Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #123 Kids Have Grandparents Wrapped Around Their Tiny Finger

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

Mum and Dad have finally found time to reflect on the week that was in the Wicks household.  April catches Prince Oscar living his best life with his slave, Poppa. Ash updates April about what happened at home while she was partying with the girls.  PLUS April answers your questions:  How do you handle conversations with Ash about sharing the parenting workload + life admin? Every couple handles this differently!  How do you tackle conversations or conflicts with your spouse when little ears are around?  How has parenting impacted your social life?  VOTE TO KEEP MATTY J IN THE JUNGLE!  https://10play.com.au/im-a-celebrity-get-me-out-of-here/trialhttps://10play.com.au/im-a-celebrity-get-me-out-of-here/save 2025 Raunchy Ranch Calendar IS STILL ON SALE!  https://budgysmuggler.com.au/products/two-doting-dads-raunchy-ranch  Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can you just give us a clap? No, just... No! Are you copying? Is that the plan? No, this is not a... This is not a... This is not a... You do a clap and I repeat it.

Welcome back to Two Doting Parents. Today, I am Ash and we have... April. For those of you who don't know, April is my wife and the mother of my children, believe it or not. And she's filling in for our friend, Mad Maddie J who is still in the jungle. This is a parenting podcast it's all about the good the bad and the ugly is that what you say? No relatable. Relatable. Do you even listen? You definitely don't listen do you? No I do I do. You do listen I do catch you giggling away. Yeah. Favorite episode?

I did thoroughly enjoy the one where we did all four of us. What about Whippa? Oh, actually that was my favorite guest episode for sure. I knew that. Yeah, yeah, I told you that. You did tell me that. Well, let's start with, last night you and I did a live stream, Gogglebox style, not as an audition,

with Matt's food eating challenge. Do you recall? I do recall. I recall you asking me when I was mid work and I was agreeing to it without realising what I was agreeing to. So thanks for that. I strategically, I didn't even ask you. I told you and you were like mid email.

And you were like, she was fun. And you were like, sounds fun. Yeah, yeah. And then I've left for the day. Yeah. Come back and said, you ready? And you're like, fuck, what are we doing? Well, I actually had a couple of girlfriends screenshot what two doting dads shared.

And I was like, what, what's this happening? What's this? And I was like, oh my gosh, what is happening? What have I agreed to? Whoops. But no, it was fine in the end. It was fun. Yeah, it was fine in the end. It was fun. Yeah, it was good.

It was fun to watch Matt suffer. Go, try it. Oh! Oh! You got this, Mattie. You're doing so well. Oh! Oh!

20 seconds. Oh! Oh! All right, so first of all, Mattie did the trial, a tucker trial with Reggie and Max. Yes. Max is the TikToker and Reggie is going blind. I think she's more than that. She's a mum. She's going blind.

Yeah. Thoughts on the food initially? Do you know what? I feel like they've done worse things in the jungle. I saw a heap of comments on the Tik Toks, like the UK, it must be UK people being like, UK people. The people from the UK saying, oh, this is way worse than the UK one. This is way worse. Like it was, like it was better. I don't know. I think when you've got the liquid, like there was a smoothie, there was a cappuccino.

I feel like that would be a lot easier. Yeah. They used to do a lot. I think because they used to exploit more animals, but now Robert Irwin's on that. I agree with you. Yeah they used to do a lot. Well I think because they used to exploit more animals but now Robert Irwin's on there. I agree with you. Yeah. So the first one they had was the bed bugs. Are they really bed bugs? They're huge. You would know if they're in your bed. Yeah they're not bed bugs but to be fair they did look a little bit like oats. So I feel like if he just changed his mindset. Yeah he actually munched it out pretty quick. The next one he had was the Crapuccino. It

looks like a delicious frappe of some description. McFrappe, if you will. Are we supposed to buy McDonald's? No. Lamb tongue and esophagus with sour milk. Thoughts? And we've got one here for you, Noda. I just wonder how they can drink that and not get sick later. Like, how much is it truthfully what they're saying? That's what I want to know. Get the producers in. Oh, are you calling conspiracy? I'm calling conspiracy.

I like it. I like it. Matt said, and to quote Matt, it tastes like I'm eating shit. Perfect. Good. You'll be used to it. And then the last one was a combined meal they all ate, which was a brekkie bowl, which Matt and I quite often when we do record eat a brekkie bowl from the cafe down the road. So he would have been stoked when this came out.

