Tuesdays with Stories! - #627 Stinky Pies

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Mark goes to Boulder, CO to shoot his new special! THEN he gets a call from a mainstream director who wants him to watch his movie.. or does he? Joe has a stogey and upsets a neighbor. It's Tuesdays! Our Stuff: - http://www.patreon.com/tuesdays   - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories   -  Get your 1st month of BlueChew FREE w/ code TUESDAYS @BlueChew.com - Support the show & sign up for your $1/month trial of Shopify. Head to https://www.shopify.com/tuesdays - Support the show - first time buyers get 20% off their entire purchase with code TUESDAYS at http://mood.com/ - Treat yourself to gear that looks good, feels good, & doesn’t break the bank. Sign up as a VIP & get 80% off everything at http://fabletics.com/TUESDAYS

Hey Mark, fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do. Great. Good to be here. Welcome to Tuesdays with Stories. Hit her in the face with a surfboard. And then the duck fell out of his bag. Surf's up.

And she didn't even flush. Knock, knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe List. Yeah. This Tuesdays with Stories, everybody. No, that's terrible. This is supposed to be cheesy.

My radio is spitting at me. And I can't change. Ah, here we are. We're back, baby. It's early. I'm gay. The shorts are on. It's AM right now.

What does AM stand for? If you get it, I'll suck you off. American mentality. Anti-meridian, something like that. There's Prime Meridian. Yeah, which I thought is PM. PM, Prime Meridian. Prime Minister.

A, Advil, medium. Anal mischief. It's definitely Latin. I saw it, but I couldn't see it. It's Latin. Activated. Ante, Brutte. Ante meridium.

Antim. Antimaridium. All right. Prime meridian and anti-meridian. Wow. Antifa. Ante. Ante. Ante.

Ante, Brute. Brute gay. Et to brute gay. Yes. A brute gay. That sounds hot. That hurts your weehole. He's got like a five o'clock shadow and a cigar chewed up and he just smashes your asshole.

You don't hear about brute. That used to be like, unhand me, you brute. Oh, yeah. Brutus the barber beefcake. Uh-huh. I don't know. Who's that? Popeye's enemy?

He was a big wrestler. He was Hulk Hogan's buddy that everyone, it turns out now everyone hated because he sucked. When I was a kid, when I was a boy, I was like, this guy ruled. And he would do a thing. He would go, bun, bon-da-da-do, and then he would cut their hair. What? And put him in the sleeper hole, and he would cut their hair. I remember as a kid, it fucked with me because I'm like the idea of someone cutting my hair.

Yeah, I don't like that at all. Bummed me out. Man, man, I had these friends. We had these, like, the jackass world. We were cut each other's hair in the backyard. What? Yeah. Like sit down and have a chat and cut their hair?

Yeah, we'd just be like, I need a haircut. My friend's like, sit out, I got you. And we had nothing going on. We had nothing to do. So we go, all right, I'll talk. like a haircut. And then, inevitably, another guy would come up and go, Rair. Oh. I know. These guys were evil, but you were 18, so you're like,

this is what friends do. Well, even on Jackass, I just never thought that was funny. I never got that. I like the jokes. I like when he has a baby on the van and he's driving around and, oh, my God. Yeah, he's got a boner at the gym, or he shits in a Home Depot toilet. Yeah, or he puts a little piece of shit on the plate at the Chinese restaurant. He's like, I think it's poo. That stuff's funny. This like a pool cue to the asshole and then a shaving the head.

I'm like, I hate this. Yeah, yeah. And it's just going to ruin your day. Yeah, it just seemed like so vicious and mean and horrible. But the baby on the car hood is gold. That was amazing. Getting out of a Starbucks. Everybody's like, what the hell?

Very fun. I did it from real life the other day. But now you don't really, I guess you do do that. Anyways, it doesn't matter. But what was I going to say? I like the show Buzzkill. Remember that? That was like three guys.

Yes. And I can't even remember what it looked like, but they had a van and they would do weird shit. Yeah, and I remember the logo was a bullseye or a site, a scope. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was a bullseye. Was it a bullseye? Maybe, I don't know. I think it might have been a site.

I think it was a site to see for solar eyes. What was the show called? Buzzkill. Buzzkill. Yeah. I was thinking the show was called Bullseye. Buzz kill. But that's what you say when a guy's ruining a party.

You're a real buzzkill. Right. Which went away, I think. He's a buzz kill. Yeah, you don't hear that too much. Yeah. Well, you know what Matt Wayne likes to say, you're a hornet in the car. I love that.

Or a flat soda. He's got a lot of good ones. Flat soda's great. Flat soda, crocodile done deal. What's that? Well, it's like you say done deal. Oh. But you know what I've noticed?

This is interesting. So he made sticker. He has merch called Crocodile Dunneal. He's got an alligator or crocodile on it that his wife made. and he sells these tickets or stickers and he does a joke about it but now we're old men and Crocodile Dundee

didn't hold up that well so a lot of people are like the fuck's he talking about the hell's Crocodile Dundee is not it's not like in the Zakegeist. So people over 35, 40 are like

that's amazing Crocodile Dundeele but the young people at 25 are like you should say say this. And it's just not a pun. That's true. You should say later Alligator. And he's like, what? That's no good. Yeah, because these, we're old.

We're old and the references don't stick, Jerry. They used to stick. We'd go, hey, JFK got shot. Oh, remember, happy birthday. Right. That was before our time. We knew what that was. Yeah, that's true. Bitch, my family's here. Yeah, Monica Lewinsky. All that's gone. It's all out the window. Hock 2 is in. Well, people can't remember things, Jerry. And this is what I keep talking about about this silly fucking festival.

These people are like, go to hell and die, you fucking home-out. These people are not even going to think about this in 48 hours. They're going to be on to the next thing. They're just tweeting, you're a bad human. And then they'll forget about it. They'll go to lunch. And then who's Charlie Kirk? What?

I've already forgotten. He's gone. That's out. That's old news. Louis Charlie Kirk. Captain Kirk. He's good. Admiral.

Admiral James T. Kirk. But another guy, already out the zeitgeist. So Admiral's higher than Captain in the space world? Admiral Levine. Because wasn't he Captain Kirk and they became Admiral Kirk? Is that right? I think. That sounds right to me.

Admiral Kirk. Oh, yeah. Was he Admiral at some point? Can I get a reading on that? I think he went from Captain to Admiral or maybe reverse. I think he'd rather have a captain around, though, because an Admiral is like, oh, he's over the hill. Interesting. You don't meet a young viral.

virile, admiral. Admiral's a weird word. Ademoral? Admiral. What's like, Admiral? Admire. Marl. Oh.

Say Amaral. He became admiral in Star Trek the motion picture, so I think it's the first movie. Yeah. In the TV show, he was captain. See, that's why I remember as Admir, because I never saw the TV show. I mean, later on, I saw it a little bit, but my dad was really into those Star Trek movies. We talked about it last week out there, Christopher Lloyd. Oh, yeah, my mom was in there.

She loved the next generation. I think she wanted to bang Wharf, the Klingon. Well, next generation just looked like soap opera. It was filmed in a way that I was like, ugh. It made me like feel like sick. I hated that. I don't know, like the guy with the visor and James, Jordan.

