Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #157 Sam Frost On Birth Scares, Therapy And The Messy Part of Parenting

Episode Date: July 13, 2025

Sam Frost doesn’t do warm-ups. She knew her partner Jordie was the one from the very beginning, and so, they quickly became parents. That set the tone for everything that followed. If you’ve only ever known Sam as the Bachelorette or from Home and Away, you'll realise she's got the energy of someone who is grounded and incredibly open. She talks through the chaos of early pregnancy, a scare right before baby Teddy was due, and the big mistake Jordie made in the delivery room. There’s also a really honest conversation about mental health, seeing a psych before birth, and why trying to “get it right” as a parent isn’t nearly as important as learning how to repair when you don’t. BUY OUR SMELLY T SHIRTS HERE  https://www.twodotingdads.com/category/all-products Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mr. Wicks. Yes. How long was it into the relationship with April that she felt pregnant? Like eight years. Okay. Wow. Wow. Well, this one's a little bit different Ash.

We have a guest who did things a little bit differently. I'm talking about Sam Frost. She is beautiful, down to earth and hilarious. Yeah, Sam is the Bachelorette alumni. She's gone on to build a career in radio, acting on Home and Away, and now travels around Queensland in a caravan with her family.

She takes us through the wild ride of early pregnancy, a late stage scare with baby Teddy, and Geordie, her partner, his perfect timing while Sam was in labor. Yes, a strange request from young Geordie while his partner's sitting there in pain. Well, thankfully he was in the right place, in hospital. Who knows what could have happened?

Well said. She also opens up about her mental health, seeing a psych before giving birth and learning that the most important thing in parenting isn't getting it perfect, it's knowing how to repair when you don't. Alright, let's get into it. Let's do it. Welcome back to Two Doting Dads and One Doting Mum. I'm Matty J. I'm Ash.

And I'm Sam. Nout it. Yeah, sorry. Very good. I'm like, And I'm Sam. Nailed it. Yes. Very good. Who am I? This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad. And the relatable.

And we never give advice, Sam. We never do it. We never will. We never wanted to. We have no desire. But for you, if you have advice, by all means, we will never stop you. Yeah, as a loophole, we let guests give advice because. It's illegal.

Every time we try to do it, people are like, that's wrong! It's like, let's not do it at all. Yeah. Sam, there is a question that we start with every guest. And it is, do you remember the most trouble you got in as a child? Geez.

I can't. I feel like I put you on the spot. You did. And if you didn't get in much trouble, that's totally fine. No, I don't think my parents particularly liked me either of them. So it's like my whole childhood or just a moment.

No, let me think. You guys are like, fuck. So let me ask you this thing. Were you rebellious as a child? Yeah, I mean, I never... I actually, I really loved school. Loved it. But I got into a lot of trouble

because I was quite cheeky. It wasn't like, you know, awfully naughty. It's just like, mate, like, come on. Stop being smart-ass. Stop being like... Smoking in the toilets, mate? Yeah, yeah. No, I actually never smoked, mate. Wow, well done.

You dodged that one. Did you wag classes? No, I actually never smoked mate. Wow, well done. You dodged that one. Did you wag classes? Always. Just things like that. I think I would get in trouble for just normal school rebellion I think. I remember once my mum, she grounded me for an entire year. Whoa. Yeah, when I was in primary school. For what? I can't remember and I bring it up now and she goes,

yeah. That never happened. Yeah, and she goes, I can't remember why I did that. And I was like, mom, that's fucked up. I was like six and she's just like. Well, I'm the worst mom ever. Oh yeah, yeah, that was sweet of her. Like, I obviously did something so bad,

but she's like, yeah, yeah, I can't remember, but still like defends it. And I'm like, no, that's really bad. And they defend it like Matt said, they're like, well, I guess I'm just the worst mother ever then. I know. Thanks for bringing it up. Yeah, I'm glad you said it, not me.

Did it work in any way? Like, did it help you to be who you are now? Now I'm like really introverted and get awkward in social situations. So probably, yeah. Thanks, mom. Yeah, it's impressed my development, so I'm really grateful.

And then growing up after school, were you someone who always wanted to have a family? Yes. Yeah, I think I always did. I love, I'm one of six. I've got four brothers and a sister. So I love the chaos. I love the fun.

I love teasing. I love, yeah. You're a bully. Yeah, basically in my family, there's always one target and you don't know who it's gonna be. Like we all get together and you're like, who's gonna fuck up?

Yeah. Right? And then like it's just in from there. And it's fine. My family says that I can dish it out very well, but when it's me, I don't handle it very well. Oh yeah, okay. I tantrums it.