It has horse anus, chicken heart, beef tripe and liver. What surprised me in this one is the fact he chose the anus. He openly chose an asshole. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know why. What was the last one? The chicken liver.

Beef tripe, whatever the fuck that is. Why do I get challenged? Oh, that's the one that looked like avocado. Yeah, yeah. Imagine that sliding down your gullet. Easier. The horse anus looked a little bit like a dim Yeah. Imagine that sliding down your gullet. Easier. The horse anus looked a little bit like a dim sim.

It did actually. I was thinking dim sim, dim sim, dim sim, dim sim. And that probably was moist enough to swallow it all in one go. To think it was a dim sim. So would that mean that he'd poop out an asshole out of his asshole? You could say that. Very good. I thought they did really well.

They got all 13 stars. 13, yeah, they got all 13 stars, which surprisingly, you do recall when we gave Matt a century egg. Yeah, considering how much he failed at that, I'm actually surprised. I did better than he did. He ate the eel really well,

but the century egg was like a dirty pond. And they bring one out for Max last night, and they look like they poached it. ate the eel really well, but the century egg was like a dirty pond. And they bring one out for Max last night and they look like they poached it. It looked like it had a coating of some sort of flavour. It didn't look like the one we had. Ours was still... Yours was brown. It was in the shell still. That's why I think they might have cooked it.

So Jess potentially, our producer, put us at risk with a raw century egg. More so. Thank God we're still here. Yeah. Anyway, I thought they did really well. They did. Considering we did call Laura and Marley midway through the challenge. Marley was still awake, lucky her, and she thought it was disgusting, as she would. But she was holding up compared to the first time where she cried a lot.

That's true. The first time she watched him. I feel like she's sort of used to him now. Yeah, she's probably watched him every night now. Yeah, enough of that. Just go and vote for Matt, please. As much as I want him back, I'm enjoying these episodes where he's not here. I get to look at April, which is far better. It's your lucky day. It's my lucky day. April, I do want to start with one thing with you. Of course. I want to ask you something and what your thoughts are on this. Dun dun dun.

Dun dun dun dun. Oscar and Poppa's relationship. Aw. Describe it for me. How would you describe it? Poppa is Oscar's slave, if anything. Best friend. Best friend who's a slave.

Just describe what you saw this morning. For those in his school holidays, Papa is April's dad, Frank, and he looks after Oscar on a Wednesday during a school holiday. And today's Wednesday, and he picks him up from our place. April was?

I was driving back home because I dropped Macy off and I drove past Poppa and Oscar and there's Oscar window down, all the way down, letting the breeze in his hair with his arms behind the back of his head, just looking out the window on his way. Living his absolute best life. Yeah. Waited until he fed grapes. Yeah. He looked like royalty. He did. He is the first grandchild. He's got first grandchild syndrome.

Yeah. Where he gets everything he wants right. And parents out there will agree that their kids' grandparents just spoil the shit out of them. I mean, as they should really. But like with Oscar, it's mental. Yeah, it's next level what that guy gets. Yeah, and also Macy, Papa always just carries Macy everywhere, like a trophy. Yeah, her feet can't touch the ground.

When we're at his place, her feet do not touch the ground. He's either holding her, she's asleep on him, or she's sitting up on a kitchen bench. And he always serves her up chocolate milk in a bottle. Oh my God. She's a lucky gal. The warm chocolate milk. Even Oscar though, gets the warm chocolate milk and I look over, he's eating a Lamington.

Yeah. He's going for 10 swims a day. He's just living his absolute best life. He's a lucky boy. They both are. They're very lucky. So I'm fully expecting Oscar to come back with all of his bad habits.

He comes back so moody. Yes. He's never tired. No, the kid doesn't tire out. He doesn't tire. No. So like, how do you parent that when he gets it? He's full of sugar.

Yeah. He's angry. He's a right head. That's what he is. Maybe we should take him to the gym. Yeah, probably. He needs to of sugar. He's angry. He's a right head. That's what he is. Maybe we should take him to the gym. Yeah, probably. He needs to do something. Maybe we should get like a treadmill.

