Tuesdays with Stories! - #611 Super Mark E.O.

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Ari Shaffir gives Mark a hot tub - but the whole idea fizzles out when Normando tries to hop in, while Ari hightails it across the globe! Mark also heads to Burlington with Anthony Devito and links up with Ryan Hamilton. Joe closes with an all-time TV show pitch! It’s Tuesdays! Our Stuff: - http://www.patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories - Check out Joe List on Punch Up Live for tour dates, videos, buying tickets and more! https://punchup.live/joe-list - Support the show and get your first month of Blue Chew for free. Just pay $5 shipping. Use promo code TUESDAYS at https://www.bluechew.com - Support the show and get 30% off your first Cornbread Hemp order. Use code TUESDAYS at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/TUESDAYS

Hey Mark, fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do. Great. Good to be here. Welcome to Tuesdays with... Stories! Hit her in the face with a surfboard. And then the duck fell out of his bag!

Ha ha ha ha! Surf's up! And she didn't even flush. Knock knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe List! Yeah! It's Tuesdays with stories everybody!

That's terrible. This is supposed to be cheesy. My radio is spitting at me and I can't choose what I want. Hey folks! Here we are on a balmy Tuesday

afternoon in the borough of Brooklyn. It's a real steam pipe out there. You know when somebody opens a valve and it's like. Yes, yes, Kramer with the bagels. Yeah, and it's not like hot. It's like 69, but the humidity's up my asshole. I'm sweating like Chuck trying to get laid.

It's very unpleasant to a Rupert trying to put pants on. It's sweating for that matter. I very unpleasant or Rupert trying to put pants on it for that matter like Rupert in Iceland Here greeley it's colder, but hey who's who's queefing so uh wait I had a thing now we went off on Rupert Oh, this is how I grew up. This is what New Orleans feels like 800 days out of the year, and you want to kill yourself Yeah, it's very humid, very gray and stinky. And I keep missing the weather. I'm having bad weather luck.

Weekend was gorgeous. Well, I was gorgeous in watch. I was out in the PNW there. Pacific North, Kent. Yes. So wait, West. Thank you. So it was like Cornell. It was beautiful the last two days. Seventy two sunny, which is great. Wait. West. Thank you. So it was like- Cornell? It was beautiful the last two days.

72, sunny, which is great. The mountain was out, which is nice. But it was like 80 the week before, and some people don't like 80. I love 80. You give me 80 blue skies because now I can swim, I can play hoop. If I go for a run, I get more of a sweat. I see. And then you got babes and short shorts and heels and bras and

bikinis. Bring it on. I just want to see those legs. Well you're at the age, I'm with you there, we're at the age where you just want to see a hot clam. I don't want to talk, I don't want to touch, I don't want to photograph, maybe video, but you just want to you just want them around. It's nice. Yeah, you like to see the toes, the knees, the ears, the armpits. You just want a couple hot bitches in your life. Yeah, it's like that Patrice joke where he's like,

I'm just my creepy old man phase. Like, I don't want to hit on a girl at a nightclub, but I want to go to Foot Locker and watch Try On Shoes. That joke about the TSA agent looking at the feet and smelling the shoe is just amazing. He's like, because I know how creepy I am and I know my face is like this, you know? Oh, yeah.

The TSA agent, he's looking real serious, sniffing the shoe, and he's like, but in his mind, whatever. He's very funny. Don't you find it hard as a male, a red-blooded American male, what's your pull? What's your desire to do the turnaround? The gorgeous girl walks by with a clearly hot body.

Everything in me goes, you gotta look. But then you go, hey, don't ogle, don't be a creep, don't stare, but it's a pull, Jerry. It yanks ya. Well, I'm like this with lying and cheating and looking at asses. It's not the moral aspect that prevents me from doing it. It's the getting caught.

Of course, of course. I have no morals. I would like to fuck all the women. I just feel too awkward when you're like, you got me, oh my God, I'm an idiot. And then I'm breaking out in patches and hives and my asshole shits blood. That is bad.

So it's not even like I'm a good guy and we shouldn't ostracize or whatever, objectify women. I'm all for objectifying women. I just don't want to be the guy that's like get a good look, list, and I'm like oh shit. I've had that. Women can just tell you with their face, they're like I caught you pervert. You're like pervert? Well I don't know about pervert. Me being attracted to you is what makes the world go round. We have to perpetuate the species here. It doesn't start with just a date. The guy who's going to marry you is also

going to look at your ass. I'm only a good guy, because I don't want to be a bad guy. I'm not naturally a good guy. Well, this is a big argument, a big topic here, because it's really shame. Shame is good for a society. Shame gilets. You're scared of being shamed.

Right. It's not the fact that you're like, I'm worried, I'm not gonna objectify this young lady, I'm a good person. You're like, I don't wanna get caught and busted. Right. The shame works. Yeah, shame works.

You hear that, fatties? You're next. Shame works, good film production. That could be your team. Shame works. production. Shameworks. That's not bad. I like it. Brought to you by Shameworks or whatever. Yeah, Seamus. By the way, you said red-blooded American.

What's a blue blood? By the way, I know we don't want to point out the window, but there's a guy going the wrong way up the street. Just full bore. 30 miles an hour up the street the wrong way. Wow. Well, good to be. Welcome to the hood. So what the hell is Blue Blood? Blue Blood is a rich guy. He's a blue blood, a Kentucky blue blood.

Blue Blood's like a guy who's old money. What? Blue Bloods. What about the TV show Blue Blood? That's about rich cops. Yeah, they're not cops. Rich people. There's a cop show called Blue Bloods. Oh really?

Isn't that a cop show? Maybe they bleed blue because they're so copy. I thought Tom Selleck and Ray Liotta were in Blue Bloods, and it was a PD show. Oh, maybe. And then there's also blue blood is like a basketball term, isn't it? He's a blue blood.

I never heard of that one. Like college basketball or something, like a real built to be something. Or maybe they're thinking blue grass. Well, that's a music. Right, Kentucky blue grass. Yeah, then there's Blue-E. Country blues bluegrass, CBGB.

Blue-E was the kids show. Well, what do you got on blue blood? I think it's kind of like a pun or like a double entendre, because it is about police. They're all part of these big storied police families. Oh, blue blood. So it's in the blood. It's in the blood of the family.

What's blue blood in reference to sports? Look up blue blood, blue blood. So it's in the blood. It's in the blood of the Leff family. So what's blue blood in reference to sports? Look up blue blood, college basketball. Or am I thinking young blood, true blood, bad blood? True blood's a vampire. Bad blood's when you got beef. Blues Brothers. Then there's blood simple. Then there's...

There's diaper dandy. That's like a young good player. That's Dick Vitell. Dick Vitell, I like that. Dick Vitell, he's a diaper dandy! that's like a young good player. That's Dick Vitell. Dick Vitell, I like that. Dick Vitell, he's a Diaper Dandy. That's also a gay kid. OK, so in American. Blue Chips.

Blue Chips. That's what you're talking about. Yeah, William Friedkin, Nick Melty. Ah-ha, Shag. Great film. And Penny. Hard away. All right, what do you got, Blue Blood?

And then sit down, for Christ sakes. You're making me nervous. Old Rich. It's an American college basketball. Blue Bloods refers to the National College College-Eath Athletic Association Division One programs. They're considered to be the most elite. Oh, like Kentucky Duke.

Yeah, the Blue Bloods. I think like historically the most. You know what I mean? Kansas, UCLA, Blue Bloods. When I think basketball, I think Kansas. So Blue Blood is not old? I guess not. There's a show on TV called Blue Bloods

where everybody's all rich, so I just put those two together. But are they rich? I thought they were cops. I think there's two different shows. Two Blue Blood shows? Maybe I'm thinking of Blue Bloods. I'm thinking of Blue's Clues.

You're thinking of Nots Landing. Ah. Or Dynasty. Okay. What is Northern Exposure? Remember that? I got that confused with the David Lynch. Yes! Twin Peaks! Twin Peaks and Northern Exposure were confusing because it was Northern and Northern. And then to bring it all around, Twin Peaks is a Hooters ripoff. Yes. The rest are with the tits. And then there was Wings. There's a lot of shows that I just missed,

because I was like, what is this nonsense? It looked too adulty. Yes, yes, very drab, very slow. But Wings is what's on a maxi pad. Oh, good point. With Wings. And Wings takes place in Nantucket, one of my favorite places.

