Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #129 It's Finally Caught Up To Me

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

It's Ash's turn to update Matty J on what's been happening while he's been in the throws of the jungle.  During a tiny blip of focus, Ash has decided to test for ADHD, which has inevitably kicked off the process of diagnosis.  While the process has been confronting, Ash quickly discovers why being diagnosed is worthwhile.   Meanwhile, an Aussie TV star has saved Matt's life, and Ash feels forced into doing this one thing at the park.  Keep in mind this chat mentions thoughts of self-harm; here are some helpful resources in Australia: Alcohol and Drug Foundation (ADF): Offers information, advice, and services to help with addiction recovery. Website: adf.org.au Beyond Blue: Provides support for mental health issues, often linked with addiction. Helpline: 1300 22 4636 Website: beyondblue.org.au Lifeline: Offers crisis support for individuals in need. Helpline: 13 11 14 Website: lifeline.org.au Each organisation offers resources, hotlines, and guidance on seeking help and managing recovery. 2025 Raunchy Ranch Calendar IS STILL ON SALE!  https://budgysmuggler.com.au/products/two-doting-dads-raunchy-ranch  Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you know one thing I hate at a kid's park? Just guess. Meth addicts. No, I like them there. They're good fun. Okay, what do I hate? What do you hate? Can I have one more guess?

Yes. What would Ash hate? Should I just get to it? Bubblers that don't work. No, I hate the flying fox. When you go to a park that has a big flying fox, have you seen those? They're great.

Great fun. But I always get roped into the one parent who keeps going back and forth, but for not just my kid, all the kids that join in. What do you mean? So annoying. How are you getting roped into that? Okay, so I go with Oscar. One second. Welcome back to To Doting Dads, I'm Matty J.

And I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad. And the real lady. And look, we don't give any advice, but what we do do is talk about flying foxes. Continue. We do do indeed talk about flying foxes. Continue. We do do indeed talk about flying foxes. So Oscar, just bear with me. Oscar, daddy I want to go on the flying fox.

No problems. Go over, help him on to the flying fox. It goes down. You got to bring it back up. Usually you'd bring it back up for the next parent to help their child on. Sure. But for some reason, every time I do it with Oscar, I go to take it back, there's no other parent, and there's like 10 kids. And then they all can't reach it.

So I've got to go back and forth and back and forth. Feel like the age of a child to use a flying fox without parental supervision is around about five. Anything under concerning? Anything under that, I'm looking for consent from a parent. Would you hand a four-year-old a flying fox, unaccompanied by an adult? Yes.

You got it, man. You got it. It's a harsh world out there. These kids need to learn. Yeah, but the thing is, why can't other parents come over and help me? They're just like, it's okay. You can do it.

Because they're like, oh my God, look at that good Samaritan dad out there who's relaying back and forth. I hate that. You have set this up. You set the standard. I hate that so much. I just wanted, I had two kids.

If I wanted to do that for 10 kids, I would have had 10 kids. Fuck the other kids. Stuff them. Just push them off, you reckon? No, we're just like, another parent. They don't. I've been stuck like all of Christmas holidays we would go to this one park called Flying Fox Park. If you go to a Flying Fox Park with your kid the expectation is that you have to help your kid on

the Flying Fox. Not a random other parent right? It's unlike you to be so caring. I don't care. It's just I wouldn't expect you to be the one being like, look at that idiot dad helping out all these other kids who he doesn't even know. Yeah, that's me. It's weird. How has this happened? It just happened too many times in the heat of summer. But just tell Oscar, like that's the thing, then I have to deprive my kid from going on it. So now Oscar's like, can we go on? I'm, oh soon, soon, soon, soon, soon, we're doing something else. Because I know, as soon as I go over there, Timmy, Jimmy, Sally and Susie are going to come up and I'm doing laps of the flying fox. Let him, let him be, let him suffer. Well then they're

just going to stand there. That's life bro, That is life. Flying Fox Park is really just a lesson for what life is like in the real world. I don't know if you're on my side or not. I don't know either. I had a little session at the park. Hang on. I got to sneeze one sec. Aeroplane. It was a Cessna. That was good.

Bless you. I reckon it was a Cessna. You are autistic. You're a divergent actually. Which we'll get into later. Before we do that. Okay. Before we do that. Do you remember Tom Williams? From? Better Homes and Gardens. Tom Williams. Very handsome man.

What I recall, very handsome. Gorgeous. He's a bit older than us, right? Now he's, I think he's, let me just check, can confirm that his age, he's 54. Still gorgeous? Stunning. Show me. He's a carpenter.

