Tuesdays with Stories! - #574 White Trash Lounge

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

The boys are back from SKANKFEST and there are tales to tell, baby! Nate Bargatze, Nick Di Paulo, Kerryn Feehan, Luis J Gomez, Dave Attell, Bert Kreischer, Bobby Kelly - the good times don’t step in this ep baby! Including - the Skankfest premiere of Joe’s Tom Dustin doc! You don’t want to miss this one! Our Stuff: - http://www.patreon.com/tuesdays   - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories   - Check out Joe List on Punch Up Live for tour dates, videos, buying tickets and more! https://punchup.live/joe-list This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/tuesdays & get on your way to being your best self. Fuel your best performance with Huel today! Try Huel with 15% off today using code TUESDAYS at my.huel.com/TUESDAYS Get BlueChew for free with code TUESDAYS at https://www.bluechew.com Support the show and get 20-50% off your Raycon order. Head to https://www.buyraycon.com/TUESDAYS

Hey Mark, fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do. Great. Good to be here. Welcome to Tuesdays with... Stories! Hit her in the face with a surfboard. And then the duck fell out of his bag! Ha ha ha ha!

Surf's up! And she didn't even flush. Knock knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe List! Yeah! This is Tuesdays with Stories everybody! No, that's terrible.

This is supposed to be cheesy. My radio is spitting at me. And I can't choose my seat. Hey! Hey, we're on the couch! We're back on the couch. People love the couch. It's all mental. These people don't realize it's all mental. It's all pipes.

These people are like, every episode on a couch is better than every episode in a chair. And I'm like, how can you not see that that's just in your head? Of course, of course. Yeah, it's like that scene in Departed. He goes, how come on Friday, the clients are always angrier? Because you're tired, you don't give a shit.

It's not supernatural. That's how this is. You love that line. I love that line because it cuts through all the bullshit. You reference that a lot is. You love that line. I love that line because it Cuts through all the bullshit you reference that a lot I've seen that line so little because that's like the part of the movie that sucks Yeah, let me get through this get back to the the killing and they're off the roof really let a jack Run too wild. He was doing all this shit Yeah, all that was it was that around wacky, but it's a good time.

I enjoy it. It's fun, period. Ah. We're gonna get Alan right there. I mean, we're on a couch already. We get Alan right there, our therapist. We could really do a twofer. Maybe I should rent this out to Alan.

Ooh. Drag his old bones over here and see what he can do. I don't know if a couple of comics are coming out to this neck of the woods. No, I'll never be here again. This is my final days in Astoria. I'll never see Lex again. I'll never see Ronan again.

It's over. That's all a plus. And on the airport trip, I just took the, whatever, a lift from LaGuardia to my house for the last time. Wow. And you know what I did? This is the brutal part. I land, I get to the lift, it says 14 minutes to home, I type in my new address, 43 minutes. Oh! That's brutal. Yeah,

still under an hour, but yeah, that's pretty bad. Under an hour. You're closer to the JFK now. Is it JF? JFK? Is that the one I'm closer to? I guess, yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, well, it's in, JFK is Queens But it's really Brooklyn. It feels like Brooklyn's way low, but I can take the LIRR baby or a car or a car Yeah, but you're right off at the gate. That's true But yeah big stuff so you're moving currently right now And I'm moving in six days behind the cameras a fucking mess well these come guzzlers they go Hey, you'll be in, these contractors, you'll be in in March.

March turns into May, May turns into June, June turns into September, and then they go, all right, I'm like, we're coming in September, and they go, yeah, we gotta do October. So I said, all right, and I booked a moving truck, couple of Mexicans, they're taking over, and we get the truck. We show up and they go, ooh, we need like three more weeks.

And we go, ah, we're here. We're queer. We put all our pussy dildo bullshit in the living room. And there's just other Mexican guys who knew the movers. They were like, hello. And then they go, they're painting. And they're like, your shit's everywhere. Can you move this piano? Can you move this lamp? Like, we're working here. I like, your shit's everywhere. Can you move this piano?

Can you move this lamp? Like, we're working here. I mean, this is crazy. I can't wait to see this place. And I was like, let's record at your house. And you're like, we can't have any but there's a hole in the room. I'm picturing the house from Home Alone 2.

It's no, it's Money Pit. Oh yeah, that's pretty good. It's a little further along than that. We got some paint, some banister. It's pretty, there's a dishwasher. Wow. That's a dishwasher. Wow. Watch the other Mexican. But it's still out of whack.

There's no doorknobs. You can look right through that puppy. I woke up to a buzz saw. Reee, right here, right here, Jerry. There was saw and wood. Oh my God. So what is the fucking completion date on this horse shit? Well, they're saying three weeks,

but they said that in March of 81. I mean, I first heard about this house. I can't even remember. It was pre-COVID. Yeah. May wasn't pregnant. She wasn't born. You were dating the peg leg bitch.

And Peter was still only three foot nine. He's four two now. Hey, yeah. Well, I got notches on the headboard of his height. But yeah, it's bad. But it's weird because I'm there all day now. I spent the whole day there unpacking and showering

and these guys, they don't do much. The workers, they're like sanding a little bit and they have lunch, then they'll paint the door frame like this and then they have lunch and then they'll chit chat. They charge their phone. I don't know what they're doing all day no wonder this took eight years well I think you got to crack the whip you gotta whip them I guess so just take a whip and crack them with it all right I'll whip them yeah

that's what you're gonna do that's what I do to my wife when she won't clean yes yes well yeah they're they're not black so, so it's not like a racial component. Oh, okay. And George is saying, cut it. All right. Cut it out. Cool whip. Cool whip? I never thought of that in the context. That's really funny. What do you mean? Well, it could be a sketch there. Cool whip. Maybe it's like a slave thing, but it's like, cool. Because they're black. Hey, baby, you got something cool.

You know, he's smoking a cigarette It's a cool whip. There you go. And that's what they call their cars whips Ironic I never heard that you never heard whip Nice whip. Am I right? Or am I right? I don't know whip whip is big. Well from Whitman. Ah Hello folks Well, anyways, we're here and so we're packing up we're moving it's so crazy I keep saying this to you but unrelated we're moving eight days apart eight days apart. I don't know but it's unbelievable you're moving right now

today I'm moving next Thursday and you're moving out of the city I'm moving in the city but closer together. Yes, yes, closer. It's just unbelievable. And I also moved right before I had the baby, upstairs. Yeah. And you're moving right for the baby. And the babies are the same age apart that we are.

I mean, there's a lot of parallels here. It's pretty wacky. Big parallel, and I'm scared to move. My wife and child are gonna be gone. They're going to Galveston. So I'm moving without that, which is kind of nice. Cause you have to entertain the baby and then I can decide what goes where.

Ooh, that's big. I'm gonna tape the dildo to the kitchen sink and tape the kitchen sink to the dildo. Put the dildo over the mantle like a big fish. It's gonna be all pearl jam and the clash up on the ceiling and the mirrors. It's nice. I got my own thing. Plus I can christen the new apartment by fucking a guy in there before she gets home. I'll be there. Alright, please. Are you coming to the premiere? Yes, and the lady. Are you sure? Because you thought it was a different

day. I got the text from him. He's like, we're're on our way I'm dressed. I'm like it's in three weeks. You son of an onion. It's in the cow. I already canceled a spot Oh, is that right? Oh, yeah, I want to see this fucking tearjerker. Well, it was the talk of the fast We gotta talk about skank fest a little bit. I got a month's worth before skank fest. Yeah same We gotta get you to skank fest next year Lex. We'll give give you 50 bucks a day. Are you single? No hotel, no flights. Ah, you're gonna love it. Yeah. I still fucked everyone there. There you go. Biggs, men. Yes, yes. I can't believe DeRosa didn't fuck the pegger. No, peggers can't be choosers. But he, uh, he, I think he got it. He bagged a couple of, uh, women of the night.