It has Thomas Hayden Church, one of my favorite actors. And everyone tells me it's amazing, and I should watch it. But once you miss something, I'm like, I'm not going back and watching a 1992 sitcom that I missed. Yeah. You'll watch the Holocaust. Come again. You watch a documentary on the Holocaust. You missed that. Well, I'll watch a documentary on Wings. If you make a documentary about the show, I'd be happy to watch. I mean, well, they had great casting. They got Hayden Church. They got monk with their Shalhoub. They had the Tim Daly. They had a couple of ringers on that show. Which one's Tim Daly? He's the handsome hot guy, the head pilot. Is he a blue blood?

Possibly. I think he might be. I'm shitting blood. So blue blood is a cop family. No, it's just a rich family, but they're using- Oh, so it is a rich family. What the hell? That's what I said. It's a storied family. Oh, storied. You said it's just a rich family, but they're using it. Oh, so it is a rich family. What the hell? That's what I said. It's a storied family. You said it's a family with cops in the family bloodline. I said double entend. So it's blue blood. Oh, blue as in like cops. You're talking the show.

Also blue blood's like, they're like, this is the family. This is the best cop family. This is from Harvard or something like that. Okay, so it has to be a rich cop. So can I become a Blue Blood family? Like what if Marty becomes like Chris Rock? Maybe Marty's son. And I'm Joe List. Oh, Blue Blood comic.

Are we Blue Bloods? I think we need a different term. If you're dirty, you could be a Blue Blood. I'm very dirty. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Okay, Blue Blood. All right. Blue Blood, maybe that's a special title.

Blue blood. What was yours again, I already forget. The new one? From earlier, that we had that I said was good. Shamegillis? Shame works. Shame works. Your shame works and I'm blue blood.

Yeah, that's the parking stuff. Also, isn't all of our blood blue until it hits oxygen, it gets oxygenated. Is that right? Oh, it's blue, that's why your veins are all blue. Blood is blue inside. Then you get cut. The blood hits the oxygen.

And oh, man, it's red. Blood's blue. Blue blood. I'm telling you. So are all blue bloods. Maybe that's the origin of blue blood. They don't bleed. They don't die.

Bleed. Bleed. They die. Oh, if it bleeds, it leaves. Because you can die without bleeding. That's true. Heart attack. Suffocation. Shitting your pants. Whatever it is. Drowning it bleeds, it leaves. Because you can die without bleeding. That's true. Heart attack.

Suffocation. Shit in your pants, whatever it is. Drowning. In fact, what percentage, now here's a topic. Now we're off to a top. What percentage of deaths involve bleeding? I would say 90. Get the fuck out of here.

Maybe in the African American community. What with all the shootings? Well, the crypts and the bloods. But I'm just kidding. That was supposed to be funny. Don't call me. But I bet it's low. I got diabetes.

Because I think there's plenty of cancer. You're not bleeding. AIDS, you do bleed if you get cut. Yeah, and then you're gonzo. I think it's a small percentage. Because it's basically just stabbings and shootings, which is probably like 3% of deaths. No, stabbing, shooting, you fall off a car accident.

Car accident. You fall off a... Oh, car accident. Car accident. You fall off a roof, you hit your head on the concrete, beaten to death, there's a lot of blood there, blunt force trauma, most falls, any fall, any wreck, bicycle fall, an old man slipped down the stairs, you know, you could have a nose bleed. Fall and accident, but I mean, heart disease is the number one killer.

Cancer's up there. Yeah, you got a lot of suicides are hanging. Because that's a big thing. Pills, cirrhosis. Good point. OK, maybe you got something there. He's looking at his phone. Not 50-50. It's still 70-30. All right. All right. Well, I'm looking at blue blood. It's actually about veins. That's where the original term comes from. Wow.

I know my alleys. Vane diesel. By the way, concrete, asphalt, cement. What's going on there? All the same? Different? I think they're different. Asphalt is black.

That's black. Like the neighborhood. And then concrete is a mix. But concrete and pavement are the same. That's true. I think. I think you're right. I think you make concrete and pavement are the same. That's true. I think. I think you're right. I think you make concrete and you make cement.

What is cement? Oh yeah, that's the one I was thinking of. Cement and pavement and concrete. Yeah, good point. Concrete's more of a parking. You don't really have a concrete that's like wahhhhhh on the, in the parking garage. Oh really?

It gets gray and smooth. Yeah, where cement's a little chunkier. Cement can be smooth, but I think it's chunky. Yeah, we'll get a read on that too, but we're breaking down societal dorms here. This is great. I think asphalt is more, I mean I didn't look it up yet. Asphalt's little black pebbles glued together. Well, I think it has more traction because cars drive on it, so it's better for your rubber and your wheels. Oh. That's what I'm guessing, but let's see. Where the rubber meets the road. Yeah. It's not my asphalt.

But I will say the blue blood thing is that the lower class people work outside and have sun tans. The blue bloods, the rich, they're all pale and you can see their blue veins. Oh, that's good. That's good. Blue bloods, I don't want to be a blue blood. Yeah. Blue blood's bad.

Why, you don't want to get out, you want to get outside? I like to be outside. Yeah, I blood's bad. Well. Why? You don't want to get out? You want to get outside? I like to be outside. Yeah, I guess so. I love outside. But then there's blue collar, which is back to outside.

Right. Well, that blue collar's inside too, though. You're under the car. You're in the garage. That's true. You're in the... But I've said you make less money usually if you're blue collar. Right.

And then blue blood is rich. But now white collar, they're going to be AI'd out of here. Hopefully. Let's see. Take that, Jews. And then there's really only two collars. Like white collar could be a priest. Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

But their collar is mostly black. That's true. Like the neighborhood. Hitler's stash. Yeah, that's true. Good point. It's a little bit of white. But then this cop, the head cop, is white collar because he's true. Good point. It's a little bit of white but then this cop the head cop is white-collar

Because you've got a white shirt and the boys in blue are on the on the beat right then you have the dress blues And here's one for you when they go that's hands down the best restaurant I've ever been to where do you get hands down? Don't shoot down thumbs up What's hands down from? Hands down means yeah, there's no no one can raise their hand. Oh this blondie just looked at me right as I raised my hand. I think hands down I think they're like what's the best restaurant? Everyone raises their hand and someone says Del Frisco's okay hands down. That's gotta be it. Hands down fucking fuck you don't volunteer don't try to give me an answer.

I think you nail the hand of God. He's the best talk to them Yeah, there's like nine different colors. Oh Get out of here with this shit That's enough googling. Come on. It's white collar and blue collar collar green. What's there a red collar? No red color What's the red color? That's the only one I want to hear red collar government workers That's the only one I want to hear. Red collar government workers. Get the fuck out of here. Government workers.

No, get out of here. That one's wearing red. Yeah, what do we live in, Death Star? They have a red tie, maybe. I have others. What's purple? Purple is- That's gay.

Rolls that bridge white and blue collar, often in IT or technical fields. Ah, the Indians. This is all nonsense. They're just filling it in. It's blue and white. They have yellow? You got a dress shirt and yellow collar. That's a Simpson. I don't know. It's ring around the collar. I had a yellow collar in high school.

Cirrhosis. No yellow but there is gold. Gold collar. That's a wrestler isn't it? Isn't that Dustin Rhodes? Highly skilled professionals such as doctors, lawyers, and scientists often with high earning potential. Wow! Yeti wears a white lab coat, these doctors, so it's all out of whack. Now here's something I hadn't thought of in a while. I dropped my niece off at school every day this past week. I was out in Tacoma, and nephew. The principal, he's got like slacks and just kind of a regular shirt and a vest. No suit! Now when I was a boy, the principal, to both assistant principals, all suit,

shirt and tie, suit every day. You see less and less suits. Basketball coaches don't wear suits anymore. Football coaches, yeah, COVID ended the basketball coach suit business. And football coaches haven't worn suits since the 40s. And the principal has no suit. Wow, the principal's got to have a suit.

At least a tie. At least a button down. No, it was no button down. Wow. It was like, no, that was a Danzig t-shirt, which I thought was a little strange. What the fuck? Oh my god.