What the fuck was that guy's name? Stuart. Patrick Stewart. Oh, what was that guy's name? Jaliel White? No, what is Jordi's name? And he was the reading rainbow cunt. Oh.

Bryant Gumble? Lark Voorhees. No, no. What the hell was his name? Will Smith, Carlton. It was a very black kind of name. Shit. He was good.

Lavelle, Leroy, Lenny Kravitz. I can't remember. Give me a goog on that. What are you doing over there? I think the internet's not working. I keep seeing that orange cone over there. I hate an orange cone.

Ah. What did you cut some stuff? Levelle Crawford, Jordie. Star Trek, the next generation. Black guy with the Red Vone. What's his name? Yes. Yeah.

I know you don't know. That's why we're asking to Google it. That's where we're Googling. Levar Burton. Levar! LeVar Burton! LeVar! You've never been a white LeVar,

I'll tell you that. So the reading rainbow guy is the Star Trek next generation guy? Yes, Jordie with the eyes. He must have read too much. His eyes were all red. Yeah, he got hit with a Ray Charles gun. What was I going to... Why am I hearing our voices?

Oh, they're in your cans. He's editing. He's cutting. Yeah, you called someone a big piece of shit. We've got to get it out of there. It was the Prince of Riyadh. But any farts. What the fuck were we saying?

Jordy, Levelle. Oh, Star Trek Generation. I hated it. I just hated it. It was one of those shows. You know you have those shows that made you feel sick? I think maybe we've talked about this. The Sunday shows.

Sunday shows. Because he gave it the Sunday Blues. Like the Wonder Years. When that came, What would you? I'd be like this. Oh, I got school in the morning. Ah, the Sunday's scary.

Yes, the scaries. That's it. Sunday had some gold, though, because we had the Simpsons. He had a living color and you had married with chill. But none of those things that I really enjoyed, I couldn't enjoy those properly. Because I had that thing of like, we're back to school. It's such a long week. I have anxiety.

I'm nervous. I'm a homosexual. School was really hell. And I always was jealous of those kids. Remember that kid who was like, I was feeling a little off today. So I stayed home. home. I wasn't allowed to stay home. I have perfect attendance four years in a row in high school. I did, too. I had eighth grade through senior year. I really, really never missed school.

To me, it was crazy. I didn't want to miss school. It felt insane. It felt weird. Yeah. And my parents were like, no, you go to school. That's what you do. And I'm like, I'm puking. I'm gay. I have a boner. They're like, you got to go. And then you meet one guy's like, I needed a me day. Yeah. Like, what? Well, that's big now. This me day crap. And, yeah, I never. missed a practice. I never missed a day of school. I just didn't get it. I wanted to be there. Even I was scared. Yeah, same.

But I see that with comics, too, they're just like, I just, I couldn't do it. I'm like, but you have four shows tonight. They're like, yeah, I just couldn't get there. Couldn't make it. Couldn't get my head in the game. And I'm like, wow, I didn't know that was an option. Well, I don't want to talk about which gender is doing that the most, but... There's 67

of them, so you've got to narrow it down. Yeah, one of them does it. a lot. That's true. And look, they've got to do the hair, the makeup, the tampon, the clit ring, the breastfeeding. That's true. So there is an extra element. But

maybe don't take the gig then. Yeah, that's a good point. But, you know, some people take too many gigs and then can't make it to one of them often, almost every night also. But, oh, that's a stretch. Well, maybe running behind a little

late. Where's he? Where's this guy? you go next could you go first could you go last he's not here this you know who's not here i say all right i had a feeling or they go hey yeah he's on next and i'm like well that's funny because i just saw him at another club and there was two more before he was going on but but here we are here we are well well well well i feel like i upset you i'm sorry no i don't know i was about to make a zing about today but that's it's i fell back and it's my house so i don't know anywhere. 10.30 a.m. Did you make it? Yeah.

That is one time. How many times I've been late to this podcast, would you say? Six. At 12 years? I think that's probably about right. That's pretty good. I'd say that's about accurate. And the train stuff. Yeah. That wasn't at another pod. And he farts. Here we are. Here we go. What the hell is I going to say?

I don't know. I'll upset you. No, I'm not upset. I had something. Oh! Boulder, Colorado. Please, get in there. Tell me about it. Well, really something. Have you been there? Never been in my life.

I almost went because it's only 30 minutes from Denver, correct? 45, yeah. Okay, well, I almost went because of the football, but then the schedule didn't quite line up. It was a night game. They see you. See you. Next Tuesday. Cunt.

Yes. But, man, this is a hidden gem, a great town. I can't believe I've never been, and it was a risk. Jerry. Like, hey, where should we do the special? You always hear San Francisco, Denver, Austin, whatever, New York. New York. So I was like, eh, maybe, I don't know, Boulder, is that crazy? But we sold a couple tickets because I'd never been. So I built up a wad of jizz that was ready to shoot out of a penis. Into my ass, I hope. Hopefully. And, man, it all just came together. I had a Sunday or a Thursday show, which I don't really do anymore, because Shane

Gillis and I had the same day in San Jose. So I had to move it to this Thursday, which was a blessing. Because then I get to run it one more time. Sure. And then go straight from San Jorge to Boulder. And man, it was just

magic's in there. Salukes showed up. We went hiking on a mountain. I saw that. I was so jealous. I was like walking around the financial district. The baby's crying. You send me a photo. Salis is in a tree. God knows why. I know. He wanted to get a shot of a condor. But, yeah, it was just...

Condork. It was just great weather. The sky was blue. It's beautiful out there. It's just like every restaurant's full. The bars are full. The people are good-looking. They're white.

It's just, it's paradise. I got to get out there to this Boulder business. But isn't that... So you haven't been in Denver to a while? Because I imagine it's pretty similar markets. Yeah, a little bit. Okay. A little bit.

But it's still different. There's about 100-something-thousand-people there. Oh, that's sizable. Yeah, and it's just a... beautiful old theater from 1909. It's got that marquee. I'll show you the marquee, Norman, and The Funky Bunch.

It just came together. I don't know what it was. And we had three shows, and they were killer. And it was one of those. The first show was great. Friday, we had one. Saturday, we had two. First show was great, and you're like,

hey, all right, here we go. And then the second show was unbelievable, so we got it. The third show was a little wonky. Well, you always have a wonky one. That's true. There's never been a taping where you're like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that?

That wasn't the tube or the stomach. Also, how it's saying that a theater has lasted 120 years in Boulder. Right. Like, that thing made it through the Depression, through the World War, through the 80s, the crack epidemic, which probably didn't hit Boulder that hard. But you know what I mean? Through the dot-com bulge or whatever the fuck that's called. Through segregation, through, you know, Chuck's life.

Yeah, COVID. Me too. And it's still here. Yeah. And you're in there. I've been there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it. And the crowds are hot. And everybody kept saying, watch out, fatty.

It's crunchy. It's hipster. It's woke. It's gay. It's queefs. It couldn't have been cooler. Well, this is what people don't understand is there's everywhere mixed up in there. Even in, you know, what's the...

I can't think of anything. Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which is like the quefiest, skinniestest pants, the Fedorius Fedoras. Rolling the cigarettes, got a bird tattoo, and a Polaroid. You do a show in Williamsburg. There's enough people that are like, I hate this shit, but I got rent control, or I like living here, or whatever it is. That's why people are like so weird when they're like, you go to Red States?

