Tuesdays with Stories! - #523 Bogan's Heroes

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

It’s a HOT Tuesdays coming at you from Skankfest! We’re talking cigars parties, Darosa exploits, Luis J Gomez being the mayor for a few days, and NONSTOP comedy ladies and gentlemen! It’s Tuesdays!! Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays Sponsors: - Support the show and get 10% off your 1 st month of therapy athttps://www.betterhelp.com/TUESDAYS - Support the show & save 15% on Raycons athttps://www.buyraycon.com/TUESDAYS

Hey Mark, fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do. Great. Good to be here. Welcome to Tuesday's with Stories! Hit her in the face with a surfboard. And then the duck fell out of his bag! Ha ha ha ha!

Surf's up! And she didn't even flush. Knock knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe Liss! Yeah! This Tuesday's with stories, everybody. Yeah, that's terrible.

This is supposed to be cheesy. My radio is spinning at me. Not kidding. Because it's too wonky. All right, we're here. This is from Skankfest. Whoa, yeah, we're here. Look at this nice artwork here.

Well done. Now, I got to shake out the comments, because I just finished an episode of Mindful Metal Jacket with Katie Hanigan. And we were talking, you know, our parents finger fucking us and getting hit. Not that different. I guess that's a good point. That's right in line with this pod. What do you get? A crib notes there? What's that? I don't know what this is. Okay. A little pod notes. This just says Lewis Sucks. I don't know who wrote that, but I wrote that last night. Yes, digital. By the way, there's a derosa fund. You see that?

A derosa. What a fund. A fund. Yeah. Derosa fund. Cause he lost a couple grand on the, the trans hooker. Oh, is that right? Yeah. So everybody's trying to put money in the bucket to get him his money back. Oh, wow. He took a beating down there at the regs. Everyone's got to, does that it possible to go out like a regular episode? Is that just for mint comedy? Does any idea? We're putting that out. Oh, that's like, I mean, it was,

I didn't even participate, because it was all about like, he's gay, he sucked a dick, he sucks dick. He liked it, he told me he's like, it was so hot, the trans person blew me, and I saw that, it was like, Lee Atomas. I mean, six four shoulders, the whole thing. Yeah, it sounds like he blew Scotty Bippa or got blown by

Excuse me, but handed travel. Oh, yeah, he was all over that cock and she he jerked her off and loved it. Um, I was telling you right before We just had a great diner hang we could have used you a denny's huh? And we went to denny's it was me, Karen Fien, Ian Lara, and Lev Ferrer, who was one of the quickest guns out there. He's a quick for a fatty, he can shake it up. I mean, he really has some good singers, but he had the best one of the, he's a big fat handsome guy. And I said, um, I got, he's very attractive. He's got a beautiful eyes, but when you get past the cheek fat and you get into the eyeball, it's nice. He's going well, another quick one that was funny, wasn't that doesn't do with it him jacked up I've been out on this pocket. I got a pump it up

Well, first of all you've skipped the last nine skank fast. So it's good to have you here. I missed one to Houston you were there on the Wednesday or whatever We did a fucking thing you were there before I got a little injured. No, no, you weren't there. And last year we had a lot of pods on this proof. Yeah, but it was Thursday in the special, the one of the fuck this is called, Festival Friday Saturday Sunday. All right, well, I flew up Friday,

so I was there a little bit. Well, that was the most brutal one because you were there for a minute. So, oh, wait, everyone's like, where'd Mark go? And I'm like, he's not in the center of a bitch. Oh, yeah. And last year it was great, because I was King of the Castle without you there.

There you go. I mean, Shane was around, but what are you going to do? Well, he bailed this week. So you're back. I'm back, baby. By the way, do you hear what Mike Suarez did? The James Madden? I mean, that was supposed to be my wife.

Was she Mike? Yeah. The James Madden, oh. I got all kinds of stories. I can't wait. I came back to the original lab and then the other lab. There's two lab. I got, it of stories. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait to come back to the original lab and then the other lab. There's two labs. I got, it looks like it.

Wait, what story do you want first? I want the Denys. The Denys, okay. So we go to Denys. It's me. Ian Laura, Kairphe, and Leffer. You got it. I get waffles or what do you call it?

Pancakes. And you know, I need extra butter. Flap jacks. I gotta get this guy. I need extra butter. Love goes like I got to get this guy an extra butter love goes Oh, I got you Is anything better than a fat guy who knows he's man goes into his pocket Beauty of it is everybody here's got shrooms. I got weed. I got acid. He's got butter. He's his hard

That was a good one. That one. Country crock. That one really got me. There was a few other great ones. I got you. I mean, you know what's weird about these fat guys? I love love, and he's huge.

But they wear the all black. Like, we don't know what's going on. Like, we all know black and so, I can see the year 600 pounds. The black is doing nothing. That was like one of my first jokes about shirts in the pool. I was like 19 years old. It was like the fat guys.

They wear the shirt in the pool. Right. What do you think you're tricking? It's like, we see the shirt. I'm like, what do you got six back abs under there? I can't see. You're gonna teach her. You're gonna get an archival sweater on.

Not to mention when you get out, the things sucks to every role in the city. But anyway, so that was a fun one. And then those smelly made a face. Oh no, I'm good. Oh, okay the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of

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the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of the fun of I think I might too. No. Well, I did, you know, a show and a guy had a thing and I don't know. Oh, really? Sorry, there's like nine people in the room.

I can hear a little gurgle. Well, I think it's a lot of second-hand smoke. We've been sucking down cigars like their cock. Yeah, those ones yesterday hit me pretty good. I was a balloon headed. Well, I think those were like cheapo depot. I don't know what those were. Yeah, that was a rubber fire.

What's that? I said a rubber fire. I shouldn't have said that because Tom and Kristen brought them in their huge Tuesdays. They're great cigars. Those are first class. Very nice. They're different. Good gift.

Thanks for saving a few bucks on the cigars. Yeah. What's the bad one? Primo? What's the shit? Philly's. Philly's. Philly's.

Those are bad. Well, those are like fake. They're for like blunts. I see. Okay. I don't know. But wait, what was the other? Oh, yeah, you had another Lev or a Butter or Danny's. Oh, I thought this was funny. We're all hanging out last night at the Smokers lounge there.

And I was like, I said to Ian Laram, like, you're the most attractive man at this festival. Probably. And Lev goes, what are you kidding? I'm more attractive than him. Oh, and then we all go, no, you're not. And then Katie Hanigan, who's the one woman there who's just little petite Katie goes, no, definitely not. And it was so good. It just hit because it's like man talking about man. Like, who

do we know exactly? And then the one lady with like glasses was like, absolutely not. And that was really fun for him to take that. And she's, she's a little cute midwestern lady. So she has no ill intention. She's just stating a fact. She's like, yeah, no, you're out of your fucking mind. He was hot though, like 10 years ago when he was thin and straight. He was hot. He's still hot. He's still dreamy, Natalie. She's still is. Who's hotter? Ian Lara or Nat? You're Natalie. Ian Lara or Leav Ferrer. I to look, refresh on a picture of you. One's black, and five foot two, and one six, one,

900 pounds. Lev is taller, and he's got, he's mysterious, but he's got so well-quaffed. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face.

He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's got a good face. He's like milk chocolate. That's what comes in. He is very handsome. Yeah, yeah, exactly. There you go. She's racist. So by the way,

the car is background photo is his own comedy special poster. How do you feel about that? Wait, is phone background? Yes, this wallpaper. That is, nah, that's how I feel about that wallpaper. That is horseshit. What a wacko.