A treadmill, just put him on there. Like a little hamster wheel for him. Yeah, I'd be cute. Yeah, cute. We could always, I mean, how do you reverse? We have told Poppa, but Poppa lies a lot. I think we're just so grateful that we have Poppa to take him for a whole day, if not two days.

Yeah, that's true. I don't really want to tell him off because then he'll be like, well, fuck you. Also, it makes Poppa's life so much easier. He doesn't have to run around after him. And he's got a couple bad hips and stuff. So when he gets home what we'll do, and I think what we do is we just go no screen time, get the puzzles out, see how we go with that, and then

hopefully he goes to sleep. Yeah, no I agree. It's the worst when he naps as well, in the car. Yeah, then you know he's awake for five more hours. Yeah, remember when we were living in the old house and a couple of times he'd get home, Poppa would come and drop him off and he was asleep in the car. And it's like five o'clock and you're like, oh, for God's sake, ruin the rest of the night. Anyway. But yeah, I think it's a hard one to kind of know what to do because you want to tell Poppa, don't do this, don't do that. that but then it's like you're so grateful that whatever whatever makes

everyone happy at the time. Sometimes look I'm guilty of sometimes still just doing the easy way out I think we all are. I've seen you and your hungover days passing out the phone. We're not so perfect parents after all. I know, I know. I do. But yeah, when I'm a bit hung, I'm like, here's the fun. Anything goes. Anyway, I wanted to touch on that because I thought it was really funny this morning that you witnessed Oscar in full Prince Oscar mode. Yeah, it was Prince. Prince Eater.

It was his popper, the chauffeur. And the thing is that today, like we don't see him all day until this afternoon. So I would assume that he would have like a little bell. Poppa! And he'll come home with all these new toys or he would have eaten far too much chocolate and ice cream. And watch way too much YouTube, which we say no to. Yeah.

So just everyone listening, April and I have implemented the no YouTube rule in this house because he gets so aggressive. He turns into like a roid rager after like, what is it about YouTube? Is it just the algorithm of YouTube that just gets him riled up? I don't know. But in saying that, Macy, I don't think it affects as much. But Oscar, it affects. He turned into Oscar the Grouch. It gets his alter ego after watching YouTube. So we've banned it in the house, except for drawing videos, which we're fine with, and they've got to be on the TV. No single screens anymore. We've changed. Yeah.

Who would have thought? I know. People used to say, like, got to get rid of it, got to get rid of it. And we're like, hell no. It was so easy. But I've noticed his mood is better. He does. They do sleep better, I would say, because they used to wake up going, oh, I want to watch YouTube. Like, it was like, yeah, they wake up. They did a puzzle this morning before doing anything.

Look at us. Look at us go. Nailing parenting. Five years in. We got it. I know. At least it was five and a half years. He's about to go to school where they have nothing

but iPads now. Little too late. You had a couple of evenings out last week. I did. You did. I had the bath duties to do when you were gone. Dinner, bath, bedtime routine, into bed. That seems pretty straightforward.

You'd think so. You'd think so. What happened? So we completed the bath routine. We've gone through, like I just said, the food, the bath, and then I put them to bed. I've come out here to finally relax. And you know, they share a room, so they chatter,

whatever, it's not a really big deal. I turned the hallway light on accidentally, and I tried to turn it off. And you know what Macy's like, once I turn the light on, she's like, leave it on! For some reason, as intrusive as that light is. And I wasn't gonna argue, I was like, whatever. Anyway, they hear him talking, hear him talking,

then I hear this, daddy! And I was like, go to sleep. Just like we're doing on a live stream last night. Just like, go to sleep. Go to sleep, don't make me come in there, all the usual rah rah rah. And then Macy's like, daddy! Like, they were scared of something.

Oh no. And I was like, what the fuck. So I've walked up there and I've gone like what is it? Like I'm over it at this stage. I've been in bed for like half an hour still not asleep. What is it? And they're like that on the ground. So the light has lit up over the top of a toy. Oh. That's created a bigger shadow. I'll show you the toy. I feel like we've all witnessed that as a child thinking something was massive. We still witness that as adults. You think, is that my coat?

Is that the... what's the boogie monster? The boogity monster? The boogity monster. It's the boogity monster. Trying to figure out what they were trying to tell me, and they're pointing down, pointing down, and I've looked down and there was a shadow of like a dog-like figure, but like an angry dog-like figure.