I made it the part about the Danzig t-shirt. But the rest is true. A couple of misfits running around. He had rolled up sleeves and khakis and sneakers. Danzigzag. They got to change sleeves and khakis and sneakers. Ah, and zigzag. They gotta change that. That's no good. My principal was Mr. Goodwin and he was buttoned up. He had a big, thick, push broom mustache and glasses and his hair was swooped and squaffed. We had Mr. Otis. I mean, this guy was trouble. Otis Spunkme. It was bad news and yeah I was scared of that guy. He was an old

black man. He was like a Morgan Freeman type. Oh. You don't fuck with Otis. Now did you have what we had because our principal was, oh Mr. Goodwin was our middle school principal. Mr. Gay was a high school principal. What is he asking for? He's going right to the crow's nest. But he was a Hall of Fame wrestling coach. He's like one of the great high school wrestling coaches of all time. Boys named Sue. He had to go on the opposite. He had to overcome.

He was, yeah, everyone was calling him a homo. And he said, well, how do you like this? And he jackknifed him. Yeah. Cracked him in the jaw. And kicked him in the balls. Although that wrestling onesie is not too nice in the hetero world. Well, particularly because in high school, they only have three jerseys.

So you got a guy Rupert size wearing a onesie that's for a 115 and under. Yeah, singlet. I mean, that's a thong all the way up his tits. That's bad news for the Rupert. But our assistant, sorry, this is like- Well, it strikes fear in the other opponent. Imagine you see Rupert wearing a dental floss string going all the way down, you're like,

okay, you win, if that guy pins me, I'm going to China. By the way, Rupert's not coming tonight, right? We called him off. He's not coming. Thank Christ. That's 20 minutes we could've done on that fat bastard. I know, but still, I mean, he went, first of all, he wouldn't fit in Grove 34,

plus we've been going a little- That's true. We've gone a little full bore on him lately. I can't ever see this man again. He's a Grove 35. I mean, I can see him now at his house in Queens. That's an eclipse. But did you have this?

And I might have asked this before. I kind of have some recollection of Doc. Our principal didn't do any disciplinary. He was almost like the face. Yeah, we have to say we had Coach Hines, he was the disciplinarian. Well we had assistant principal and it was Edwin P. Walsh. And he was a serious number. He was 6'8 if he was a foot, gray mustache. Everyone had a mustache back then. And he was scary as shit.

We had Coach Hines, he was about 4'1 scariest man on the planet. I mean my high school had like big, school had big NFL black guys in it and he would strike fear into the hearts of these poor black young youths. My God. He was just so, he was so stern. Like you never saw him smile, never saw him laugh, never saw him hesitate, never saw him flinch. He was just eye contact and he had a little mustache as well.

And he was always chewing gum like a Burt Reynolds character. He was like, this whole movie about hamburgers. Yeah, you're expelled. He would ruin your life. But everybody was scared of Coach. Coach Heinz walked in the room, a hush came across the crowd. Now how about this? Let me ask you this, because you're in the know, you're online a lot, you know things, TikTok and Twitter and the business. Tick-not-on. Rest in peace.

What do you know about 6'7"? 6'7"? You know 6'7"? The height? Sort of. No, I don't know. You ever heard this? No, no, fill me in fast.

Chuck, you know about 6'7"? No. 6'7"? No, it's six seven. So this is a massive if you Google Six-seven Jen alpha. What's the young generation? Jen alpha Jen alpha and this bait after that they are obsessed with Six-seven and it started with a basketball player. Okay, that makes who said they said how tiny went six seven Oh, and then they made a tick a TikTok, and then a rap song,

and a hip hop song, and now it's, pfft. Wow. It's, Zara put it well, it's their Dee's Nuts. Remember Dee's Nuts? Oh yeah, do I remember Dee's Nuts? I invented Dee's Nuts. Everything is six, seven with these kids. And so my nephew, my blood nephew,

my blue blood nephew in Massachusetts, he's 16, he knows about six, he told me about six, seven originally, cause I said, I will probably go there at six, seven, and he's like, was that on purpose? You know six, seven? And I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, six, seven is a thing, that's a big thing, and he told me about it, so I kinda heard about it,

and then I went out to see my niece who's 13, and her brother's eight, in Washington, which is always festive that everything's just international. And that was before internet, by the way. Yes, exactly. Smelted Delta made it all over the globe. Yeah, and kids still, I'm on the playground, two-year-olds go, nana, nana, boo, boo.

I'm like, what the fuck is nana, nana, boo, boo? Who's boo, boo? Who's nana? And I'll tell you, Christmas is going to come around, Batman smells, Robin, later, hey. No one teaches that, but they all pick it up. Somehow it's there, little Bo Peep, Blow Rupri. 69, how do you pick up 69? That's out there.

I've tried to pick it up, but my wife never showers, so I can't. It's, I gotta put toothpaste on there. I don't know what I'm talking about. Not a bad idea, a vagina brush. Hey, that's pretty good. All right, I'll do it on shark tank That reason I'm out shark tank That one boy. Yeah, we did I believe something that's something but yeah, you know, you got something here and what's interesting is

This is why you can't predict what's going viral You could get in the lab with 12 gen alpha twink queef cum guzzlers and you go, I need something by 9 o'clock and they're going to go, we got this. And you go, all right, what do you got here? Deez nuts. Fuck my ass. My dad's gay. This is all trash. Six, seven, to the moon. It's huge. You can't help it. I also just found this out. I was reading up on B-movie because I put B- Bee Movie on the plane. The Seinfeld Joint? Correct. And I was reading about the plot is ludicrous by the way. It's a clever title though. And yeah it's fun. Bee Movie. And

it's about a platonic love story between a woman and a bee. It's very strange. Bee Stiality. Bee Stiality. Oh yeah. That's good. Thank you. So anyways, I was watching that. I googled that. That went viral years later. Somebody made a, it's all memed out, and it's very popular amongst the youth. Yeah.

And somebody made a cut of it where the speed doubles or speeds up every time somebody says B. And the movie, they made the movie seven minutes long. Oh, wow. Because they say B 300 times. So it keeps getting faster, but then it's going like this. And the movie's they made the movie seven minutes long. Oh wow. Because they say B 300 times, so it keeps getting fast, but then it's going like this, and the movie's seven minutes long. And that went viral.

That went viral, that's what I'm saying. Who could predict that shit? We gotta think outside the box. I guess so, but six, it's just the rhythm. If you said six, seven, nobody would care, but six, seven. So let me tell you about the six, seven business. So now, everything is a six seven joke. Mike Derek was like you're going to hear six seven a million times. And so what

I do is I'm like I'm going to I'll make it uncool. I'll do more six seven. I'm a professional comedian. Yeah. Six seven this woman. But you're a boomer queef. If you do it it's out. Exactly. So I did it so much. My niece is like right come on It's like what uh that's what she said it's exactly like Everyone did that and burnt it to hell right so that's what I was gonna do I'm doing a service So anyways we drop her off at school. She's in this is seventh grade. Yes the principal is how I saw the principal He's outside greeting people He's got his like Marty McFly vest on and sleeves rolled up in a pair of fucking flip-flop. Go to Joseph A. Bank, would it kill you? I know, you're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it.

So she's walking into school, I roll down the window, I go, Brooke, we'll pick you up in six, seven hours. Oh! And everyone goes, oh! And the principal goes, what? Oh, that's great, that's great. He doubled over, her shoulders, she was like embarrassed. Oh, what are you doing?

The kids went, ah! It killed Jerry. That's gold, that's gold, she should be blowing you. And it's perfect, so wow, that's a little unusual. But six, seven hours. Yes. It's perfect, killed Jerry. That's gold.

So then I came out and she like ran back, she's like, don't do a thing again. And she's like, please, don't let Joe drop me off. And I was like, that was gold. Yeah, she's gonna be getting high fives all night. So anyway, 6'7 is huge. I kept saying, oh, what time, how many times did you blow me? 6'7.

Oh, that's funny. It's big. There goes your wife again. I wonder. Baby's just all alone up there. Is she good looking? What did you say about 6'7? Oh, she's 13.