You gotta open that every time. That's a I feel about that wallpaper that is horse shit what a wacko you got to open that every time That was putting the last thing I want to see is my own face on my phone that's Kuku I wouldn't put my daughter on there Holy shit you're right, I was nervous. Yeah, you've been in Europe, you turned 40. Oh yeah, I'm a whole different guy. I went to gay parry and I was like, oh yeah, podcasting, what's that? So let me give you this Mike Suarez.

Oh, okay. Cause this is nuts. This is like the inquiry, you're like the Skank newsletter. I got all kinds of gossip. I'm swear to God, I'm dying. It's all secondhand smoke. That's it. Yeah, it'll get you. I'm swear to God, I'm dying. It's all secondhand smoke. I'm not sick. Yeah, it'll get you.

So last night, there's a comedy show. I don't know what room. Michael Suarez, hilarious comic from San Antonio. Big mushy Mike. Yeah, co-producer or old producer of you. You know what, dude? I don't know what the hell he does anymore. No.

But he works somewhere and he's hosting the show. And he's getting ready to bring up James Matter. Oh, yeah, the man dog. For whatever reason He decides to give him an intro. He goes all right folks. We got a big special guest here. It comes Shane Gillis No, the most coveted man at the first the biggest comic in the world and not only that He's supposed to be here. And called in sick. It's kind of believable, like maybe he showed.

Of course, the place explodes and he goes, I'm just kidding, it's James Mattern. Who they don't probably don't know. No offense to James, but he's not on the Gillis eposphere. No, maybe he's got... Hemisphere. I'm sure. He's here every year, so I'm sure a bunch of you will know who he is.

Yeah. And he's a great comic, but... Killer comic. He ain't chained Gillis. No, no, that reminds me here every year. So I'm sure a bunch of you will know who he is. Yeah, and he's a great comic, but killer comic EA chain Gillis no, no, that's that reminds me my first time with a comedy seller Keith Robinson hosting pre-stroke and he goes Ladies here for a treat. I was like, oh, wow. He's being so nice to me. This is cool. And he goes Jerry Seinfeld the place goes Ape shit comedy saw they're on their feet hooting and hollering, and then he goes, ah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we got Mark Norman. And I ain't four minutes digging out of that hole. Yeah, it's, it was rough, but I like, you know, Suarez really did a heel turn. Yeah, was he, he was trying to be mean or was he trying to be funny?

I think funny, probably, I don't know, I wasn't there, I didn't witness this, but Yeah, that's not good for anybody anybody because now the audience is pissed too Yeah, I'm a comic. Yeah, and It's yeah exactly. It's a disservice exactly what I said. We're always on the same page I was like that's a disservice to the comedian and the crowd. Yes, they're like oh, that sucks I told you they they told them Shane wasn't coming and 18 people got up in a 20-seat room walked out There's a guy here that was at the regs. He has a tattoo of the Notre Dame emblem logo, fighting Irish guy with Shane's face. Oh my God, that's a horrible idea.

And he flew, I know what if Shane gets canceled? What if he says something horrible and racist? And then he just has that tattoo for like- He would never do that. But I did talk to Shane, and he sounds like Harvey Firestein. He's like, oh, I can't get back. He's like fucking sick out of his mind. Really? Oh, he's got the herp, the aides, the scurvy. Well, something's up. Shouldn't have kissed him, I guess. So I was here

fest. I feel like I've barely seen you. Yeah. Well, I had the first night and I'm trying to take it somewhat easy. These festivals, they bring the evil out of me. I get horned up, I get liquored up, I get shroomed up, and I hear that Derosa trans story, and I go, that could have been me. That sounds like a fun night. Yeah, you could have blown Derosa. I know, I still can. I love that bar, but yeah, so I'm trying to pump the brakes.

Yeah, I mean, I'm horned up here. Oh, there, so I've just, I'm trying to pump the brakes. Yeah, it's, it's, I mean, I'm, horned up here. Oh, there, there's a lot of talent, and ugly men. There's just big fat women who like me. You know what I mean? Like that low self-esteem, Joe Lisbans. That's my type. And I would just really loved to grab those stretches out and yank on them, you know. Well, fat women are fun because they're like guys, where they just, they want to get

laid too. They're not like, oh, I need a date and tell me you like me. stretchies out and yank on them, you know. Well, fat women are fun because they're like guys where they just, they want to get laid too. They're not like, oh, I need a date and tell me you like me. Now you go, hey, you fucking bovine whore. Let's hit the closet. Yeah, you want to pull those whiskers out and just throw three or four fingers in them. I want to hit them with a cattle prod, right? When they're bent over that says, M N. Well, yeah, I'm having a good time, but these, are you having this worry? I'm doing shows and I go, I've seen that guy at the last show. He was at the last show.

He looks like everyone else here. He's in blackface and I'm like, they've heard it all because I want to do my new stuff. Always, but I've only done two sets so far. Okay. One set each night and, you know, one was a 10 minutes and one's a 15. So I got enough material I can do different. And I did a bunch of crowd work on one. And they're so hot here in the daytime at least.

The 1pm show is good. And they're just, I'm getting a pop here. So they're like, and then you can go, ah, look at this fucking idiot. And they're really just nice and giving. So I'm slow to do material, but. Oh, you do a little riffing in the beginning. I do a little bit of riffing.

And but now that's two sets. The third one I'm gonna really be in my head. Yeah. And the fourth and fifth tomorrow, I'm gonna be like, well, I'm fucked now. Exactly. But what's great about this, Fest is everybody knows everything. head and the fourth and fifth tomorrow, I'm going to be like, well, I'm fucked now. Exactly. But what's great about this, Fest is everybody knows everything.

If you come out and start talking about Derosa and the Trans Leotamas, it'll hit. Yeah. Because everyone knows about it. But also, I think there's more people here than I realize. Like in my mind, I did a set at the stand where there's 125 people. Yeah. Like here comes my second set, they've heard it. But like there's 2,000 people walking around.

So 98% still haven't seen me do standout. How many people are here, Natalie? Any idea? Give us a ballpark. A thousandish? I think it's more than that. Wow. 2000 is it?

Okay, that's pretty good. Yeah, at least 2000. 2000. That's incredible. 3500. 3500. Wow, I'm getting paid a hundred bucks a day. Yeah. So yeah, there's 3500 people here. I've done two sets in comedy clubs on real. At most 250 people have seen

me do stand up. Yeah, but you feel like, oh, I like that guy. I'll go back and see him. I think there's a little bit. Yeah, because there's certainly not all 3500 or fans of mine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But there's certainly not all 3,500 or fans of mine. Not for the numbers anyways. No chance. But I'll tell you this, I did the Joker's cruise years ago. And I'd say 1200 people, how many people are on a cruise? I can't do numbers. 800, I don't know. 1200.

It feels like a little neighborhood. You're like, Hey, Tom. Hey, Rocco, like you see everybody walking on the hall at breakfast at the gym at the common area at the pool. And they've all seen it. All of them have seen your act because they're like, that's the hall at breakfast at the gym, at the common area at the pool, and they've all seen it. All of them have seen your act, because that's the only thing to do is go to a show. So they have big theaters on a cruise,

which doesn't feel like it would fit, but it does. Yeah, they can fit anything in there. They can fit in, there's a water park, a theater, like go carts, it's crazy. It's like, it loads his ass, he can fit something in there. I stepped on the loop. But yeah, so that was hell, because I was there five nights,

and it was just the same people over and over. You're doing like, oh, Jay jokes. You're going way back. Reagan, huh? What's up with the voodoo economics? Something DOO economics. Well, tonight I got to do Wheeler. You know that show? That's a fun. You're gonna have fun.