Ah, yes, I remember that. We have a Patreon. I assume the said the patreon will be I actually I don't know when we're getting that file Shot about six patreon's down there. Well these gang fest. They're not known for their reliability They send that file. We'll get that before the house is over. No, no, it's not gonna be not gonna be soon, but we shot an episode with Nate Barghatzi and Nick Apollo, which is should be up now Not gonna be soon, but we shot an episode with Nate Bargatze and Nick Capallo Which is should be up now. We got sent to us already then we shot some behind-the-scenes stuff. Yes of our bomb Yes, we had a live up tough live up Sam talent really carried it Eddie Peppatone didn't get the show and Don't have some great lines though funny funny son-of-a a B, but yeah, I don't know if the audience got it.

No, I don't know if they got it, but I don't know if he was thrilled. You can't tell what's serious and what's kidding. He was like, I don't like this show. And I couldn't tell if it was real or not. That was real. It felt real. Yeah, yeah. But we loved Peppatone, he was making me laugh.

Killer, killer comic. But I also think it was Sunday night of a long festival. I mean, I don't know where to start with this Skankfest action. Well get there from the get-go. You were at a, what, Thursday you showed up? I showed up Thursday night. I took a, I called it a red eye, but someone's like, this isn't really a red eye. But to me it was like, it left New York at 9 p.m. and landed at 3 a.m. New York time.

That's a red eye. My eyes were red. Yes, yes, red. Isn't it in the red eye of the beholder? Ooh, I like that. That's big. A red eye, if you're drinking too enough Coke an 11 a.m. flight from Albany to Ithaca can be a red eye.

Yes, red eye for an eye. Yeah, I've told this story many times, but I once came in a girl's eye and then she drove me to the airport and it was stuck together And and bright pink and the whole time she was like I'd like to see you again. I can't see anything right now Wow, is that right? Yeah, that's a true story. Whoa, so is that pink guy if it's not shit? I think it was a well

It was red and white because it was bloodshot plus the comes that makes pink Wow red white and she blew you red white Hey red white and she blew you red white. Hey red white and blow me. Yeah Well, it's gonna be all couch from here on out cuz I think we're gonna record at my house Yes couch potato. Although the next one like we can record here again. We'll figure it out Yeah, we'll make it work. By the way a quick side note Tim Dillon has a podcast studio upstairs at where I'm moving to, like in the building. I said, one building over, two buildings over, and I thought, hey, we're looking for a studio

in this neighborhood. I go, hey, what do you pay down there? $7,000 a week. Wow! He's paying, this guy is paying more money, not a week, a month, but still it's fun, more money for his podcast studio than I pay for my two bedroom apartment in a luxury building. Wow, you got a child. I mean he could have moved in, he could have been my nanny for that.

Holy shit, we should have that studio, we're gayer than him. That's true, but I can't afford that. No, but can he let us ride on his fat coattails? Well I said, you know, maybe if you wanted to sublet it out and then he just changed the subject into you know Joe Biden or whatever. Right, right, right. He likes the politics. Yeah. All right. Well shit Come on, Timmy Dill. Let us get in that gherkin. Let us go up there right upstairs. But anyways So I had a late-night flight. Where was I before though? I got all the stuff. Oh, I had the Chabon wedding.

I mean, I don't know where to go here. Oh my God. Well, let's knock out Skanky and then we'll go. I think you rode on a pink guy. If you got there at 3 a.m., that's a pink guy, not a red eye. I took a pink guy and speaking of pink holes, I had old Miss Fianne right next to me. Oh, that hole is black and brown. Pink, it's like a rotten banana.

Well, so the fun thing about Skankfest is you're traveling out there, and you don't know who's gonna be on your flight. It's very exciting. That's true. Because everybody's on everybody's flights. Although the way home, I finagled it where I could not be on anyone's flight, but.

Smart move. Spoiler alert, ended up being on someone's flight anyways. Oh, with Skankfest, you know, it could be Jazzy Jeff or Jimmy Too Dope or Insane Clown Biscuit. Who knows? By the way, unanimously, every person I talked to said Insane Clone Pussy horrendous. Oh, really? Everybody was like, my God, it was bad.

I thought they were bad. I didn't think they'd be that bad. You don't say. The Insane Clown Pussy sucked. I could have told you that in 1994. You and corn. Suck it. I do like insane clone pussy.

I like that. That's fun. You clone a pussy and it's wild. Wahhhhhh! So... A Haitian's gonna eat it. So I missed that. That was Thursday night.

I flew out Thursday late night. So I go to the airport. Turns out Feehan just is on the same flight not planned Thank you to all the to reddit and Instagram and Twitter and the others. Oh, yeah Well, she wanted to get there at 3 a.m. Well, we got there 1230 a.m Oh, sorry, but it's a nice time because for me You go out and I love we've talked before I love traveling when you don't have an obligation So it's delayed or you're late, no big whoop.

I got plenty of time to get there. Plus, I like waking up. I don't like traveling five hours and now it's time to hang out all day. It's go time. So this was good. I got to hang out with the baby till six o'clock, 6.30. Kind of half put him to bed.

He's ready for bed. I go, see you later. I head to the airport, plenty of time. him to bed. He's ready for bed. I go, see you later. I head to the airport plenty of time. I go to that lounge. Right away I see TJ Miller over there. Now TJ keeps to himself. Is that right? Yeah, well, at the airport anyways.

I see. He's a big celebrity. The Deadpools, the Clover fields, the Silicon Valley, the bomb threat. He's huge, yeah, yeah. So he's got a mask on, but it doesn't help. Cause he's got the big frizzy hair. He's huge. Yeah. Yeah, so he's got a mask on but it doesn't help. Hmm, cuz he's got the big frizzy hair He's like six five people don't realize he's like a six foot five guy big dude He dresses like like a rapper in the 40s. Yes, you know, he's got wacky colors a bucket hat shades on right

So I feel like he's trying not to get noticed but he's so distinct. Yes. Yes, and he's got that big old mouth I guess the mask covered it but he's so distinct of a guy. Yes, and he's got that big ol' mouth. I guess the mask covered it, but he's got some real urinals in there. So it's one of those ones where you see somebody and I don't wanna hang. No. And he doesn't wanna hang, which I like. Sure.

And then he came by and he goes, hey, Joe Lutz, and I go, hey, and there's a party that's like, here we go, I gotta socialize, and he just cruised on by and I said, this guy is aces. He gets it my kind of guy So fee had no such luck. She wants to hang and I want to hang I love I love fee and obviously so

Titer which much much to us, but you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm losing the asshole She's losing the V hole although she claims she has the smallest pussy of all time That's like her big claim to fame call in if you you fucked her, because I'm sure someone out there has. And the phones are lighting up. Switchboard is blowing up. God damn, the phone just shattered into pieces. Picture a big map of America, that's just every region.

