Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #168 I've Made A Dumb Parenting Mistake

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Ash has given Oscar, 6, a fresh new look as he prepares for Book Week (when does it end!) Matt, on the other hand, has made a stupid parenting error after letting Lola, 4, enjoy a Sunday afternoon nap that went a little too long...the consequences showed up a few hours later.  We also answer your questions:  How do you respond when your child asks whether the Easter Bunny is or isn't real? What do you think is the right age to have kids? COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW SEP 4 IN SYDNEY!!!! https://tinyurl.com/22zht3ac  REGISTER HERE, TICKETS ARE FREE AND VERY LIMITED! BUY OUR SMELLY T SHIRTS HERE  https://www.twodotingdads.com/category/all-products Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Don't let me forget the chicken pie needs five more minutes. So remind me, someone remind me five minutes and chicken pie needs to come out of the oven. Also, it's really shit chicken pie and I'm so annoyed because I set it up and I filmed it for stories. It's funny, though. Everyone had a good time. Did we?

Did we? It smells good. It smells delicious. I'll tell you what. I'll remind you when it burns. Five minutes. Okay. Okay.

Welcome back to Two Dirting Dads. I'm Maddie J. And I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. And the chicken pie. And if you come for chicken pie,

welcome. Five minutes. Remind us in five minutes. The chicken pie will be ready. I'm going to forget. I know I'm going to get to this episode. Yes. And the chicken pie is not for me.

Chicken pie is for Laura because I was very dumb. and you and me, we're going to the snow. You and I. That's such a parent thing to do. You and I are driving to the snow this afternoon. Can't wait. I told Laura, very last minute, that I was going on a Tuesday. She thought I was going Wednesday, which was the original plan.

That was the plan, so. And so then I was last night, I was like, hey, here's a chicken pie. That'll fix it. She does love a chicken pie. Yeah, it was actually, like from last week, it was very lovely. So I do, and people really want the recipe. Before we start housekeeping, bam with the recipe on it. I'm not giving it away.

No, no, I'm holding on to that stuff. Are we going to start a cooking book? I think we are. No, it's, um, I will put in the show notes. Do I want to give away the chicken pie? Yeah, I will. Put it in the Facebook. I'll put in the Facebook.

Thank, very good. Give it to the community, not to the, yeah. Whatever. Just give it to the, whatever. So yeah, if you got to tell Laura that we're going, tonight so then man just the the logistics of it all ash trying to she's like well who's getting the kids and i was like fuck i completely understand uh i've got a message this is from jimmy jimmy wrote into us and he has something that relates to a segment we haven't run in a while

called petty couples love that okay so jimmy says and this is from instagram you can contact us through instagram we love it we reply to every message do we So Jimmy says, I've just got your episode about being petty with your partner. After an argument once, we got over it, talking about him and his partner. I'll boil the kettle with not enough water in it for a full coffee or tea for both me and my wife. I'll start doing jobs around the house to make it look like I'm an amazing person. Then I ask my wife if she wants a brew. The answer will be yes.

then tell her the kettle is just boiled. Then when she makes it, she would give me the full one because I'm being such a good husband and she gets a three-quarter full cup. And I've contrived it all. I'm either petty or an evil genius. That's borderline evil genius. Still love the pod.

Thank you. That's great. That's great. And I am cooking up something. I am cooking something about petty couples and just maybe next week I'll have it ready. Go on. I don't want to... No, it was a tease.

As a tease, in case April hears this. Now she's going to be like, what the fuck is it? She has to wait. Chicken pies is not ready. Just a reminder as part of this housekeeping that we now have at the front of the episode. We are doing a live show, Matthew. Not sure if you remember.

What? Yes. I actually did get the dates wrong. I got the dates wrong. Oh, what? Well, I just, I knew it was on the fourth, but I booked in other things around the fourth as well. Well, anyway.

Could be the fourth of any time. It's next Thursday. Yes. No, sorry. This Thursday? It's tomorrow. This is tomorrow. I'm confused.

The reason why I'm confused is because people don't know. We record this. They do. You've already told them. I know there's new listeners. Okay, cool. So just say what Matt's referring to is we record this a week before it's released. Yes.

That's how it works. So today is a Wednesday upon release. Tomorrow, Thursday, the fourth. So Thursday week from now, we will be having. No, it's fucking tomorrow. Tomorrow from now, we will be having a lot, having, we will be doing a live show. Jess is rolling your eyes and shaking a head at me. We are doing a live show at the Apple store.

What? On George Street. Yeah, we are. We are. It's on the corner, it's a lovely building. It's free. It is free. Link in the show notes, register, please.

Well, hang on, how much is it? Free! It is free. What will we talk about? Well, you can help with that. Yeah. You can help with that. You can.

Last minute. Last minute additions. your parents, we want your parenting lies. Submit them to us, however you like, social media. And it is a free show, so we won't be giving up that much. We're trying to sell. I'm kidding. People know my joke. I'm kidding. It's going to be great. But I do like how you've managed their expectations. Yeah, you got it just in case. Ash and I will be together in person, in the flesh. What are you going to wear? A suit, tuxedo. You are not. No, no. I was going to say mine. Maybe this blue shirt,

I'm wearing right now. It's very sky blue. You're going to be like the blue sky at night. Put that on a t-shirt. Moving on. Okay. You may have seen Ash. You may have seen on my social media, I have been dealing with some issues at home.