But 6'7 combined, 13. Hey, seven. Oh. All right. She's 13. But six and seven combined, 13. Hey, look at that. It's all connected there, you fucking dickless queefs out there. So can I tell you one more quick one? No one's gonna be interested. I love this. You're teaching me things.

I'm educated. So then we are playing, you know, bop it. I love bop it. You do? You know it? I don't bop it. Twist it. Pull it.

Pull it. Yank it. Crank it. Finger it. So, my nephew played baseball all weekend and they won the championship. I was very excited. So they gave him a bop it. What was the scores? Six, seven.

See, now I'm wearing it out. Well, the score, you usually say the higher score first. A bit of a stretch. You don't know what you're doing over there. I'm learning. I'm workshopping. Yeah, shit. Bit of a stretch. You know, you don't know what you're doing over there. I'm learning. I'm workshopping. Yeah, absolutely. But anyways, so they gave him a Bop It as like a,

they gave him a trophy, but then the coach gave him a Bop It. He brings home the Bop It. Wow, is he special needs? Who gets a Bop It as a gift? He might be. Oh. Well, Bop It's fun. So anyways, we're trying to set the high score.

I suck at Bop It, by the way. Bop It ain't easy. My highest score was seven. Six, seven. it's fun. So anyways, we're trying to set the high score. I suck at Bop It by the way. Bop It ain't easy. My highest score was seven. Six, seven. I got seven. And everyone has 35, 39, whatever. My friend Erica goes, she's like, I'm setting the high score. She goes and it's a long run. Bob squeeze it, pull it, jinx it, fuck it, squirt it, finger it, blood it, blue it. Uh-huh. Yeah, girls are good at it. She stops, she finishes and they go, new high score, six, D, seven. And we all went crazy. I had an ice water, I threw it in the air. My niece literally pissed her pants from laughing. Everyone went crazy. It was one of those moments.

It's one of those family fun moments. Now, sure, this show used to be you eating out a homeless woman. Sure. And me, pretty much the same thing. I didn't really ever do any of that stuff. But still, you know, you fuck people. We say racist stuff. It's funny. And now it's come to bop at 6'7".

Yeah. But boy, was it something. Well, you know what's the saddest part about all this is we keep saying 6'7, so it might help the algo Isn't that that's you know, like a ride told me years ago He's like sometimes just say Trump in a podcast and it pops up that never works for me People get pretty upset when I mention it. That's true. By the way, the anti-war candidate you guys nailed it Iran is that's a cool cucumber.

They're gonna be fine. Both wars have ended, just like he said. And get yourself a new gold phone, by the way. He's got a phone plan. Have you seen that? Huh? No. He's got his own phone and phone plan. I know about the Golden Dome.

I know about the Golden Phone. No, no, Trump has a gold phone. What's that mean? You can buy a gold phone and be on the Trump plan. It costs $46.48 or whatever the hell it is, whatever numbers he was, $45.47. Oh, $45.47. Yeah, and you can be on a phone plan with Trump. Ah, that sounds...

Yeah, makes sense, right? Sure. Anyways, good guy. All right, gold phone. I never know he was raping children too, according to Elon. Which that went away. So that's fun. By the way, the most relatable thing Elon's ever done was deleteing children too according to Elon. Which that went away. So that's fun. By the way, the most relatable thing Elon's ever done was delete that and be like, sorry.

I mean we've all gotten too fucked up and be like, Sheila you cunt. And then be like, sorry, I was in a keyhole. My bad, my bad. Yeah, I had six, seven beers. You know, he's an entrepreneur, billionaire, inventor. But this tweet business, I'm like, ah, I get it. He's like, I got inside knowledge, Trump's been fucking kids for years,

and he's like, ah, sorry about that, I was being a silly goose. Same thing to many exes. Yeah, what are you gonna do? They were pedophiles. But anyways, six, seven, principal, my father's gay. You hit me, Bing Bong was a big one. Bing Bong?

Remember Bing Bong? Hot Oil! Five years ago, that's not our Asian delivery driver. Bing! Bing Bong was just a guy on the internet went, Bing Bong! And so people were just saying that all the time. And my producer at the time, my clip editor was like,

get Bing Bong into a clip, you'll go viral. So I'm up there going, you guys ever try Frosted Flakes? You have it, bing bong! This guy, he wins the prize and then eight people watch the clip. Dude, if bing bong is viral, we should be huge. I do bing bong every episode. It was seven years ago. Bing bong, bing bong. Oh, I see. Bing bong. Yeah, sounds like a doorbell. I think that's what it was about. But either way, there's these little things that happen every...

Remember when a lady wearing a Chewbacca mask was laughing hysterically in a car? And that was like... No. Every channel, every news story, every YouTube was this lady, the Chewbacca mask. See, I always miss all this stuff because I'm... I don't want to sound like I'm virtue signaling because I am online as much as everybody. Sure. But I'm looking at John Boy baseball videos, baseball arguments, and like old film debates. So I don't, I miss out on the Chewbacca. I never saw the Chewbacca. And I don't know anyone about six, seven from

my niece and nephew. Yeah. Yeah. But Dee's nuts. That's a good analogy. Yeah. Sarah nailed that one. At least now with the internet, you can just shoot it out to the world. But how do we do it word of mouth? I don't know. We were talking about this same thing this weekend. The Beatles were playing gigs in England and they were the biggest thing. They showed up at the airport at JFK International Airport in 1964 on February 2nd. They were records.

You could buy a record. And there was 50,000 people there going, oh my god. Yeah, yeah. But how does the record get from there to the United States and spread across America? Radio. How do they know about the record? Radio. I guess radio, yeah.

But I guess, you know, how does one DJ hear from the other DJ? Sure, sure, yeah, it spreads. It's just going. It spreads around. And then people go, we want to hear this thing. And then word of mouth. I don't know, phone calls.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's a wacky thing. But it's sadly, it's the only thing, 6-7 is the only thing bringing the country together. You know, we're all watching different shit, we're listening to different, you got your pod, you got your Spotify playlist, you got your YouTube, you got your Netflix. This is, rarely do we come together. Even like the Super Bowl, people are like, I hated it, it sucked, I don't watch that shit. This and like Squid Game. like the Super Bowl. People were like, I hated it. It sucked. I don't watch that shit. This

and like Squid Game. It's rare to get the whole country tuned in. I didn't care for Squid Game. Oh, I loved it. I can't remember what it was. I don't think I watched it. Was that the one with the levels on the floor? Levels on the floor. Maybe. That might have been there. That movie. That movie I hated. Well, this is a TV show. Oh, okay. Yeah. Different. It was similar to Squid Game though. Levels on the floor. Is that Crystal is a TV show. Oh, OK. Yeah. Different. It was similar to Spoon Game, though.

Levels on the Floor. Is that Crystal Lea? Levels on the Floor. You know what I'm talking about? It was like levels. It was like an analogy or a metaphor for class. It was Asian. It was an Asian movie.

And there was a dubbed version. And there was a subtitled version. Director Bing Bong. And they keep trying to go up. And there's food. All the food is at the bottom, there's food involved. Snowpiercer. Snowpiercer is a train.

No, this is different than that. But maybe the same director. I think it's Bong Ho Ju face. No, no, he did Snowpiercer. He did a bunch of them. All his movies about class. But this was a different one. But Parasite is amazing.

I heard the new 17 stinks. Something 17 Billy 17. Oh, it's horrible. Horrible. Mickey, Mickey six seven. Yeah, that's what it was. Six seven. Horrible. Horrible movie. Hey folks. Tuesday stories brought to you by blue chew. You know, we love the blue chew. If your dick is malfunctioning, it's time for some Bluechew. Bluechew is the brand you know and love for offering chewable tablets for better sex. Now they're launching something new. Bluechew Max combines the active ingredients of Viagra and Cialis into one chewable. Wow.

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Just head to cornbreadhemp.com slash Tuesdays and use code Tuesdays at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com slash Tuesdays and use code Tuesdays at checkout. Thank you. Oh my God, we're a half hour in. We haven't even done a story. Wow, that was fucking great. Let me just check out the video. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat.