Imagine that rocking up to your house to fix your back debt. Like hire a hubby. Yeah. I imagine. I know what sort of person he would be on a night out. You know what you're getting right there. What are you getting? Don't disrespect him. I'm not.

What are you getting? I don't want to say it because I would disrespect him. He's a loveliest man. Oh, I bet. But the haircut, he's probably a really lovely guy. That haircut back in the day screamed one thing to me. We all had haircuts like that. He has a bit of a mohawk kind of cut. But he saved my life.

He looks like Ben Cousins. On the, he does look like Ben Cousins. And we all know what he was about. How dare you? How dare you compare the two? He saved my life. I was at a park. Literally or just?

No, not literally. I was back in the old stomping ground around Bondi, decided Thursday, daddy day, take my kid, plus my niece. From the jungle to the urban jungle, some might say. Very good from you. Thank you. You should be a copywriter. Yeah, that's it for me.

Went to what's called, not Flying Fox Park, Rocket Ship Park. We have a Rocket Ship Park too. It's not about you, it's about me. Is it have a big rocket in the middle? Hence the name. It does, you know your rocket ship. There's a chain of, it's about me. Is it have a big rocket in the middle? Hence the name. It does. You know your rocket ship.

There's a chain of parks called Rocket Ship Park. It's a great park. It's a cracking park. I've just finished it. It's really beautiful. Must be nice. Went there, went there. Must have been there for like,

I want to say we're there for about five minutes. What happened? Started raining. Oh. Yeah. They don't have enough. They don't have any cover. No cover. The rocket ship parks. It's the cover. The rocket ship's too high for cover. It's a nightmare. Yeah.

It's the Achilles heel of the rocket ship. The rain. The rain. Wasn't it rain? Yeah, it's over. It's over. So I did. There's a metal slide and Lola was like, I'm going on it. And I was like, go nuts. You know, when metal gets wet, it gets very slippery. Does she?

She flew out of there. And I know when something's happening and it takes you a second to realize. And I was I was about three meters away from the slide, but I saw her flying down. I just kind of went, oh, I was frozen. She flew off the end and she, it was like long jump. She must've got four meters. Straight onto her like bum. Straight onto the bum.

Bum back combo where you're like, was it like soft? It was soft. Thank heavens. The rocket ship parks, all the new ones have soft landing. Imagine what parks would have been like back in our parents' days. I was like, I went too far down the slide. She would have had a bottom skin.

Luckily she was okay. But then I was like, this is too dangerous. I'm pulling the pin on the rocket ship park. Okay, problem. Yeah. I didn't have a car. Oh, it's within walking distance. No, I got the bus there, didn't I?

Bus wanker. You got a bus. I got the bus, got the bus. But the issue is, Ash, the issue is, it was a bit of a walk from the bus there, didn't I? Bus wanker. You got a bus. I got a bus, got a bus. But the issue is, Ash, issue is, it was a bit of a walk from the bus stop, so I couldn't get a bus back home. Tried to call a taxi, couldn't get one, mate. Why do they even have a phone number anymore?

You just sit there all day. For 15 minutes. It reminds me of the city of the surf, remember? Yes. Can we just allow children babies in Ubers like if they're allowed in cabs let them in an uber without a baby seat. You can in Queensland. Hey change the rules we're living in the dark ages here in New South Wales. State by state laws is a joke. Isn't there an election coming up we should

campaign. The dad party. The dad party no baby seats and Ubers. That could be no yeah that could be our main thing like any man, woman or child should be able to ride an Uber without discrimination. And more parental supervision at Flying Fox Parks. More shade and more cover. Oh, we are onto something. This is good. Think of the people that would vote. Actually, can you please look up how to create a political party, please? Thank you, Jess. Also, just to put another spanner in the works, I had my niece, I had Lola. Guess who else I had?

Nana. Had Nana. You know what Nana's like in the wet. Talk about slippery. Yeah. Don't know who I was more worried about, Lola or Nana. I was like, don't touch that. Yeah.

Your hips okay. Lola, you're fine. And I'm like, how the hell am I gonna get home? And then out of nowhere, Tom Williams, Tom Williams comes walking through the park. He's just finished a meeting. Walking? Yeah. Don't tell me he piggybacked you off.

And he said, what are you doing? And I said, I'm trying to get home. And he goes, don't worry. You can hop in my car. And Lola was like, who is this guy? Not a stranger. Nana was very happy to get the car. She in front seat.