Yeah, it's like fucking Sinead O'Connor ripping the pope. Right, right. It's like ladies with big hairdos going. Isn't it crazy to think that's what happened? Like, back in the day, now, everyone, you get 5,000 tweets in a minute or whatever. Back then, though, people still did it. They would call NBC.

That's true. They would be like, give me Studio 8H. That. This bitch. And two days later, some mailman with a mustache would come in and go. Right. Dump barrels and barrels of letters from angry moms.

Yeah, people had to go and write down a thing. You fucking cunt, I love the Pope. Yes. He never raped any children. You're going to hell, Cleef. God, these hell people are so fascinating. I know, we're all going there. Ha!

Especially the gays. Ha! The devil! It's so crazy to think about dying and then you're like And then what's up with limbo? Just like whoa or waiting to know which one am I going to a boy? No, what's that called not limbo purgatory purgatory limbo is the game we are crawling anything. I think it came from that is that right? I'm calling it right here. Give it a good like so Lex Lex is already saying yeah Lex Luger. So it's called limbo. Yeah

You're gonna get under the pole that's heaven I assume So when you do the limbo you could do the purgatory Yeah Well back in the day everything was either a nautical reference or a religious reference. Right. And that was a big ol' fat relige. No kidding, limbo. Yeah, what's the, what's the epitomology of that business? So, they're actually technically different.

Technically different. The limbo of infants is a hypothetical place for unbaptized babies who die. Unbaptized babies who die? Oh, so my baby, if my baby dies, he's going straight to limbo. Yeah, I'm unbaptized as well. Purgatory is a state of purification for souls who die in God's friendship but were not perfectly purified. Oh, God's friendship but not perfectly purified.

How do you get friends with God? Is he on Facebook? How do you figure that out? And what an asshole God is. He's like, that's his friend? And he's like, ah, you can't come in. Yeah, yeah, you gotta wait out there. It's like a nightclub.

Come on, God, we're friends. Weird, It's like a nightclub. Come on guy. We're friends Yeah, what a shitty friend no no friends Well, anyway, so I get to JFK. I'm excited to get to the lounge I see TJ I mean then you're always get your eye out for other comics Karen comes in we bullshit We get some food Dave temple we bump into yes. That was a good guy. Nice egg So we load up on food. The food is too fancy there. I know I'm an asshole.

I know I'm a cunt. It's a little highfalut. Give me some mac and cheese. They got ginger carrots smashed, salmon with fucking mustard and cum on it. Everything's drizzled over there. A lot of drizzling. And they wear the big chef outfit.

I'm like, you're at the the airport What are we doing here? You're four feet away from a? What's that? What's that fucking sausage joint? You don't have Roman? Maddie's and Oh auntie and the sausage pretzels they got sausages in there Pick in a blank all right you might be right with the pig all right. I've had one there That's the only reason I know but Just this what they should have here's what you should have dealt a lot because they're too they act like with this rich Fucking thing and I've said it before I'm just a white trash asshole who flies a lot for work. Yes You know I mean look at me. I'm a piece of shit. You're a traveling clown. They should have, geez that hurt. There should be a freezer 10 feet by

six feet filled with Mama Celeste four cheese pizzas and six microwaves. That's what it should be. Now we're talking. You pop in the Celeste pizza, the fat titted Italian broad, you eat the pizza like a ninja turtle. And give me a kegerator while you're in there. Exactly! Yes! Just a row of hot dogs like 7-Eleven and have a couple fancy bullshits. I love it, I love it. You know what you need?

The WTL. White trash lounge. You got it, Fanny, our periods are synced. That's right, we should have that. So anyways, they eat, I'm just eating whatever. I brought the famous Hamas to eat. And we're bullshitting, hanging out, it's a nice hang. They go, okay, and then this is always funny too.

When you go to a festival, now you're forced to travel with other people you don't normally travel with. We're used to being solo. Now I'm a neurotic cunt when it comes to traveling. I'm not missing a flight, I wanna be the first one on the goddamn plane. Pre-solo. So I go, okay folks, it's me and Temple and Fianna. I go, all right, time to go. Now, folks who don't know, Dave Temple is of the African American persuasion.

Yes, yes. And the flight. You think Jew with the last name. Good point. Well, Temple University, I think that's a black school, isn't it? Oh, yeah, that's true. I just think that because I've watched basketball and that's who I see. Yeah, you got a point there. I'm like, all 12 of the students are black. Bill Cosby went there as well. There you go. Big black.

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slash Tuesdays today to get 20 to 50 percent off site wide. That's right. You'll get up to 50 percent off everything on Raycon's website when you go to buyraycon.com slash Tuesdays. B-U-Y-R-A-Y-C-O-N dot com slash Tuesdays. Get on it! So huge black. Oh yeah. Blackout. So the flight leaves at nine 30 and it boards at eight 50. So it's eight oh five. I'm like, we got to head down to that gate. Let's go. And temples like, what are you out of your mind? Wow.

Come on. CPT CPT also I'm like, well what's that of your mind? Well, come on CPT. CPT also I'm like, well, what's that? You're probably zone 48. I'm first class. Well, he doesn't sit in the back if I remember Rosa. So I go, come on, let's go. And finally I win. I'm like, you guys do whatever you want.

I'm leaving. And then they're like, I guess we'll go. You white piece of shit. I'm getting all the flack. Sure. But I like to be early. And then walking, I'm like walking like the McAllister's trying to catch the flight.

Run, run, Rudolph. Yeah. And Fian's legs are a foot and a half long. And Temple's cool. He's like, gee. Bounce like a wow, wow. He's got like, pip music. So I'm just 300 miles ahead of them.

We get down there. They haven't even come close to boarding the plane hasn't even arrived yet But we see Mikey figs that Latino yes, yeah, what is he a Puerto Rican? He's a Puerto Rican who identifies as a tell he presents as Italian. That's true Yeah, what's up with that? Is that appropriation? I don't know. He's case. Hey, what do you want from me? And I'm like, what are you Sicilian? He He's like, nah, I'm from fucking Puerto Rico. He might be half-wop. I think he's half.

All right. His name's Mikey. It feels Italian. Italian could be a little more charming than a Puerto Rican. I feel like Puerto Rican's like Liguizamo or something. Yeah, I guess so. Well, he reeks. But he was down there.

And then Oscar, how do you say Oscar? Aidan? Aidan, yeah. I believe it was Middle Eastern. Is that right? So you know, you don't want him too early. He's down there, and then who was the other one? Oscar Figgs.

Oh shit, I feel terrible. This is a real who's not of celebs we got here. Yeah. They gotta throw someone out there. We got TJ. It was a real, how did you get into this festival? Yes, the figs is there every year. I think he puts away chairs at night or something Oh, I saw him with a mop on Thursday. So anyways, it's fun to see them and then figs by the way

He's like, hey, I got shake shack. You want my fries and I thought he was done. I mean, you know you I'm excited I'm hard. So I go. Yeah, I'll take some fries. Wait a minute didn't they burn you a month ago I said that I was like I was barfing and then some other guy was barfing so be careful He claimed it was a lettuce wrap too and none of us believed. Well, that's not a lettuce wrap Yeah, fuck get that out of here. So there he goes have some fries So I just housed the fries let us pray and it turned out he was saving the food for the flight. I thought he was done It turned out he was saving the food for the flight. I thought he was done You wolf down the man's fries you look forward to the fries It's because the fucking Delta lounge has horseshit food so someone gives me fries. I ate him like Scooby-Doo

I just got a lot and he was like you ate all of them. You're a frequent flyer fryer We'll plug in the real answer frequent fryer. Yes. Thank you plug that in. We'll put that in when you said the racial thing, too So anyways, we bored of course I word first and then Fiann she's in first class, but she's back there She's in 4d She's had four days or not to be at a time. I think ah So she goes we got a switch and I go well, well, you can, if you wanna switch, you do the talking. You're like a cute girl who's like,

da-bee-bee-bee-boo. I'm a fucking asshole. And also it's a red eye, so we're gonna sleep. So I go on, I'm like, maybe we'll sit together. We'll try to sit together. It'd be fun if we could sit together, but no big deal if not. I get on the plane, I'm 2B.

