Tuesdays with Stories! - #540 Gaza Strip Mall

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

It’s a kooky, loosey goosey Tuesdays straight from the couch of Joseph Albert List! Mark shows up late to talk: movie extremists, Ozzy, Joe’s cup of genocide, South African Reddit attacks and more! Our Stuff: - patreon.com/tuesdays Sponsors: - Support the show and get 15% off your Raycon order plus free shipping. Head to https://www.buyraycon.com/TUESDAYS - Try Blue Chew for free at https://www.bluechew.com, promo code TUESDAYS - This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/TUESDAYS and get on your way to being your best self. - Support the show and shake up the Super Bowl. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code TUESDAYS. New customers can bet $5 to get 200 instantly in bonus bets.

Hey Mark, fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do. Great. Good to be here. Welcome to Tuesdays with... Stories. Hit her in the face with a surfboard. And then the duck fell out of his bag.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Surf's up. And she didn't even flush. Knock knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe List. Yeah! This is Tuesdays with stories, everybody. Nah, that's terrible.

This is supposed to be cheesy. My radio is spitting at me. Here we go, baby. We're back in the basement. I just realized we're on opposite sides. They're going to shit. Should we flip? No, let them shit.

All right. I feel like Garth down here. Which by the way, everyone says these are the best episode. There's like whole theories. There's just like, what do you call it? Pages of breaking down how couch is good, chair is bad. Number one with a bullet, no chuck. Two, nothing falling off the wall, no scary neighbor. That's a couple of things cooking here.

Yeah, there's a new neighbor upstairs. Uh-oh. Asian? How'd you know? I smelled it. Oh boy. Nah, I'm just kidding. Well, it's good to be here, folks.

I can't even know what that smells like. It's scary because, you know, I got all the roommates in, I booked all the roommates, and then the landlord, the last guy I had was Rana. And this time around the landlord was like, I'll find someone. It does about its finest. Which by the way, Rana Na Na, my guy, my homie, my ace, my number one man. Hebe. I hope he's okay. This will come out a few weeks from now.

He'll be over it. But today, he was texting me in the AM. He goes, ah, Alan's going to see Alan, our lovely therapist. I haven't seen him in four months. Same, big Al. We're coming back. We love you, Al.

I'm going to see him Thursday. There you go. But he goes, yeah, I hate that he moved his office. I'm like, I know I missed the Upper West Side. He could walk through Central Park. He could walk back through the park. I like a park walk. Love park, good for therapeutic.

It's conducive. Absolutely, I love the park, god damn it. Rosa Parks. So, yeah, I don't care for it, but. Little pushy. Get the back, bitch. Woo, we're back. I threw Hunter out of the bus.

Make sure to take that out, of course. But anyway, so he goes, yeah, yeah, he moved it. He moved the therapy. And I go, I know it's such an annoying part. I said, annoying part of the city. Oh, that Union Square area. Yes. Okay.

So I say that. And then he goes, yeah, it's crazy. And then he texts and goes, just a couple hours later, he's like, I'm furious. Fuck Allen. Fuck him for making me come to the office. This is crazy. And I go, geez, well, I go, at least you have somewhere to talk about this anger with. And he goes, I don't, I missed the appointment because not unlike you, he's like, I got, I was on the train. I had train mishap. And he goes, I ended up getting off because I, in Brooklyn, the train just stopped. And I said, Brooklyn. And he goes, yeah, you know, ever since he moved the office to Brooklyn. And I go, Brooklyn, I go wrong

left. I ride. He didn't move to Brooklyn. And then I just see the three dots. And I go, Oh no. And he writes what? Oh, and I go, no, no, you got the wrong. It was like Kramer with the, uh, the latex. I'm like, nah, you're way off. No, it's Manhattan. And he goes, Oh my God. Cause he typed in pipes. Maybe I shouldn't give the address. Don't give the ad, but pick it up. Maybe we could bleep that. 47 fifth Avenue. Oh, he went give the address. Don't give the ad, but pick it up. Maybe we could bleep that. 47 Fifth Avenue.

Oh, he went to the wrong. And he typed in, there's a Fifth Avenue in Brooklyn, but don't you think, and I understand you type it into Google Maps, whatever comes up first, you just click. It says Brooklyn, that's New York City. I see. But also Fifth Avenue, if someone says Fifth Avenue, they mean Fifth Avenue, New York.

Yeah, and you guys had a chit chat about the office moving. It never came up, Union Square, 14th Street, whatever it is. That never popped in, the Convo. No, because what I said played into it, because I said, I know it's such an annoying part of town. He looks it up and it's Barclays Center. And he's like, this is an annoying part of town. Oh, wow.

I think he blames me, frankly. Well, Al, frankly. But I wouldn't go, if Al was in Brooklyn, I wouldn't go. Like, that would be the end of that relationship for me. No offense, big Al. But the anger you're going to cause from going to Brooklyn is now going to ruin my therapy. I wouldn't go to Brooklyn to see my best friend in the world.

Oh, I'll do that. I'll move in there. Shit. Sorry, I forgot about that. Cut move in there. Oh, shit. Sorry, forgot about that. Cut that out. All right. Keep it in. When's the move? Do you live there?

What's going on here? It's a whole to do. I'd start to think you didn't buy a house. Yeah, I'm starting to think so too. But we get in there in March. March. We're buying paint. We're getting light fixtures.

Yeah, we're actually into the nitty gritty now Well, we got wood we got pipes we got plaster, but we're finally getting into the the aesthetics now When did you purchase this thing cuz I feel like it was odd five 78 was 9-11 We bought things were low and then the Jews tunneled in, the whole thing's ruined. But we're getting that puppy at March, I'm going to be all over that shuffleboard court. So what happens with the current place you're living in?

That I'm renting. Oh, nice. You got any takers? No, but it's a sweet locale, so I think it'll be scooped up too sweet. Sweet in your eyes, that's the worst location. I can imagine God it's just garbage and hobos. It's cook central don't get me wrong But people like the village of right by the train right by the clubs right by McDougal. It's a hot spot I guess so hot hot hot not well what was that? What happened to you by the way?

We're supposed to podcast three and a half hours ago Well, I pulled a run on I thought Alan was at Harlem No, I got on the queue the queue used to go here Did it not the queue went here in like 1988 when I moved here? I see it hasn't come here and I'm gonna say Eight years. No, give me four. Can you look that up? It's gotta be it's gotta be seven years I'm going six Well, I mean the the the upper East sideline has been open for five years. I'm going six. Well, I mean the Upper East Side line has been open for five years. That's true. Yeah. Well, here's what's a cum-guzzler is also you're on I don't give your add away, please but you're on

We'll say 46 have okay On the R which is also on the yellow line, there's a 46th Street. And I'm like, God, I almost got the R on accident at one point, then I get on the Q, because the Q used to come here. And QAnon. And I got on that fucker, and I'm sitting there and just looking at my phone, talking to people,

and then I'm like, everybody's getting off. It's like an exodus, like an Auschwitz. So we're getting off the train, and I'm like, what the hell, where's my luggage? My grandmother's dead. And I'm like, why am I getting off here? Oh, must be something we're wrong with the train. Last stop, everybody off. And then it's only going back down.

So. See, this is the problem though, and nobody rocks out more than me, but you gotta be aware. Yeah, especially with the hobos and the crazies, because this happens to Matt Wayne every time he comes here. My pal, my guy, my guy, M. Dubs, is he's rocking out. We like to rock and roll. So he gets to Queensboro and they go, this

train will be running express to a story of Boulevard and he doesn't hear the announcement. So that happens sometimes. What are you going to do? Well, that doesn't hurt to go back down. It's one thing I was like, maybe I'll Uber and put me through Randall's Island. That's how high up you are. You're on 96th Street. You're up in Canada.