And I thought Iggy's not in here. Iggy's the family dog for those who don't know. And I looked down and I was like, what is making that shadow? And it was about two foot shadow, pretty big. Oh my gosh. Look at that. It's a tiny little Lego dog.

I was gonna say, is it Lego? Aww. It's a centimetre in size. Yeah. But it's a centimeter in size. But it's created this shadow that scared the shit out of them. So I was like, look, this is it. This is it, trying to explain, like, don't be scared. Anyway, I then had to spend the next five to 10 minutes

checking the whole room for creatures. So I'm under the bed, I'm in the cupboard, I'm behind the curtains, I'm in the cupboard, I'm behind the curtains, check the next room over, check our room, check the hallway, no other creatures. And I was like to Maisie, can I turn that light off now? And she was so happy for me to turn that light off. Turn it on! That's it. Very cute. It's very cute. It's a three foot shadow of it. Anyway, anyway, I have something to show you because we have been trying,

the last couple of weeks, Laura and I, we were talking about potty training for Macy. And Macy is, she's potty training to wee, but she still poops in a nappy. And it got me thinking about if we took the nappy off, because Laura's advice was get rid of the nappy off, because Laura's advice was, get rid of the nappy, no undies. I listened.

Yeah. Which I think is great advice. We haven't followed it, because Macy's loving her underpants. Yes. She loves weaning, I know that much. And I was like, okay, well, if she's going to start to poo with no undies on, what's that going to look like for us? I think that theory of no underpants is for we's.

I think when it comes to poos, they definitely know the difference. I say we wanna continue with that. What would it look like if we went cold turkey? And I've found a video. Oh. I think I know what it would look like, and I'll show you.

This shit just really pissed me the fuck off. Because why the fuck would you shit in my SHOE?! Oh! In her shoe! No! Look at that thing! Surely that's a dog shit. That is not a human shit. That is not a dog shit. It's got human consistency.

Oh my gosh. My fear is that if we take Laura's advice, that's going to happen. And do you know what would be worse is if you went, you didn't know and you went and put the shoe on. This is true. But I feel like if anyone's shoes are going to get shat on in this household, it's yours. Mine are neatly put away every day. Put away? Bullshit. If I spot a pair of shoes...

Oh yeah, if I spot a shoe. I dare you. I dare you. I'll find one. Yeah. Point proven. I have picked up your shoes before. You're not perfect. Oh, once in a blue moon maybe. Wow. How is this turning against me? Alright. She would poop in my shoe.

She would shit in your shoe. No she wouldn't. She would poo in your shoe. No, she wouldn't. She would poo in your slipper or something. Which honestly, although you've got new slippers now, your old slippers would be doing this. She can poo in the old slippers. I don't wear them anymore. But yeah, my worst nightmare is to not be able

to find the poo. Oh, it's like there's nothing worse than stepping on dog poo and like. Yeah, stepping on human poo. Stepping on human poo is probably worse. Imagine that squish between your toes. I don't want to imagine. Go on, imagine it. Close your eyes and think about it.

No, definitely not. April, I did warn our listeners that you would be on and I did ask them for some questions to ask you. We've got a couple because we could be here all day asking you questions. A lot of people want to know about your diet. I feel like we've been over that. For those who don't know what we're talking about,

April and I went on a holiday and April got a photo with her stomach out and she had a very evident six pack that no one knew about. Surprise! Surprise! Here's a six-pack and a lot of the internet went crazy and a lot of people were saying what is how did you do that how did you do that and she said what did you say? Abs are made in the

kitchen babes. That was my exact quote. Yeah and what should go to ab meal? Just do anything with protein. Yeah I'm'm yeah, I'm no qualified person. And I do not. I'm very balanced in the sense I will eat like a healthy meal, but then I'll be more than happy to have an ice cream after it. Or a KFC. KFC, 100%. Zinger.

It's balanced. There's no strict diet. Somehow I've managed to mention McDonald's and Zinger in this episode. We'll take either one. Anyway, we'll get into these questions. Okay. I've managed to mention McDonald's and Zinger in this episode. We'll take either one. Anyway, we'll get into these questions. Okay. I've just got two. Oh, that's fine. Yeah. Is that only two people asked? No. No, thank you for all the listeners that, and April has read your questions and if there's any that she feels like responding to, she will. But there was two that we thought otherwise we'd be here all day. We've got to let the people get back to their days.