There's a fucking 148 year old lady. She looked like the old bag from Seinfeld who steals the bread. Oh yeah. She's in there, literally she's like crocheting. She looks like she's been sitting, she got there two days ago. Wow, you got Queen Elizabeth over here. She's got crochet up here and there's yarn over here. Jesus.

And there's a needle over here and a sweater over there. She's just- Doing an AIDS quilt? She's got two pairs of glasses. You ever see the two pairs of glasses? Oh, I've seen two pair. Yeah, Ron Bennington does the double P. Yeah, she's got one down here, one down here.

She's got a little cigar. Got a glass of wine and a cup of tea. You're Fez. Yeah, and then there's a cat under her. You know, she's just, she's there. She's got a poster of the four valleys the Frankie Valley in the Hell yeah, and I go okay. Well. We can't so I sit down I'm like how do you do and she goes I've been born in 19. I go great

Fian gets on she's got fucking Bose headphones. He goes excuse me. This is my really good friend Would you mind moving to 4B? I go, what are you crazy? I go, what are you doing? She goes, I'm sorry, what? She goes, we're really good friends, I'd like to sit next to my friend, it's 4B. Throw a bomber from the plane.

And she goes, it's one row back, which I'm like, why are you, it's two rows back. Yeah, who gives a fuck? And she goes, is it a window? And she goes, yeah, it's a window. She goes. Yeah, it's a window It's right there Yeah, and I'm like I'm sorry. I don't even know this lady what a coos and the lady goes okay. No, she's Shit, she's like my bag. Well you get my bag when I get up there, and I'm like what are we doing?

Oh, I'm gonna go to bed. Thank God. It wasn't temple. She would have screamed Hey imagine that guy trying to move her That's a no-no. So I go. Okay. So now I gotta get up and help the lady I'm like carrying her to her seat. I got her under my arm like a book. I put her down I tuck her in the Old Testament. I come back and I'm like, what are you doing? You miss? She's like, you're such a bitch you fold you folded You couldn't you couldn't even do it. I'm like, I didn't want to ask the old lady to move Oh my god You got a the lady who called it Emmett till moving on them down the plane here

And then we chat for two minutes and we both go to bed. What was the point of that? Horrific that makes me sick. So then Laugh rap this up so I cuz I want to hear your Yeah, I got I got shit so that yeah, I'm to the people in the back every time I talk more than you they're like he fucking hogs He doesn't let him say they called and they never see the beginning where you're like, I got nothing you gotta carry my ass I'm like, all right, I'll try Anyways, I digress so then we get on now. We're all settled in we're like, where's TJ?

Mmm, cuz you know, he's a bit of a bit of a kook sure and the whole plane is full by the way there's nothing more fun than shitting on all the comics as they come cuz Mike Fink gets on three hours later it's like a rose battle conveyor belt it's pretty fun yeah and zang oh we were yelling racial epitaphs it was fun so then the plane's about to take off and then the last second there's oh there's a drunk guy in one C. One C. And he's having he's like this yeah what uh he's talking to the flight attendant what time does this flight get in again I can't remember what time you guys what goes on back there he's just crazy he's like cartoon drunk cartoon drunk yes he's got a barrel on he's burping

a bubble TJ comes in he's listening the guy goes, oh thank god now I have someone to talk to I thought I was gonna have anyone to talk to I was gonna talk to this guy and TJ goes I'm not talking to you I don't want to talk to you I don't want to talk to my wife I don't want to talk to anybody don't even think about talking to me. Wow! And the guy literally is like does like mouth the gape and then DJ turns with like, like Costanza over to us and goes, Joe, I'll pay you to switch money. Wow. Switch seat.

He's just doing that in front of the guy. That's gold. The guy pouts the whole time. He's got his legs crossed like this. He won't look at him. He's got his sunglasses on. And then I heard the flight attendant go, he's been a problem for several people.

She said, DJ. And TJ was like, I'll give you $300. And I'm like, I'm not switching. I like the aisle. I'm here. Yeah. And then Karen's like, I'll do it for a thousand. And then he was texting me.

He's like, tell her 600. We're texting each other as the flight's taking off. This is crazy. And he had me dying. He was, I'll show you the text after. It was fucking hilarious. He's like, fuck this guy. And that was really fun.

Did he try to talk to him at all? Or did he get the message? No, no, he got the message. guy just out it like it was like when you yell at someone in the audience They just shut down. Yeah, he was just pouting Wow, so that was fun that Karen She post she's got this crazy red light mask. She looks like eyes wide shut. Oh see the photo. No, no It's the craziest thing you've ever seen. Is that real? Yeah. Yeah post the photo. I'm like what are you kidding with that fucking thing? The whole plane is just lit up bright red. What? Yeah, and then people are like looking at her I'm like we're not really that close. I don't know. Sorry about the old lady. The old lady died in the flight by the way. I mean she comes in and she's a terrorist. She's got the red light. She's kicking out old ladies What is she doing? Yeah, well, she's having a good time. She's very

Assertive. Yes. yes. Imagine her still drinking. Oh, I can't even imagine. Yeah, there it is. You can see us all lit up there. It's insane. It looks like Hezbollah. That's insanity. It literally looks like Eyes Wide Shut. Yeah, it does. You know...

What does that do to you? Does that do stuff to you? I mean, it's unbelievable. It looks like what Predator sees. It's really wild, and people just kept walking by, looking, and I'm like Yeah, it was wild but anyways we land I go straight to bed wake up Friday morning and Skyfest is just the best. I'm like at a loss for words the best. It's a beautiful thing They've put together and it's the greatest crowds the greatest audience They just love comedy and I always say it's where reddit goes to die

because reddit is so mean and cunty and Cutting and then Brendan Schaub shows up, but they go hey good to meet you. Hey, we love you So maybe it's all bullshit, but it's nice to Everyone assumes these are like incels and school shooters, and maybe they are but in front of you. They're peachy keen Well it is and it's the most inclusive. We were talking to Ron about this. You know, he went to the Naked Rose, which we tried to go to the Naked Rose

and got thrown out, which is a bad feeling. Yeah, what's that about? Well, last year, you remember you were there, I think. Yeah, it was awesome. Yes, you were there. We were the side of the stage. And so this year I just thought we'll do the same thing. And I guess some of the participants

were a little self-conscious. And last year I realized I showed up by myself and stood at the side stage. This year I was rolling like eight deep. It was like me, Sagalow, Cannon, Tom Dustin. I think Tom put us over. Cause the guy was like, some guy came up, he's like, can you go get your boy?

