Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #159 Wheeping At The Wheel

Episode Date: July 22, 2025

Matty J's littlest (soon-to-be middle child), Lola, has unlocked a new fear - monsters! Unfortunately, mum Laura turns Daddy into a liar after telling a contradictory story. Ash experiences a flashback to his childhood after his kids shared their fear of falling into the toilet.  And Matty J (finally) tells the story of that time he hired a babysitter for Marlie and Lola that lasted less than a week. *******  We also get into your Par-Rants for this week, where you air out your parenting grievances. This week's rant hit a nerve and our pockets!   Brought to you by ALDI  Just low prices every day. ALDI. Good Different.  Link: https://www.aldi.com.au/ We also answer your questions:  What are your top kids films? How do you make time for sexy time with your partner when you're the parent of two kids?  BUY OUR SMELLY T SHIRTS HERE  https://www.twodotingdads.com/category/all-products Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are we good? I'll clap us in. You might need a microphone for this big guy. Hahaha! There he is! Whoops! Sorry about that! I was like... I'm just raw-dogging it. Okay, I'm back! I'm back!

You look good. Hey, you look great! You look better. Hat backwards. Yeah, it's something to mix it up, you know? Why are you talking like that? That's how I talk now. Like this. I changed my whole... I? That's how to talk now, like this. It changed my whole life. I don't know how to say this politely. Be careful.

Ha ha ha ha. Welcome back to Two Gooding Dads, I am Matty J. And I'm Ash. Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. I am Matty J. And I'm Ash. And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad. And the relatable. And if you come for advice, shock horror, we don't do it.

We are two dumb dads who happen to be doting. Two dopey dumb doting dads. Dangerously handsome dads. That's more likeing. Two dopey dumb do-teen dads. Dangerously handsome dads. That's more like it. There we go. This guy anyway. Back on track. I can't stop looking at you with that hat backwards.

Okay, stop drooling. Wow. Wait till people watch these videos on socials. I see my veins. Oh my God. Oh my God. How old are you again? 17.

Do you want me to hit the gritty? What are you? The scupid-y toilet? Are you 34 or 35? 35 in August. Oh yuck. Thank you. That's middle aged. 38 is middle aged actually.

Is it technically? Yep. Fucking asshole. Very good. How are you big guy? Look at the moment. Lola is really worried about something. Yeah. Go on. Yeah.

It's like front of mind. Okay. And that thing is monsters. I see. Hmm. Hmm. Why? Where's she get, where from?

I don't know. I maybe I'm trying to think if I made her watch Monsters Inc. Big mistake. Big mistake. I know. I maybe I'm trying to think if I made her watch Monsters Inc. Big mistake. I did that too. I know. I know. We heard that story. The first scene in that is a simulator of a kid screaming his lungs out.

It's PTSD. How that got signed off as a kid's movie. Different times. Different times. Yeah. You could hit your kids back then. No, she's just really obsessed with monsters. Really obsessed.

Do the monsters have like any characteristics? Not really. When at nighttime, when we put her to bed, she go, I got to have the monsters in the room. And I go, no, they're not. And she goes, she's laying in bed with me. But then one morning she woke up and she came to our bed, must have been pretty early, like five in the morning. So on that cusp of like, will they get back to sleep or won't they? And

she was like, guys, can you tell me a story? Talking to me and Laura. And I was like, Oh God, trying to think of a story. I was like, what do we do? Once was a monster that lived in your bedroom. What? So Laura goes, I got the story. Don't worry. I got this one. Okay. She goes, it was a little monster.

Oh fuck. That lived in your wardrobe and it was a cute little baby monster. And I was like, Laura, there. Your breath stinks. I was like, what do you think you're doing? She goes, I got this, I got this. And she tried to spin a beautiful tale

about a little cute baby monster who didn't have a mommy and daddy and who was looked after by the house that she was hiding within, i.e. Lola saved her and told this beautiful story of how the monster and Lola became best friends. How'd that go down? And Lola was like, okay, so there is a monster. I was like, what? She points at you and goes, you told me there wasn't! Okay. So there is a monster. She points at you. You told me there wasn't.

