your friend opener he opens and then he's like I'll help you with the merch and then people I feel terrible because they just lose sight that this is a human being and a comedian yes so then they start walking they see the previous person they start

walking up they hand their phone and they just don't take a photo so now he's just the photo guy always happens that way and so then by the end of the weekend I'm like here's $9,000 Matt I took a loss because I feel terrible that he's taking photos right right I know I'm tipping everybody out I tip the photo lady and then Jason's like you know her I'm like I don't know her he's like I don't know her either so oh geez she's been a lady she was just a lady who just volunteered I think it's fun you feel like you're part of it you know hey I'm helping yeah but yeah this might sound crazy could you like put it in the

basement and try to just see if it's you know as opposed to throwing it away just like stash it and next time you go see if it's still there I've done that before that's what I would do it comedy connection you know what I mean like it's like you have this crazy basement it's just like a comedy club they have a huge basement not every club is a huge basement but I've done that before I'm like let me just slide this giant box into this closet and I'm gonna call two weeks later like did you leave a box of shit in the closet I'm like ah shit they're like can you send us money we'll ship it to you I'm like damn it

because I don't want it my house either right you know you have a finite amount of a square footage in a New York apartment and one box will ruin your whole fun gay it's like that great gag in inside Lou and Davis when you know what's his toes Oscar Isaac Lou and Davis he goes to hide his records under their table and it there's like friction he can't figure out what's there and he pulls it out and it's a different guy's box of wreck which is a great bit great bit yeah that's because I had that with rooftop I did the CD and they send you like a gross ton of it yeah and it's just speaking a gross ton my wife's been

gaining weight hello folks but yeah there's just boxes of CDs still in my house yeah yeah that's how they get you now it's been so long that the technology isn't even relevant yes so that's how long it's so many CDs you got that you outlasted the technology yeah as Johnny can used to say I'm selling CDs and at this point I should be selling CD players with it ah great story funny guy hope he comes back yeah we miss him good egg all the writer strike oh well there's been an influx of writers at the cellar you're like Matt Goldich hey where you been oh interesting yeah hopefully the maybe I hope the strike

last a while so John again will come back but I hope it ends so those well I like my goal I like goals too but I know you made it's funny that like we're the gutter like they're like oh this giant money-making conglomerate platform is gone let me just go back to this shitbox with you retards by the way I think I'm in the WGA because the movie I should be out there okay I was at home watching TV and then pulling my prick and then all of a sudden I was like hey wait a second I joined that union so you strike it I got a strike baby hey well the iron's hot I'm not gonna write another movie until that strike is over three

strikes you're out yeah there you go well we could write a the steam room chronicles or whatever that's not bad okay SRC yeah all right well put a one scene in there where they just on a news lady just for for Chuck I like it okay well I can get right in the jazz fest or we can you want to you want to take take the helm a little bit well let me tell you this real quick please so this happened last night so I'm over at grove 34 grove 34 maybe the best room in town it's about 150 yards from my house and Rob and Derek these guys first class they're real men over there oh yeah good eggs Rob's in the army he's a pilot

wow yeah yeah he just got back and he's like still serving and that guy when I heard the story about the subway I was like oh I better check in on Rigo well yeah that's subway story my mom asked me about that it's making his way around yeah it's around baby yeah I don't know if you heard but a marine choked out a I guess a hobo yeah and there's all kids a racial thing and yada yada oh they heard baby they heard me fucking yelling thank Christ out of my window I'm gonna kill everybody on the train or something like that yeah yeah yeah so anyways why don't we already did the locker room stuff we're gonna get shut down if we get into

business but but yeah you know what are you gonna do all right be coax by the way everyone gives me shit about coax and then you're like what do you think about this ah I'm telling you they're everywhere there you go happening but any juice bill so I did grow growth 34 last night and this was the hottest one I've ever done I do it every 11 days or something packed out and I had a great group Isabelle Hagan Greg Stone Steve Rogers and Sarah Talibash fun hang it's alright just bring everybody everybody come over we had Lex shooting it'll be on YouTube maybe it's already on YouTube we had some good laughs good time

great hang and the show is hot and then I do about 40 minutes of new stuff you know is this funny is this anything well it's a lot of garbage and then I go hey wish I should try to get some some clips let me talk to the people here if I can get a couple clips Jason those clips that's what people do clip clop clip clop you gotta get the clip so I talked to this guy he's from Ireland I got nothing I'm just naming cities in Ireland I go anybody else from a different country and there's two guys over here they go oh we're from Argentina and I go well I'm I dated a woman she left me for Argentina fuck Argentina you