I know. So I had to go back down, then cut over, and then I, not gonna lie, I got back into the rocking out, the Matt Wayne, and I went to Broadway and I had to go back one. Oh Broadway you can get off. I could have walked it. Yes, but I go to Broadway I thought you were 46 equidistant between 46 than the broad what do we got for a dancer over there? 2016 that is eight years ago. Wow, okay on the on the

2016. That is eight years ago. Wow. Okay. On the, on the note, did I say eight years? I think you said eight. Maybe I did. I think it did. I'm pretty impressed with myself. Well, it's newly 2024. It's like seven years ago, seven, but they would accept Alex. Rebecca would say, we got it. That's true. Sorry. Well, he's dead. That's true. All right. Who's your favorite Canadian all time? Oh, right norm. Oh, I've got a new one I was hoping you'd say Hanley. What's less than he saw Phil Hanley by the way I might throw him on the beacon. I think I saw it. I had kill. He's great Yeah, yeah, I haven't seen him since October of 87. I think I saw him at a show and I could have sworn He gave me the uh-oh when he ran the other way, but I caught him. He doesn't run

Well, he gave me like that. Oh, maybe I keep if I walk faster. He won't notice way, but I caught him. He doesn't run? Well, he gave me like the, oh, if I keep, if I walk faster, he won't notice me, but I caught him. Oh boy. But, nah, we're cool, we worked it out, but, are you here Saturday? Probably. No, I'm gone, I'm gone. I got the corporate, I got a big corporate dental thing. Boy, Mr. Indy Rock,

sobriety, Deepak Chopra is now Corporate Johnny I've done six corporate gigs and I'll take more of it by the way I eat a fucking bag of farts every time Join the club. I can't believe the word doesn't spread I've never done one of these and not eaten a pile of shit same same here and you know my story I went into the one in Toronto, big bucks, big money, and the guy goes, do this bit, I'm a huge fan, meet my son watch you, all night, I hate my wife, do this bit, do that bit,

and I did him, bombing, and he's looking up at me in the front row going, what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm like, I'm doing the bits you picked, and they're still bombing. No, it's brutal, And I have this thing too. And we all have it. I know everyone's going to relate.

You relate is that I got to do this clean set. They booked it in February of 91. They were like, we know how funny you're going to be. We want you to do a corporate gig. And I said, you got it. It's squeaky clean, 45 minutes. And I'm like, I don't do that. But I can piece together all my material

from the course of my life Yeah, and I just keep not doing it. What do you mean like memorizing old? I know I'm just gonna show up and be like got you got me. It's like a homework assignment I just can't bring myself to do it. I know exactly what you mean I ended up doing it the day of that's because the pressure kicks in well That's what I try to do in in Vegas with that dental gig if you recall okay that went okay but I showed up and he was like we played all your dentist jokes oh and the dad at the last second he said you can go rated I'm going rated R so I went up there and I was like I blow

my father on Christmas my mother eats me out for Easter yeah they're like oh but this gig there's no way I'm getting that again. No, no. Can you say what it's for? What is it? Ray? Raytheon? What are we talking here? No, it's a dentist. It's another denti. Whoa. I'm I'm I kill with dentists. I'm the dentist comedian with those chompers. I mean, that'd be like if I'm the NBA booked a midget. They're going backwards. I'm telling you, they like the jokes. And they, by the way, every time I do it, they all hit me a card. I'd be in like we can take care If you want they'll like don't talk to him get these I got 48 fucking Optetricians whatever it's called up there. Well, you're a little torn because if you get the teeth fix you might not get the gigs

No, the gigs are about the bits not Not just looking for any Steve Busce. I'm gonna do a gig you gotta have the bit That's true. They would have gotten a British comic by now. It's about the bits, Jerry. But the teeth. Oh, right, right, right. You got the dentist job. I feel like with the teeth, I can get the Buscemi gig.

I've never been casted because of the teeth. Oh. But you fix the, that's what Buscemi said. He's like, I stand out. That's a good point. It's like being the precious chick. Plus it gets the algorithm going. Because every time I post a I post a video people like why haven't you fixed your teeth? You dirty piece of shit. You scumbag you make me throw up. No, let it ride

Let it ride or die baby, you know Jennifer Gray of Ferris Bueller fame of course and and blowing Car crash fame killing a child but She an adult that's child, but she could. I think an adult. That's true, but I think it was a kid. Next, it a little sadder. Looking up.

Give it a goog, but she got. I can't believe one adult, sorry, driving. What? It was at least one adult who was driving. No, I'm saying they ran over a kid. They ran over a kid? Yeah, yeah, they didn't blow a kid. Oh, I thought they hit a car.

No, I think they ran over a child. Oh, my word. Can we get a ruling on this from the judges? Call in, if you know. I thought it was a car wreck head-on collision wrong side of the road head. Hey. Because it was in England.

No, is that right? Yeah, it was in the UK. Oh, top of the head to you. Well, that's Ireland, fuck. But he was getting a little roady and then he ran over the child. Prince Harry, I don't know. But either way, she got a nose job, never worked again.

Exactly, I don't wanna be Jennifer Gray, I wanna be Joey Blue. Gay. Two people, that's what I said. No children. 28 and 63 both women. 28 and 63 both women. 28 and 63 both women. Both women.

Okay, well that's good, two less brads. Yeah, and the queue was built six years ago. But, you're on it with the facts. Oh yeah. You're off it. I'm off it. I'm on it. That's a good supplement.

Mary Muffet. Eating her curds in a way. All right, so. What's carried, what's away? Well, there's a will, there in a way. All right, so. What's a way? Well, there's a will as a way, but you said Miss Muffet. Mary Muffet? Well, I think there's a Muffet who's the victim in the Silence of the Lambs.

I don't know her name's Mary though. I'd have to get a fact check on that. But there's definitely a Muffet. All right, well, either way, we should get a Muffet. But you get the teeth comments. I get lobes all day. I'm Lisa Lobes out here. It's just what's up with his ear lobes?

What a freak? What a psycho? He needs to get that snipped. What's going on there? You got like the Paltrow. Who's that? Quite a Paltrow. It's very similar.

Is that right? Oh yeah, big time. What? Take a peek. I've never heard of the Paltrow. I think that's why she quit the business. They said, get out of here. You got nasty lobes.

Unless he's in Goop. By the way, after a couple episodes ago, once again, I get the ball. He's bald. He's balding. I'll show you a headshot from any fucking time period. Really? This is the forehead I'd done been born with. That's a fiver, but you've, yeah, I'm more balding than you. You got that straight. They're watching us two going, look how bald this is.

I'm like, what am I out of my mind? This guy's got these pubes taped to his forehead. You got a billboard cooking. I'll give him that. But I mean, you could, uh, you could audition or, uh, be advertised. You got that straight. But, uh, yeah, that little gigs. There you go. What do you got on the, uh, Miss Moffitt. I don't know. Okay. Sounds of the lambs. It's not Mary. But let's just assume her name is Mary Moffat. Got it.

But I got the Moffat. Okay. Moffat. Buffet. Jimmy Buffett. Anyways, you made it here. Yeah. Sorry.

