Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #121 Sleep Witchcraft, Gender Burnouts And Existential Questions With Wippa

Episode Date: January 26, 2025

Wippa, from Fitzy and Wippa with Kate, shares the other side of his life, which is parenting. Wippa is a dad of three to Ted, Jack, and Francesca and opens up about how he juggled early morning radio with the relentless demands of newborn life. Between juggling newborns, sleep deprivation, and crack-of-dawn radio calls, Wippa somehow found time to invent his own sleep techniques… ones that probably won’t be included in any parenting books. The guys also tackle the big questions kids ask, like “What is God?” which, as it turns out, might be harder to answer than getting a baby to sleep through the night. VOTE TO KEEP MATTY J IN THE JUNGLE!  https://10play.com.au/im-a-celebrity-get-me-out-of-here/trial 2025 Raunchy Ranch Calendar IS STILL ON SALE!  https://budgysmuggler.com.au/products/two-doting-dads-raunchy-ranch  Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matthew, when your girls were a lot smaller than they are now, did you have any funky sleeping techniques? We did one thing with Marley. Only Marley, not Lola, but when she would go to sleep, the way that we would get her to sleep would be us rocking her in our arms. We would then transition her, while she was asleep in our arms, into her bed, her cot.

And as you know, when you take your hands away, they wake up, so you then rock again. So every sleep took at least 45 minutes. The dreaded transition. What did you do? We had the butt pat. Of course. And we speak about it in this episode with Whippa.

And Matt, you know Whippa from where? Nova, back in the day. Used to work with him. Did you? Well, not really. I had a Saturday morning radio show. He had a real radio show. You would know him from Fitzy Whippa and Kate Richie in the mornings. Yes and he talks about a really strange type of technique that he used with his daughter Francesca back when he

was trying to get her to sleep. Mr Whippa is married to wife Lisa and they have three kids, Ted, Jack and Francesca. Oh, what did you call her? Frankie? Fran? I think? Fran? Frankie. We tried. We cover a bit about sleep in this chat and we also hear how Whippa tackles those random existential questions that young kids tend to ask. Like what is God?

There was a condom question in there too, wasn't there? And sex as well. All the good stuff. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Let's get into it. Welcome back to two... Fuck, I fucked it. Three doting dads, I'm so sorry. I am Matty J. I'm Ash. And I'm Michael John Whipflee from the Whipflee family. You can tell that you've done X amount of years of radio.

A lot of flying time on the big stick. This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad. And the related was I only said you were on that. We're in all sorts. We apologize for the mess. Mr. Whippa, we do not give any advice on this podcast, but I can only assume that today's episode

is gonna be a drenching of knowledge and Ash and I are ready for it. A book-hockey of knowledge. Okay, sure. Hey, can I bring something up quickly? I was really keen to get one of the, some of your merch, not the calendar we were talking about earlier, but they must be nice because I just, I've got a mate by the name of Hamish Blake. We've got 500 of them. You didn't honestly.

We did. It must be nice. Matt did it. I mean it's fine. I mean the podcast world and the entertainment world is a friendly area. Is it? I don't know. So what about just thinking if we put a French flag on it and it? I don't know. So what about just thinking,

if we put a French flag on it, and it was just, must be nice. Yeah. Yeah. And you could sell them internationally, right? So do some sort of a- That's good gear, I like that. Yeah, do a rev share deal with some tourism stand.

Must be nice. Must be nice. Must be nice. Where are we? Must be nice. That is gold. I don't know. We've got 500 of them. Where are we? Must be nice. That is gold. I don't know. We've got 500 of them.

What do you think? Very good. What do you think? Looks like a must be nice. People have responded very positive. Have they? It's exactly the one review we got where someone was like, get your own fucking cake.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like, Hamish, is that? Yeah. It's under anonymous. Yeah. Ham, it's under anonymous. Awesome. Hey, no one's perfect. Definitely not us. No, they're not.

Anyway, back to the drawing board. Sorry, we're parents, daddy, doting dad. We do a bit of a, how you say, like psycho analysis on the guests. We always try, Ash and I talk about, what was the guests like when they were younger, do you think? And we feel like we figured you out. And tell us if we're way off the mark here, or if we're flying pretty close to home, I feel like as a youngster,

you were somebody who was everyone's best friend. I feel like the students would have loved you, the teachers would have hated you. You would have had a few favorite teachers, but you would have been the disruptor. Class clown-ish. Oh. I would say everyone's friend. Yeah, I was that kind of guy.

I was that kind of guy. Very arrogant. I don't want to say. He's just like, there we go, tick that one off. But you said it first. I mean, if I could have just given a thumbs up, it would be bad for the podcast. But you're on the right track.

I don't know if you can hear the thumbs up. But then, no goody two shoes. Not class clown, but was very much, nah, you do that, mate. Nah, you do that, nah, you don't. Throw this big ball. I was the encourager. The encourager, yeah. I was the backing to make sure

that the real class clown could do his job. The puppet master, as you will. The puppet master. And then very quick to do a, it was him, sir. Oh. The snitch. That is disgusting behaviour. Oh. Oh. The snitch. That is disgusting behavior. Kick him out.

The snitch. So yeah, I would swap very quickly from supporting role to punisher. How did you figure that out? Did something happen? No, I just didn't want to get in trouble. My dad was very strict with things like that. And when he would say to you, you're better than that.