She was in tears being like, there's a monster in my room. I was like, what are you, what are you doing? And I don't want, you know, Laura's pregnant. I'm going to cut us some slack. Good. I'm not going to address this to her personally. I'm just going to put it here behind your back. I'll have a dig at it.

So we're dealing with the monsters in the house. Obviously that didn't work. No. So, both kids now, using the big toilet. Happy, congratulations to me and us and all of us. And without a whole lot of effort, if I'm completely honest, like I feel like... You know, meanwhile April's like... April's like sweating, rolling sleeves up, coming in shit. That was a hard slog.

Yeah. I was like pretty easy. You asked me this parenting thing. Okay. I'll get it. It's funny. I'll do nothing. No, I do plenty.

Thank you. Just not that. No, they were pretty good at like sort of toilet training themselves. Um, but it got me thinking, got me thinking about use the first time I were pretty good at like sort of toilet training themselves. But it got me thinking, got me thinking about use the first time I used a big toilet. Do you remember the first time you might've used a toilet? Yeah, go. I ended up getting circumcised afterwards. Oh, that's right.

Thanks for reminding me. I mean, sitting on it, not actually peeing in it. Sorry. I'm sorry to bring up that. Wow. Uh, that's my, my first memory is my mom being like, which one of you fucking kids is pissing all over the walls? And then, and then she then stood there and watched us piss one by one until

finally it was my turn and I pissed everywhere. Anyway. Anyway. And, and then... But please, sorry, you're... I'm so sorry to bring that up. But at the same time... Then I woke up in hospital and my dick had been cut off. Yeah, that's right. That's great.

Sorry. For those of you who are unaware, I was circumcised at the age of six because I had too much foreskin. They used to call him... Move along. They used to call him Sick Skin Matty. Anyway, I just gotta be thinking about using the toilet for the first time.

Stop making this about you. Let me make this about me, okay? And we used to live in an old fibro shithole shack. The same one where the... Used to or something? Oh my god. Wow. I'm sorry. How dare I go full circle? Oh my god. Wow.

How dare I go full circle? I've gone full circle. Poverty family grew up moving to a poverty house. I'm so sorry. Must be nice to have heating and hot water and... That was... Take that out. Jess, remove that. Don't.

People need to see who you really are. Anyway, I'm going to take some hot water home with me. Have you noticed things have been going missing? You know how that's because we don't have the modern amenities. Although one thing we do have that's better than you is Wi-Fi. Like most third world countries, their Wi-Fi is better than ours. Anyway, very good. OK, so I used to live in an old shithouse, like I do now, but a suburb over. That's a joke. That's a joke.

And we used to have the bathroom, laundry combination. Yeah, that had a back door out to the line. That was pretty popular in architectural days back then, I think. Can an architect confer that for us? But I remember it so vividly because we were having we used to have like home daycare at our house, right? So what do you mean? So like, my mum was part of like, mother's group, right, for example. And because they all still worked and stuff, there would be like, times where all the kids would stay, it will come to our place during the day, Monday to Friday one week, and then it might be someone else's house one week, something like that. Like a cult. Yeah, I guess so. It's nice, it's nice. It's an ice cult. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, then we used to dance around. What's it called? Like a commune. Yeah. And we used to dance around a fire. I remember it vividly because I had used, this is the first time I used a commune. Yeah. I mean, it's a dance around a fire. I remember it vividly because I had used the, this is the first time I used a big toilet. Okay. And I remember it because I said, I could, I need a shit. I could do this. And I remember I lift up the seat, sat down, but didn't leave the actual seat there. So I slipped in bum first. Oh, you put both, both? Yeah. I don't even know. The lid and the rim.

Don't judge me, it was my first time. I sat down and I was like, oh yeah. And you know, like a quite small kid, like toilets quite big for a small kid. Yeah. I slid down the porcelain, stuck bum in the water. What'd you do? I just yelled out for ages for someone to come and get me. And eventually my mum came in and I was like, have you ever seen that scene in

Ocean's 11 when that guy, the gymnast guy slides into the really tall small tube? That's what it looked like. You could just see my head and my feet coming up like that. Anyway, traumatized as you can imagine, because they had to try and pull me out of the fucking thing and try to yank me out. Had you gone, done your business? No, I was petrified. Anyway, so then they pulled me out and I've done shit on the floor.

