Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #102 Kitchen Abs, The Silent Game And Cane Toads

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

Ash is back from what felt like a year-long trip to Bali! One surprising thing happened during the trip after Ash shared some photos online, leading Matt to call April to investigate.  Matt felt inspired by Ash and invited two other families up north for a quick getaway to Tropical Fruit World, leaving them horrified after doing something only a true Queenslander would do.  ANNOUNCEMENT:  To celebrate 100 episodes of Two Doting Dads by giving one lucky family a 3-night Stay at The Sundays Boutique Hotel on Hamilton Island! Includes breakfast, a $500 dining credit, and a yacht cruise to Whitehaven Beach – Worth $7,620! Must be nice! How to Enter: Post a video or photo of your toddler’s wildest chaos moment (think lipstick art or beanbag disasters!). Follow @TwoDotingDads, tag us, and use #hammoescape. Top 4 videos will be shortlisted and YOU vote for the winner! Good luck! Comp closes Nov 6th!  *Ts & Cs apply.  Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I've been given a very important task. Go on. This weekend, it's my sister's wedding. This will come out and she will be married, hopefully. Congratulations. Yes, to Betty and Rizey. I've been given a very special job. It is Ceremony DJ.

There's like four songs, but she's like, don't fuck it up. What's this song they're going to walk down the aisle to? I've just been sent it. So please give us a little taste. Groovy, baby. That's very groovy. This is walking back up your aisle. Ah, love that.

Kiss me. So are you mixing or are you just pressing play and stop? I'm going to do it all great. DJs do and press play and stop. I don't know how many DJs listen to this podcast, but to those who do. Get a real job. Welcome back to two doting dads. I'm Matty J and I'm Ash. And this is a podcast.

Do you hear that weird like breath I just did? This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad. And the relatable. And if you've come. Not yet. If you've come wanting any advice, I was gonna say, not from us, not from us.

Not today, not ever. Ashton, we should start this off by having a little cheeky beverage. A bevragino. Bevragino. What are we having? Where's that from? That's from TikTok. Remember in the days we were all locked down.

Ah bevragino. We should have a bevragino. And what do you got there big guy? I've got the Hinterland Big Pale Ale. It's knowing what Laura calls me. The big pale ale. From Stonemood. It is a limited release, man, but I have some good news for you.

Next year, it will become part of their permanent fixture. Their permanent range. Do you know who enjoyed this? Laura. Laura Byrne. Yeah. Quite a few of these. She text me after. When we recorded our episode last week, I had a few too many big pale ales.

I was very sweary on the episode. I listened to it back and every second word was like, fucking eating, fucking farting. Ash is not here, so I better make up for the swear tally. And I get a little bit slurry halfway through, so I'll limit myself to just one of these today. Well, cheers. I'll crack that. And cheers. Cheers, my friend. Cheers. Thank you.

Now. Oh, hang on a sec. Can you taste that mandarin? Taste the pineapple, pine and herbs. Yeah. Mandarin? I get a bit of mandarin in there. You do. You always pick up the mandarin. I do. You're like one of those pigs that sniffs out truffles, but instead of truffles, it's mandarin.

You- You- How many mandarins in this household right now? Have a guess. 16. Very good. It's actually not pineapple, Matt. It's pine. No, no, fuck you. Okay.

On the back of the can. Oh, there's the Vicks secret blend and there's the Eclipse. The Eclipse mint version. That makes you know the Eclipse mint version. And if you're wanting to get your hands on this beer or any delicious beer from Stone and Wood, head into Dan Murphy's or BWS around the country and jump on their website stoneandwood.com.au. That is all one word and get it delivered to your very front porch. I will be doing that because I'm lazy. And honestly, I don't like talking to people in shops.

So much other things dropped off from on the line. Just really, really quickly. We are going to go into a big announcement, but talking about not liking big groups of people. I went for a run, Ash, just really quickly. Went for a run around Centennial, because I was like, it's going to be late at night, nice and quiet. I didn't fucking realize there was like a fun run on.