You prefer to just dish it and then cop it. 100%. I feel you, I feel you. So four, so you say four brothers? Four brothers and a sister, yeah. I had tantrums at 35. You prefer to just dish it and then cop it. 100%. I feel you, I feel you. So four, so you say four brothers? Four brothers and a sister, yeah. And a sister. And where do you sit on that scale of eldest? I'm number four, so I've got two older brothers,

an older sister, me and my two little brothers. Wow, okay. So I'm in the middle, so yeah. I mean, I think that's a good spot. Do you think you wanna have that many kids yourself or not? You know, if I was younger, I probably would. Okay. But like, I'm 36, and, if I was younger, I probably would.

But like, I'm 36. And then if I go again, I'll be like, what, 38? Maybe 40? Do it. It's great. Matt's over here going, ah, ah, ah. Yeah, I don't know. It's funny because during my pregnancy

that I just did with Bobby, I hate being pregnant. I absolutely hate it. I mean, I wish I could be grateful about it. For what reason do you hate it? I was so sick and just like constantly vomiting up, constantly sick. For Teddy, your eldest, and for Bobby? Both.

Both, yeah. Yeah, it was awful. And then I speak to girlfriends and I'm like, oh, how's your pregnancy going? Okay, must be tough. And they're like, yeah, I guess I'm a bit tired. And I'm just like, fuck off. Shut up.

It's funny, we had a question on our weekly episode about what not to say to parents. That's a good one, right? Yeah. Especially if it's like, they're like, oh yeah, I'm really enjoying my pregnancy. It's like, ugh. I can't handle it.

I just don't know what to say to them. I can't relate to them. I'm just like, oh, must be nice. What's the worst place that you think you got sick? Just out of the blue. Oh, I've thrown up on a plane. Oh yeah. And that was pretty, that was pretty bad.

Like I was flying in to Sydney. I think I was in maybe like 25-ish, like I was in the 20 zone, so I thought I was safe, because generally it's earlier on. So I'm like, nah, I'm sweet. And then there was a bit of turbulence on the plane and I was like, oh it's earlier on. So I'm like, nah, I'm sweet. And then there was a bit of turbulence on the plane and I was like, oh no. And it was like, we had to buckle in

and I just like started, I got the vomit bag and I was vomiting, but I was vomiting so much. I was like, it was all down my head. I was like, oh. And I was like, it was in my hair. And I was like, bleh. I could not stop throwing up. Did you at least have like a spare seat next to you?

No, I had this beautiful elderly couple next to me and they're like, and I was like, I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant! You got a just a part of sickness. And the whole plane could smell it. Like it was, it was so, and I'm sure there's someone else who's going, bleh. It was horrendous and that was probably the worst.

Was it like, was it an easy coming vomit or were you going, oh. It was just like, it was just splurging out of my mouth. I can't even like, and once it started, it just didn't stop and then the bag was full and it was just, honestly. Someone's going, is that Sam Brass? Yeah, hi, I saw you on the bachelor, you're so great.

Quick selfie, quick selfie, yeah. Did you find you were carrying, I know my proud of the bachelor. You're so proud. Quick selfie. Quick selfie, yeah. Did you find you were carrying, I know my wife did this April, she carried around vomit bags for like a whole pregnancy because she just didn't know. Look, I wasn't that forward thinking. I think I was a bit more optimistic. All right, yeah.

Foolishly, of course. But yeah, it wasn't, ugh, yuck. Did you have any cravings? I know Laura, she really likes magic noodles and she likes cordial ginger beer as well as quite helpful for her Was there anything that you had I did Mac has run far too regularly and that's why I'm like now like Oh God, I gained a lot of weight Yeah, like chicken burgers like man I would smash one like nearly every single day really Yeah, it was a good eat and then obviously I was like, yeah, it was, I hate actually thinking about breakfast.

Sorry. And even smells, like, I like smells. Jordy had this deodorant he would wear in the first trimester and I'd get rid of it. Like I can't handle it. Still. I remember sitting on the bus with April and she would, on the way to the city and she'd get sick. Yeah. I was like, oh, I feel so sorry for you

So I'm sorry that you had to experience that on an airplane if it makes you feel any better. I think we spoke before Laura's 26c 70 80 And she was vomiting the other morning Wow, okay Yeah, that's brutal and it must be hard because this is their third So you got two other kids kids that you have to look after as well, so that's pretty brutal for a mom. That'd be fine. They're sort of self sufficient now.