Wow. Because I came out, I had to push so bad. What made you think it is? Just, just, just popped in when you were trying to go to sleep one night. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, fuck. I was just thinking about like, that Macy now using a big toilet. Oh yeah. And you're like, be careful in there.

Yeah. I was like, be careful don't fall in. And they're like, relax. Just go on to a wee. That just reminds me of something else that happened. We used to have, I don't know why my parents all of a sudden for like a small period of time became religious. I feel like everyone has that little phase. It's like, maybe I could save my soul. I remember we had house, like we used to have house church. This is the 90s man. You guys did everything in your house. What didn't you do in there? Keep warm was one of them. And I remember they were having, and I was in bed, I was in a young tackle, maybe Oscar's

age. I remember because I had big, the flannelette jammies on and I needed to go do a poo and you had to go through the kitchen, which was, there was the living room. Like through the sermon? Just about. That was in the living room doing what, I don't know what they were doing. It was probably more, I don't know. I don't know what they were doing. It was probably more, I don't know. They were like, this is religion.

Swinger's Club. Who's got the anal leads? I'm in prayer beads. Prayer beads. I got sort of halfway across the kitchen as a small boy and got this real big urge to poo. Took shit and it came out the side of my leg of my pajamas onto the kitchen floor. Oh god. Yeah this is what I'm working with. I'm just living with all this shit trauma. Anyway I just thought about it. You know what happens once you start talking about poo just takes over. I know. Takes over. I know because it's like we're at the park as well. And Oscar was like I'm just gonna go poo. I'm so honest. Anyway moving on from that. I You got a day. Okay. That's let's ask. It was like, I'm just going to go poo. It's so honest. I'm like, anyway, moving on from that. I've got a story that I'm, I'm finally willing to tell.

Ooh, I like these things. Okay. So before my mom moved in with us, you know, we were looking for a babysitter. I recall. And it's actually very difficult to find a good babysitter. Wouldn't know, couldn't fool him. Because I'm poor, remember? Come on.

You earn almost as much money as I do. Go, go, go, go. It's hard to tell the story. Okay, alright. It's very traumatic. Okay, I'm listening. Can you just be a bit more sympathetic, please? I'll try my very hardest.

So we interviewed a few babysitters and And to be honest, even the applications that we got, we went on a few Facebook groups, got recommendations from a few friends. None were amazing. We had a couple that were good that we were like, okay, they're worthy of coming for a chat face to face. Couple of them, no good. We said, in addition to looking after the kids,

we'd love it if just one load of washing or if you could help do one meal. And I'm talking like a spag bowl, like pretty simple. And then, you know, one of the women, like I rolled and was like, I don't do that. I was like, oh, okay. What spag bowls specifically? This is not a restaurant. However, I do a mad honey chicken. That's a fake laugh.

I quit. This is not his own restaurant. However, I do a mad honey chicken. That's a fake laugh. I quit. I quit. I quit this. I quit. I'm done. That was funny. So we had one lady come through.

All hope was lost. We were like, this is a disaster. We're never going to find anybody. She came in. Mary Poppins. And she was just lovely. She was warm. She was kind.

She brought in with her coloring in pencils and paper. So the kids were like, Oh my God, this chick's awesome straight away. Engaging with the children. They were having fun. And I was like, I think we're onto a winner here. Like I get good vibes. So Laura and I afterwards both said, well, it's gotta be her, right?

Thumbs up. When's she gonna start? Monday. Let's do it. Beautiful. She comes in Monday. And then when she's actually like dealing with the kids, she's quite meek is the best way to describe her.

What does that mean? So meek is in, you know with kids, you can't really, you've got to give them options and a lot of like, you can't say, do you want to get dressed? You got to say like, do you want to wear a t-shirt or this? Or dress? Confuse them. You need to confuse them.

You can just ask them straight up. Yeah, they're going to be no. And so she was like, Hey, Talala, do you want to get dressed this morning? And she's like, not really. And she's like, Oh, okay. And then we look at me and go, I don't know what to do here. And I was like, that's cool, it's day one. We're kind of, everyone's figuring each other out.

