Tuesdays with Stories! - 633 Puerto Rican Fattlesnake

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

We're talking SKANKFEST baby!! The ups and downs - the skanks!! Joe steps out on Schtick or Treat, and Mark does a show in a sauna! It's Tuesdays! Our Stuff: - http://www.patreon.com/tuesdays - youtube.com/tuesdayswithstories - Support the show & sign up for your $1/month trial of Shopify. Head to https://www.shopify.com/tuesdays - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold w/ code TUESDAYS @ http://bluechew.com/ - Support the show & find the perfect holiday gifts at http://skims.com/tuesdays - Your Holiday wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code tuesdays at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/tuesdays #chubbiespod - Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat Frames at https://on.auraframes.com/TUESDAYS Promo Code TUESDAYS

Hey Mark, fake banter for the intro. That's all I know how to do. Great. Good to be here. Welcome to Tuesdays with Stories. Hit her in the face with a surfboard. And then the duck fell out of his bag. Surf's up.

And she didn't even flush. Knock, knock. Who's there? Mark Norman and Joe List. Yeah. This Tuesdays with Stories, everybody. No, that's terrible. This is supposed to be cheesy.

Radio is spitting at May. My God, we're here, we're back. It's been a wild ride. Everybody's hurting. I'm still not right. Oh, I'm fucked up. Last night, I got home yesterday from the whole thing. Just a day next year to shoot Lewis.

We're talking about Skagfest, of course. That was three months ago, I know. Oh, yes. Happy New Year. Yesterday evening. And we put the baby down at 7th. He was all fucked up. He was vaping.

He, like, he shaved his head. He's got a fucking skanks tat. to on his asshole. We put him down, and I took, I made love to my wife the first time in eight days, I took a fucking Tylenol PM. I went to bed at 8.30 PM, 1.7 a.m.

Oh, my God. I mean, not even like a piss, a turnover, a snore, just dead to the world for 11 hours. Apple turnover. Well, I can't wait to see your kid's naked roast footage. You better, you better believe, by the way, that naked roast was,

oh, yeah. I thought it was you. I thought it was Brad Williams. That was your son. But yeah, yeah. Wow. What a wild ride. I'm like, I drank for like 49 hours straight.

I'm still off. Yeah. We're old. And you shot all day and did performing as well and sang and did comedy. We did a live pod. I mean, it was, you got a baby there. Can't have been. A lot of plates spinning.

It was great. Well, you got there Saturday. Yeah. We got there Tuesday. But by the time when we were. showed up Friday morning and it was like, it's day one of the Skag Fest. I was like, you've got to be cocking me. My nose is bleeding, my

assholes shitting. Well, wait, when it started what, Thursday? It starts Friday. This is the first year. I usually fly in Thursday evening so I can be there Friday morning because I like to soak up every minute of Skaginx. But this year, they have, well, every

year, they have the kickoff party. That's for like the VIPs and people that bought tickets early. But I never go to it. I'm just like, I'm in arrest. But we were shooting the docks. I was like, well, we have to be there for that. But we also flew in Tuesday because Wednesday is skank feast. A feast. That's the crew, like the 40-person, like, paid skank fest crew. Yeah, Rebecca, Christine, the whole gang. And Lewis, and then all those people that

we don't know their names, that we see them every time we go to gas, digital or leisure skanks. I like to keep it that way. And they're like, hey, Mark, I love you. It's great seeing you. You just go, buddy boy. Yeah, looking good, Fannie. I mean, people who faces I've seen for 30 years, 10 times a month, and you're just like, I got no idea who this person is. No idea. And that's how we like it. I know Harrington and Shannon.

Yeah, they're good eggs. They might be another one that I know, but mostly. Alex. Alex, of course. She did stand up and killed. I watched the whole thing. I was there front row. Unreal.

Wow. And Mikey G. Or whatever his name is murdered. Then this gay blind Mike. This Mike G. And gay blind Mike. or G-mic. There's G-mike and gay blind Mike.

G-mike, yeah. Because gay blind Mike is almost G-mic. Oh, yeah. Gay, it's a guy. Yeah, there you go. Still the same O-G, but I'm in low-key. So, anyways, we went to Skank Feast. Yeah.

And that was fun, because that was in that, you know the restaurant. It's from 1918. Arnod's. Oh, Arnose. Our nose. That's a classic. Which is like a 105-year-old restaurant, and it's a nice place. Beautiful.

No blacks. Live jazz suits the thing And they're like Please wear a collar So I go out and put on a shirt Because we're filming Welcome to the South And I'm thinking

Okay this is a fancy restaurant I looked it up The steak four course meal They spent They revealed on camera About nine grand for this Oh That's where the money's going

So I show up In a shirt and a thing And it's skank tards Sure So everybody It looked like Charlie Sheen In Major League They got like sleeveless

shirts and like, you know, the tux t-shirt. Yeah, yeah. It's like, she drives me crazy. Hoo, who, hoo, who, who, who, fine young cannibals? Yeah, then they wear a suit with no sleeves. Oh, I kind of remember that. I should have gone ACDC.

Well, whatever. So you show up there, and then Lewis gets fucking smashed. But he was being hilarious. He was so fat. Yeah, he's fat as he's ever been for Skank Fest. That's rattlesnake. That's good. Yeah.

That's good. Write that down. Count it. What are a reckon fattlesnake. But anyway, he was banged up, Rebecca was banged up, and then Lewis... This is Wednesday. This is Wednesday. Oh, yeah.

Lewis gave a speech. It was beautiful. And I, you know, we're making a film here. So I kept tapping the glass being like, someone make a speech. Oh, good for you. Got that going. But we had crab, which was served cold. That's normal?

Yeah, it's all traditional. Get out of here. It's fresh. I don't want cold food. Cold crab is good. Nah, I didn't care for it. It was like, come. It comes hot.

Yeah, that's true. You can wait for it. It's a cold cum. Cold cum. Cold cum. Cold cum. Cold come. Cold cut.

Anyway, so we had some of that. Then Jumbull... I confused gumbo and jambolaia. Gumbo's a soupy stew. It's brown and jumbalaya is a rice dish. We had gumbo. Oh, I love gumbo. Which was good.

That was fun. And then a big steak. And then we were waiting for dessert. But everyone was so fucked up at that point that I was like, let's go ahead and get out of here. Rebecca gave a speech. And then it was fun because I'm filming Rebecca's speech. And I look over and Lewis is going doing the she's drunk thing. That's fun.

So that was fun. That was Wednesday night. But, you know, we were out all night, Wednesday. And then Thursday, the kickoff, you've got to come for this kickoff party next year. Yeah. It was at the Joy Theater. Oh, I've done that. Oh, I've done it.

My first theater ever. That's a beautiful theater because it feels small and intimate. It's 600 seats. I saw a free Willie there in, like, 95. The band? No, he used to be a movie. No kidding. Yeah, it's old, baby.

Oh, that's awesome. Joy to the world. Where's the joy? Lori Petty. What? I prefer Tom. What? You don't like Lori Petty?

Kit. I love Kit. Tank girl. Come on. I love point break. I mean, her in those shorts with the short hair and the blue eyes. I love blue eyes. Petty Cash.

She's got the boy bond. The short hair. Get out of here. That's right. Fine. Not a fan. I'd rather bang Keanu. Well, he's hot, too.

They have the same hair. Yeah, Utah. Give me two. Oh. But yeah, the Joy Theater was fun. And I had the honor of going first because I had another gig, which was a nightmare. But Lewis went out first. So the first real performance of Skype, Lewis just went out and kind of did a big intro.

It gave me the nicest intro ever. I almost cried. Oh, boy. And so I went out and it was fun. And, you know, I see a guy in a wheelchair. And then right behind him, Salakius, right up in there. Day one, up against the railing. And it was fun.

And it's funny what Skang Fest does to you. Yes. Because I'm on stage for 30 seconds at Skangfest. I'm just telling a story about the time. I came in a woman's eye and she drove to the airport and couldn't see. And I've never thought about telling this on stage. But you just walk out and you see their faces

and you're like, I came in a woman's eye one time. Well, that's the place to do it. Yeah. That's what they want to hear. They want the real shit. These are all comedy, psycho nerds. They're Reddit people. So they've heard the act.