I'm late. I hated it here. I'm here. I'm quit my phone died. I was just like this the whole time. I'm so bored and I ran through all the battery. We could probably juice you up. Hey, I love it juice

The old show up at the phone dead guy. Well, it's not dead. It's getting there though I got a few few bars, but so is the baby upstairs. Yeah two floors up One flight up is the Asian new guy. It's funny when a baby. It's like a celebrity. I'm like is the baby here Oh, he's the baby don't piss off the baby. It's like J. Lo you can't look it in the eye. It's funny when a baby, it's like a celebrity. I'm like, it's the baby here. Don't wake the baby. Don't piss off the baby. It's like J.Lo. You can't look it in the eye. It's exciting. He's up there sleeping. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At least you don't hear the screaming. No. I hear it. Oh, when I'm trying to sleep. Yeah. Last night. I hate insomnia. You're just staring at the ceiling. It's the worst. And the weird thing is your body needs sleep, but it won't do it. I'm like, I'm tired, you hate my awakeness,

let me go to bed. Yeah, just the head spin it. What's hardest, because now Sarah sleeps in the other room with the baby, because it's like, why should we both deal with the no sleep? Sure. But my thing about sleeping before was

Sarah would always stay up later than me. So I would fall asleep knowing that if I can't sleep, there's somebody next to you who's also awake. Cause don't you find the worst part of not being able to sleep is the isolation. Everybody's sleeping and you are not. No, that doesn't bother me. What do you mean? I kind of like the isolation. Oh, I think that's why I'm up. I'm like, Oh, a little meat time. But I'm talking about that's different. That's,

I want to be up cause everyone's, I'm talking about when you desperately want to need to sleep and everyone else is sleeping and you're like, yeah. Oh yeah. That's a bitch. If you're desperate and want to kill yourself because you can't fall asleep and you know you're going to get up early and you have no sleep and someone else is awake. You're like, well, at least you're awake. I'm awake. That's true. We could bake. You know what I mean? Have you had that feeling? I do. I know exactly. When you look at that person sleeping next,

you almost resent them. Of course. You're like, what the fuck are you trying to prove here? The mind fuck with like insomnia and stuff is that thing of like, like you said, it feels so simple. My eyes are closed. Let's do it already. Kiss me baby drift But there's no you can't physically fall asleep. It did not fall asleep say them It's almost like you've never had this problem, but not getting a boner. You're going come on. I'm horned up I got a naked hooker right here. What are we doing? We're ready to go She's paid for spot and and ready and wet. I can't get cookin'. By the way, you know about arrows.com? Arrows. E-R-O-S.com.

Is that a Native American thing? It can be, if that's your pleasure. Oh. This is a big high end prostitutist. You heard of this, Lex? I heard about it on the regs. Lewis was talking about it. Okay.

High end confirmed prostituity ladies. Really? Oh yeah. You can pick and choose and it's like check marked, Normand, awful. This is them. And... Come again? Like it's not like, you're not getting catfish. Oh, okay. This is like, they've confirmed, this is them and they suck you off and fuck you for about a, you know, it's like a grand. or higher. All right. And arrows. Pick your preference. Oh yeah. You can go trans, Asian boy, lady boy, black boy, any kind of boy you can want. That's a lot of boys. Uh, ladies. Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. Great. But, but yeah, arrows.com new spot. Arrow. I'll take the arrow.

Wow. I don't know what made me think of that. No, good to know arrows. Well, that's a good plug. It's spotter. It's William arrows. Yeah. Send us a free fucking dame. Arrows. All right. Yeah. E R O S.com. I was thinking like the no, all right. Yeah, eros.com. I was thinking like the... No, no, eros. Oh, I don't know what it means. I think it's a Greek thing.

Eros, like Eros was a god of hooker or something. Yeah, sounds right, but you said something that made me think of that, sex, hooker. Oh, I was saying, it's when you kick it off. Oh, the boner! The boner, and you got a dead hooker right here. I'm ready to go, she's warm still. Let's get this cooking Well, I have had this where I'm making love to a lady or a fella whoever or inclusive here and you come first

She hasn't come yet. So you got to try to you try to keep it going. So I have had that where it's like Physiologically it's going down. Yes, but I'm trying to look at her pussy or butthole or big toenail and just try to keep it hard Yeah, but it just it's like physiologically it's going down. But I'm trying to look at her pussy or butthole or big toenail and just try to keep it hard. But it's just, it's going down, there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing you can do with a clock's ticking. I've had the greatest moment of my life. I'm plowing the wife, she's on top.

And for something, if a woman's on top, I got the tits, I got the, she's doing all the work, I jizz in two seconds. Really? Oh, with a woman on top, I don't know what it is. I feel like it's squish all the work I jizz in two seconds really oh with a woman on top I don't know what it is. I feel like it's squishier. It's tighter. It's wetter. It's gooier. I'm done That's fascinating because I I've never come with a woman on top ever in my whole life really Yeah, it's fun the tits, but I think I feel bad. I think I'm there's a Mental clock ticking of like she's gonna stop doing that at some point. She'll get tired, hates this.

And your dick can break. So I'm worried about my dick breaking. Oh yeah. Bob, she weaves. Forget about it. Wow, I've heard of a coffee break, but this is ridiculous. But so she's going to town on me and I blow it, I lose it, but I don't tell her.

So now you're doing that weird thing where you're trying to hold in an orgasm in your face like, I don't want to know that I'm blowing, but I'm blowing. And so I'm like, oh, cold out, you know? But I'm freaking out. And then I know I have T minus two and a half minutes before that thing turns into an old slinky. Two and a half minutes. Mine goes up to eight seconds.

Oh, I can ride it out a little bit. Okay. So it's kind of like a car where you're like, oh, I'm coasting. I'm downhill. It's out of gas, but I'm coasting. You put it in neutral. Yeah, yeah.

And she won't roll over. But I'm holding on to dear life. And then she's like a minute in, she goes, I'm coming. And I'm like, oh, that's perfect. So now she's loaded, I'm loaded, we're ready to go. I have had that before back in missionary when I come, I try to sustain, then she comes and you're like, great.

When you come at the same time, that's really something but very rare. It's like a bald eagle. It's like two keys with a torpedo. It feels, you feel, you never felt closer. Yeah, you hug after and you go, oh, I wish I knew your name. I would like to make love today.

Really? A few days. Yeah. What can you do? Not into it? Well, we got the baby and then she got her period back finally after like four months. And I guess if you have a four months or whatever,

13 months, you get the period back. It comes back like bigger than ever. It's like Hulk Hogan or something it really Whatever explodes. Do you see Hulk Hogan? There was a guy who got flipped over in a car and and some guy pulled him out of the car and helped him It was Hulk Hogan. No kidding. Pull that give that a goog. Okay Pull that, give that a goog. Oh, go-

Bump, bump, bump, bump, baa-na-na-na-ow, when it comes crashing down and it hurts and say car crash. I gotcha, brother, oh yeah. Hello there, folks. This episode of Tuesdays with Stories is brought to you by Raycon. Raycon! Searching for the perfect Valentine's gift, Raycon has you covered. Their everyday earbuds are a gift that your partner and loved

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Oh, I hated this movie. It's a big mess. It doesn't make any sense and he was excited to see it he's a wrestling guy and a lover of film and He just was like don't pay and I was like, ah disappointing that He's a wrestling guy and a lover of film. And he just was like, don't pay. And I was like, ah, disappointing. That sucks. Then Luke Moniz posted a meme. It's funny because it's like my two guys that I opened for me.

Luke Moniz posted a meme where it was like a fish making a sad face. And he wrote me leaving the iron claw. And I was like, oh, yeah, I heard it suck. I thought he was saying I'm leaving sad. And he was like, sucked. It's my favorite movie of all time. He's like, I was sad. He's like, oh yeah, I heard it. Sucked. I thought he was saying I'm leaving sad. And he's like, sucked. It's my favorite movie of all time. He's like, I was sad.