There was thousands of people there. And then I wanted, all the exits were clogged up and it was a nightmare. Oh, the sexual predators would be like, yeah. Ash, we have a big announcement to make. We do. This is a little bit late. It is that I'm back.

Also, in addition to that, because I do, it is, hey, it's nice to have you here. Thank you. It's good to see your face. I've honestly forgotten what it's like in Australia. I've been away for so long. I'm annoyed that you haven't called me boss yet. I had to refrain, but my inner monologue was Indonesian for the first few days I was back.

Still is, or has now gone back to... It's slowly going. I keep going to say, suksumah to people, which is Balinese for thank you. Not the traditional Indonesian, which is terimakasih. The amount of times you would attack people like me for going, mercy. When they come back from Europe and then your number one... Did you live in Europe? Lived in London for four years.

Must be nice. But the big announcement Ash Ash, is the fact that we have cracked the triple figures. I know. We are a little bit late. You missed our anniversary. I did. I did.

In true classic form, I think we both missed our anniversary. Classic man missing an anniversary date. So I had to recall with Laura and pretend it was you, which was weird. That would have been awkward for the sex afterwards. It was very awkward. It was very awkward. It was very awkward. I'm not going to lie.

What's this vagina thing? Calling her Ash as I'm climaxing. Wow. Best 30 seconds of her life. Yeah. Hey, um, but we have come so far, you know, the two of us, you and me, like, what, what, what an achievement, Ash. It is an achievement.

I'm achieved. I feel achieved. You look very achieved. Thank you. Who'd have thought? A cheeky little DM from Matthew. Was it from you? Well, I went back into our DMs and I tried to go back to the start and I was scrolling

up and up and up and up and up and I was like, it's taking a very long time. So I gave up on that. That's a sign of a good relationship. If you can't get to the top of the messages. What an achievement. I know. But some people have said, Hey, how did you and Ash come to be? What is the story there?

Were you always best friends? Childhood friends. What happened? Well, it actually started with like all good relationships these days. I think you started liking my videos first. I think that's incorrect. On TikTok, I think it was. I think that is highly incorrect.

And then we transitioned into Instagram. You transitioned. You're doing all of the moves. You're making all the moves. Was I? You're initiating here. I thought- I'm just like, take me, Matthew, now.

I thought your videos were clever. Not all of them. I thought maybe one in five were clever. And that was enough to like bait me and bring me in. You're lying to yourself, mate. I know what your standards are like. I must be of high standard for you to engage. I was thinking to myself, he's good,

but he's got to have some kind of... Floor. Yeah. I don't. So we got together. It was a Christmas party. Well, actually, what happened was when you were trying to court me, I was telling my wife, I was like, this Matty J. Johnson guy.

Surely you must have heard the name spoken in media somewhere. I thought you were the weatherman. I did do the weatherman channel though. Yeah, but I actually thought you were Sam Mack. I'll take it. For a long time. I'll take it. He's a very lovely guy.

And she was like, you got to follow me back. You got to hit him back. And then I did, of course. I didn't hesitate. Don't pretend like April forced you into this. She kind of did. And now we're here. And she's like, come on, like, meet up with him.

Like, go down that dark alleyway. Be careful. Make sure you wear protection. Yeah, it was a Christmas party that you, it was like a blind date. I got invited to a Christmas party. I didn't. It was, look, bear with me for a second because it was a very cringe Christmas party. It was for Facebook.

Facebook meta. We're doing Christmas party. And so I knew going into that party, it was going to be a room filled with 20 year olds. Perfect. And I thought, Ash, stop being a creep. Sorry, you keep setting me up. I'm just knocking them down. And then I thought, I don't want to go by myself.

And also I don't want to invite, it's hard because you don't want to invite somebody who is like a builder into that environment. Oh yeah, they get a bit touchy. Because they'd be like, what is this? What is this hellhole? Who are these people? Yeah. And as well, everyone lives on their phone.

Everyone is just filming. It's just a bunch of people on their phone. Yeah. It must be a silent disco. That's what it's like. So I brought you along. Cause I was like, he'll get it. He's a man who gets content.