Before you get into that, because it's quite meaty, and I just got something really quick to run by that I should have put in housekeeping. Well, we're still in housekeeping, so go ahead. Oh, are we? It's come to my attention. I'll let you know when we're out of housekeeping. Okay. Thank God.

Oh, God. Finally, I can relax. You might already know this but I didn't know this and I was baffled by this and this is the opening song to Bluey do you understand

what's happening in that opening song? In the sequence of the picture or the song? The whole thing I can't really remember this intro. Mum! Oh no because they're dancing in the blue background. Yeah but what game

do you think they're playing? I don't know, are they playing a game? They're just dancing. Musical statues. Did you not know that? I thought you would know that for sure. So, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-man. Mom, frozen statue.

Oh! Dad, whatever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What? Yeah. Do you know who told me that? Who? A six-year-old.

Who were you hanging out with? My son. Oh, yeah. Marley. No. I didn't even know that. How does he know? How does Oscar know that?

Though they talk at school, apparently. There's all the rage on the playground. It's circulating the school. Everyone's baffled. It's true. Wow. I have. So I thought I saw someone outside.

It was just the washing blowing. That is, wow. It's like a hidden message. I love, I love, there's so many little nuggets in Bluey. There's interesting facts. Yeah. Yeah. The guy who plays in the voice of dad.

Yeah. has like emerged and started to do like behind the scene stuff. Really interesting. Has he gone rogue or is he allowed to? No, no, he's just like, there's so many questions about the show and it's obviously the most stream show in the world, which is Australian, which is a fucking hats off to ever created that. Can I just, can I tell you one fact as well that will blow your mind about blowing?

I love this. So apparently. It's about dogs. And don't quote me on this because I read it somewhere a long time ago and I'm kind of just trying to like recall the facts. but apparently ABC who commissioned the show were like, do we want the worldwide rights? Nah, we don't want that.

We'll have the rights for Australia and then BBC got the rights for merch and for like global streaming. So now they're worth like billions of dollars. It's crazy. ABC, what are you doing? Oh, they're like a government funded or whatever. They have no idea what they're fucking doing over there.

But it is like at the moment that bluey converse are out. It's bluey Lego. Yeah, dude, the blue... It is lit. I'm all about it. Anything bluey on it, it could be like bluey broccoli. They'd be like, get it to me!

Oh, I know. I love it. Crazy. Anyway, that was my little factoid. I thought you would know. Because you know much more than me. Thank you. Thank you.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, back to the wall. Sorry. Do I check the pie now or check the pie later? Check the pie. Do you want the pie out now? later, you're cool. You're cool. Up to you.

Oh, I would just, I would definitely get it out. I'm going to give it two more minutes. After housekeeping. All right. After housekeeping, Keating, there will be pie. Okay. We are still in housekeeping. You may have seen on social media that I had an incident at my house. Oh, yeah. The other week on Friday, it was very windy. After what I think the meteorologists are calling the most amount of rain in like the history of Australia. In a certain period. Just ever.

Ever. Just ever. They were like, that's so much rain. So they gathered one of every animal. And it was rain. It was nearly that time. Marley and Lola were going, when is it going to stop raining? And I was like, I don't know, but I'm over it.

I heard that we got a month in two days, a month's worth. But they always say that. And I feel like they just throw that fact out there to be like to keep small talk going. No one's calling that shit out. Yeah, because everyone's around the water cooler. And they're going, did you hear that we just had a month's worth of rain in two days. Do you know what people are going to be saying now?

They were like, did you know that Bluey at the intro? They're actually playing statues. I was rattled when I found out Bluey was a girl dog. Me too. Anyway, we're learning so much. So, I'm at home. I'm relaxing. No, I was working hard actually.

You relaxing. And I hear this almighty crash. And the brick wall that divides our backyard and the neighbor's backyard, Ronda, the general, spoken about her a few times. spoken about her a few times sometimes she loves me sometimes she hates me she's like a lighthouse

yeah always there she's always at the front swiveling and yeah and love Ronda I love Ronda she does love a swivel bad hip you can hear her squeaking

no family never married she's by herself but you gave me an interesting fact that she was a I think she won Miss Bondi 1970 Ronda love her But she's very elderly.

She must be pushing 80 odd. And no family, no friends, really. She never leaves the house. She leaves once a fortnight to go get groceries. She has a government-assisted carer that comes over, takes her, does a grocery, comes back. Apart from that, she's locked indoors watching TV. Also, the people that do those jobs. I don't know how, like the patience on those people.

It's pretty easy, bro. Oh, is it? Drive to the shops. Sorry. I'm joking. I was a joke. Can you leave that in there? That was a joke.

That was a joke. The sort of person he really is. Sorry. Go on. Anyway, so the wall comes down and it makes a bloody big noise. It's a big brick wall. We're talking like a ton of bricks. The social worker tipped it over onto your house, didn't they?

I found out what you really think about them. Yeah. To go to Rhonda's backyard, I can just step over the bricks. I know, I noticed that. And I go, Rhonda, did you hear that? And she's like, what? And she's just watching Wheel of Fortune. On really loud, obviously.