I do want to talk about that Teddy, but before we do that, was there ever a point, I know that I always wanted to have kids, and I had a moment, kind of weirdly happened before we got pregnant. I was with Laura at the time, but I remember thinking, oh gosh, I'm kind of getting a little bit older now. I'm in my 30s and maybe Laura and I haven't tried to have kids and maybe we won't have kids. Like there's no guarantee that you guys are going to fall pregnant easily. And I remember it kind of happened, weird

coincidence right before she fell pregnant. But I was like, had the thought of, you know, it might not happen for me, even though I really want it. Did you ever have that thought? Oh, always. I often thought it because I also have a lot of girlfriends in my friendship circle that have had so much trouble falling pregnant. And it's been years and years and I've been,

they've been my best friends as well. So I've walked with them as they grieve, as they have, like even month to month, like every time they get their period, they feel like they've failed. And I've walked with them during that and it's been so hard and I hadn't tried. And so I was just like, I could,

what's to say, I'm any different. So I did, I often did think that it wasn't gonna happen for me. I just, I don't know, I just had this feeling that I thought it's something that I want so badly that surely the universe isn't gonna give it to me. You know, it's kind of- It's a bit of a protection that you're doing to yourself. Yeah.

Wow. And it was you with Jordie at that point? Yeah. Well, it wasn't, it wasn't, I had those feelings prior to that, years before that. And it was also not knowing if I was gonna meet the right person because I like dated a lot, very unsuccessfully.

Something you might know about. I heard on another podcast, and tell me if this is not the case. You said that other relationships, older ones, they gave you a lot of anxiety. Yes. And I think Laura has always spoken about her previous relationships being ones that weren't like a safe, warm, happy place for her. So when you got with Geordie, were you like, this is kind of boring?

Or were you like, this is amazing, I've been missing this my whole life. I never thought it was boring. I did think... Laura calls me boring. How dare she! But yeah, so like all my previous relationships I've always felt really anxious and it was very unhealthy relationships. And then when I met Geordie, I actually thought when I first met him, because he's so loving and he's so attentive and very emotionally intelligent and loves to communicate how he's feeling emotionally, which is very rare. That's awesome too though. I've always had to be like, what is this guy

thinking, you know, previously and I'm like trying to like dissect text going like, I think he likes me. While Jordy's like very forward with how he feels and I remember at the time when I first met him I was just like, whoa, this is like I was I want this well I was actually more thinking like this has to be like a trap like this is a trick you know like you think you're like gaslighting you yeah because it's you know like love bombing yes correct like love bombing yes it's a real term. Have I been married for too long? That's what I thought I honestly was oh, maybe he's just love bombing me. Maybe he's like a piece of shit.

You know, I don't know. Like, and then I had to work through it and go, oh no, he's just a genuinely loving and affectionate person. He's still like that. Like, he's so loving. And it took me a while to adjust to having a healthy relationship. Yeah, and I remember my psychologist saying to me, she's like, the hardest relationships

after you've been in abusive relationships or toxic, you know, unhealthy ones is the healthy relationships, because then they come along and you're not used to that. And so you have to sort of settle your nervous system. Because you could sabotage it, right? Without even knowing. I'm a massive sabotager. Yeah, and speaking of of Geordie where did you meet Geordie I

met him in a pub actually yeah we met in a pub and he was friends with my brother yeah at the time I was like oh yeah he's cute but I didn't really think too much about it. Yeah, a few weeks later I was like, nah, I'm going to hit him up. Oh, there you go. And Jordy always likes to tell everybody, she hit on me. She hit on me. Claim it in, claim it in.

Yeah, he does. And I did. Yeah, then when we obviously were in a really good relationship, I was like, okay, TikTok, uh, Let's get this show on the road. Let's try it. And then, um, yeah. And how long was it before you met and you decided that he was the one that you wanted to have kids with?

Oh mate, it was pretty early on. It was like, then three months later, I was like, all right. Really? Three months? Yeah. It was really, I think because- You just knew, right? I just knew. I know it sounds a bit woo woo, so bear with me, but when you know, you know. It's true. I was avoiding saying that because it's so cliche, but it's true.

Like, when you know, you know, and I just think, yeah, I just knew. And... It's really sweet, actually. Yeah, it was the best. And after you fell pregnant, you're towards the tail end, and this is with Teddy, your first. Something happened. Was it at nighttime that there's a lack of movement that raised the alarm bells for you?

It was around my due date, and Ted had always been a very active little kid, like in my stomach, he never, like he, it's funny because like the patterns that he would wake up, he was doing once he was born, it was very cute. But yeah, so he was the patterns that he would wake up. He was doing once he was born It was very cute. But yeah, so he was very active. He would wake up at 2 and like kick around I'm gonna sound really dumb here. Okay, but you can like like There's like a rhythm to the baby. Yeah

Yeah, I knew I knew about movement Let me just preface this Like an absolute idiot. But yet like a routine, he's in there. Yeah. How does he know what time it is? Well you can feel it. Like you can feel like, I mean they must get their cues from you I would assume.