I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and put it in the chat. Oh my god, we're a half hour in, we haven't even done a story. Wow, that was fucking great. Let me just throw this at you. Okay, Ari, our dear pal, Dewey Ari Shaffir Factor, he is moving to Kuwait or wherever the fuck he goes.

is he's moving to Kuwait or wherever the fuck he goes. Oh, I hope he goes to Kuwait. But he goes, hey, I'm moving. I got a hot tub with your name on it. Oh yeah, I was with him that day. Oh really? I saw him, he's like, yeah, Mark's, oh no, I was with his friend who was like, oh yeah, he's at Mark's with the hot tub.

Yeah, yeah, so he's like, I don't want this to go to waste and no one else has the room for it, so you can take the hot tub. I go, free hot tub? What am I, gay? Bring it over there, hebe. So he shows up and I thought like, yeah, you can just show up, set it up,

and you know, hightail it out of there. He's like, no, no, this is a full day. We have to like bring it to your house, blow it up, heat it, clean it, you know, set it up. And I didn't realize it. So we get all of it done. We're out there sweating. I got the hose in there, you know, it's filling up. He's like checking it. He's like, now we can turn the heat on. Then he's putting chlorine tablets in. He's showing me how to do it. You got to put this hose with that. But you already have hose in it? That was fast.

Folks. In different area codes. And so it was a whole thing, we're sweating, I got a headband on, I'm shirtless, I'm really a pool boy. So the wife comes out with iced tea and orange slices, how you guys doing out here? We're good, we got music playing. And then we finally, the sun's going down, we finally get this thing going, and I go, all right, well, I gotta go do shows.

He's like, well, leave it running, let the heat cook, this thing's gonna take two days to heat. And I go, all right, well, two days from right now, I'm getting in this thing with a cocktail and a wife naked. You're like Jean Paul. Yes, this son of a bitch is ice cold. So, every day, you know, that night I finish the show, as I get back I check it, oh it's at 81.

I go to bed, I wake up, oh it's at 92, oh baby, we're getting in tonight. You need to hit above your body temp, which is. 98.6. So I was like, when it gets to 99, I'm getting in. So, meanwhile it's summer, so it's not the ideal time for a hot tub time machine, but fuck it. So I go, tonight's the night, bitch.

Take off the skivvies, get the blender going with the margaritas, put the music on, we are going in that tub. Okay. Get out there, take the cover off, steam. Ooh. Okay. Get out there. Take the cover off. Steam. Oh, beautiful. Just the light from the tub and the steam in the air. It looked like pulp fiction with the briefcase steam McQueen. Yes. Yes. Anchor steam. So, uh, I get one leg in it. All thing collapses. What it was running out of air, Jerry.

The case, the cover was keeping it together. Oh. It just melted right under my asshole. Hot water goes everywhere. It's short-circuited. Sparks are flying. The lady dries up. The whole thing was ruined.

I got bitten by a bug. I mean, it was over. So you can go take a look. So it's gone? It's just one deflated magnum condom, just wet. Now there's all kinds of bugs in it. I called R, he goes, I'm in Alaska. I said, you fucking chooch, you screwed me.

Oh Jesus, so what did you guys do wrong? I think he set it all up, but I watched him, which I really didn't, I was checked out, and he must have not screwed it up all the way because it wasn't sealed. Oh not screwed it up all the way because it wasn't sealed. Oh, he screwed it up all right. Well, he didn't twist it, yank it, bop it. And now it's, I think it was just slowly leaking and then once I put a little weight on it,

went down like a boner at Chuck's house. Oh my God. Yeah. Geez, that sucks ass. Sucks, so now I just got a big Plop of plastic out there like a spy balloon fell in my backyard. He should come and get it. Well, he's in Alaska Well ask him to come back That's crazy Juno well also

Both in two different jokes, I said you want to come back? He said, Juneau, but Juneau's is fun. He's in Juneau's, Alaska. That's good stuff. This is the problem. I mean, Ari, he always has the, first of all, you and Ari don't always mix well because Ari is one of these guys Who's like he got all shit? I take free shit. I'll come over and we'll just make a day of it We'll build the wall. We'll paint a fucking structure. Is he Mexico? Well, you know, well we'll do because Ari This is the thing that's frustrating about Ari Whenever he makes a big life decision, he thinks everyone else has made it also. Like he's like, hey, why do you have your phone?

I threw my phone away. Oh, I see. And you're like, okay, well I didn't, and I have a son, so I don't understand. So he's like, I'm taking the month of 2028 off. He goes, so what do you say? I come over, we paint daisies, and we pick flowers, and we have a tickle fight and we switch wives.

And you go, all right, well I have six podcasts. And he's like, well what the fuck? You're like, I didn't know we were doing a 12 hour work project. I did not know. And you're the opposite by the way. Yes. You squeeze everything in. I'm all Windows. He squeezes out.

Yeah. You're Windows, he's Google or whatever. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Microsoft, whatever. What's the other one? Not Windows. I have no idea. Oh, OS, Mac. Mac. Mac. I still don, there you go. Microsoft, whatever. What's the other one, not Windows? I have no idea. Oh, OS?

Mac. Mac. I still don't know the difference between PC and Mac. Mac is Apple. Mac's Apple. Mac's Apple. PC's Microsoft. Microsoft.

And Microsoft is Bill Gates. And Chuck. Why does Bill Gates have all the money? Because Microsoft, I hear about way less than Apple. Apple won, Microsoft too. But Bill Gates is like the richest man in the world. And I never hear anyone less than Apple. Apple won, Microsoft too. So, but Bill Gates is like the richest man in the world and I never hear anyone go, Hey, I got a Microsoft. I think Cook is more than Bill. I don't think so.

I think Apple's way up top. But he must, Bill Gates must have other things. Cause I always hear he's the most richest guy now Bezos or whatever the fuck. But Apple competes with Android because of, because of the iPhone. So that's a different thing versus computers. You know what I mean? So Apple's big from the iPhone, but Windows is not really trying to compete in that space.

And I think IBM? So what's Dell? Dell's just a computer brand. That's a PC, which is Microsoft. Microsoft Windows is the operating system. Dell makes it. What's Safari? Safari is the opposite of... That's Apple. Right. He's an Internet Explorer. It's a search explorer. But isn't that what Dell is? I'm seriously retarded. Dell's a brand of computer like BMW is a brand of car.

But Apple's a brand of computer also. Yes. And iOS is the operating system. But Dell doesn't have an iPhone, it doesn't have operating system. But Dell doesn't have an iPhone, it doesn't have an iPod, it doesn't have an iPad, it doesn't have a whatever. Now who's the farmer in the Dell? What the hell's a Dell? A Dell's a singer. And a waitress at the stand. It's a manager, easy. Jesus. Oh boy. Well I seriously, I'm not even trying to be funny. I have no I can't wrap my people like you have a Mac or an IP address and Intellectual property address. I don't know then this Chris Dellea. So I never met him. I met him once He DM'd me. I was 17 but I'm just kidding. What time Mike? I think I told you this. Mike, I've never watched Delia's comedy too much,

but Mike Kaplan, he's like 20 years ago was doing his act. He was doing Chris to Leah's act for me and I was on the floor. I hope for once he destroyed like, and like Eddie Murphy. Tell me that. Murdered. But this is where, this is where I'm such a, that was years ago. Moron by the way. People are like, this is this guy's jokes. And I'm like, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. I'm not going to watch. Oh yeah. I had this with Maniscalco too. They play one clip of his on comedians and cars. I literally was rolling around and shitting my pants laughing. And I just never watched another minute. I got problems. Why is that? You think? Cause I go, all right, I gotta check

this guy out. This is why, This is why I don't watch comedy. Please. Because I have so little free time, and I love sports, and I love movies. Right. And you're living enough comedy. You're consuming thousands of hours of your own comedy and other people at the cellar who are before you.

Right. I watch comedy when I'm there, and I just think it doesn't translate to TV, even though please watch our specials. But you're familiar with the old stuff. Which stuff? You know, the old Louie, the old Carlin, the old Pryor. Well, before that I was obsessed with comedy.