No, put her in the back. In the boot. Smart. Tom Williams saved my life. What a guy. Well, that is just dads looking out for each other. Just one dad to another. One dad to another.

So vote one. The political, the dad political party. We look out for each other. Just one dad to another. One dad to another. So vote one. The dad political party. We look out for each other. The party for dad. What would we call it? The party for dad? The dad party. I like it.

I now have to like, with that good deed, I'm now looking to give my good deed to another parent. You don't need any good deeds. You're fine. Hank, well I'm not actually. And I have a story about that. I'm not fine. Oh my God.

What is it? Hemorrhoids. The hemorrhoids are back. The hemorrhoids were vicious while you were gone. And that was from stress. Because stress about you. I was worried about you. Not about me or my terrible lifestyle or my horrible habits. Had nothing to do with that.

It's all stress. But we have some answers, Matthew, to why I am like the way that I am. Okay. And it's formal. So we always joke. We joke a lot on these podcasts about my, I'm the poster boy for a particular. It's a, it's a disorder. Disorder.

Yeah. Yeah. It is, there's got enough D's in there to add a disorder. It's a disorder. I have formerly been diagnosed by a psychiatrist as a severe, let me finish. A severe case of adult ADHD. Wow. Do we clap? Do we clap?

Look. I don't know what to do. I was like, congratulations. I can't say I'm surprised. I'm not surprised. We all knew. Now that I know, it's way worse. I'm just like, I found myself yesterday.

It's better the disorder you don't know. Yeah, I found myself yesterday. We're at the PM's house for that thing you're doing. And I was like staring off into like into no man's land. And then I'd be like, Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Someone's like talking like ash. Just as echo. It's quite a long process. I thought Matt's going to the jungle and pull my finger out and do something for myself here.

And can I ask, can I ask what made you want to get tested? Because you've you're now in your here. What made you want to get tested? About 117 episodes of this podcast. I listened back to it and thought, fuck, that guy needs some help. You've come this far, you're in your mid-30s, you've come this you know, you're fine. No, it's getting worse. Why? It's getting progressively worse. Really?

In what way? Look, I know that I've always had problems focusing. I know that I always, I'm real scattery. I'm real up and down. I move everything. Are you? I don't. I'm happy. Shut up. And honestly, it was, I knew it was getting worse. And then I started to pay attention to some

things that Oscar would do. And how he you know, he's five, he's, he's, you know, not, he just reminded me so much. Of what? Of what I, what like my brain and like what the mannerisms and things like he cannot focus on anything. What was Oscar doing that? He can't focus on me, but he can hyper-focus on a small, on one small task.

Yeah. And like for me, I used to be able to hyper-focus on things and then. Can I just refresh your memory? And you know this, but for the listeners, Ash, I don't know what it was, but he was like, I'm really into Pokemon cards. And I was like, what do you mean? Oh, yeah.

And you would watch people live stream opening Pokemon cards and then you started collecting Pokemon cards. And now I'm in severe debt. Yep. And you were like locked into Pokemon cards. Lock you started collecting Pokemon cards. And now I'm in severe debt. Yep. You were like locked into Pokemon cards. I'm locked in still, bro. I am locked in. Actually, I guess I can hyper focus on that.

But like I would find that I was like, OK, well, I can't. I'm starting to become as focused as Oscar is. And I'm an adult who like be able to focus on something. I can't read an email. I can read a header of an email. I could learn a new skill. Like Rubik's Cube. Took me one day to learn the Rubik's Cube.

You know what I mean? But then I can't form a new habit. I can't build a new habit. Just shit like that. And it's progressively getting worse to the point where like I'm unmotivated to do anything. Like I'm unmotivated to get out of bed. All this sort of stuff that it was like,

all right, probably need to do something about it. Do you remember, and tell me if this is the case or not, do you remember, it must have been like six months ago, we had a conversation about potentially getting diagnosed and you said something along the lines of you don't want to get medicated because it's going to change who you are. That's a common concern. They say because it's like we talk about ADHD as you know, like a disorder, like it's really bad, but it's also a superpower for a lot of people. it's really bad, but it's also a superpower for a lot of people. Like the psychiatrist said to me, said, you've gotten as far as you have done now with what's going on in your head, but you're obviously at a point in your life where you need, you need, I need to be able to create a routine, have some

sort of structure. I need to be able to sleep properly. Like this, so like, oh, it takes me like four hours to go to sleep. I'll just lay there, bro. And my head will just run the whole time. The biggest one and you'll notice it when and you probably already noticed it when that I noticed when I come on the phone to someone and I'm invested in our conversation and something so minute will get my attention and I'll pull on that piece of string and the complete conversation changes to me.