It's fun. It's fun. It's just no material. You just fuck around. No, I thought you did material. You might do a five minute set or something just so they can judge you, but then they go, all right, let's talk. And you just talk to the judges. Now, you feel like a piece of meat.

Am I crazy? I thought that was more like a kill Tony where like the open micers go on. Why, I'm like, I'm, first of all married. No, it's no, no, no open micer. It's, it's pros. Okay. And then they sit there while you do a set, which is a little awkward.

And then they go, would you fuck him and why? Okay. So it's mostly positive. It's gonna be hurtful for you. You know, that might be. No. I got a general herpes and teeth and forehead. The hurt might hurt you a little bit.

But the teeth, they won't bring up. They're gonna go, you're tall, you're successful. You're a good guy. you don't kiss men. Yeah, you have things. Damn right. I think that's a turn on for more women than they want to admit. Oh, my wife told me she's like, if I saw you kissing a guy, I would divorce her. I got the same thing.

My wife was born in 1978. Yeah, yeah, so she's home. She says F word. She's like, let me find out you fucking hooked up with a guy. You'll be out in your ass. She voted for no gay marriage. So Wicked new kicks. Yeah, I got the new bow the five fifties, hey, what do you think? Some kick him. He goes, oh, those are the Jamal Watkins. I'm like, who's that a criminal? I don't even know, but They're very comfortable. Yeah, they're okay. Oh, I go 10 80s always. I'm all 10 80. Oh, yeah

I'm a runner. I got to be ready to go a little too comfortable are too colorful for me colorful Yeah, it's blue white blue. It's all that it's all colors the same colors your shoe What's the mostly white that's a lot of gray? I guess I can't handle the the solid color unless it's a white or black or Asian you want to see a lot of great take Take a look at the mirror, Mr. 40. I know, man, look at this. Just for men, I need it. You're done, you're out, you're on the way out. Salt and Pepp.

Ah, great group. What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. Shoot, baby. Shoot, hoo. Hey, boy, the rap was so simple. Now it's like tuned up and a, I can't keep up. It's all, we'll get it. It's going, it's like tuned up and uh I can't keep up It's all good

It's really not good It's computer it's all auto to it and I'm like I can do that Yeah I feel the same way how about Sagalo I didn't hear it He's rapping all over the place What are you doing over there in Europe? Rap it You don't know about Sagalo

I don't want to see it Candy Rapper He's like talking about it Sagalo I eat out of a bag of lov I can't handle about Sagalove. I don't know what to say. Candy Rapper. He's like talking about it. Sagalove. I eat out of a bag of love. I can't handle that. Yeah. It makes me uncomfortable.

Oh, he wraps, baby, with the best of them. Oh, well, he's a ported little man. I want to squeeze him. He's got the same body as Kim Jong-un. Have you noticed that? I haven't really noticed that. It's the same portly shape and the flat top and everything. Oh, no kidding.

He's another great hang. He's got some good hangs. You got to get into that smokers lounge over there. It's the best part of the whole time. I haven't seen the lounge. It's right next to the merch tent outside. Oh, okay. And we're all, I'm telling you we had E and Lara,

Lev, Bobby, Karen, me, I'm Soder, Canon, Tom Dustin. And we're zippin' and Zappin' I had a great moment today, because Tom Dustin, who I'm making a film about the people know he did the live episode and he's sitting around, you know, he's hung over, he's gay. And the here's the scenario guys, which is ending by the way. I got all the gossip. Who's that? Oh, that's ending. Exactly. Oh, shit. I did that part. What a waste. It's canon, sagging and feeny. Yes. And they gave themselves three

years. It didn't work. Although it's a hilarious show. I liked it. All there is. I said, why don't you try dropping one member and see what happens. Yeah, we all know who. I just stared at the ceiling. I didn't want to give away.

I didn't want to tip my hand. Well, spin a bottle. But, anyway, so that's, that's Kaputs. Wow, I don't, I don't, I don't get on dig into that. We, we, we, we be going 12 years or whatever it is. 10 years this month. And the first eight years were nothing yeah 10 years this month Happen to have you along? Cleaf it up my father's gay. Yeah, so 10 years. That's crazy crazy

It's like that scene in gross point blank with Jeremy Piven 10 years. Yeah, that's a decade We made a decade a dime underrated film by the way you like gross point blank What's the time you time sniffed it? Well, I saw it on Comedy Central in 1981 and the commercials and I was in and out with a duck Hunt going you know what was on in the back But it's been too long mini driver mini driver who's so hot there amazing soundtrack and Q sack who's as good as it gets and amazing soundtrack and Qsack who's as good as it gets and and Dan Hackroyd is in there.

Oh, yeah. He would pop in. He was a Tommy boy. He would jump around for movie to movie. I watch Tommy win the flight. Oh, still fun. Farley's great. Slower than I remember, too, but it's the 90s.

Yeah, yeah. It's a, it's fun. I mean, I still, you know, yeah. I mean, it's some horseshit like a million break That stuff is like all right. All right. What is this a lifetime movie? Yeah, there's some problems, but Farley is just so fucking funny. Don't come here worthless. I'm doing my best I hadn't heard that in a long time and when I was in high school. That's all we said we said that all the time I was like one of our go to line. That's the line that grabbed you. I never thought about that one. Oh, yeah.

That's a big one and great. So similar to somebody coming. You know what's funny? I think about there was like three comedies in 12 months about just a really dumb guy. It was like Billy Madison, Dumb and Dumber and Tommy boy. Yeah, just like a kind of a tired guy. That's right. And for his gump won the Oscar. So the boy retard was was pumping good or bad or funny or serious. But I forgot I was telling a story. Oh, sorry. Let me just say this. You ever rewatched a 10 minutes of Billy Madison? The comfort it must take.

I don't have any of this confidence to go stop looking at me swan with a film crew. There's a whole crew. There's craft service. There's a director in a chair with a bullhorn, and could you ever do that in front of those people? No, the best example of that to me is the fucking Will Farrell audition.

You ever watched the Will Farrell audition? For SNL? For SNL? No, I never had comedians in cars. I don't remember it. I don't rewatch. Doing a cat, you remember? He's like playing a cat, and he talks about it in comedians in cars, and Jerry's like, you stuck to that bit, there's nobody there,

there's a boom and we'll, there's a boom operator, and Lauren Michaels is sitting there like in the front row. Yeah. And this man, this 30 year old man is going like, I'm like, I can't even do an act out. No, no, it's like. That's the bulls that take, so the comfort, I don't know what it is, to slip away into that world of confidence

and comfort is crazy to me. No, I do a joke on stage, it doesn't land. I'm like, would you like me to kill myself? I'll do it right now. I'm so sorry I tried to do comedy. I'll call my parents, you can call our gun. I'm sorry. I agree, we've all seen that guy do a pratfall

or a back flip lands on his back and it bombs. Oh, man, I would fly it to Haiti. It's bad, but yeah, Will Ferrell did it and the Billy Madison, I just, I had a hard time getting into that one, but yeah, he would go on, we could update and do all that shit with the, what was it, the vampire or the count, Dracula? Who's that guy? We'd count. We could update.

Oh, he was, he had a cape on. or the count, Jockela, who's that guy? Would count? I don't know. We get update. Oh. He was, he had a cape on. Yeah. He was like a magician or something. No, I think it was the opera guy. opera. Yeah, I was touched again, but I never said I knew it would bother you.

I think I got some mental problems. Possibly. But no hugging. Folks, this episode of Tuesday's With Stories is brought to you by Better Help. Sometimes it is impossible to keep intrusive thoughts from popping in. I'm having that problem right now. And once they're in, they're tricky to get out. Let someone who understands, talk you through it.