Now obsessed in a different way, cuz it's my job. Yeah. But before that I was way into comedy also. I had more free time also. I didn't have a job. So I would watch comedy in the morning and then a movie at night. Now I'm watching My Baby in the morning and The Baby at night. Now here's a scary question. Do you worry if you watch all this old comedy of all this

knowledge of Cosby and Pryor and Carlin and Steve Martin, Seinfeld in the 80s. Are you not watching new comedy? Maybe you get out of touch. But then you're at the clubs every night, so that's different. Yeah, you're at the club every night and you try to peek in, you see a clip here or there. And then you have a show and then you watch the people. I'm sound like Cosby.

You watch the people as they come by and do the spot before you. That was my reaction like Cosby. You watch the people as they come by and do the spot before you. That was my reaction to Cosby. Ah, I see. But anywho, what else we got? We got to record seven more hours today, so we better come up with some stuff fast. So the hot tub is, it needs repair.

Art was like FaceTime me. So then we did a fucking tag, FaceTime tag, where I was like, I FaceTime him, no answer. Then I go put the baby to bed, and then he's FaceTiming me. So then we did a fucking tag, FaceTime tag, where I was like, I FaceTime him, no answer. Then I go put the baby to bed and then he's FaceTiming me and I'm like, I'm trying to turn the phone off. It's like, the baby's like, and then I FaceTime again after that, he didn't answer. And then I went to a show and he's FaceTiming me while I'm on stage. So he's already in fucking Albuquerque. Right. Albuquerque, Alaska yeah he's a yeah he's a bounder and every time I see him or his big bound friend there I'm like hey we

gotta we gotta hang out we got a boat he sounds like a gay guy in the 50s hey with his friend by the way did you cut the other thing did you make cut that motherfucker but did you make note yes son, I'm an onion. You know what I mean This too, by the way but Every time I see him or him his boyfriend Tony. I'm like we gotta go to the boat. We gotta ride bikes We got a rent balloons and then they go. All right. Well, I'm gone. We go to Africa for six months I go I'm in Washington for three weeks. Yeah. And then you go, all right, I just actually won't see you again.

Well, hopefully it goes to Iran, because after that hot tub, I'm a little frosty. I think it's Iran. I was doing some crowd work. You were there. Iran, Bennington. No, that wasn't you. That was somebody else.

No, it was you. Yeah, it was at SESH. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I feel like you lost that footage. Oh, boy. Iran, Iran, Iran. But I met a boy. Iran, Iran, Iran, Iran. But I met a guy from Iran and he was saying Iran.

And I was like, we said Iran. Iran, like that Asian guy saying Elon Musk. Right, Elon Musk. Iran, yeah. Ha-dong. OK, that's how I remember it, Iran. Iran. Bing bong.

But this is one of those things though, I'm like, do we say it the way they say it? Because they also say, Italian. I remember having this argument years ago from an American comedian who has Italian blood. She was like, no, no, it's Italia. And I'm like, but we're not, we're speaking English. I'm English.

I don't say Estados Unidos. Right. That doesn't make sense, but you know what I mean. I don't say Mexico. No, you don't go, I went to Chile last year. You You can but then you're that guy. Yeah, it's like Italia It's Italy. We're American. And imagine doing that to them if some Iranian was here and they were like It's good to be here in America and you go it's America, right? America, but I have an accent, right? They have an accent so you let it slide Iran Iran Iran. I

Don't know Yeah, hopefully We don't have to worry about that. So yeah, I gotta tell you about my weekend unless you want to go no, no, please Well, how about that did the egg? Oh It's this weird thing go to Albany it's this shit town that's crumbling, the infrastructure's all gone to hell, it was a boom town, it's the capital for some reason. And give us the capital! I know! What the fuck is this?

It's like making Stephen Baldwin the capital. No, it's Alec! They're making decisions about our fair city, way up in Albany, they're jealous, they're idiots, they're cunts, they're cocks, and all of a sudden they go, oh, we're destroying this neighborhood, and you go, well, who made this decision? Some ass wipe in fucking Albany. Three hours north. Makes no sense. We're the capital of the world, but they're the capital of the state. It's kooky. And what the hell's a Hokel? I don't know. So I was up there, and the egg is just like flat, gray city, and then there's just a weird spaceship looking thing right in the heart of it. You're like who picked that?

I mean, I'm glad it's here. It's cool looking. It's awesome in there, but it's just such a weird out-of-place thing It's like this is clit in the middle of the city. I think it was Bob egg Bob egg. He's good So, you know you go do the egg and whatever. It was fun. It's a cool ass room. It took a while to fill because it's all one elevator. Oh. Because it's a little base that goes up and the egg sits on it and everybody's got to go up that elevator. I've always wanted to see it because I've been outside the egg many times back when I used to be bold enough to walk around Albany. Sure. And I'd see the egg and I'm like, how is this a theater? Cause you can't see anything. It looks like the bean in Chicago. It's kind of like that look. Flick the bean. And I always

was like, what is, how is it working? What's it look like in there? And then there you are. There you are. And it's cool. It's just when you're in there, you're like, I'm in an egg. It's rounded and the seats go up like that and it's just a killer I'm surprised more specials aren't shot there. The seats are red and it just vaulted and curvy. It's really cool You should especially called it scrambled egg. Hey Excellent or the the yolks on you Hey, it's yokel. Hokel. Oh All right, I think this is a top 10 episode right here.

Top 10, easy peasy. So we do the egg, and then we go to a bar after the egg. I like to have one or two cocktails before bed. It's the road! Sure. So we go to the one bar we can find. Oh, but it's one of these, everything rolls up at 1130. So we, high tilt to the bar.

The whole show is at the bar, so you go, ah. But the guy I was with, Tito, he wanted to watch. Francona? Garza. Oh, I don't know Tito Garza. He was a wreck, DeVito wrecked him. So I used him, he had a car. And then he wanted to watch the NBA game, the playoffs.

Sure. So we go to this bar, and they're playing Poltergeist. And I go, hey, anyway we get the game? And the guy goes, sure, boop, boop, boop. So now I get this bar and they're playing poltergeist and I go, hey, anyway, we get the game and the guy goes, sure. So now I get the whole bar watching the game. It's fun. We're hooting and hollering and we go to bed. Well, DeVito meets us. Tito goes home. Me and DeVito get drunk and then drive to Burlington the next day. Tito and DeVito, that could be a show. Ooh. What happened to TiVo? Tim TiVo, the Christian football player.

No, the channel recorder. Oh, yeah, TiVo. I think that's a Dell. Huh? Or a Microsoft. I don't know. Oh, Jesus Christ. This is going to be a long night. No, we're cooking. Oh, yeah. We cook.

We're cook. So, yeah, we're cooking. Oh yeah. We're cook. So yeah, we go drive to Burlington, four hour drive, three hour drive, whatever it was, beautiful rolling hills, the cows, the farmhouses, then we pass a bunch of no Kings parades. Oh yes. I felt like Bobby Kennedy, like the old one who got shot. I'm just driving through like America and people like waving American flags and it's these little towns just driving through America, and people are like, woo, waving American flags, and it's these little towns with white picket fences,

and they're honking at you, and woo, it was cute. That's fun, that is cute. It was a good time, but Vermont is just so precious. I know, I love Vermont, I'll be there in a couple weeks. I love the syrup and the hiking and the freedom and Bernie, it's just a wonderful place, the mountains. Ben and Jerry's is there. Fish, I never got into fish, but I like the freedom and Bernie. It's just a wonderful place, the mountains. Ben and Jerry's is there. Fish, I never got into fish, but I like the idea of fish.

Yeah, fish is from there. I think so. Boy, that's appropriate. That just fits, they're so Burlington. Aren't they? Maybe I got that wrong, I think so. It's a coat factory. I believe so.

Also some hockey sticks are made there, and something else, something big. A lot of beef. This is UVM, St. Michael's, Fish Fish and something else about Burlington. Something called Strange Folk that I was into, they might be from up there too. Yeah, Shameworks, they got a university. Maple Syrup. I gave it some googling just for some research, but there was another thing that was big, like oh this is from here? I didn't know that. Lake Champlain. Oh yeah. Bill Lee lives up there.

So we do, you know, everybody gets in your head, hey, Burlington, that's a woke central, watch out, they're gonna hate you, bup, bup, bup. It was all great, DeVito killer. Of course. Show was killer. And then I'm texting Sam backstage, and he goes, you know, Hamilton's at the club.