Just I'm not there anymore. And I've gotten to the point where I'm doing that to family and stuff like that. And I'll get off the phone and I'll go, fuck, I just did that again. I'll have to, like I rang my sister back up yesterday and I was like, I'm so sorry. You would, having an actual important conversation with me.

And I didn't digest him. I didn't digest the back end of the, I don't even know what happened. Because something had caught my eye and I cannot refocus on that conversation. And it's tough because obviously your sister's gonna be very sympathetic because she understands you and you and who you are.

But I guess other people might be like, fuck Ash, that's rude man. So many people, and I feel really bad. So if you are on the phone to me, and I do tune out, it's a disorder now, okay? But yeah, it was getting to the point where I have, Yeah, it was getting to the point where I have, let's just put yourself in my shoes for a moment. No motivation, no routine, no structure,

no goals, no interests. Like I was just like a blob, pretty much. And it's like, I can't, it really, really hit me when I surfed the wave pool before you, it was before you left or during when you left? I don't know. I did hurt my back on the same session, but I literally paddled out and I was like, I fucking hate this. And it was like, why though?

Why is that? Like, why is your brain now associating this with something that you hate? Like is it because maybe that I put too much pressure on myself to be the best that I can be, but I don't have the patience to work to be the best that I can be. So what was the process? Cause I remember you saying it was hard.

I know you were kind of like tiptoeing around, getting tested, but it's not just a simple make an appointment. Oh yeah, you like do this test, you have it. What does it look like step by step? So this is the second time I've been down, because we spoke about it last year, but it was the referral I got then was to a particular clinic that feel like they were quite big.

So you sort of get, you sort of go into the conveyor belt of process, if you will. And I felt like the information was like, the step was like, it felt like the test. You know what I mean? It was like, I'm not going to get through this shit. I can't focus on one thing. How do you want me to focus on 15 different things before I can see a psychiatrist to say, okay, what's going on? Yeah. one thing, how you want me to focus on 15 different things before I can see a psychiatrist to say, okay, what's going on?

Which probably deters a lot of people. I got really lucky because of Keish. Keish is such an advocate for it. For people who don't know, it's Keisha from Life Uncut. She created Cloud, which is on the Life Uncut network, which is a podcast all about ADHD, there you go. And she was able to point me in the right direction in how she went through it where it wasn't as painful, which, look, the steps are essentially the same,

but there was more guidance. Instead of just being like, here you go, this is what you need to do because you're one of a million people at the start of this clinic here, where you need to go do this do that do this do that So what do they make you do so stuff like there's a lot of like cognitive testing Like when you go for a new job in a corporate situation to go you go through like an online questionnaire

Yeah, but it's long again. You feel like this is the ADHD test But it's just to find out what sort of person you are what what makes you tick what doesn't let you tick Are you depressed are you sad? So you do you do that you do, what doesn't make you tick. Are you depressed? Are you sad? So you do that test, and then what happens after that? You've got to... They say that you need to provide some character references. Why?

Wasn't I called up? What do you think? No, it was like, thankfully, you don't necessarily have to. I think there is you do enough cognitive testing about your character. And then they're also asked for like... Penis size. I don't know. I haven't seen it in ages.

And it's like you like old school reports and stuff like that. Because there's no way you would have had that. No, no, definitely not. No, no, no. And thankfully, through this channel, I didn't have to do stuff like that. Because there's no way you would have had that. Oh no, no, definitely not. No, no, no. And thankfully through this channel, I didn't have to do any of that. Yeah.

So like, oh my advice. Your reports would have said easily distracted. Bam. Yeah. Losers focus. Bam. Cannot focus on tasks. Bam.

My advice to anyone who wants to go down the track and looks at it and goes, fuck, it looks like a long thing. Just do your due diligence on where you do it. Because this was really quick, opposed to it being really, really long. So this was like a couple of week wait to see a psychiatrist off the back of your testing.

It was telehealth. We spent an hour together. Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. Just so I know, so you've done your online test. I'll go from the start. GP, with your concerns. As you should do with everything, really.