And she's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, the brick walls come down. And she's like, did it? Come have a look. And she's going, oh dear. And I'm going, oh, like, this is going to cost money. Don't worry, I'll sort this out. And you're a good guy for doing that because I wouldn't have done that.

What would you have done? I would have said, you better fucking fix your fence. You know how you call the council on me about my front port? I'm going to call the council on you. I was fixing a leak in the roof. and whilst that leak was being fixed, she called, I'm pretty sure she called the council on me

and they thought I was doing unapproved work so they came and did an inspection on the house, which is just a whole other ordeal. Ronda's very much like, never let them know your next move. Oh, yeah. She's like, she knew that brick wall fellow.

She's like, oh, did it? Yes. And then she's like, oh, Matthew, thank you so much. Let me just call the council on you? She did call me a sweetheart. And then she called the council on you. Yeah. So you never let them know.

I think just for reference, I think we're out of house. Okay, keep going, just roll it. Just in case people were like, is this still housekeeping? Yeah, we don't want to confuse the public. You're right. It was very meaty. You were on the money there.

I wanted to sit on a while because it's quite a substantial wall. Yes. And so we're not talking a little wall. So anyway, I'm talking through how we're going to fix this wall. At the same time, Ash, I hear another crash. Oh, fuck. A huge crash. A big bang and there's this like broken fiberglass in my backyard now.

backyard now. And I'm like, what the hell is this? Her skylight cover, her house is so old. It is like, the bolts are so rusted. It's flown up off her roof because it's very windy. Let's just remind people that it's blown over a big brick wall. The sunroof cover is smashed into my backyard. And I go into her house and into her living room. She has a one meter by one meter gap in the ceiling now, straight through. I can look through. Yeah, where a skylight should be. It's raining into her living room. Oh my God. I'm like, Ronda, you've just, your skylight cover's gone.

And she goes, is it? Oh, she's got you wrapped her out of the finger, bro. And I'm like, can you call anyone? And she's like, who would I call? I'm an elderly woman. How am I going to call? No family, never been married. Who's she got?

Maddie J. So I, luckily, because our roof was being fixed. I said to the boys, can you fix Ronda's roof? Just temporary. and I'll speak to a couple of supplies so you can fix the skylight because we're talking straight through. And it's been one of the rainiest fucking years ever

and it's set to continue. Month's rain and how long? Two days. There we go. Apparently. Anyway, so we sort out a couple of supplies. We get it booked in, fixed on Tuesday. Don't worry, Rhonda, you're good.

I've spent the afternoon helping her out. Also got a temporary cover on the skylight as well. No problem at all. Just what I do. you're really you are really forming into a dad so then on monday oh fuck i go hey ronda just letting you know the boys are going to fix your skylight are coming tomorrow she goes what do you mean oh my god and i'm like the the skylight she goes what are you talking about it's the skylight that's that that that flew on you know that fucking hole in the middle of your house and she goes oh no

i called the insurance and they're going to come and fix it i said well you've already said yes to this other guy that I call for you. And she's like, nah, don't want it. Oh, my goodness. So then I'm calling Tim and going, Tim. Don't worry about it. And he goes, I've already ordered the skylight. I'm like, oh, God.

Painful. She's definitely like, don't let Matt know my next move. 100%. Like, I'm just going to string this guy along. And again, you're good guy for hanging around. I would have been like, good luck with that. Left. That's a difference between you and me.

Anyway, so this morning, this morning I was letting the boys in to fix the skylight and far out, man. I'm laughing about it, but. I did see them up there. So they fixed it. They fixed it. Okay. Because the insurance was going to take. That'll take fucking forever.

Thank you. Thank you. That's the thing. I feel like a lot of older people get scammed by insurance. Oh, for sure. It's just such an easy target. Yeah, because you're like, you know we're an insurance company. You can rely on us.

We're here to help you. Who mentioned it? It was like, insurance is essentially gambling. Yes. That's all it is. For sure. Which is fucking crazy. Especially if an 80-year-old woman rings up and goes, hey, there's a fucking

hole in my house. Can you fix it? They're like, yeah, we'll get there in like six to eight months. Right? Yeah. So I think you did the right thing by forcing it on her. Otherwise you didn't force anything upon her. What are you talking about?

That came out, Rob. Yeah. I saw, and my suggestion was that because she doesn't, remember much. You should fence off her, you should fence off the back of her house and just commandeer that her backyard is now your backyard. She doesn't use it. She's got a bad hip. Yeah. And then she could be like, was that like, and you're like, I don't know. Yeah, of course it was. I think it was. Absolutely it was. And then you got your, you're essentially just turning it back on her. Very incriminating that we're speaking about this on the podcast. I can't actually.

She doesn't listen. No, but everyone else does. She's pretty deaf. She'll be right. Don't worry about it. So anyway, so that was, man. And the fence, you're going to replace the fence with what? You're going to like this. Treated hardwood pine. Hardwood? I don't know. What dida.

Is what a treated? Treated pine? Treated pine? Yeah, it's a more economical. I threw hardwood because it just felt right. It did. Technically all wood's pretty hard. But that hardwood is pretty expensive.

If it's roughsword, your kids are going to get splinters. But with the treated pine, anyway, we go into it. So it has been a stressful weekend. we've been dealing with all that as well with all that rain. Our roof also started leaking again. Whereabouts this time? Through to the bathroom.