That's fine. Giving her a lot of slack. So we ended up, kids finally get dressed. And then this is when we used to drive to daycare, which was like a 10, 15 minute drive away. And it's a bit of a tricky place to park. So I said, I will drive with you. I can just show you like there's a couple of little sneaky car parks that you can get to drop the kids off at daycare.

I'll come with you. And also just day one, you know, just want to also just keep an eye, just make sure everything's cool. So as we're up in the car, garage door opens foot to the floor. We just reverse out there. Wow. Speed out onto the road. No hesitation. Slams on the brakes in the middle of the road and I was like, whoa. And she was like, so sorry. So sorry. That's uh. I'm not usually micromanaged like this. She was like, the accelerator's a bit sticky and I was like, it actually is. It's your car. Right. It's a sticky accelerator.

Okay. Yeah. This is her first time in this car. Yeah. First time on the job. First on the job. Okay. So then we start driving a daycare.

There's an intersection stop sign straight through. No. Straight through. And I'm like, like clenching and I'm like, I'm so sorry. You just gotta be really careful. That was a stop sign. And she was like, I'm so sorry. So sorry. Didn't see that was an accident. And I was like, that is fine. Everyone's a bit nervous. We make mistakes. We all make mistakes. We're only human. Ash. Okay. Now we're driving at a part of it's like the Bondi to Bronte walk. I don't know if you know it.

It's quite, quite famous. Okay. Must be nice. It's a very busy section of the Eastern suburbs where people- Never been. I've never been. You haven't lived. No, that's what I say.

So this is during summer. It's a beautiful day. There's a lot of people out walking along the footpath. You haven't lived. No, that's what they say. So this is during summer. It's a beautiful day. There's a lot of people out walking along the footpath. A lot of skin. Summer. A lot of skin. Yeah. No?

I can't engage with that type of conversation. It's a joke, Matthew. If it wasn't a lot of skin. Carry on. Yes. Okay. So we're driving along the beach there and she is really hugging the curb. Nice.

Really hugging the curb. And one thing that I dislike is a scratched rim. Okay. Okay. And I was thinking to myself, she's got to be millimeters away from the curb right now. Very, very close. And I thought, I'm not going to say anything because I don't want to be that guy. Micro managing. She knows what she's doing. I think you're already in the car, bro. You crossed the line of micro managing. So I'm not going

to say anything. And then all of a sudden in front of us, a guy who was running, cause it's so busy, he goes to overtake someone. He steps onto the road, right? And this is in front of us, but he doesn't just step onto the road to overtake. He does a few, he's essentially running in the gutter of the road right now, as we are also hugging the gutter of the road as we approach him. And I thought to myself, surely she can see this guy because she hasn't slowed down in the slightest. She's kept her speed.

How fast was this guy running? We were catching him. We were approaching him very quickly. And I thought I should say something. And as I was about to say something, we clip the runner. Hit and run. He bounces. You hit, she's hit someone in your car. She's, she's hit him.

He's bounced off the side of the car, kind of like face against my window, then rolled into the car face against like the kid's window and he's then fallen to the ground. She slams to the ground. She slams on the brakes. Oh my goodness. And I was like, Oh my God. And people that everyone stopped because of what's just happened. Oh yeah.

Someone just got hit by a fucking car. And I hop out and I'm like, are you okay? By some kind of miracle, he's dusted himself off. And he goes, I would like to apologize. I was running on the road and I was like, but are you okay? And he goes, yeah, yeah, I'm totally fine. And I was like, oh, he drags himself down the road. I'm like, you're missing this. Give him back his shin. I'm like, this is yours.

You'll bleed out before you get home. Naughty fine. The kids are like screaming in the back of the car. Oh, as they would be. What's just happened? The babysitter is also weeping at the wheel. And I'm going, well, if he's, he runs off. He's gone.

He's gone. What about the witnesses? Some kind of terminator. What'd she do? Turn around gone. What about the witnesses? Some kind of terminator. What'd she do? Turn around and run over all the witnesses. So I said, I think I'll drive from this moment on. Probably not a bad call.

So we dropped the kids off. We get back in the car. She's waiting in the car. She's hysterical. And she's like, as we drive back home, she goes, I've got to be honest with you. I've never babysat in my life. Oh, what? Yeah be honest with you. I've never babysat in my life. Oh, what? Yeah.