That's when you knew not to behave badly. So like a spitball from the back of the classroom onto a TV would have been outrageous behavior for me. So that's where I had to make Eddie Glenn. I would do a lot of Eddie. Oh, you know, I've got a great idea for today. I even talked Eddie Glenn into, we had like an assembly hall that had a fire extinguisher up the back. I even talked him into putting a rubber between the handle, right? Yeah. A

rubber like an eraser, putting it between the handle that you squeeze down on a fire extinguisher and then putting fishing line around the rubber, which ran down the side of the wall and then nailed across, you know, those hoop nails or whatever they're called, and then nailed across, you know those hoop nails or whatever you wanna call them? So he could stand outside assembly and pull the rubber which sprayed the fire hydrant. And once again, it was him. I mean, I brought the hammer to school.

I gave him all the parts to make the bomb. And then sat there and enjoyed the spray. Until, until he hit the van. Oh my God, a two watt sir, if I knew anything about that, I would have stopped it immediately. That guy, no, so that's- Where is he now?

Any day. He's in prison. Yeah, he's locked away, he's doing nine-hours. He's like, he's rocking in the car. Every time he sees a fire extinguisher, he panics. Even the colour red, it's bad for him. Did you ever have a new report cards, wish he would apply himself more? Non-stop.

Did you pick that as well? Yeah. From your psychoanalysis. Yeah. Yeah. Mine's the same. They pulled me into class. I mean, I got, in year 12, I got 16.6, rounded up to 17, out of 100.

On? On all of it. Yeah, yeah, which was, yeah, what was it? Cause I'm Queensland, so we have. Is it like golf in the lower the score better? Unfortunately not. She can't flip it on its head. Essentially you got 17%.

Yeah. Sorry man. Brain's over here. Sorry, what's so funny? So it's 17%. I'm just jumping in what's so funny about it. It's just a little bit lower than what I got. Yes, it's lower what I expected as well.

Did that surprise you at all? No, I didn't do anything. I had a great time at school, but never applied myself academically. It just wasn't my thing, but I remember they had, there was sort of two rankings in year 12 to join a hierarchy. So you could become a school officer,

and there was maybe, I don't know, 80 school officers. Is that like a prefect? Well, the prefect was a graduation from the school officer and I would say there was probably 20. And they called a meeting and I was in the meeting with mum and dad and the head of year 12 and they said, we really like Michael. And I said, it's going really well,

I'm flying here guys, boats are streaming in. And it's terrific that he is a school officer. We'd love to make him a prefect, but he just doesn't do anything. He doesn't do anything. Why don't you do anything? Just the presence. I was the energy guy. I was like the personality hire. Oh yeah. In the workplace everyone has the personality hire. Brings the energy, the mood's high. Did you want to be prefect?

Did you want that notch on the belt? If I had to work for it, I don't think so. But I sort of, I don't know, there was a moment where I thought, you ignorant fools for thinking that the academic assessment equals prefect. What does a school officer? Highly ranked.

Yeah, I think- Highly ranked. Popularity contest for- Oh, did you say house captain? No. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you knew that pretty much. Did you say house captain? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you knew that too. What, a sports house captain? Nah, just house captain.

Just house captain. So overall. So not sports house captain. Well, sport was under house captain. Oh, so you were the overruling house captain. Overruling, yeah, sort of the lordship. And that's when you, so when you directed the orders as house captain, people would have to just follow without question.

Yes, without question. So I've always been in a very, very powerful position throughout my life. How do you think the podcast is going so far? At what point did you think, I think I'm going to work in media? I always thought it would be fun. I mean, I remember doing, I don't know, I sort of played in

I played in a little band for a while. A cover band wasn't it? Well Platinum yeah. Platinum. Platinum. Yeah. Platinum performed probably once or twice. Ever. Yeah so it was really we picked our venues, we picked our times. It didn't take off but we used to play guitar at a few 21sts. And around that time too, Andy Lee had a band with his brother, and he was doing 21sts as well. And then we had so many parties going on, we'd be emceeing or giving speeches, and Andy would be there with his guitar doing his thing with his brother. They'd do an acoustic set. Probably not as advanced as Platinum. But that's kind of how I think, I don't know,

the entertainment started. You got the taste for it. Yeah. What's your dad's opinion of how this is unfolding, knowing that you got the 16.6%. You're now a musician, which is a tough industry. Playing at lots of clubs. He, dad's different to me, he's quite a straight guy,

but he'll always say, he'll say, you know what he does, he delivers sort of a, it's a loaded compliment. So he'll say, I heard the show the other day, I go, oh yeah, what'd you think? And he goes, well, I suppose you need to ask yourself the question, what do you want to be known for? So that's what I'm saying, that was shit. So he'll say that, and then he'll go. Between the lines, what will you? Oh yeah, I'll Yeah. So he'll say that. Could you?

And then he'll go. Between the lines? Oh yeah. I'll know because he'll call me Mikey. Mikey. Oh no. And I'll go, oh shit, what have I done here? And then he'll make his comment.

Then he'll go, but I know nothing about the game, but I know nothing about the industry. Cover his tracks. Was he trying to steer you in a different direction at all? No, he was always supportive of whatever I wanted to do. So when I left school, I went and did a TAFE course in building management. So I could- I like that.

You look like a foreman. Thank you, more hands on than on the tools. But so I did that for a while and then like project management, worked on site for a while and then, but always wanted to get into radio. Did a short course, that's what I did. Did your dad approve of Lisa then, I assume?