Again. Through the light. Yeah, dude. And so... Water's a tricky one. That's what they say about water. They say once it finds a way in, well said.

Put it on a T-shirt. It's just like, you know what they say about water? Once it's in. It's wet. It's in. On the weekend, dude. Laura and I were just stressed out of our eyeballs.

Yeah, well, you called me on Sunday and you definitely, I don't know, you just had a little, a bit more speed in your voice because it's like a lot, obviously I've seen what's happened on social media. Yeah. But you were just, even just the little things you could tell that you're a bit like, there's way more on your mind than just this conversation. And Laura and I, just, you know, as stressed as we are, were very tense with each other. We ended up having a bit of an argument.

She also is like eight months pregnant. And she's also eight months' print, which I sometimes forget. But we were at Yochi, and I don't remember saying this, but she said, let's go. I'm feeling pretty, like, off now. And I said, yep. And I didn't get up and go. Immediately. And she said, my back's really hurting.

And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. But I was on my phone doing something, working. Okay. And I still remained seated. Was she seated? She was standing. Oh, God.

And so she was getting annoyed that I was. wasn't listening to her. And so then I was like, why is Laura so annoyed at me? So then I was kind of like a bit stroppy with her. Just a classic miscommunication. A classic like other things are the reason why you're both stroppy. But then we had a bit of a bit of a stoutish. About what?

Just about like, we'll just, we're both just stressed. Just like. What set it off? No, she said, can you get a bag out of the car? And I didn't reply to that. And then like, it just kicked off. I love the small things that just kick off. into like something massive that's nothing.

And so we didn't end up resolving the fight until the next morning. And I had to resolve the fight, which I would normally do anyway, but we had a surprise lunch booked, which was actually not a lunch for me and her, like Laura thought, it was a surprise baby shower. Oh, is that what that was? Yeah.

Choose for the invite, guys. And it was, unless you're, it was, right, yeah, okay. So then we had to make up that morning. Oh my God. And you know when you make up and you both apologize, you both accept the apologies? It's not real. But it hasn't, you like, you are kind of fine,

but you still, you can't just snap and go, we love each other. The time hasn't passed for you to go, forget that you love this person more than you're fighting this person. Yes. I get it. So whenever you have a fight, you both apologize. You still need like a couple of residual hours to just like get it out of your system. You look happy on your stories.

So then I was like, well, we've got to get dressed now go to this lunch and so we're like driving in the car like not really saying much to each other meanwhile there's like 20 of her friends at the restaurant hiding that Laura doesn't know about oh that's great that's all of eight-month pregnant woman wants a fight with a husband and then a surprise party I'm surprised the baby didn't pop out on the restaurant floor so then we're like surprise and then Laura was like I actually really wanted to have it just with you because there's a fight we've had this fight oh fuck anyway and then I was like see you so did you make up or not.

Yeah, no, we already, we'd already made up. We just, we just need, we need to be the residual two hours, like, you need mandated time to get over an argument. I know to, to where the point where either you or your partner are like, oh, fuck, I've gotten so far past the point that I need to say something now. Because I've tried to be staunch and let, and just have the shits with April and then continue to have the shits, but then eventually I'm like, fuck, I need something. Do it!

I need something that only she can help me win! Where's my jacket? Yeah, she's like, I don't know, find it yourself. I was like, look, I'm sorry that I said that. Now, where's my jacket? I'm not over it yet, so yeah. You know, like, it's fucking awkward, isn't it? Oh, no, it's like when you're hungry and you're like, well, do you want to get lunch?

She's like, oh, I don't know. Are you hungry? Yes, I'm starving. Yeah. We're starving for hours, but we haven't spoken. Oh, very good. I hate it when you guys fight, though, so don't fight. Thank you.

Okay, so we're all good now. Everyone's good. Yeah, we're good. I mean, I'm still... You're a bit stressed as well, too. I'm all right. I'm going to be okay. And I told you that if there's anything you need, don't ask me.

No, you're going to ask me. I'll try and help you out as much as possible. But... We said last week that if you say that you're an asshole, you have to, you can't just, you can't, you have to come in person. Excuse me? After what in person? Keeping you, man.

When are you going to rock up and... I can help you out. What do you need? What do you want? What can help you with? Do you know what I'll do? I'll build the fence for you. That'd be funny.

Can you? Well, I'm on a lifestyle TV show now. I can do anything. Was that a little clue to the TV show you stole from me? Yeah. All right. Sorry, I just said a little... Now, last week, we did talk about and we did have a whinge about,

which everyone does this time of the year, which is book week, book day. fucking knows, but I did mention last week that Oscars is a week later. Did you say Marley's was a week later? Marley's is tomorrow, which I'm missing because I'm going to the snow with you. I'm going to be honest, you're not missing much because I had to go to the Oscars won yesterday. So, Oscar last year, when as who? Me. Yes, that's right. Because we had, we released a book, two dirty dads and the quest for free time. It's available now.bw.com.com. I don't think it's still available. No, whatever. No, it is. Is it still? Can you still buy it?

you still buy it. Are you sure? I don't know. Buy it right now. Yeah, go and buy it. If it turns up, then it's still available. Anyway, so Oscar wanted again to go as me, which I'll honor it. Yeah. Absolutely honored. And you see someone in the Facebook group wanted to go as Oscar? Did you see that? Yes. A pass in the batten down. Yeah. But last year, we, I sort of drew some tattoos on him, just like here and there, just so. But this year we went a little bit all out, which Abe was a little bit pissy about because we went to the shops to buy

a couple of tattoos and I ended up spending $30 on fake tattoos, which realistically... Great investment. It's ridiculous. They rub off immediately. It doesn't last long with a kid because they're like, oh, I wonder, you know what? That's almost 50 bucks. Yeah, pretty much.