Cause Tom walked in, they were like, whoa, you're on the show? And he's like, I'm with Joe List. And the guy was like, can you get your boy cuz Tom walked in they were like whoa You're on the show and he's like I'm with Joe list Oh, the guy was like can you get your boy which your boy is never good never a good sign and then and Tom by the way Was it it wasn't they acted like he was like? Like he walked in was like oh, sorry and then just walked out That was a pretty good Tom by the way not bad but the thing is the roast battle this was weird with the naked roast and I actually think they should just do it a

regular roast battle this was weird with the naked roast and I actually think they should just do it a regular roast battle because You look like a creep, but I just love roasts and roast battle. You want to see the show It was great last year. Don't get me wrong. It's nice to see tits. Yeah, the boobage was really flinging this year I mean, I didn't go to the roast battle, but I've saw a bunch of knockers. Yeah, a lot of healthy beautiful babies. Yeah, a lot of healthy, beautiful babies. Yeah, and I think if you're a well-endowed whore, you could really shine at Skankfest if you're like a six.

Absolutely. You know, you're a six in New York, people kick you in the dumpster, but out there you're like, oh man, I'm fucking Vanna White. Yeah, no, yeah, it's a great point. Six on Fremont is like a 25. There you go. I think you said it or someone else. I think it might have been you said it feels like the men of

Skankfest are finally getting comfortable enough to bring their girls. Yes. Yes. Exactly. There's less rape than we thought. I'm bringing my chick and see you meet a lot of beautiful women. Yes. Yes. But yeah, so we went to the naked roast showed up and then they were like, you can't be at the side of the stage by the time we tried to get in the room. It was just so fucking packed. And people were fainting left and right this year. It was like a Michael Jackson show in the 80s.

Oh, geez, I didn't catch that. I saw at least three people getting carried out. During my set on Sunday, people were getting carried out. Wow. And I'm like, it's fucking stand-up comedy. Relax. Is it just cocktails and sunshine? Well, it was 108 degrees all weekend. Yeah, just, it's fucking stand-up comedy, relax. Is it just cocktails and sunshine? Well, it was 108 degrees all weekend.

Yeah, yeah, good fan. And then people were waiting outside in line. I think everyone's taking Molly and Coke. I saw cocaine, Molly, acid. Ah yeah, it was flying, it was all over the place. But. Trooms. I don't know, it was great Friday.

I just couldn't wait for you to get there. And then when did you show up? I can't even remember when I first saw you. I made the mistake. I had a gig in Portland on Friday. It was too good to pass up. Good money. Me and Umar did some theater out there in Portland.

Love Umar. Love Portland. Killer crowd. What a great, even Umar did well. Whoa. Yeah, that's how you know it was a hot one. Just beautiful theater. Love Portland.

It was one of those that wasn't selling great, then like the last two days just shot up. Yes. And I think your fight story didn't hurt. Oh yeah. Because everybody, I met outside, I did a little meet and greet bullshit. It was like, hey, I was at Joe's show.

I was at the fight, I saw the fight, I saw the guy with the long hair, the whole thing. So that was big. Right, it's a great town, one of the best comedy towns. Yeah, great town and had a great time. And then me Umar of course had a couple of pops and we go, let's go to a quiet bar, let's get a couple of drinks. He had an early flight, I'm going to skank town, I want to be fresh and of course everyone from the show happened to be at that bar so it was Shottsville, it was like fucking South Side of Chicago.

So many shots. Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. And of course, then we go back to the hotel and Umar goes, you wanna get one more at the hotel bar? And I go, ah, we'll get a beer. We'll get a beer to close it out, you know, be responsible. The hotel bar lady is a comedy fan.

Oh. So she poured us a beer the size of my dad's ass and man, oh man, did I get no sleep and then Flew right to skank town and took a little nap and then I met with you. Yes. We had to the pocket That's what we did the pod was my first sight you showed up at that studio That was the first like human I talked to and I'm like a few hours. Oh, wow Yeah, so you I was a little wonky and I walk in to Rana, Luke Monez, and what's that lady's name? Natalie. Natalie.

Natalie, it has happened to me. I get nervous about, I don't get nervous, but you know, Seinfeld said stand up is like an ocean swim. You know, you're scared to get in, but once you're in, you don't want to get out. I feel the same with Skankfest, cause you're like walking down Fremont towards that monstrosity,

you know, the escalators and the Denny's and all that shit. And you're just like, it's like a tidal wave. It's like a pool you have to just jump in. You can't dip a toe in, because right when you get there, eight guys with Mohawks are like, ah, let's do a photo, sign my tits, here's my yearbook or whatever.

And then you're just in it. Well, yes, it's a lot. And I had the same thing leading up, because you're so excited for it, and then you're just in it. Well, yes, it's a lot, and I had the same thing leading up, because you're so excited for it, and like everything in life, which is a protective thing. The brain wants you safe. Yes. It's the reason you don't want to leave every night.

Yes. Your brain is like, there's danger out there. You're here. Yeah, well, what are you doing? You're going to die. Yeah, don't go out there. Yeah. So I always have that, and the days leading up,

I'm like, everyone else does two days there, one day there, maybe I should be doing that. And then I get over there and I'm like, this is the best time of my life. Well, first of all, we're like straight up celebrities there. Yes. I took, has to be 400 photos. Same.

And I'm walking through and there's literally 200 people chanting, Joe, Joe Joe Joe. It's crazy You feel like I feel like you know Liz Cheney over there Michael J. Fox. Yes, I was trying to think of low-level celebrities. Yes, shake it up I went to political and then too big right right. It was somebody funny. That would have been funny Torturo John Totoro. He's somebody funny that would have been funny? Torturo. John Torturo. He's so great.

Yeah, well you're nice. Yeah, I'm very good too. All right, all right. Maybe like a Tom Arnold. Tom Arnold's nice. Okay, we'll go with Tommy A. I'm like Tom Arnold over there. Yeah.

But any farts, so it's just so many people, but it is like the stimulation, not just the fans who are all so kind and you take photos and you sign a million things, you sign this, you sign that, but it's just so many people. Yeah. I'm like Tom Arnold over there. Yeah. But any farts, so it's just so many people, but it is like the stimulation, not just the fans who are all so kind and you photos you sign a million things you sign this you sign that

Then there's just comics everywhere. Oh, yeah, so even by like Sunday night. I was like I gotta go sit in a corner Under the bed. Yeah and listen to a podcast something. Because it's just so much socialization. Totally. Totally. I felt that. But yeah, it's awesome. We had a fun episode with you. Me, Mark. I knew me Ron and Luke. I confuse you and Ron on a lot. Yeah, very similar looks and personalities. But I also I brought in three people now.

Now we're like the guys there. So you can just bring people in. I brought to Palo Ron and Mon we're like the guys there. So you just bring people in I brought DePaulo Ronan and Monas. Yes, and all three I'm swimming in thank yous really Palos like tearing up on his podcast Tearing up when he goes up the stairs and And bonus just I forget he was crying the whole weekend. That's so weird cuz a year ago. It's like oh I gotta ask this guy, I hate asking people, do you wanna do my pod, and I'm a nuisance.