Oh yes. He did? Yep, still does, which is great news. How was that initial meeting? I think it was good. I don't think it was a nervous time. I just remember when I'd met her and I realised I'd met somebody very special,

and being in the car with dad, wanting to tell him, you know, you don't know how to broach those conversations, whatever it might be. What's his name? What? The sports. I remember sitting down, I completely forgot about this. Oh, here we go. I was telling mom and dad that I was going to propose to her. And then I said, Do you know what what guys, I'll be showing an eye going away in June

and I'm going to propose to her. But dad must have missed something because he goes, propose to who? Oh God. I mean, what do you mean who? I've just done a whole spiel about how much she means to me and how exciting it is. How long have you guys been together for at this point?

Oh yeah, 18 months. Okay, is that what I'm telling you? Yeah. You're still seeing her, right? Oh! And I was like emotional. And I said to, I think mum started to tear up, dad was still trying to put the pieces together.

He's misread the whole thing. You're excited to share something with someone so close. Yeah. You know, you're waiting for share something with someone so close. Yeah. You know, you're waiting for that moment of, oh my God, Dad will remember the moment I said that I'd found the man of my life. Who? But who?

What was the name again? Who? Oh, John, please keep up. That was a battle. But he gave it when he realised who it was, two thumbs up, he's on board. Yeah, he was always on board. And then what I it was, two thumbs up, he's on board. Yeah, he was always on board. And then what I did was I wanted to do the traditional thing

of asking Lisa's parents, Deborah and David, if I had their permission to marry their daughter. But they lived on the Goldie. So I said to Lisa, you know what, I need a new suit. So I'm gonna go into the city and I'm gonna look for a suit all day long. You know, I'm gonna spend eight hours looking for the. I hate trying on clothes, you know that honey?

Seems suspicious. So straight to the airport, got on the flight. You got on the flight. Met them for lunch. What? Came back. You couldn't ring them? I didn't wanna do that.

I wanted to sit down and eyeball them. Wanted to see the color of their art. Send them a letter? No, but when you wanted their reaction, what would you organize lunch? They know what you're flying in for. Yeah, oh yeah. You know, don't just, hey, I just wanted to talk about

our future finances. Things, yeah. Hey, what do you think about the state of politics? Let me fly up to the Gold Coast and talk you through that. Yeah, were they nicely dressed and, nicely dressed and it was wonderful. We had a great lunch and then I got home, got back on the plane, got home. And this was like, where's the suit? By that stage, I'd forgotten about the suit story because I was so,

you know, swept up in the moment of, you know, the meeting we just had. And then I said, oh, yeah, I found the tailor moment of the meeting we just had. And then I said, oh yeah, I found the tailor, it's getting measured and stuff. They're like alterations. I'll pick it up next week. So I then had to go and buy a suit. After that.

And now you have a nice suit. And a nice wife, which is great. She still loves me. Do you remember when you and Lisa started having the conversation about starting a family? Yes, yes. I remember, you never know. You never know how long it'll take.

I suppose you go through those times, but you're also kind of deciding the level of commitment you wanna make to making the baby. How do you mean? Well, do we just get it on? Yes. Randomly in the routine and we're already in? Like, oh my God, it's Tuesday night and there's nothing on TV, you know?

Or do we want to go, okay, well, let's find out when you're ovulating, and then we'll try and strike when the iron's hot. Or do you do that theory of 30 days, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, can't miss. Oh, we call it for the 30 days. Well, that's what I was. As a tip that it can ruin your sex life. So yes, I remember having that conversation. I think we just kind of randomly cruised through it for a while until we got the ovulation thing

that you spit on on. We've never, we've never. You spit what? We've never done that. You put it on the tongue and it says, oh maybe she wheeze on it. It would make more sense to wheeze on it. Does it?

Does it? Sorry, the tongue was the drug test. That was different when she was pulled over. People listening right now are like, what? I'm sure you can do it with saliva. I think. Maybe it's weed. Either way, it'll tell you where the ovulation period is

and then you get in and fight for your life, you know? Let's wrestle. But we were lucky enough that it worked quite easily. I think it took two months. And you hear some really challenging stories. So I remember thinking, that's fantastic. Then Ted was born and then surprise, surprise, wonderful news, seven months later,

after the birth of Ted, she was pregnant again. Wow. Yeah. And I was the father. So we found some consistency there. But Jack was a wonderful surprise to us, but you know, we couldn't have wished for anything more, and then we were lucky enough to strategically think, will we go again in the hope of getting a little girl?

And we did. Was the plan always for three? Was that always on the card? Yeah, I think so. If we could have a third, we would go for it and we did. We did, which was fantastic, and Francesca came along. Quickly. Too personal.

Not personal enough, if you ask me. But there are different techniques to get the girl to the boy. Jack and Theo, did you find out at birth the sex? Did you do a reveal? How did it happen with your first two? Ted, we didn't find out. I don't know how people do that. But my god, I was so excited. Uh, uh, uh, just a big plum-like ball bag.

I'm thinking, man, that's the best set of plums I ever did see. That's a purple too, aren't they? Oh, they're huge. They're weird, aren't they? They're huge. They're weird, aren't they? Huge. Wild swingers. Were they long or are they just big?