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Anyway, so we're all sitting around the circle and they're like, we need someone to do here's the scenario and Christine's like, there she's like, I don't know, everyone's got shows, what about you? I got a show and I go, I was like, I was like, take the Cayman and I was like, get Tom Dustin. Oh, yeah. I was like, have a mind. He's the funniest guy at the festival.

The show's tankin' anyway. I get a text from Canon, he's like, thanks so the festival. The show's tankin anyway. I got a text from Canon. He's like, thanks so much. He saved the show, funniest guy. I think they got to keep doing it. Oh, wow, dusty slay comin' through. They're not gonna keep doing it. Buck, he brought the heat. Damn, well, Katam is so underrated.

He killed on the live show. He had great stories that a square groupah, I mean, just everything he says, he just wanted to keep repeating it. Yeah, he could have been big. He still could. He should leave this film. By the way, how about this? I did Rogan. Have you heard of this show? Seth Rogan? It's picking up. Okay. No bow. Bow, bow, Rogan. Bogan? I don't know, Bogan. I'll check him out, but it came out today. How fun is that? Isn't that fun just that's out in the ether now? Bogan's heroes, I'm very excited, it's out.

I got a buddy, it's so insulting. Everyone's like, you finally figured it out. I'm like, all right, the other one's weren't bad. It was a joke. I was doing a bit. We're gonna have to talk, I know a microphone. The first episode I did, he's hollying laughing. I told the shit in the shoes.

Story, yes. I talked about getting bugged, he was laughing, it was good. I got many messages saying they were good for sake. So I saved you kidding? I was like, I told the shit in the shoes. Yeah, I talked about getting bugged. He was laughing. It was good. I got many messages saying they were good for money. You can't make a joke with these people. No, no, the cat. You can't do the cat joke. They don't get it. So what tell me about it? How was it? Because that studio can be a little intimidating. Well, what did I, what was I starting to say? What's the scenario? Rogan Denny's butter. What the hell was I talking about?

Boy, that butter line was big. Can't wear black. Who's hotter in Laura? Not for up. By the way, he really throws it out there on his Twitter. He shits on everybody. So now he's like, everyone he sees, he's like, oh my god, they're here. Yeah, these people with the public shitting, it's bad news.

It doesn't make sense. Oh, how about this? Some, some not sweet guy. Appreciate you don't kill yourself. Yesterday I walked around, he wants a hug. Okay. And I got a hot tea in my hand. I do like a, and he goes, I need a two hand hug.

Come on, two hand hug. I'm like, whoa, I go, nah, that's enough man. All right, take care. Hey, messages me, I feel terrible. Let him at the diner with Levine and Karen. And I go, how about the psycho that was there? He tried to hug me. He's the waiter. No, we get up and the guy pops up. He's like, hey man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

It was brutal. Jesus, hugs not drugs. That's brutal. It skipped out in the bill. I just ran out. I don't believe you put it on huggy bear over here That's crazy. What are the odds of all the denys in all the world you get a hug master J behind you? Wow Denny's right at that that's true, but still but you can't be double hug you want a hug You're gonna get the hug I give you you can't make up hug directions on me. No, what are you Harvey Weinstein? Come on Huggy Weinstein that doesn't make sense. I liked it. I did I did I was a bear so I did the hug Rogan and I forget what the fuck I was bringing it up for what the hell was I talking about Hug shit. Oh, so you did the show how to go you figured it out finally

You got a bit down did you get any laughs did you have any fun stores do you have any good connections I didn't even try for a laugh I went in there I'm doing a drama podcast you can't do it I joke opportunity comes up you're gonna jump on it like a fat kid on butter well I had a couple jokes of course but I was like I'm just gonna go with the full a couple times I had to be like you lost me I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, because he was going into his, Elk, Spaceships. Well, what point he says, you know the difference between a rain beer and an elk.

I don't. I thought it was a street joke. Oh, that's like, what is it? Yeah, what is it, thunder? No, I don't know. And then he started just answering. And I legitimately was like, I thought you were doing a bit. Oh, that's funny.

We got to ride a punch level that bit by the end of the pod. Yeah, good point. But I don't know if it was Elk. Elk was reindeer. Reindeer and it was Elk. Elk and a reindeer. And it was in an Elk, Pulasle. A reindeer as the red nose.

Oh yeah. Something with the Elk. It's got a cold. Elboy. All right. We'll come back to that. Got Elk. Yeah, you guys could work on hell it's got a cold. Hellboy. All right. We'll come back to that got elk. Yeah, you guys could work on this. That would be great.

What the hell? John Elkway. Okay, well, either way, it was good, huh? Yeah, it was fun. I forget why I was bringing it up though. How about that mothership, huh? In that a hot room? My God, that is really something and my, my, some of the stuff I'm not supposed to talk about, but I want to talk about it, but we'll talk about it later. Okay, I'm not in the hot room. My God, that is really something. And I did, some of the stuff I'm not supposed to talk about, but I want to talk about,

but we'll talk about it later. Okay, I'm excited. But yeah, Mother Ship was unbelievable, so fucking cool. Both rooms are killer. Both rooms. I like that small room a lot because the ceiling is a tad high in the other room, but it's still great. Yeah, I think I got it on a good night.

I did two nights and I don't know, it was packed out and they were hot, the earlier shows were better. It can be into me in the second show though. You look out and it's like, it's Rogan. Like it's big guys with tattoos all around. They're like, and I felt like I had to really be like, you know how you, this fucking shit. Right, yeah.

You know, you gotta give them a little extra meat. You know, you're gonna love very, eat food. Yeah, like, you know how you f- this fucking shit. Right? Yeah. You know, you got to give him a little extra meat. You know, you got to let him know you eat food. Yeah, yeah, you like meat. You say, fuck, a few more times, you call something gay. Yeah, because I walked out and they were like, wait a second. All right, who's this twink? But, um, no. We can feel it in that club.

There's an energy there. Like, oh, something's bubbling up here. There's a line around the block. The waiters are all cool and hot. And they're all, they got like security with a machine gun. It feels like something's bubbling up here. There's a line around the block. The waiters are all cool and hot, and they're all, they got like security with a machine gun. It feels like something's happening. Well, it's scary going in too,

because like, I've never been there. They don't know who I am, but you feel like somebody, but the people in the front, they don't know that I'm friends with Joe. Right. So, I got there in CJ Lang. CJ Lang.

CJ Lang. I don't know what. That's not his name at all. CJ Landry. I don't know CJ Lang, CJ Lang. CJ Lang. I don't know why. That's not his name at all. CJ Landry. I don't know where Lang came from. You know CJ Landry? We talked about him before.

Very funny guy. No, no, he's from Louisiana. Oh. But like backwards, Louisiana. I keep hearing this guy's name. I heard he's good. He's very funny and I met him in Fort Worth a couple of years ago or something like that.

But anyways, he's hilarious. But I bumped in here. he's a door guy. So I got out of my lift and he was there and it was like a fucking morat. I was like, oh my God, and he's like, I'll take you there. Yeah. So I was like, thank you. The next night, he's not there.

And I'm just like walking up to some lady and she's like, you gotta get a wristband. Oh boy. And I'm with Chris Allen. Oh, I'll let go. Yeah. All right, we'll talk later. No, Chris was great, but there's very serious rules, but who can be in the green one? Oh, that's tough. On Joe's night. And so somebody had to say

to Chris, you know, no plexil. Yeah, yeah, that's how it goes over there. No, I think it's got it. You got to be close with Joe. Sure, sure. And so he kind of had to sit on the back of the other room. Yeah. So you want to keep him company. Yeah. Also everyone's smoking cigars and listening to music. Yeah. Talking about how cold. Right. I believe vaccine killed Lamar Hamlin or whatever. So you got to go in there. Yeah. Talk about how COVID's gay and vaccines are stupid or whatever. Without GZ any craze. And so I had to keep ducking out and be like, Hey, Chris, it sucks in there. You don't want to be in there, right? Right.