And I go, what? Ryan Hamilton. Yeah, not the play. And I go, what, we're going, so we do a show, we guzzle some vodka, we walk over, it's like, it was one of those 600 feet. Let's go. Oh, I love that.

So we walk over to the club, DeVito is backstage, like look at his notes. Hello? He goes, yeah, and we pop in. Oh, I love the pop in. Well, Hamilton, past guest, he is one of the great hangs. Oh yeah, we had Hamilton on way back at stand up New York days. Wow. I'm sure it's on Patreon. We talked to him

about Boy Scouts. He broke his ankle because he jumped from a thing or not Boy Scouts, but it was like camp something. Sure. Concentration. Yeah. But he dresses to the nines that guy. That doesn't get his due for it. He's had like a leather jacket on and a cool pair of boots. I've always been big into fashion. You know, he bought me my shoes. I know about the shoes. What a man.

Yes, yes. So Shoeless Joe. So we chat with him. And we get that thing where he's like, you want to go on? I'm like, I'm going to do you a favor and say no. Nice. You don't want me going on. No. What am I going to do? I'm going to do you a favor and say no. Nice. You don't want me going on. No.

What am I going to do? I'm going to offend your crowd and ruin it. So let's just hang out. Yeah, that's better. So we hung out. It was one of those things where we hung out for like half an hour, and they had to do the, they're calling your name.

Oh, Jesus. And we were like, oh, shit. So he ran on stage, and then me and DeVito hit a bar. But just a great night. Something about the comic also in town. It's so connecting. It's the best feeling ever. I tell you, years ago I was in Montreal,

not far from Burlington. Yeah. And I was there with Greg Stone. And I was there for two days. And the third day, I was like, there's another comedy club down the street. We should look up who's there. It was Henry Phillips.

Whoa! We went 66% of the weekend not realizing one of my closest friends was like a mile down the road. Damn. So we got hammered and hijinks ensued. Wow, yeah. What year was that? Must have been 2011 or 12 maybe, early 2012, 2010 maybe.

Wow. Yeah, it was a long time ago. And also, Greg Stone had like 40 bucks. He came on a whim. We were at the creek, I was like, I'm going to Montreal tomorrow, you wanna come? And he's like, I a whim. We were at the creek. I was like, I'm going to Montreal tomorrow. You want to come? And he's like, I'll go.

And we literally drove two hours. And he's like, by the way, I have $40. Into his name. Yes. And I was like, what? Jesus. And then we just shared a hotel room. He wasn't even on the show.

He didn't even do spots. We just came out and went to a titty bar. He borrowed money. We had a good time. There's no way in a million years we could do that now. No. You got a baby. You got a wife. There's three kids between the two of us. Three? Well, he now. No. You got a baby, you got a wife.

There's three kids between the two of us. Yeah. Three? Well, he's got two, I got one. Oh, OK. By the way, you said shoeless Joe. Last night, I came up with a sitcom idea. You want to hear it?

Sure, I'm all anal. Maybe you could be the guy. I'm all queers. So I got a super in my building. His name is Joe. Came up with the show idea, Super Joe. And the premise is it's me and my wife and my wife and I have a baby and I'm a traveling salesman or whatever. You don't want to do comedian.

It's too gay. I'm a traveling salesman. I'm a traveling homo, whatever I do. I mean, importer, exporter. And then lot matches, big long matches. My wife dies. Yeah. Big relief. All right. She's dead. Now we're talking. So now I can't travel anymore because I got the baby.

Ah, single dad. So I'm like, what am I going to do? I need a job. I need to stay home. They go, hey, well, we have an opening for a super. Ah, love it. Lives rent free in the building. All you got to do is fix the pipes, fix the windows.

Gold. And I'm the fish out of water. I do is fix the pipes, fix the windows. Gold. And I'm the fish out of water. I'm a big homo sales guy. I'm nervous. You're dropping hammers and stuff. Yes. So I go, I'll take it. And he goes, well, do you have any experience? Oh yeah. I do that thing. I got all kinds of my, I'm, my, my uncle's a plumber, which is true. And so now I'm super Joe because I got to be super dad. So I'm fixing the leaks with a baby in my hand and he's hitting me on the side of the head with a hammer, blood shooting out.

And then also, hey, I'm newly single. So I got bitches coming over, I put him to bed, and then he wakes up and he goes, I can smell her pussy from here. And I go, shut up. So it's a Mr. Mom kind of fish out of water, Super Joe. Super Joe. We attach your name. I love it. It's a Mr. Mom kind of fish out of water Super Joe. Super Joe. We attach your name. I love it. You're Joe. I don't want to be involved but wait I'm in? I'm the lead? You'll be Joe. Oh okay great. Yeah we just say you're Joe. Why aren't you Joe? Now what's gonna happen with the Super?

The original Super? Did we kill him? No he left. Well we gotta come up with a story about why he left. Did he get deported? It just works out that way. You know, it's like, wow, because I'm sitting there, you know, on movies or shows. Also, it's a sitcom. It doesn't have to glue together. I go, yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do. And they go, well, we do need a super. Oh, Rick Free!

And I go, super? I'll live here. Love it. And they go, are you sure? Because I see you around. I've never seen you with a tool. And I go, my wife has a tool. You know, something like that, some kind of company like that.

I love it. And they go, she just died. What's wrong with, something like that, some kind of comedy like that. Yeah, I love it. And they go, she just died, what's wrong with you? I go, well, that's my humor. I don't know. I like it. And you are the Super Joe. Ah man, and I was a porter. I lived this life, Jerry.

I was at the high rise going, ah, I was Googling lug nut. This is big. This is big, we got this experience. I could go in the room. When you go in the room with that, they like that. They might be eluded. You're Jerry, I'll be Larry. I'll be behind the scenes with the cigar, with the glasses. You got the curly hair. Yes, yes. I got the jumpsuit still. I'll wear it to

the pitch. I love it! Yes! Chuck, you'll be a boom operator operator Yeah, you can Google stuff for us sure I think this is pretty good I think it's a great idea for a show and I think sitcoms are making a comeback Which is what my nickname was in college, but love come on my back. Look at tires tires is It's a what's a real throw. Well, we'll see some with Rupert, but That's at all. That's a throwback. It is a throwback. I haven't watched season two. Yeah, I'm joking of course I love season one. I haven't watched season two, but I'm meaning to do it. I will do it. It's fun And yeah, there you go. Super Joe. Maybe we pitched to Shane. Oh

Get things made what do you guys make it move? Absolutely and Absolutely. Or some of the other people we know. Jerry. Jerry would love this. Yeah. Jerry, this is gold. Yeah, yeah. He likes that kind of stuff. This is the show.

We get to do that to him. Right? Yeah. And he goes, I don't get it. You're like, all right. So Jerry, I can't give away too much, but he's involved. Ryan is working on a special with a dear friend of ours. Interesting. I don't know if I should say, no, you say and bleep. Okay. Well cover your mouth at the

time is producing and directing. Oh And he couldn't get Netflix. And then he went, our buddy went, he got on the gold phone, called Sarandos and said, hey, get on this guy's special toot suite. And they said, yes, sir, mister. And now it's happening. Wow. So Jerry is in the intro, which just selfishly,

I hear all, I'm talking to Hamilton backstage, and I'm like, I'm working on a special. I'll ask Jerry about it. So now we're gonna be back in. Okay, I like him. Then your special's gonna look like this other person's special. Well, he's not gonna touch it, I just wanna get it in.

Oh, I see, okay, okay. I'm just trying to get the conversation rolling, because with him, he doesn't like the chit chat, the small talk, the empty conversation. He wants a full meal to sink his dick into. Right. Okay. Well, this is big stuff. This is very exciting. So I'm going to parlay this special into a lunch. I like that.

And then we'll go from there. We'll talk Gaza and all the other stuff. Will you mention Super Joe? Sure! I'll throw it out there. I think Super Joe is big. Super Joe is good. It's a, you mentioned Super Joe? Sure. I'll throw it out there. Yeah, OK. I think Super Joe is big. Super Joe is good. It's a good title. Super Joe. Yeah.