All right, fair enough. This one's from Bree. I would love to know how she handles conversations with Ash about sharing the parenting workload plus life admin. In your eyes, how do you think we handled? It didn't come easy, but I think where our communication had to improve. And one major factor of that is getting a Google family calendar.

That is a game changer, well for me anyway. You've done nothing but coach me for 12 months on how to use this fucking calendar. And I, look, I've gotten better. You have. I have gotten better. The life admin revolves around that calendar. In terms of the parenting workload

pretty split well to be honest I Feel like I'm okay to do what I can do because obviously I work from home So I have more time if you're running out the door But I also think again with the open communication I don't have any issue being like, Ashton, can you do this? Is that right? Do you think I do that?

Or Ashton, can you get up and do this for me? No, I think you're more passive than that. I'm kind. I'm not passive. No, you're more like, it would be nice. No, that's your persona of me online. But in real life, I'm actually like, hey, could you do this? This is exactly what that persona would say. It was like, I am not like that.

I'm not like the person you portray. What I am like is like, hi darling, can you please help me with this? No, you're not. You don't. So you're not as direct as you think you portray. What I am like is like, hi darling, can you please help me with this? No, you're not. You don't. So you're not as direct as you think you are. Oh really? You're pretty direct. Yeah.

But like there are some times where you huff and puff trying to get my attention to be like, oh, I'm working over here. Get up and help me without actually doing it until I'm like, do you need help? And like, yeah, get up, help me without actually doing it until I'm like, do you need help? And like, yeah, get up, help me. Yeah, but I do feel like I also feel like we've come to like an understanding, like if someone's doing chores around the house, someone else can be on the kid duty, like referring sort of thing. Yeah, yeah. Very rarely.

Like I see other couples have the argument where it's like, I thought you were watching them. I thought you were watching them, especially when something happens. I mean, we've got so much backyard now we aren't used to. We're sort of like, all right, well, if you're out there watching them from the balcony and they're doing their thing, then it sort of gives me a cue to be like quickly tidy up what they've done in here. Especially if it's around dinner time, which it usually is. And then someone, you'll sit out there, I'll come back and forth and clean up or whatever, or vice versa. Usually like, it's, it goes unspoken that like, unless the place is like already clean and dinners in the oven,

there's not much more I can do than sometimes I'll come and just sit out with you and watch as well or I'll sit here or vice versa. I love how you're always sitting. You're like, I'll sit here. I'll sit there. I'll sit here. I don't, I don't often sit. Oh, shut up.

Oh my God. I was just giving us as a couple, compliment in that we we pick up on those cues, but I do like to sit. Yeah. It's a dad thing. Yeah. I do like to I like to lay down even better than I like to sit. I like when you're on your phone and you're like I'm working. I'm working. I am working. I'm looking for inspiration as well. I know that's the thing. It's hard because that's what you are doing for work. Inspiration, apparently. Fuck. But I know I just feel like we've kind of, you know, we've been at it for five years now.

I feel like we do have some sort of rhythm. Yeah. I do this, you do that. Sometimes it gets thrown out. Yeah. Sometimes it gets, there's always a variable, but yeah, I'd agree with you. All right. Should we move on to the next one?

Please. Celeste, how do you tackle conversations or conflicts with your spouse when little ears are around? Oh, I feel like that happens all the time and I'm like, Ashton, the children are here. When have you ever said that to me? Well, I just feel like if we're talking about something, because you just know Oscar. Oscar has like listening ears. And I'm just like. I think we don't often have a stern conversation with each other in front of them very often.

Like, I would agree. Yeah. We might have more of a conversation like, wouldn't say heated, like a more of an adult conversation when they're asleep or they're not here or we'll just take little jabs at each other that they don't understand. Mainly me taking jabs at you. Or when you talk through the kids, it's like, daddy didn't want to do this. Oh, is that what mummy said?