Right. We're ready. Stupid. And I go back in and smoke my cigar. They're storming the capital over there, folks. And well, that's cool. Yeah, that's fun. That is a little awkward when you got to do the back and forth, but I get it from Joe's

perspective because he's talking to somebody, he says something crazy, they're in there. They hear that and then people go, how was the mother's year ago? Kind of crazy, I was in the green room and Joe said, this isn't this, they take it out of context, they tweet, they blog, they quave, and that's that. I completely understand it. And you know, we're dealing with that here here like we've made this little smokers lounge and everyone's wow someone pops in and It's it's you know like I said me Bobby left yeah and so do and it were a gang sure and you're chit chat about who knows who and then

Two guys from the band what I'm sure a great guy's will they come in and And now you got to get to know something they They go, where are you from? Exactly. Where'd you grow up? Yeah. And I go, I just want to call my friends fat and stupid and ugly and horrors. I don't want to leave like, and do an interview.

I don't want to interview everybody. That happened to me in Paris, not to be a cunt, but we did a couple shows. That's why Doug Keys is a fucking champ. I'll talk all about Europe on the next step. But we go to Paris on a whim, and Doug goes, hold on,

let me do some, some tweeting and texting. He sets up four shows. We set them up, they all sell out. We go to the shows and all. And he set up the shows? He set up the shows in Paris. Wow. Yeah, incredible.

Just that day before or a day of. So we, we set it up. I put out one story. We sell it out. People, the word of mouth gets a buzzing. All the comics show up and they go, hey, there's no green room, people the word of mouth gets a buzzin, all the comics show up, and they go, hey, there's no green room, but the comics are a little nutty. So you got to hang out in this courtyard, and I go,

okay, so I'm hang out with the courtyard, and the manager guy comes out and he goes, can you meet one guy? I go, yeah, I'll meet anybody. He comes out, and I go, hey, nice to meet you. And then I'm sitting there looking at my notes, and he's just standing there, and I'm like, where you from?

I have to do, it's too awkward to not interview him now. Yes. So and then you don't want him going back on. I met Normandy's a fucking chuch, you know, he's a diva. So you got to do the like, oh, how long you been doing it? I just want to look at my notes. Yes, and some people have the ability to be like, hey man, where are we all know each other?

So if you could just shove it off. I can never, I don't have the stomach for it. That's too mean. I got people I've been friends with for 20 years because I don't know how to be like, that's enough for her anymore this. My wife, yes. I mean, these hairs are there, they're my heroes.

I wanted to end this, 10 years ago. Of course, of course. Two episodes in, I was like, what are you doing? This is Gary, what'd you say? No, it's good. So that was, that's a tough thing. I wish I had that, but then I can only imagine that those people are getting shit on later, like, ah, he told me to fuck off, fuck that guy.

So you assume that's happening, but not to us. I think, and I think Chris got lucky because it was a comedian who was like, oh, Joe doesn't really like anyone. Oh, yeah. And so that's like the best case scenario, because I think sometimes Joe himself will be like, you got to get out of here. Yeah, you're probably right. And I get it.

I mean, Joe's a big star and a lot of people hate him. He's a controversial person. Yeah. So he doesn't know who's a fucking spy and who's a what. So it was tough, but you had to, I would have a cigar and my manager lives there too. So like I would pop out and kind of talk to them, but you like, it's not even that. I just want to have my cigar. Of course, of course. And then Chris wanted to smoke weed and everyone's smoking weed in there, but it was like tricky because you

know, it's, it was a little bit tricky. I felt for Chris. Yeah. And but you don't want to be on the other end of it too. One time a guy goes, Hey, you go on to the mothership. Can you, can you put me on the list to watch? Like, Oh, no problem. And then he's sitting in the bar and he goes, when does, when does a Rogan come out to the bar? And I'm like, Oh, I don't know. And I could tell he was just like, Oh, I'm going to meet Rogan. He thought by me getting him in. And he was going to meet him and take a photo with him and chat with him. And I was like, All right, is the last time I let somebody in? Yeah. It was too much. Well, this is the thing to you forget about, because we're just friends with all these people.

Right. It doesn't make sense to me that it's a big deal to meet. I know. You know, people are like, is that Mike Cannon? Exactly. Can I meet Mike? Like what?

Cannon. Nobody can. You know what I mean? It's like, it's still strange to me that someone has a Shane Gillis tattoo. Of course. That's good. All right.

But I do get, I remember being in an open mic one time and Victor Varnado went on and he had done Conan. And I was like, oh my god, Victor Varnado is here. No one knows who that is, but he did Conan, but I was blown away. I've had the same thing with Paul Nardizzi. Oh, funny guy. He was the first person I ever saw that was on TV.

He was in the room and it was like, that man was on NBC. Yes, it's like Elvis is here. Holy shit, you're like, how you doing? I never say how you doing. I'm good to meet you. I'm good to meet you. You know how it is, all right, fuck,

and then you run away. I'm all shook up. Yeah, yeah, I've never Theo Vaughan when I started comedy was on road rules. Yes. So this is in Louisiana in 2006. Nothing's going on. I'm nobody been kicked out of six colleges.

I can't get it up. And you see Theo Vaughn, and he's like, this good looking handsome guy who's hip. He's got cool shoes on. And he's up there going. I remember one of his jokes. I still remember it. He goes up and the crowd's like,

oh my god, that guy's on MTV. There's like a little murmur going. And then he goes, you know, the other day I was sick and somebody said, yeah, you're a little under the weather. And he goes, hmm, that's a weird phrase. Aren't we all under the weather? And I was like, I'm a shipblood. I jerked off.

My mind was blown. I was like, what a bit. What a premise. Now I look back and I'm like, well, that's the best. My mind was blown. I was like, what a bitch! What a premise! Now I look back and I'm like, well, that's the best, but at the time. That's 10 worst bits ever. Oh, come on. It makes sense. It was a while ago, right?

Yes, 2006. Oh, OK, yeah. That's what it was. It sucks, bitch. At the time, I was like, what? I thought he was a Rembrandt. Wow. I couldn't believe it. Plus, you know, the shoes and the TV, and he had a Rembrandt. Wow. I couldn't believe it.

Plus, you know, the shoes and the TV and he had a hot girlfriend. The whole thing was fascinating. I'm dying over here. We got to get a Stogian here. I know. I'm going to go smoke after this. My eyes hurt. I don't know what the hell's going on.

What else happened down there? Yeah. So Chris was great to see Chris. Plus I had a black bodyguard, which was nice. Oh, he's a big dude. Yeah, so that was fun. But we didn't get a chance to hang, because I went to get a new iPhone, have a new phone, which is exciting.

Oh. By the way, I got the new phone, because I thought we got to shoot the episode on my phone. Oh, wow. I had no space. I did this all just for this and Natalie saved the day. And I don't know you're, you're not making that. Hi Austin. Austin.

You work for Gast too. Oh, you're the day. And I don't know you're in your head. I can add. Hi Austin. Austin. You work for gas too? Oh, you're just homeless. Oh, okay. You're one of the people we're talking about. Get the fuck out of here. Well, you want to be nice. But you were right.

You were like, you got to, if it's a 10 minute walk, you got to a lot 30 minutes for the stops. Yes. Just getting up the escalator. One guy's like, can you sign my book? Can you call my dad? Can you sue me? Whatever.