He also loves a drink. One and five. Yeah. We met at the pub before. We had like a pre-pub drink before going into the party. We should go back to that seat. We should go back to that seat. We should go back to that seat. It was a great evening.

All of a sudden we're making videos together. People are loving it. People were like, more, give us the dads, give us more of this. And I was like, this is, this is something special. This is weird. And then, uh, yeah, the, the podcast was born out of those videos, weren't they, Matthew? Cause I did have to convince you to do this podcast. Yeah, I wasn't that keen.

I wasn't that keen at first. Yeah. You've been burnt before. Do you know what sold me, Ash? You know what sold me? We did a little demo and I think Laura was in the room as I was playing it back in the living room on the couch and I was listening to it. And she kind of is picked up and she goes, that's pretty funny. Is that Ash?

And I said, yeah, that's the demo record. It was like, I imagine when a record label exec was playing like the Rolling Stones. Kanye. Like, well well he's too problematic these days she's like I think I think you got something there kid boy I think he's got it you want to be a star kid and here we are 100 episodes later hundred and two hundred and two episodes later we did a call out we said how should we celebrate and people like give us free stuff yeah fully yeah

and I was like all right so we've got something planned we do and we said, how should we celebrate? And people were like, give us free stuff. Yeah, fully, yeah. And I was like, all right. So we've got something planned. We do. And we'll let them know at the end? Yeah, we won't let them know right now. At the end of time? No, the end of this episode. End of this episode.

We're just going to edge you guys along for this episode. Did you say edge? Yeah. We'll tell you at the very end. Ah, my favorite pastime. How you can win this incredible prize that we've managed to get our little dirty hands on. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

I'm excited. Ash. You were back. You had a fucking six month holiday. Felt like that. Too long with my kids, man. Whose idea was it to take, was it three and a half weeks? Yeah. Who's that? a half weeks? Yeah.

Who's that? Is that April? Yeah. Her name starts with A and ends with prill. That's a long, long holiday. It's a long time to spend with your kids. It's a marathon, dude. Oh, it's a marathon.

I was, by the time I got to the end of it, I was just like, shut up. I think we were in the car on the way home from the airport at like 10 o'clock at night and I was just like, daddy, my bottoms. And I'm like, shut up. Where's my water? That's enough out of you. I love you daddy. No more talking.

Literally. I was like, look, we've done a lot of great talking today. That's enough. Nah, it was, it was good. You know, like a lot of kids, man, a lot of kids, but they've all got their own quirks. These kids go on and behaviors rub off on people. I'm not going to name and shame people because they'll, there's, there wasn't that many people if, if one person's like, well, that's not us.

That's probably the other people that, you know, how many was there of you? It started with 12 parents, 12 kids for a week. Yuck. It was, no, it was week. Yuck. Yuck. No, it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. Like when like it's like. Too many dude.

Too many. Don't knock it till you try it. And then it would dwindle down because we all went to different places in Bali. You guys split up? We did. Yeah. Yeah. We went to Nusselambonga, which was beautiful.

Well, that must be real nice. It was really nice. It was very nice. And like New Slum Bunga, is that mainland or is that island? Where is that Ash? Island. How do you get there? Like a 30 minute boat. Oh a speedboat. We have to take a yacht. Actually a speedboat. I don't want a yacht, they're too slow. And we went with friends of ours, Mike and Sala, and their two kids, Ziggy and Lennox. Happy to name and shame them. Ziggy's a liability around drinks.

Any drink. How old is Ziggy? Three and a bit. Some would say she's clumsy. Or drunk. Every day she knocked over a drink somewhere. First day we got there, I put a fresh beer down. Doing!

No, but also, that's on you, dude. It's like people who haven't been around kids putting anything near the end of a table. No, no. In middle of the table. We tested it. I tested it with a bottle of water. So how was she getting to the middle of the table? And I put a bottle, a plastic bottle there, right?