Is that? Yeah. Oh, so mummy let you climb onto the back of the couch. Yeah. Oh, so mommy let you climb onto the back of the couch, huh? Yeah. Or you do that thing where you might be distracted and the kids are doing something that they shouldn't be doing, you haven't quite cottoned on yet, but I've walked in and cottoned on, I'm like,

babe, will you just let me, like, oh, shit, sorry. And I'll do the same thing where I'm just like doom scrolling and they're like at each other's throats, you're like, oh, shit, yeah, sorry, yeah, sorry, sorry. So again, I've seen couples fire up at each other in front of their kids and monkey see, monkey do, I think. Yeah. There are times that I have, I have raised my voice

about something I'm frustrated in front of everyone. I do apologize to Oscar as well. I was gonna say the same thing. I feel like if we've ever raised our voices, we usually come back to them and say, hey guys, sorry, mommy and daddy were a little bit angry just before, but we're okay now. Yeah.

And it doesn't happen very often. Why's my nose getting longer? Also, like with the swearing, I never really watch what I say. Like my mouth, I do a little bit more mainly because Lola and Marley are like, give me 10 pushups and I can't do another pushup. It hurts. Yeah, no, we're terrible with swearing, I reckon. We don't really. But they both know what's bad.

I was going to say, I feel like after we swear, as well, we tell them that is a word that you can only use as an adult or private. When you're alone. No, I double down on it. I'm fuck, fuck. No. Yeah. And like Oscar is very much like knows not to say that word. And he, the times he has said it, they've been under his breath and about something. I'm never, I'm really like, what'd you say? He's like, no, nothing. Like he knows that he shouldn't have said it. Macy, on the other hand, she just thinks it's just funny because she's at the age where she's like, oh fuck. And then Oscar's like, she did it. She did it right there. I actually caught Oscar, or not caught him. He told me the other day, he said, Macy said

the F word. And I was like, what? What do you mean? What did she say? And he said, yeah, shut up. I was like, what? Close. Yeah, I was like, that's probably all right, buddy. Like. What about when you were, the other day you were trying to get him to explain what the rude finger meant? Cause who, oh, Poppa.

Poppa apparently taught him what the rude finger. Poppa taught him the rude finger. Oh, fuck. I think he showed me just like quietly on the side and he was like, and I was like, do you know what you're doing? And he goes. He's like, yeah. He goes, And then like, obviously he put it away and he's like, yeah, Poppa. No, I don't think he said who he's like, is that's the rude finger. I was like, how do you know that?

And he said, Poppa showed me. I'm surprised he threw Poppa under the bus because usually he's the one he won't snitch on. Yeah. He's going to be like, who gave you that? And he'd be like, I don't know. I think it's more of Oscar may have just been holding that finger up and Popper's probably corrected him saying, you can't do that. Popper's driving around town. I can't imagine Popper going around town doing all... He's driving around town going, fuck it.

Not our Popper. Yeah, I feel like our kids, some, like we just tell them there's a time and place. Yeah, like when you locked us in the bathroom and we're like, now you can swear. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we should do that again with Macy. Fuck that'd be funny. Yeah, we do it with Macy. Because she just thinks it's all fun.

Yeah. Like she'll be like. I don't think she'd say anything to be honest. She. Yeah, I don't think. She's just so sweet. I don't know. Yeah, we'll have to do it. We'll have to try. Anyway, they're the two

questions we have which I think we're pretty in-depth. I was gonna say there was nothing juicy or spicy about those. No, no. This one, oh actually there's one more from an Ash as well. Would you say you're satisfied with our love with Ash's love making? Wait it's from Ash or from Anonymous? No, I made it up. That's so mean. It's from Anonymous and it says, on a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with Ash's love making? We'll take this offline.

Okay, that needs improvement. We do a segment April here called Hack or Fuck That. Usually one of us shows the other. But in this case, I haven't seen this and you haven't seen this. Okay. So what we're looking at here is a mum who has tried to set white noise in a child's room, but accidentally played the song from Disclosure White Noise on loop for two hours. On loop. It's just been going on for two hours. And that's the song that's like, white noise, white noise.

And it's like full disco. Very good. It worked. Yeah. I'm all for it. It's funny, like with White Noise, we're a White Noise house. And Matt's never had White Noise in their house or anything like that. Ever. Ever. No. And some people, Matt's never had white noise in their house or anything like that. Ever. Ever, no. And it's like, why? I said to him, why?

And he was like, we just never, it's the best. Like the lightning, the storms, the kids haven't- Yeah, they haven't noticed it. They haven't noticed it. Well, in saying that, we've had the fan on and that's probably noisier than the white noise. But I find that like, I'm so accustomed and used to it now. It's just like it's part of our house. I feel like when we lose it, I'll be sad.