Go and see your GP. Just tell them what's going on and what makes you think. And they'll ask you some general questions there, because they're trained to do so as well. But then they'll go, OK, do you have a clinic in mind? Which thankfully, from Keisha, I did. And then you essentially, the referral goes to them, they reach out to you, they essentially give you

all the information about what comes next. I'm really dumb here, but is the clinic like an ADHD clinic? Yeah, it's like an ADHD clinic and like brain neurodivergent. They specialize in all that sort of stuff. And then- So you do the online- Yeah, they specialize in all that sort of stuff. And then... So you do the online... Yeah, they sort of give what's going to happen next and the cost.

That's another thing too. How much does it cost? Oh, look, it's like it's upwards of three grand to do all this. It's not cheap. It's not cheap. Wow! For me, I was at a point where I felt like I needed to invest it so that I don't essentially become,

you know, depressed, really, because it's where it was headed. Yeah. It was headed to like... Impacting you that much? It was impacting me to the point where there was thoughts of suicide, like just completely honest, like very minor. But I felt that before, but I thought this is getting worse. This is the trigger for that?

It was sort of like for me, that was my how I felt that before, but I thought this is getting worse. This is the trigger for that? It was sort of like for me, that was how I felt because I had no motivation, no structure, no nothing. I did nice, sorry man. No, no, no, no, don't at all. Like I've sort of suffered with this sort of stuff for long enough that I'm like, okay, well. But what was getting me down was that I couldn't, I would do the thing, you know, here's an

example like you would go, okay, I want to do this, right? So what you do is you put the steps in place to get to there. I would go, I want to do this, get to the first step in my brain and go, this is all too hard. And that's it. You know, like, here's a good one. I started doing laps at the pool. So what did I do? I bought like a hundred dollar pair of goggles

They're still in the packet and that was terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like so after after you do your you went to the clinic to do your testing there and Is that off the back of that? Did I say you like you have it? Well, yeah so you do the testing and then you have your consultation with a psychiatrist and there's a lot, they dive into a lot like childhood, family life, both your immediate family and then obviously my wife and kids and school and hobbies and habits like alcohol, drug, they do into everything, family loss. Look, if you're not at a position where you want to talk about all that stuff,

then maybe it's not worth going down that track. Pretty confronting, right? It's really confronting. It's like exhausting at the end of it. You're like, fuck, like, it's like a proper therapy session, which thankfully I've got some experience in, so I wasn't. But I can imagine if that's your first, you'd be like, Oh, like I had to take it in the car because it's just like, I needed zero distractions.

I just needed to, I was like, if I'm going to spend all this money and do it to improve my life, I need to just lock myself away and get it done. And then based off that He in the conversation. He said look In my professional opinion you do have adult ADHD Along with there's a couple other things that's in there. They give you a diagnosis, which is the diagnosis goes back to my GP For next steps, which is next steps is blood work goes back to my GP for next steps, which is next steps is blood work, ECG. And for me, blood work and ECG is really

important because I've got heart disease. For medication. For medication, yeah. Because he openly says, hey, we can treat this with medication, whatever that's going to look like, I don't know yet. Or you can look at unpacking. It's like a fast way or a slow way. Like that's the way they put it and I was like well I'm open to being medicated but that's what I was worried about losing my spark right I was losing like I didn't want to lose my personality and we'll lose how my brain

works in certain ways and he was like no no no we'll yeah but at the same time you talk about your spark it's like I don't I, we'll... Yeah, but then at the same time, you talk about your spark. It's like, I don't, I think about that moment when you say, you're thinking about self harm, and you're like, well, that's not, it's not helping you, it's not a spark that you think it is. Yeah, yeah, there's always like the negative side

to my brain, the personality that I have. But he said to me, no, no, no, he's like, look, what we can do is we can look to just make it easier for you to focus on tasks and achieve smaller goals than just being like, here's something kind of completely dull who you are as a person for the rest of your life. And that's a big stigma around medication.

When I, I'm medicated already now, and I have been for years, but it was like before that, I was like, I didn't want I'm medicated already now and I have been for years. But it was like before that I was like I didn't want to be medicated because I didn't want to be seen as that person who's medicated. Right. It's like he's had like a lobotomy. Yeah, essentially. And like but then once I went down the process the first time with you know with it's like it's not that bad. with, you know, with that, it's like, it's not that bad. Do they, when you, they say severe, is there like a scale? Is it like between?