When you are sleeping. Yeah. Like he would. He'll have to wake you up when you're sleeping, getting you prepared for that. Exactly and he did. And so he would like wake up for a few hours and you go to sleep and then you'll wake up again. And so I could feel I sort of knew his routine,

like when he would go to sleep and when he would wake up and be active. And so then towards the due date, he just completely stopped moving. And it was one of it was a time where I think mother's intuition had to kick in. And I was just like, something is not right. And you go and I went to a midwife appointment and I was like, he's not moving, he's usually very active and they like did their scans and tests and they were like,

you look we're happy with like he's there, his heart beat's strong, we're okay. And I was like, okay, okay, okay. And they sent me home. And you take that as gospel because you're the expert. Yeah, totally. Yeah, you hear the heartbeats fine and that's a massive relief for any expecting parents.

It's just my anxiety again. Yeah, totally. He could be feeling my anxiety and he's sort of. Yeah, and then I thought, oh, maybe before they come out, maybe they just stop moving, I don't know. It was my first time, I had no idea. And every pregnancy is different,

so all my friends have different stories as well. But then the second night I went home and I laid awake all night just with my hand on my stomach. And I was like, man, he's not moving. And just that anxiety. So I went in the next day and I was just like, you have to check this. I'm telling you something is wrong with my baby.

And then they checked and he ended up having an irregular heartbeat and they think that he wasn't getting nutrients from the placenta anymore. So they're like, we're gonna get him out right now. So I was induced and he came out five hours later. Holy shit! Yeah. Wow.

And you said it was around the due date. Like whereabouts were you? I think it was actually a couple of days after the due date. So I think I was like 40 and three or something. Yeah, so he was ready. He was ready. Yeah, okay. But yeah, and it's just, you know,

it's so scary when you think, oh, what happened if I had just let him stay there and I didn't, if I had just, I don't know. I mean, you can always think of what ifs. I hate to think about it, but. I know. We have been speaking to a lot of experts lately, Sam, about childbirth and what dads can do in that environment.

Was there anything in particular that Jordie did that was very helpful? Um... And if... It doesn't have to be. To be honest, Ash and I were both a bit average. Yeah. We'd call it. At the same time, was there anything that he did that you were like, probably wouldn't do that again?

Well, you know what? He was actually pretty good. I hate to put him on the spot here, Sam, because we love Geordie. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. Sounds like a really emotional, available, mature man. Which which we love. We stand where we love that. But I heard that he did have a request to a nurse or a midwife.

And again, Geordie, I love you. Yeah, look, no shame. No shame. No, no shame. What was it? What did he ask for? So Jordy, while I was... And Jordy, we love you again.

He asked for a cigarette. While I was in labor, obviously my body is going through a lot. Let me just emphasize that. Also, we'll just preface that we've done a tens machine so we get it. We get it. We're brave, okay? We are brave men. That is so funny. That was a joke. That was a joke. I know, I know. But we've got to be like, how dare you? But it's true. We did do a tens machine and like we couldn't hack that. Level 10. Yeah. Oh wow. 15 we got to. 15.

You guys must know exactly what it's like. Oh yeah, the whole yeah. But yeah, Jordy had a headache. So. Oh, the bald guy. And I was like, oh, you know, obviously in the thick of it, and I was about to say 10,

and Jordy was like, I hate to be that guy, but I've got a killer headache. And I was like, I hate to be that guy, but I've got a killer headache. And I'm just like, are you kidding? And he's like, can you give me some panadol? And what about me? I know, and I still give him a hard time about that. Does he regret asking for it? He heard me talk about it and he goes, well, I didn't want the moment meeting my son

ruined by a headache. Ha ha ha ha ha. Which fair. Fair enough. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. I know. It reminds me, remember that old Panadol ad where it was like, I can't play netball, I've got a headache.

Don't play with a headache. It's like, don't meet your kid with a headache. Quick, check if dad's OK first. Did they give him one? They actually did. And then quit. She's like, here's your panadol mate. She's like, I'm not actually supposed to give you any panadol. And he's like, thanks so much. And then anyway, so I packed it when I was going to hospital with Bobby. I packed him some panadol just in case. Good, good, good, good. We can't give you any, just give me the green whistle. Please! Get me through this! It's painful and you're like, ah, that's bad.

You just keep your mouth shut. Yeah. Geordie? I tell you what my brother did do. My little brother actually was staying with me. I came over for us when my brother was there and I was talking about my birth, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I was in so much pain, obviously.

Baby just came out. And my birth, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I was in so much pain, obviously, baby just came out. And my little brother goes to me, but you had an epidural, so it doesn't really count, does it? Oh! Excuse me? Oh! Wow. He's no longer your brother.

And I was like, mate. And he goes, yeah, but you know what I mean. And I'm like. No, I don't know. I don't know what you know, no. It's like he's had one before. Yeah, he knows exactly what it's like, no, I don't know. I don't know what, you know, no. It's like he's had one before. Yeah, he knows exactly what it's like. Anyways.