Yeah. Yeah. When they don't when they say they don't want it anymore. Yeah. It's kind of like, well, hang on. We've listened to the same song, same noise every night for five and a half years so far. It'll be the end of an era. Very good. I think that's a hack. Anything that gets a kid to sleep, I'm sweet with. So five and a half years so far, it'll be the end of an era. Very good. I think that's a hack. Anything that gets a kid to sleep, I'm sweet with. It's almost as good as our two meditations

competing against each other each night. Oh yeah, so April and I, along with the white noise that's in our house, April and I both have sleep music. I think we just adopted it from having the white noise on because we lived in units for so long with Oscar mainly that the whole house just was like you walk into a house and it's like all the time it's just it's like an AM radio station.

And then we were like, oh, you know, just some sleep music. I think for a while there we had one where we just shared it. And then you've gone more into the meditation side. Like chakras. Oh God. It's, and mine's more just like piano sleep music, but the thing is your meditation lasts for an hour. It's three hours.

What? Yeah. But the talking only lasts for an hour. Talking probably an hour. But you're out cold in like two minutes But the talking only lasts for an hour. Talking probably an hour. But you're out cold in like two minutes. I know, it's great. You're like it's sleeping next to a dead body. And you are out.

And so I've got to spend the next hour listening to this woman carry on about different energy chakras. But also I find with those, those people, also I find with people who are really into that and the chakras. Like me? They really, in depthly describe where your chakra is, like no one's gonna,

if they don't, no one's gonna believe them. So here's an example, they're like, so she's like, and your third chakra is in, so in your sternum, just below the breastbone, in between both pectoral muscles, slightly underneath the cartilage of the human sternum. Listen to my meditation, haven't you? Why don't you just say it's in your chest?

Do you think that someone's gonna be like, okay, if it's in your chest, where is it? I'm just gonna disagree with you because I quite like it. It's like gonna be like, okay, if it's in your chest, where is it? I, I, I'm just going to disagree with you because I quite like it. It's like, they're like, okay. And also how many chakras does one person have? I've listened to it so many times that they're like, and I don't go to sleep that easy, it takes me forever and I'm listening to it. You're welcome.

That you get mine as well. And at the top of your head is your 12th chakra. And I'm like, she's just rattling off the human anatomy, essentially. It's great. It's all mindfulness. What? You're all fast asleep. You're story-snoring and I'm listening to someone being like, and your sixth chakra is at the base of your butthole and it slightly edges up towards the shaft of

your penis. And I'm like, fucking hell, how many chakra energy and they're all energy chakras and then they finish with, and if you look up, there is your final chakra hovering above you like a guiding light. Definitely doesn't say that. It does. I reckon it must be specific to mothers. Oh, really? Yeah. I've never gotten that far.

You literally have never gotten that far. It gets to a point where it's like street noise, traffic noise. Nothing will wake you except for the sound of your newborn child. I'm like, shut up! Anyway, your newborn child has 55 chakras. Let's begin. Let's begin. Or it's like, now start at your head and work your way down.

It's just how you say it. Maybe I should. Maybe you should be the chakra talker. Maybe. This doesn't work out. If this doesn't work out then that sounds good to me. We know where we're heading. Let's finish April as much as I love having you on the podcast.

We need to finish. We have a list of questions that we do every week. So this comes from Shannon. How has parenting impacted your social life? With everything that comes with being a busy parent, what do you do for self care or to carve out some time for yourself? So it's kind of directed at you and me, like what we do.

Me, nothing. I think the first couple years, or even just the first year at least, it's very hard to have a social life. Yeah, I find that new parents and parents of kids like that are under two and their kids aren't all like just I say under one and also I think like when you do have your kids at first you find yourself doing them things because one it passes the time and two you can palm your baby off on your mates.

Yes, but I do think it's trickier at that age. I don't know, like if you're like for us, for example, and we were, you know, we wanted them to have their sleeps at a certain time. So it's trickier that, but I feel like as they're older, like our kids are three and five now, and we have such a good community of friends who also have three and five year olds.