I guess it's just his medical opinion, right? He's like, okay, well, I've heard you, I've heard what you like, what your brain's like, and they're very good at like, drawing stuff out of you that they are trained to do, right? If they're good. But it's kind of, I guess on the one hand, it's kind of daunting to know like, okay, I've actually got this thing now. But then at the same time, it must be nice in a sense to know like,

hey, it's, you know, I've been living with this thing which has been hindering me for so long. Like it's not you, it's like, you know, it makes sense. Yeah, it's like, now that I'm aware of it and there are certain things that, certain behaviors that I do like, like my doom scrolling is on a fucking another level. It's because it's ADHD paralysis. I'm just there searching for dopamine. Search and that's the easiest way for me to get it without, you know,

racking up. You know what I mean? In that, I'm just like consistently searching. And it's like, it's a known thing that you go into a paralysis where you're like, I'm just going to sit here all day. In a vortex. And I have done that. You know, the first day both kids went back to school,

I think a year away, and I think we had nothing on or whatever, I literally sat there till the kids got home. He got nothing achieved that day. And it was like, I don't have the motivation nor do I have the drive, the strength to move off this couch and other than just sit there and doom scroll. Maybe joke off. Yeah, so that's where we're at.

Okay. So you haven't had any medication? I got to do blood tests, ECGs. Then you go and do another psych appointment to talk about medications, the pros, the cons, all that sort of stuff, like another hour. And then they see you again, just make any adjustments. And then it's up to you how often you want to see them, like check in. So like I think Kiesh was saying that

she did the first initial appointments and they adjusted the medication and everything seems to be working fine. But if her brain chemistry changes or something changes, like maybe she falls pregnant and hormones change, things that maybe she might need to go see again. Change medication? Yeah, but she's gone through the harder process.

Wow, well dude, I'm proud of you. Thank you. Very proud of you. That's the most serious conversation I've had in a very long time. Yeah, and I think it would have been so easy to kick this bucket down the road a little bit longer, a little bit longer.

Knowing how hard the process is, I think well done. Thank you. Well done. I feel better about it already. I mean it's like you said there's no surprises. Like it was you know I can have a large Red Bull and go straight to sleep. Like you know you know it's just yeah it just got to the point where it was like and then I was doing this thing where I was like. I wish I'd known this before I started a podcast with you. Sorry, it's only been two years.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But it was getting to the point where I was like, you know, I'm not, like I definitely have a problem with alcohol. Like that's no fucking secret. But it was getting to the point where I was like, I was just drinking because I was just depressed about it. And it was like, if I'm going to be unmotivated to do things, I might as well do the things

that's like, the easy things that give me some sort of chemical in my brain to make me feel a bit better. So anyway, here we are. And I'll keep you updated when I get back from Vegas. I guess if anyone has any questions specific to your process of getting diagnosed, hit us up. Let us know. Yeah, for sure.

Facebook, Instagram, whatever. You can DM me. I don't mind. I'll ignore it. Matt. Yes. Back from the jungle. But you did miss quite a key moment in Marley's

life. You did make a little heart symbol on TV, you did wish her well from the jungle, which she loved the heart, loved it, and I felt guilty a few times I'd forget to do it and I'd be like laying there in bed going, I'm like a bad baron. The first day, like the first recording, first episode, we're all here and they're like, when's he gonna do it? And then like, eventually you did here. And they're like, when's he going to do it? Yeah. And then like, eventually you did it like a little, like I think when you got the opportunity, because it was hard, you don't know what's going to air,

what's not going to air. Yeah. But first day of school, primary school, you've been back a week or so now. How? I think she's doing really well. You've been doing drop offs and stuff? I've been doing drop offs only at the new daycare with Lola.

So I've kind of been missing school. I haven't seen the late, great Matty J come through yet. We actually had a parent-teacher night where we had this three kindergarten classes. Oh, yeah. And all the parents go along. It's not one-on-one. It's a group. We did some, yeah. Like the curriculum.

And they kind of say like this is what the kid's learning. And they made it sound really complicated. They were like, so we're going to be learning about maths and social studies. And I was kind of like, what do you learn about maths? They're like, oh, just like they count to 10. Timmy has seven oranges. 12 apples and 12 plums. But I was thinking, oh wow, they're teaching some pretty full on stuff here.

But no, no, no, no, no, no, it's all, it's all like, it's all fun times. I mean, these days they've obviously got iPads in class. They've got like a, you know, we had like a chalkboard or a fucking whiteboard. They've got like a TV screen board. They've got TV screens at your school? Yeah, dude, the whole thing. It's like interactive. What?