It is 50 bucks. It's technically... You're at it right up. This economy. You've just dropped 50 bucks on... I don't know. Cost of living. People are just like, what do you spend 50 bucks on temporary tattoos for? I'm like, might your business. Anyway, I was a bit pissedy about that. But I was like, if we're going to do it, I like to do things properly.

Do you think she's annoyed that it just, it wasn't, she didn't get like a look-in? Macy, I'm sure Macy will want to go his bum. Will she, though? Probably not. No, because I had to, she wanted tattoos too. Pepper pink ones, actually. But I just did a little bit more of an effort this time with Oscar. Because I thought, it's primary school.

Why don't I do it so that parents would think it's not inappropriate, Apparently to think it's like, oh, that's kind of a little bit inappropriate. So I took a photo. Please. Of Oscar dressed as me. Oh, my God. That is epic. So.

Is that real? Like, are these, like, did you, oh my God. I stick at that boy right. Oh my God. These are unbelievable. And did you draw a mustache on it? Yeah, yeah. Oh.

It actually looks so sick. And I was like, I was like, I'm proud you are. I was so proud. And I was like, oh, maybe some parents would be like, oh, it's a bit inappropriate. Do you know what I say? Yeah. Do you want to say to those parents? Get over yourself.

That's, the placement's great. Yeah. And you put mum on his chest. I know. And then he had dad on his knuckles or daddy on his knuckles. My God. So good. Look at the sleeve.

I know. So for those who are listening, it's, I have, I have all those. temporary tattoos, the $50 worth of temporary tattoos, I put them all over my child's body pretty much in similar places to where I have them. It took ages. Have you noticed on the hands? He's got little webs as well? Yeah. Yeah, that's very good. That's great. Well done to you. Thank you. Lots of tigers and lots of dragons. I am a good dad. Someone, um, someone did an article, I think it was a kid spot where they were like, let's be honest, book week is just unpaid labor for mums. And I was like, and I was like, I don't know if it's just the fact that I'm like oblivious to how,

we parent in our household but I'm getting involved in book week yeah I did all of that and then I had just tattoo Macy up as well can I play yeah that's just the parade and can I just say oh sorry okay oh my gosh a T-Rex that's his buddy that's his buddy but anyway he took our book to school he did the parade and I just want to say the parade is fucking boring All right, let's be honest. They just walk around.

Good for the kids, it's their thing. But I reckon 70% of the kids don't want to do it either. I never did that. Did you do that when you're a kid? I have no recollection of doing the book parade at all. No, because there was a couple of kids there that were just in regular uniform, which is fine. Did they still walk in the parade? Yeah.

In regular uniform. Don't shame them. Don't you dare. Sorry. No, I was just inquisitive. I was just making sure. And we were talking about it. And I said, I said,

Were their parents there? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know all the kids. It'd be weird to go watch your child in the book parade and like acknowledge that you did nothing. Exactly. So, sorry. So obviously their parents weren't there.

We're not here to judge, Matthew. And that's... Here comes Timmy. He's got no parents. Fuck. Sorry. Anyway, some say his dad went out for milk. No.

Oh, my goodness. I felt a bit sorry for that kid. And when the other, some of the other parents bitching, I separated myself from that. I acknowledged those kids like, I acknowledged those kids like, that was completely within the group. Because I was like... How else you meant to... Well, you know, you see some parents...

Loser! Yeah, you see some parents that are kind of like... Like they would, like, the cheer would stop when Timmy goes by? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Poor Timmy. Yeah. But I was like, I'm a guy, a T-Rex.

And Timmy walks by and they're like... Some people were talking shit, okay? Whoa, there we go. That's what we want. I was trying to dance around it. But I was like, and I was like, I would hate. Why is Ash crying? I would hate it if someone was talking shit about me.

So I, for once in my life, didn't get involved with the talking shit about people because I think it's very fun. Because I was more on the, I was more on the kids level. Wow, this level of personal growth is really amazing. I know. When we got into the car and April was like, oh, you know, it's sad, like. Timmy. Seeing Timmy like that. But again, we don't, and I said to it, we don't know the circumstance.

Okay, and how would you like it if Timmy's mum and dad were in their car talking shit about you? It's an interesting shout with the teacher. Like, do you let the kids who aren't dressed up go on the parade? Because you don't want to like not ostracize them. Yeah, it's of like you want to, it's all about inclusivity. Yeah. I think there's a very mature way that you've handled the situation and you should be very... I didn't get involved.

Yeah. Yeah, because you love laughing at other people. That's one of my favorite things to do. That's what you're good at. Thank you. Finally. Also on book week, someone messaged and said the reason why daycare doesn't have a designated book day within book week is because all the kids go on different days, right?