And then every week, a new adventure. Hey, the pipes broke. What if it was Joe, but you're not in it? I know, but you just played Joe. I mean, hey, Kramer's, Michael Richards' name's not Kramer. I know, but he didn't write it. But Super Joe doesn't make sense. I'm Super Mark. Wait, I guess the pun is just Super. Yeah, yeah, Super Mark. What's

Super Joe? I don't know why I thought that was part of the pun. Maybe I had a coffee aspect at one point. Oh, coffee. Oh, I know what it is because I know why I had Super Joe in my mind because my Super's name is Joe. So I said to Sarah, I'm like, we call it Super Joe. Got it. Got it. But yeah, Super Mark. It doesn't have to be. I was just saying, if I'm the guy, it's weird if I have a different name than Jerry's Jerry.

Ray is Ray. Yeah, Tim Allen's Tim, Roseanne is Roseanne. Yeah. Is there any sicko? Paul Ryzer, was he Paul? I don't think so. He might have been Paul. Tell me why. Great show. I can't remember what his name Paul Ryzer? Was he Paul? I don't think so. He might've been Paul. Tell me why. Great show. I can't remember what his name was though. I don't think it's

Paul. That was Mitch or Clancy. I can't remember. Six, seven. I can't remember. What other show sitcom? Was there any sitcoms that the lead wasn't their actual name? Ellen is Ellen. Ellen's Ellen. Kevin James is Doug. Doug Heffernan. Is that right? OK. Kevin James is Doug. I didn't either. I heard it was good. The Office, he's not named The Office. That's a different breed, though.

That's a shaky camera biography bullshit. Larry is Larry. Larry is Larry. Paul Riser was called Paul. Oh, he's Paul. Paul was Paul. Allen Allen. Tim was Tim.

Was Tim Tim? Yeah, Tim was Tim. Was Tim Tim? Yeah, Tim the Toolman. Tim the Toolman, yeah. Tim Taylor. Tool Time. Remember when people would call it Tool Time? They'd go, you see Tool Time last night? I'm like, you're a tool.

I hated that. I hate that. You see Bart Simpson? Yeah. No, I saw the Simpsons. I didn't see Bart Simpson. They just picked their favorite guy. I think we've talked about this before.

What other shows? What about Urkel? Well, he was a fictional character. Family Matters, yeah, yeah. You know what? Jaleel. That's no good. Hey, meet Jaleel. Yeah, that show's canceled.

Not a nerd name either. I don't know. Hanging with Mr. Cooper? Was he Mark? I think he was. It was Mark Curry turned to Mark Cooper. Okay, so you're Super Mark and you'll be Nomad or- Oh yeah, Norma.

The N-word or whatever. I think Joe does Super Joe sounds better. Yeah. Which is fine, we'll go with that. Okay, I don't know if you're a Joe though. You don't look like a Joe. I don't look like a Joe. No.

Too fruity. Yeah, all right. I'll figure it out. I think this is big. I think you talk to Schumer, you talk to Jerry, you talk to Shane, you talk to Sal, you talk to Rogan, and this thing is straight to the top. I like it. We'll sell this puppy right to 4chan. I think this is in. Supermark. Sounds like Supermarket. Oh yeah. Well, maybe. How about this? Your name is Mark Eric O'Connor, Super Mar EO.

Whoa! Super Mark EO. Super Mark EO. And then you're a plumber. You got the wrench. Whoa! Do do do do do do. And then I come in.

I'm Luigi. Hey. Hey, you shoot a CEO. I'm Luigi. My name's Louie Gondelson. Hey, Gondelson. It I hate Gondelsen. It's, you know, Mark E.O. and... Louie G.

Louie G. Yeah, that's good. And then the Asian guy who's your friend is Yoshi. Hot dog dog, oi, oi, oi. And he goes bing bong. That might've hurt the pitch right there. Yeah, maybe. And then, by the way,

We need an ethnic. You have, the other great thing about the show is, whenever I go downstairs at my building, you know, it's a luxury building. So you have the super is very blue collar, and then you have the door guys, they're kind of fuck around, knock around guys. And then you have these rich hoity-toities coming in.

Excuse me, did my package come? And then they leave and you go, shut up, you cut. So you have class going here. Class is big. So are glasses. They help you see. But I think this could be a show and it's not many locations. It's all in the building. Yes, it's all pipes, plumbing. Supermark. I like it. I like it a lot. Okay, now I think Joe's got to have a dream or Mark. Well,. He's got a son you see okay, okay? His dream is to you know now is his life is in shambles Maybe she just leaves them that way she's not dead. That's too because he can't fuck around

I don't know I think the dead gives him a little Grace you go I feel for this guy his poor wife died, but if he's got hot bitches coming over He's gonna look like a Well, you wait till season two maybe maybe he's dating now. We want the bitches in early Yeah, I want to take advantage of in my office You want to do that? Casting casting Brest together real quick cuz Mark he really wants to okay those aren't gonna do you're out. Yeah too old too fat

But this is big. I think we should noodle on this. It's enough already with the podcast. I agree. It's going nowhere. We got no fans. Yeah. Supermark. Oh, like Doogie Howser MD Supermark. Yo, and then maybe your friend comes to the window like in the 80s. Oh, like Clarissa explains it all. What's that? What? You didn't have Nickelodeon? She came to the window because same by the bell. Sam did. Oh yeah. Zach came to the window and then Doogie's buddy Vinnie came to the window. Did he really? I think so. A lot of window climbing. It was all windows in the 80s. Wow. Before Apple. There you go.

Six, seven. Yeah. I think this is a Hall of Fame episode. Big bong. Love this set. This is huge. Now where are you going to be? Not many places, I don't think.

Oh, Small Ball. Oh! Climb in the charts. We're almost to half a mil at this point. Oh, yeah. We're probably over by now. By the time this comes out, hopefully it's over half a million. But I should have lined up some podcasts. I did them all way before the special came out.

Yeah, I saw that. Because I was plugging a theater run. I really blew it. We got this one. Yeah, this is a big podcast. Anyways. I met with your guys too, your video guys. Oh, they're good.

Yeah, yeah. Derek and Willie. It's between them and another guy, so we'll chat after. Well, I loved him. I had I loved them. Stopped it too. Any farts, small balls on YouTube, please watch it. Rewatch it. Let it fucking stream in your house. Yeah. Build up those numbers a little bit. And I'm on tour in New England all of July.

Portsmouth, New Hampshire. We added a show. Portland, Maine. We added a show. Northampton, Massachusetts. Woodstock, New York, which is not New England, I understand, it's up there, Burlington, Vermont at the Comedy Club, and Denver, September 11th through the 13th, they probably have other dates, I mean it's 9th through 11th,

I think it might be 9th through 11th. The works? Yeah, Denver Comedy Works, downtown, those will sell out, and a bunch of other shit. Go to PunchUpLive.com slash chill list. Yes. And join our Patreon for the love of Christ. We just did a crazy, we're doing a whole three

on the road together video episodes tonight. Yes, and we got behind the scenes of Sesh, we got behind the scenes at the barbershop show I did, then we have some live stuff coming up. So the Patreon is hummin',, buzzing. It's lunch. Big hum. So a humdinger. I will be in. When's this come out? Who knows? June 30th, June 30th. Holy shit. I'm going to Dallas. I'm going to Tyler, Texas. I'm going to San Diego, DC, Australia, New Zealand. Then I'm going to Athens eventually.

That's later. And some other stuff. What else? Oslo, Amsterdam, I think. You give it a go. Go to the website. Go to Punch Up, Super Mark, Super Joe, Patreon. We'll see you all in hell.

Praise Allah. Tell a friend. Six, seven. Check'll see you all in hell. Praise Allah, tell a friend. Sick savage. Check out my podcast, Fun Bear. Cheers, come on. I ended it there, a premature ending. What the fuck, you gave me a wink. I thought you were like, hey, get a good one.

I missed a wink, no, no, I was looking at my texts here, the wife, most nervous. Where are you gonna be there? Check, check. Check out my podcast. We just put up our live episode, live at the Comedy Connection. We did a big summer show.

Very fun. At funbearablepod.com or follow at funbearablepod on social media everywhere. S-M-E, social media everywhere. Yo dog, sheee. Good to have you. I feel like at this point everyone stopped listening so we can just go wild.

N-word, N-word, C-word, bitch, motherfucker, six seven. Gun, gun, gun. Oh, bleep that. Cheers.