They've heard all the stories. They want something new and fresh. Well, you know what fucks me up about Skank Fest? And I was saying this last night to Sarah. there's so many people there and you're just a massive celebrity everyone's so nice there It's beautiful

Everybody's taking your photo And saying how much they love you And you're killing and they're excited And you get a huge pop It's like insane I know it's a love fest So you kind of feel like All of the comedy fans are here

And they love me Jerry They really love me And you can feel it But you realize Only 000001% of the fans are there And there's still thousands of people that are like, this looks like the dumbest thing.

What a hack. Look at this piece of shit wearing a hat. I hope you die. And you're like, ah, fuck. I thought I had won everybody over. I just won over the 2,000 people that are there. But they're there and you're there and that's all that matters. That's why it's a beautiful thing.

It's an island. We're all on it. Oh, it was special. It was wonderful. Somebody posted a great Insta story because Lewis and I did a big dirty dancing thing where I was running down the aisle. I saw it. I was there. It was goofy.

And then somebody posted, imagine hating Skank Fest and this is what we're doing. It's just us like I'm running and jumping in his arms And we're both in costumes I love it well that's the thing from the outside Everybody's like it's this alt-right Degenerate piece of shit asshole They all say the N-word on stage Which possibly happened

But It's a beautiful thing You're not there You don't know what this is It's great It was so fucking fun It's special And most of my best stories

I can't even tell Because they involve just complete lunatics Or debauchery or sex Or threesomes But I won't her if there's a deep dark in the corridor of Brooklyn, some female comic who's like, look at these idiots,

and then she sees some photos, and she's like, ah, that looks fun. But she could never go now. She's ruined her, she's, it's not her brand. I think everybody in comedy

would like to experience it at some point. I think so, too. But I say that, but even our close friend, Samaril, he's like, I don't want any part of that. I try to tell him,

I'm like, I think you would love it. I know, he's a booze bag. But some people, you know, they want to go to bed or whatever. But you,

and I said this. Oh, I said this a lot during the weekend like Skankfest is whatever you want to make it. Yes. Like there's people like Kim Kognan goes full Skankfest.

She's doing acid. She's got a fucking outfit on, a cowboy hat. She's doing characters. She's stage diving. She got fucking concussed. Which one of the highlights of the festival and anything was so fun. The last night, I mean, I'm all over the place.

Concussed. Lewis hit her? She, um, Not in a while. But she got a concussion the second night at whatever you call it, a goddamn comedy jam, which is fucking as I was singing. And her and Stanhope came out and staged dope while I was singing, which was so fun. Yeah. And Stanhope had his cocktail, and he kept, he didn't even spill it.

He's just like, he got a big, big drink. He's on fucking amphetamines or methamphetamines or some other thing. A horse drank. Everybody's on something. So that was great. And then she did a stage dive, hit someone in the head, went down. of the floor hit her head and this great video footage she has a camera guy with her.

She's literally looking into the camera going, I'm concussed. Whoa. I have a concussion. But it's like they're singing fucking, you know, limp is good or whatever. And so you just hear like, give me something to break.

And everyone's going crazy. And she's like, I have a concussion. Oh my God. Loses her voice. Literally can't speak. She's walking around Sunday like, I can't a dog. And then she comes out on the comedy jam last night

and she's looking hot with a fucking boots and booty shorts and a hat. And she's like, I was told I can't sing, and I shouldn't be here because I have a concussion and no voice. But I don't give a fuck. Wow.

Killing in the name. And then she's stage diving. She's literally crowd surfing. Wow. I didn't run out there and like, I'm trying to like pull her by the boot. I'm like, this woman's going to die here. Unbelievable.

But it's skank fest. Unreal. Good for her. What a badass. She's the real deal. So anyways, the point is you have that, but then other people, they just do their set and they go to bed.

Yeah, and that's fine too. I think it can be whatever you want to make it. Rachel Feinstein is there. She's having a cocktail. She'll have some gumbo. She'll do her set. She'll laugh, and then she'll go home and play with her kid. It's all fine.

Katie Hannigan's there. Katie was funny. She was like, my goal is to stay here until 10 p.m. Oh, that's adorable. She's like kind of just doing laps hanging. She's reading the Bible. Yeah. And then it was like 9.53 and I'm like, I'm going back to the hotel for a nap.

I have a ride. Do you want a ride? She's like, close enough. Let's go. Oh, that's great. So that was fun, but I'm all over the place. I want to hear about your life, your festival. Well, can I go backwards or should we do it a whole Skank Fest?

No, no, go back. We'll go up. We'll go over. We'll do it all. All right. First of all, it was the New York Comedy Festival, whatever that means. I totally forgot about that. That's how long ago it was.

I know. It's a week ago. I know, but that's how crazy Skank Fest was. Yes, yes. Sarah just said that. She's like, remember you were the man of the year at a theater? I know. I literally totally forgot about it.

We got to get into that. Salak, you shot a great bonus. Just kidding. He didn't shoot anything. Oh, yeah, that's right. I kept saying, what are you rolling? How much you get? He goes, that's probably like nine minutes.

He didn't shoot anything. Boy, I wouldn't. Who would hire that guy? Well, because Louis was there, and Louis doesn't want to be filled, but I'm like, film around him. We need a bonus. I know. But he got some great stills. So this week's Patreon is still photos.

Well, Ken Burns it. We'll just put his stills in slowly and move him around a little bit. Stephen Stills. Yeah, Crosby Stills and Nash. But so we do the, we do the benefit for. you. It's the big hurrah at the Gramercy Theater sold out. Soder, Sam, Louis, myself, the Butler, Sarah got on. Karen. Yeah, Sarah managed a regular way on to my show. Woo. I just totally forgot to Booker. It was a little rough. Yeah, but she made it. But she got on there.

She got on. And boy, it was a great show. That felt lovey. That was like everybody was there for you. I did a big gay thing at the end about you. You did? Yeah. Did anyone film it? Not Salikers. No, no. You got a Still. I didn't watch the show because the hang was so good. The hang was good. I missed the whole show. And Karen was like, I did 10 minutes on you. It was hilarious.

It killed. And I was like, ah, I was upstairs. Yeah, yeah, we had a good time. Everybody killed. I got to watch Louis set. That was fun. But yeah, that was a great night. Then I did Stick or Treat after.

So it was a big long night for me. You know, 40 comics, doing costumes, doing characters. A little weird. Two days later. they do a Sebastian Manuscalco on SNL. Huh. I just felt weird. Like we had eight guys doing Sebastian as an impression.

And then on SNL you're like, oh, they're doing a Sebastian. Yeah. Just weird quinky dink, weird timing. By the way, I bailed in the show and I was feeling bad. But then I walked, so I was like, oh, I'll do Brian Vegan. Yes. I've been talking with this for 10 years. That'll be funny.

I don't eat meat. I've been promoting it for weeks. And, no, I wasn't tagged on a single thing. No, just weren't about. Okay, well, but then what happens is you got all this stuff going on in the movie. We're in pre-production. We have the band of the year, the baby, the business.

And then I realized it's time for the show. I'm like, I don't have anything. I don't have a costume. I have a beard. I don't have a jacket. I don't have another joke other than I don't eat meat. Well, we talked on the phone. We wrote like four jokes.

You had a couple. I forgot. I didn't write them down. I ain't either. But then I was so relieved because I was like, I'm sorry, I can't do it. I'm getting over COVID. I got to go to bed.

We're leaving in the morning. and I felt bad about it. Then we're in the green room in our show. I walk out, everybody's in costumes, makeup, bald caps. I'm like, I would have looked like a complete fucking moron. Oh, I see. Because I would have came out as Brian Vegan with glasses and a gray hoodie, not just like him, not looking like him, just going, oh, meat.

And these guys, these people do it. Oh, my God. We had an Amy Schumer with the heels and the wig. We had Aziz and a full gray suit. juzzle neck. I mean, it was crazy. Everybody was there. It looked awesome and beautiful. And I tip my cat. It would have been a disservice to the show

if I had done this horseshit because everybody was dressed to the nines. Nines, Jerry. One of the highlights was Bat Williams and Robin Williams. Get it? No. You said Batman. Sorry, it was Cat Will.