won the World Cup congrats Argentina Turner yada yada I talked to them for about 11 minutes getting some laughs getting some hoots some hollers it's a good time the video will come out and then I go yeah what do you guys do they go we go to the cellar they went to 10 shows the kind of the whole trip is just to watch comedy 10 shows in a row at the cellar they came here for a week just to go to the cellar and then it came to grow 34 oh my god what a nerd so I'm talking to them getting some laughs hooty hooty hotty-hotty I go what do you guys do they're comedians oh this is very unamerican so now I feel like an

asshole I just did a half hour of crowd work on two comics then I told this story never tell the story Mike is Sherman and I probably told this in the pockets at some point Mike is Sherman our good buddy past guest the shirm he tried to get he got tickets to go see Robin Williams Robin Williams was doing one night only at the comedy connection years ago oh yeah and so Sherman he's like he loves him he's an improv guy he goes I want to go come with me and I was like I work the club I'm a comedian right I want to go to a comedy club and I'll stand in the back he's like put your ego away let's sit down well we'll go watch

just be a fan okay okay fanny and I was never a big fan of Williams's comedy I love him as an actor seems like the best guy ever and not a huge fan of the stand-up same so I'm with you I go all right you're right who am I I can't sit in the crowd you're a patron so I go sit in the crowd our seats were in row one seats a and b we're literally right here like feet on the stage like this and the whole show feel his arm hair I know every waiter and waitress and they're all taking the ticket going what the hell are you doing here I'm a regular ah the ranks so right away Robin Williams comes up and I don't want to out

Robin Williams as a he's gay he goes hey look at this guy look at these two fucking homos right here why don't you kiss your fucking face fuck and the whole show he kept calling back to it oh man he's like two queers over here look at the homos everyone laugh at the homos by the way this is like 2007 that was hilarious yeah that was big big comedy then back then so still is in some circles not funny to say gay anymore to his guys hey so anyways he's going to get so now I feel like that to these guys work but they said they all they love it that we it's great I can't do voices yeah so for Southern so then

after the show I finished the show I say thanks a lot best show I've ever done there I could have shot a special day the crowd was so hot well at least they saw a hot show hot show so then I go back to the green room and we're hanging out and I tell Derek the co-owner I say hey go grab the Argentinian guys and let them come back here there you go let them meet a real life because you want to you want to get to know the comedians this is worth the flight they saw 11 shows of the seller but this is the money spot well now they're gonna meet the old big man cream of the crop baby oh yeah hello I'm

gonna bless them with my presence oh god so they come back and I say hey this is Sarah and Greg Stone and Steve Rogers ask me anything you want I'll help you out if I can you know sure and then I go are you guys so you guys what do you do you make a living down there and they go yes yes we make a living okay that's nice you make a living they go yeah we do three four shows a week I got my audience yada yada and I go great great chat great talk very nice to meet them you feel like you're bridging the clans the country yes they leave and I say why what a hero I am teaching these young comics a thing or two about comedy then

I get a message it was great to meet you I say great to meet you I click on profile oh god 3.4 million followers she's like a megastar I'm an asshole open mic and it doing crowd work I'm like look at you too what are you wearing you fucking queer oh this guy's massive he flew in at a private jet he's spending 10 day not a private jet okay I believed you but I was thinking this he's staying in the village for 10 days these guys are massive huge they're huge Jerry I'm an idiot I thought they were open my queefs wow top of the top of the food chain massive one had 700,000 followers the other ones got 9 million they're

like the king it's hilarious you're like I let him come in here and kiss the ring and they're probably sitting out there going oh they're fighting us in to kiss our ring they thought you were gonna blow them possibly but hey it was a great time and of course I'm exaggerating a little but yeah these guys are huge stars down in Argentina can we get a name and we don't plug on these guys need more followers clearly what do we call these Jews oh my god I got so many texts I shouldn't look at my phone look at the phone the texts are evil might be Argentina maybe they booked you a gig over there one's name is

Nicholas de Tracy Nicholas de Tracy he's got 773,000 followers handsome guy nothing to sneeze at over there Tracy yeah that's something and then the other one's name both very nice and sweet and I can't find him I can't see Peter oh here he is Lucas Lorenta Lorenta Lorenta to do the case area Lucas Lorenta he's got a Netflix entradas para todos mis shows abajo he's a handsome guy too no offense to these foreign comics but there's about 11 comics in the rest of the world and nine are in Australia four in Italy and three are in and 30 are in England oh wow that is a hunk sexy man but in Argentina I'm sure