Watch out. I can't go there. I'm a woman. Like, what are you crazy? You think people are just getting, like, beaten up or whatever it is? There's just so many people in this goddamn country. Right. 375 million people.

There's all kinds of people everywhere. And the majority tends to be somewhere in that gooey middle area. Because the extreme cum-guzzlers are the loud ones. Of course. So we all go, oh, boy, Portland. You go to Portland. You're going to get stuck with fentanyl and stuck with a dick. And it's all over.

And you go there and you're like, these crowds are amazing because they're sick of that shit. Yeah. Well, Portland is like the best crowds of all time. Right crowds. Yeah, exactly. And the people that are, the homo weirdos. whatever, Antifa, they're out on the street tied to an oil rig or something protesting. They're not at the show.

Good point. Good point. Well, unless it's like a Louis show or something where they're like, this will be our night. We'll make a poster and get our dreadlocks together and make fun of this ginger. But yeah, great shows. We got it. And it's one of those, it's that magic moment of it's in the can. and I still got months before it comes out.

That's the greatest. It's the greatest. I'm building new material. I tried some new jokes last night. By the way, I went out there last night with like five new ideas. I stink. Yeah, well, that's part of the process. You always stink in the beginning.

That's your thing. And boy, you go, hey, God, look, I just wrote a hot hour. I'm cooking. Right. I'm not cooking. No cook. The flame is off. The water ain't boiling, and I spilled the yams.

That's part of your process. You got to go, oh, that, this. I've said this to Sarah all the time. She's like, I got nothing new. I haven't written a joke in two years. I'm like, you have said that to me every week for whatever it is, 15 years. Right, that's the truth. And then you always have new.

That's just part of the thing. I got nothing new because I have the same thing. I'm like, I haven't written in two months. And then I'll go, all right, here we go. And then you get 10 minutes in a couple weeks. And then you're like, oh, shit, look at that. I got 10 minutes. Right.

Well, you know what it is? You know when you look at the comments and there's 30, nice ones and 14 mean ones. You only remember the mean ones. It's the same with writing. You remember all the failures, all the jokes that bombed, all the humiliation, but you don't really notice the ones that

trickled in. It's the negativity bias. Thank you, Fannie. Through evolution. Yes. We're meant to and it all goes back to when you're in the woods and you hear a branch snap, you're like that could be a bird or could be a tiger about to rape my mother and fuck me and

eat me. Turns out it's a Cub Scout. Who needs to a good fucking yeah vice versa so that's the thing we're evolutionarily involved to remember the good your your wife says thanks for catching the meat you go oh oh shut up shut up is there a bear over there right so that's how we're wired and then you go my wife never compliments me she goes no no she did you were just worried about the saber tooth right and somebody says you suck you're like I'm not gonna be able to make money I'm gonna have no money everyone thinks I suck oh my god I suck I suck I suck I got to get better because this one guy, I have letters written in crayon and pencil saying,

you're the greatest man in my life, you change my life, you're the great. I don't even think about it. I don't look at them. They're under my pillow. They mean nothing to me. I know. I got a YouTube comment from a guy with no face called fucking homo 678 who said, hey, I think you're gay. I know that guy.

And 789. 6-7. We just got a box of George Carlin Records. We got to focus on that. Yes, we should focus on that. I got these great magnets. Shout out whoever this is. Someone made Pedro Martinez magnet and a Paul Pierce and a Brad Marsha, my favorite athletes of all time.

That's exciting. Into magnets. You know what also is that I never thought about this. We've got a negativity bias. We're all focused on the negative, the bad, the shit, the danger. But then you get AIDS and you're positive. You see what I'm saying? Now positive is bad.

Is this one of the new bits? No, no. No, I'm just saying like, it's COVID positive. It sucks. We took the word positive and tacked it onto a disease and now that's ruined. Yeah, positive test. You're positive for COVID. You're positive for AIDS. You're positive

for HIV. Yes, yes. Charlie Sheed. Positively. Gay. Uh-huh. Gay positive. Am I crazier? Is Chuck making the fucking craziest noises over there? I'm hearing fart noises. I'm hearing our voices. What is that? Oh, he's doing a weird whistle move with his lips while he edits.

Oh, no. It's a shoe. It's Eric the Class. His big shoe. He can't tell because he's not listening to us. So he's making a squeaky noise. Your shoe is squeaking. So I'm just hearing like, it's torture. I thought it was coming out of your weird face, but it's actually the foot.

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One more time, Shopify.com slash Tuesdays. So yeah, it's in the can. I'm excited. Some titles. Got to build some new. And yeah, it's all over. It's so funny how it's been looming over me. And now it's done and it feels good.

And then you read the Theo articles and you feel even better. And you got a title for this thing? I got a couple. I want to run some by you later. Please, please. I'm very good with titles. Really? I love a title.

Ooh, titular. I always got titles in my mind. Title IX. So, yeah, I'm pretty... Now, who did you have direct this thing? I get this guy... Salacus, I hope. No, no, no.

It's not a shaky picture, but I wanted to go with this guy, Jordan Levy. He's done all the big... Oh, yeah. He did Jew. Same initials. That's right. Jew is very good. Very good.

Except for Ari's face. The candles are nice. He fought for the candles. He's a man of the people. He's all about the artist. And he said, you do your stuff. Our whole job is to just make it easy and get out of your way. I like that.

I like that stuff. No notes, no horse shit, no, eh, I don't like the outfit. Hey, maybe don't say the N-word. It's all in there. Boy, there's a good buck to be made filming comedians. Boy, you ain't lying, Fatty. It's a big industry. It sure is. In fact, Chuck, you're fired.

How about Salacus, by the way? Salacus said, we don't need you. That's what he told us. He did the editing or whatever, the setup, and he was like, you guys could totally do this. Which is hilarious, because he's close friends with both of us. I'm like, you think I could do any of this? That's true. I don't know how to upload my shits. Yeah, you could, but then you'd have to do all the post in terms of, like, organizing it and sending it to someone. It's a lot of stuff.

Yeah. It's a real pain of the day. Well, we used to fill them on our own. That's true. We did that for a long time. But then you have to take the card out. I can remember leaving, looking at you, you had the card in your hand and just a puzzle look. Greg the cat was going, I don't know what the fuck.

Yeah, yeah. And being like, all right, we'll see if this one goes. Praying to God that thing got to Shelby. But, yeah, I don't think we could do anything. No, no. Well, Salkees thinks that's the whole pod. It's just setting up three mics and a light. Right.

There's more to it. Yeah, I mean, I'm watching you click and clack over there. I don't... It's making me nervous. The level of retardation in my brain is really stunning. Yeah, same. It's bad. I mean, we talked, we did a whole rant on signing in.

Oh, yeah. Signing in is bad. You know, I've never put a Wi-Fi password in and gotten it on the first drive. No, me either. Not once. They'll go, hey, the Wi-Fi is 8. It's the number 8, and I'm like, all right, is it uppercase or lower-case? Is it the Jewish 8?

A-I-G-H-T Nothing. A-T-E? Nothing. Well, and also, by the way, a little update, that commercial agent, haven't heard a beep. Who's that now? Remember I told you the whole story? That's how we get off on the thing.