And now people are like, thanks for having me, that was great. Like, DeRosa sent me a nice thank you after having it on the live one. Oh, there you go. Well, Skankfest feels like a thing, you don't wanna do, DePaulo's like, I don't know, they ask me every year, it's a whole thing,

and he doesn't like to come so far west. But then you get there, and everybody's blowing you, you're laughing your ass off. I'm like, remember that memory. Remember this time. That was great. Then Nate shows up. Shane is there. Soda's there. You, me, Kramer the butler. Nice. Norton. It's the fucking Voss. It's Bobby Kelly. It's DeRosa. It's Ari. I mean, it's really everybody you want to see it everybody You're a fan of and it's it's a good Ron Bennington was there and what's the other guy? Was he there? No, I think a woman looked like him. Maybe that was it I think most of them look like that. Yeah, there was a go Dave Attell Bert Kreischer I mean it was like a real was a good lineup this year

Well, we got that photo in the in the cigar Ted Tim Dylan a tell Dylan Ari Bert Tom Bert you me Kramer Gomez. Yeah Hey folks Tuesday stories brought to you by better help You love it with Halloween coming up. It's time to think a little bit about what scares us Maybe it's zombies and clowns or maybe it's having a difficult conversation I've been putting off. Woo, Lord knows I have. No matter what scares you, therapy is an amazing tool for facing your fears and finding ways

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We've got a special deal for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluetshoe.com promo code Tuesdays to receive your first month free. Visit bluetshoe.com for more details and important safety information and And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the pod. But yeah, it was amazing. And I got to give a shout out to the live YKWD. It was Norton, Bobby, Rich and Norton. Did I say that all Twice? My brain is complete mush. And Keith. Keith. And they were, I stood in the back, I haven't sat and watched a show of any kind,

well, you know, concerts, but just watched a full live podcast, a podcast that I'm on. Right. And just stood like an audience member, standing in the back for two hours, howling, laughing. And it was just a great show. And then Ari and Bird ended up coming out

which was great also but I mean Norton was on fire I was texting you the lines. I showed up because you text me you're like I'm watching this it's hilarious Norton's killing and I put my panties on and walked over. It was really something else I mean they were shitting on Voss for flying coach and Norton goes she's trying to get upgraded using Marlboro miles. The boss goes, Jim, you're blinking too much. He goes, I can't believe my size. I've never seen a seven year old that flies coach. And Keith goes, isn't this the longest running unsuccessful podcast

of all time? That's a great line. Coming from a stroke victim. Yeah. I mean, it took a while to get out, but when he did, it was something. Wow. That's great. See, that's my big regret. I'm such a party queef. I'm like, Oh, I want to get drunk. I want to do drugs. I want to get after it. And then I should go there and just do pods, meet people, do stand up. You know, we should record more shit. We should get behind the scenes. We should get video, but I just, I just ended up starting to drink at 3pm and I blow it. Well, we, we did a lot of stuff. We did two episodes. Well, we did a lot of stuff All right to episode what we did the live episode

Yeah, it would be on the patreon with Eddie pepito and Joe DeRosa and Sam talent who was hilarious And then we did an episode with Nate and Nick. That was an hour and 15 minutes So we got about I don't know two hours and two and a half hours of high quality stuff going on the Patreon. Also, fun to think about, we got a podcast with the guy who's on SNL this week. That is crazy. The host of SNL is on our podcast. And the guy who is least likely to be on any television whatsoever because he's such a bad boy.

I mean, he's the ultimate bad boy of comedy. Well, you know what is crazy? because he's such a bad boy. I mean, he's the ultimate bad boy of comedy. Well, you know what is crazy? Look, we're getting into comedy weeds here, but. I don't think so. They're all right. Nick DiPaolo is sitting there. He's on our podcast, which is as a young comedian boy,

I'd be like, Nick DiPaolo's on my pod, you know? And then Nate walks in, who's like arguably the biggest comedian working. And he goes, hello, Mr. DiPaolo. How are you? Oh, man, this is a treat. And he goes, hello, Mr. DiPaolo, how are you? Oh man, this is a treat and it's nice to see you. And he goes back down to 1999. Right.

You know what I mean? Like this guy is the biggest, but he still has the reverence for this funny Italian cunt from 10 years ago. Right, it's very, well like 20. 20 years ago. But it's also fun too, cause Nate's like, Nick's like, it's good to meet you Nate. And Nate's like, we met at Joe's wedding.

Yes. We all hung out. They were all at my wedding. Oh, that's true. All of you guys were at my wedding. You got that right. Which was really fun. And yeah, it's the best.

Nick's the best. It was so great to see him. And boy, he just goes right back into it. We're just dying laughing. I got to watch you with Nick because I've heard all the stories and you next to Nick, it was, I felt like I was at the Hartford Funny bone in 2006. Yeah, it was really fun and we have a real father-son Relationship. He's like the only adult male that's proud of me Yeah, I know that was just terrific and what else you must have other things from Skagfest

Well, I was a good boy this year. I dodged the strip clubs, which wasn't easy. Let's see. I didn't write anything down here. Yeah, yeah. Nothing crazy happened. I signed a lady's tits, which was fun to do. I don't think I've ever done that in real life. No tits signed. I did it, and she was nice. She was a blonde lady. She had huge knockers and she gave me the marker and I went and it was fun because you get all these virgins going hey can I get a photo photo and then she walks up and you're like photo

she's like no sign them. Wow. Okay this breaks it up a little bit. That is fun. I had a guy ask me to sign his dick and he wanted to get tattooed. Really. That was in Indianapolis. Well you got a small signature. And that's what I said, it's only seven letters. And then I was like, oh, no, thank you. And he seemed really upset with me. I would do that. No, well, I don't want, I've said it before on here.

I don't want anyone to get a Joe Lit or Tuesdays Vasturi's tattoo. Oh, yeah. That's a bridge to, I'm talking to Lex, who has a Legion of Skeg's tattoo that's looking at us right now. But those guys are a different, I just just I'm too scared. I said this I'm like, what if you get my name tattooed and I you know, I rape a boy

Hunt a cat. Yeah, that's evidence now. Yeah, so I don't I don't want to touch a guy's dick No, we don't touch it. You get the marker on there. I don't look at a guy's dick Well, then he could take my hand and put it in his asshole. That's true. The way kids used to. That's true. The old fisting. Well, I mean, I appreciate you, but I don't

want my name on someone's dick. That's crazy. Yeah, I get it. I get it. You're serious. Yeah, well, that's when you get down there and you just hit him with a swastika and you run off. If I had a dollar for every time I've drawn a swastika

on someone's dick, I'd have three bucks. Ha ha. Woo. But ha. Woo! But what else went on down there? Let's see. Well, I saw the sock fight was great. That was amazing. That was, were you there for that?

Yeah, I was up top. But the bucket of them up. I was on the ring. It was Kreischer, Big J, me, and Attell with microphones. And just zinging and zanging while these women are doing sock wrestling in a boxing ring in the center of Skankfest. So Vegas is just going nuts. The whole place is going crazy.

It's outside and we're all commentating and I don't know if you know what a sock fight is but or sock wrestling. I didn't before this. I didn't either. So it's basically two people go at it and whoever gets the other person's socks off first wins. Yeah, so it's best of three. Everyone has a big high black, they're tall socks. Yes. And you got to get both socks off, but each sock is one round.

Right. So you get a sock off, you pause for about 30, 60 seconds, go back at it. So it's best of three. Now, what they didn't realize, and no one couldn't realize, is the first match was unbelievable. It was like classic, if you recall. It was like... It was the blonde girl and the... It was a little blonde girl who really rolled. They were like just doing straight up jujitsu.