I know. Why? Public schools, too. We're dude, the whole thing, it's like interactive. What? I don't know, wild, public school too. We're living in the dark ages over here in Bondi, we've got whiteboards still. You've still got Bondi Beach. Yeah, I was like, what is this? What is this rubbish? Yeah, it's funny how you forget how much kids froth on a little merit award. They have this badge system, so if you are seen to be doing something that's like in line with school rules, you can get ethics. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get these little badges or like little tokens. And then if you get three tokens, you get a Merit Award. Then if you

get two Merit Awards, you get like a blue award or something. And I don't like it's. Then you get four blue awards. You get a red award. Yeah. And you're like, who cares? But the kids, they froth, they lose their shit. Molly's had one badge so far, a little token. And you're like, who cares? But the kids, they lose their shit. Marley's had one badge so far, a little token. And she's like, you're never going to believe what happened. And I was like, well, what'd you get? She's like, I got a token. I'm almost out.

I'm almost out of red. I read a word. Oh my God. I'm losing her mind. But she's, she's taken a school. Yeah. Fine. Yeah.

Same with Oscar. I mean, the thing for us like that he's frothing on is who's the fastest? That's what boys do, right? They're like, who's the fastest in the school? And every week is different. He's very quick. He's very quick. How is he?

He was like, this kid was faster than me last week, but this week, Oscar's definitely faster than him. Or like- Oh, he's just so basic. I know, I know. Who's the fastest is the best. But all the girls are like, oh my God, Oscar's the fastest. There's that.

I was really funny. Like we've got like a really long track to get to school. Yeah. One entrance, one exit. Um, and you know, we walk all the way down with him and I was like to Oscar, I'm like, what'd you, what'd you do today? You know? And he was like, oh, we did rhyming words.

And I was like, oh yeah, like what words? And he was like, like truck. And I was like, oh yeah, like what words? And he was like, like truck. And I was like, OK, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Rhymes with truck. And he was like. Fuck.

And there's a little girl in front of us that was in her grade too, and she was like, oh, yeah, does rhyme with that. And you're like, my work here is done. I was just like, oh, this is good gear. So it's how fast you are. The running is definitely a big, who's the fastest? And another one is that I wanted to ask you about is, obviously lunches.

Oh, it's a nightmare. All kids want canteen food. They just want it. We do it on a Friday. Yeah, so we haven't done it at all. But the kids are trying to manipulate all the parents by saying, oh, this kid gets it every day. Like everyone gets it but me.

And so we've figured them out. Lenny and Oscar, obviously, in the same class. They're like, what, trying to play off? They're trying to play each other, but they don't realize that we talk to his parents. It's so dumb. Apparently Lenny went home and was like, everyone gets canteen food every day except for me. And they were like, everyone, everyone gets except for you. What about Oscar? They're like, hang on a moment. Rings April on loudspeaker. And he's like, does Oscar get canteen food? And I was like,

no, not yet. And they were like, see Lenny. I'm just trying to manipulate kids. He's got beads of sweat coming down. He's like, ah. I know. We were all like showing him like, because it's all on apps and stuff now. But that's a crazy thing.

I like Laura was like, hey, you got to put in 8 a.m. is the deadline, the morning of to put your order in. And she's like, just do it on the app. And I was like, what? Where's the brown paper bag? You just write on like, sausage roll, $1.60. Put the money in the bag. Yeah, now it's like sausage roll, $12.60.

Very expensive. But they have apps now. Yeah. They have apps for canteen. What's the app called? I have a really good name for that app. It's called, the app should be called Brown Paper Bag. Just saying. The app, right? No app. It's called, the app should be called Brown Paper Bag. Just saying.

The app. Right? No good? It's not your best. I'll put it down to your 80. I just thought of it. I'll put it down to your 80 HD. Okay.

Well, I'm not going to tell you things if you're going to use it against me. I also have a massive penis. But Marley today has her first exam. First exam. HSC already. First test. They have, they do these reading tests to figure out what books you get. So you get different books depending on your ability to read.

From the library at the school. Library or, I don't know. Do you guys have a library at your school? Yeah, I think so. I don't know. I zoned out during the parent-teacher night. Same. So there is some kind of a library, I think. I don't know. I zoned out during the parent teacher night. Same. So there is some kind of a library, I think.

I don't know. It was a 45 minute meeting about school curriculum. I was 20, can I just say to the teacher, it was great. Try and do it with ADHD. It's not a competition, bro. It's. But Marla's gonna find out. Marla's gonna find out what level her reading is at.

She's pretty good. She's very good. She's freakishly good. Like reads better than me. Oscar's doing a running test today. Is he a varsity? Is he a Monday? Marley's doing a reading and Oscar's like, watch this.