She sent me the website. She's like, you got to look into it. You got to sign in. Oh, yes, yes. Get in there and just nothing, not a zilch. Haven't gotten a nibble. Wow. Not from her or from a commercial, you mean?

from her. I mean, she's the agent. Oh, wow. I don't think she knows I exist. You blew it. If you're not signed in, they don't know you exist. No, but I'm signed in. I got us all signed in. I got the message. I got the $30 package. I got the $30 package. A 10-cent package in my pants. And

so now I'm ready. And every commercial I watch, like I said, it's just a big goofy white retard spilling hot sauce on his tits. And I'm like, get me in there. Nothing. Nothing. Yeah, it's bad news. I'm out. Oh, man. It's Mickey. You're out, and it ain't pretty.

I mean, join the club. I'm turning down commercials. Maybe we'll just start sending them to you. Well, you're a handsome boy. We're different types. I'll do any type. I'll put on a clan hood or a swastika or a nipple ring, but they give me shit for like, this is a hallmark movie

where we need a 6'4 handsome guy who can swing an axe. And I'm like, why are you sending me this? I'm a twinkie, Jew-faced retard. This is no good. Chuck just left. Chuck, you go to Bucks? A Bucks closed. Well, there's another one

a half a block further. Oh, that's a shit. He's got shit face. Well, it's morning python time. I got to shit myself a little bit. I'm not shit myself, but I have to shit as well. All right, well, I got a new role in there, just saying.

I don't get any rolls, folks. Well, that's the other thing with acting, you see, is people, and there's managers that are like, you want to act, you got blow up your social media. Like Stavros, he's getting acting gigs because he's huge. He's famous. Right. And he's, you know, he certainly has a look. He's got a look. And he's a fine actor. But if you get big, people will go, hey, that's the first for us. Not Citig Jew.

Sidic Jew walking by the window. That's exciting. And we're talking about acting. You know what we should do. We should have a little whiteboard with all the races and genders. Check them off as they come by. I love that. Because that would have been a big get right there. That's like a bingo. You know, we got. That one. That guy had the big Abe Lincoln hat and the curly cues. Curly fries. What was I saying?

Oh, if you get huge, people just want to have you in the stuff. Right. Because they know, especially the movie business now is dying, Jerry. Yeah. So they go, hey, we can get Mark Norman. We'll sell 50,000 tickets to the movie. Exactly. It's a sad state of affairs.

But they've always done this. They go, hey, put Elvis in this. Throw Elvis a roll. Right. And you got Elvis on the cover. but what was I going to say blow up so you can get acting work acting stuff you get offered stuff I just don't like this world we're living in

some guy goes hey what's the guy who did Eddington have you heard of this movie Eddington yeah I saw it that's Ari Aster yeah then my agent goes hey Ari Aster wants you to watch his movie and I go that's amazing I go what did he mention me and he goes yeah he's a big fan of your work he wants you to watch the movie and I go this is fishy and they sent me a link to a, what do you call that?

Screener? Screener. And I go, oh, all right. He goes, yeah, I want you to watch a movie, that he wants you to write a review on social media. And I'm like, oh, that's what it is. So they go, oh, this guy's got a million followers. Oh, because you're an influencer. Send him the movie.

He'll write about it. Now there's buzz. Oh. So he doesn't know who I am. He doesn't give a shit about my opinion. He's just like, oh, he's got a couple followers. Send him to the movie, have him write about it, and that's a commercial.

Interesting, maybe. But there's got to be. Something there. I'm sure he sent it to Kylie Jenner, Matt Rife, and the Rizzler. The Big Three. Yes, exactly. The Rizzler? That's a guy?

Oh, he's a fat little kid. You've seen him. I don't think so. He's fat, he's little. He's young. He's a hook? No, he's not that old. Wow.

Ariya, I mean, that's great. You should do it. Getting the good favor of old AA. I guess, but I don't care for the, the, the, the wool over the eyes. Oh, he's a big fan of you. I'm like, he doesn't know who I am. He might, you never know.

He's young, he's cool. He's in the arts. We're in the arts, for God's sakes. You want to go, hey, all right, I'll watch that and write a review. You watch my special in writer review on your social media. It's good for the goose.

It's good for the anal. Well, sometimes you get these people who are famous or big and they write to you a message, and they're like, I love the special I was dying. You're like, well, would you mind making this public? Because you can really help me out here. It'd be nice. I've had multiple people like that that are like,

very big and in different circles outside of our circle I'm a fan you're like fucking post it once That's what you need is the outside circles That's where because people always go Hey I'm putting a special out I'll go do bad friends

Or I'll go do Rogan or I'll go to That they've all gotten on board They like you already Go to the view I know people are mad because they're like You told this story on Sagalos pod And then this pod and I'm like Well I'm trying to get other people

I know I only have so many stories Don't listen to me on other pods if you don't want to hear the stories from the stories. I guess so. That's tough. It's tough because then you want to do well with the good story as well. Yeah, you get a good story.

You want to tell it. But then you also want your fans to watch Sagalow, too. I don't care about his bud. Oh, okay. Or him. How about this email, by the way? You're going to like this. I think you're going to like this email.

I get this today. Hi, Joe. Just listen to your interview on Sag Daddy DePod. Interview. Nice work getting on such a respected show. Are you interested in being a guest? on more shows like this. That's exactly what Pod Pitch helps with.

Is this Ariaster? Instead of spending hours chasing hosts, our platform, blah, blah, blah, blah. Want me to send over the details? P.S., mentioning your Saddaddy pod appearance in future pitches would definitely make you stand out to hosts. Wow. So this is like some kind of roboty thing, but it's a hilarious idea if they're going to reach out, people and be like, this guy's been on Sagd Daddy. I mean, did Sag Daddy blow up in the time that I've been sitting here?

No. He called an interview. So he probably thinks he's like the new Larry King. Very funny to call it an interview. But anyways, this is the thing. This is why I stopped doing a movie pod. Because if Ari Aster knows you, he might go, I love Mark Norman. He's got a podcast.

Let me check it out. And then it cuts to me going, Ari Aster can't make a movie to save his life. That piece of shit. He's overrated. Exactly. And the next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire. So you've got to be careful now because people know you. You can't just say, hey.

That's true. Spielberg sucks. He might be watching. Well, now that poses the question. Does Ronan hate one battle after another? He hasn't seen it yet. All right, good, let's keep it that way. I just know he's going to hate.

This is the first thing I wrote to him. I was like, I fucking loved it. I know you're going to hate it. And I know his complaint is going to be. Because I've heard other people say this. And it's a fair, I want to talk about this other pet peeve I have. It's a fair criticism, lack of character development. Why is this?

I won't give anything away. But you're like, why is this guy? an ultra-radical leftists. Why is this guy racist? How did they come to meet? What's he in this for? They don't really do much of that. That's true.

So it's a fair criticism. I wasn't bothered by it, but I feel like he's going to do that. And then he says this, and this drives me crazy. How do you feel about this? He goes, I didn't see it soon enough. Now the build-up is out of control.

Okay. But I hate people, or when people. I don't hate people. I hate when people use the buildup as a criticism of the film Of course I completely agree

Go in for So just pretend you didn't hear it Like you're gonna judge the movie On the merits of the film Yes If everybody says it's the greatest movie of all time You go Oh it wasn't the greatest movie of all time

Did you like it or didn't you? Right I will say the I can see how the hype Can fuck your head up About how great the movie seems But it doesn't It shouldn't make you go

that was a bad movie. Right. You know, because I got hyped from eight different friends and I was like, oh my God, I can't wait.