Big, big boys. Good on you. Hopefully listens back to this. Did you say anything to those in the room? The midwives? That's my boy. He's beautiful, but I think every parent gets quite a shock at the look of the. The genitalia. I got a shock just looking at the at him, at my,

because my eldest is a boy too, and he popped him out. He was screaming. I was like, put him back. He was covered in mucus and shit. That was the fathering instinct straight away. Yeah, I've got to protect him. Put him back. It's a one way. It's a one way, Ash. But then found out with Jack that it was going to be a boy I've got to protect him. Put him back. It's a one-way, it's a one-way, Ash.

But then I found out with Jack that it was going to be a boy, just from a planning point of view. And then with Francesca, it was taken out of my hands and fits you very generously. Organised a gender reveal. I absolutely love gender reveal. Did you have any input at all in the concept? No, no.

He was kind enough to organise it. That's so nice of him. Do you know what we did? We did a gender reveal cake for Jack. Forgot about that. So Lisa's mom cut the cake on her birthday and we found out it was gonna be a boy. That's how we knew about Jack.

That's appropriate. So in my mind, gender reveal was done. Like we didn't have to do a gender reveal. Enter Ryan James Fitzgerald. Oh mate, I've got the best plan. Oh, you're gonna love it, mate. You're gonna love it. Is it very me?

Is there something I'd really like? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to Eastern Creek Speedway. You are there quite often. That's the thing. I would have loved to have done this podcast earlier, but you know I'm always doing burnouts. Yeah, I can't get enough tar in my lungs, man. So he organised a gender reveal burnout with Lisa.

Was Lisa in attendance? Lisa and the kids were there. So Fitzy was in the back of some, I don't know, I don't know anything about cars. Let's say it was a Holden Commodore. It was a Prius. It was a Prius. It was a Prius.

It was a Prius! It was definitely a Commodore, it was a Commodore, and I don't know what model it was, V something, but the tires were perfect, it was ready to go, and all we had to do was stand there and wait to see if the smoke from the rubber of the tires was pink or bloody blue, mate. While Fitz was in the back seat with a helmet on,

yelling out the back window. That's gold. That's a dream. We need to hear that footage. Do you have the footage? We would have. That's a dream. We need to hear that footage. Do you have the footage? We would have it, yeah. Oh, we need to dig that out. So it's just spinning around in circles,

why we were pretended to be emotionally moved by the reveal, but more devastated we were watching Fitzy in the back of a Commodore. There's nothing more Australian. Nothing more Australian than that. People are dying with gender reveals, have you seen that? Yeah.

Like someone will fly over dropping a color of smoke out of a plane and... Yeah. Are you guys wanting to say that there's another baby on the way and you might need 50's help? I've had a vasectomy. Oh, okay. I'm a proud owner of a vasectomy. Congratulations. Thank you.

I was wondering why you had that. I'm so brave. Is it sore? Still? No. Some people live with soren that. I'm so brave. Is it sore? Still? No. Some people live with soreness. Show him the scars. OK. Where in the sack did they go?

It's a gooch, isn't it? They go, no. Underneath. I thought it was under the ballsack. Because Fitzie had one of these done, and I said, where do they go in? They go in. And he went, I don't know, mate.

And I said, have you not even looked? You've had an incision made in your testicles. I already had a scar on my nuts. From what? You don't know this story either. Your first vasectomy. Well, let's not call it a vasectomy, no. I had what they call a twisted testicle.

Oh, right. When I was 14 years of age. Have we? Is that being spoken about? I've never brought this up. I was saving it for this episode. Oh my God. Let's go into this.

Because Ted said to me the other night, the teacher spoke to us about twisted testicles. How do they get twisted? You're playing soccer. Ice dancing? No, I was surfing. I surfed a lot that day and then I got this really big... Picture when you ball up a rubber band.

They said when they opened me up, that's what it looked like. And then they had to untwist it, stitch to the sidewall. So I've already got a scar down the middle. Have you not seen my scar down the middle of my nuts? Not yet, no. There was a guy at school who, in a similar situation, and his name was, we used to call him Bukas.

And Bukas had missed like two weeks of school. And this was in year nine. Bruce Brown was the year leader. Bruce Brown got up and said, now you might've been a bit concerned about Bukas. He's had a twisted testicle. So his testes are gonna be fine, but he'll be back to school very soon. He's had an operation on his balls.

So what do you reckon he was called for the rest of school? He was twisties. I was one nut. Were you? And my friends used to sing Wonderwall school? He was Twisties. I was one nut. Were you? And my friends used to sing Wonderwall, but instead of Wonderwall, it was one ball. Classic. Classic.

That's not funny, that's not... Yeah, I also had a friend that was very insensitive when I did have, just after I had the surgery, he saw me a couple of days later, he would pretend to sack whack me. Sack whack. So that he wouldn't actually hit me, but I'd squeak, my nuts were so swollen,

I'd squeeze my legs together. And the stitches would like, it was brutal. Back to the incision of the vasectomy, where is it? It would be in the same area of the scar down the middle. So what they do is they cut you open. In the middle? There's two holes, it's only a small incision. I was hoping I got a vasectomy.

And they go in, they actually melt. It's got a bolt through it. It's actually... It's like... It's a bull ring, actually. Oh, wow. And they go in and they actually melt the tube. So there's a lot of smell of burning skin.

Oh! I was... What's that smell? It's your balls, mate. It's burning flesh. And boiled semen. and boiled semen. And boiled semen. I was bubbling.