But Lola hates it. Lola's like, why is she going to a separate school? So now we're debating. We were going to hold back Lola for one more year of daycare next year. But now we're like, why is she going to a separate school? So now we're debating, we were gonna hold back Lola for one more year of daycare next year, but now we're like, do you know what? Let's just send them both there. She's a fair baby, so.

I think. She'll be five when she starts. Yeah, fine, right? I think that's fine. Fine, I don't know. Send her in. Yeah, so, the draft? Yeah.

This one. Fine. Don't touch my Marley. This one. But no, so far so good, so the draft? Yeah. This one. Fine. Don't touch my Marley. This one. But so far so good, so far so good. And the parents that we've met are lovely. Yeah, I really love it. And the most exciting part Ash, I'm gonna get my electric bike this weekend. Oh. So I can start doing drop-offs in my bike. I've been doing the drop-offs on a bike because it's carnage down there. Oh it's a nightmare. Absolute carnage. I would rather spend an afternoon in hell yeah then do a drop-off in the car trying to find a path. And I'm like 500 meters

from the school but the problem is it's like all uphill on the way back which to walk it's like oh but the electric bike you just mosey back up. Oscar must love it. Loves it. Every day. Even April and I rode the bike to parent teacher interviews. You and April together? Yeah. Look at these hippies. Look. Yeah.

Sup, man. Everyone's trying to get parks. I rode all the way down to like the front of the school. You and April. Where was she sitting on the back? She was sitting in bitch seat, baby. What's that? The seat behind where you grab like that.

There's plenty you grabbed onto at the moment, that for sure. She was like what's all this? You look great. Thank you. But yeah did you get the bucket one? Little bucket at the front, double seat at the back. I got the real I got the dad mode one. You got the cool one. I've got you got the cool surf one. I've got a new one coming. Oh jeez must be nice. This one's just a freebie. This one? Just someone who wants to... What are you going to do with the old one? I don't know. It's mine.

How many electric bikes do you need? I needed a new one because the one I've got is not powerful enough for all the hills. Hey, we have a little update. A little while ago, would have been last year. Oh yeah. End of November? Can you believe it's nearly the end of February? I can't, I cannot, I cannot.

Where does the time go? Where did it go? Where? Lost it. I'm 35 this year. Yuck. Okay, well you're 40. I'm 38. Yeah, your wife's 40 though. Look at these grey hairs bro. Anyway,

we did the calendar, the raunchy ranch calendar. We did. You may be wondering Ash, how much money did we raise because we were donating all proceeds to a great charity called Rise Up, they support victims of domestic violence. Ash, have a guess, how much money we will be donating? 50 bucks. A little bit more than that. It is $3,514 will be donated to Rise Up. That is outstanding. And that is because of the listeners, so. Thank you so much for your support.

That is a round of applause. Yep, that's worth a round of applause. Are we in a clapping podcast now? We are. We're the two doting clappers. So yeah, really appreciate the support. We do have some calendars left. So if you would like to get your hands,

I know we talked about the year going so fast, but there's plenty of time. Well, I had two extra months at the end. He got nine months to enjoy the calendar. But that's all they have to do, is put the two front months at the end. Just roll it on in in 2020. Yes.

There's two March 20th. This guy is good at business. We will put a link in the show notes. We will put the link in the show notes where you can buy the calendar. But a huge thanks for all your support. And we obviously need to do like March 20th as a Toototing Dad day or something. Why is that again? Because we did it twice.

Ah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, that is... Quality control on that calendar seems to... But, but if you haven't bought one, it's a great calendar. Yeah. There's a couple of mistakes in there, but ignore them. It doesn't matter now.

It still rolls on. I think if it didn't roll on, if it threw every other day out, it would be so funny. They're just numbers. They're just numbers. It doesn't make any major impact. Yeah. What's the calendar? Exactly.

You should buy one. No one's buying the calendar for the dates, for the pictures. It's for the days in the calendar. Anyway, that's good. That's good gear. And on that note, we will get out of here. You've got to drive home. I'm going to pick up kids Ash. Yes. If you've enjoyed this episode, what should you do?

You should leave a review, subscribe, like whatever you do. Yeah. Five stars. Follow us on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. Facebook. We will speak to you guys on Monday. Can I get back in bed? Oh, God. Please be safe. Look after yourself. I will. Come back in one piece. Always. I am a soldier.

I'll be fine. OK, we'll see you guys next time. Bye. To Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.