And it was great. But I did get the hype a little much because like the first five minutes I'm waiting to be jizzed on. Right. Come on. Where is it?

So yeah. But great film. I mean, me and Salakus went and the guy goes, you want to spend 10 more bucks and get the 4D extravaganza? And I go,

yeah, I want four dicks. Spits the water on you and shit? Spits water on you. It puts a cock in your mouth. I mean, the seats go like this. It was so cool. Really?

Well, that scene, I don't want to give anything away, but the scene on the highway at the end? That's special. That's a special scene. When those seats were going up like, I was in it. I was in that fucking Mustang. Wow.

See, I don't like the spit. To me, that stuff, the spit in the water is when you go see the 12 monkeys four, whatever it's called. It's planet of the monkeys. Oh, yes.

Some bullshit. Sure. This is cinema. But it enhanced it for sure. I mean, it was like getting a handy. And in handy. And handy. I don't know what the fuck.

But, yeah, I'm going to see it again. I loved it. I thought it was fun as fuck. There was a couple moments I had little things where I'm like, I'm a little much. But Benicio del Toro, he was amazing. DiCaprio was great. Sense, the beer, the Modellos. I mean, and Sean Penn's going to win an Oscar.

That was beautiful. Very mirrored. I don't want to give too much away, but it's, you know, it just shows the right and the left how they're not that different. It's like secret societies and tunnels and extremism and all this. Yeah, it was fun as fuck. It flew by. The theater was full, which I liked.

That was fun, and there was laughs, and I was dying, I was ear to ear. And now I have the thing, we've talked about this before, but I have the thing now when I get a sitter, and now you're out, so the baby's being sat, and I'm out with the wife, and you have popcorn and candy, see you, and the theater's full, so you're like, this is awesome. Yes. So I saw F1, and I was like, this movie fucking rules. Yeah.

I saw Eddington, and I was like, this is amazing. So it's possible I have that tilt. Sure. And I might see it a second time and be like, maybe I didn't like as much. Or maybe I'll be like, this is even better than I thought. But I was just blown, Jerry. It's almost like showing an Amish guy, bosom buddies.

He's like, oh, my God, look at the picture. Look at the laughs, the jokes, the kerfuffle. I love it. It's like Eddie Murphy's a bit about the Ritz Cracker. This is a regular cracker Yeah So I loved it

I thought it was so fucking fun Chuck you haven't seen it yet Not yet The scene on the roof I mean there's some beautiful Just shots Yeah

Seed on the roof With the skateboarders jumping I mean Oh my God I was so pretty Howling I was howling Yeah

Benicio is great It was It was tremendous Good fun And Chuck You might have to help This FedEx guy Oh, boy.

I don't know if your spine can take it. That's Sherrod. You are right there, spine, Bifida? Oh, boy, yeah, I don't care, but I'm teasing. I'm joking. I feel bad. I care very much. Spinal tip.

Have you seen the trailer for that? The new one? Yeah. No. I couldn't even watch. Everybody says naked guns pretty good. I couldn't do it. No, I can't do it either.

Boy, Chuck is a real home run. Look at this guy. He's out there. Home mode. Now, he's doing a little. thing with his back. That's very funny. He's a funny guy. If he wasn't around comedians, it'd be a funny guy.

With us, it really makes him less funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But hey, great film. I saw it at 11 a.m. And 42nd Street. I love a morning film. I wish there was more people in there, though. What do you got?

An architect. Oh, that's important. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. This is all part of the lawsuit, Jerry. So you're just in a lawsuit. I am in deep. You don't feel like a lawsuit guy.

I'm not a lawsuit guy. You're wearing swim trunks. I mean, it's just insane to think about. I had to go, how about this, Faddy? I had to go to a high rise in Midtown Manhattan to fight with my guy. That is crazy. So there's me, a lawyer, the realtor, the guy who are suing, scary Turkish guy. I was like, my friend, my friend, I don't know, oh, do you know, oh, do you know, oh, and his lawyer.

who's like a crazy Hasidic Jew, and we're all going, ah, and then some guy had to go, all right, all right, we've got to have a real meeting here. Everybody chill out. I mean, and then the guy goes, me, you in a room. To me, like the contractor guy, we're suing, goes, Oh, my God. Give me five minutes alone in a room with you.

I could change your mind. And my lawyer goes, I'd advise against that. And I was like, I don't think that's a good idea. And he's like, I feel like I need to talk to you man to man. You don't know what you're doing. this is crazy you're making a big mistake and I was like you made a big mistake but and I'm like I'm an adult I'm yelling at a man wow a Turkish man this is just too much for my brain I didn't take a nap oh it was horrible I was going into the more no I think we think we I think we won

wow but it was I lost a lot of money on it but it was the principal right he fucked me Jesus so I had to I couldn't let him fuck me and just get away Scott free so I still got fucked, but I had to... But doesn't he owe you money now or something? A little, but I'm still the legal fees are bananas. Wow, this is crazy. Yeah. All because the house was shoddy or something like that?

Yeah, he screwed us, and I put, you know, a foot would go through the floor. He said, it's all done. He said, what do you want? We said, we want this, this, and this. He did everything completely wrong, just up to his code. And the thing where the new guy came and he was like, that's illegal, that's crazy. That'll

kill you. You got a baby in here? What are you nuts? So where did you find the first guy? Well, the first guy, I don't want to say too much because he might triple Sueby. This is in midst of a law thing here. A boy named Sue, but he was like, hey, I own this house. If you buy it from me, I'll fix it up too. Give you a nice little package deal.

And we were such a retard gullible queefs. We were like, sounds great. Hey, two for one. And before we know it, he's, you know, putting. putting glass on the floor and called it a wood. Well, whoever the new guy is, fucking knocked it out of the park, because this is unbelievable. I mean, this room, I've said it before,

this is one of the best rooms I've ever set footed in my life. Oh my God, thank you. It's just beautiful. The blue with the brick, the office, I mean, we need to do something about the window shades at some point. That's true. But this is like, I would spend my whole life down here. I spend a lot of time down here, wrote a lot of jokes down here, but yeah,

it's funny because the wife was like, she saw me setting all this up, and she goes, yikes boy you don't know if classic man can't decorate unless you're gay and then now everybody's like hey it's great yeah it looks fantastic i put that desk together put that together put that together put that together put this together put that shelf together put this together feels good to do it by hand i feel like a jedediah monomish contractor that's got about 10 minutes left but yeah it's going down that's going to be in home alone that spider's going to fall right off top of it well this looks like it's not you it's the it looks like the thinness it looks like popsicle sticks it is

It looks like if you nudged it, it would just come to part. Yeah, yeah. It's flimsy. If you did one of these, it would just and then collapse. But it all looks great, and we're here. We're queer. By the way, have we told a story? I don't really have a story.

I talk about the special. What are you got? You got any goods? I don't have anything. What do I have? I'm so fucking out of my asshole. Yeah. And I'm making this movie.

We're in pre-production on Skank Fest, the documentary. Oh, my God, this is really happening. Oh, it's happening, baby. Yeah, I got nothing. What have I even been doing? I don't even know. Well, you know what it was? I was home this week.