Oh my God. Just gonna put that in the list of things. Not to say to a person, especially one that's just had a baby. That's a cracker. Yeah. After the birth of you first, what was motherhood like in the first,

first grasp at motherhood? I mean, I struggled breastfeeding. I've been very open with that. And I found that the first grasp at motherhood? I mean, I struggled breastfeeding. I've been very open with that. And I found that the first time around with Teddy, I found that really difficult, just the opinions and the pressure to do everything perfectly. I found that really, really difficult.

In terms of my connection with my baby, I loved becoming a mum. I love babies. I just, I, really difficult. In terms of my connection with my baby, I loved becoming a mom. I love babies. I just, I absolutely loved it. And I was like, you know, that was worth a hellish pregnancy. Yeah, I was so grateful to have a healthy baby. And like just the gratitude as well to go,

phew, he's here and he's healthy. Because you spend nine months freaking out, obviously. And then you had the little scare. Like you can imagine, like you were saying, and I felt it when you said it, like I was just so happy that he came out, he was happy and healthy. Oh man, like that feeling.

Yeah, so I really, really genuinely loved it. Just overwhelming joy, but the pressure of every, and like midwives coming to your house and being like, oh, are you doing this? Or how much is it? And so much noise and opinions. I found that really difficult. And, you know, as a I think I'm naturally can be quite an anxious person.

So like that just plays on your anxiety going, Oh, yeah, like, I think I'm doing a good job. But everyone's telling me I'm not, you know, like, or telling me how I can do it better. And you just I don't know. I think it was really different the second time around. I was so much more relaxed because I was just like, blah, and I struggled breastfeeding again with Bobby. And I was just like, whatever, he's a bottle. Like he's so happy and beautiful. Like, that's all you that's all you all I can wish for, you know, and he's so healthy and beautiful. And I'm like, bottle shmottle, like, you know, what, whatever what I always say to mums and parents, anyone,

I'm just like, do whatever you have to do to get by. That's it. That's my advice. The path of least resistance. Yeah, and we will fall into, like you were saying, there's all these other voices and stuff. I'm thinking back to my first and April being like, look where we're at, like all the time, how big he is.

And then with the second one, you were like, meh. Yeah, I was like, I don't know how many weeks I am. Like, it was really, and also you're looking after a toddler as well, so you just don't have, it went quite fast considering, cause you're chasing after a toddler, I don't have time to know if it's the size of a pea or what. You know?

Yeah. But yeah, I found it so much easier the second time. And even like dealing with the two, people are always like, how is it? And I'm like, yeah, I really like it. I love it. Like there's obviously challenges for sure, but I think, you know, I'm much more comfortable

in my parenting and who I am as a mom and things that I don't quite get right or my bad days, I am more forgiving to myself, I think. Yeah, moms, especially new moms, and we've spoken to a lot of them, they put so much pressure on themselves to be able to do the job perfectly and straight away. And we always say it's like the first day on a new job, right? And then when you do, and even as dads, like when we have our second, I felt more relaxed. Did you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kind of feel like, I don't know what I'm doing, but something there will help me figure it out. Yeah. It's going to be okay. Yeah. Yeah. Second time on the roller coaster, you know, all the twists and turns are going to be to an extent. Hmm. You've always been really vocal about your struggles with anxiety and mental health. There is no situation that is a greater emotional roller coaster.

Roller coaster analogy is a... It's getting a theme. It's a theme. Yeah. Yeah. There is- It's a wild ride. Postpartum, it's tumultuous for your emotions. Like it's fucking wild. Even for people going into childbirth, mum or dad, that have great mental health,

it can really throw them. So how did you make sure that you were staying on top of your mental health postpartum? I made sure that I saw a psychologist beforehand. Like during my pregnancy, I went and saw a psychologist because I was really nervous about that. And I was just like, I've had depressive episodes throughout my whole life.

Like, and there's hormones and there's all sorts of things happening, change. And so I went and saw a psychologist beforehand and just to make sure that I was the healthiest version of myself mentally going into this. And also she gave me lots of tips and advice on how to navigate through motherhood. And she said, one of the things that I always think about,

and I always remind my sister as well, because we're always chatting about this sort of stuff, she's got girls older 11 and seven. The most important thing you can do as a parent, even if you make mistakes, you can make mistakes, you can lose your temper, you can, you know, have a bad parenting day. She's like, repair is the most important thing for healthy foundations for your children and your relationship to create secure attachment style. So she's like, if you be accountable, if you say sorry and repair that,

it's that's the greatest gift you can give your child. And I thought that was really refreshing. So days that I do have, you know, a shorter, you know, I get frustrated or I'm like snap, or I'm just like, you know, just like, ah, you know, those days when you just like getting pulled in every direction.