And then she was like on the table and she's like, just like knocked it over. We're at a restaurant. She's crawling on a table? No, no, just hands over. over. We're at a restaurant. She's crawling on a table. No, no, just hands over. And then we're at a restaurant and she's got a juice, right? And she's drinking it like that, drinking it like that, like not touching it. And then she's just like, goes to touch it. It's just like, and it got to the point that we were like, where is she

going to spill the next drink? Like putting beds on it? Pretty much. And then it came to a head when we were at, it kept getting like worse, like the drink was bigger or the drink was more expensive. It was a cocktail or something here or there. And then we were at this cafe and this poor waiter with a tray of iced coffees comes out and Ziggy's like, with her head knocks, I think, like eight iced coffees off, smashes the glass everywhere. And she didn't even take any notice of it.

She was like, who's this idiot? So she was the trip liability. She was like, okay, well, how many iced coffees are we going to have to pay for on this trip? Because she just smashed them everywhere. There's always one, my guy. There is. That was her quirk. Oscar, and when you do travel with kids, obviously it takes time.

They don't understand they've got to wait. Plane checking. It's always a line. Customs. Immigration. It's just line after line. Then they're on a plane for six hours and then lines at the other end. They's always a line. Customs, immigration. It's just line after line. Then they're on a plane for six hours and then lines at the other end. They don't

quite understand. So we, you try and do anything to try and pass the time, especially when they're talking heaps. You're like, why don't we play the silent game? And Oscar's very good at going. I like to play the game of who can hold their breath the longest. Well, that's where we, that's where we're going with this. Okay. So we're in the back of a cab. Okay. And it's like a 15, 20 minute drive.

We've been at a beach club with the kids all afternoon. They're overtired. Oscar's like, how long is it going to be? Like blah, blah, blah. And I was like, why don't we play the silent game? Cause I fucking had enough of you guys. And there was like four kids in the car and I'm in the middle seat. The kids are mainly in the back. And there was like one kid next to me and I was like, we'll play the silent game because I fucking had enough of you guys and there was like four kids in the car and I'm in the middle seat the kids are mainly in the back and there was like one kid next to me and I was like we'll play the silent game who wins and everyone went silent I was like oh work the

street and I look over and Oscar's holding his breath in the back of the car and he doesn't realize that it's just a silent game not that you're not allowed to breathe game but you do make a bit of noise with your breathing so he was like like, I look over and he's like, God, and he's so competitive that he was like on the verge of passing out. I was like, breathe. He was like, I'm just like, bro, it was a silent game and you lost. So yeah, but he survived. Can I ask looking back at the entire three months that you were away, what was

the best part? What was the worst part? The worst part would have been the near broken back. Oh, the double flip. I went over there with like a slightly sore back. Now it's completely fine. And that was probably the worst. The couple of days after that where I was like, fuck, should I go to? I was like fuck. I think my back's broken and then I was like, yeah It feels more bruisey now and it was just like just once I got back in the water started surfing again Like three days later. I was like, yeah, I'm fine. I didn't get barley belly, which is great. That's weird

I've that this is that's three times in a row that I've been to Bali and not got a belly belly. Am I? My stomach was like this is that's three times in a row that I've been to Bali, not called Bali Belly. Am I? Bali's? Yeah dude. My stomach was like, you're only been back for a couple of days there big fella. We can still get you. Um, I think my, and this is going to be sweet. I'm not a very sweet guy, but I'm going to be. Then my favorite part was I think the first day in New Slum Bong, and the tide had gone out, all three families that we're still with, went down and there was like all these little pools of water that the kids could, you know, look for crabs and look for in the reef.

And we sat down there in like that deep, so foot deep for those listening, who can't see my hands. And we just, we, I think we sat there for like five hours and it was like out of the front of this restaurant too. So they were coming down and bringing food down, bringing drinks down. The kids were like, they'll bring in ice creams down for the kids. And we just all sat there and we had the UEE boom going and there was no one else on this entire beach.

There was a guy driving a big digger. I don't know what he was doing. I think he might've been practicing. I don't know. I had a shovel. That was a guy driving a big digger. I don't know what he was doing. I think he might've been practicing. I don't know. Sure. I had a shovel. That was great. And that was just like a really nice, yeah. It was a nice moment.