there's three and I think he's one of them wow these guys are these guys are huge and so I could tell they're hilarious you can tell they're like good comic students of comedy they're watching all the shows and they know a few guys we know and okay they couldn't have been cooler and obviously I'm joking a little but it was really nice to hang and chat with them but you are embarrassed to do and find out someone's not just a comic but a massive comment thank God I wasn't making fun of them yeah I was just going oh yeah Argentina soccer or whatever right right but wow these guys cuz it's so different from America we

go to Argentina the last thing we're doing is going to a comedy show right you know we're gonna go hey let's go ride a ball or eat out a horse or whatever they do over there but they come here and see 11 shows or whatever the fuck that's bananas crazy and they were so kind they're like we were honored to meet you it was an honor to see you we came out to Queens just to see you we heard you were here so it was quite a treat and a delight a mutual appreciation there you go it was very fun well I was thinking they had they were like they make a living so I thought they would have 40 50,000

followers something like that but these guys are huge so they know you well they're aware of you and came out to Queens for your fat ass well for all I know they're doing all of our acts down there they got pens and papers at the seller going to total fritos right right how you say Jew they're gonna do my whole act I'm kidding I don't think they're really steely but great guys nice to see you boys and if you're Spanish speaking go check out these guys yeah welcome to America baby the comedy Mecca New York City yeah so they probably saw you a bunch too I'm sure I hope I hope say hello next time I'll

invite them in the green room and have them blow me like you did but yeah that was fun and yeah I'm gonna hear more about jazz fest oh no that's great and that I'm at Grove 34 next week I can't wait I love that that room it's a great room and it's gonna hit me up I'm right there I'll let you have I'm doing it with Sean Murph all right well sit that way the Murph dog he's no Steve Rogers hang out hi there folks Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by better help you got that right we love butter butter butter help margin sucks I blew it better help I get nervous that's why I go to therapy I recommend therapy to

everybody and the best way to get therapy these days is better help all our lives we've been told to give give give to give our time our energy our resources there comes a point when we need to take care of ourselves self-care is hugely important especially in this day and age everyone I run into is a gosh darn kook losing it stress anxiety all that stuff STDs better helps online therapy can give you the tools to find more balance in your life so you can keep giving to others without leaving yourself behind I love therapy I can't wait to go back to my therapist he keeps me on an even keel I mean it's just the best I

went as a child I went in my 20s I'm back now and I'm staying for life because it just helps you you know you get a refresh it's like cleaning out the soul game changer got to do it better help is flexible and entirely online so you can easily fit therapy into your schedule have your appointments whenever you feel the most comfortable when whether that's in your office your couch or even your bed to get started just fill out a quick survey get matched with your licensed therapists and switch therapists at any time for free find more balance with better help visit better help dot com slash Tuesdays to get

10% off your first month that's better help HELP dot com slash Tuesdays better help dot com slash Tuesdays what else mark what else I'll tell you what else man scaped folks father's day is coming up when you probably have no idea what to get your old pop man scape has got you covered man scape performance package 4.0 is everything dad needs to get you grooming the package includes the lawn mower 4.0 trimmer weed wacker 2.0 ear and nose trimmer crop preserver crop reviver and performance boxer briefs the whole package comes in a travel bag so slap a bow on it and call it a gay I love man scaped I keep one in the bag I

got the hair trim or the nose trimmer at the house I got the face trimmer in my suitcase I'm all trimmer I'm all over it I love it my balls are clean they're smooth my shaft I cut the three inches off of hair so now I'm three and a half inches hard and it's a it's a big help feels good you look good you smell good if you're dead as already got his grooming routine down we'll hook him up with man scape boxers 2.0 they're super comfortable breathable and supportive get 20% off and free shipping with code Tuesdays at manscaped.com that's 20% off free shipping and free shipping at manscape.com and use code Tuesdays make

this father's day one he won't forget with manscape you came out of those balls so now clean them up so yeah back to JF Harris Jazz Fest so we we we wake up we do though the classic you know get get a little blotto mm-hmm and then we go all right we're meeting down here at nine we're gonna get a jump on right we're gonna get to New Orleans you beat the traffic all right the Jera beep beep beep housekeeping it's 1148 oh yeah you fucked the wife you grab your bag you go downstairs and he's texting me like I'll be down in 11 minutes I'm gay and then wait who are you meeting Leonard Isaac oh Isaac he's the feature so he's gonna

drive us down oh that's right I see so we pop in the car we hightail down to what not a bad drive two hours 11 men something like that okay get right down to the big Apple big easy sorry and we check into the Airbnb now my parents are furious so like you're staying at Airbnb not gonna stay at our house but they live they live in basically Whitman right and I want to go to bean town I got a similar thing I'm going a couple weeks and I'm like I got the hotel I'm gonna come by for 10 minutes and you know jerk off my old bedroom that's it got a couple shekels to rub together these days so why not stay walking distance