I just think it was just a bad moment. I say sorry, I'm like, I'm really sorry. I, you know, and I make sure I repair that. And then I think, okay, then we just reset and we start again. And there's always gonna be days, there's gonna be, there's days where I think that, you know, I'm like, man, I really nailed it.

You know, minimal screen time, healthy food, calm, fun. The house is kind of clean. Yeah, I'm like, look at me. Yeah, but then other days I'm like, there's Bluey, here's some McDonald's chips. And like, you know, you just, you have good days and bad days and I think we just need to be kinder to ourselves when we have those moments

where we're not our best and just be forgiving to ourselves and try to repair that. Yeah, the repair thing's super important and like, yeah, I feel like sometimes when you have those bad days and you don't address it before they go to sleep, I feel so bad. Oh man. Because like also as well, they're looking at you going, okay, well, if you're not willing to repair this with me somewhere, then I'm not willing to repair my behaviour with whoever else I'm dealing with down the track. Yeah. I suck at saying sorry. But even sometimes when I'm trying to get Marley, she's very defiant at the moment. So whenever I ask her to do anything, it's always like, in a moment,

sometimes getting out of the bath, I'm like, I'm just gonna fucking grab her. That sounds very aggressive. I gently place my arm on her shoulder. But I'm like, instead of trying to coax her out of the bath, I'm like, I'm just going to grab her, wrap her in a towel and take her upstairs to get a change. And sometimes she's like, oh, that was, like, daddy, you spoke in an angry voice. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I should have not got angry.

And it's wild how much of a difference it makes and watching them hear those words coming from a parent. And like telling them why you're sorry too. Like I felt like, yeah, I feel if I don't do that, I feel like I've left it. And it's. Yeah, I think it's so important. And even from like Ted's only two, but I'm constantly like if I like I'm short with him and I'm just like, I think it's so important. And even with him, I'll be like, I'm so sorry.

It's actually very cute. I'm like, that was mommy's fault. I really shouldn't have spoken to you that. I'm just feeling, I'm just really tired at the moment. I'm really sorry. And he'll go, that's mommy's fault. And I'm like, yeah, it is. It's really funny.

Thanks, Jen. Yeah, thanks for rubbing it in. It's really funny. And I'm like, yeah, no, it was. Yeah, I love that. When you talk about the early days of the pressure It's really funny. And I'm like, yeah, mate, it was. When you talk about the early days of the pressure that you were feeling and that buildup of anxiety, is there any situations where your support network,

your friends or your family were really helping you through those moments? Oh yeah. I mean, throughout my entire life, I have been so blessed with beautiful friends. I've got so many great friends and family. They're my biggest supporters. They're honestly, yeah.

I mean, I don't think I could do anything without their support. They're just so loving and they're always there to listen. And one of my best girlfriends, she's in Melbourne, and I'll just send her a voice note being like, oh my God, I'm gonna have a mental breakdown. And she's like, go outside. And I'm like, okay, yep.

Anyway, and it's really refreshing having friends that don't judge you, that just go, mate, it's a bad day. It might be really obvious, but if there are people listening where they know that a mum or dad has struggled in the past with mental health and they're finding it tough with a newborn or their child, if they reach out to them with their problems,

like you said, listening with no judgment, is there any other advice you can give of how people can better support when someone is reaching out with their problems? Listening without judgment, 100%. Also just allowing people to feel safe to talk. For women especially, I mean women work through their problems by talking about it. That's just how our brains work. So it's certainly like providing space to be there,

to listen, to support. Also, if you can, like my sister will come over and she'll just like sit with me and just be, I just think just the presence of people makes all the difference. You know? Yeah, it's hard to like open up if there's the fear of being judged about

how you're actually feeling. And that's probably a really big reason a lot of people don't. So they definitely should do that. So it's pretty powerful. Yeah, and you know, especially men. Now I've got to say, you look fucking amazing for someone who's just gonna say that.

I was just gonna say that. What? I was just gonna ask, you look fucking amazing for someone who's given birth. I was just gonna say that! What?! I was just gonna ask and say that. What?! Wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee we're so lovely! It's actually been three months. So I know that. How are you going with with? I mean, you've got a toddler and a three month old. How's that?

How's that going? Oh, man. I love it so much. I really do. I think like, I mean, there's obviously testing times, but you know, I think Ted's at a really fun age. He's two and it is so fun. It's hilarious because you see the good parts of yourself as well.

And you also see that not so great parts about yourself and you go, oh, he's copying me. And that sounds exactly like me. He's got this bit of attitude and he'll go, I'll be like, Ted, come on, let's go have a shower. He goes, hang on. And I heard my own voice echo back. And I was like, in his small child, and I was like, in his small child and I was like, oh yeah. You just sort of like catch yourself going. It's funny they pick up on like my son would pick up how April swears and not how I swear. And I would be like, that's you, you did that.