Be honest, the digger part was probably not essential. No, it's essential. Sorry. It was just us, our families and a digger. The digger's like, love me. Literally. But I, you like, love me. Literally. But I could have easily said, you know, the night's out with the dads. No, I think that was like the, when I

look back and I go, that was the nicest part. That was beautiful. Thank you. I'm a beautiful man. That was lovely. Thank you. But yeah, it was good. It was good.

I would highly recommend maybe not going with 12, 12, but you know, we weren't, we weren't in unison to do everything. We've got a Bali trip next year. Must be nice. Already? When?

Brit's wedding. I'm going to get Brit on the phone right now. But where is my invite? She's like, um, I don't even know you. She needs a DJ. I've just got four songs I can play. But yeah, good. Uh, you, so you're going to take the whole

fam and do a trip? Might leave the kids. Oh, must be nice. Nah, I'm joking. I'll bring the kids. Nah, must be nice. Nah, I'm joking. I'm bringing the kids. Nah, stop. I'm leaving me. Something else that came out of the trip is April's abdominal muscles. What do you mean?

So there was a couple of photos of April in a bikini. I wouldn't know. I wasn't looking. Yeah, posted on the- Interweb. 21st of October, roughly 4pm. You guys were on the beach. Correct. Purple polka dot. I didn't notice. I didn't explain.

That's rude. You should have noticed. I did notice. Yeah. So there was a photo of April and I at Potato Head in particular that was a suggestion from someone on the Facebook group. Said go to Potato Head, take the kids. Gonna be honest, not great for the kids, but it's Bali.

So that we, we still had fun. Potato Head's good for the kids? It was just very busy. There's a kids pool there. Yeah, but it was like cold and shit. Alright. Yeah, but we went in the adults pool. We peed in the adults pool, it's great. I peed in the adults pool. We peed in the adults pool. It's great.

I peed in the adults pool. Thank you. Fucking everyone going out. I'm at it now. I'm a dad. I do not care. I think there's a time when you're not allowed to pee in the pool. It's between being 18 and having kids. I think that time it's like,

Frowned upon. You've got time, bro. Yeah. If I get out to go to the toilet, then I got Macy get out. She wants to take her swimmers off. I'm like a month away from shitting in the pool now. I'm like, I'm relaxing.

No one disturbed me. Remind me. You should never go in the pool with you. Yeah. So potato heads. So thank you for the suggestion. I don't know who it was. Just say Harley.

She's like, yes. And we posted a really nice photo. It was a really nice sunset photo. It was a real nice photo. It was a nice photo. And then I got an influx of direct messages. I sent three. Or for those who are a bit younger than us, DMs.

People saying, are we going to talk about your wife's abs? I've given her a big head because I told her I shouldn't have. So for the rest of the trip. Was she just flexing? Yeah. She was like, anytime, like anyone was like, hey, she's like, hey, it's the lifestyle. Just curling at the dinner table. Yeah.

She's like, do you even lift bro? She is, and I mean this in the most respectable way possible. She's very fit. She's very fit. She does work very hard. Like she, Macy's three now and she's very high on routine, April. Like she's so routine. Like every morning at five o'clock she's off to the gym.

She loves it. Loves it. She did a couple of sessions over there, but. Were you like, get back in there. No. Fucking hit those weights down. Yeah, I'm like. Stop sucking off eating the ice cream on the beach.

Yeah, because I am. And yeah, she also eats very well. She's a pillow. What? Can I say anything without being a joke? It's not a joke. It's serious. It's a lifestyle. Once she yelled at me because there wasn't enough protein in the dinner I made.

Is she a Pilates girl? She's a Pilates girl. No. She's just hitting the weights. She comes in and out of Pilates every now and then. So Sana who went, she's a Pilates instructor. What's she doing? How's she getting so shredded?

She just trains hard bro. And eats well. Like I said, she eats protein. It's a lifestyle. Call her right now. I want to know what her weekly split is. Hi. Hi. April?