Wait. Bat Williams? Catman. Williams, wait, Cat Williams, Bat Williams, and Robin Williams. Okay. So Batman and Robin. But at both, one is Cat Williams and one is Robin Williams, and they did it together

in full Batman and Robin outfit. And who were the people? I don't know. Two random guys. They were dressed up. Yeah. And they killed it as Cat Williams and Robin Williams is going at it and, uh, oh, ho. Man, shut the fuck, and whatever. And it was gold.

Like Batman, Robbins. any jokes. Yes, yes, exactly. You got the Batmobile? Oh, we don't need a Batmobile, right? You know, whatever. See, that would have been, it was gold. Such a massive disrespect, disservice to the show. If I had then followed that with like, ah, mate. But that could have been fun too. You play off that.

Yeah, maybe. But that sounds amazing. Is there a tape? Does this go out anywhere? Salekuse didn't get it. But, no, I don't know where. I think we, yeah, we definitely filmed it. So it'll put on YouTube. I would like to see that. The only problem is a lot of people will go hard. There's a lot of comedian scandals out there, so a guy will go up and do a you know who and then be like, and then I jerked off.

And you're like, well, we probably can't put that out. No, especially because he was there like an hour before. Yeah. But it was hilarious to have a guy at a theater have a show in 20 minutes and be like, I got to go. That's got to be a first. Right.

That might be a record. you're there the show starts and you're like I can't do it but it wasn't like you know they're there to see me and doing the sex

and I canceled earlier it was a few hours earlier yeah you were billed but there was no bill no billed you real quick I mean I'm gonna just break the fourth wall I asked you and you were like

no no no it's no problem we don't care I'm gonna shit there's 50 comics on it was no problem at all my parents went to your mother's museum how do you like that oh that's nice

That's how you deflect off of something. Well, done. Nice deflect. What'd they think? They didn't care for it. Well, I think they loved it, but it was hard because they didn't get a discount at all, which is strange. Oh, really? Yeah, no.

I thought maybe he might throw us a bone there. But the baby, the problem is the babies, too. So he wants to drink everything, eat everything. It was a nightmare. Because it's all filled with cans and soup and everything. So he was going out and kicking everything over and grabbing everything. That makes sense. Smelled your mother's pussy, which was rude.

Well, what's the... What's a ticket go for? I thought it was like $4. I have no idea. I can't do that much. No, it's a warehouse with a bunch of cans in it. It's like a goia factory. But they loved it.

I mean, Sarah literally thought it was a nightmare because the baby was just like food. And he was like hitting everything. But my parents were like, it was great. We learned a lot. It was beautiful. Yeah, yeah. They loved it. Oh, that's nice to hear.

I'll tell my mom. She's barely affiliated. They pushed her out. That's fair. It's a whole thing. It's like Watergate. over there. But yeah, so that was cool.

Then, how about this? You know me? I can't say no. I got a couple, the night after Stigertree, Stigertree was a huge hit. We had a great time. Night after, I go, oh, boy, I got four sets. And Salacuse is shooting me for this,

I'm doing an intro for my special, and I got an idea. And he's going to shoot me at all these shows. We're going to do a montage of me and all these rooms walking up. Love it. Boom, boom, boom, boom from different spots. And so he's got to get me walking up in all these places.

One of the shows, I show up, it's at a sauna. It's at a spa. And I was like, what the hell? But it's New York Comedy Fest. So they're doing all these weirdo shows. So I get there, it's called Other Ship. Not to be confused with. Oh, like Mothership.

Yeah, it's called Other Ship, which is a spa. It's hip. It's not like fat Greek guys. It's like sexy people. And it's a club. And you sign up, and I get in there. I show up, but, you know, I got five sets. I'm running around.

I go, hey, I'm here for the comedy show. They're like, oh, you got to fill out this waiver. And where's your bathing suit? And I go, I don't have a bathing suit. And they go, well, you can't go in. And then the host comes out. He goes, we need him. He's on the show.

So they're like, all right. Well, just wear your boxers and put a towel on. I was like, okay, no problem. I get back there. Shangri-la. I mean, it's just ice baths and showers and cobblestones and saunas and everywhere in steam rooms and girls and bikinis. So I'm like, oh my God, what the hell is this?

I didn't even put this together. This was the show. How many people were we talking? Probably like 60 people. 60 people in a sauna? Yeah, it's a big sauna. It's like a fuck club. Wow.

Yeah, so I'm like, I'm going to do a set in there. Yeah, it's called the hot show. Sounds like a hot crowd. They were. So I go in. He brings me up. I got to wear the Matt Rife thing. Matt Rife thing.

Yeah, there's no mic. So you got to wear it. Oh, the little headset thing. Yeah, but we're a little headset thing. Yeah, but we're a lot. towels, Jerry. Wow. Yeah, so he brings me up. I walk in. It's a huge sauna with all these women and bikinis and I'm like, oh my God, this is crazy. The guys are ripped. All the girls are hot. And I'm in a towel and, you know, nothing else. And I just do my act. And it went great because

I figure if you come out to a show in a sauna, you're going to laugh. Yeah, sure. It's a weird situation. I imagine you could do a lot of room stuff too. Oh, tons of room stuff. I I opened with a joke bomb that I go, I feel like I'm in hell. This is what hell is looked like. You know, it's just hot and there's no gays. Or I mean, it's all gays. And we had some good times. But yeah, it was crazy.

And you think about flop sweat. Boy, talk about a sauna. You're just like, well, that didn't work. And, boy, it was crazy. And then here's New York. You get out of there. Oh, wait, one last thing. So Salke's just shooting me.

So I'm like, all right, well, we got to get him. too because he's the camera guy. And they're like, he can't come in. Look at him. You know, he's bald. He's 4 foot 4. And I was like, I need him to shoot me. They're like, he can't come in. And he was like, I can't come in? And I was like, okay, so I'm texting him at the locker. I'm like, could you get in? He's like, no, no chance. I'm waiting outside for you. I said, all right, I'll do a quick set and run back out. I walk on to the, I grab the door to open up the sauna. I turn around. He goes, I got in. So Salaki's just shirtless, barefoot, in a bathing suit. And I go, how the hell did you do that?

He goes, eh, I finagled. He said, I was born here. That's incredible. He finagled. I turned around as a shirtless salacuous, and now he's on the sauna floor, like, shooting me. That guy can get himself in anywhere except for a woman's vagina. But him shirtless, I just can't imagine. What are we talking?

I got to tell you, I gave it a good updown, and it wasn't bad. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, it's not, it's a dad bod. But he's carrying a camera a lot. He's doing stuff. Yeah, that's true. That's true. He's just walking around New York.

But he was under me to my sauna set, so he got a real upskirt. Wow. But, wow, hot show, then you leave there. You throw your clothes on, you go to the cellar. That's crazy. It was great. Five sets and one was in a sauna. And it was part of the festival?

Yeah. Wow, that's a nice one to put a feather in your cap or a thumbtack in your map, whatever. Because I always think, not so much now, but when I was young, I wanted to compile the craziest most diverse list of comedy women. Oh, interesting. I did comedy in a gym, like a Gold's gym. I did The Naked Show. Of course, firehouses. And then you're like, well, in Israel or whatever, Turkey.

Right, right. But to have a sauna, that's really, that's a, like, it's like when you want to like guys that don't want to fuck every kind of woman. It's like getting like a bulimic, legless Asian boy or something. Right, right. That's a rare. I mean, you're not going to bump into a lot of comedians that are like, oh, yeah, I've done sauna. Yeah, that's true. Big sauna guy.

Yeah. I mean, how many comics have done a show in Asana? That's a good question. Might be you. Well, there's a whole lineup, but yeah. And there's guys like, I do this show everywhere. Oh. Yeah, yeah.

All right, well, still crazy. Still crazy. Still crazy. Still crazy. He's like, I've been doing it in Canada for years. I'm bringing it to the fest. Whatever. All right.

Well, still cool. Very cool. Very crazy. And thank God it went well. Like, geez, can you imagine how much that would suck? Yeah. Just pouring sweat. But yeah, we got the whole shoot.

I'll send you some photos, Chexter. and we'll throw them on there. And yeah, then ran out of there, did the cellar, and then flew to Niagara. Watch your language. I know. Niagara, please. Is that Canada or New York? That's Canada.

They both have it. Right. But I was on the Canadian side, which is crazy, but it's much better. Right. You know, the Buffalo side is a little dicey. It sure is. I always say the falls are less scary than the neighborhood.