I have to tell you, sorry. My beautiful precious Ted. I couldn't talk about my son forever and ever and ever. He's the best and I love him so much. He's a very gentle, sweet angel. He's so sweet. It's like, he's too pure for this world is what I always think.

Anyway, it's very funny when the very first time he caught me off guard, he said to me, he's like, mama, come here. And I was like, okay. This is going to be lovely. Yeah, so I like toddled over to him in my lint down and he leans into me and I think he's going, mama, come here. And I was like, okay. This is going to be lovely. Yeah, so I like, toddled over to him in my lint down and he leans into me and I think he's going to give me a kiss. I'm like, oh honey.

And he goes, fuck's sake. It's always fuck's sake. It's always, and that's you, right? That's a hundred percent, Jordy just went, he looked straight at me and he goes, that's you. And I'm like, I know. And I was like, and Jordy just went, whoo, he looked straight at me and goes, that's you. And I'm like, I know, and I was like, maybe he didn't say that. And then every time he loves cars,

and so his truck trailer, it always falls off his road and he goes, fuck sake. And oh! At least he's using it in the right context. I know, I'm so proud of him also. It's a weird situation. That's my boy. It's a weird situation. It's a weird situation as a parent when they're like, they do something like that that you're kind of proud and it's funny, but you like can't show those emotions because you think it's... And that like the kid, I've laughed at things my kids have said and then they thought I'm allowed to do this.

Yeah. And they keep going. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, yeah, we've tried. I haven't addressed it. I'm like, don't address it. Because even little things like we say to Ted, stop driving cars on your brother's head, like things like that. I say that about four times a day because he always drives his cars on his head. And he's like, he's like. It's good curvature.

Yeah, it's a perfect pill. Loves it, right? And because I say, don't do that, of course that's all he ever does. And so I'm like, I don't address the swearing. And you're like, drive on your brother's head. Yeah. You can swear all you like.

Yeah, it's like, you gotta do a bit of reverse psychology and it's like trying to like, you can't really trick them into like, doing the things that they're supposed to be doing. But yeah, anyway, I have to be really mindful of it. I've given up on watching my language act now. I just like, whatever. Really? They know it's bad. They can say it.

I don't even care. Oh, that's so refreshing. When I call Ash in the car and it's on speaker, my kids are like, oh, there's another one. I know. I can't. I just honestly, I've just given up. I think at one point we were like, just let's just watch it as parents do, which is I mean, it's right or wrong thing to do, whatever.

And then I'm just like, I think everyone was like, we really need to watch this ring. And I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna do the opposite. I really couldn't give a shit anymore. I'm just going to fucking swear. We've got three kids. Yeah. We just all swearing at each other. She's just as bad. Yeah. I mean, like I, cause I've got a horror, like I've, I'm the worst at swearing. Like I'm so bad at it. I blame it. My brother's a truck driver. My dad's a truck driver. My dad's a truck driver.

Like it's just in my- It's the truck drivers. It's the truck drivers. Of this country you need to watch out for. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Avery's a driver truck now. So that's probably why. So I'm just like, ah, it's because of them.

That's why. But you know. It's part of your personality too, right? And I think like I did get a bit of feedback on the podcast saying- Now I'm used to it. Matt swears too much. Yeah, but I was like, you swear too much?

Yeah, him. I don't know if you feel this at all. And if you don't, you can be like, that's just you big guy. But I always wanted to be a dad, like always. We're so excited. When I became a dad, it was amazing. And that wind is just fucking. Is that wind? That's howling. I thought it was a truck going by.

Fuck you guys! Very good. But I always was a truck going by. Fuck you guys! Ha ha ha! Very good. But I always wanted to be a dad. And when I became a dad, I was like, this is fucking great. I know it's cliche, but I was like, this is amazing. I love it. And now that I'm staring down the barrel of 38, I think social circles become a lot smaller

and I'm kind of, I'm more dad than I am, like Matt before kids. Yeah. Maybe I think with Marley and Lola it was a bit even keel. But now I'm becoming like 90% dad. And I think I'm kind of having a bit of an identity crisis a bit where I'm like, oh, like I want to retain some of my youth. Yeah. Do you love who you are now as a mum? Do you try and hold on to parts of your youth at all?

You know, I actually I was talking to my sister about this I think there are parts that I miss but the majority of it I think I'm a far better person now. I think I'm I think I think back on who I was like man I was so selfish and Yeah, and my sister my sister always says, she's like, you're the best version of yourself now than you've ever been, you're the happiest. And I think that's because I have a different relationship with my past and I'm actually trying to get better at it

because you often, we always think about all the horrible things we've done, all the selfish things or the mistakes we made. Right before I go to sleep. Yeah, right. What is with that? Every night. I'm always like, why can't I think about all the great things I've done? Instead, you're like, man, you're a real piece of shit, Sam.