He's like, you got to see it. He's like, and he said, I know you and I know you're going to love this. And Matt Wayne said, I know you. I know you're going to hate it. So it almost feels like I have to see it and whichever one is right. That's the permanent opener. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Wow. That was a lot riding on this

So yeah, you now dying to hear your take and it's got like 90 when Matt said that I was like, oh, it must be a piece of shit It's got 91% rotten tomatoes Very people a lot of people yeah, you have you seen it or no? No, no, but I got a theory on this now many people critical about the Ric Flair performance I think some of it's out of order if you're a wrestling purist I don't know I want to hear the theory the theory is It's like these comic book queefs. You know these these oh, I love Hawk dick or whatever. I love green green arrows

Dot com whatever it is There's one flaw in the origin or the costume isn't right and the hair is a little off and I go Ah the movie sucks fuck it burn it, kill everybody, I haven't gotten laid. This is what Matt Wayne is doing. He's doing like, oh, I love wrestling. Mona's probably don't even love wrestling, so he just saw it as a movie. That's true about Mona's not liking wrestling,

but Matt is just not that kind of guy. Sometimes, there's a lot goes into mood and feeling of a movie. You go see a movie and I've had it million times. I'm famous for this. I've seen a movie and I'm like, that is the best movie I ever saw in my life because I was getting Road Head from Jennifer Gray.

Eat my M&Ms and then I watch the second time and I'm like, yeesh. And vice versa. Where I'm like, that's a piece of human garbage. And then I watch it again and I'm like, well, I swung and missed that movie. It's the best movie ever. So that's why you guys are so hard with the critiques.

You swing hard this way, you swing hard that way. Love, hate, like Ronon's like, I hated the holdovers. It's the worst piece you should have ever seen. I'm like, you can't do that. Not that's like when people go Jennifer Aniston, gross. Well, you can't go gross. A dead lady with her legs open is gross. This is Jennifer Aniston.

You can go, I don't find her attractive, but you can't go gross. For the record, I hate it, holdovers. He loved it. Ah, fuck me. Well, what can you do? But also speaking of Ranana Nanananan. Sure, he's still in Brooklyn, I think.

He texted me the other day, and we did an episode on the Irishman, Joe and Ron on Tuck Movies, and he talked about how it's the greatest film of all time. See the absolutes? Then he texts me the other day and he goes, I gotta tell you, I tried re-watching it. He's like, it's quite boring and the CGI is horrible. And I'm like, you just, what's that word that the kids do at the lamppost?

Reneged? Gaslight. I'm like, you just gaslighted all of America. Oh, yes. Because you're telling all of America this is Scorsese's best film and makes good fellas look like a pile of trash. And he's like, this is pretty boring. Yeah, yeah, you're telling all of America this is Scorsese's best film and makes good fellas look like a pile of trash And he's like this is pretty boring. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you know what? It's like it's like these bad journalists they go rock is dead

They gotta have a big headline, you know, and you're like well, I just went to a concert two days ago What are you talking about? The rock is dead. The rock is dead. It makes me crazy And I have this conversation with certain people I'm close to who are like nobody rocks anymore And I'm like no you're just not looking up the rock bands. There's plenty of people who are fucking rip. I'm Metallica still tours. I mean, there's old bands that are still rocking, but by the way, I'm going to see Foo Fighters

and the Pretenders at City Field. I can't wait. Whoa. But yeah, plenty of people still rock and there's plenty of new great bands that fucking rock. They're just not pop music anymore. That's what it is, it ain't pop. It's not the number one hit.

Right, right. But they rock, plenty of rock and roll happening. You, right now, you can go to New York somewhere and watch a guy with his foot on the monitor like, yeah, it's Josh out of my ears, but still. Well, why isn't it not pop? That's the part that's a little vexing. I think times change that goes back and forth,

up and down over and out. The pop, the skid-a-ba-boo, da-ba-doop, da-ba. I don't tell her Swift. I think it's huge. Yeah, she's the biggest thing. And people wanted to rock and rebel then, and I think they rock and rebel in different ways. I don't know.

And I think that's true. And also, your dad was in the rock. You're the dad now. So they go, I can't do that. Dad did it. I gotta go the other way. I guess. But some people, they love what their dad loved.

Yeah, yeah. I do like my mom. So I think people would also get what's given to them. You know, back, I think in the 60s and 70s, there wasn't as much like, Scoot-a-toot-a-toot, like whatever. They weren't doing like sound machines and drum machines. They needed raw materials.

And then you started to get Backstreet Boys works and the dance moves and whatever. Yeah. I don't know, yeah. Also, they don't push back on rock. Like when Mick Jagger's up there twerking and tweaking and he's got an album cover with his dong bulge. It was forbidden.

Forbidden. Right. So now it's like, oh, these white guys with long hair want to do this. Nobody cares, go do it. But then when some Nas X little Nas X goes Hey, I'm gonna put a crucifix in my pussy you go. Whoa, what's up with this? Right, be tuned to that but all but then that that negates the whole Taylor Swift thing because she's Apple Pie Yeah, she appeals to a lot of people. It's all splintered now. Yeah, there's just not anything

That's huge, but it is weird to think about like in 1971, you could hear like war pigs on FM radio. I know. I know. Those were the days. Yeah. War pig. What is that? War pigs is like, I don't know. Ah, no, it's... Pow, pow, pow. Yeah. Well, they were pushing back against Nam, against the man. Right. Just like witches at black masses. Oh, lord, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Suck on that, Swifties. Yeah, you suck, Swift. And then it cut to him and he's like, I got to make breakfast. Like, we're watching the Aussies or whatever the TV show was. Yeah, you suck, Swift. And then it cut to him and he's like, I got to make breakfast. Like we're watching the Aussies or whatever the TV show was. Which was huge. I remember doing Tuesday at the comic,

we would run downstairs to Zoom a Tex-Mex to all watch the Aus-Burnt. Everyone was like, quiet, quiet, it's coming on. It was hilarious. We did that with Jersey Shore, not because we liked it. It was just, it was such a phenomenon that you're like, I had to go see it. And was before YouTube was around so you just you caught it you didn't by the way about 11 comics had the joke that was like I've tried to watch the Osborne's

the subtitles on when Ozzy talked it just said we have no idea that was like a big joke yeah that was kind of a sad cat Williams made that good point of the guy goes, uh, the guy in pajamas, whatever, the black guy, the running back, Shay Shay. From what? The podcast with Kat Williams that got 40 million views. Oh, oh, Shannon Sharp. Shannon Sharp. I thought we were talking the Osborns.

I was like, who? I'm going into that. Okay, I see. So you got Shay Shay or Shannon. Shannon Sharp. Shannon Sharp, but sounds like a porn star. But he's going, so what about Kanye? He's nuts.

And then Cat Williams goes, yeah, he is nuts. So maybe we shouldn't be putting him on every show. It's kind of fucked up that we know this guy's a retard. And we're just like, here's a microphone. And then we get mad at him for saying crazy shit when we know he's crazy. Right. And I feel like that with Ozzy.

Right. He knows a little that with Ozzy. Right. He knows a little sad, like this guy belongs at a nursing home with a catheter up his ass and we're like, let's film you eating breakfast, breaking eggs and slipping on the stairs. But that's American, that's the whole thing. It's a freak show. I mean, TLC is a freak show. We don't have freak shows anymore in the tent.

We got, here's a 600 pound whore. Here's a midget clan. Here's a lady with 12 kids. Well that's how you get a president Trump. I guess so. Cause he's in there, be like, this guy's fat. He's like, oh, this guy's retarded. And they're like, put the camera on him.