Yeah. And the other ones kind of were beat downs. It was all like immediate beat down. But the first one was like, it was like one of the best sporting events I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, and it's fun because you watch firstly you don't see a lot of women in a boxing ring going at it like this let alone not trained women these are just skank fans right and it's fun because there's a whole crowd there so these people are on display and they're getting like they

get amped up to rip those socks off I mean the crowd was going wild and I always said it's like the Ninja Turtle live action movie, the first one, where they're at the Shredders, the Foot Clan, whatever they call it. Because it's like a big stadium, or like a cocktail where they're making the drinks in that movie. But everyone was going crazy. The other interesting thing about this sport is,

and they should put it on ESPN or ESPN2 or whatever. Yeah, they should. The thing about it is you get the person's leg trapped and you start pulling the sock but you don't realize because your brain is up here you're like I'm getting their sock but you're also so vulnerable because now you're no longer protecting your feet so a few times you were like oh it's over she's got her sock and no one's paying attention that while she's getting her sock taken She's got her sock faster

It's chest not checkers new favorite sport sock dancer, whatever the fuck it's called sock hop sock hop Good call yeah, that's true David tell had my favorite line because it was these two White trash lounges going at it and two ladies and he goes, oh, it's Waffle House versus IHOP or something like that. Waffle House versus some other. That sounds right. Oh, Hooters. It was, oh, it's Waffle House versus Hooters tonight.

In his voice. He's the kick of it. I couldn't hear what you guys were saying. I could just hear kind of like, that was on the top the top level but no that was awesome. That was a thrill and how about Mike Feeney by the way? Oh, yeah, choked out Sam Tripoli in 18 seconds Brazilian jujitsu match BJJ. Well, I think Tripoli is about 64 years old. Yeah, he might be so Yeah, that adds a that adds a wrinkle. And how about that cigar tent was popping off the whole time

and I was holding court in there. That was fun. Nate came by with his tour manager and that was a lot of fun and telling all the old stories. It's also fun coming back. I was doing spots last night and you're like, oh, you were at Skankfest, you were at Skankfest, and you're kind of like, that's weird

because I have this whole world over there, and then now we're all just back and it's back to normal. It's like we're all in orgy, and then I'm seeing them at the mall. That's a great point. It's a weird feeling after. Yeah, it does feel like kind of back to school. It was like a summer vacation, we went crazy, and now we're back in school and everyone's got their best clothes on.

Right. I was at the cellar last night for my show, and I see Nate on the TV he's doing sets because he's doing SNL. Right. So I was like oh wow Nate's here. It's discombobulating so I run up and I go come do my show. He ran the set. It's killer and I gave him a tag and he hated it. Yeah that's fair. Yeah. It's also fun because you're like I was doing comedy like I mean I'm wearing dirty shorts. Right. I'm literally smoking a cigar. I got a bread socks hat. Now I'm like, I got to go back to wearing a tuxedo and kissing my mother in the lips.

Well, there's no rules out there. Just right. That was fucking awesome. And just being able to smoke and walk and sweat. And it was awesome. I mean, Lewis really has created the dream come true. It's pretty great. It's comedy Disneyland.

And it's every other festival from Montreal, we had a good time. Moon Tower, we had a good time. All these other ones. But this one feels like ours. You know what I mean? I feel comfortable there. And there's debauchery, but it still runs well.

They really figured it out. And there's no real industry there. Fuck them. You don't have to stop and go, oh yeah, well, I'm working on a script and, Oh! Yeah, we'll see. If you pitch that, that would be good.

You don't have to do any of that shit. Suck my ass, industry. It's also just so much fun to watch Lewis having the time of his life. It's like a three day birthday party, or four days for him. Well, there was one day, I don't know if I was supposed to say this,

but me and a couple of cats were out by the pool, and there was the hottest woman of all time bartending at the pool bar and we were like, man, look at her. Holy shit. She's an 11. My God. Next night, guess who's on an arm and arm? Lewis. Wow. Cowboy hat, eye shadow, a full mesh shirt, nipple rings, hand in hand with the pool cunt. He looked gorgeous. And I mean, he's doing magic shows and he's doing a comedy jam, which by the way, comedy jam, I got a, I got a Friday night comedy jam. Best night of my life. Stole the whole tits.

I mean, I got to do two songs, which was quite a thrill. I did. We're not going to take it by twisted sister. And then Josh had a mind, just like, stay up here, we're doing Even Flow. And I was kicking the mic stand and twirling the mic and crowd diving and lady raping. It was just unbelievable. Born for Even Flow.

It was fucking unbelievable. I mean, it was just, I was killing the band rules and I had a great time and it was great to see Bird. He was there, DeRosa was there and Big J and Monas and Feeny and them hang out Feeny and Sagalow and Canon were all on acid which was fun and so Sagalow opened the show with all the

Small things which was fun and he's got a small dick. That's what I said. Well, I first of all he stole my joke I was like, are you singing a song about your dick and then He kept telling me when I'm doing all the small things. I was like, it's about his dick. Yeah, I'm on stage He goes I'm singing a song about my dick and I'm like, how about you throw me credit? Yeah, exactly that hurt at least throw me credit after like thanks for that line. Yeah, that would be something nothing but Great hang with those boys do I love I love those three fucking homos good guys and Monas was the best I was well we were thick as thieves every minute and Hannah I gave a shout out to Katie Hannigan

Oh the hand man we we had breakfast together went got coffee and it was just fantastic By the way Hannigan's always been funny, but I watched her. She's funnier than she's ever been. I was dying She's got some killer stuff. Oh, great. And then I got to be remiss to not mention the world premiere of Tom Dustin, Portrait of a Comedian, which, did you hear any good things? I heard everybody queefed, everybody cried, Tom cried. I heard it was a hit.

Yeah, Ranazizi came into the cigar tent. I guess he was emotional. He's like, I just saw a film. It changed my life. I got to make some calls. Wow. he was emotional. He's like, I just saw a film. It changed my life. I got to make some calls. Wow. Bobby was like, he's literally crying. I mean, I saw Tom talking to Bert and Bert's like, you have a club in Key West?

I'll be there. Right. So I think Bert's going to do like a month residency. Well, I'm nervous because Bert gets mentioned in the film because Tom talks about how he heard Bert being like, if I retired, I would just open a comedy club. And then Tom's like, beat you. Which is scary because Burt's a competitive fella. I feel like Burt's gotta go down there and squash him like a bug.

Nah, he's got kids and an alcohol problem. Well. So to stop. I think they'd be thick as thieves, those two. That's true, that's true, they'd get along. But anyways, the movie went great and we had some technical difficulties because it's Skankfest. Sure. So there was no Wi-Fi in the building and the thing. I don't know anything about technology,

but they're like, we got a guy. He's going to go upload it to an SD card. It's going to take 30 minutes. And I'm like, 30 minutes. The crowd's here. It was like fucking blues brothers where they're chanting and we're late. Yeah. So I went up and just started ripping on the whole festival. I was like, how crazy was I already shitting blood this thing and it was killing. And then I was like, you guys want snacks? I had all these, I was tossing snacks out there and I was like, come up into that Beatles joke. He came up, he did about 12 minutes of material killing and he goes, I don't have any more things I want to do. I go, well, bring out Hannigan Hannigan came out, She did six minutes. She killed.

Wow. Tom and I went up. We were killing. And then finally, a woman from the audience, I've got to give a shout out. I don't know her name. I think she's a singer. I looked at her Instagram.