Right. Because it's just wild over there. I love the Canadian side. I mean, I like the New York side, too, but not nearly as nice. Sure. Those falls are special. They really are. What's crazy in, like, the 50s or 40s, that was like the honeymoon place.

Yes, yes. I just watched a Marilyn Monroe movie that I forget. I think it was just called Niagara. I talked about it on the Turner Classic Movies Cruise, and it was just like everyone's honeymooning. That was like the thing. Yes. If you made a movie about two people honeymooning, they were in Niagara.

They were in Niagara. I remember Bruce Almighty had a lot of it. a scene there. Yes. Yeah, yeah, it's I had a casino view. You know, you do a casino, they throw you a nice joint. I'm up there, and you've got a view of the falls, and I just had a cup of car. I just stared at it for like 20 minutes. I think I might

have done that same casino with Artie Lang and Nick DePaolo. Way! Back in the day, because I remember being in the hotel, in Niagara, looking at the falls from a hotel, and it was a casino. Yeah, you feel. Well, yeah. Did you partake? I mean, I probably

gamble. I mean, I wasn't drinking or drugging Oh, maybe I was, actually. Yeah, come on, Artie Lang. This must have been decades ago. Yeah, maybe it was. It was a long time. The other thing I remember from the gig was Nick and I were fighting and then Ardy busted out the jaws line.

You're not going to do this in the boat, are you? It was fun. It broke the tension. That's like my main, not that it's a great story, but that's my main memory of the gig. How was Artie? Did you get to hang with him or is he just being a weirdo? I hung with Hardy a bit. I was from a Caroline's one time.

He gave me a bunch of extra cash, which was beautiful. He was like, this gig should pay at least $1,000. He was like, what are you getting paid? I was like, I don't know, 100 bucks a set. And he's like, this should be at least $1,000. And he paid whatever the difference was. How about that? The crazy thing about Ardy Lang is, you know, he's been obviously a very well-documented addict.

He remembers everything. Wow. I worked with Arty a couple times and, like, years would pass. They'd be like, hey, Joe, how's Boston? You've gone to Boston? How the Patriots, like, he remembers every conversation we had. He's got an unbelievable, like, photographic memory despite years. Years and years of heroin addiction.

Might be part of the problem, though, because I think you remember is the bad stuff. Maybe, yeah. So now you've got to throw some pills on that to shut it down. I haven't seen him a long time, but a great guy and one of the funniest ever. I don't know if this is appropriate, but I open for him once at Levity Live. And I go into the green room to meet him. I'm all excited. He's not in there.

I was like, huh, what the hell is this about? I see the bathroom door. It opens. A nice-looking blonde lady walks out going, ah! And I see him going, what's this fucking show start? He's like, butting his pants. I was like, I fucking love show business. That is fun.

Oh, yeah. I've never been in that part of show business. I married her. Hey, Shopify. Chiching, starting a new business can be hard. Shopify has your back with all the tools you need. Shopify can match your brand style with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools.

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their exclusive Black Friday sale now through December 7th. Just head to chubbies shorts.com. Make sure to support the show and tell them Tuesdays with stories sent you. Hell yeah. Now let me ask you this. Side note, because I was talking about this at the festival. We didn't say Mount Rushmo, but who's your Mount Rushmo? but who's your Mount Rushmore of third mic, off-the-cuff, quip, podcast radio?

Ooh, we. Interesting. You got to put Norton on there. I'd put Norton on there. I'd put a tell. I mean, I don't know if you could fuck with a tell on sniping. But I guess I haven't listened to him that many podcaster radio shows. I mean, him on Kill Tony is pretty special. And I'll throw another wrench at you.

And maybe it's not allowed because he's a foreigner, but Jimmy Carr. Jimmy Carr's amazing. Pretty fucking quick. I think Norton's number one. Arty's got to be up there. Artie's incredible. I mean, he got that stern chair. That's not easy to get.

It's a good point. And I got to tell you, I know people have different opinions about him, but Tony Hitchcliff is pretty unfucking believable. He is perfect to host that show. He is, he blows your mind how fast he is. Yeah, good wordplay. But anyway, I got boogers on the rim of my nose. I apologize.

I'm not coked up. stuff touching it. Rim job. But anyways, sorry. So did Niagara, casino, I got to tell you. It's the same one with the tears. It's got tears for fears, balconies for days. I don't know.

I don't remember. It was a long time ago. I go out there. I'm like, ah, what is this going to be a thousand-seater? I never read any emails. I get to the gig. I meet my opener. Hey, how you doing?

We have a steak. And he opens a show. He does great. This guy Rick Matthews. Oh, I know Rick Matthews. Buffalo guy. He featured for me when I recorded my CD. Oh.

My, whatever you call it. Fucking, are you mad at me? Yeah, way back in the day. Great guy. Great guy. Great egg. Good act. Funny.

Good hang. And he was like, they're unbelievable. You know, I look over. I'm walking out to the crowd. I never look to the stage. You walk out. It's just huge room. It's insane.

It's like 5,000 people. Jesus. And I was like, oh! And I'm like, oh, what's up with the falls? I'm panicking. I'm freaking out. and then you've got to just calm yourself and dive in. But that was incredible.

And then I go back to the green room, and Rick's like, I've heard all the stories. What are we doing? Boozing, hooker, gambling, blow. Talk to me, baby. And I go, got the 5 a.m. pickup, going to Skank Fest. I got to save it. All right.

And he was like, are you kidding me? We're at the casino. This is it, baby. We crossed the border for this. Right. And I'm like, I got to, I got to go to Skagfest. I got a 5 a.m. pickup. I can't do it.

And he was furious and I went to bed. I had that when I opened for a hotel 25 years ago. You know, I showed him the Yeager bottle. I'm like, here we go. And then he wasn't, he was like, I got some friends here. Yeah. And you're just disappointed. But the next night, we went out drinking.

There you go. But yeah, that was a doozy. 5 a.m. pickup. You go over the border in the car. And then you get on the flight. And then you got to connect in Chicago. Then you landed in New Orleans, and there's big old Salacus's mug right when I get off the escalator. Did you get some good stuff?

Because I never talked to him because we wanted you, because we gave the interview here. You were the first second of footage we shot for this documentary. Wow, I'm honored. You talked about the feeling of dipping your toes in, you dive in, you're in this thing. And so on bouncing off of that, I was like, let's get Mark arriving. Anything happened? We got coffee at the baggage claim. He didn't shoot anything.

We just hung out. Oh, God. He didn't shoot you? No, he just got to a car. Wait, he came? I thought he was just picking me up. He came to the airport and didn't shoot any material? No, he was just, it was like a welcome wagon.

You're joking. I'm fucking around. But, yeah, yeah, he got some stuff. What's crazy is, of all the cameramen I had, it would make the most sense if Salke's was like, I didn't know we were rolling on that. Yeah, yeah. It's my buddy. It was a lot of that. But we rode in

Did you say funny things? Yeah, we got a lot of good stuff, a lot of car footage, and I was like, I was Wonky, too, because, you know, it was a lot of travel, and so all that was in there. We love Wonky. Willie Wonky. I feel like I barely saw you at the festival.

Well, we did the podcast. That was fucking crazy. That podcast was lights out. I mean, it might have fizzled for a second at the end, but boy, was that, I think that was one of our best. It fizzled a little bit, but you got to remember at Skankfest. This is the problem. Like, we start late.

the show goes long, and there's a Legion of Skanks with Shane Gillis on it or whatever at 10 p.m. So no matter what you're doing, at 9.45, everyone's like, we got to go get in line. Of course.

But in your mind, you're like, the room is fucking emptying. We suck. Yeah. But it's just people being like, we got to go catch Shane and Lewis are doing a 69 contest at the big room. Also, I saw, I did some other pods,

and they weren't up to stuff. Whereas was lunch, lights out. These were, you know, they were good. Well, we had Greg Fitzsimmons on mushrooms. Yes. Joe Rosa on the most alcohol I've ever seen anyone consume. Yeah, he's on Transcom. And then Brad Williams was this tiny.

He's a joke bag. He's great. You can't miss with this little nugget. Yeah. So it was crazy. And we prefaced that all the fans hate the live. Yep. And you may hate this one, but.