This is gold. He's like, my dick, I got a huge, dick, I promised you. I know I have small hands. Look at these hands, Pocahontas. Right. Yuppa-dum-a-doo. And everyone's like, I'll I have small hands. Look at these hands, Pocahontas, yuppa-dumba-doo. And everyone's like, I'll vote for that guy. He's just like the fat lady and the Aussie.

We literally elected a reality TV star to run the country. It makes perfect sense. We're about to do it again. I'm embracing it. I'm like, here we go. It's gonna be fun. I mean, it's gonna piss. I'm not into politics, but I'm just already pre- go. It's gonna be fun. I mean, it's gonna piss, I'm not into politics,

but I'm just already pre-annoyed with the anger and the, oh, what are we gonna do? We got a protest and everybody's gonna be mad and make everything about race and gender and it's gonna be annoying. Well, here's the great, I mean, now this is just overtly political, but this is what's so funny about the Trump people, the Trump supporters,

they really think he's the antithesis of PC. Like it's going to get better. They don't realize the worst thing that can happen for cancel culture and political correctness, all the stuff we all hate is this fella getting back into office. Cause it's all a counter. They act like 2016 to 2020. We weren't dealing with political correctness when in reality that's when it was the worst. And him being out of office is just allowing people finally now to be like, maybe we could give a couple of specials to these fellows over here. Yeah. Good point. This is, he is not the answer to this. Having a, a republic, any, any president, but as

Louis said 15 years ago, like put John Kasich in, just get a regular Tom Dick or Harry, I'm conservative in there. All the political correctness stuff would quell a little bit. It wouldn't be so, but him in office makes everyone go, let's be, let's fucking get triplets in our son or whatever the fuck goes on there. Anyway, he's not the answer, you fucking dumb-dumbs. Look it, just look. That's a good point. Political correctness didn't get better

when he was in office. They got way worse and way more annoying and everybody was way angrier. Yes, and by the way, all the mask mandates and the fucking vaccines happened when he was president. It was the Trump vaccine, warp speed, captain. That's right, that's right. So don't be mad about the vaccines and go, we need Trump back. He was the vaccine

guy. He was the vaccine guy, but end of rant. Don't you think it's interesting that he was the vaccine guy and all these, you know, Kamala was like or Kamala was like, I'm not taking his vaccine. Oh yeah. And then a late, you know, two months later when it's Biden, she's like, put it in me. Oh yeah. She is a moron. She is a moron. So everybody's a moron, politicians suck, but I agree. Get the regular quiff in there. Put the K sick or the other guy, whoever. Just keep it moving. Keep it quiet. There is another guy at this point. I think they're all out. What about, uh, what's his face? RFK? RFK. He's running on the left. Isn't he a Democrat? I think he went down the middle of the pipe, but I think he said wanted to be a Democrat

He wanted to be but now he's independent Well, it's running. I don't know what happened. I think you know one knows anymore because it's all Trump all the time Yeah, and Haley whoever she is. Yes, she was bullied for being brown. I didn't even know she was brown She shouldn't have told me. Now I hate her. I'm just kidding. By the way, we're losing everybody, but I have a story that is sort of political. So maybe we should pad it.

Pad. You do a story, and then I'll come back around to my story because everyone's gonna be upset. I'm wearing a pad. But my god, the algo is gonna go nuts. These comments are gonna be insane. I'm sure I'm wrong and bald, and I got bad teeth, I'm a moron.

I hear the loops are bad. I get it. They're connected. No one will actually argue with what I said though. They'll just go, you got to stop reading whatever you read. Literally it's that vague. You need to stop listening to a guy. They don't even name who it is. They don't make an argument. Just a very broad, you're listening to the wrong people. Yes. Well, who are you listening to? Right? The right, do you have any argument with the points? No point. No point. And then even

if they do argue a point and then you counter it, they don't write back and they call you a homo or nah. Yeah. They move the goalpost, but whatever. I get this a lot on my videos. So I'll get like, I'll have a gay joke. I did a whole Stephen Hawking thing. And one guy goes, uh, I'm in a wheelchair, this isn't funny. And I go, maybe it's not funny to you. It's killing on the internet. Everybody's writing, every other person's writing, ha ha, smiley face, whatever.

Can we just do the, it affects you? You're in the joke kinda, it's about you kinda. That doesn't mean it ain't funny. Yes. That drives me crazy. Well, this is the thing that every single person on earth It's about you kind of that doesn't mean it ain't funny. Yes. That tries to be crazy Well, this is the thing that every single person on earth is Guilty of yes is that they hate all the political correctness all the people that are triggered And then they get triggered by the one thing that bothers them by the way, did you know this somebody sent me? There's a whole South African reddit. That's just us. Yeah. Did you know this? Somebody sent me, there's a whole South African Reddit. That's just us.

Did you know this South African? No, you go to Reddit's hyphen South Africa, whatever. I don't know how Reddit works, but there's a South Africa page. They got wifi. There is a 700. And that's why we're in trouble. There's a 750 comment thing. Some guy said it to me because he was all mad at me. Okay. Cause I said I would travel anywhere, but Africa and Middle East and he took it dead serious. I also said to you, do they have podcasts in Africa? And he wrote a three I should be fair. He did write back and apologize and be like, I'm an idiot. I'm tired. I'm stupid. But it was like a three paragraphs on how they do have podcasts. And then he sent me this. He's like, here's what people think of you in South Africa.

And it's your whole speech about the bachelor party or whatever it's called. Honeymoon. I confused that. So what was it? There it is. And it's a honeymoon. It's a whole clip from the show. And there's literally like 7,000 comments being like, these guys are pieces of shit. And he started it. This guy you're talking about. No, no, no. He was just mad at me. But then one of the comments is like two men that have, this is, we're watching two idiots who have never

left the country. And I'm like, I don't know if there's two people that have traveled more. Yeah. I just went to Mexico. I'm like, I don't know. I don't have to tell you. I've been all over the world. For Christ's sake. Yeah. And he said, he's like, what do you think? If you go to the Middle East, you're going to get bombed.

And I was like, I'm to the Middle East. I willing to bet more times than you. Yes. Anytime. And also not only have I been to the Middle East, don't act like you're not more likely to get bombed in the Middle East. Good point. So doubly incorrect. Yeah. I, I love the, again, the absolutes. These two people probably never left the country. So that's wrong. So now what? Should we listen to anything you say?

Can you say sorry? Can you retract that? What do we do here? Or do we just ignore it all? We're kidding. I mean, Lex's and Shambles look reading the comments. I mean, I'm like, is it about the lobes? We're kidding.

No, no, because we're ignorant pieces of shit. Right. The whole thing and the whole podcast, I'm going, they have mud in Africa. Do they have cars in Africa, they have McDonald's. And these people are like, where from Africa? I'm like, my wife is from Africa. I would love to go to Africa.

I'd love to go to Kilimanjaro in Egypt. And my whole in-laws are all from there. Arguably the smart guy who lives here in Elon Musk is from there. We're not unfamiliar with South Africa. I went there for a honeymoon. You think I went there because I didn't think it had electricity, but they're very upset. I mean, Lex is what do you got here? What is it? It's not good. I mean, they're really upset. It's not good. I also held the exact same shitty mic to his lips.

Oh yeah. Oh that's fun. Yeah, all right. I can live with that. No, they're very upset. Yeah, they're like, this is America. This is what America thinks. And I'm like, we're not representing America.