So they have to try and allow every day of that week to be a potential book day, dress-up day, so kids don't miss out. So it's all week. So they say, like, you can pick one day, but then the parents just get so carried away with it all that they end up doing. There's always that parent that they send their kid in something. different every day because it's like, guilty. But we, at Macy's day, no book week, nothing.

Full stop. Wow. Which I think is a great initiative. Just fucking flag the whole thing. It's great. You're now having that response because you didn't get to dress up. Wow. And you missed out.

Wow. Okay. Well, my therapist is going to love this. Anyway, bookweek's over. Thank goodness. But the parade was boring as far Okay, so I won't miss out in anything I don't think so, no

Ash, I've done something so stupid I've, you think at this stage I've been a parent now for six years I would have learned a thing or two I would hope so about how to parent I would hope so You have a dad podcast too, pal

Don't pal me Okay, bud And you know Sometimes Ash when there's an opportunity to take a little shortcut. You will take that shortcut, even though you realize that before you get to the finish line, it's going to make the journey harder.

Oh, there's repercussions to every shortcut. Put that on a T-shirt. I am on with those today. You just had your medication. Don't deliver all my secrets. I decided to allow Lola to have a nap on Sunday. You goose And after 45 minutes

45 minutes I allowed the nap to continue Oh my God For how long? A hour and a half Shit Fucking hell An hour and a half nap

For like a nearly five year old Is pretty much a night's sleep That's a full time, yeah She literally She's got two days ahead of an hour We had dinner And I was going Well it's time that we have a bath

And she was like, what for? I said, we're getting ready for bed. And she was like, don't need that. You were like, how do you wear this kid out? Hey, Lola, have you heard of Peloton? Yeah. No? Oh, dude.

So what, in the right of the middle of the day? Or was it like? Yeah, it was, it was smack banging. Why was she so tired? Because she had soccer. Yeah, okay. And I think she's just, she's been getting up really early at the moment for some reason. Probably because she keeps napping during the fucking day.

So then we got time to read the stories, put them down to bed. Marley, out like a light. Yeah, there's always one of them, because at your chair room, too, one goes, and the other's just talking to themselves. Dude, Lola's just there, like, wide eye going,

well, I'm not tired. Who's got the bag? And I said, you've got to lay down, close your eyes, try and fall asleep. 8 o'clock. She goes, I'm not tired. And I said, keep on trying.

She's lay down with me. I said, nope. 9 o'clock. She's like, they're playing with her dolls, reading books, in, I was like, far out, 10 o'clock. Shut up. She's still there like, nothing yet.

Feel nothing. I feel nothing. I was like, oh my God, please, for the love of God, go to sleep. And she's like, wish I could. Oh, God, what time? Laid on me. 10.30. She went to bed at 10.30.

So she fell asleep or she tried to start sleeping at 10.30. I think she was trying for a long time. But finally, 1030. I put my head in and she was gone. And I was like, oh, and then when I had to wake up at 7 in the morning to get ready for daycare, she was wrecked. Oh, poor thing. It's all your fault.

But that hour and a half. Oh, that's great. It was just so good. I do miss it. I felt free again. Remember how much I used to nap? Not anymore. We've all forgotten.

I was thinking about that last night. I was like, trying to sleep. Who changed? And because Macy's not napping it, it was like my favorite. And we bonded so much because we would nap together and we'd wake up and we'd be cuddle. Shit together. Knapp, shit. We're in cycle.

But now there's no naps, and I'm sad. You and Macy drifting apart. Difting apart. Also, my caffeine intake is going through the roof. Because I can't, I, like, I never used to be able to nap until I had kids. And I taught myself how to nap. God, that makes me feel proud. And then now there's no more naps.

And I'm upset about it. But I do, Macy does fall asleep in the car. What? It's 42 minutes. Oh, shit. Anyway, we'll see you next time. Macy does fall asleep in the car, but only for like five minutes. And that ruins us.

I don't care. Thanks. I was joking. That ruins us because she's up to like eight, quarter past eight. Oh, God, he's going on again. Oh, God, I can shut this guy up. All right. Let's go into a segment.

Let's, let's go into questions. Ooh. Let's go questions. Okay. Curfball. I like it. I like what you're doing with it. Go.

Let's give parents a little rest. Okay. We're just going to rest it. We're going to give it a nap. Love it. Thank you. A hour and a half. Thank you, hour and a half.

We'll bring back next week. Let's go into listen to questions if we may. Yes. I get the first question. And just a warning to the parents out there. If you're driving in the car and the kids are listening or if you're home, we're on YouTube, because we're on YouTube now. We are going to be talking about the Easter bunny right now specifically.

So, is that a warning? We will be talking about it. the Easter bunny and how much we love the Easter bunny. Yes. And where he came from. So like wink, wink, nudge. Let's gaslight the kids. From Gillian, how do you respond when your child asked whether the Easter bunny

is or isn't real? I did it in a way which I now know is the wrong way. According to Laura. Okay. Well, that's just one person. Just the mother of your children and... So Marley goes to after school. I never disagree with it. Go on. when your wife is eight months pregnant,

they could say the sky is purple and you go, yep. Yep. I did have to remind you of that a few times. So Marley goes to an after school care. Yep. They go with older kids. She came home and she goes, someone said the Easter bunny is not a thing.