You're wrong. It was awesome. And the audience is miced, right? They can hear the audience. Yeah. Come on. Oh, boy. You don't seem positive.

Well, it was the skankfest crew that did everything. Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, sort of. Their sort of thing. My brain was mushed up. People were saying, this is like an example of how fucked up my brain was. But, you know, you're just not sleeping.

So then Sunday night, I was, our producer, Torrance, who's awesome. Shout out Torrance. She's amazing. I wanted to manage my comedy career. I said, I was like, tomorrow will be great. You should come over the house. We'll celebrate. You can meet my family.

And she's like, what do you mean? I was like, you can meet my son, Marty. And she's like, we flew here on the same flight together. We had three meals together. Wow. I just, I like blocked out. Jesus Christ. Like Sarah, Marty, me, Torrance, and Patrick, my producer in DP.

We all flew together, stayed in the house together, had multiple meals together, went to Walmart together. But the festival is so insane. You sleep so little. You see so many people. You do so much stuff. I was like, you got to meet my son. It was like I was hammered. Yeah.

Now, imagine doing all that with booze. I kept talking about this. I cannot imagine how Lewis and Kim and all these people, like, they're doing ass. I mean, you're drinking, but like, these people are on, what's the fucking ketamine? Everyone's on ketamine. Acid. Right. Acid.

I hope I'm not. I mean, I think she was saying this all publicly. I think it's all fine. And we documented it. She's going to be all over that film. You talk about playing your way onto a team. I was like, oh, we should get Kim Cogden. She really embraces Skangfest.

By the end, I'm like, she's going to have more screen time than Lewis. It's Kim Oxycontenden. Folks, she goes, we did, I did her show Saturday morning, Friday morning. First thing I did at Skankfuss was her dating show where everyone took mushrooms. Oh, boy. So it's like 11.30 a.m. She's taking mushrooms. And then at 8 p.m., she's like, I just took acid. I'm like, so you're on mushrooms and acid the same day, all day?

Wow. What a fuck. I love this. He's a beast. We had another funny moment. We're outside. I'm a fucking middle-aged white guy, retard. We're outside, and I'm like, uh, what, uh, so what goes on? everyone takes acid? What time do they take acid? She's like, that one's taking acid. And I'm like, I don't understand. You said the whole show, everyone's taking acid. That's the point. And she's like, no, why would people take acid? We don't take acid. I'm like, I don't understand. It was like having Costello.

I'm like, I don't understand what you're talking about. Yeah. You literally, I have the text. You take acid. You do the show. And she's like, we're not taking acid. There's literally a Louisiana state trooper standing here. Oh, my God. And I was like, ah! Oh. I said, I said, it's good to see you, young lady.

Acid vicious. So that was embarrassing. And she was so cool, just being like, no, there's no acid. What are he crazy? Why would we do acid? That's illegal. Well, you got to be cool if you're doing acid by a cop. But, yeah, I mean, the people that were doing that, it's unbelievable because I was just mush.

And I had this Monday night, Tom, Dustin and Kristen, his wife or fiance, they were in town. Yes. So they came over for dinner. It's like 10 p.m. I'm exhausted. I'm like, all right, you guys are going to get out of here. I'm tired. And then they start getting up.

And like five minutes later, we're saying goodbye. And I'm like, you guys getting out of here? And he's like, you literally just kicked us out. And I was like, oh, that's my bad. You're brain dead. But also, I will say, in that space, that world, it feels like acid is legal. You know, you're in there. You're like, everything's legal here.

I can fuck a donkey and a kid. I mean, it was nuts. I've never seen so many tits in my life. I know, and that was just Chuck. And then another thing Kim Cognan did, when she sang killing in the name of, she brought four women out. Yes. They all took their tits out.

They all took their tits out. That's eight tits. There was just eight tits. And then that night there was two women in the front row that watched the whole show with their tits out. So we had 12 tits. Thank God for the cameras. Exposed.

And I got a seven-man crew out there. I was behind them shooting their behind. Oakland Expos. But I don't even know where it's. I got to tell you, one of the great moments of my whole life. and I hope somebody on the crew shot it. Oh, God. Was when Sunday night, we did the comedy, Saturday's comedy jam was amazing.

Sunday night, though, it's so beautiful. Because everybody knows, and everyone kept telling, none of my crew had ever been to Skank Fest before. Oh, wow, everyone's tipping everyone off. Like, you want to be there for this. You want to make sure you catch this. So then everyone said all week, like, the thing you got to make sure you get is Sunday's comedy jam.

Because that's what people start getting emotional. The crew realizes, the comics realize it's all ending. There's music which makes everyone emotional. There's acid, there's mushrooms, there's ketamine, there's whatever, Xanax. Naked roast. Booes. So it's like everyone starts to get emotional. And there was these big curtains on the side of the stage to hide the performers.

And all the comics were piled in. We were behind the stage just lined up. Every inch is taken. It's like when, you know, like a TV show ends. And the Conan's got his whole crew out there. Right. And then at one point, we're rocking. you're back there, everyone's back there,

and then Christine came and started pulling up the curtains to reveal all the comics over there, so everyone can enjoy it. What a moment! It was so beautiful and I went and grabbed Cannon, and I was like, you got a crowd surf. He's like, I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm on shrooms. I've never crowd surf. I'm like, get up here, you faggot. Throw him out there. I went and got you, I'm like,

you got a crowd surf. You pulled me back in when I was struggling. Well, that's the thing is half these, this is what's good about being 75 years old and sober. Right. Because I'm like trying to bounce and catch people. Nobody gives a fuck. Everyone's like, Chuck got kicked in the back of the skull.

Really? I wish he died. I mean, it was crazy. And one guy, I have a slow motion video of a guy doing a front flip. No warning. He just runs and does a full front flip into the mosh pit. He kicks like three people in the face. Oh, wow.

And so I was trying to catch as many people as possible because people don't realize when you crowd surf, it's like, you're getting launched back. on stage. Right. And you're like this. So there's no, you've got to get caught. And I also, every time I stage dope was like, you get over here, bring this guy in, you got to get out of here.

Whoa. At one point, Kim jumped and literally nobody touched her. And it was just a straight. Kim, John. Kim jumped, dude. That's good. Oh, man. I mean, we got footage of it.

It's just a straight up, like, boom. Oh, my God. What a time. And, yeah, when we were all on stage, Tim Dillon jumping up and down and me, you, and Adam Myers, and we're just going at it, and the music is hitting, the crowd's bouncing. You know, when you see that bounce in the crowd, it's all in unison? Yeah. Incredible crowd surfing.

I was half in the bag, and you can just feel it's all winding up. And you know when you get that, when you're jogging and you got a little bit to go, but you're so tired, but then you get that like, ah, I'm going to make it till the end. The second wind. The second win, that whole fucking band brought a second win back because everyone's crashing, drugs, hangovers. But that was it, and that it was all done. That was awesome.

And I got reprimanded Saturday night. So you missed Saturday. Where were you Saturday night? Where was I Saturday night? Oh, I don't know. Our P.As took you somewhere. I don't know where. I think I went to a bar in the quarter.

Yes, you went to the quarter somewhere. I know that because Matt was like, take our car. And we were like, we don't have a car. Mark Norman's in it. But that's not your fault. That's Matt's fault. I didn't know. But we love you, Mattie.

He let his camera to somebody at one point. I don't know. No way. No. Oh, okay. I'm kidding, of course. But so Saturday night, I don't know if you heard about the whole cruffle. It was crazy.

No. So the comedy jam went long. It went late. Oh, yeah, the curfew. It was like 2 o'clock in the morning. We're all on stage singing, you know, four non-blondes, what's up? Is that the name of that song? I think it's what's up.

that's it hey which they close every festival with so we're singing that and then we did smells like teen spirit which everyone went fucking ape shit it was nuts it was crazy mash pit crowd surf screaming jumping and then it's like 205

so we're over the limit they start throwing everyone out and you know chants are a big thing so I thought it would be funny I grabbed the mic and I go Bohemia in Rhapsody Bohemia and everyone starts chanting and Christine was like Shut the fuck up and came running she's like

like, get the fuck out of here. And then the union guy literally grabbed the mic, like put his hand on my shoulder and ripped it out of my hands. And I felt terrible. I went in the green room and I was, I hit. I was like, I'm such a piece of shit. I'm sorry. But the next day, Christine was better and was like, it's fine.