It's the worst. I'm lying there. I'm like, oh, God. Yeah, I know. But I think I'm the best version of myself now. But there are parts of me that, like, I miss, I don't particularly work that much at the moment. I'm solely focused on- You just had a kid! Yeah, I know, right? But the creative part of my brain really wants to be creative. So I miss that, but in terms of like,

I miss dancing, actually. I really miss dancing with my friends, because I was really bad. I mean, I'm not very good at it, but I really love it. Like, you know, just like. Play the track. All right.

Yeah. Pitbull comes on, yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Why I went to Pitbull straight away, I don't know, but let's run with it. Yeah, I mean, sure. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, so there's definitely parts of myself that I miss, but all around, I think I'm a far better person now. I agree. Yes, you sort of become like, you do look back and you go, oh, I was so selfish, but that's because you really just had to worry

about yourself for us. Now that you've got kids, multiple kids. I'll tell you what I do miss. I always say to Jordie all the time, I was like, man, once these abs come back. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you.

I'm telling you. Just gotta wait for the separation. I'm telling you. And I'll always get like really like, banging shots at myself and go, Geordie. You remember this? And he goes, I had that for like three months and then I go, pregnant or what?

And I go, I feel like I've been pregnant for about 100 years. But I'm like, don't you worry, it's coming back. When Christmas comes around, we'll send you a tub of protein to say thanks for coming on the podcast. Yeah, totally. One question we always end on is when Bobby and Teddy, they've grown up, they're no longer living at home.

What's the one thing you want them to remember about the house they grew up in? Oh, wow. Oh, that's a beautiful question. Makes me want to cry. I often, I very often think about what kind of legacy am I leaving for my boys? And you know what's interesting?

I'm not sure if you guys have felt the same, but since becoming a parent, I've started to think about mortality. And you think, I often think about that. And I think, far out, I'm gonna leave this earth one day. And- Sorry, I'm like, good and goosebumps. Yeah, and I'm like, what am I leaving behind?

What type of person? I'm very sentimental. I always write notes for my boys. Like, even if there's a photo, I'll write on the back something beautiful that I remember about that day. Cause I, and I think it's also because I lost my stepdad really suddenly. So I just think quite young. So I think it's also because I lost my stepdad really suddenly. So I just think quite young.

So I think, God, who's to know when... You know, I just freak out about that sort of stuff. Even today when I caught the plane, I was like, if I die, I love you guys so much. And Jordan's like, he's like, ha, you'll be fine. We love you. I'm so weird about it. And like, anyway, so yeah, I often think about that.

And I just hope they always feel like I created a very loving home. I always feel like they felt safe to be themselves. I hope that they, yeah, I hope they feel like an abundance of love and joy. I really truly feel that in my core. And I always say that I'm gonna build a house at the back of our house so they can never leave. Actually do you know it's very, I will quickly

say a very cute thing that I do at the moment is I do positive affirmations with Ted and he's so cute and little and so every day he starts saying he goes I am so smart and he goes I'm so beautiful and caring and kind and his little cute voice and he's sort of, and it's like so cute. I just hope that my boys know how loved they are and how capable they are. And like, I just think they're the best things in the whole entire world.

And they've made my life so much better. Great answer. It was a beautiful answer. And this is gonna sound woo woo, so bear with me, but you are someone who like radiates warmth. I'm like, those boys are so lucky to have you as a mom. Yes. And Jordie is very lucky to have you as a wife.

And we'd be very lucky to have you on the podcast. Yeah. Everyone's just so lucky. That is so beautiful. Gosh, people listening are like, gosh, get a fucking room. That is so beautiful. I really appreciate it.

Thank you so much. And good luck, by the way, with the, we spoke before we started recording. You're staring down the barrel at six months. Six months in the caravan. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. Six months in the caravan. We're going to set off in about a month.

You know, fun. It'll be very fun, but like, you know, close quarters. So we'll have to. We'll keep a close eye on it. We'll keep a close eye on it. Yeah. I wonder how that's going. Your travel contents on seven, is it 7 Mate?

Yeah, yeah. We've got a tally show, Geordie's 7 Teds Adventure. You can stream it on 7 Plus. Awesome. Love it. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Thanks so much, Ali.

Ash, before we go, we have to tell the listeners something very important. In fact, you could argue that this isn't just a request, it is a demand. I think I want to say it, but let's just cut straight to it. We need you, if you're listening right now, to please give us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify because these are the reviews that are the fuel that keeps us going after two very long years. Without these reviews we would dry up, we would be nothing, we'll be simply dust. Or you can join us on social media, Tootling Dads, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.

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