And I said, well, that is not true at all. What's his name? I'll find him. Who gives all the chocolate? And she goes, apparently you do, parents get the chocolate. She's on to us. I was sweating at this point.

And she goes, well, who does all the instructions? We have those little arrows sometimes. Like, it's over here. And I go, I, you know, I have to help the Easter Bunny. Yeah, I've met him. Plenty times. You know, he's so busy. You can't, he can't deliver the chocolate and do the directions as well.

So I do the directions. We like help each other out. We've got a system going. To be fair, he got sick of breaking and entering. So now he's just knocking. Yeah, he just leaves him at the front. We've got to help. We've got to help.

I'll help hide them. Yep. And she goes, so hang on, you are, you are telling me. that the Easter Bunny is 100% real. I said, yeah, absolutely, it is. So who else gives the chocolate? If it's not me, it has to be someone, it's the Easter Bunny. And she goes, you pinky promise me.

And for anyone who doesn't know, Marley, who's my eldest daughter, she is six now, we have a system in place that if we pinky promise each other, like this. Like this? Do you suck on your thumbs or not? what that's a game me and my friends play so for example if she's watching tv and i say you've got one minute left once the alarm goes off you have to brush your teeth you promise me and she goes yeah i got a pinky promise and she can't break it i love that because it's also like a bit of bonding it's like a little that's like a little little thing yeah i like that it's i think so you can never

break your pinky promise she's got you bent over a barrel and so easter bunny question she goes do you pinky promise that you're not lying to me you pinky promise that it's true and i go yep And Laura, I look over at Laura to be like, don't worry, babe, I got this. And she's like, what are you doing, you idiot? Oh, this is going to, I thought, what do you do in that situation? You've got to stand by it now for so much longer. Because there's a time when it's just, it's, it's time for that not to be real. She's too young.

Oh, for sure. She's too young. percent and but she also knew what she was doing she's bent you over a barrel here clever and look at the moment i think you're in the clear for now but when it comes to break in the pinky promise i think what'll happen is you'll remember the pinky promise and you'll feel bad about but she won't and she won't make you feel bad about laura said i'll remind you laura said look it you can believe whatever you want to believe in if you believe the bunny rabbit to be true it is true which i find confusing. What does that mean? That's rubbish. Yeah, what's that about? I'm sorry,

Laura. Matt made me say it. It's so, yeah, I haven't. Well, because now, you know, we start with the Easter Bunny, who is no disrespect to the characters in like the calendar of events. But like two, two very Easter Bunny, bottom of the latter. They're like non-critical. Okay. Santa Claus, top of the food chain. Yeah, the guy that breaks into your house. once a year. It's so confusing. Yeah, but once you, you know, once you start not believing in the Easter bunny,

it all unravels. The whole magic of... They don't know what else you're fucking lying about. Yeah. Yeah. Like, is healthy Harold real? Yeah. Of course he is.

He's fucking bottom of the rung. I heard he smokes. So don't listen to anything he said. To Han. Two eggs. And she said she'd love a shout-out. So shout out to Hannah. But we're confused whether it's Han or Hannah.

It's Han. Hi, Han. No, Han. Hanam. The M silent. My fiancé and I, were both 25 and childless, have listened to the pod since day one. Since day one. Yes, we're childless, but you're both hilarious.

And that's it. My job is done here. That's all that she says. Okay. And that's what we're talking about. Anyways, we're getting married next year. Great. Congratulations.

And both very keen for children. However, my partner is keen to be a young dad and wanting to reproduce ASAP. Whereas I am keen to drag it out for as long as possible. Did she just say reproduce? Come on. What? Just a real formal way to put that. Isn't it?

For me, it is. For reference, I have no issues with your... You're mature. I am not. Go. Very mature for 25. I take it you will not using the word Reproduce at 25 Ash.

I couldn't even spell it. Still can't spell it. Whereas I'm keen to drag it out for as long as possible wanting to enjoy my tour. 20s and early 30s, in brackets, aka drinking. Now I'm listening. My question, my cue is, my cue, my cue is. The language on this person, you are way more matured, you're ready.

Would you have changed when you had children or how did you decide when you wanted them? Did April and Laura think more about it than you as it can be more of a sacrifice as women? Fertility is obviously the elephant in the room. A big question mark as we haven't gone down that path yet. but I would love your opinion, especially when both of us are very clucky but unsure. Very good question, Hand. I appreciate that. What?

Sorry. I'm adapting to the situation. I'm not a good question. That's a very good question. I appreciate that. When I was a young, 25-year-old chap, 10 years ago, oh, God, thanks for reminding me. 13 for me, big guy? Yeah.

Come on, spit it out. Middle-aged. So you were how old when you had kids? 29 I was and I was never that person who was like so sure they wanted kids or so unsure they wanted kids. I was always through this cycle where it was like, oh, I would love to have a kid. Then it would be like, oh, no, I like my life as it is or like, I'm not ready. There was always these mixed feelings. April was definitely much more sure of herself and when to do it.

She's a planner, right? I'm not. I'm like very sporadic. That's what makes us work. So she was very much So to put it his way She wanted kids I was unsure

So we compromised and had kids That is beautiful Thank you That is And I'm not unhappy about it But I was also like I don't want to have I don't want to have kids

And it become my whole personality And now I have a parenting podcast It is all of your personal God damn it Anyway Okay well okay The question question is with that My quick answer to that was

April had the plan and I went with the plan. Okay, but, but would you, in hindsight, would you have changed earlier later? No. Stuck to the... No, I think mid to late 20s. Great. To 30.