She tricked you. She's like, I'm here on holiday and I really need the money. Okay. And I'm like, what do I do? I kick her out. Well, I felt bad. Get out of here, freeloader. You murderer.

Call the cops. Well, I'm, I'm thinking, like, I feel bad for this woman. But she nearly killed someone. Well. It was an accident, right? She's reckless, Matthew. So I was like, let's just see how the rest of the week goes. Oh my goodness. And so then after that week, the first week, the end of the week, I was like, look, it's in my head.

I'm like, this is not ideal because you can't do any driving. I've got to do all the driving. You really can't get any handle on my kids at all. You essentially gained another kid. Yeah. You gained a toddler immediately. But I was like, I'm just, I didn't have it in me to fire her, but then she came to me and she's like, this isn't working out.

Is it? And I was like, oh my God. She's like, my holiday's over, isn't it? So yeah. So yeah, so. Where is she now? I don't know. I don't know where she ended up. She's, I don't know.

Prison probably. Yeah. She can't be gaslighting people like that. And thank goodness my mum retired and now my mum is in charge. How many people has she hit in the car? No, only a couple. Does she, does your mum drive? No, thank goodness.

I was just thinking that like. She gets too freaked out on the roads in Sydney. And then I told her that story and she was like, oh. I don't need a couple. Does your mom drive? No, thank goodness. I was just thinking that like. She was too freaked out on the roads in Sydney. And then I told her that story and she was like, oh. Oh, damn. Yeah, so any parents out there who are struggling to find a babysitter, hey, you're not alone. Don't get that one.

Yeah. Ash, just very, very quickly here. We don't often share hacks. It's not what we're about. No. Okay. We're more about complaining. I love a good complaint.

Right. I mean, should we look at doing more hacks to make parenting easier? I'm going to stick with the complaining. Yeah, let's stick with the complaining. Okay. Well, I just found this one as I was going on a little doom scroll, as I often do at nighttime before I go to bed. And I think this is good. I think we're on to winner. This may be the greatest hack I've seen

all year. All right. So what I'm looking at here is what a mechanic chest for tools on wheels. It's been converted into a nappy table, changing table. Soft close. It looks soft close to me. And it's used instead of like having like, what do they put in that thing? Like a ratchet set. Uh, uh, real man. Hexagon bolts. We're real man. What are they? What are they? WD-40.

What do they call those bolts? Nuts. Lugs. Screwdrivers. Screwdrivers. Spanner. Crowbars. Crowbars.

They put nappies in there. That's more our speed. Wow. I think that's really good. And it's on wheels too. And I think he spray painted it as well. Which makes it beautiful beige color. What's the plug on the side? Do we know?

It's like it plugs in. Maybe it's got like an internal light. Maybe it vibrates. I don't know. When the baby's tired, plug it in. Just plug it straight in. It's got one of those baby charges. There you go. I think it's, I think that is worthy of showing me. I think that's, that's good gear. Shout out to Live Well with Nell.

Yeah, but also- With L, with L, sorry. With hell? L. Shit. But also, Chester Draws do the same thing. Right? But also Chester Jarrell's do the same thing. I love how quickly you've gone from like, wow, that's incredible. I just point out the obvious. It's time for a very good segment, Ash, with a new song, not brand spanking.

Just a new song. It's a new song. I love it. Do people love it? Probably not. Well, here it is. Okay. Pair Rants for anyone who's not familiar. Maybe you're a new listener. All it is. Welcome. Yeah, welcome. Firstly, all the segment is, it's an opportunity for parents to just air out their frustrations for the week.

Things that are getting them pissed off. Rant, if you will. A rant, if I will. And you did. Am I going first? No, I'll go first. This is from Anna. This is quite a long one.

So let me get through this without messing it up, which is unlikely. Anna says, what the hell is with the $5 worth of formula that is absolutely unreachable at the bottom of a formula tin, no matter how much you scoop, shake, dance, scream, or cry, you just never can simply get it. And it ends up going in the recycling along with the tin. Triggered. There needs to be some kind of like hole or cap in the side of a tin. Or the bottom?