from the fest I'm going to well you want to be in the city too the city is nice the city is nice I mean it's got its problems but it's nice yeah it's got a lot of problems yeah yeah yeah but we got some perks but yeah the crime is out of control but uh yeah so we get there Airbnb always fun to get to an Airbnb cuz you're in someone else's home and I've shit on being bees in the past I think Joe just hocked up a jizz ball I was like and Ferris Bueller yeah you alright yeah yeah okay a lot of tea a donut sure by the way not eating this half a donut is killing me it's just staring at me I got half a cookie there

it's ripping a hole my ass yeah maybe we should both eat our snacks on TV that's good pot try the bread eat the bread last week Chuck brought us cookies we loved them we devoured them this week he comes back with fucking bread like the chutes of the year yeah what are you Jesus give us bread bread from the same bakery I want to get you a new thing you know me I love new things I like the cookie it was a gag look to the cookie alright so fuck it we get to jazz fest we pop old mushroom action little psychedelic now I go wait a minute oh I fucked up we get in New Orleans and I go you know what these Airbnb's do they

go hey 2 p.m. check in they keep pushing the check in back and the check out earlier right you know they go hey you got to be out of there by 7 a.m. but you can't check in till 7 p.m. and you're like what but that's how they get you so to tube so all that that high-tailed out of New Orleans or out of Lafayette was all for not because now we're here too early to check in I hate that tell you hate that yes in a hotel you can give them your bags right and be you can't really do that exactly good point so we go to a parkway tavern which some say is the best po boy in the city so I'm now I'm driving the bus because I got the

lady here and you're in you're in your hometown you want to be a host yes you know anytime somebody goes where should we go you're like oh my god I gotta nail this right you know even though you don't really care you like I gotta think of a restaurant so we go to Parkway tavern it's within walking distance we get a fucking killer po boy and a big sack of jambalaya we got the the surf and turf which is half roast beef with gravy and half fried shrimp boy that wedding was fun a lot yearn for the wedding hell of a wedding I'll get remarried and the batch the party yes both fun so we get the po boy we wolf

that down we go back we finally have time now we get in the Airbnb we take the shrooms and we go right to jazz fest now we got this is where things get hairy mm-hmm so I want to give a shout out somebody gave me free tickets I'll blow them I'll eat your ass but I can't say who it is because he he got him okay someone gave him to him so he gave it to me the whole thing regift thank you the label maker so we head on down to jazz fest and it's just a buzz right when you got to the uber it's like the whole city's alive like all the people are milling around going into the entrance

every restaurant is full every bar is full people are hanging on the balcony there's people playing rocking out on their porch you know cuz it's just music time I love a festival there's nothing like a festival comedy music that's it but still I love a festival well it's crawfish fest there's a strawberry fest we're all about fest in New Orleans yeah but here's the thing this is one of the only fests it's in a neighborhood right it's in the neighborhood I grew up in it's in like mid-city Tremay El Esplanade Ridge I grew up on Esplanade Avenue we're on Esplanade I got it my friend Stevie grew up there this guy was

here I got Rob there the whole thing and it's just the whole city comes up and you're like wow everybody like is banging like the city is pumping people are selling shit throwing beads off the balcony and you start walking in you get closer in you start bottlenecking into that entrance and you hear the music in the distance and you see people coming out there's water here cold water ice cold beer ice cold and it's plus we're on shrooms so when you're on shrooms everything is a thing so you know the water guy is like water you like whoa water guy and he's all crazy looking there's a kid tap dancing on the

side you're like we haven't even gotten in yet and my senses are are quiffing percolating thank you Percocet so love Percocet we get into the place and now we're banged up on shrooms it's wide-eyed and bushy tailed and the guy goes tickets and I go ah I wasn't ready oh god so now I'm looking in I have to download an app and I'm panicking and who knows if these will work by the way it's all apps it's all apps I hate the apps I can't stand it yeah so I go up and I go you're good going in and you're like oh my god I'm in and I haven't been here since I was a kid it's all bringing me back and I'm on drugs so we

go right to the daiquiri we get to margarita daiquiris and then it's blazing hot suns out now Ludacris is playing in one tent and John Baptiste is in another one okay you know him not really he's the he was the band leader on Colbert sexy black guy plays like eight instruments okay so she's like well I want to see Ludacris he's the famous guy and I go yeah yeah Ludacris all right this other guy though is is a sleeper he's a killer and he's from here okay and she's like well I've never heard of him and I'm like I get it so we go see Ludacris I don't like to shit on the artist but stinkfest who's who's Ludacris