And she's like, and then Colum got on the mic after you. It's kind of like when you run a red light and someone runs it behind you. Because Colum got on the mic and he started yelling. Oh, no. And then she revealed, she's like, I wasn't even mad. She's like, I just wanted to make sure they didn't start playing it because we would have been kicked out. Right, right. But they kicked over it.

The police showed up. It was very punk rock. I mean, the cops were there being like, get the fuck out of here. So everyone had to scoop everything. And one of the coolest parts of footage we got was packed house, Mosh pit crowd surfing.

Christine comes out and is like, everyone, get the fuck out. And it just clears. It's like, everybody just took off. Well, everyone's got drugs. They don't want to get popped. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's crazy.

It's like an apocalypse movie. Everyone just emptied out. Holy hell. Hey, folks. Two stories brought you by ORA. I got one right there. Look at that frame on the ground there. See?

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Order yours now to get in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning Tuesdays with Stories at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Happy holidays. I got to give a shout out to Tim Butlerly, who said two of the funniest, that did two of the funniest things I've ever seen. Did you go to the fights at all? I did, yeah.

It was crazy. I mean. Crazy. Women ass slapping. and then I saw Jason Ellis whooping up on Laser. Uncle Laser. God bless that guy. I mean, the balls it took to it.

And you can see his balls because he's wearing panties in the fight. And then who else fought? Oh, Jamar jumped in with some other black guy. I mean, it was Mayhem. It was Naim and Jamar. I said it looks like that Spider-Man meme. I was pretty proud of that one. Yeah, that killed.

It was crazy. The Battle Royals, so if you're not familiar with Skank Fest or Skang fights, they literally did Royal Rumble rules to start with two guys, Drew Montana. and Paco. And Drew Montana went the distance. God bless him. Yeah, I saw him climbing the ropes to get out at one point. Well, so what happened was Jamar Neighbors, who's a professional boxer.

Yeah, he's a big, rip, black guy. And one of the strongest people I've ever seen with the largest dick I've ever seen ever. Huge. And his dick's got a bohawk. Yeah, so it was down to him, Drew, and this guy, Seth, from Palmer Squares, who are awesome. They're the hip-hop group. They're fucking cool as shit. They rule. And Jamar just.

fucking caught the guy Seth with like a left hook like it's on video it's one of the craziest punches I've ever seen yeah he fucking caves him in is like knees cave inwardly oh boy and then he like popped up and was like shout like he was like all right here we go we're still right he was out of his fucking mind and drew montana was the last one with jama he literally just took a knee

stood up and took a knee a second time to make sure like that's a rap yeah i'm capperick so jama won the thing but drew went the whole distance he was in there the whole time. He was fun as hell. But the craziest thing was the jujitsu stingray, stun, what is it? Stingray? Stung gun.

Stung gun. Stungun. Stungun Jiu-Jitsu. You catch any of that? No. Oh, boy. It was fucking bananas. Oh, boy. They have a literal stun gun. Like a stun gun in the center of the ring. Don't daze me, bro. And two gays in jeans. Literally, they're just wearing jeans. They're in the corner. And it goes, ding, ding, ding. And you've got to

run to the stun gun. It's jujitsu, but with the stun gun. Oh, that's brilliant. So you've got to make them tap, and it was nuts. One guy, we interviewed... Is it a taser? A literal... Okay. Taser. Yeah. Like, it's fucking... It looks like a TV remote, but it fucking has little metal prongs on it.

It's crazy. At one point, Chris Faga just randomly was hammered and just stunned Paco while he was putting his boxing gloves on. That's gold. It's like jackass. Pago's like, what the fuck? Yeah. I was like, that was crazy. And I'm sitting next to Fagg, I'm like, Can somebody please take this, but I think he respects me and doesn't respect Baco. It's got that noise, you that...

Yeah, yeah, it's fucked up. It scares the shit out of you. So the first night, Kevin's something. He's going to be in the movie. He looked like me with long hair, but skinnier. Ugh. He went... Yeah, he was a specimen, but he ran.

He had an interesting, what do you call it, an approach. He didn't even go for the gun. The other guy gets the gun, and this guy just jumped on his back, chokes him out, and it's not a... sanctioned fight, so nobody's doing anything. There's no whistle. He literally choked him to death. The guy was like, oh, like, fucking... Wow, he got stunned.

Yes. He did an Amish. I mean, he literally had the stun gun, or whatever you call it, taser in his hand, and was fucking, like, on the ring floor. He didn't try to kind of, you know, hit the face, hit the arm. No, no, he hit him a couple times. Oh, he did. Yeah, and the kid was so jacked up. He's literally wearing jeans and high top sneakers. Oh, that's scary. Took his back, choked him out. His arm is all fucked up, because he got stunned.

The guy was like, br-d-br-br-br-br-br-d-p-d-------------------------------. Wow, that's incredible. I mean, he's literally dead on the fucking ring for, like, ah, 20 seconds. Is this going on YouTube? Is this Patreon? I got to see the stun gun joke.

It's nuts. So that was on Friday. Jesus. I watched it Saturday. He was the first guy I saw. We got a great interview with him. And he was a sweet boy. And he was like,

I was like, how did you do so well? He's like, well, I did jujitsu in high school. and then I also am a fucking lunatic white trash piece of shit so I bought a taser and I used to just tase myself for fun. Oh my God, he's built for this fest. He's literally, he's like So I know it's like to be tased and I know how

to roll. So I was like, you're unbeatable. You're unbeatable. So Sunday with the finals of the stun gun, whatever the fuck it's called, stun gun jiuitsu. Yeah. It was him and this other guy. Dude, they rolled for like seven minutes. It's the best M.MA fight of

ever seen. I mean, you were there. Seven of minutes is an eternity. The rounds in professional are five. Yeah. They just went and I mean like, one was in an arm bar and he fucking got out. He got his back. Then he took his back. Then he fucking got him. And then it was a guillotine. They almost got

there. They almost got that. And then every once in a while they would get the gun. They both got stunned a bunch. Wow. At one point, they kept pushing it away being like, fuck it. We'll just roll. Finally, after like a long time, and the crowd is going crazy. It's so compelling. It's literally like, cinematic. I see Chucks over there, Lexes over the...

We got it covered from all angles. So the guy, finally takes the taser. He's tired of being tased, and he just throws it across the rig. So it's like 30 feet away. They're rolling. Tim Butterley, who is fucking hilarious. He's standing there. He's wearing, like, what do you call those skateboarding? He's wearing like vans and shorts. And he's sitting there, and he looks over, and he just goes and kicks it right back to the guy. Like the guy finally gets advantage. He's on top. He's got, you know, mount.

and then Butterly just kicks the taser. And I go, but only just went full Mr. Fuji. He sends the camera, I'm like, that is fucking crazy. It was so fucking funny, just casually with a smile, kicks it back in the ring, which is insane. I'm like, this is totally insane. This is wild. Lewis comes out.

There's a ring girl with triple D tits. Lewis just starts fucking speedbagging her tits with a big joint hanging out, and a cowboy hat. She's smiling. She's loving it. She loved it. Butterly had another great line. It was hot.

So I was a hydrant. I drank like seven Tony Hinchcliffe waters. Oh, yeah. It's just got a water. And it went for like three hours. I was, I wanted to piss so bad. I was like,

I'm going to fucking shit my pants. I'm like, I got to leave. I got to piss so bad. And Tim goes, no, no, don't leave. Save it for the piss fights.

Piss fights. It had me rolling. It's a joke. Oh, okay. The idea that there's skankfest piss fights is so fucking funny. And it's believable. I'm like, oh, what time's that?

By the way, there's a view in the green room with the windows because it overlooks the Mississippi River in the bridge, I could see all these fights from there, so I'm just drinking, and I've got an aerial view. It was beautiful, Ariel Elias, it was crazy

because you'd be in the green room hanging out, and all of a sudden you'd just hear like, right. It was like, everybody lined up in the window. It was awesome. It was so fucking great. And that's just during the day. That's just like Lanyap, and then the shows and pods and the naked roast. By the way, there's rides there, there's a ferrette's wheel there. Some guy got a

handy on the Ferretel wheel. There was a gravitron. We had a bodegas. cat tent. We're just slinging whiskey all day. I mean, there's never a dull bone. Yeah, it was awesome. There was a guy making pizzas. He made pizzas with us. Yeah, we'll post that puppy.