Yeah? Random question. How are you splitting up your routine at the gym? I do a lot of lower body and then I do boxing as my upper body. That's about it. That's it. How many times a day you're doing abs? Abs are built in the kitchen, babes. There it is. All right.

Bye. Good stuff. Bye April. Bye. Love you. Oh, abs are made in the kitchen. If there's anything you take from this episode, that's the key takeaway. I want to know what the recipe for abs is because it's not working for me.

It's definitely not having like- I spend so recipe for abs is, because it's not working for me. It's definitely not having like- I spend so much time in the kitchen that it's not working. That's enough about me and my wife's abs. You also have abs and you also went on holidays. I'm essentially your wife. I could be. You could be. Throw a bit of rouge on your tuckie sack back.

I'm game. I took a leaf out of your page. Is that the right saying? A page. I took a page out of you. I took a book out of your page. A page out of your book. I'm so bad with saying, sorry, apologies. I was missing you.

I was struggling and I thought, what would Ash do in this moment? I know, I'll take a holiday. That's exactly what I would do. And it was kind of similar in that I didn't go away with 12 families. I went away with two other families. And this is one of the families that I met. I don't know if I told you the story. I try not to tell you the story too much because I know it may make you a little bit jealous. Nothing makes me jealous. That's a lie. Okay. I met this couple at the park. I would like to say over a year and a half ago.

Mel and Enzo. Yes. I love Mel and Enzo. Very good memory. Yeah. And me and Enzo catch up too. What? Yeah. Do you know that?

I'm actually seeing him out for this. No, you're not. Yeah. Nah, I made that up. But Enzo, if you're free. So we were, we progressed the relationship from just, you know, a bump into the park every now and then to then having play dates with the kids. What were we doing in the park?

Just bumping into each other. You know, it was like midnight or a Friday behind the bushes. Nothing sus. Just bumping genitals together. Enzo, maybe you're in there tonight. Just bumping genitals together. And so, maybe down there tonight. But we would have play dates. We would go to each other's birthday parties because they have two young kids.

We have two young kids. Similar ages. Everything was going great. And then we decided to take the relationship to the next level. And we're like, let's book a holiday. Can I ask you a question? Absolutely. You can ask me anything.

You recently went on holidays with April and I as well. Which holiday was better? Don't you dare? Don't you dare Ash. No. I dare. Both, I couldn't compare. It was like, wrong answer. It was you. It was ours. Just say it. It was yours. Thank you. Don't listen. Do you know what? I'm gonna go on holiday with Enzo and Mel and then I'll compare the pair. Please. Okay. No, and they're like, what the fuck is going on? It's like, why are you here?

Why are you in my house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on holidays. Shut up. Um, we had another family, Eddie and Nick came along as well. Shout out to them. Where are they from? Glad you asked.

Backstory. Give me all of them. Uh, from Brisbane, once from Melbourne, originally lived in Sydney. We used to live down the road from us. We would often see them walking down to the beach. We've all come so far. We have. You know, like the relationships, the podcast episodes.

Everyone's just ticking boxes right now. It's a time to celebrate. It is. Yay! Where'd you go? I'm glad you asked. I know exactly where you went. King.

Where'd you go? I'm glad you asked. I know exactly where you went. I flew back from Bali early and I just hid in the bushes. I was like, don't go near my Matthew. That's with someone else right now. Great holiday. Great little weekend getaway. Kingscliff.

Kingscliff. Near the Gold Coast. It's in between Byron Bay and the Gold Coast. And it's just, it's lovely. My old stomp and ground. But it was lovely. Bit similar to yourself, but it was only three nights that we were away where, like, your patience was wearing very thin.

I remember one day in particular, I was like, we're going down to the beach. And Marley's like, I'm bringing my pencils and my coloring in. And I'm like, you're not, you're not bringing in your coloring pencils and pens. That's ridiculous. And she's like, I am. And I was like, you're not. And Laura, Laura was down the hallway. She went to get some fresh towels.