No. And also, yeah. I did go there and then I said what I saw. I'm not like sitting here going, this is what I think of Africa. I went to South Africa and was like, this is crazy. There was a bunch of power outages and I came back and I'm sure I shit on it as well,

but it's not perfect. I'm like, we're kidding. Also, you could pull up about 17 hours of us trashing Orlando, Tampa, Detroit, New York. I mean, half the show is me being like, I gotta get out of New York city. This place is a toilet. It's true, that's true.

Fuck you, fuck this town. Yeah. And they're upset. Yeah. But what are you gonna do with joking? It's a fucking comedy podcast. Wow. I think they act like,

I think these people think also that like, everything on the show is dead serious. And then when I travel, I go to, you know, Peru and I'm like, three dads, where, how come you're not watching Full House? Stay mos. I'm like, I get it, I go and I eat the food and you say hello and I bow and say hello. Yeah, you know what I mean?

I'm like in Peru. But yeah, but now of course, it's just so funny to, that was a real snappy, jappy, but it is weird to be like these guys are idiots are and like well, we're joking and you're taking seriously So who's the idiot? Yeah. Hey to each is a an old out. Oh Folks this episode is brought to you by better help keeping relationships healthy can be tough whether things are challenging at home Yikes at work. Mm work, or at school. What? Therapy can be a great tool to work through things.

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please play responsibly especially all you Tuesdays out there on behalf of boot hill casino and resort in Kansas 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction void Void in Ontario, bonus bets expired 168 hours after insuance. See DKNG.com slash football for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms and responsible gaming resources. Good gravy. You want to get into that story or I'm a little nervous. I'm tense. I'm scared they're going to the FBI is going to come through the window.

I'll try to tell the story as, uh, what's that called when you're neutral? I'll try to tell it as literally and diplomatically as humanly possible. You leaving my wallet? It was right up my ass. Oh, my wallet's gone. I wish it was gone. It was inside me. So I go, I love Starbucks corporate. I love it. I love the Starbucks. They got the great green tea. It rules. It's great. Fuck you. I love it. So addicted. Oh yeah. Absolutely. I go three times a day. Right now they're out of my tea, by the way,

and they don't get a ship until Saturday. It's like, it's ruining my life. It's all I'm thinking about. You know the shipment times. That's why I'm drinking it out of my fucking little adventurers out there Pacific Northwest where I'll be moving soon. There you go. Yeah. I mean, you've gotten every morsel out of that cup. Look, I got a lot of stickers. I'm a sticker guy. I love a sticker. I like a sticker. I'm a sucker for a sticker. Same. Stick a sucker. That's a good name.

Stick a sucker. Not bad. This is a stick up. So I go to Starbucks because they got the tea I like and they got the cup I like. I got mental problems. Oriental moon. It's called embers clouds and mist. That's an and mist. Whoa. Yeah. Got a whole bit about it. It's a whole thing. Sounds like a Star Wars movie. My father's game. So it's funny. it never hits. That's good. But anyways, I'm doing it anyways. So I go, I get my cup and then I go to roast and toast, which is two blocks up. Okay. A little car block up. It's a little coffee place. Are you getting coffee now? No, it's a, it's a, like the way you say coffee shop, but it's a diner. I see. It's like,

it's a bagel. You line up, you go, let me get an egg and cheese, a hash brown and, uh, my sister's ass and a pile of pubes. I'll see you later. Got it. I got a roast and toast. I'm pulling out their pubes. Yeah. I got my Starbucks cup. And next to me, there's just a couple of girl, 20 year old women. One's got a hijab, is that what I'm saying that right? A job. A job, I don't know what she does for work. She's taking our jobs. The other one has a Puerto Rican flag bandana.

Oh wow, these people love hats. They like their lids. And now I'm just painting a picture of course. One had real thick cat eye makeup, the Puerto Rican flag lean. Like, you know those little, and it of course. One had like real thick cat eye makeup, the Puerto Rican flag lean. Like out like the, you know the little. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was thick, it looked like.

It's like a raccoon. Camouflage, just smeared over there. Jesus. And I'm not thinking anything of it. They're just giggling, they're two ladies. I'm in my own head, I'm listening to whatever and just like this, waiting for my thing. I'm half awake, got the baby, you don't sleep,

the bullshit. Sure. So I'm sitting there and then they're in line ahead of me and they pay and they're just very giggly. Like you sign your name on the little thing and I saw they wrote just like a line and then a heart, heart, heart and that like made them die laughing. They're laughing so hard. I kind of looked over there and you just see like hearts on the signature thing and they're like, Oh, okay. Whatever. I'm jealous of these people, but I kind of looked over there and you just see like hearts on the signature thing and they're like So you're like, okay, whatever I'm jealous of these people but I don't want to write I know they're just having a great time and they're whatever and as they're leaving you hear like the

They're pushing the door out the lady says to me about you're there and I'm here because I'm next in line She says uh, enjoy your cup of genocide. And I go, a cup of genocide. She goes, fuck Starbucks, fuck genocide, free Palestine. Wow. And I went, oh wow, you're a moron. What, you said that? I said that, because she's doing it

as she's leaving, because she's tough. And I said, oh wow, what a moron. And she said, free Palestine. Fuck your genocide. She said your genocide, my genocide. She probably thought you were a big run on. She may have, which is, I can't, I don't even have to like describe

how bigoted and insane this was. She's just casting me. And evidently I didn't know that Starbucks is Netanyahu owns Starbucks. I did not know this evidently Starbucks. I went to Starbucks after and I was like, what's going on? They're like, you don't know what's going on. I'm like, I know what's going on in the Middle East. I don't know what Starbucks has to do with it. By the way, there's not a single Starbucks in Gaza. Really? Starbucks has nothing to do with any of this even in the Gaza strip mall

And so I don't know I don't know anything about This thing yeah, but evidently Starbucks is responsible for Genocide but it was just wild to be like your genocide enjoy your cup of genocide And by the way, if you're really upset about what's going on, isn't it minimizing to call my tea a cup of genocide? Isn't that kind of-

Of course, well the whole thing is insane. It's also kind of like a funny term to say a cup of genocide. I'm like, are you like totally minimizing this and making it silly? That's silly. Yeah, wow, I mean, I've heard of an Irish car bomb, which is also a drink that's killed people, but cup of genocide is wild. using this and making it silly? That's silly. Yeah. Wow. I mean, I've heard of an Irish car bomb, which also

drinks its killed people. But a cup of genocide is wild. And to say that to a person and just the fuck, fuck, fuck, very combative, what an unhinged whack job. I was just flabbergasted. I was like, OK, I mean, that's insane. And you're insane. And Ronon put it well.

I was talking to Ronon about it. He made a point of like, if you've decided that Starbucks is responsible for the war and you're not going there because you're a good person, you're a moral person, well, once you've accepted that's reality that like, I am helping the cause by not going to Starbucks. By that rationale, anyone that goes to Starbucks

is part of the genocide. In her mind. Yes. Got it. So, and you, but the thing that makes me crazy is like, so you think you're right here. You think this is the right thing to do. Yeah. You've made a difference.

By the way, I've left one minute after that because I just had to pay. Yeah. And so I was walking behind them and they walked by the Starbucks and I wanted to be like, why aren't you like throwing shit in there or like spitting at it? I'm just off cocktail.