Like these days, I mean, with science. Sorry, I don't want to upset anyone. Yeah. Go on to that one. Somewhere between 25 and 30, I think. Where are we going about science? What's that? about what are you just modern technology man oh my god fuck okay uh i think uh 29 for us was

the right time and i think it's going to be for who for them when it feels right then that's the right time well said how old was i i'm 38 now i Jesus no uh yeah i we didn't really talk about having kids. It was a very welcome surprise. Was it? I didn't know that. Was it? Was it now? I'm back from London. Okay. Was that a surprise? Yeah, because Laura had taken some medication. I'm pretty sure this is what happened. The medication had an, it meant that the pill wasn't working. And so then, but she wasn't informed that. She tricked you, bro. She tricked you into it. And so it was a surprise. We weren't trying. But at the same time, we both knew that we really wanted to have kids and I was like, pumped for kids. But I do think when I look at people who are in their 20s having kids, for me, I'm like, man,

the 20s for me was about making, you know, having no responsibility, doing whatever the hell I wanted, being able to travel, you know, and just having the freedom, oh, the freedom, to do whatever the hell I wanted. Like some of the holidays that Laura and I took together without kids, amazing, epic. Like, so glad we did that. Because it becomes a, a lot more difficult with kids. But at the same time, I think I did underestimate just how fun life can still be with kids in the mix. I was just going to say that.

It's a different type of fun. I would say during the 20 in 20s and April and I traveled and did all these things together, but it was at the time, that was the fun. Yes. That makes sense. And then, to be completely honest with you, since having kids and being in my 30s, I've had the most fun I've ever had. And it's not just, you know, like I have adult money now and can do things and I have a career and what we do is fun and I get to travel and do all that sort of stuff.

But also then I get to come home and yes, I, you know, every now and then you've got to yell at your fucking kids because they're painful sometimes. But you have a different type of fun because you sort of get on their level a little bit, right? And you do that shit. Yeah. Or you get to take, like, for example, the first time I took Oscar to a manly game and you're like, I used to go. go to Manly games with my mates and get pissed and have fun, it's different now. I get to see the look on Oscar's face when Olokawatu walks over and signs his football. And it's like, holy shit, dude, I'm having so much fun.

Yeah. It's different. You're doing the same things that you used to do, but you're seeing them in a whole new perspective now that you're a parent. Yeah. It does make life harder. It goes without sharing. But it's also, like we're not going to sugarcoat it.

Parenting is, Hannah, I'm just warning you, managing your expectations. Being a parent, you will be more exhausted, more stressed, more anxious. than ever before but at the same time you will get more fulfillment more love than you ever knew possible yeah here's a really good example right I get back

you just gave your example I'll give one more real quick how many just what real quick is better be quick okay so it's it's bedtime for the kids right and then we're gonna let the dog out

and the dog goes out to wee on the bush and on the grass and I'm standing there with Oscar who's out of the shower ready for bed and we're both standing there and I look down to them and he goes

I weigh on that grass too And I was like, add a boy. And just that moment, it's like, he's my little mate. And he's just like, yeah, I pee over there too. I'm like, fucking, it's a different joy, right? That you're not, you, you wouldn't have got in like your 20s. So I've never had that moment. So I would say to this person, you do you.

And when it feels right, and when it, when it feels right, it'll be the right time. You've already said that. Fuck. Sorry. God, how dare I care about the listener? Han, I hope that answers your question. She's probably like, what the fuck was that dribble? It's like in...

There is no way Hannah is still listening at this point. She is gone long ago. In Billy Madison, the guy's like, we are all dumber from listening to that. I'm sure if anyone made it pass the chicken pie chat within the first five minutes, it'd be a miracle. Just put that enlightening piano music behind it. It'll be fine.

But we should get the opinions of Laura and April. We should. We will. We will do. We'll put that in next week's episode. So don't worry. So Hannah's going to get the double shout out. Your Hannah's like, fuck.

Make it end. When will it end? Put me out of my misery. Just have a couple of kids and shut up. If you've enjoyed this episode, God. She's now 28. Please give us a review. We had some beautiful ones.

OG listener did a recent review. First time giving a review. What's taking you so long? I know. Fully, what the hell's that about? But thank you for that. Very nice. I'm going to review your review.

Beautiful words. So we would love a review, subscribe if you're not already And also send this episode To any episode to any friends out there Family that would benefit Or join us on socials Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and YouTube now Or you can register at the link

In the show notes to see us Oh, the cat's out there Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm trying to get people to that live show now Although I think at the end of this episode They're like, I'm fucking definitely not going to that It'll just be a bunch of shitty

Shitty dribble and then Ash going Put that on a t-shirt every 15 minutes. So we'll see you there. Bye. See you later. Oh my God, Jess. What was that? You?

I thought she would sit there and listen to us. She's there watching fucking movies. Are you for real? What? Oh, God. Oh, she was looking. No, don't believe that bullshit. Is it a, is this?

Is it a YouTube video? No. Show your screen. She's watching porn! Two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.