She came back in after like, oh, fuck off. She just came back in and she's like, I don't know. I was, I could hear that from the hallway. Oh, that's embarrassing. Yeah. I was like, it's fine. Dad voice activated. It's gotta happen.

And about a one day, Ash, a one day we went to a place called Tropical Fruit World. I'm familiar. The most fertile soil in the world is great for kids. Is it? It's essentially just like a big, like an enormous paddock. You jump on a tractor, it's like a train. You then all hop on the tractor,

you go around, they talk about all the fruit that they've planted there over the last few decades. You then stop, you pick the fruit, you crack macadamia nuts, you eat bananas. Everyone's having a really wholesome great time. That's great. Okay? I like it.

I like it. But then you finish, Ash, at a part of the tour where you just sit down and you feed the animals and. Give me an array of animals. You got goats, you got donkeys, you got koalas. The basics. Have I made a mistake? Is this allowed or not?

You're late on me, big guy. And maybe it's a Queensland thing. I'm not quite sure. But it was the end of the tour. Essentially finishes at a park playground and, and everyone's just, you know, everyone's feeling so great. Everyone's smiling. Everyone's had a good time.

We're all full of fruit. We've all been petting the animals, you know, and you've been in that group on the tour from start to finish. It runs for a few hours. So you also, you're feeling connected to the other people. You're on the land. You know, it's just, you're feeling wholesome. And also- I'm just picturing you being connected to all the other people, you're on the land, you know, it's just, you're feeling wholesome. And also-

Just picturing you being connected to all the other people. Everyone's like, what's this guy's deal? Like, kumbaya, oh my god, kumbaya. Playing the guitar. But also you're seeing other wild animals as well on the tour. Like, you know, we saw some turtles. Oh. All right.

We saw like bush turkeys. We saw a snake. All right. We saw like bush turkeys. We saw a snake. What sort of snake? You just like, it was a smorgasbord of native animals. Delicious. Beautiful. Okay. And then some people were like, look, it's a frog. And I was like, that's no frog. That's a cane toad. That's no frog.

That's a cane toad. Coming from Queensland, a cane toad is like a cockroach. Yeah. There's more cane toads than people in Queensland. You just kill it. Oh yeah. And you kill it the most dramatic way you can. So whilst a few people, mostly our kids and Mel and Enzo and Ed and Nicky's kids, they're all like looking at a frog. They don't know what a cane toad is.

I now know. So they were like, wow, looking at this cane toad. And I come steam rolling in and I'm like, gonna lead the way. He's knocking. Come by. I throw my guitar, jump up from the campfire, and I boot this thing so fucking hard.

This cane tote is like... And I was like, yeah! Totally like two points. All the flags go up. It's like, if you're allowed to do that. You have to do that. You instinct. As a Queenslander, your instinct to see a cane toad is to just immediately kill it.

Cause they're introduced as well. They're a pest bro. They're an introduced species. What were they cane to say the cane fields? To eat the cane beetles. Hence the name cane toad. There we go. That takes me back to my childhood.

You kicking that frog. I'm just having flashbacks. Thank you. Of kicking the shit out of fucking Cane Toad. So then did I look I turn around and the kids were all like, the frog! Why? Oh that's a good guess. Marley who's so so sensitive, was just like, Mommy, I can't stop thinking about death. Oh my God. And all the kids are hysterical. And I was like, have you ever done something where, you know, you turn around and you expect nothing but praise? Like, what a hero.

And everyone's just like, what's wrong with you? That's a bit much. And Laura was like, you're such an idiot sometimes. And I was like, I'm just, I'm just a man. That's, that's what I mean. It's like, if you haven't grown up around doing that, it's a bit fucking weird. Melaninzo, they're from the UK. See they don't understand, like they don't know what, like even the animals in the UK, do they? No, there's none. There's none left. There's none left. They've killed them all. The pigeons. That's it. Yeah.

And then as well, and then like some of the other families, they were like hiding their kids like, oh my God, like, Timmy, look away. Yeah. It's like, I think you've done the right thing. I'm going to back you up. I would be going. Let's kick it again. Laura was like, you're about to get kicked off the tour as well. Like the Ranger was looking at me a bit funny. And I was like, no, he's not. He's cool it again. Laura was like, you're about to get kicked off the tour as well. Like the Ranger was looking at me a bit funny.