You talk about, like, now where you go to Australia, everything's just great. So you don't have that greatest stories because you're like, it was great. The shows were great. The people were great. The vacation was great. Now, I'll take, when I'm home, I take the weekend off so Sarah can work. Yeah. So I'm literally at home playing with a baby.

He goes to bed and I watch television. Oh, that sounds great. It's wonderful. but I don't have a story. I'm like, boy, I went to my balcony and smoked a cigar. That was crazy. I was puffing in and puffing out. Whoa, in and out.

I mean, I will say I have a balcony, and I always want to watch something while I'm smoking. Of course. But you've got to be outside. I can't smoke inside. You get the phones? The 90s. Well, I have the TV, and I just click the chair around this way and cocked the TV this way, and football I don't need to hear. So I watched a football game with a cigar.

Oh, that's nice. was beautiful and fun. Of course you have the thing where you're like, your piece of shit, you should be outworking, what are you doing? But, you know, being with a two-year-old for fucking 14 hours is work in itself. Totally. I put my feet up. And now with our job, so much of the work is

text this guy back, email this guy, record a little fucking, oh, whoa, I always used to suck my dick for fun. So, you know. What about, uh, you got that you got that nice bar across street from your house with that outdoor seating. Yes. What if me and you get a couple stogies?

I think they've got a TV out there. Oh, yeah, there's TV. I've seen the open playing on that puppy. I don't think you can smoke out there. Real? It's outdoor. You can't smoke outdoors. Is that right?

Well, where do you smoke? I spoke on my balcony. I upset some people because the people above the smoke went right in the window. But they couldn't pinpoint me. Oh, good. So they were like, there somebody's smoking out there. And then the guy, the super, my building, he's a smoker. And he likes me because he likes comedy.

He loves Schultz. I told you. He showed me a 14-minute Schultz pit. I was like, oh, wow, it's great. Damn. And then he was like, who fuck him? He's like, they don't know where you're coming from. Who cares?

But there is a spot by the boats where we could go smoke. Okay. You should come over. We'll smoke. Now we're talking about it. We'll get a bonus. I love it. That's big.

By the way, if you ever want to see my house, not my house, but the neighborhood, the scene in Wolf of Wall Street where he's on the boat, the FBI agent, Tyler, is that his name? That's quite a pull. No, Kyle Chandler. Either way. That whole scene, that's my mall. everything in the background. I'm there every single day. Wow. I put it together the other day. I went and watched it. I was like, there we are. This is our house. You got that great. I don't want to give your whole address away,

3819 Camp Street. But you got that, you wrap around like a U-turn around that river there, that bend, and you got, what is it, JP McSwarleys? What's that place called? It's one of these famous New York restaurants that they moved downtown. Oh, PJ Clarks. PJ Clarks. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's great. Oasters on the half shell, right on that water. Big yachts and everything. It's very fun. And in the winter, I don't know if you've been there yet for the win. Yeah, I was there last year.

Okay. They got the ice rink. Oh, they got an ice rink, baby. Ice rick, Jerry. That's when you know you've made it. You're right by the ice. Yeah, it's all very exciting. We've got to come down.

We recorded there for a minute. That was fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah, very happy. Hey, hey, folks. Two of the story is brought you by Mood. It's 2025. Stop texting your dealer that makes you smoke with him.

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That's fabletics.com slash Tuesdays. We'll have it in the show notes. You've got to get on this. The best, Jerry. The best. Speaking of a inhaling. So Boulder,

I think it's more elevation than Denver. Sure. So I kept getting headaches, and I was like, am I hungover, am I gay, do I have AIDS? What is this? The last thing you need is headaches. Yeah, and the guy at the theater goes,

you know, we have oxygen. And I go, wow, come on. I don't get the oxygen thing. We have oxygen here, but they have a tank. Right, but it's thin. So it's harder to pull it in, I think. Is that it? Thin air?

I think so. But air isn't just oxygen. Oxygen's a piece of air. So you get direct oxygen. Ah, this carbohydrates are CO4. Absolutely. So I go, yeah, hit me with the oxygen. So he pulls open a door, 18 green metal tanks, like out of jaws.

Wow. Pulls when it looks like a helium thing where you go, you know, and he goes, whip, whip, poop, put some mask on my face like Bain. I was born in the darkness. And he goes, and you go, ooh, I feel good. Really? It works. Man, you feel like, you know, they pump me into casinos as well. I've heard that.

Yeah, so, oh, okay, just making sure my address is it showing now. But, yeah, oh, my God, I popped that oxygen. Best set of my life. No kidding. I thought they were going to give you the two, but the two little prongs. Oh, I don't get it to the prongs. You know, that thing? Yeah, that's what they always give the guy who's about to die on death row.

This guy. Yeah. Yeah, just be able to take a hit of it is quite nice, it seems like. It felt good. You're euphoric and the headache went away. And you don't realize how much that elevation is wearing on you. Oh, yeah. I had bad headaches in Denver just recently.

There you go. I went to a festival, and there was a guy on stage, and he had, like, a can. It looked like a Coke can, and it was oxygen. Whoa. I don't know how he did it. Oh, I think they sell those in Denver now. Yes, I don't know what it is, but... That was in Spaceballs.

Remember that? He opened it. Fresh air. By the way, they're remaking that, too. Really? Spaceballs Deuce. Wow. Boy, this is sad time to be.

The good thing about PTA is he made a goddamn original film. What a concept. Yeah, and he makes such different movies, and he's good, that guy. This one felt more, had a more Tarantino vibe, I thought. Yeah, there was very Tarantino-y at different times. The black chick up on the bank table going, I'm jungle pussy, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's such a Tarantino moment.

I had a pregnant woman with the machine guy. Yes, yes. That was fun, and what was I just going to say? I had something to say about it. Oxygen, mountains. No, was it the Tarantino thing? Oh, speaking of film and filmmaking, what a bummer for these yogurt shop murder people. They solved it.

Well, they got the movie out. No, but they solved it like a week after the movie came out. If they just held on, they could have had a solution, like a resolution. Oh, I see. They put out a four-part dock, and then it ends with just like, so we never know, hopefully. And then like three days later, they're like, we got them. But is the chicken of the egg? Did the movie coming out?

help solve it? No, I don't think so. I think so. I think it was just DNA. Because that was hilarious. Part of the doc was like the DNA, this DNA of another guy, and they're like, well, it's been contaminated. Oh, there's your wife.

Oh. Glad I realized it was her before I said something. Yeah. But they figured out, they're like, oh, DNA contamination. It keeps getting contaminated by the same guy, which is like the funniest thing because people have like something in their head. They're like, well, someone else's DNA,

keeps showing up, like, no, no, no. It was these three retards. Some guy just keeps contaminating it. And then obviously, that's the killer. Wow, it took them long enough. But they figured it out, and it's this serial killer guy who killed himself in 1999. So he's dead. But then, ballistics say, my brother-in-law lives in Austin, so he's got his nose to the grindstone.

And he said, ballistic said there was two shooters. But it's possible that one guy just had two guns like Tarantino. Right. Like he was just like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Billy the kid. At the yogurt shop. So, I guess I don't get a motive because he's dead. Well, I think he's a serial killer.