I was sweating profusely so much so they had to peel me off the bed. Like I was stuck to it like the leather hospital, but like medical bed. And then you're meant to rest and recover. But instead, I went I went out to the pub with the boys. And were you able to enjoy yourself? I clocked up 15k's on foot and I was swollen up to my belly. I was bruised up to my belly button. Right.

Yeah, ended up in a gay bar. My nuts were out the whole night. I'm just showing everybody. My black testicles. Were they actually black? I was bruised up to my belly button. Because I had done three. That's because you fucking went out dancing all night.

You only live once a week. I was prepared to do that, except when Lisa, because she had a C-section, they tied her tubes during the C-section. So it took the baby out and then you clamp the tubes. So she can't get pregnant. Is this after the third one? Yeah.

Okay. Was that always part of the plan or was that in the- Yes. A surprise. Surprise! That was part of the plan or was that a surprise? Surprise! That was part of the plan. Got you. I mean I would have been happy to get the vasectomy but then while we're in there we

must. Yeah what about for your second marriage? So then that was kind of done. That was solved, that was fixed. So now you don't have to have it? No. Give it anyway. Yeah yeah if you can show me the right gay club to go to afterwards, then I'm in. Sorry Hills. I love that. When you, if you were to, say, have a map, let's plot out

Teddy, I'll call him Theo. Not many, no one does. In fact, I've never heard him be called Theo. I'll call him Teddy then. Ted. Ted. Jack. Francesca. Fran? Never. Frankie? Frankie has been considered. Frankie was our initial idea. She gets a bit of Cheska.

I like that. Cheska sounds like a cocktail. Can I get you a Cheska? Very tangy. Comes with a lot of attitude. When you look at who was easy, who was hard, where do they rank on that graph? Thought it was a map.

Yeah, what do you want, mate? What sort of display would you like? He's a globe. Rotating. Ted was easy, being the first, and when they talk about the second being hard, oh my God, Jack was hard. In what way?

Sleep. What we found out with Jack too, he was just, he was grumpy. He was bloody grumpy. And then we got a baby whisper in and we said, hey, what's wrong with this kid? And she said, he's exhausted. And I said, what do you mean?

She said, he's not sleeping. So then we looked in his mouth and he had the world's biggest tonsils. Oh. Massive. He had a five millimeter gap down his throat. So he couldn't breathe probably. So he had sleep apnea. So I would hold him.

This was the most unnerving thing. You would hold him at night. He's a baby. He's one and a half. You'd hold him trying to get him to sleep. He'd fall asleep and then he'd go, like you would see a 60 year old man who's had far too much to drink,

who's fallen asleep, who's probably got a bit of gout. Or someone who's 33. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So we very quickly then had his tonsils out and everything was fine. It took us a while to realise why he was angry. It's crazy how much impact tonsils and ad noises and stuff have on different impacts they're having. Like I was telling you about Lenny had his out. He speaks completely different. Yeah they do don't don't they? Completely different. Japanese? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's a form of Asian language. Yeah. I can't understand you. But we've had it with all three of them. They all had massive tonsils. And testicles. Yes, massive testicles and tonsils,

we got rid of them all. Yeah. So that was a big game changer. And Francesca's been a hard sleeper as well. From the get-go? Yeah, but I think this feels more tactical than what Jack presented. Jack was just a bad sleeper because he couldn't sleep

and he was tired and grumpy rolling around. Francesca was a little, feels like it's been a little more loaded. Okay, how do you get them back in? I'll get them back in. Yeah, I'm tired, but I'll get them back in. I'll make them work for this. What's this? I've got them right here. What's this? What would you have to do?

So we tried all sorts of stuff. Anyone buy one of those dolls that even had like a heartbeat or a vibration? Yeah, we've got a couple of those. Nothing? That's for me though, not for the kids. So you feel loved by something. But then we hired like Tommy Ivy, who you know, Maddie, from our radio show. Great man. Great man, Thomas Bryan.

He had like a, I'm not saying witchcraft, but someone who would almost perform a level of magic. So she would give us the routine of what you needed to do. And you'd follow that, and then what would happen. It's a rabbit would come out. Is this your car? You would do things where you had to tap on the door. So you'd go, Francesca, it's time to sleep. And you'd go.

And you would do it again. Francesca, it is time to sleep. On the door. It's sleep time now, Francesca. And later on I would be paying the room and a portrait of my present dad going, oh, this feels like one of the great cons. Yeah, did you think, is this a bit for radio?

Like, am I being conned here? No, because- Because Fitzie got something to do with it. It's a pink smoke stardom coming out. And you're talking about an ass. If that didn't work, it would be, Francesca, it's time to sleep. Like a scratch.

And what's the thought process behind that? I don't really know. Like a scratch. Yeah. And what's the thought process behind that? Maybe it was just creating some sort of sonic trigger to make her realise that we're not coming in anymore. But we're here. Yeah, we're here. So the art would be that you would then cut it back to just a... I've never heard of this.

She's good. She's really good. Moore's Code? Yeah. I've never heard of it. She's good. She's really good. Morse code? Yeah. SOS. She's just gone by. But it works.

I mean now she's older so she's sort of four now. So are you still tapping? Not tapping anymore. Tapping out. I'm gone. But do you know what's hilarious? Isn't it fascinating when you're a parent, how well you get to know every sound in your house. So when you're creeping out of a bedroom

after patting her head or holding her hand, you then have to creep out of the house. You know to walk on that side of the hallway. You know where the creak is, like Matt's got a creak all over his face. Really? Ready? Fuck.