So that takes six minutes and you get 10 dad, can you sue me, whatever. Oh. So that takes six minutes and you get 10 feet and you got to hit another guy. I get 10 feet and you hit another guy. Well, this is like a make-a-wish for me. You've blown up, you're in the stratosphere, everyone's very excited for you. But here, you're like that walking around New York.

Oh, no. Oh, this is crazy. I've seen it. But here, I'm like a special needs kid. I mean, I walk in, people chant my name and touch my ass and hugging me. I feel like I'm gonna move here. This is wild.

I've never felt love like this. I'll move here. Holy shit. But yeah, yeah, this is fun. And it's all great. And I gotta say the fans of the audience or whatever you wanna call them, sweetest people on the planet.

Just huge comedy nerds, so nice. Everybody thinks this is a fucking rally with swastikas and uh, rape rooms. It's all good eggs. There is a rape room, it's one level up. Oh shit, I missed it. I did it in the closet. But uh, no, it really is, uh, it's a fucking love fest. It's tremendous stuff.

Yeah, that's how I was a little up at the live episode. There was a couple of like kind of antagonistically- A little bit. Heckly people, those like, what are you doing? I know what we do here. I blame the room. I was a little up at the live episode. There was a couple of like kind of antagonistically a little bit. Heckly people, those like, what are you doing? I know what we do here. I blame the room, but I think you know, people are juiced up, they see a fist fight outside,

they got Jason Ellis' dick in their face, you know, they're a little toxic up. Yeah, I mean, everyone is so goddamn nice and sweet and autistic, it's really, it's a special place to be. Very nice, thanks for having us. I love it, I just, I won't miss it. I'm gonna have a baby next year. I'm gonna bring her here and pass them around

like a fucking like Lewis. Yeah, let them crowd surf all over until he's off in Reno. And seeing Lewis, how happy Lewis is, he's throwing ice at his employees, but that's Lewis. I mean, he's crowd surfing and people are showing tits and it's just awesome. Happy Lewis is throwing ice at his employees, but that's Lewis. He's crowd surfing and people are showing tints, and it's just awesome. Well, you know what it is for Lewis? Because I think Lewis is a confident guy.

He's got a big, healthy ego. And then here, it's Gangfest. He's like, yeah, this is how it should be all the time. The way everyone's treating me now with the cowboy hat on and the Versace pajamas or whatever he's wearing, he's thinks like, oh, this is the baseline. I think he thinks like, who's how it normally should be. So the rest of the time, the rest of the 360 days a year,

that's weird. Well, I think all time, I would hate to be a celebrity. It seems awful, but I walk around here, I'm like, nah, I can get used to it. I'm taking photos and shaking hands and kissing women, cut that. Yeah, this part is all fun, but it's the it's the online hate. That's that's when you're like, oh, this kind of suck like like Hassan Manage said, uh, hey, you get too big. You know, that's what happens.

And you're like, yeah, they're going to come at you at some point. We're back. Yeah, by the camera. Just cut off. They don't know how to fucking edit a podcast here. I mean, I don't know what the hell happened. The camera, the batteries died. We lost the whole chunk of the podcast. Zach Amiko walked in and shook the room. Everything fell down. The whole middle of the podcast just got nipped out. But yeah, that's a hell of a story it told. Oh, yeah, I'll tell it again in a year.

Now, a woman like this, is this turn you on to have the folks at home that are listening on audio? There's a visual of a woman with giant tits wearing a tie, short skirt, tattoo, is ever a machine gun and big lips and a green eye shadow. You like that? I'm into it. I don't understand the Tommy gun. First of all, what does she need a machine gun for? And secondly, why does she have one that's 80 years old? That I don't understand. Is she going to, is she hanging out with Dillinger? Is she going to rob a bank and then model

tea? Tim Dillinger. But I like the tats and she's got an ample bosom and a nice mug. So yeah, why the hell not? I'm all horned up. I've been gone for two weeks. My wife is 95 months pregnant. There's my de rosa impression. Sorry. Her tips are the size of basketball. She's got a big fat stomach and a big ass stomach and a big stomach ass. And careful you lose that mic you're getting tight taught There you go

But how many times around no Anyways, I'm all horned up. I haven't had sex in nine days. She's pregnant. See you feel like a man when your wife is pregnant Yes, and there's all these I'm looking at this, I just want to lift that skirt and stick a couple fingers in there and make you smell them. Anything? Like a look up and he's like, no, nothing there yet, but full bush. But yeah, I'm with you, man. I've been my hotel suite.

The nugget's not bad. Nuggets good. But I got, I got a 13 nuggets of a washcloth. I'll crunched up. I'm stepping on popcorn in there. Yeah, it's, have you been to the circus? I walk by it. Do yourself a favor.

Don't go in. Don't visit anybody's room. Now there's two hotels that some comedians are at Circa, which is the newest hotel in Las Vegas. Is that right? Yes. Brand new. Where are you guys?

If you tell me you're at Circa, I'm going to fucking take my own life. No, I'm at the nugget with the circus. All right. Circa, Dicellate. Come by my. I'm at the nugget with the whole world. Alright, hell yeah. Circa, Düsselay. Come by my room. Yeah. And then mine.

I went to... I'm gonna have a couple of house calls. We like to sexually harass the volunteers that we don't know that well. Well, you come too there just to even it out. Yeah, that makes it better. Yeah. He's a volunteer.

I went to Bobby's room to suck him off. Sure. And the Circa, you can't believe how much better than a jelly. Really? Because we have junior suites and we're, you know, junior, stuck, junior, and they're nice. You go over the circus. Bobby has the curtains that you press and they go,

that's that bastard. It's two buildings at two rooms. It's like a living room divided by a wall His toilet sucks the shit right out of your ass. I love a shit suck. It's unbelievable New everything I'm embarrassed to go over there. Oh, he's shaped like a circle But yeah, what need was he need two rooms for one for him and his old self? Circa 400 pounds, but, um, but it's just, I know, and the nugget, it just smells like my grandmother's asshole on Christmas. I know, I know it's got that old, mothball wooden pussy smell. It's like somebody opened a trunk full of a dead lady's clothes.

It really does. By the way, we're killing with the two special needs kits. Okay, well, we're going to use you at the live show because that fizzled out like Lewis's dick. That was a bomb now. You have something to add there. I thought you were going to say something. Oh, you said this is irrelevant.

She's at the nugget as well. Are you at the nugget there, volunteer? Okay. No, he volunteered. Oh, he's a maker. He's a maker. It's a maker-wish. He's a maker-wish.

He's a maker-wish. He's a maker-wish. He's a maker-wish. He's a maker-'s clever. He's a make-o-wish. Oh, you're a big, cool, creeper. You're a different country, you weirdo. Oh my god. He's lying on the sidewalk. He's fucking homeless. I'll give you a couple bucks after this. Maybe I have a free liquid death. Now, are you a fan of the show?

Have you seen the show? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, really? It's all pipes. Now, what are you doing? You're just volunteered to listen to podcasts? Yeah, pretty much. You can do that at home.

Podcasts, I think I did the focus. Oh, I focus. They focus on the person in here. Wow. All right. Not a focus. Good to see you. Good to have you back.

All right. Well, we got, we'll get late. I don't know. I don't want to ask too many questions, but. Yeah, the male, the female ratio. Who would you say? 95 to 5, the female ratio, who would you say? 95 to 5, 90, 10, what do you think? Oh, that's percentages.