I think about maybe, and he raped the girls, I think, too. Oh, well, that's a motive. What a fucking awful thing. Sad, said, two, three cute little, like, 13-year-old girls. Four. Four, even. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

I finished coming by three. How about people that are like, I'm just going to fuck women against their will? Crazy. Those are real. Stinky pies. Just jerks. A duty heads. Just a real buzz kills.

How do you get it up with that situation? And then it's also like, I've gotten like the, oh, she's like, it's not in yet. You're like, oh, shit. So imagine going against the will with the kicking and the screaming and the clawing. But I think that's all part of their thing. The kink.

That's the kink. I mean, I don't want to call it a kink because it feels like for you. Yeah, there you go. Okay, thank you. The kink. Because my kink is like, you know, a shoe in my ass and my father's headshot. Right. But, I mean...

My kink is leaving after. That's my big move. Is that a old joke of yours? Maybe. It feels like an old joke of yours. But if not, it could be something. Hey, new stuff. I need it.

I know. Believe me. Maybe we should bounce like the old days. Oh, I'd love to bounce. Chuck bounces. I got a bounce. All right, I'll bounce. Good fabric softener.

Yeah. Hold on. I got nothing new. I mean, I have all new, but nothing new, new, new. What do you mean? Like, my act is all relatively new. It's not on the special, it's the last three months, and I got about 45 minutes, and it's cooking, it's nice, it's killing. But I have nothing new, like, in the last two weeks.

Got it. You want the, like, new, fresh new. Maybe you haven't even tried it yet new. Yeah, that's exciting. You know, just like something written down that you're like, that's going to be something. How cool is our job, but we go, hey, I got an idea. idea, let me go work on it. Let me go bring this idea and flesh it out.

It's such a cool gig. Yeah, it's feeling an artist. It's very nice. You are an artist. Isn't that crazy me? I fart. Yeah, you're a fartist and an artist. Yeah, okay.

They're not just an artist, you're a successful one. That's even rarer. Very rare. Very rare. Yeah, it's very exciting. And you pump out, Jerry. Oh, I try to pump. Like oxygen and boulder.

You're pumping. But now I got all these people. This is the problem. problem with this business and this time we're living in, you've got to put stuff out, and I don't want to give the act away. Sure. So now I go, and I'll goof around for eight minutes a show,

six minutes a show, four minutes a show, and then you put that together over the course of a weekend. You put it up, put it on YouTube, feed the algorithm. Yeah. Got to give them the people to something. Yeah. And then they go, boy, you used to be good. Now you're doing this bullshit. And I'm like, well, it's not, that's not my act. Right. I got people emailing me like, is it just going to be that crowdwork horse shit? I'm like, I put out

Four hours. I have a fifth hour. Wow. This is, it's a 22-minute video over the course of five hours. That's four minutes an hour. Right. And it's funny. Right. But you can't figure it out.

You're like, I got to put something out. So you put something out, and people go, I like that. And they go, I hate it. You should be doing this. I'm like, well, I am doing that. I'm doing that and a little bit of this. Yeah, I know. I know.

People are sick. I put out a special, whatever, two years ago. and it was 54 minutes and they were like not even an hour and I'm like I could give you 45 I could give you 30 right but I gave you 55 because I edited it to the best shit yes and 55 is an hour I know go back and watch whatever some of them are 53 or whatever yeah yeah or they're an hour and a half

and you're like this is 20 minutes of nonsense and then one guy who we all like and respect put out a long one they went could have been a half hour shorter right like all right well but Again, we're calling the people eight people who are cunts. I know. I always forget that. It's the negativity bias. Because most people come up after the show and they're like, I'm not even on Instagram,

and they're just shaking and take a photo, and they kiss you on the lips, and they love you. Right. You know, it's annoying, and this is going to get controversial. And maybe I shouldn't put it in. How are we looking? Damn. Not even an hour. So, well, you go like, hey, this black guy or this Jew or whatever, and they go,

hey not all Jews are the same hey you know that that's one guy don't say the whole group but then if you go if you say something bad about Jews they go oh you hate Jews and I'm like well how come it's not one guy it was one guy it was

when I said they all do this you go no that was one guy but if I go hey this guy sucks they go oh you hate you're anti-Semitic and I'm like well how come when you are bad at me it's all Jews right but when I say it's all Jews you go no it's one guy Hold on, I'm trying to follow.

Sorry, I know it's a little confusing. So, like, give me an example. You say, oh, these Jews over here, they smell like shit. And the one guy goes, no, that guy smelled like shit. It's not all Jews. I see, okay, all right. And you go, okay, that's fair. Okay, got it.

Then you go, hey, you get caught going, hey, this Jew guy smells like shit. They go, oh, you hate all Jews? Oh, this guy's anti-Semitic. Right. And I'm like, well, how come now it's all Jews? Uh-huh. When I made fun of the Jew, you went, hey, that's one guy. Uh-huh.

You know, if you go, all Jews do this, they go, no, that one guy does that. Right. But if you go, this Jew's a piece of shit, they go, this guy's anti-Semitic. So now it's all Jews. When it's bad, it's all Jews. Right, right, right. Does that make sense? Well, you gave the same example both times.

I should have mixed it up a little bit. So you've got to say, oh, man, like, for instance, Jews love baseball. Okay, that's true. Because many, many Jews, but obviously not all Jews look. That's a positive thing. They love baseball. Yeah. Jews love baseball.

And you go, well, not all Jews love baseball. Right, right. You go some Jews. You can't put all. Yeah. Do you care if I throw an example out? Got an example. Because, Chuck, we need a third administrative, whatever you call that.

Do you see what I'm saying? I see what I'm saying. This is example. Let's say you say the N-word. And you're like, my buddy who's black said I could say it. Okay. Then they go, well, he doesn't count for everybody. He's one black guy.

But then if you say something... If you call that guy, some guy at N-word... Then you're racist. Yes. That's a better example. Okay. That's good. Well, I think...

Well, that's a tough example, too, because if the N-word is in your vernacular, that means you probably have some kind of... Some hate in your heart. Yeah. For the whole race. That's a tough word. But I see what you're saying. Absolutely.

All right. We don't have the examples right, but I understand. And that's why I workshoped it here, because if I pulled that shit out on a podium, when I get canceled, At a press conference, they're going to go, what the fucks this guy talking about? I'm like, no, no, no, I have something,

but if you don't have a succinct argument, you look like a re-tuck. But I am blown away on a serious note, but we'll make it silly. Please. Like the acceptance of anti-Semitism is just really fascinating. Mind-boggling.

Because the other day, it was 9-11. I follow all these cinema Instagrams, cinematologist, and the movie lover and movie farts, whatever. Cinephile. And that's my whole algorithm. And someone posted like a photo of Al Pacino in Serpico with the Twin Towers in the back. And then there was like 9-11 thing.

70% of the comments were like Jews did it or like gifts or jiffs, whatever they're called of like Hasidic Jews dancing. And it's like just now completely acceptable in common to be like the Jews did 9-11. And then Tucker Carlson, your boy, not your boy, but some of these people, they got mad at me for critiquing. Ari's boy. There you go. He's like at the Charlie Kirk funeral being like, the Jews killed Jesus and the Jews killed Charlie Kirk. And he's like

laughing. And people are like, oh yeah. It's like fucking crazy. Wow. Yeah. There's no repercussion either. You know, you go, hey, black me, whatever. And people go, get BLM down there. He's a racist. Kill his, you know, get rid of his job. But with the Jew stuff,

you're kind of, Scott Free. And Brad Garrett, not the entertainment lawyer. Brad Garrett, if the Balls could drop. Oh, my favorite book. Brad Garrett, yeah. Is that over there? It's around here somewhere.