again what's his hit move bitch get out the way get out the way I got hoes in different area it's like nursery rhymes for ghetto people different area codes is funny at least they're fun they're fun it's a good rule and he's in Fast and Furious good oh he's in Fast and Furious this legitimizes him as an artist well I was gonna say I think that's why he's still part of like pop culture yeah yeah a long time well his songs are like he would plead like I got hoes and I go I don't hold crowds going apeshit but he phoned it in he phoned it in hard and when you're when someone phones in in your town you get pissed yeah I took it

personally yeah yes so he's like all right how we how we doing out here in the 514 504 you know first gets the area code wrong which is the whole song is the area code yeah so he got the area code wrong goes we're a little tired we just flew in you know we open it for up for Janet Jackson everybody's like okay and then he's like that we're gonna fly out right after this to go to Nashville we got a big gig in Nashville and it's like so you're just admitting this is a pit stop it's a paycheck you're gonna knock out this New Orleans bullshit and then go to a real town I don't I took the whole thing personally and I'm on

shrooms I was furious yeah that's ludicrous thank you move bitch so I tell the lady hey bitch get out the way we're going to John Baptiste okay so she's like all right we'll go see this guy had never heard of him now this is what you want to see this couldn't have been a more of a 180 he's in his high school uniform because he went to high school in New Orleans he's got his high school marching band got a full gospel choir and he's got seven dancing hot ladies I love dancing hot lady and a couple of gay guys in full body paint dancing crazy and he comes out and just goes nuts he starts playing the piano

that kills then he gets on the the trombone that kills then he has this weird piano flute thing oh you know those things and it was transcendent I mean send it the whole place is rocking it's breathing it's doing this shit I don't know one song I've never heard any of his music we're both in tears we're both hooting holler I'm jumping up doing this thing the whole crowd's jumping and rocking and rolling it was incredible it was a it was a it was moving take that ludicrous you could have moved no move no move you should have moved out yeah good luck moving up yeah we're moving out you got that right to the east side

back back back you're a hack-hack-hack yeah like that suck on that Luda that teased maybe I'll maybe I'll give him a tease to step back teased I mean he's a bit of an activist and a bit of a little preachy and all that but they all got to do that but she was like this is the coal bear guy I'm like well he quit cuz he wanted to spread his wings he's be like hanging out with Oprah and doing shows on you know Taj Mahal well awesome by the way if you're the band leader late night you're unbelievable I told you I was in Norway I went and suck Kevin Eubanks I just know him as the guy that chuckles at Leno's shit right right like the best guitar player in the world he's unbelievable and then of

course Max Weinberg is my favorite drummer all-time favorite Jew over over Larry David this guy all right easy well I'm kidding but don't forget the roots over here I'm sure they've done something good pretty they're pretty good these roots they have a hit a couple hits I think one of his wife I don't know but use them in government mule like they feel like they came out around the same time boy those aren't those those are white guys yeah well not the look I don't look first of all I haven't looked at like an album since high school no now it's all streaming right mule isn't it them I don't know about the mule who's

what is the roots thing I don't know anything about politics mule thing I don't know what a sound of mule makes but yeah I don't like a mule I don't need a mule and my ex was a drug mule but the roots are good and bad tease killed I can't describe the feeling I took some video I was that guy because it was so moving but I kept it under like 15 seconds yeah you gotta get it and get it out get in get out like sex and it was just incredible and then at the end the whole place is sweating the whole band is like rocking out and they're all like huh you know they're they're breathing great the crowds going nuts and then

he goes ah he starts playing when the Saints go marching in and he starts walking into the crowd and the whole band is with them so he's got this snake trail of band and dancers and gospel people and then they start walking to the crowd everybody moves out of the way and they're playing let's go the Saints go marching in and they walk right out of the fucking fest and do a full-on what do you call that the pied piper classic move I love it I love the parting I love a snake I did one in the toilet earlier oh yeah that's beautiful good game on the

phone snake now this is daytime this is early in the fast this is well I'd say it's about five o'clock six o'clock but he was definitely a closer and man oh man it was like it was inspiring wow as an artist you're like I could be that guy I could be this guy right and it was very illuminating like hey hey wife you wanted to go see the famous guy I get it everybody wants to see the famous guy but that doesn't mean he's the best no this guy is an artist this guy killed it and this guy brought it and he planned it out you could tell he's like I'm gonna wear the high school uniform I get the band I get a gospel choir and