He's an artist. It was magical. I think I might have written some stuff down. A lot of my stories can't really be told. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about this one? I think I told you this one. This sums up Skagfest also. So Karen's there. It's the naked roast is Friday. She's one of the judges.

Oh, fun. She's wearing a hot negligee dress thing. Jack's making a face that's too serious. Really? He's like this. Oh, yeah. Good for her. You should have to pay for that.

So she's like, well, I'll throw it to you since you're here. I'm on the side of the stage. And she comes out and she's like, where's Joe? I'm like, I'm over here. She throws me the dress because she's got one dress. Yeah. So somebody's, you've got to have it somewhere. She throws it.

She's a girl, so it goes over there. A woman just grabs it and goes, whoo! And walks away with it. Like it's a foul ball. I go, what the first? fuck are you doing? I had to chase it down. She's like, what? I got it. I got it. It's not a home run, you fucking idiot. This woman's naked. So that, that's me is like Skagfest. You're like, I caught something. It's mine. I'm like,

no, you fucking maniac. It was a lot of great. I did the RU Garbage podcast. We're cooking. We're riffing on the crowd. It's like a full crazy dais of people. And this girl stands up, this hot kind of 35-year-old girl who's like kind of hippie-dippy, stands up and she goes, I just want to say, this is great. You guys are so funny. I'm having a blast. I lost my boyfriend. He divorced me or whatever.

And we're like, who are you? And she's like, I'm on mushrooms. I've never taken them before. And I'm flipping out. And we're like, okay, you got to sit down, though. We're doing a show. And she was like, I'm the trashiest one. I'm garbage.

And we're like, we know you're a psycho. Sit down. and she wouldn't sit down. So Chris O'Connor, you know that guy? I love Chris O'Connor. Great guy. He's trashed. He's half of the bag.

And for some reason, this just triggered him. And he goes, man, you better sit the fuck down. Nobody gives a fuck about you. This is the problem with women. Please kill yourself. This is all on tape. And Foley's like, dude, chill out.

Somebody tased this guy. Hit him with a stun gun. And he's like, fuck you, bitch. This is why you got divorced. Nobody cares. Hot chicks think I can do whatever she wants, whatever they want.

she goes, why are you talking to me like that? And then sits back down. Oh, boy. It was crazy. And then she showed about our show. Tusha. Oh, I know Tusha. Tusha. Tisha. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. She can't speak. It's a reference to Whitney Houston, too shy, can't speak. And I kept doing it. It bombed everywhere up and down. It's terrible. Yeah, she came to the regs also. Oh, my God. She's popular. There was some other lady. How about this lady? She was a very beautiful but very large girl, a big beautiful woman, BBW, WCW, whatever. She's very large and very pretty. And then stood up and she was one of these women, too, that like she's far away. You can't hear it because it's the big room. You'll crateum ballroom. so you just see a woman be like this

finally I would stop the show was like what are you doing what are you saying yeah and she was like doing this thing that people do she's like I love you guys and someone for some reason she must have been in the spank fights or whatever they're called ass slap which I'm not into the ass slap because it's

boring it's very slow sure sure well we got tasers over here I don't care about you're asking slap so anyway she stood up and then her and Paco the regs producer they had an impromptu slap fight she gets on stage she's like yeah i got my boyfriend here he's never seen the show i'm trying to introduce him to the regs because i love all you guys he's never seen you and then he's

filled i look over he's filming like this and then she just gets in an ass slap fight with our producer i'm like this poor guy oh boy it's like oh i'll check out some of your interests yeah and we just have a little asian boy beating the shit out of her ass she's like standing up with her hand on her ankles ass in the air taco's slapping her he's slapping her bobby's like you look like a seal, your fat piece of shit. I'm just a guy filming. I cannot imagine they're still together. I mean, if you don't watch this doc now,

I don't know what you're thinking, I got to watch just to see this fucking stun gun. It's going to be insane. And how we're going to edit it to two hours. We can make four movies. I swear to God. You can make a movie a day. Well, you can do some punch-up, Patreon, BTS bullshit, too.

Yeah, I think it's going to do really well. We're going to have insane bonus. I mean, just you, me, Atel, and Fitzsimmons, that interview of us talking for 40 minutes. I forgot that happened. Holy shit. I think you were a little banged up at that one. Yeah, that was bad.

Dave's like, David Tell, I've never heard this in my life. He's like being earnest talking about Stanhope and his career and comedy and the future of comedy. He's not making any jokes. And then you're like, oh, fucking tits.

I'm like, shut the fuck up. I'm like, Dave's talking. But you're being hilarious. I thought we were goofing. It was very funny because Dave was like really interesting. I literally never heard an interview like this with Dave. And then every once in a while you're like, anal or something like this.

Yeah, well, keep it in it. Yeah, it'll be fun. But I literally was like, we could just release this as a pod or a fucking whatever special. I mean. Well, we're going to need a bonus. Yeah, you got that right. Oh, man, I'm embarrassed. But yeah, that was great.

It was fucking hilarious. You were being hilarious. Well, it was late in the night. I mean, that was, we would be drinking. it's noon. It was like 8.30. But if you started at noon, that is late in the night. I thought it was four.

Well, it was almost Salakus' his bedtime. He left 10 minutes later. Well, that's the thing about this fest. And fucking Lewis's cum-guzzling ass. You know, you go out hard all night on Friday. You know, you get two hours asleep. I wake up, and Christine's like,

we'll see you in 30. And I'm like, ha. She's like, you're on the noon episode of Skank Legion. And I'm like, noon. Why would you schedule anything at noon? Because noon never go, oh, noon, noon, but you go to bed at five. Right. So I had to have a real pep talk with myself.

I, like, forced myself to puke. I had to just get it together, and then I walked there for like 50 minutes because I couldn't get a ride. Well, that's what I was talking about earlier with everyone has different things. And I had that with the camera crew. First of all, our first meeting was on Zoom. It was at 11 a.m. Chuck showed up at 11.30 in bed. I'm like, all right, you're on the night shift.

Right. Salacuse is 75 years old. He wakes up with the sun. Yeah. He's a farmer. He was there at 8 a.m. And then at 6 p.m., he was like, I'm not going to make it. I'm sleepy.

Yeah. Whatever. I got a glimpse a Miko at the end of the fest. That was tough. Crack or Zach? Zach, hands on his knees, gut hanging, makeup running. He's got just a belly full of drug. He's big pharma.

Literally. And that was like a great, he had like an Indian headdress on, you know. and he's got a skirt and high heels and you're like, what is going on with this guy? But man, that was a real nice visual of like, all right, this fest is over. Well, Zach is, another one of those guys that encompasses Skank Fest.

He lives for Skank Fest. He is. And we got to film him talking to the naked roast comics before. He's totally dressed as Shrek. He's nude. Yeah. And he's just, he's so genuine and sincere. He, like, loves that show and the festival and Lewis so much.

It's really compelling. And he's, he's, personified Skagfest. But could I just say a sincere thing? I had this moment of watching regs on the top deck, whatever that second floor is. You guys are doing dirty dancing. You guys are doing zings. Soters on fire. Everybody's killing, funny, crowds loving it. And I had this moment of like, you know, we had all this movement of like, hey, comedy shouldn't be inappropriate. Don't go over the line. Hey, be nice. And I feel like comedy is almost like a biology where we can say this and that and she's got two dicks and he's a woman or whatever it is,

but it's going to come back to this. This is what comedy is. It's jokes. It's saying crazy shit. It's funny. It's zinging. It's ballbusting. It's mean sometimes.

This is it. And it's never going to change no matter how about you try to fuck with it. This is the show. This is it. We're not changing it. Yes. Oh, wow. That was right on cue.

That was perfect. That was skank hands. No, it was... You know what I mean? Of course I know what you mean. It's just... I get tongue-tied for words because... And it's also amazing because Lewis created this thing.

He had this idea. He posted the email being like, I want to do an annual festival called Skank Fest. And it's not just his favorite thing. It's my favorite week of the year. Wow. It's like, I look forward to it. I can't wait for it.