And I was like, no, he's not. He's cool. Anyway. He's like, good kicks on. No one gave me any praise except for Eddie. Eddie was like, I've killed a few katoads in my time. Yeah. It's like when I was, because they were, they made their way south down the border, obviously,

because you weren't in Queensland. They made their way down. And there's so much bushland and stuff. A couple of things, right? They're good for one thing. Like a poisonous snake is around and eats one. It'll kill the snake. It'll also kill your dog if the dog eats it. And they're so hard to kill. Like I have literally squashed one of its guts out of its mouth once and it splattered on the road. And I- They do that. They do that on purpose. It's a self-defense mechanism. And I walked away like, and then he just follows the guts and it like hops away.

So when I kicked it, it's got to wear out and they're like, it's dead. And I was like, it's not even dead. You need to kick it like three more times. Let me do it. You just stomp on it. And then next thing it sucks the guts back in and hopped away. Cause it's back is all past. And the cane toad was like, yeah, literally sucked fucker I'm survived survived worse than you bro you kick

like my nan off the way hey Ash we've been edging the listeners this whole episode yes we have and if you're ready to climax we've talked a lot about holidays we We- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uh If you're the listener, you can win and enjoy a holiday like Ash has just had, like I've just had. And maybe a bit more responsible than us. I don't think where you're about to go, there are no cane totes. But in celebration of us hitting a hundred episodes, we're now at like a hundred and two, we are giving away, what we're giving away one lucky family, a three night stay

at the Sunday's Boutique Hotel on Hamilton Island. Ash, it is just about to open up. It's going to be ready for next, early next year. They're currently building it. It's brand spanking new. You may be one of the first families to stay there. How do we get, how do we, how do we manage that?

You're looking at the weasel. There's so much I don't know about this show. Okay. So what I do know though, it includes breakfast, a $500 dining credit. I'm taking this. I know. A yacht cruise to Whitehaven Beach. Have you been to Whitehaven Beach?

Many times, my friend. It's beautiful. Must be nice. Worth $7,620. The price is right. Did I win? Beautiful. Have you been to Hamilton Island before? I've been a couple of times.

Oh my god, lost me there. With and without kids. It's bloody great. It is good. It's a great place for kids. It's a great place. And we're going to throw in a thousand dollars to make sure you and the family can get there however way possible. We are? Boat?

You can walk. Speedboat. Save the money. Yeah. But it's a great prize. So they could use the thousand dollars on flights. We'll just give it to them. We're just going to give it to them?

Yeah. If you want, you can swim there. If you've already got flight credit, you could use that as spending money. You should just pay for it. That's cocktails. That's cocktail spending money. So the family of four. So if you've got five, leave the fifth one at home.

Yeah. So two adults, two kids. Okay, cool. Okay. And the way that you can win. Okay. What we're asking you to do, if you have a video that shows us that you deserve a holiday because of your kids, you need to post that on social media, on stories, tag us at 2dotingdads with the hashtag Hammohescapes.

H-A-M-M-O escape. So I'm thinking like, if your kid has gone in and drawn all over your bedroom walls with pen, have that on camera, send it to us. You deserve a holiday. If your child has eaten your lipstick, is covered in it head to toe, send it to us. You deserve a holiday.

You deserve a holiday. Those are the type of nightmare scenarios that we would like to see. We will post some of those videos to show what kind of disasters we're really after. And when will we announce the winner, Matt? So we'll let this run for a week and then we'll announce the winner in about seven days from now. All right.

Get in. Let's go. Woo! All right, if you enjoyed this episode, please send it to a friend, subscribe. What you should do is you should jump on the Facebook group and go to Two Doting Dads, or you can join us on Instagram at Two Doting Dads. I think that's it.

All right, let's go, let's get out of here. Yeah, let's go. We'll see you guys later. All right, bye. All right, bye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal

and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.