he had like a four-year-old up there dancing one point it was his nephew and he picked him up and moved him out of the way they'll place wet nuts I mean the whole thing was so well orchestrated and so perfectly produced and and what's the word executed executed see batiste nailed it go see batiste I gotta shove some batiste in my ass you know what a show is so good that you have to Google him you're like let me learn more about this guy that's what was one of those well I always say this with live music is a live I've ever seen in my life in the middle of the three songs in I'm like I'm getting all their albums tonight this

is unbelievable it's the same as comedy you got to go and feel part of it to really feel it exact that's what's so great when you go when you do a comedy set on the road and they go I brought two friends and then the friends now like you and now you're spreading like herpes you gotta spread it baby spread the legs spread the wings spread that butter so yeah then after we were just so moved that we went home and we we met up with some old high school friends and my buddy Ron Richard bubs bro bubs no let's check out his burgers he he brought burgers to the wedding remember the end of the wedding there was a bunch of big

pan of burgers that was him I don't remember that well if you think of you were hammered people ate those they scooped him up and it like kept people going but the burgers he scooped the burger and so met up with Ron now we had an awkward moment in the bar so meet up with Ron we're pretty half in the bag we're banged up and Ron's got a foot fetish oh I wouldn't say a fetish but he's a foot guy okay you know he's not he's not on only fans losing his bank account to the to the hoof but he'll gander at a little little toe likes a toe likes a foot another all the toe another all the foot another all the

knuckle sure yeah okay so we start chatting I'm like what is it with the foot I love I'm jealous because I don't care what the foot the foot is nothing to me I wish I had a foot fetish because there's feet everywhere but you could recognize the difference between a good foot and a bad foot I suppose I can swivel but I mean look there's some slave feet out there that have been to a meat grinder and then there's a nice lady foot dolled up foot the toes are in the right order you got a painted situation because he's some have knuckles some the toe takes a right turn true there's like angles and sharp and hairs

and bones there's the dumb and dumber feet there yeah yeah the Sands are a Sander saw or whatever the hell yeah Hilary Sanders and so we see two cute little dames at the bar and they're both wearing flip flops and I go okay teach me and he's like alright he pulls on a chalkboard and a marker and a pointer and he's doing a full goodwill hunting thing over here and I'm like I don't get it he's like that's a good foot that's not great I would suck on that till all day and this woman walks over and goes bad foot huh oh she heard she heard everything ever heard a buffalo and we go well I don't really but I went ignorant

I was like I don't know anything about feet he's the foot guy over here he's like no it's a good foot I need your ass that's great foot I'm sorry whatever it was it was a fun moment but the other girl was very appreciative that you had the nice foot right yeah so the one girl she's kind of started caving she was like I walked through Ireland I hike a lot oh wow so she was had a caveat for everything wow good foot bad foot yes exactly yeah that she was on the other foot yeah then a couple other crazy things happen but I don't want to hog it one point we got over and the guy was a firefighter and I go hey a firefighter

huh well what's going on with Ubers I got to do it for side money but I've seen some crazy shit in this town that the guy before us had a bullet wound and he bled in the car oh like a current bullet wound he had a current bullet wound got an uber and he did not go to the hospital oh wow so the driver's like so you know he did it you know holy shit so yeah it was a wild wild town yeah it sure is I like it during the day yeah certain neighborhoods and then I agreed you get it's like Chris Rock show you go this gate to this gate you get this gate to this game where you know you hop into the circle but last day we

saw dead and co the luminaires and John Hyatt well fun Hyatt rips well Hyatt's great I love Hyatt Lohiam yeah I'm more of a Sheridan guy but Hyatt killed it and the luminaires were good too but again it was soft and gay right mellowey and then you go to Hyatt he's he's jamming it I want to jam yeah you got a jam yeah well soft music is tough in a live setting you have to be in a theater where you're kind of sitting in a seat or like grass and everyone's just laying around you're kind of chatting whatever I saw the luminaires at the Asbury Park Fest it was fine you know hey ho whatever is that yes hey ho yeah I say

to my wife yeah that's um that's something but yeah I love a Hyatt I love his daughter Lily who I saw in New Year's Eve a few years ago she takes ass yeah she's fantastic I think she's friends with Gail Bennington too she looks like a Lily she really looks like a Lily okay I'll check out Lily but Hyatt ripped it cry love yeah so that was fun and again he's the artist you got the lube dude but I want to see the art I want to see the guy who loves what he does he's banging it out he's happy to be there and he brings the heat I love that and yeah you gotta love a good festival I love it just going from