Quietly walking by there. Right. Is it because I'm just a dude? You don't wanna bother these young diverse women? I don't get it. Shouldn't they, but shouldn't you be screaming at them? Yeah. Yeah I feel the same way, you know and you see somebody will tweet but they won't actually do anything Right, she tweeted you but I'm sure she feels great

She feels like she made a difference by just a costing a guy drinking a cup of tea Responsible for Genocide and it's my genocide and she fuck me and fucked Palestine or free Palestine. Excuse me. Yeah. Careful. She did a good thing. She's a hero and she's gonna feel better about herself, but just the way to treat people like, because the scary part is you always hear people go like, Oh yeah, they'll do that shit online. They'll never do it to your face. And she did it to your face. Yeah. It was really something else. And you few, because you want to be like, should I dump my chips on her head? Should I take a shit and whip it up? But you're just, by the way, there's

no winning from my perspective. If I went over there and went, Hey, fuck you. Now I'm just the big straight white guy screaming at a, you know, a Muslim woman, engaging a petite Muslim woman. I'm just a costing her her sure, but yeah, it was quite something I don't know what to say so whatever whatever your feelings on the whole situation is I Don't know that kind of stuff drives me crazy a weird way to behave By the way, she has no she doesn't know who I am. Yeah, I could have been at every fucking March Oh, I just didn't get the word that Starbucks was responsible for bombing Gaza, but I have nothing to do with Not a single bullet fired bomb dropped. They go. Hey

You like emperors clouds fist. All right, we're gonna bombs away that here. It's you're on this But what are you gonna do? She feels good about herself and then you gotta just let go let her feel good Have a nice time. Have a nice day. I'm sure they're on the train being like, you really did it buddy. Good job, you know, Cheryl. Thanks, Melissa. I don't think those are their names.

But yeah, yeah. You got a great time out there. We really got them. And it's also funny too, because I'm like, if you're gonna live your life like that, you're gonna be exhausted. Like, this is one of these days. You might get a hot couple of emperors

tits in your your mug but I'm like there's so many people eating star butt like shouldn't you stand outside the door if you really think Starbucks is the problem like shouldn't you be in there going hey fuck all you holding signs picketing you're just gonna pick out the one fucking dude by himself yeah it feels a little pointed odd and pointed and and a bit bigoted if I may be quite right I would agree and and also crazy a lot of range on this broad to go from whoop heart heart Enjoy your genocide you fucking chew face I'm not enjoying anything. I got a I got a 12 week old kid. I want to die

I'm not enjoying anything go the heart to heart, you knowold kid. I want to die. I'm not enjoying anything. Cool. The heart to heart. You know, these people, they think they're all lovey-dovey. It's all about coming together, down with hate. Fuck you and your cup of jizz. Yeah. So I don't know, but I like Starbucks.

There's a lot of other people in there. And I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, geez, this lady needs a chill pill. Yeah. I didn't right. Well, geez this lady needs a chill pill Yeah, I didn't get the news, but what are you gonna do? You know what you don't hear anymore is This was might have been a 90s thing, but whenever a lady was mean somebody would always go she needs a good pound and

You heard that I heard that all the time like she needs a nice big fat cock in her ass That'll that'll chill her. I was like a a nine year old, like oh, is that right? I didn't know that was a cure for stuff. Yeah, I kind of remember that. Now what was the chocolate for the period, PMS? Did you guys have that? Women like the bonbons and the chocolate, they get sweet cravings.

Oh, is that what that is? Yeah, my lady's the same way. She gets a period and she's pulling open a fucking big heart Stofors cuz I remember being a kid and hearing people like someone needs a Hershey bar That was like a thing and it was one of those things you're like, oh, you've got that straight. I do too Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know what the Hershey bar meant. I think women like Stereotypically they like a nice chunk of chocolate. Ah They're menstruating. Yeah, but there was a lot of period talk in the comedy world.

Like somebody, that time of the month, you know, somebody's menstruating, but watch out, gotta get out of the house, gotta call the Hilton, uh-oh, that time of the month, wife's a little on edge. Now do you know about the cup? I just learned about the cup. Period cup, does that do anything for you? Cup of genocide. That's a cup of genocide.

It's just a bunch of dead bodies in there. Well, that's what the new product is. You know, but what is it? Diva cup. Diva cup. That's a real nice name. That's a euphemism and a half. I like a double diva cup. Evidently it's like a tampon, but it's a cup. You just take a cup, like a fucking coffee's like a tampon, but it's a cup. You just take a cup, like a fucking coffee cup and put it in the old seahole and it collects blood. And you take it out. I don't know if you drink it or what you do with it, but give it to a vampire. I don't know what it looks like. It must be like a thimble is your wife using the cup.

Oh, my wife needs a Stanley cup because she's a gaper. By the way, the Stanley cup craze. So Stanley cup. There's a craze. Yeah. It's like the talk of the town. I got an argument with someone. Are you just referenced it? Everyone's referencing it. It's everyone wants it. And I just got a, not an argument, but like a discussion. I was like, the Stanley cup is a trophy. Yes. And I was like, if you Google Stanley cup, the Stanley cup is coming up and everyone was, everyone in the family was like, no, no, it's going to be the coffee cup. And I was like, if you Google Stanley cup, the Stanley cup is coming up and everyone was, everyone in the family was like, no, no, it's going to be the coffee cup. And I'm like, what are you talking about? This is like the world's most famous trophy around your mind. Oh, the mug, the mug.

These are very big right now. Yeah. That's what I thought you were referencing. I didn't know that was a Stanley cup. Yes. Oh, I bet. No, I was talking about the trophy. Oh, I thought you were talking about Stanley cup because that's what everyone in the world is talking about right now. They're like going for 250, 300 clams, these things. Well, I Googled Stanley Cup and the Stanley Cup that I've grown up as a boy, you know, you want to lift that cup. It's just, it's not even in the first three pages. I'm not joking. Hockey is dead better than fucking my asshole. Wow. It's just pink coffee cups and like housewives

like stay on the cup. Whoa, and it also shows the power of human nature. Nobody was talking about a coffee cup. Those were 8.99 now because everybody wants them. Now they've just gone through the roof. It's a supply and demand, Jerry. It's like the trolls when we were kids. Yes. The hair. Yes, and then the beanie baby, Jerry. It's like the trolls when we were kids. Yes!

The hair. Yes, and then the beanie baby after that. That's right. Yeah, then pogs or the stuff. Pogs. Ah! What was a pog? My neighborhood pogs were a hot item.

Like a Pogo stick? No, no, like a pog. You throw it, the little circle. I don't know the circle. What? I don't remember. Pull up a pog if you get a minute. I remember Magic the Gathering.

That was similar, but this had a slammer. Remember the slammer? I don't know the slammer. Oh, wow. I know people have been thrown in this slammer. The click. Yeah, no, very different. But yeah, the Stanley Cup is crazy right now.

It's weird what catches on in this country. I had no idea, because I thought maybe this was like a Stanley Cup. No. Because I told someone this is a Sunwell Cup. Cause I told so. This is a Sunwheel cup. Not even close. By Sunwheel be gay. What's that? I can't see. Oh, that's the Pog. That's the Pog. You slam them down as a little game.

It was for the nerds. Oh, I gotta tell you, I am not even, even seeing it, I'm not even like, oh wow. Hey, there was a flash. But maybe it didn't hit the northeast. It's called like, Oh, wow. Hey, there was a flash. Hit the Northeast. So it's called like milk caps or something. Oh, that's how they started. Yeah. I don't know. Remember tops?

You guys do tops, spinning tops. I know tops baseball cards. Oh no, this is a spin. You put a string around it. Oh, we had the thing that was like, you pulled the, and it would send a thing spinning. That was fun. It was like you fed the, and it would send a thing spinning. That was fun. It was like you fed the thing through a, like a threaded thing. And then you went, yeah,

that's fun. This was more old fat with a string and wooden with a little metal tip, like a dreidel. I don't think so. I grew up in a weird neighborhood. So we didn't have the cool toys. It was a lot of analog, not a lot of radio control cars around there. Remember the radio control car with the attached to the wire? Yeah, yeah, that was a tough time. Remote control cars, that was huge. I could never steer them if I wasn't directly behind them. I couldn't figure out the mental.