Hold on, I'll tap, you'll go to sir. Hang on it. Hang on it. The one time. Yeah, there's the floor. Fuckin' here. It is, you are right. I'll back out.

I know. I know. Guilty. That was the thing though, you would, you'd know every... You know the creek. And then my tap, my shower is on the other side of her wall. So then you have tactical times about when you can shower or you go downstairs to another bathroom.

All those little things. It's fascinating. You pick up, you become like a bat with sonar hearing. Oh, and if you were to be lying there and then your phone will vibrate, what message will come through? Oh my God. Who the hell would do that? Who would call me? there and your phone will vibrate. Yeah. A message will come through. Oh my God. Yeah.

How the hell would do that? How would it call me? How are you and Lisa at this point? Before you got the witch, for want of a better word, into the house? Hard. Really hard, as any parent would know. It's a killer, isn't it? Did it hurt more because it's your third and you think we should have it kind of dialed at this point.

I think one to two was harder. Really? You always hear that. You do hear that. And I think the one is a shock where you have these moments of oh my god what did we do with our time before we had this. What did we talk about? Yeah what and then two is just an extension. No, two is a major shock. And then a mate of mine too, back to Eddie Glenn, the fire hydrant guy, the fire extinguisher, he's like, he thinks he's a wise old man. And he goes, mate, you've got no time when you have two, so what difference does it make when you have three? About 33%.

Yeah, to be honest. It's a mathematical equation. Yeah, yeah, it's a third harder again. So when Francesco, were you taking turns in whose putting her back to sleep? Because was it you had to hold her hand or? There was a lot of hand holding and you would lie even when she was in the cut. You just lie on the floor, wouldn't you? Yeah.

And you just your hand is through the slats of the of the cot and you're just holding. Prison. Were you doing morning radio too? Yeah. Do you know those times where I sat there and it would be midnight and to stop her crying, I don't know if you ever did this, you put your little finger in their mouth

and they just like a pacifier and they just suck on your finger. Hope you washed your hands well. I put a glove on like they did at the hospital. Who are you protecting, her or you? This kid was filthy. Like COVID baby 2020, riddled with rough shit. You just never know.

You just never know where she's been. If she was to give me something to mean I couldn't do riddle time on a Friday, Sydney would be lost. So you'd lie there at midnight and they'd be sucking on your pinky like it was a nipple. You know what I mean? Like a tit.

And you're like, what the fuck is going on? What are we doing with my life? And you think, and they'd stop and you go, can it was a nipple. You know what I mean? Like a tit. And you're like, what the fuck is going on in my life? And you think, and they'd stop and you go, can I move it now? And you'd move it. And then you'd move it and you'd be back in again. So it was just, well you know those times where you think,

I don't know how I'm gonna get through the next 10 minutes. Do I bang my head against the wall or do I just drink? Did anyone say anything at work? Like when you're coming in and you're operating, obviously, like a much lower percentage because you've just got no sleep. Is anyone saying, hey, Whippa, you OK?

No, not really. Duty of care. Do you know what the hardest part is? Like we are on this podcast, it's a relief to share stories. Like it's a relief that you know that I know that we know what you've gone through and what we all do, but it doesn't make it easier. No, it doesn't take away the thick of battle.

And when you're in there and you're going, oh my God, I don't, I feel physically sick. I'm so tired. Yeah. You know, Lisa had some postnatal depression. I'm there trying to do the right thing, where half your job too as a dad, I think, is trying to do the right thing by the newborn. So you're trying to learn at 100 miles an hour,

but then almost play a kick in front of your wife to work out what she's going to need and how I can help for whatever's around the corner. So that was sort of the panic that I think a lot of dads experience as well. That is how I've dropped the tone slightly. No idea. I liked it.

High impact for with the feelings and emotions men go through. Am I right, fellas? Oh yeah. Well said, Whip. Well said, Whip. We talk about the fact that we're not sure whether we go for a third or not,

and it does send a bit of a shiver down my spine when you talk to people who have you know when they reminisce of time in the trenches because for me I've kind of erased all that because you're like it was just fucking hell. Moments that were great. I'll never forget. So I'm gonna after this record message Lauren be like I think we should just reconsider. No, because it's, it's. What's life like now? Sensational.

Okay. Just the best. So tonight I'm going to her school for Wild Night, and I'm dressed as a tiger. Perfect. And I can't wait. That's perfect. Well, it's a Wild Night.

I don't know, they said Wild Night, where you can turn up dressed to something. And I think because, because of radio, I think the staff there at the kindergarten feel like I must be village idiot. So they go, oh, can't wait to see what your dad whippers gonna wear. Now there's an expectation.

So she comes home and says, oh, they're really excited about what you're gonna wear. Can you wear the cat suit? I don't have a choice. If I don't turn up, I'm a disappointment. Simon says, Oh, they're really excited about what you're going to wear. Can you wear the cat suit? I don't have a choice. If I don't turn up, I'm a disappointment. Yeah. The bar set really high. I'm disappointed in my daughter.

So tonight I will be a cat and I can't wait to be a cat. Good luck. With your eldest is nine. Yeah. Wow. At the moment, I'm kind of thinking about the future with Marley. She's turning six next year. That's wild, isn't it?