timing it out these guys play here at this hour we'll get to eat we'll get our food we'll get a spot over there it's a great feeling but here's the weird thing it rained all day Saturday so we're sitting in the Airbnb and you bang and then you go what should we do should we go out there and you're like well you start thinking about the mud the rain it's the wet the cold and you're like hey man we'll wait till it we'll give it another minute then you check the the weather happens like 100% 100% 100% and I had this moment like fuck it let's just go yeah you gotta go we don't have umbrellas and I'm like we'll get them

they'll have them around you get a slicker we got a slicker we got an umbrella and we went and it was it was commotion I mean it was mud stampede everybody's pushing each other out of the way the rain is coming down and it's it's a bad vibe rain can really fuck you it fucked us Jerry but I'll tell you we just sucked it up we got umbrella hats and we just got some food sat under a tent eight the eight the gumbo and just said all right we're going to watch this band we're just gonna stand in the rain and just suck it up well you can't get wetter than wet so once you're wet that's it you just embrace the wet yes

wish my wife would do that but so we just went to the luminaires and the I'll tell you the Sun parted or the clouds parted and the Sun came out and it felt religious oh yeah it's a spiritual thing music outdoor live music it can really get you right in the asshole yeah you forget how it is and you go boy comedy I don't know if it can do this well comedy is different because it's involuntary as this music you start moving moving and moving but a good comedy show and I talked I've saw Brian Regan I've told him many times in like 2005 2006 the comedy connection in Boston and seeing the pure joy on the faces of everyone

around everyone dying true of course it can yeah it doesn't move mountains for me like I'm not laughing at comedy and thinking about the entirety of my life but it's a different thing it's it's quite joyful but the sound of like 10 15,000 people singing in unison is better than comedy yeah yeah there is a beauty it's like a trance with comedy where you're like the whole audience is listening and they're laughing together and then stop laughing and laugh again it's very hypnotic and it's almost like yeah it's like a big mass hypnosis with a crowd right but it doesn't move you like that where you're like my dad my

childhood you know you don't really get sad on comedy no but you can get yeah both both have great things and many people you leave I just did side splitters shout out to everyone that came out and it was just beautiful my favorite club great great time down there so nice and BT fucking rules he does it the right way and Wayne down there and boy we had a great time we stayed at the condo which was fun was okay so I'm like let me go live with him because the hotel is 20 minutes away and plus you get the extra cash for the hotel so we were just roommates I mean it was nice the condos good not the

little back porch I was smoking cigars and he was watching Seinfeld and cable guys I'd poke my head in fun come in I'm smoking bats and we're laughing whoa whoa whoa how many bats you putting down this week well one day batting down the hatches blood pressure well it's only three days oh I like that every day okay yeah for three days and you're back and you're back back in business but I love that weather down there it's warm yeah it was around I was going for runs and all the people that came out I gotta give a high five to but some of those shows man when you got a show rocking yeah and you can really you start

laughing at how hard that is a special thing that is special very nice when it's really catches fire and I had a guy doing clips Mitch shout out to him and it's great next time you're down there you gotta use this fellow heavy with Mitch but great great weekend so many Tuesdays and it's so funny because in Tampa I've been going there for so long I first with her in 2006 BT looked up an email he's like the last time we email because we just text now he's like was in 2009 he emailed me and said you got to choose between John again and Apollo because they both want you in there three weeks apart wow how the pebble has

left the station yeah pebble beach so that was fun and sold shirts we sold all of them and just a great great time love it but I'll just tell this real quick so I'm coming home I land I got a text from Sarah Sunday Sunday we got the early flight 7 a.m. gets back at 10 got the whole day you get the whole day but you're on night it's that wake up with the alarm goes off at 4 you like this oh the 4 a.m. it's a hell hell gig and so we go there anyways I land and Sarah's like boy I've had a morning Steve and Caitlyn my neighbors Caitlyn Palufo Steve Rogers great comics they're the cat borrowed out which what kind of pet

is trying to escape it like clawed its way through the screen and left through the coop come on it's like sex trafficking they want out well some kooky cat lady New Yorker found the cat brings the cat back buzzes all the buzzes until someone answers Sarah answers Sarah has to come out let let her into Steve and Caitlyn's apartment because she knows where the key is now this lady is seen with the key is oh good now the lady lingers she's just talking she went and taped up their screen she's inside their house tape wow who is this broad yeah she's some kooky cat lady and so Sarah's like I've

been through the ringer telling me the story then I land I get out of the lift and I've already have this info that this happened earlier I get out and there's a fat cat lady with big long nails this long leaning on our like our trash porch and she's like I was your bojo I see you in there and then she goes are you Steven and I go now and I already know who she is because I've got the text you're avoiding I'm not Steven she goes do you know Susan I Susan helped me get the cats together and I go oh Sarah and she goes oh Sarah that's right well I'm gonna wait here for Steven he has my number now oh boy and I go oh my