Or the bottom. Yeah, because it's the lip. It's the lip that gets you. The lip, saying, remember like the Milo tin? Yes. And you're like, there's still some in there. And if you try and like use your finger to like get it out, you end up slicing your finger over the tin.

These are things that I'm about. I'm about to relish. I know. And I love that. And I'm going to be just buried in the trenches being like, look at me, ash, my fingers will cut up from the tin. Do you know what they did with the formula thing? They had the ring on the inside, but then a bit of it squared off to, to

actually scoop so that it squares the scoop off because they're like, oh, it's two accurate scoops. What brand? I can't recall. Find it and send it to me. I will. I will. But the problem is, instead of losing $5 worth of formula, you lose $10 because the lip is like longer. How much is formula? It's expensive. Jesus. And what about that time then when they're like, because what was happening formula? It's expansive. Jesus. And what about that time then when they're like, because what was happening is people were bootlegging it. I heard that what you did, who were like buying it all out. And then it was like when eggs were like, like, to be a customer. Yeah, people still doing that to formula. Have we got enough

stock now to like quench the appetite of people who are buying like 20 times? I don't know. You're gonna find out. I'm gonna find out. So much to look forward to. Sophie has written in and she says, parent rooms that always smell like dirty nappies. Is it parent rooms? Do you think she means? Like the parent toilet rooms. So it's like, it's weird. It's a weird room.

It's kind of like having a living room in a toilet. Yeah, the armchair in the corner. You walk in, there's like something for the other kid to play with. You know what my rant is? When you go in there and there's... A fully grown man taking a shit. Guilty! When there's a chair, when there's an area to lay down your child to change their nappy,

but there's no like kids toilet. Oh, the little... It's like kids toilet. Yes, I know what you mean. Thank you. Thank you. I know exactly what you mean. It's all a bit weird for me, the little. Isn't that kid's toilet? Yes. I know what you mean. Thank you. Thank you. I know exactly what you mean. It's all a bit weird for me.

I think. I think, like I said, it's like a living room inside of a toilet. This one comes from Danielle. There's a photo here too. Explodes for a $40 barbeque for my boy. It's awful. I asked him to fix it. That's it fixed?

Wow. Just for those out there. That's it fixed. Wow. Just for those out there. That's a short fringe. This, the haircut looks like an Oasis haircut. Do you remember Simple Jack, the movie? I think it was played by Ben Stiller. Yes. It was played by Ben Stiller in a movie called Tropic Thunder.

No, no, no, no. Yeah, you're thinking of I am saying. Simple Jack. Simple Jack was a made up movie within a movie. No, Simple Jack was a full movie. No. It was not. Oh my God.

This one's from Sammy. Yep. My three year old not staying in a car seat straps. She escapes and then screams until my ears bleed. Yeah. Oscar started to go through the front of the strap. That's so annoying. Kids.

Am I right? You're very right. All right. This one's from Polly. Oh kids. Am I right? You're very right. Alright this one's from Polly. Rough kids at the playground. I'm a lioness. Okay. I'm a lioness on guard for the next attack like a dog like a dog park out there. There's always like one or two rough kids. And the teenage kids, oh God. Here it goes again. I know. Oh, they're down the shops. This is for Jesse, he says, old people who are always worried about my kids' feet being cold.

They won't wear shoes, get over it. I saw a child, must be like one. It's winter right now, it's cold in Sydney. That kids don't feel cold. I know, I was walking around with no shoes and socks on. And I was like, someone think of the children. Bro, Oscar got home the other day and he had short shirt, no shoes, no socks. It's like 12 degrees.

And I was like, well he lives in my house so he's acclimatized. I was like, are you cold? I was like, nah, I didn't use my jumper all day today. I was like, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Anyway. Anyway. Hey, shout out to Ald you? What is wrong with you? Anyway, anyway. Hey, shout out to Aldi who makes this segment pair rants possible. Just low prices every day.

Aldi? Good different. Love them. Legends. Love that. Matt, should we finish with a couple of questions? Yeah. Ooh, here's a good one.

Kate would like to know what are our top three kids movies? This is number three. I'm gonna kick off with an absolute belter here Ash. And please tell me that you A. Love this movie and B. Have cried in it. Oh no. Land Before Time. Never seen it. What? Sorry.