The kind of conversation she's becoming very aware of the world around us, asking big questions. How is it with Ted? Ted and Jack are sort of a team. So quite often they'll be in the same position regarding questions and there's some fascinating topics. What have you had to tackle? Like the other day we watched, I get sick of watching YouTube shorts, right? I watch a lot of YouTube shorts,

like no, no, no, too much, too quick. I want you to understand concentration span and really engaging in something. So I don't mind YouTube and I say, why don't we, I want it to be a learned experience. So I want adventure built in or I want, how's it made? So we watched how crayons made the other day and where they come From and how many crayons are made I mean, so you got me. It wasn't bad. I mean crayons are amazing

How are they made by the way? Breakdown please When they first launched Crayola was the dominant player back then and still is today. Is it made out of rocks? No What is it that's fat yeah't even remember what it's made out of. What is it? That's fat. Is that fat? Yeah.

It's fat. Isn't that? It's fire lap. Yeah. Yeah, like horse. Yeah. It's made from horse? Yeah, or they'll take a fourth leg off a dog.

If you see a three legged dog. That's 24 crayons right there. Wow. Plus the one he's got still. So next time you use a crayon. Anyway, the prompt came up for the next video. How to make condoms. Okay.

And then Jack said, what's a condom? And Ted knew, I think I'd had a chat to Ted about it for some reason. We've never really shied away from being honest about how things work. And Ted said, oh, yeah, I know that. And said to Jack, it's like a balloon and you put it on your doodle

and it'll stop you from making a baby. That's what I did. Was this the YouTube video or Jack? That's a great explanation. What was his video? Yes. I've seen his one. So then Jack said,

this is where the extension of all these topics is where it gets interesting. So Jack then says, right, well why would you have sex if you didn't want to make a baby? Very valid question. And I said, oh, it's because it can feel good and it can be fun.

It's fun and it's something you do with someone that you love right so then I want to have fun So Ted said well, what does it feel like oh And I said Well, it's like I said second massage Massage I've got a massage the other day with the osteo that we went to. And I went, it's different to that. So, it's different to,

so does it feel like when you go to Tanya, the masseuse, does it feel the same as when you're with Mum? Sometimes. No, no, no. It depends if it's really dark and I don't actually know who it is. Depends how much I've got on my voice. And I don't know how to answer, you know,

the depth of those questions. It's funny the rabbit hole they go down. I have this vivid memory of being so concerned. Can't remember how old I was, but I was like, mom, how do you make sure you don't wee whilst you're having sex? Great question. That's the truth. You just assume't wee whilst you're having sex? Great question. That's just, she would come out.

That was my biggest question. I was like, how does it not? I'm slightly traumatized. There's a school in my area called San Agustin that we used to call them St. Orgasms. Awesome. And I said to my mom, oh yeah, St. Orgasms. And she was like, would you like me to tell you

what an orgasm is? And I was like 12. And I remember this vividly. And I was like, No, please don't. And she can she carried on. Did you know at that time? No, nope. And she carried on to tell me intricately for 45 minutes what an orgasm was. That's a vivid memory. That's why you've turned out like this. April's a lucky lady. She is. Oh my god. She can't, I don't know how else. Because we don't. She still never had an orgasm. No.

Because we then, Ted had said earlier, you know, how, like when we got prior to this, how is the baby made? So I'd explained it, but then he still couldn't get his head around it. So he said, okay, so if it was this room in here, the sperm comes out of your penis, it would go across the floor and then into mommy's

Johnny. We're not traveling that fast. I tell you what, if you can do that, got yourself an industry. So I once again, I had to explain the doodle goes into the Johnny and all of this. So they're always just, I love that you're learning at the same time. So you don learning at the same time.

So you don't have the written down answer. And at the same time, you don't have any prep. Don't know when the question's gonna come. You don't know which direction is gonna turn down. It's a pop quiz all the time. Do you know the other one that I mentioned because they go to a school which has a religious element to it,

God made everything. Now, I don't care what you believe in religious wise, whatever faith might mean to you, there are some basics which I think they need to understand but it's hard to explain. So I want them to have a level of religious education so when they're older, you can make the decision whether you wanna partake and follow by all means. And I think that's healthy for them to understand how other people

might be thinking. So then we did, so we were doing some landscaping in the backyard. So very quickly got to, well, God made the house because God makes everything. Because in school they said God makes everything. So God's make doing the landscaping. Does everyone know the builders are doing the landscaping? The builders God? The builder, no, no, no, no. So God made this house, God made Australia.

You know God did Australia? All right, well, you could say the greater creation of the world was through God. That might be a full... So it gets to this point where, greater creation of the world was through God. That might be a full... So it gets to this point where, and then at the end of dinner, we all sit there and go,

okay, make sure we thank mum for dinner. And they'll say, well, yeah, God did. Yeah, God did. God did. God did dinner in a while. You saw who made dinner. You watched it happen. Thanks mum for making dinner. You watched it happen. Thanks mom for making dinner.

That'd be awesome. I can't wait till Oscar's in his phase. Oscar is already like so painful like that as well. And he's the same age as my like turning six. And he's always been such a good talker from like, he came out screaming. Really? Didn't stop screaming and then just started talking so well. And just his line of questioning,

he's gonna break anyone down in the car and he's continuing to ask you, I go, you've asked a lot of really good questions today, buddy, but can you stop? Isn't it funny how quite often when you say, hey, great question, you're buying yourself time. If you eat your dinner, I'll answer it. And at the moment, you know, we have Christmas on the way.