She was like, Luke Merz is like, I have a hot spot, which I never even heard of that. Outside of a titty bar and Stoughton Mass. Sure. I know a G-spot, but that's a myth. And so he came down. His hot spot wasn't working as hot as hers hot spot. So she came down we used her hot spot to stream the film. Sounds dirty. Oh my god. I just picture a big

projection coming out of her clam. Well, I wanted to pay her in hot spot tickles. Hot spot tickles? Boy, I love that. Hot spot tickles is a good name for herpes. We got it up there and... Oh, it doesn't tickle, it burns, baby. But we got it up there, it went off and all these comics ran as easy. Chloe Lebranche, Cannon, Sagalow, a bunch of people. Aaron Berg came and a bunch of fans, of course, and Standing O, teary-eyed, emotional. Tom Buston came up. He was wiping tears

He told his story about his engagement and we got the world premiere or the whatever the New York premiere on October 10th You'll be there. I'll be there Whatever that means, but when does the world get to see it? That's what I got to figure out. I mean we're in a couple the world get to see it? That's what I got to figure out. I mean, we're in a couple festivals. We're trying to get on festival and then see what we can do. Maybe send it over to old Joe Rogan and see if we can get on there. See if he'll talk about it. Maybe just put it on Punch Up. But you want to get into some kind of streaming. We'll see. I don't know. But hopefully October 10th, Louie will be there. You'll be there. And Ari's come in

and hopefully I can get some what do you call that when you say a thing a plug editorial tutorial right tutorial yeah tutorial tutorial it's not a thing no good yeah what's it called then what you mean in the paper you give a blur you go You go, hey, I just saw this film. It ruled. A review. A review, but not a review. A review is like you sit down at a typewriter and you write a six page essay.

I'm talking about, can I get a, you say into a camera, hey, give me a little thing, and you go, hey, Skankfest was number one. Oh, promo? Tutorial. No, no, no. What's tutorial mean? Doesn't that mean something not tutorial yeah would you give a shout out tutorial what's that where periodicals now that's Positive synopsis plug Shit but plug I don't know

What is it Editorial a couple editorials No, that's written you're talking about a say a verbal yeah we go hey yeah this was the best movie ever no no no no someone's gonna write it I don't know this one the phone's calling in you go let me get it can I get a quick about the festival can I get a quick tutorial editorial? Yeah. She's Toronto stores. Rex. She should get a couple of when you get a quote for a book at the beginning. What's that called? The beginning preface for have all the quotes at the beginning of the book

for word. Could you do a blank for my book forward? That's what it is. A book, a book, you know, in the book it says, best book ever. What is it? No, no, no, not the quote at the beginning of the book, the quote, the promotion, when you open a book, it says, best book of the year, the New York Times. And underneath it says, I was, I was, I was killed by

Pentagram? Tutorial, editorial, all the quotes. Memorial. People talk about how good a book was yeah at the beginning here I'll find one hold on oh shit it says praise advanced praise for this book advanced for it all right by the way I gotta say while you're looking for that that double alliteration name thing was huge what do you mean you know the Marshall Mathers, the Chloe Kardashian, the Ben Bailey, the Ozzy Osbourne. Boy that was a hit. What's this

called right here? Endorsement! That's the one! Get your fat ass back over here. That's it, we got it. And endorsement. I got a couple of endorsements. There it is. Editorial, you had the ED. Yeah that's what it is. Oh I got ED on it. A couple endorsements. You'll endorse it. Endorseial, you had the ED. Yeah, that's what it is. Oh, I got ED, all right. Ha ha ha. A couple endorsements. You'll endorse it. Endorsement, good word. All right. All right.

Anyway, I don't know when this episode comes out. I have no idea what day it is, what month it is, what year it is. What time are we at? I don't know where we are. I think we're going to wrap up. I mean, it's. 55.

Oh, Jesus. All right. Ah, damn. There's your Skankfest, folks. 55, that's Tripoli's age. and yeah, we had a great time. It's gonna be back and I can't wait for next year. I think they're going to New York. I think it's gonna be New Orleans. Alright, well, we'll see. Roll the dice.

But... With the bet on it, unlike Pete Rose. Oh, yeah. RIP. We lost Chris Christopherson and Pete Rose back-to-back. I interviewed Pete Rose one time. Did Jimmy Carter die? No, he turned 100. Oh, but I think he's like John Amos the cookies Well, we only care about one Amos he also died oh Oh, yeah, like ten people died the bald guy died. Yeah, I guess millions people died but

Anyways, oh Yes That's what God said when he tried to get in heaven Limbaugh heck I can't live oh, he's seven nine His fucking fibulas would snap. Oh Yeah, Faber famers hurricane fever Shout out to the North Carolinas they are underwater. Yeah

It's it's pretty brutal. I think Florida got fucked to Tampa's done. What do you mean done Tampa? They one guy opened his front door and alligator swam right over his head. It was crazy. Calta? Yeah. Yeah. Um, but Key West, they were okay. They got us going wet.

All right, Dustin. Well, be careful down there in Florida. All right, we gotta get some plugs in. October 24th through the 26th, I'm at Madison, the mad house, mad city. Woo woo woo. What's it called? Comedy on State. Yeah, that's a hot one.

With a Monas. And then we go straight from there to Chicago. October 27th is totally sold out, thank you. We're adding another day to the taping, October 28th at the Old Town Zany. So we're gonna shoot in both rooms and see what we get. November 9th, Town Hall. It's getting down to it, folks. We're just a few weeks away. November 9th, Town Hall. I need to sell about 47,000 tickets in the next seven days.

If you could tweet it, squinch it, squish it. If you're waiting, now's the time to buy those tickets because every time you don't buy a ticket, they're going to make me go do some radio show I don't want to do. You got that right. those tickets because every time you don't buy a ticket they're gonna make me go do some radio show I don't want to do you know November 9th go to that and I Mean it this time when I say it the patreon is my number one priority in life We just went out we shot some behind-the-scenes stuff. Well Sal Q shot some stuff with no microphone It sounds like fucking the Muppet parents It sounds like fucking The Muppet Parents. It's like,

It's crazy. We had to cut, Lex Sentry's like, I did the best I could. And I was like, could you cut the last 38 minutes of it? I can't hear a fucking thing. Cut that motherfucker right there.

So White Man Can't Jump, hell of a film. Ron Shelton, Bull Durham. So we did a behind the scenes video with Soder and Fiehan and you and me and Kramer and the Butler. We also have the Nick DePaulo and Nate Barghetti. It's like an hour and 20 minute episode.

Banger telling stories left and right. That one's great. He was mostly right. We have the hour and a half episode with Eddie Pepitone, Joe DeRosa and Sam Talent. Sam was bringing the heat. Killed it. He was bringing some serious heat at the very end. And then we also shot behind the scenes, you, me, Monis, and Ronan, and us discussing how bad the episode went. So... Before and after the bonus is behind the scenes. That's like four or five hours of stuff we just shot, hot off the press, that'll be up there. Boy, that is next level Patreon where we shot before a bonus behind the scenes, after a bonus behind the scenes. So behind the scenes of a bonus.

Right. We're going to multiple layers here. We're like, what do you call that? It's the multiverse. Yes, Luke bonus. Yes. And yeah, November 9th, town hall. That's the big one for God's sakes, come.

Yee-haw. All right, I'm going to Chicago theater, going to New Orleans, going to Wilkes-Barre, going to Connecticut, going to Poughkeepsie, marknormancommy.com. Hit us up on Punch Up Live. Yes. Get some bodega cats and I'll see you in Rhode Island, folks. Comedy, praise our luck.