Isn't that a TV series? No, Lamb before Time. It's a cartoon about the dinosaurs, but like she loses, she's like a little like a long neck, diplodocus maybe dinosaur. Wow. And she loses both her parents. To what? So Littlefoot, who is the main character, her mother dies after a fight with a sharp tooth, which is a T-Rex. Holy shit. Dude, it is a T-Rex. Holy shit. Dude, it is.

Watch these old cartoon movies like Lime King, Parents Die, Bambi. Yeah. Like riding Bambi. Still cry Bambi. Watch this. I still can't do that. No.

Just the song, the music. It's like, it's too much. I know, it's traumatizing. I still can't watch The Lion King. Like that one scene where I skip it. Mine's not as deep as that one. My third option is the original, the OG, number one, Shrek. For a couple of reasons. Go on.

Okay. One, it's got a lot of overlying adult humor in it. Yeah. Love that. Two, I feel like movies that have a lot going on all the time, kids are glued to it. And something gross like a big ogre who pulls things out of his ears, wiping his butt with mud.

It's got it all. It's got it all. It's got all the jokes, it's got the fairy tale element to it and yeah, that's my number three. Yeah. I'm going to get number two, Little Rascals. Little Rascals? Have you watched Little Rascals? These are all very nostalgic, very old here. You're going, you're going vintage. Yeah, I love the vintage stuff. It's Alfalfa. Well said. I've never seen it though. Do you know who's in it? Trump. Makes a cameo in it. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But how old is he in it? The acting in Little Rascals is just sensational.

His kids are like six. And I'm like, how they made a movie with this many young children. Oh, it'd be so frustrating. Oh my God. Nightmare. Yeah. My kids love it. Whenever it's on, I'm like, well, there goes two hours of my time.

It's, um, uh, it, I've just never seen it. And like, honestly, child actors back then, they don't make them like that anymore. Mine number two is a movie called Back to the Outback. Okay. What's it about? So it is about a couple of zoo creatures, okay, in an Australian zoo. So it's Australian based. Yes, yes, it's amazing.

Yes, there's a koala, what else is there? There's a snake. Tarantula? Tarantula. And the koalas are like the media sensation. Yeah, yeah. And the snake sort of pulls on your heartstrings a little bit because she doesn't like to be portrayed as the bad. And then the data turns out to be a fake, a fraud. Great life lessons that are like undertones throughout.

Oh, I love that. Yeah. Yep. Okay. My, my favorite and I'm just going old school. The new stuff doesn't hit as hard as the old stuff. Honey, I shrunk the kids. I've seen that. I have seen that one. That little pet ant. What? Oh, and it's gonna get, it's really big because they shrunk. Yeah. Because the scorpion. What else is in that movie? Fuck. That was, I know it was terrible CGI in it, but that was for the time. How dare you?

For the time. How dare you? For the time. Give us a bit more. So he shrinks the kids, right? No, no, no. Did you fucking watch the movie or not? I watched it when I was a kid.

Yeah. So he's like a scientist and he, and he has this machine that can shrink things and the kids then they shrink themselves. Is there a sequel to that movie? Oh, they did like 24. Did they? Yeah. It got worse and worse.

Yeah, I bet. The OG is obviously the best. Okay. Well, I definitely want to go back and watch some of these and I'm going to go with my number one, which I'm modern. You're very vintage. Sing the first one. Love it.

Now that we all know why it's good. Okay. Great storyline, great songs, but anything that has animals singing and dancing in it makes you froth. She's got a crush on Johnny. He's a gorilla. He's handsome. He's a handsome man. You know, it pulls at your heartstrings those songs. So tears? Not from me. Okay. Ash, before we go, we have one last question. Okay, fire away. This one is from Renee. Hi Renee. So curious, and I know the boys won't find this too weird to ask, we never judge. I wasn't. How do slash did they make it work with sexy time when you had two kids? We have a two-year-old and an

eight-week-old and we both find it so hard to make time for that. I'm drained by the end of the day. And then he usually passes out putting a two year old to sleep. You're eight week old. He's back at it. Eight weeks. Good on you. I think just be a little less harsh on yourself.