So the elf on the shelf is out. Oh, yeah. So elf on the shelf is out. Jack said the other day, hang on a minute. Is the elf moving or are you moving the elf? Oh, he's good. And I said, well, I'm not gonna tell you that, but I'm gonna tell you something,

and I'll be very clear about it. Go on. What's going on now is called the magic of Christmas. Oh. So the magic of Christmas can present all sorts of surprises, whether it's the elf moving by itself, the feeling of excitement, the tree in the corner of the room,

it's all the magic of Christmas. LAUGHTER No more questions! I know what you're going to say, it's God! God moved it in. Or did God move the elf? I don't know. Just call me Dad. LAUGHTER

We have to congratulate you, by the way. Yes. You have been campaigning in recent months. I'm talking about 36 months. You're pushed to get the age for youngsters on social media, raised from 13 to 16. I wanted to know, Ash, I weren't quite sure how you initially became involved involved in that campaign.

It was a moment where, if you want all the detail, I was sitting on the toilet and I saw something, a great thinking time on the toilet, and I saw something, and I'd been talking about it with a mate, Rob Galuzzo, for a while, and then I saw something that state by state, there were changes going on in the US, and I just had this sinking moment where I thought,

imagine, like in your wildest dreams, as almost a hypothetical, imagine if we could change the age of kids joining social media platforms from 13 to 16, or that 36 month period. And then I thought to myself, do you know what? If you're not gonna act on a gut feeling like I had that moved me so much in that moment,

shouldn't have said the toilet bit, should I? Shouldn't have said the toilet bit. Then I thought, then what are you ever gonna do? What are you ever gonna stand for? So Rob and I had been talking, and then I said, hey, mate, why don't we do this? Why don't we launch this thing called 36 Months

and drive a campaign to change the age? Because the stories are just horrendous. The statistics about the hospitalization of young teens from self-harm, it's up 275%. Wow. They talk about, I mean, Dove ran a fantastic campaign and it's the impact of social media. And their statistics read that one in two young girls

will experience some psychological damage from the impact of social media. One in two. So we sit here now as parents and we think, imagine if there was a product on the shelf like a shampoo and every second person that used it had some sort of psychological damage. That product wouldn't be on the shelf for a second more. So why does it exist now? And there are so many layers to this. So there's so many layers to the bullying and the creepiness. And the other side of the coin is the attention span

of kids that they're selling and the smart algorithms. But the bullying and the, I mean, social media, I think the best way to describe it, it's an insecurity amplifier. Oh yeah. So, and especially for young teens, it's such a sensitive time going through puberty, trying to find yourself and you know,

sort of what we've been saying is get to know yourself before the rest of the world does. So that's why we launched. When was that? How long ago? That was in May. So it's all happened really quickly. Yeah. So to a point where we've almost been surprised. And what's interesting, 95% of the signatures are mums. Wow. The power of the mother army is massive. One last question before you go. When your children are all grown up, they're no longer at home, when Cheska, Jack, Theo.

Ted, yeah, Ted, yeah. Shit, I got it wrong. So close, man. When they're no longer living with you under the roof. Regime. What's the one thing you'd like them to remember about the house they grew up in? I would like to say fun.

I know that sounds basic, but my dad was an only child, and he said, you know what I love about coming to your house to have dinner and things? It's always just fun. But also the ridiculousness of the games that we make up in the backyard, the little projects that are all designed for bonding experiences.

So recently we built a swing. Every time we build something in the backyard, it costs more than buying the bloody thing itself. But it's not about that. So we built like a timber seat that we hung from the tree. So to do that, we had to buy the timber from Bunnings but it's not about that. And then you have kids in hospital. But it's not about the swing. Like Jack said the other day, for Mother's Day we made flour presses. And Jack said, Dad, I'm not interested in a flour press.

I had to say to him, mate, neither am I. But do you know what it is about? It's about drilling the hole. It's about choosing the flowers, about going on the adventure to Centennial Park to go and pick the flowers we want to choose. And it's about going to buy a frame to put it in for mum and writing some nice words to mum, which we can all do together. That's what it's about. Like we have a tinny that we go fishing in.

It's a 4.2 metre Quintrex. It's nothing flash and it's not about the fishing. It's about getting up and going, hey, Ted, you're the captain today. So you got to check that the rods are there. You need to check the bungs are in the boat. You need to check there's enough life jackets. Put your captain's hat on and we've got enough fuel.

All right, so that's all it's about. It's got nothing to do with whether we catch anything. Have you actually caught any fish? Well, we put a GoPro down. So we always go, we caught something on camera. Yeah. It's attached to the boat. Yeah.

So yeah, we catch something on film. Yeah. My question was, what's the Quintrex? Beautiful brand of tinny, mate. I'll take you out. Oh, great. It's been an absolute pleasure. You're a great man.

Thank you, guys. A great dad. Thank you very I'll take you out. Oh, great. It's been an absolute pleasure. You're a great man. Thank you guys. A great dad. Thank you very much. Thank you for having me guys. Congratulations on a wonderful podcast. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Must be nice. Thank you, Wippa. Appreciate it. What an absolute gentleman. Loves the chat. Loves the chat. Very funny. Very funny guy.

Funnier than I remember. I felt like you guys really bonded over the renovations. Yes. We'll have to cut out 90% of the renovation chat because everyone's like, shut up. We know it. Now you know how I feel. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review. Or you can subscribe.

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