So our social life is just getting everyone together at a pub, at a pub or at a house and just making it work. Kids are happy, parents are happy. But then I think also we are pretty good at managing, like you going out with your friends, me going out with my friends, and just making sure that you get that social cup filled. Yeah, I think like, I feel like it doesn't need to be 100% balanced because blokes go out more than women, like the mum usually most of the time. Well, you're interested in going out more.

Yeah, as well. I'm quite happy to be home. It also depends on your personality, but like, yeah, we're pretty good. Like, as well. It also depends on your personality, but like, yeah, we're pretty good. Like, we neither of us take the piss, but the other also were, I noticed the other day when you were going out, you were like, oh, I've got two things in two nights. And it's like, that's like, I couldn't care less. Like, as long as I know what I'm up for, if you just say to me, hey, I'm actually going to go out now. I'm like, Oh, wow. But like, yeah, I feel like if we, it's important that you go and I go and we go separately.

And then we also do the things with the kids and other, cause then also, you know, kids, they, they've got friends too. They want to socialize as well. And it's much easier to wear them out when there's a bunch of them. Like, and I love how a lot of pubs and stuff now are becoming way more... Family friendly. What do you do for self-care, though? What do I do? Yeah.

Drink? No. Look, you know me, it changes so often. I feel that I'm on a rollercoaster all the time, so I don't really know what, I don't really know what helps me self care. Sometimes I'm really motivated to run and stuff and that makes me feel good. But then sometimes I'm like now

where I don't feel like doing anything because those things make me miserable. Running. Yeah, running. I surfed, I pailed out. I was like, I fucking hate this. But it's just my mindset at the moment. And it'll come back.

I just need to not be so hard on myself. That's you personally. That's just me personally. I can't have a routine because I'm just so bored. I get so bored. And I'm like, if you say to me, OK, you're going to have to wake up at 5 o'clock every day as part of your routine.

And if you wake up at 5 o'clock every day as part of your routine. And if you wake up at five o'clock every day at the end of the week, you get a hundred thousand dollars. I'd be like, fuck that. I'm not getting that. Do that. No, but that might be like, oh, fuck it. Fuck that. Cause it's like, it's just too repetitive for me.

I get bored. I don't mind just like a nap. True. That's a bit of self care. Yeah. I nap a lot at the moment and I might be, maybe I've got chronic fatigue, I don't know. Maybe. But I am enjoying that.

I love it so much when I get to nap with Macy. I love that so much. So it's sort of like a bond, but then it's self care and wake up and she's really happy that I'm there and I'm happy she's there. I did catch you like when I walked past the other day and you're pretty much out cold and her little arm was on your head, like resting.

Like it's okay daddy. Yeah love that love that. So that's I mean that's that's me. What about what do you do for self-care? I think I'm pretty good with self-care. Gym is your thing. Yeah yeah. I noticed the difference between you training and not training that day. The days I train, the days I don't train. No you're not like you just you've got way more of a pep in your step when you've been to the gym. Yes. And it's not whether you're cranky or you're happy.

You're just way more motivated to, you know, do anything. Anyway, April, before we do go, again, a reminder, please vote for Matty as much as I want him back. But you can vote for him 10 days, 10 times a day on the 10 Play app. Also, we've got a couple of calendars left. All the money from those calendars goes to Rise Up, which is to support victims of domestic violence.

And on that note, April, if you've enjoyed this episode, please, I'm not talking to you. Like I said, do you want me to like the episode? You like it. Leave a comment. Hey, let's review. I've actually done, no, I think I did. I think your first ever episode,

I wrote a review on Apple. Yeah, was it the one that was like, this sucks? Yeah, probably, that sounds about right. Leave a review. Get a real job. Get a real job, we're hungry. Leave a review, five stars if you can. Otherwise, join us on socials. We have the Instagram, which is two doting dads.

We have TikTok, which is two dototing Dads, believe it or not. And we have Facebook group. Facebook group. The Facebook group, which is shocker, To Doting Dads. That's where we streamed the last challenge. And if Matt's in another challenge, maybe we'll stream it again. We'll see. Other than that, April, would you like to say anything?

Thanks for having me. No worries. Thanks for coming on. Goodbye. Bye. I need you closer. Sorry, babe. Is that better?

I don't know. Hang on. Sorry, Jess. One sec. Just keep talking. Just talk. Just do the alphabet. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, SOPQRSTUV. Very good. You were fine the whole time. I just wanted to judge you a bit. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia

and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.