Yes. I don't think anyone is having a thriving sex life with a newborn. The kids eight weeks old. Everyone's just tired. Like run down. I think, okay, let's answer it in two different ways. One is go easy on yourself and give it time. That's the first one, right? Because that's so early, but let's just say two young kids, not newborn.

It's okay. Let's look at like six months, not newborn. It's okay. Let's look at like six months down the track. Let's look at it. Let's look at it like that because you might be wanting to both answers. This is what I think because I know it's so hard because like, if it's like the kids are there all day or whatever, there's no nap time. Even when there's nap time, it's like, that's probably time for you guys to try and rest, not get back at it.

If you know what I mean. But then also like, if you're like, all right, well, it's date night. By the time they go to bed, everyone's just knackered. It's, there's never really an ideal. What I'm trying to say is try and take the opportunities when they come up. Don't plan for it. Yeah. But I think I'm going to go a step back.

Wow. Here we go. Step right back. I don't plan for it. Yeah, but I think I'm gonna go a step back. Wow, here we go. Step right back. And I think when you're coming out of the newborn trenches, right?

The last thing you're thinking about is like having sexy time. No. Because you've just been worried about keeping the house tidy, feeding the kids, sorting them out. You're exhausted. You had no time to reconnect as a couple.

You can't then get to bed at 10 o'clock at night and then try and flick that switch and be like, all right, well, let's, let's try and be aroused because it's the last thing on your mind. So if you were talking to each other and you're both on the same page that you want to like rekindle the sex life, you've got to try and reconnect during the day. You can't just get to the end of the day and be like, let's jump into bed and have fireworks. We don't know what they're like too. They could be doing that and still getting tired and whatever. But I think as a rule, I can guarantee if you are reconnecting during the entire day, and then you're not doing that and then not having sex. Like if you are absolutely on the

same page and you've got fireworks, you're complimenting each other, you're tactile with each other throughout the day. If you love each fireworks, you're complimenting each other, you're tactile with each other throughout the day. If you love each other, you're going to have sex at the end of the day. Yeah, I suppose. Not all the time, not every day. Not every day. I know what you mean.

You want to reconnect emotionally before the physicality. And physically as well. I'm saying, I'm saying touch each other during the day. Okay. Like be tactile during the day. Touch each other during the day. Okay. All right. Like be tactile during the day. Touch each other during the day. Yeah. Take that out of context.

Like I'm not saying like go up and like hump her. That's exactly what I was thinking you meant. No, I like it that it's like, you're right. You sort of be each other's biggest supporters all day and on the same level and connecting through other different little ways that aren't necessarily straight up physical, right? And then if you can find, you're right, because if you don't do any of that and you're just doing your routine monotonous becoming, some call it the roommate phase, right? Yeah, it's hard to get back together.

It's tough, but like I agree with you that the success of the evening comes from what you put in during the day. There it is. Put it on a t-shirt. That's the foundation. And also, if you're the guy and you've got a high sex drive and you really want to reconnect, man, just clean that house, brother. Oh yeah, sure play baby.

Just stack that dishwasher, get that laundry cleaned, mop the floors, because no one can think about being sexy when the house is a mess. So you take that off their plate, magic will happen. Sure play. Sure play. Alright, well said. On that note, it's time to go. So if you've enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, subscribe, five stars, a couple

of kind words would be lovely. Or you can join us on social media. At Two Doting Dads on TikTok. We have Instagram. It's going nuts. Not as many on the Facebook group at 3,000, but it's growing. It's more intimate. It's more intimate.

Yeah. That's like the community is just, there's actually a great group of people in there. The best 3000 people I've ever come across. Are you trying to sell it to me or? Absolutely. And also, that's it. That's where we're at. That's it, that's it.

I think we should wrap it up and get out of here. Okay, goodbye. Bye. Bye bye bye. Okay, see ya. Okay, see ya. Okay, see ya. Okay, see ya.

Okay, see ya. Okay, see ya. Okay, see ya. Okay, see ya. Okay, see ya. Okay, see him. OK, I'm good. I'm ready. I just get my fake laugh ready. OK, sorry. Because you know how you fake laugh at me all the time. I never, I never fake laugh. You do. To Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today..