And, you know, I'm like walking around with a fucking cowboys. I forgot I had it on. It's like with a new me. I'm just wearing a leather jacket in the cowboy hat for four days straight. Yeah, lean in. And every, I love every single minute. I mean, I was ex- I took a nap in a closet, literally. I was like, I'll be back in 15 minutes. It was like a little closet. I was like, don't tell anyone I'm in here. Whoa. I was sitting in there because I was dead to the world. Also, bringing a two-year-old to Skank Fest is not the easiest thing to do. That's crazy. Or to the city, I should say. I didn't bring him to the festival, obviously. But it's just a tell is being. Being earnest, and everyone's complimenting each other. Tuesdays with stories is crazy. I'm on the table. There's a naked woman comes out and is pouring whiskey in people's mouths.

Stanhope is drunk, crowd surfing, Zachomico's naked, stapling his nuts, there's tits everywhere. Yeah, it's a feast for the senses. And I've got to say this, I've got to say, too, that you know what dude episode is not to be missed. It was the lineup was Greer Barnes, Bobby, Rich Voss DeRosa

Then I came in for about an hour Shane came in for about 40 minutes 40. Karen came in for like one minute We had to leave We were like ah we're wrapping up, sorry But it was me Oh it's Stanhope

It was me in order Left to right Me Shane Stanhope Greer Bobby Voss And De Rosa That's gonna be

I missed DeRosa Quite a thumbnail And De Rosa and Voss went at it It was fucking epic It was like a sporting event. Wow. They were just going back and forth with the zings.

And then Shane came in and just destroyed Rich. It was fucking... Oh, boy. I'll tune in for that. It was awesome. And the other thing I want to say, if you want to help the doc, if you took a photo with Lewitt... Now, everyone...

Nobody can follow instructions. It's hilarious. Maybe they're fucking with us. If you took a photo with Lewis J. Gomez, a selfie or just pose with him, please email it to Skankfest Doc at Gmail. Send it over there because I want to have every photo take it with them. It's got to be a thousand photos.

Yeah. Hoping to get them. So if you were there with Lewis, took a photo with Lewis, send it. We opened the email. Immediately it's like a photo of Dave Smith on stage. There's another photo of you, crowd surfing. I'm like, this is not what we want. Yeah. So you and Lewis, Skangfest Doc, at Gmail. Send it over there. I love it. We're going to do something special with that. Appetow did that.

He said, if you have a picture with Norm, send it to me. Oh. And I emailed him, Toot Suite. Yeah, I feel unoriginal. No, no. That's what Docs do. You get all the fucking shit you can get. Well, I think we're, yeah. I think he must have taken, because I was trying to think, I wish we kept track. I must have taken 600 photos over the course of four days. Sure. And it was beautiful. Everyone's so kind. It's just awesome. Last thing I'll say, then we can wrap this up. So I'm at the airport. I flew out Monday

with most of the fest. So the whole MSY, Louis-Armstrong, New Orleans Airport is just skank audience and comedians. That's awesome. It was crazy. So I'm in the lounge with Bobby. It's like, there's Feeney, there's Michael Fox, there's, uh, you know, uh, whoever that camera guy is I met and whatever. It's just full of comics and everyone is dead to the world. Everyone's hung over. Everyone's slumped.

Nobody wants to talk. And then we all get on the plane together. And it's like, oh, there's Mike Figgs walking on. You know, you just see everybody. And you're like, it's kind of awkward. I got to be on because you just go so hard. And now it's like, we're back in reality. Everyone has to be quiet.

You're at an airport. You're on a plane. We're in society. And I realized. that Epstein Island flight home must have been so brutal. Yeah. Could you imagine?

Like, hey, what's up, Hawking? How are you doing Bill Gates? Yeah, whatever. But it was such a harsh contradiction that flight home with all the comics. Yeah, I remember last year having this. It was like me, Bobby, Karen, Figgs, somebody else on there.

We had Patton and Donnelly on our, we had the Shons on our flight. See a Nick Mullen walk down to row 48. You're like, all right, well, we're back in society. I saw Mellon for 30. That's not so funny. Like, Ian Finance, I never saw a single time. Yeah, he was around.

He's posting photo. I saw him from a distance a few times. Donnelly, I barely talked to. Nick Mullen, I saw it for two minutes. It's just funny. There's so many comics and you're all these different worlds. Yeah. Like Foley and Kevin I saw like twice for three minutes.

Oh, yeah. But I don't know. Well, some people like soaked in New Orleans. You know, they're like, hey, I'll go, go, go. eat at this place, whatever. Yeah, see, I never do that. I go to Skank Fest. I'm there.

I go from noon to 2 a.m. I don't leave. Same. Especially this year with the movie. I was there all day, and my parents had no idea I was in town, and I wanted to keep it that way.

My parents were also in town, which is crazy. The whole thing is crazy. Wow. We got to wrap up. Send those photos, Skankfest Doc, at Gmail. Where am I going to be?

I don't know. When does this come out? Fucking 27. Two weeks from now, December 1. Oh, okay. I'm in Lexington, Kentucky this weekend.

And I got Vegas coming up. I got a bunch of dates. I'm so bad at promoting dates. I have no idea. Oh, maybe they're on my punch-up. Why don't I go to punch-up? I'll be at Minneapolis this weekend. That's at Pryor Lake Casino should be fun.

Doing the casinos all day long. I'll put it for Gillis on a bunch of dates. So that'll be fun. And then it's off to Kansas City. And Sorry. Oh, this is a great line at that podcast.

Shane made some joke about somebody, and then Vosco's, well, who's going to iron your shirts on the road? And then Shane hits him with, what are you doing this weekend? And that gets a big buck. And then Vosco's Stress Factory. Which is great. Oh, Atlantic City for me, January 31st.

Poughkeepsie, March 20th to 22nd. I don't know. I got other stuff. I'm also in Atlantic, I mean, a stress factory. I'll see you there, Voss. New Jersey I'm fried I know

we're like limbing to the finish during this check out a fortune of a comedian Tom Dustin portion of a comedian buy it for God's sakes because I need money after this fucking thing I owe everyone

$10,000 for this fucking Shane put in yeah put in for the skank fest doc Tim's given 15 grand Whoa and make sure you tweet him because he said it publicly

and we haven't gotten that money yet so please do that Yeah that's official I will say Tim Dillon, he did a song on the last night. Yeah, with an Afro wig. What did he do? Proud Mary.

Yeah, he's got a big black wig on. And I remember thinking, like, I'm going to keep an eye on this guy because he's a gay man. He's a homosexual proclivity, like our father. And he's doing a song, a Tina Turner song. And I go, I'm going to watch this guy gay it up. Because I've never seen him be gay. Right. He's a very verbose, just normal Long Island guy.

You never see him like, you know, Faye. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm going to sing a song in public. The gay is going to eke out. And nothing. He's in a hit. He's in basketball shorts. He's fucking around.

He's lumbering and fed and bopping and scatten. But no, not a hint of homo. I got a great video of him head banging. And I was, because I was on the stage with the little Osmo for so much fun. But yeah, he's giving money. God bless you, Tim. we appreciate that money. Please do that. Osmosis. Yes. Jack.

Yeah, I filmed him so directly for that because it's so not him. Yeah. I'm like, this footage is so special. I mean, it was awesome. Osmo four. Check out my podcast. Fun bearable. We have a lot of fun bearable. We have a lot of fun over there. We actually just posted an episode with Mark that we never put on the feed before. What the hell? That's like 20 years old. I know. But people are loving it. Oh, great. It's doing super well. So check out that episode. That pod was sitting on a Mark Norman.

episode. What happened? We did it on our old podcast where we didn't do videos. We didn't have a place to put it. So we reposted it. But check it out because people are really loving it. It's about the birth of Tuesdays and the Patreon and how we built the Patreon. And people are like, I love that you guys actually got into this.

It's so fun. What year was that? Just out of curiosity. 19? 2000, probably 2019 or 20. Wow. Crazy. Around COVID because that's when we started working together.

Crazy. Yeah, so good episode, though. People are really enjoying it. Go to funbearablepod.com. It's over there and check out our other episodes. We have a lot of fun. All right. Okay, well, there you go, folks.

Hey, we hit 100,000 YouTube followers. Is that right? Yeah, that's something. Hoot and holler. So, yeah, give us a like and comment, whatever you do. I don't know. I don't know what you do. Get on the page, keep it up, brace all up.

Good one.