Once it's like facing that way and I'm facing this way, I couldn't do the math. Yeah, cause it was one was up, one was left right. Yeah, I had to be directly behind it in order to sort of literally chase it around. Or else I couldn't figure out how to control it. Yeah, I wasn't good at that either. I don't know if that's like some kind of dyslexia,

but like once the car was, I'm like that with a map too. I'll like turn the map to be like, okay, this is, I take a left here. Yeah, I'm like that with a map too. I'll like turn the map to be like, okay, this is, I take a left here. Yeah, I got the dyslexia. Yeah. You got it? It's fun. You have it with words?

Yeah, I read things. So often I read things out loud and then someone's like, that doesn't say that at all. Same, same. Every time I see car wash, I think it says crawfish. Cause it's a similar arrangement. And then I went to a BLM rally rally turned out it was a Mets game MLB

That was too much math on that. I see. Yeah, all right. I'll cut that Please Men and black that out of my life much like the Mets that was a swing and a mess Are they still bad they were like the go-to bad team. I think they were bad again Swing and a miss. Buzzzz. Bzz Yeah, that's the last time you get Taylor Swift in your town They're buff now. I don't understand this. I'm a big football guy big sports guy. I got no Beef with Taylor Swift they show her people are furious and they're like They got They cut the Taylor Swift who gives a shit. Yeah, if it was Madonna, they'd cut to Madonna.

I just don't get the, like someone was like, now our only hope is Baltimore to keep Taylor Swift out of the Super Bowl. And I'm like, why is this bumming you out? I don't get it either. And it's helping football quite a bit. Oh, sure. The numbers are way up.

But they're not, it feels like Big Lebowski. I'm not renting him shoes. He's not taking a turn. I'm like, she's not throwing the ball She's not punting that would suck Transports it's coming. I mean Travis Kelsey catches the ball. They cut to Taylor Swift. She's doing this and then they cut back to the game I don't we're not missing plays. No, I'm with you. I don't get it either I'm angry about all the stuff people are angry about I'm like, I don't get why you're angry about that

Yeah, cup of genocide, but then people don't like people get mad at me about leaf angry about. I'm like, I don't get why you're angry about that. Yeah, cup of genocide. But then people don't like, people get mad at me about leaf blow. They're like, you're fucking, let him leave below. And I'm like, you're on his side. Yeah. That's crazy. He's causing racking. Anyways.

I got a child here. That's another thing I get mad about it because they're like, it's legal to make noise at 715. I'm like, well, it's legal for me to go to a movie theater and fucking take a shit on the floor and eat it. I don't know if that is legal. I mean, I'll think of something that's, let me think of something that's legal. It's legal for me to go to the Burger King and get the front of the line go, uh, right. Uh, that's legal. Totally legal. That doesn't mean get the fuck out of my way. Yeah. I should be thrilled that a guy's going

15 a.m. It's a funny noise. It is a funny noise. Well, we're gonna wrap this fucking. Oh really the last episode we're getting canceled Gaza strip they got a comedy club there. We come to do it? Apparently you're in the group. I mean, my God. Yeah. Starbucks. By the way, it's not a big enough, did you hear about Starbucks supporting the war? Wait, are they? I don't know.

Is that real? I don't know. I don't know. And that's what she made it seem like, cause I went, did I tell you this already? Yeah, I went to Starbucks and they were like, yeah, I don't know. Evidently something.

And I guess someone else, maybe it's the same lady. They order a Frappuccino every morning and the name is free Palestine. They never come and pick it up. So she's making, whoever this person is, is making employees work for no reason. So they can read a label as though these people that work there have anything to do whatsoever with course where the company's fucking money is going they're just trying to make a living which you know you think as a super progressive you might support people that are trying to fucking work in a well I know the jokes on the the country calls in because if I know Starbucks is gonna say Fred Palace do because they

get the name wrong every fucking time so it's the same with these justins that sit in the highway, you know, and they're like, Hey, climate change. And you're like, you're actually burning gas. These people are parked now, leaving the car running. It's idling. And this guy's going to a funeral. He's trying to go to work. What are you doing? I know, and you're losing everybody. People are like I glued my dick to the side of the goal post during the Super Bowl.

Right. Everyone's like this, oh fuck whatever you stand for, fuck that. Exactly. Yeah, you're hurting the movement. Yeah, bad movement. There's no movement on the highway. So don't get me started on the Cous

who throws the cream of mushroom on the Mona Lisa. Come on, I could have eaten that. It's starving people all over the country, but it's an oil painting. Oil. Get it? Now, speaking of no movement, I will be at the Regent Theatre May 2nd, and there are tickets available, folks. Where the hell's the Regent? Regent's on Skid Row. Oh.

I'm telling you, they fucked me right in the ass. It's almost like they did it as a prank. They're like, put List on Skid Row up against Manus Calco Barghetti and see how he likes that, Jenison. Oh yeah, you're gonna be right between a tent, a meth clinic, and a big pile of kook shit. Ah, that's my life. What are you gonna do? You better go in there with a shark cage.

Where am I? I'm just trying to get them wheeling you in. Oh, go to Punch Up Live. I now have a bonus thing there, a little, like a Patreon, but on Punch Up Live. I now have a bonus thing there, a little, like a Patreon, but on Punch Up Live. Hey, extra content. There's a bunch of extra content on there.

I'm shucking and jiving with Andy Hendrickson, Matt Wayne, and a couple other people. Maybe we'll do one sometime. I would love to. We got a couple hours. We got to roll Patreon too though. But anyways, go on there, go to Punch Up Live. It's five bucks, it's a cup of coffee,

one cup of genocide for the month. Roast and toast. And yeah, go check that out. Punch up live, sign up and a bunch of dates, Springfield, Missouri, a Raleigh, North Carolina, Indian apolis, Indiana. I'm going fucking everywhere. Kansas city. People also get upset if you don't come to their town as though you're just avoiding the town. I'm like, I'm going to 48 towns. I couldn't, there's 300 towns. They call my agent. I don't butt this shit together.

They're like, you never come here. I'm like, I was there eight weeks ago. I got to go to Indianapolis. What do you want me to do? By the way, I didn't sell out and last time I went there. So now what? Anyways, I got a lot of dates. Go to PunchUp Live and I'm putting everything on YouTube. There's a lot of shit on YouTube.

Go check it out. Join our Patreon. We just shot a ton of crazy shit. Yes! It's insane! So much shit. Free Palestine. Here we go. I'm all over the place. Tucson, Raleigh, Charlotte, Lexington, Charlottesville. Why no Boise? Yeah, I'm going to Boise. Yes, Phoenix. I'll be in LA with this cat. Oh, we got to do a live app maybe. Oh, I don't know if we're gonna be able to. Yeah, we got a bad dates. Yeah, you're only available like six days after my show. Six

days. I can't be in LA for seven days. Oh, I see. I got a baby. I see. It's annoying. Forget about the baby. Maybe I'll come back. bring the baby. You can't bring a baby to LA. That's true. It'll make him gay. He'll have a little cappuccino and be like, I don't think so. Yeah. All right. Well, pretentious. What's a cappuccino? Maybe that's not pretentious. You don't work. Yeah. Maybe a pressed juice. I like pressed juice. I do too. All right. This is the show. This is good. All right, marknormacobby.com. Punch up live as well.

I've also got horse shit on there. And yeah, thanks for everything. Get on the page, John. We'll see you all in hell.