Oh, sorry. You're right. 10 to 1. I don't know one, but then there's a trance of a couple of trance in there, so that muddies the waters. I think that I heard this is the most women. There's more women this year. I feel like I've noticed that um, but

Yeah, it's still probably I'm gonna say eight to one Because there's a lot of couples out there. Oh, yeah true, but they all they all swing because when you see you'll see like a really hot woman Yeah, and then you're like whoa and there's a guy right Tattoos and muscles and you're like ah that checks out exact, and there's a guy right behind me with tattoos and muscles. And you're like, ah, that checks out. Exactly. But it's nice. It's kind of comforting knowing that some of these juggalos and kamikans on ketamine can get a lady. Of course.

I mean, I think we're funny guys. Sometimes I talk about them. No, but I'm saying normal people listen. They're like, this is funny. It's not all just, you know, retards and pipes. I mean, it's a horrible radio show. Retards and pipes in the morning. But yeah, no, you're right.

I don't think he got something there, but yeah, I do think this is a Comic Con mixed with a little bit of crank. And that's how I would describe the audience. Well, and there's a lot of, a lot of drugs and mushrooms and weed. And I just, you know, I was describe the audience. Well, and there's a lot of, a lot of drugs and mushrooms and weed. And I just, you know, I was a big weed booze guy, more booze, but all the people on acid and mushrooms just out of festival,

I can't wrap my head around. Yeah. The, what do you call that? The fucking stimulus. Oh, yeah. Run shrooms. Like, I'm just, I don't know how you do it. And last night, you know, I don't, maybe she doesn't want it,

but my Karen was on mushrooms. I think she said it several times. We're not like outing any air. But we did two back-to-back live podcasts, and it's hard to get big laughs in a podcast. And so she would kept being like, on the real-ass podcast, she's like, oh my God, this is horrible. I suck.

I'm like, this is gonna relax, it's fine. But I'm like, I know how I feel, not on mushrooms. Right. When you do a big line and it gets nothing, of course. On mushrooms, you must be like, oh, fuck. I know. What is she thinking?

You gotta do that after it. Look, I'm not judging. I like a shroom as much as the next guy, but you gotta do that later on. Live pod, you gotta be fresh. Yeah, I felt for everyone on mushroom, and I talked about it before. I bumped into Josh Potter at Skankfist two years ago and he's like, hey, what's up, man?

I'm on acid. I was like, what? A lot of people ask that, we're on acid's going around. It's in the water. Are he spiking drinks? No kidding. I want to be on acid in the trees, in the mountains, by the pyramids, you know, playing Sagittarius' whatever, not meeting fucking interns.

No offense. Sagittarius'. You know playing Sega Genesis, whatever not meeting fucking interns No, but Sega Genesis, but yeah, and I also say that I've noticed that these after parties They're at a strip club. They're at a nightclub. They're at a fucking SeaWorld Give me give me a this should be the green room where we have an after party like 12 guys a couple of gals and a couple of beers And we'll just chit and chat and laugh. That's what I'd say the same thing and I was in bed at 12.05 AM. Last night. I was in my hotel 11, but I'm also getting here at 10.30 AM.

I'm a day person. Why 10.30 AM? Well, yesterday I had, what was it? I was at the Brexit noon. The Brexit noon today, yesterday I had a 1. spot. Wow. So you come over and I got here in 11 yesterday. So Bobby sat by and I sat in the little smokers lounge and had a cigar and both shitted and then people come in and ran as easy as they are and so the whole thing. It's lovely. So you spend the day there. See, that's good too because

do you get the festival anxiety? A bit. Less than I used to. Wait, like, FOMO or what? No, no, like, well, the hangover really, so you don't have that problem. No. But the hangover kicks it up, but I'll wake up. I'm like, ugh, you have that whole rig of mortise thing, then you have to like, get up and then cry.

And then you have to like, get back and you pop a couple of tile and all. You do a coffee, you start to come back to life. And you look out the window, you're like, I can't face it, I can't go out there. And then you start thinking about bumping in the comics, and you're like, I got nothing to say, I'm an introvert, and I have to get over that hump,

and then just force myself, which is why going out at 10.30 is nice, because once you, it's like a pool, once you're in it, you're good, but it's that jumping in that's hard for me. Well, to me, it's like, bless you. Thank you. To me, you get to a point where sometimes you're like, oh, everyone's going to the strip club, but you're like at one a.m. like, oh, the FOMO.

I'm not a 3 a.m. guy anymore. And the trouble just raised the stage. Yes, yes. And I'll tell you what, when I wake up, I wake up at 8 8 30 a.m. I do a bunch of pushups. I jog down I went for a run. I meditate. I'm texting with some buddies. I go to a meeting. I get here. I smoke a cigar by noon. I've had a day and I feel like a million bucks and everyone comes struggling in. I mean, I'm gonna do Rosa blew a couple guys., I've, I've lost 300 bucks and I think someone else lost a thousand bucks and whatever. Yeah. And I remember everything I said. Right.

I remember every single moment of every conversation. And it's a lot of perks to not drinking. It's nice. I slept for eight hours. Oh, my Lord. Didn't toss. Didn't turn. Just woke up and I watched some college football and good on you. Yeah. It's a nice way to live. But you know, 11 o'clock, I'm like, that makes sense. And you're you're on a good, uh, what do you call that? The schedule? Yeah. And also the hang gets worse. Like we're in or whatever you call it the artist's green room and Everyone's standing and loud what oh, yeah, everyone's coming over going and also the thing that at nighttime is people want to fucking network Whereas in the daytime everyone's just kind of like what are you doing today? Yes

It's a little more low energy and the shame spiraling I've seen out here It's only been what what are we on day two day three day two. Yeah, I'm unbelievable two and a half Yeah, I know we're like halfway through the festival. Okay, so I think more than halfway It's a little more than halfway, but still yeah, that feels there's a long way to go a little more than halfway, but still. Yeah, that feels there's a long way to go. A lot of people are leaving tonight and tomorrow, or so. Oh, really?

Yeah. That sucks. Okay, but my point is, I wake up and I'm like, what have I done? I didn't eat all that vodka. I don't remember the last two hours. How did I get home? That whole thing.

So you have that shame. I'm 40 years old. I got to get my act together. And then I talk to another guy. I'm not going to say who. He got all cooked up. He's like, I never do coke. I did a ton of rails. I've hooked up with two hookers They took my money. I yelled at him. We got to a fight the police were in contact

It we got nothing happened, but it was a whole thing and I'm like he's like I felt so bad It's one of like holy shit. I can't I felt bad. I can't imagine what the fuck kind of spiral you went through mentally. Yeah, it's just no, it's no good and it's not sustainable. No, it's the thing. And the story out of it, I guess. Yeah, I guess I was just talking about that with, with Louis after Louis cats, after our live pod. He's like, don't you miss those days and you don't get any more stories. I'm like, do I miss the days of a 300-pound woman

sucking my dick while she's taking a fucking piss? And my buddy is fucking a grandmother at the same time? Well, I mean, it's a listening laugh here. It's a great story, but the short answer is no. Sure, sure. And you got the story and then you move on. I got the story and there's other stories now I got left for reaching for butter in his pocket. That's a good tale. Yeah boy. Can't believe it's not better But yeah, you know, I don't know we went off on that we would turn the stern into mindful metal jacket over here Oh, yeah, well, you know the anxiety is real and maybe I got a taste of it and I got I got horned up for a little By the way, check I got a plug the I and I got, I got a horned up for a little and an anxiety-tuck. By the way, check, I got a plug, I don't plug anything. By the way, I got to the end of Rogan, three hour show,

and I'm like, oh, by the way, I have a new special. He's like, great. I never even got to talk about it. Funny is that, it's the whole point of doing it. Oh, that's what I was gonna say earlier, but the Tom Dustin movie, that's why I brought up Rogan. That's why I brought up Rogan was, I made this documentary about Tom Dustin.