That is a classic. He posted some conspiracy theory video about Charlie Kirk was an inside job. And he's like, we should ask Netanyahu. Like Brad Garrett, who's like a Hollywood actor presenting at the Emmys, everybody loves Raymond. It's just like, Metanyahu, whatever the fuck his name is, BB. Bebe. Netanyahu. Benjamin Netanyahu.

I was combining his names. He did it. He killed Charlie Kirk. I'm like, this is fucking nuts. Wow. This is fucking crazy. Well, it's, you know what it is? The Jew hate has become a conspiracy where hating Mexicans is racist.

Right. Jew hate has become this like, oh, you're in on something. This guy knows he's got the head on the grindstone or the railroad tracks or whatever it is. And you know something. Right. When it's hating Mexicans, they go, ah, it's just shitty. Yeah. I saw Tim Dillon, our friend.

a little comedian. He had a guy on that was like implying the Jews did Charlie Kirk as well. Tim's like, what's crazy? I'm like, this is it's strange how accepted it is and you know in Nigeria they're killing Christians like hotcakes

and no one cares and I think 16 million Christians have died in the past 20 years by the hands of like they go to church and they just mow them down. They have footage of it. Wow. And no one cares because they're not, what is it? No Jews no news is that old term. Yeah, that's a big one. And you go, I thought you guys all gave a

shit about the babies and the families and the murder and the genocide. Millions have died over here. And this is, he's still in the thousands. I'm not saying it's good, but shouldn't it go big to small with the, with the compassion? You would think. Thank you. That speaks with a is great, but yeah, Jews did not do 9-11 folks, and the Jews did not kill Charlie Kirk, and they did, yeah,

they did ruin my neighborhood. Oh, Kennedy, too. That's another big one, too. They're like, ah, the Jews get Kennedy. I'm like, what are you nuts? Yeah. Sorry. Lee Harvey Austin. Yeah, I was born.

Folks. Osberg. Anyways, that was a weird ending. Yeah, yeah. I think we had fun. You know, my best. biggest Jewish stereotype is? We hang out with a lot of heaps. I run a podcast

with one. I run two shows with two Jews. Very, I'm steeped in the whitefish, bagel, locks, gefilted Jewish community. Number one stared at ain't cheap. That's bullshit. It ain't whatever.

Running the media. They all can't get specials. But interrupting. That is the number one Jewish stereotype. Take it to the bank. Think about every... Sodor's Jewish? Soder bomb. Oh, bomb.

Yeah, that's good. But yeah, Soderstein. No, just saying, big interruptors. What about Veter? All right, he's the exception, but he's barely Jewish. He sold coke. He played hockey. That's true. He's bald. He's old. He's old. He's selling coke. You know, he sell things.

That's true, but he's a skinhead. Oh, yeah. Good point. Uh-huh. I have a point. Cantra's quartered you He's not a big interrupter He's a good listener A quarter They like a quarter

And a dime But where are you gonna be there Slopi Jalopi Well first of all I feel terrible I hurt your feelings I zinged you earlier I can't stop thinking about it

I'm very sorry I was trying to be funny I didn't have a rapport retort I feel terrible And then you thought that was me being upset I just couldn't think of anything

No I feel bad I'm sorry It's charming You're a good man I love you I don't do it I think you're great All right. So I got a bunch of dates. I keep forgetting to plug them. I'm so bad at plugging.

Boy, the problem, this is the problem with getting a modicum of success is now when you sell tickets, you're supposed to sell all the tickets. Yeah. And then they send you that report. It's the worst part of my life. Oh, I hate the numbers here. You get the email. It's your agent. Here are the numbers. And you go, good God, I've got to kill myself. I know. You've got to get to work. And they're like, well, don't worry, it's a last-minute market. I'm like, I better fucking hope it's a last-minute market. Have you heard the old line in the Wall Street? Words, Talk, Numbers, Scream.

And boy, they ain't the truth. That's good stuff. Wait, when does this come out? What day is this? Are you fucking serious? We are way ahead. Well, I'm going to Islamabad. Africa for a while.

Okay. Well, this weekend, I'm at the day. And I'm at the Dallas Improv. And then the, why don't I have my dates better? I am a very bad businessman. I'm at the Dallas Improv this weekend. That's going to be fucking fun as hell. I love that room.

Addison, baby. Great room. I cannot find my dates. God damn it. New Brunswick Stress Factory. November, I'm missing comics come home for this. So please come. November 6th through the 8th.

And then the DC Improv. That is November. November, Jesus Christ, I think 13th through the 15th. I don't fucking know. But one of those dates, the DC Improv, Dallas Improv, New Brunswick Stress Factory. Oh, and then Lexington. I said Louisville.

I'm an asshole. I apologize to all the Kentuckans out there. I confuse my L cities. It's not that big of a stay. You can make it to Lexington. So Lexington, whatever that. Oh, I found my dates. Comedy on Broadway.

That's a great club. You got a good run of hot rooms there, Fettie. Well, I got the best agent in the sky. guy. The DC improv is November 20th through the 22nd. Sorry, this is going on way too long. And that's it. Thank you. Oh, watch the movie, please. There you go, folks.

Hey, hey, quafs out there. I'm at Magoobes in Baltimore. Four shows, two are sold out, so go grab the other ones if you can. Grab your partner for a dance. Then we're at D.C. as well. Two shows in the Kodak Center

in Rochester, New York. Skank Fest Nola. That's going to be nuts. Niagara Falls in Ontario, the Casino, Fallsview Casino. And then we're off to San Diego at the Observatory, two shows, and Minneapolis at a casino. And then I'm doing some gigs with Gillis at the arenas. Oh, nice. Easy money, 20 minutes, can't complain. So come on out, say hello, get some bodega cat, quefe it up. What do you got, chew, chew, chew, train. Check out my podcast fun bearable big drama Ray's leaving the show

oh oh my god Ray Harrington is out the door wow I gotta ask him how he did that yes but all through October we're doing a big Friday the 13th month that was a reference to the regs not this show I get it all right and yeah we're gonna have a Kane Hodder on

who is a big horror staple who's played Jason in the most Friday the 13th movie wow yeah people love you get some good fucking guests why you book us some people I think Brad's going to do the whole cast of Christmas vacation including Chevy Chase Wow

Red Garrett We're going to do it at Rhode Island Comic Con Damn Netanyahu is behind the murder Can we get him Netanyahu So we're doing that

We're doing a big rundown of all the movies From this actual video rental store That we go to in Connecticut That lets us do it every year It's really fun So check out funbearablepod.com At FunbearablePod It's not going to help them in the business

calling out Netanyahu No, I think the opposite is true. I think the business is all Palat. Did you watch the Emmys? Oh, yeah. Yeah. People think that, but yeah. All right, I guess you're right. Well, that just proves they're not running the media. If Javier Bardem is wearing a kufu. Right. All right, folks.

Sorry, we ended on another weird note. The Jews ruined the episode. That's what they do. Thank you. Bye. Homelessly watching the music die Please believe