Christ on Christmas so I go in Sarah's like hiding under the covers I go the cat ladies out there she's like she's crazy yeah then I leave the house three and a half hours later to go do my business I walk out and she's still stand there talking the cat and she goes are you Steven and I go no I'm still Joe you fucking cook whoa what a baddie broad so she goes I saved the cat she told me twice she saved the cat she's open with that sure and then yesterday I'm hanging out in the house and it's all close proximity I hear their buzzer go off and I just hear oh Caitlyn Palufa going oh hey how are you and it's hi I

just wanted to come see the cat so the lady we got a cat cook living in our fucking house you can't get ready got to put a sauce around across the street maybe she'll lick that one we got a move or a shooter or whatever but she probably has eight more lives this fat asshole she's shrodinger's cunt so um take out the problem I said fat asshole in case in case she googles she won't find out what are you getting she's blowing a tabby right I don't think cats can do it oh yeah you're a cat lady that's right well maybe I'll send her to your place but anyways we got a wrap up do you ever let me the side note of the

cat thing but then we'll get out of here you're at tide splitters you got BT you're hanging out you're making friends you're talking you're doing shows I'm making friends but yeah well you chatter with BT it's good to see him yeah do you ever feel weird that you're like oh I'm just a weekend to you like I come down here I love it here I get the Sun the crowds the Florida it's great and then you just leave do you ever have that you ever feel a little wind and dined I don't know I mean they could feel the same way I guess they go hey you're off to some other club now all right but I think it's nice it's because it's a relationship through

the years and you hang out for three days out of the year okay okay that's all I needed but yeah I think it's I think it's good I think it's sweet and you maintain these relates some relationships there you don't have to be so present you can feel them and you go see them you come around okay okay I could die I guess yeah just sometimes I'm like am I the the town whore you know you go down they're like oh we love you you're great to see it then you leave and they're like all right who's next and then they do it to that guy now maybe but I don't know I feel a connection there because I've been there for so long and

then when I first came there he had just started working there we started at the same time and that's why he worked under Bobby now he owns the place now I'm selling some tickets so we've grown together and I think it's a I think it's nice but some clubs yeah you go and you don't give a shit and you go right how are you all right but great great club and that's one of those clubs people should visit side splitters and Tampa great independent club and just great that's only a little skid like a bike when you like mm-hmm but yeah great great independent club run the right way and hot crowds I love those Tampa

crowds got some great clips there no one has done has people done specials there because they should I've thought about my half hour I submitted from there whoa that was something that worked every time I'm on stage there I'm like I should shoot here this is insane you should be shooting I have the best sets of my life there oh yeah they love you down an old tampon but anyways next weekend spoke our is it next week of the weekend after next Spokane June 1st through the 3rd Jeremy Spokane Spokane come to that first through the 3rd and then June 7th I'm in Hollywood Hollywood improv I'm setting up some

podcast everyone always wants me to do the podcast I'm trying to do the podcast doing a couple I don't know we'll see if they get back to me but I think I'm doing a couple of those June 7th Hollywood improv come to that June 16 17 Columbus funny bone bunch more dates on comedian Joe let's go to the YouTube and subscribe bunch of videos on their specials coming soon make sure you get on that and join the patreon oh yeah we just did Chris Rocks bigger blacker and we got questions we got Q and anal we got Musqueef TVs we got the comedian commentary comedian was a blast it gets a little dice you're on there too

I'll tell you yeah we let the expletives fly yeah so get in there I gotta finish this donut while you're doing your plug this comes out when this comes out I will be 23rd the mothership tonight doing that in Austin the mothership the next day the mothership on the 25th so I think Burke Christ is gonna be down there too so we're gonna we're gonna party it up we're gonna be at the mothership we're gonna be potting we're gonna be protecting our parking and I'm in Australia right after that so we're adding shows Sydney Perth Adelaide New Zealand Melbourne and Brisbane got them all and then we're announcing a big tour

after that so special comes out in July say hello to your neighbor fuck your dad and eat out Chuck yeah yeah on fun variable my podcast we just had Doug Keon for like two episodes to promote the Rogue Island comedy festival future father that's right oh did everyone know well it's out now is it I think it's out there all right but there's that and then we're gonna do a fun variable live episode at Grove 34 nice and Andrew Andrew Chavone's gonna be on it Matt Wayne's gonna be on it it's gonna be a good time hell yeah that's gonna be on June 12 Monday June 12 will be there but check out fun variable pod.com for all

that stuff there you go folks you heard it here first we're here we're queer we love you Brasila. Get on the page John. You're on the same side.