We were talking about how funny he is. It's good to get a little buzz going. Sure. And I brought it up on Rogan, we were talking, how funny he is. It's good to get a little buzz going. Sure. And I brought it up on Rogan. We were talking and then he's like, well, play a little bit. Well, I'm the podcast. Play a little bit of the movie.

And he's saying to the movie and I was like, what? Who? I don't have the clips. I got to get the food. And so then Rogan's talking and I'm like trying to find an email. I'm texting my producer.

Oh my god. And then I was like, I can't find it. And he's like, I'll just tweet it when it comes out. And I was like, this God, fuck my producer. Oh my god. And then I was like, I can't find it. And he's like, eh, I'll just tweet it when it comes out. And I was like this, God, fuck my ass. And damn. Till I turn blue. Well, any other show you got it, you're at your shit prep, you got your clips ready to go, you know,

and they go, they throw to it, you know? But this show is all wacky and there's a spaceship behind him and he's high. So yeah, I don't blame you. No, we were talking about aliens raping Biden. I didn't think, oh, that's not a loose. That was a little libberido. I didn't think we were gonna fucking show my movie.

But then I talked to Patrick Holbert, who's the editor and DP on the film, the co-producer. Sure. He was running a bank in the 40s. He was like, yeah, you can't just show the movie. It's not done. And I was like, I know, but I went over and he's like, no, you can't just show the movie. It's not done. And I was like, I know, but I wouldn't have. And he's like, no, you can't have that.

So give a camera. Get one clip, get one clip, cook it, and then tweet that one to him. I'll get a tweezer. I don't know what the fuck you call it. Teezer, a sizzle. I'll get a trailer. Yeah, there you go.

I'll get a trailer, and I'll move into it because I'm quitting showbiz. No, I'll send him the trailer, he'll post it, whatever. This movie's got to be big. Mark my words. I loved it. I'm quitting showbiz. No, I'll send him the trailer, he'll post it, whatever. This movie's gotta be big, mark my words. I loved it, I saw a little snippet. Anyways, I wanted to plug Mindful Metal Jack, I just recorded while the Katie Hanigan you popped in. Barely.

It's a great, yeah, no, you're all over it. Watch tune into the Katie, you'll see, Mark. Two hours in. It's a big episode, but I gotta get better at plugging. I suck at plugging. I'm not gonna plug either, every clip I post, I get the, you were in England? No one told me and I'm like, are you kidding? I was promoting like a motherfucker.

Believe me, I mean, I got, I got people going, hey, finally didn't Rogan, good on you. And I'm like, I've done nine episodes. I've spent 14 hours in that goddamn studio. Jamie and I are dating. Yeah, Jamie, oh, it's so funny, because everything is Googlable. You know, they're like, you were here?

I'm like, yeah, Googl it. You first up doing Googleable. You know, they're like, you were here, I'm like, yeah, Google it. You first started doing Rogan. You could Google how many times I did it. I know. It's all on the magic box there. It is weird to think I've spent eight hours of my life in that studio, or more than eight hours, actually, yeah, 10 probably.

Woo, we, anyway. I don't know, I guess we could start to wrap up. I don't know how long we've been doing it. We got to cut 11 minutes out of the middle of the puck. I think that was about three minutes of whacking it. Maybe two, three. Oh, yeah, five minutes. Oh, we're after five minutes. The bad was two minutes. What put on the picture on? I'm down with that. Hey, wait, really? I don't know. Okay, we'll talk about it. We went off of the rails a little bit. Um, alright, where are you gonna be? What do you got? What the?

I don't even know where to- Do this up your ass and see if it gives you a colon cancel. Oh, tonight the Grammar C. Don't let us forget to plug that. Grammar C. Let's plug it. Plug it. Are you garbage?

What a lineup. Both are you garbage guys? And Chris D. Grammar C. Fucking tonight. That's a huge lineup. Bang for your buck. It's gonna sell out. Get your tickets. It's going to sell out, get

your tickets. Come on by. All right, what were you going to say? What day you're going to play something? Well, so I got this theater tour, cooking and everything's selling really well. We even had it some shows. Fuck yeah. One city is like two tickets. What does that mean? Is it Vegas? It's Oklahoma City, which I've done before and sold out the club added shows, but this, this theater run, it's just something about it. I don't know if there's a drought or inflation or something happened to Oklahoma City bombing. Well, certainly that's not a huge market. There's only one professional sports team that got it three years ago, whatever, okay, 10, 15, whatever. It's not a huge city. It's not one of the major markets.

And it's not as cool. And that's a place you're like, nobody ever comes here. Thank you. They might not be getting the word. I don't think they have TikTok yet or whatever. But I've done the club. Yeah.

How long ago did you do it? Two years. I don't know, it's just weird to see doing great, doing great, zilch, doing great, doing great, doing great, doing great, doing great. I had something off, something's off. Yeah, I don't know. I've never had this before.

Did you make a Native American joke or a cowboy joke? Oh, you know what? Did you say Oklahoma? Oh, that's not bad. Just want to open for Burt at Oklahoma City Arena. I had this last time I was here, I bombed, but you guys have seen a worse bombing, and they booed me. Ah, that could be something.

That could be something. I never even thought of that. Yeah. That was, you know, 20,000 people going, ugh. Yeah, maybe that's it. I guess. It's a bad tragedy. Yeah, yeah, most tragedies are bad.

And McVeigh, yeah, I can point. Well, the Shakespearean ones are good. Yeah, yeah, most tragedies are bad. And McVeigh, yeah, good point. Well, the Shakespearean ones are good. Yeah, true, true. I mean, I'd never read them. No. Doth knew if no, oh, shut up, you fucking queer. Yeah, I find them a little overrated. You fucking do it.

But yeah, all right. So yeah, go to the club. I think it's gonna pick up. Oklahoma City, what's the date? Hmm. Two weeks. It's a Saturday, October 13th. October 13th.

Get yourself down to O.K.C. and suck that Norman Cockbase. Yeah, just to have just a nonomily. Yeah, just give it a lick. Tutsi Pop lick. Come on down there and what's the website? Mark Norman Comedy.com. And get in there, get there fast, and then take it slow.

And I'm in Philly this week in my last big week and for the baby, October 5th through the 7th. And those tickets are mostly gone, and then I plugged it on Rogan. So now you're really up against it, so act fast. And then November, I'm doing a date by my baby's 18 days old. Wow.

I'm gonna press precedent to start probably. How about that? Is that Philly Helium? What do you got there? Philly Helium is this week in October 5th through the 7th and then DC Improv. Oh. I believe we're pro rating it just to do Friday Saturday

because I don't want to be gone for three days as I have a baby. I'm one of these guys now. Chocolate sit tag. November 17 and 18 DC Improv. And then I think to Coleman, Gianni, where I got a lot of time off now. Check out my Feminal jacket. I'm doing a really nice podcast over there. CQ, the legend on. Oh, I was

at. It was good. It was fun. Soar, listen to it. He was like, oh man, that was great. I listened to my butt. I'll listen. I didn't see cues on. All right. Give it a listen. I will do. Check it out. Subscribe to my YouTube. The part of the specials are out there, of course. And yes yes specials YouTube YouTube some Netflix stuff give it a whirl folks and thank you to Austin and Natalie Well Austin didn't do anything, but thank you Natalie for doing this for us and figuring out how to send this to a producer Would be awesome. See you at the nugget Y'all get so much, you got me. you you